As society continues to grapple with the public health issue of loneliness, researchers have recently found a “surprising” outcome after studying the way loneliness could affect memory in older adults. While loneliness may have a significant impact on memory, it might not affect how fast memory declines over time, according to a study published in the Aging and Mental Health journal last week.

In a longitudinal analysis, researchers evaluated a total of 10,217 participants aged 65 and older from the Survey of Health, Ageing and Retirement (SHARE) from 12 countries over six years. Researchers sought to investigate how loneliness impacted memory in older adults.

The participants self-reported whether they experienced high loneliness, average loneliness or low loneliness at the study’s outset; none of the participants initially had a history of cognitive decline. Researchers found that participants who reported high loneliness had a significantly lower initial performance when their memories were assessed, compared to those who reported average or low loneliness. Reporting high loneliness, however, did not speed up their rate of decline in memory scores over time.

Dr. Luis Carlos Venegas-Sanabria, the lead author of the study from Universidad del Rosario in Colombia, said that the outcome of the study was “surprising.”

“The finding that loneliness significantly impacted memory, but not the speed of decline in memory over time was a surprising outcome,” he said in a news release. “It suggests that loneliness may play a more prominent role in the initial state of memory than in its progressive decline.”

In one task to assess the participants’ memory performance, they were presented with a 10-word list that was read aloud and then immediately asked to recall as many words as possible within one minute. Then they were asked to recall words from a 10-word list after five minutes. During the five minutes, participants were given unrelated information to prevent them from rehearsing the word list.

The study found that while the high loneliness group initially showed poorer memory performance, their rate of decline over time was similar to that of the participants in the other groups.

“Interestingly, the baseline level of loneliness does not affect the rate of long-term cognitive decline,” the study states. “This suggests that loneliness may have a greater impact on the initial state of memory rather than on facilitating progressive decline.”

But researchers noted other key findings about the group that initially reported high loneliness. Those participants were more commonly older, female, and had worse self-rated health. They also had a higher prevalence of depression, high blood pressure and diabetes.

Furthermore, the study authors noted that other factors affected participants’ baseline memory performances more significantly than their level of loneliness did. These factors included age, depression, reported health status and engagement in physical or social activities.

The study had several limitations, the authors noted. For starters, it viewed loneliness as a stable variable that did not change over time. Also, participants self-reported their level of engagement in physical or social activity, which can introduce bias, among other limitations.

Previous research has found links between loneliness and increased risk of cognitive decline and dementia. The authors note that past findings between loneliness and its association with dementia risk have been “inconsistent.” “Future longitudinal research is needed to examine how changes in loneliness and social isolation relate to patterns of cognitive change and how other covariates may modify this relationship,” the study states.

Jordan Weiss, an associate professor at the New York University Grossman School of Medicine and a scientific writer at Assisted Living Magazine, cautioned that the results of the new study may be easy to “misread.”

Weiss, who was not involved in the study, told Fox News that it can be hard to detect how soon social connection patterns affect memory if you’re studying people who are already in their 60s.

“By the time you’re measuring someone in their late 60s, decades of social connection patterns are already baked in,” he said.

Chronic loneliness has been linked to several health issues, including dementia, heart disease, depression, anxiety, Type 2 diabetes and an increased risk of stroke.

Brian Mullan, a licensed professional counselor with Thriveworks in Philadelphia, previously emphasized to HuffPost that it’s important to remember that we are “social animals, literally from birth.”

“It’s an innate, hardwired need we humans have,” he said.

Mullan recommended that people looking to address feelings of loneliness “explore resources in the community that are either free, or very low cost or local to you.”

He recommended finding activities you’re already interested in.

“Maybe things that you have always wanted to explore, but felt constrained from, I think that’s one great place to start,” he said.

Ask anyone who wears one — a good bra can change your life. And if you’ve struggled to find something supportive and comfortable, breathable and lifting, you’ll be happy to know, we’ve found one for you — and they start at under $20.

From the brand LetsJoli, this wire and seamless bra is celebrated for its full coverage, wide straps, supportive sides with extra hooks that prevent “spilling” and inclusive size range, i.e., every color option is available in S-5XL. Yet, the crowning achievement of this “small miracle” is its lifting ability, keeping “very saggy boobs,” not just in place, but “perky” — you heard us right.

Whether aging, menopause, childbirth, hormonal changes or simply your natural body has your chest hanging a little low, reviewers say this is the dreamy bra is the one to have in your drawer.

If your girls have started “looking toward the floor,” reviewers say the fabric and cut will take them “from sagging to standing up.”

If you haven’t seen it on HuffPost shopping, the “jelly bra” is a popular style that uses thick but malleable material for superior support, without suffocation. While some jelly styles are literally gel-infused, this option from LetsJoli features jelly-like strips sewn into the nylon-and-spandex blend, offering 360 degrees of responsive support. Pair this yummy fabric with the shape: supportive sides, generous, adjustable straps, lots of eye-hooks, you’re looking at a one-and-done buy to keep the “girls” right where you want them.

“At this stage of life, and after losing a lot of weight, I need a bra to do more than just show up,” a shopper, who wear a L said. “I need it to smooth things over, be supportive, and simply contain, while avoiding turning my sides and back into a public event. Happily, this bra understood the assignment.”

Another reviewer in their 80s says their size S bra is approved for those with “sagging and crappy skin.” “This bra not only fits perfect but it holds the skin in place so I don’t have ‘overhang,’” they said.

Fans say the bra itself and the breast-lifting support are so comfortable, “I didn’t need to rush and take it off immediately when I got home.”

“I can’t believe this bra! It’s truly a miracle bra that had to be designed by women!!” A reviewer with self-described “very saggy boobs,” who wears an XL said. “It also causes my back to be more supported too…My ribs don’t want to subluxation nor do I have any chest wall pain! Iykyk.”

Another, who wears an XL, calls it “a wireless bra WITH SUPPORT for well-endowed ladies!” “I’m no longer sagging, with a painful back,” they said.

Others say the call lifting feature is “transformative,” saying it “really improves your physical appearance!”

“The fabric is incredibly soft, but it still holds everything firmly and comfortably in place all day,” a reviewer who wears an L wrote. “No bra-band digging, no side spillover, no top spillover, and no constant tugging and adjusting. Just smooth lines, solid support, and a much-appreciated confidence boost.”

Because it doesn’t ride up or roll down, people even report wearing it around the house for comfort and even catching some Zzz’s in it.

“I always take off my bra as soon as I walk in the house and I love this bra so much I even slept with it on last night,” a reviewer who wears an XXL said. “I absolutely hate wearing a bra and definitely never sleep in one but I absolutely love this one and it feels great and just enough support for me!!!”

If you’re feeling skeptical about ordering a bra without a waist and cup size, we get it. Yet, thousands, and we mean thousands of shoppers, with all different sizes swear by this option for support, comfort and looking good.

“This is a supportive bra that actually feels comfortable all day, which I’ve never experienced before,” TMC, who wears a 42DDD and ordered an XXL wrote. “I had to go off my own measurements and their size chart. My overbust is 51 inches and my underbust is 38 inches. I wasn’t confident, so I ordered two sizes to be safe — a 42D and a 2XL. This one is the 2XL, and it is hands down the winner.”

“I used to love a bra that was discontinued — it was the best I’d ever owned —until I bought this one,” a reviewer who wears a S said. ”…It flatters my figure beautifully, leaving no unsightly bulges or lines visible on my body. It’s wire-free, yet it makes my breasts look gorgeous and firm without needing any extra padding. I won’t have to struggle to find a good bra ever again.”

Another reviewer, who wears an XL calls the bra “no joke.” “I FEEL LIKE A SUPER WOMAN!! ✨️🦸♀️,” they wrote. “Thank you Jesus FINALLY a bra that supports me. I could sleep in this thing!! It makes you feel like you can do anything 🥹🤣👏🏻.”

Myriad reviews name it the best bra ever, and a welcome surprise after decades of ill-fitting and uncomfortable undergarments.

“It literally feels like I have nothing on, like a second skin, no exaggeration at all,” TMC said. “But at the same time, ‘my girls’ are fully supported.”

This full-coverage, seamless bra may be your new favorite purchase for a good lift and coverage. Read more 5-star reviews and grab one for under $20.

“Move over, Indiana Jones, because I have found the holy grail! I am an average-sized woman, 5′5″ and 135 pounds, but I am heavy-breasted (C cup) and I’m also a senior citizen who breast fed her baby many years ago. I have been searching for years for a bra that fits, is comfortable, and supports my poor saggy girls. This bra is IT! It is so soft I barely know I’m wearing it, but the girls feel quite protected and secure in it. I bought 2 of these bras to see if they fit. I love them so much that I just ordered 2 more. HIGHLY recommended for full-figured ladies of a certain age looking for support and comfort.” — Kathleen, Size L

“I am an 83 year old lady and due to a diatary change over the last few months I lost weight and have to buy new bras. I have ordered several different styles and this bra is wonderful. Unlike the young women in the videos I have sagging and crappy skin to deal with and this bra not only fits perfect but it holds the skin in place so I don’t have ‘overhang’ it remains to be seen how they hold up after many washings but I would recommend this bra to all older women. I am now 5’3 and 118 pounds. I purchased a size S.” — Carol from Michigan

“I have been wearing nothing but cotton sleep t-shirt/tank style bras since Covid. Fruit of the loom brand to be exact. I thought I would never find a ‘real’ bra that I could tolerate again. I have tried many over the years and just couldn’t find anything that didn’t irritate me in some way. I had for about the past year stopped trying new bras because every supposedly super comfortable bra I gave a try just failed miserably. Well, I decided to go out on a limb again recently and I tried one of these and after going half the day and suddenly realizing I hadn’t been bothered by boob/bra related discomfort one time and I was actually more comfortable than I normally am in my sleep bras because of the added support I ordered 6 more of these! If you have sensory issues or are sensitive to bras in general I’d recommend this to anyone – this is by far the most comfortable bra I have worn in my life!” — R2D2, Size 5XL.

“I love this bra. I was skeptical about ordering a wireless bra off the internet, but this is the bees knees. A friend recommended this to me, and I’m so glad she did. As a bigger girl, I’ve struggled to find a comfortable bra that doesn’t make me look saggy. The straps are wide, the sides are wide, and the material is soft. And the best part is, it actually lifts. I also like how you can adjust the strap all the way, unlike some bras. It doesn’t dig, cut, or ride up my back. I can’t even tell I’m wearing it. New favorite for sure!” — Ash, Size XXL

“I have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and having anything around my ribs is torture! I also have very saggy boobs. I can’t believe this bra! It’s truly a miracle bra that had to be designed by women!! It also causes my back to be more supported too. My boobs stay in place and ‘perky’. I can even sleep with it and don’t worry about rolling over on my boobs!! The straps are very comfortable and stay in place. My ribs don’t want to subluxation nor do I have any chest wall pain! Iykyk. I can’t recommend this bra enough!!” — Charlee Bear, Size XL

“Best Bra Ever (Especially for Older Women). Unless it’s a brand and size I’ve purchased before, I don’t usually buy bras online for fear of getting something that doesn’t fit; however, I took the risk in buying this bra. After reading the positive reviews and also how it is designed for older women, I felt like it was worth the gamble in ordering. Believe me when I say, it definitely was worth it! Not only is this bra comfortable, but it is very supportive, especially for someone like myself with sagging breasts. My husband agreed that wearing the bra made me look much more supported than the ones I’d been wearing, which were comfortable to wear, but allowed me to look much too saggy. If you have any hesitation about ordering this bra, I encourage you to give it a try because you won’t be sorry. My breasts haven’t looked like this in a long time, and it’s all thanks to this bra. I’m an extremely happy customer!!!” — Cindy S. Shackelford, Size M

“I’ve been looking for a bra like this for years! Finally something designed for the senior lady. So soft and comfy, the cups give excellent support and shape. No more saggy titties!” —Gardencatbj, Size XXL

And if you’re in the market for more wardrobe upgrades, check out these 2026 HuffPost Shopping Award-winning style items currently on sale. Be sure to peep the exclusive codes for all the savings.

The Real Deal: We use deal trackers and commerce experience to sift through “fake” hike-and-drop deals and other deceptive sales tactics. Products will usually be rated at least 4 stars with a minimum 15% discount. (And when there’s an exception, we’ll tell you why.)

As the weather warms, you might be ready to swap your winter coats and boots for short sleeves and sandals. While every body is a “beach body,” if you’re dealing with unwanted crepey, saggy or scaly areas, you may be looking for products to make you feel a little more confident and comfortable when showing some skin. Enter: Alpha Skin Care’s Revitalizing Body Lotion.

Created with exfoliating glycolic alpha hydroxy acid (AHA), hydrating glycerin and skin softening lanolin, this fragrance-free, daily lotion is helping reviewers smooth and soothe their dry, crepey skin, making them excited to wear the warm-weather clothes they want. Even better? According to our price trackers (and the Alpha Skin website), it usually goes for $22, meaning it’s currently 15% off, the lowest price it’s been in weeks.

Reviewers call it “magic in a bottle,” a formula that brings “50-year-old skin back to looking and feeling like a 20-year-old” per on reviewer. (Spoiler alert: it’s the exfoliating glycolic AHA.)

While looking like you’re from a different decade may be pure hyperbole, the efficacy of the 12% glycolic AHA is not. It’s a chemical exfoliant that works by nixing dull, dead skin cells and promoting new cell growth. Not only does this process make space for new skin cells to thrive, but the brand says it also boosts collagen production — something Board-Certified Dermatologist Dr. Robyn Gmyrek backed up in previous reporting.

In addition to exfoliating and collagen boosting, the cream is filled with rich emollients to keep skin moisturized, supple and soft. Reviewers say the smoothing and softening effects are incredible, beating out other skincare they’ve tried.

“I’d been using a retinol-based lotion on my body for quite a while, but hadn’t really seen much in the way of results for smoothing and hydrating my skin,” a reviewer said (who credits the cream for making their skin look 30 years younger). ”…Age happens to us all and [my skin] wasn’t as firm and plump as it had been. This lotion has corrected both of those problems to a degree that is really shocking.”

“I could tell an immediate difference after the first time I put it on,” another wrote. ”…It took away that crepey, alligator skin I had on my hands and legs. My skin is SO SOFT, and my legs have such a nice glow after I put on this lotion.”

“I bought the product because at age 62, I have crepey and sagging skin on my upper arms,” reviewer KatM said, calling the lotion the “best so far for crepey saggy skin!!!” “I have used this for just TWO days and my arms are summer ready…I can wear sleeveless tops now!”

One user said they were dreading the heat, until they found this lotion, deeming it “crepey skin gone.”

A reviewer in their 70s, who “thought that my days of wearing skirts, shorts and sleeveless tops were over,” says the cream is opening up their wardrobe options, too. “I have worn short skirts this summer with confidence,” they wrote. ”…I have worn sleeveless shirts this summer for the first time in several years.”

A return customer calls it “pure gold” for tacking crepey skin on their arms and legs. “The moisturizer keeps the skin plump, and the glycolic acid will penetrate the skin and produce more collagen,” they said. “My once dry legs feel soft and smooth now. This was a repurchase for me after using up the first bottle. And I plan to continue buying it.”

This on-sale glycolic alpha-hydroxy acid lotion is a summer must-have for reviewers with crepey skin. Read more 5-star reviews and grab some for yourself before the price goes back up.

“I bought the product because at age 62 – I have crepey and sagging skin on my upper arms. I have used this for just TWO days and my arms are summer ready. I wish I’d take a ‘before’ pic of my upper arms and after just one day of using this lotion. I can wear sleeveless tops now! I get so warm in the building that I work in. I had to find something anything to reduce/eliminate the ugly aged look of my arms. I was almost going to consider a TV informercial type; has a regime of many different products that purport to work together – at a very high price! If I were to list the different products that I’ve tried (and failed) to eliminate my crepey saggy skin – it would number in double digits. I have no idea the ‘why’ of how it works for me – it just does – at a very decent price! Thank you!” — KatM

″…I am an active 71 year old woman from Kansas and after years of sun exposure and dry winters, I thought that my days of wearing skirts, shorts and sleeveless tops were over…For me, this lotion (actually more like a cream) brought about amazing results. Within a few days after using it, my legs had improved at least 70% and after using it for 3 months, the spots have also markedly diminished. I have worn short skirts this summer with confidence. The cream, has also eliminated the bumps on the back of my arms and improved the crepey texture under my arms too. I have worn sleeveless shirts this summer for the first time in several years. This is the first summer in a long time that I haven’t gone around greasy from petroleum jelly-which really didn’t work anyway. I now use this on my whole body after showering including my face and hands and it has helped diminish brown spots everywhere…” — Linda Schmitt [This review has been shortened for length, read the whole thing here.]

“Omg..is all I can say.. im 56 and have been struggling with horrible crepey arms,..the crepey stuff under the arms near the tricep area. I tried every, I kid you not,..I am soooo happy I found this,..its cheap too …I rarely leave reviews, but because as a woman, I know hoe much our arms can really bother us, I wanted other women to know there is hope,. I have been using it for 2 weeks now, at night after I shower 3 times a week,..but from the first time I used it I saw immediate results,..I wish I had taken pictures ..my arms where bad, like it happened over night, I was so mad and was not happy about the warmer weather coming...and I work out..anyway,…get It!!!…its worth it all day long…I understand certain things work differently for certain people but I think it’s definitely worth the try,..I was definitely a sun worshiper in my younger days…im half Italian/dominican so I do and did tan well, but boy I paid the price….I hope this helps some of you girls looking for some help,..I also use Eucerin Advanced repair cream as just a regular” — Lisa v mello

The Real Deal: We use deal trackers and commerce experience to sift through “fake” hike-and-drop deals and other deceptive sales tactics. Products will usually be rated at least 4 stars with a minimum 15% discount. (And when there’s an exception, we’ll tell you why.)

We seem to have reached peak “get off my lawn” culture, with men having temper tantrums all over the damn place. Whether they’re typing shrill all-caps messages, foaming at the mouth with road rage or aggressively punching holes in your drywall, men seem to be angrier than ever. And with a “boys will be boys” cultural mindset that provides a free pass on bad behavior to men well into their final decades, it’s hard to know when, or if, these antics will ever end.

Would it make you feel any better to know that there’s not only a possible medical reason, but even an accepted syndrome designation, for this way many men have of interacting with the world?

Maybe not, but the term “irritable male syndrome” does exist, and in the two decades since it was coined, it’s become accepted in medical and psychological circles. While not a clinical diagnosis, experts say it’s an accurate description of a cluster of symptoms that often appears in aging men.

“Along with the term ‘andropause,’ which refers to male menopause, it’s a useful shorthand for describing what happens to men through gradual testosterone decline and hormonal changes,” said Dr Justin Houman, assistant professor of urology at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.

According to Houman, the most common symptoms are:

• Mood changes, including irritability, lower motivation and feelings of depression
• Cognitive changes, like difficulty concentrating or memory lapses
• Low energy and fatigue that isn’t explained by poor sleep alone
• Reduced libido and fewer spontaneous erections
• Loss of muscle mass and strength despite regular exercise
• Increased body fat, particularly around the midsection
• Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or poor-quality rest

These symptoms don’t happen overnight, he said. “Male hormonal decline is gradual, with testosterone levels peaking in the late teens to early 20s, remaining relatively stable through the 30s, and starting to decline by about 1% per year after age 40. Most men start noticing symptoms like those listed above between 40 and 60, though lifestyle, chronic illness and genetics can accelerate or delay onset.”

The term “irritable male syndrome” (IMS) was coined in 2001 by Dr. Gerald Lincoln, a Scottish scientist known for his work in endocrinology and reproductive biology. He was researching testosterone levels in sheep when he observed a correlation between declining testosterone levels and increased irritability and aggression in rams after the mating season. He observed similar behaviors in other males when their testosterone levels dropped, eventually identifying the syndrome in red deer, reindeer and even Indian elephants.

As years passed, the term was picked up by psychologists and men’s health experts to describe similar emotional and behavioral patterns they were observing in human men, particularly in relation to age-related testosterone decline or stress-induced hormonal shifts.

Psychotherapist and author Dr. Jed Diamond has written the books “Irritable Male Syndrome” and “Mister Mean: Saving Your Relationship From The Irritable Male Syndrome.” He described IMS this way: “It’s a state of hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustration and anger that occurs in males that’s associated with biochemical changes, hormonal fluctuations, stress and loss of male identity. While it does usually occur in men later in life, I’ve seen men in their 20s or 30s, who have poor diets, high stress and other factors, can also experience IMS.”

We react differently to this syndrome because it’s more likely to “sneak up” on those who have it and those who love them, said coaching psychologist James Davis. “The hormonal changes of women’s menopause happen in a relatively narrow window of time, but with age-related testosterone decline, it can be more of a ‘slow drip’ rather than a sudden moment. This means symptoms can often be passed off as being caused by aging, stress or a combination of both.”

While hormonal changes might jump-start IMS, other factors can play a role, Davis said. “Those hormonal changes make men more anxious, which in turn can lead to irritability. There can be a crisis of self-identity that comes from declining physical performance, loss of muscle and lowered libido. When you overlay the stresses of managing a career, finances and relationships, plus the state of the world in general, you can see that many factors could make a man more irritable. Then add in broken sleep, a lack of experience or framework for expressing vulnerability or issues and increasing social isolation, and you can see how multiple factors can pile up to impact an individual.”

Israel Cassol is a podcaster who began trying to raise awareness of “male menopause” after he was diagnosed with the condition shortly after turning 40. He told the New York Post, “I was hesitant to share such intimate details of my life, but I needed to know if this was an issue others were facing. I couldn’t believe the response I received from men describing similar symptoms I had suffered from.”

These days, he still promotes issues of men’s health, offering this advice to HuffPost: “Men shouldn’t see this as a weakness or something shameful. It’s a natural part of life for many, and talking about it helps break the stigma around men’s emotional health. The sooner we recognize what’s going on, the sooner we can take steps to improve things, and that makes a huge difference not just for men, but for their families and relationships, too.”

Diamond said that the first step should be a doctor’s appointment: “I’d say that any man over 45 who is experiencing these symptoms consistently should see their doctor for a blood test to check testosterone levels.”

What happens if those levels are low?

“There are effective lifestyle adjustments men can make to boost levels naturally, and there is also the option of testosterone replacement therapy, which is something that requires careful consideration,” Davis said.

What to do if a loved one seems like a likely candidate for IMS? Besides that medical evaluation, Diamond mentioned, Houman suggested encouraging healthy lifestyle changes like more balanced nutrition, regular exercise, good sleep hygiene and reduced stress. “Keep communication open and non-judgmental, and seek counseling if a relationship strain develops,” he said.

It’s important to demonstrate compassion for this issue, Davis explained. “You need to realize that this isn’t a personality change per se, but is likely a result of hormonal changes that affect behavior, emotion, cognition and even how that person shows up in the world,” he added.

He also said that this is an issue that needs more attention. “We need to bring andropause out into the open so that both men and women can appreciate what’s going on with male hormones and psychology at this time of life. Midlife men are the highest suicide cohort, with a rate almost five times that of women of all ages, so the issue is significant and we shouldn’t marginalize it by questioning its existence or attempting to downplay it,” Davis added.

Finally, Cassoll offered this encouragement: “Patience and understanding are very important, because men going through this phase don’t always realize what’s happening to them. It helps if loved ones encourage healthier habits and also create space for honest conversations without judgment. Suggesting a medical check-up can be really helpful, because it reassures the man that he’s not ‘going crazy,’ and that there are ways to feel better.”

The original version of this story was published on HuffPost at an earlier date.

I hired a sex worker for my 70th birthday because I was terrified of crossing the border into the land of the elderly.

I wasn’t scared of dying; I accept that inevitability. In fact, I feel very fortunate to have done so many laps. No, I was afraid of not living and scared of fading away. I wasn’t willing to saunter into that ghostly world of the aging. I needed a rocket launch — something to reboot me awake.

The options came down to hiring an escort or jumping out of a plane. Although the thought of disrobing this aging, flabby body in front of a man in his 40s was frightening, it seemed the safer choice. Like so many other older folks, I had osteopenia, and hurtling through the air at a rapid speed with a man strapped to my back might be taking too much of a risk for my bones.

Seeking out an escort meant I was not only taking a risk physically and emotionally, but also financially. One of my passions in life was overseas travel, and the $1900 investment in a hotel room and three hours with an escort could have bought me a plane ticket. I knew how to organize a trip abroad, but I had no idea how to find an escort. When in doubt, google.

Swiping through endless photos of semi-naked men draped over beds — and young enough to be my grandson — was disheartening. I nearly changed my mind and googled parachuting. But after adjusting the filter to a higher price range, I found Mitch. Although there was the obligatory bare-chested photo, he had a reassuring video explaining his process and acknowledging how challenging it is for a woman to hire an escort for the first time. And he was in his 40s — closer to the age of a son than a grandson. That felt more palatable.

My request to Mitch was straightforward: an erotic massage and an orgasm, which he promised he could deliver. Unfortunately, there ended up being nothing in our three hours together that was vaguely sensually or sexually arousing. I was afraid I would fall asleep from boredom, with his head resting on my shoulder like a child. In the end, I asked him to leave 20 minutes early. I told him it wasn’t working, and he said he was “devastated.”

I emailed him the next morning and asked for a refund. He responded a few minutes later to tell me that he had transferred the money back to my account. Looking back, I think Mitch got stuck in his own narrative that older women wanted a “boyfriend experience,” which he explained as a kiss, a cuddle and a chat. Although I reiterated what I wanted and he reassured me he was happy to deliver, we both knew the transaction was unsatisfactory.

I bookmarked the funds for another escort. After all, I don’t give up after one bad Tinder date. I slid back into the warm pond of my content single life working as a psychologist in private practice, and I went on an overseas holiday. I packed away the memory of that night with Mitch in a dark corner of my mind — more as something forgettable than regrettable. If I am honest, I think it was also to silence that little voice inside me that goadingly whispered, Who are you kidding — a 70-year-old woman with a man in his 40s?

A few months later, I was surprised to learn that the Sydney Morning Herald had agreed to publish an essay I wrote about Mitch. I initially considered using a pseudonym, mainly for professional reasons, but also because I had noticed the uncomfortable, embarrassed silence in the room when I told a few friends and family, which made me a little hesitant to disrobe myself emotionally and physically in front of strangers. But I knew this story was more about claiming my voice and asking for what I wanted than about hiring an escort, and that story needed my name.

I was humbled by the number of people who personally reached out to me and was surprised to be called “brave,” a word I reserved for people who rescued children from burning houses. Most of the anonymous online comments were supportive, but there were a few that were scathing, which I assume were from men: “get a dog,” “poor man,” “he was doing his best, look what he had to work with.”

Those comments ignited a fire in my belly. By telling me I didn’t have the right to ask for sensual and sexual pleasure at “my age,” they made me more determined to hire another escort.

I thought of the moth that flew out of my diaphragm years ago, like a rebuke reminding me I had abandoned my sexual self and left her dusty and forgotten under my bathroom sink. This time, I was the moth, back in the light, ready to flap my wings. No one was going to push me back into the dark.

I didn’t need to google my way through pictures of men with bulging body parts this time. I had a referral from a woman in her mid-60s who had read my essay and recommended Chris, someone she had seen six times. I was ready to relaunch.

My session with Chris was satisfying in so many ways — not just physically. Though I usually feel safer being in charge, I was able to let him take the lead, and I found I could ask for what I wanted and accepted that I didn’t need to please anyone but myself. That alone was a blast onto another planet. Of course, the orgasm helped, but it wasn’t just that; it was letting go of pleasing others, finding my voice and being in my body the way I wanted to be in it. The experience was truly radical for me.

I wrote other essays about Mitch and Chris for Oldster Magazine, and there were more opportunities for podcasts and essays in The New York Times, The Times UK, ABC, Irish TV and radio. I had touched a nerve; I was out in the world, and that is where the real story begins.

However, before I get into that, I want to put the sex worker episode into context. I am single and never married by choice. I have enjoyed a smorgasbord of relationships — some wonderful, some not — but by my mid-40s, it was as if the music had stopped in a game of musical chairs. I had a chair, but everyone else had chosen a partner and gone home.

In my 50s, I started using dating apps on and off, which was mostly enjoyable. But, by the time I was 65, I was bored with the sluggish fish left in the pond, tired of feeling like I was auditioning to fill the gap of the beloved dead wife or to offer my services as a “cuddle buddy,” which was how one man 15 years older described what he was looking for. No thanks. Enough dating.

As my 70th birthday loomed, not only was I looking into a world of being invisible, but I saw a future where I would never be touched sensually or sexually again — one where I never felt desired and never saw myself as desirable. As a psychologist, I know touch is a primary human need — the foundation of our physical and mental health — and it was this vision of a life devoid of touch that blasted me out of my comfort zone and got me googling escorts.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think taking off my clothes and looking for an orgasm with a stranger in a costly hotel room would lead me into a new world that felt intimate and public at the same time, or that I’d be joining a vibrant chorus of voices demanding to be heard, celebrating our minds and bodies as we age, unwilling to run or hide while resisting the stories we have been told about getting older.

These stories tell women that desirability, sexuality, sensuality and relevance have an expiration date, often after menopause, or sadly long before. These stereotypes are so deeply ingrained that we hold on to them as if they are true and inevitable, not imagined and constructed, often passing them on to our daughters and granddaughters.

In my clinical work, I hear mothers despairing that their tweens are being marketed anti-aging creams. A client in her late 20s reported having a facelift after noticing a wrinkle. I’ve also heard a mother gave her daughter Botox for her 21st birthday, and that women leaving long-term relationships were despairing because men on dating sites were seeking partners the age of their daughters. It’s no surprise that 92% of cosmetic surgery clients are women, and they seem to be in a desperate race to save themselves from aging, as if it were a preventable disease.

As we cross the bridge into the land of the elderly, the message is to shrink, step aside, take up less space. As women, not only are we less desirable but also less relevant. The one exception is grandparenting — a continuation of the mothering role.

It is painful to admit that as I aged, I found it challenging meeting clients older than me, perhaps because I fell prey to those unconscious prejudices that “old” clients would be less interesting, less open to change and less curious. Perhaps the real reason was that I was afraid to confront my own fears reflected in their eyes: loneliness, sadness, regret and urgency that time was running out. Maybe it felt safer not to look.

But I am ready to face that fear now. Yes, there are fewer years in front of me than behind me, but this life is a gift and a privilege. It is urgent, and now I am more motivated than scared. There’s no more time to stand back, to wait, and I am ready to claim my place, my power, my voice, and my wisdom with others in my tribe.

I had imagined I would reboot my body by hiring an escort. While that physical touch did wake something up in me, the real awakening came from being seen and heard through my articles and podcasts — my thoughts, my ideas and my experience mattered. I had opened a door and found the confidence and the spark I needed to restory the rest of my life.

Restorying is a concept I have embraced for decades in my therapeutic work with individuals and groups. It is based on the idea that, as individuals, our lives are constructed by the stories we learn about ourselves from our families and our culture. Some of these stories are helpful; they inspire us and move us forward. Others shame us, hold us back and keep us small.

Restorying is a process of reframing, rewriting, reclaiming our stories, and choosing the ones we wish to live by. The real story lies not in what happened to us, but in how we make sense of it. If we dare to look at the events and stories in our lives with curiosity and without judgment, we can reframe and integrate them to restory a life that is our own, not the version others constructed for us.

By telling, retelling and rewriting and having conversations about my 70th birthday story, I am reframing my past and my future, propelling myself forward into a story that is mine — a story not about the escorts, not about what happened in the tangled sheets, but about daring to find my voice, to ask for what I wanted without trying to please others.

And now, instead of shrinking and disappearing, I am expanding with every conversation. As I peel another layer off, I discover something new about myself and the world, and recognize how my assumptions and old narratives continue to limit me. This experience of “coming out” is turning out to be one of the most exciting trips I have ever been on. I’ve honestly never felt so alive.

Anyone can pause and restory their lives at any age. We don’t need to jump out of airplanes or hire escorts. We can learn to trust our voice and ask for what we want in our relationships with a partner, a friend or a work colleague; take a risk and try something new; learn something new; push our bodies; push our minds. We don’t need to do it alone — we can join a tribe and ask for support.

It takes courage to name the stories we are still holding on to about being small, not worthy, not lovable, but once we do, they lose their power over us. By trusting ourselves and taking one risk and then another, we wake ourselves up — one breath at a time.

After decades as a psychologist listening to other people’s stories, I realized how quietly I had disappeared from my own. It is scary to be breaking boundaries I have held for so long about nondisclosure as a therapist, and choosing to show up as a vulnerable, flawed human being. Perhaps that is the gift and the beauty of aging: My time is now because there is no more time to wait. I can take the risk or stay silent. I am loving conversations that debunk the myth of the wise therapist and thrilled to be joining everyone else in this wild, messy ride that is life.

Though these conversations are exciting and hopeful for me, I also have feelings of sadness and regret. As I dare to see myself and be seen, there is pain. I see missed opportunities and stories that held me back. I wish my 30-year-old self had known about this agency and the power I now know I have. I wish I could tell her that she is enough; her body is beautiful, she is lovable, and she doesn’t need to keep pleasing others to earn love. But I know she wasn’t ready to hear that back then. I like to imagine she would be thrilled to see me dancing — not shuffling — into the land of people fortunate enough to experience the adventure and challenges of aging.

In fact, my story is far from over. I continue to seek out adventures that connect me to touch. I have booked three sessions with a female tantric healer in the hope of getting closer to my fantasy of a state of body and mind free from all physical and mental constraints. I want to be suspended for a moment in space — vibrating and humming like hundreds of Tibetan bells — as another layer peels off of me.

Gail Rice is a Canadian-born, Sydney-based psychologist and writer whose work explores aging, desire and reinvention. Her essays have appeared internationally, and she has been featured on many podcasts, including The New York Times’ “Modern Love.” She is a contributor to the forthcoming anthology “More Than a MILF: Sex and the Aging Female Body” and is currently writing a memoir.

Do you have a compelling personal story you’d like to see published on HuffPost? Find out what we’re looking for here and send us a pitch at pitch@huffpost.com.

Comedian Howie Mandel’s recent quip about how he received a compliment about his looks had the internet talking ― and a therapist says it sheds light on a vital consideration when commenting on someone else’s appearance.

During an appearance on “Live with Kelly and Mark” last week, host Mark Consuelos congratulated Mandel on his 70th birthday when host Kelly Ripa chimed in, “It doesn’t make any sense.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t make any sense?” Mandel asked, while both Ripa and Consuelos hurriedly told the comedian that he “looks great.”

“I look great? That doesn’t mean anything,” Mandel replied while pointing at the hosts. “No. No. No. No. I don’t like that, because that’s a caveat!”

The hosts were only saying he looked “great” because of his age, Mandel explained, although Ripa insisted otherwise. “It’s like saying you’re smart for a stupid person,” he added.

Mandel and the hosts went back and forth and exchanged a few laughs before Mandel finally conceded that he is “gorgeous.”

Mandel later posted a video of himself on Instagram clarifying that he was joking with Ripa, despite social media commenters saying the on-air moment felt awkward and tense.

“Philosophically, I don’t believe … somebody who’s a comedian needs to apologize for a joke,” he said in the video. “But this is for Kelly Ripa, who in the past has been incredibly supportive … it is a joke, it is meant as a joke and it’s not meant to offend.”

“Sometimes, as a comedian, things don’t land the way you mean them to land,” he later said. Mandel then said he was “sorry to Kelly,” and teasingly said that after “self-reflection,” he has come to terms with the fact that he looks great for his age.

“I look fantastic, and I just have to embrace the fact that I look this good,” he said.

Many people in the comments section of Mandel’s post responded playfully. Michael Gelman, executive producer of “Live with Kelly and Mark,” teased: “During these divided times, one thing we can all agree upon is that you do look great … for your age.”

While Mandel has since clarified that his banter with the hosts was in good fun, the moment sparked a lot of debate on social media about giving compliments, as well as the enduring question: Should we compliment people for looking good for their age?

While such praise may be well-intentioned, Alexandra Cromer, a licensed professional counselor with Thriveworks, cautioned that it’s understandable that someone might feel offended by that type of compliment.

“This specific compliment is very reductionist in nature; it posits that the person defies some negatively stereotyped norm for what others believe that they ‘should’ look like as they age,” she told HuffPost. “It also can be received as offensive because of the modifier ‘for our age.’ When we compliment someone, we want it to be direct and not seemingly dependent on other factors (age, gender, etc.).”

“Someone can interpret this as negative, reductionist, and a sort of limiting belief system that one holds and then are trying to assign to someone else,” she continued.

“You should be very cautious, sensitive, and consider your reasons for commenting on someone’s looks,” Cromer said, noting that you can’t always control how your compliment about someone’s appearance will be received by the other person.

“In current society, there is a lot of indirect and direct pressure on people of all ages to achieve a ‘beauty standard’; and often, that standard is very difficult to reach and even more difficult to maintain,” she said.

Cromer added that she counsels her clients through a thought process when considering whether to comment on someone’s appearance or their age. She’ll have them ask themselves about their intentions in making the comment in the first place.

For instance, if you want to communicate to someone that they look “very healthy and happy,” it might be best to just say that directly, Cromer explained.

“There is a tremendous societal pressure to look youthful,” Cromer said. “This can and often does have a negative impact on self-esteem and self-image [on someone] as they age.”

Cromer said that society communicates to people that they lose value as they age.

“We are taught that to age means to lose value because you’re losing ‘beauty,’” she said, adding that youth is often associated with the “ideal beauty standard.”

“While aging is a natural, normal process that we all will go through, it’s packaged as something to be afraid of and to avoid,” she continued. “This can cause significant fear, anxiety and even self-criticism of your physical appearance as you age.”

Cromer said that if you’re looking for a way to offer someone else a “positive, non-offensive compliment” about their appearance, it’s best to be direct and avoid qualifications — which might include mentioning a person’s age.

She said it’s a good idea to ask yourself: “What do I hope the recipient of my compliment feels/receives/takes away from this interaction?”

So, if you want to compliment someone for looking healthy, for example, Cromer recommends you focus on just communicating that.

Simply saying “You look great!” or “You look so strong!” will do the trick.

There are many important factors to consider when thinking about healthy aging, not the least of which is fall risk.

One in four adults over 65 falls each year, according to Centers for Disease Control data, and many of those people require hospitalization, medical attention or lifestyle changes due to injury.

“One of the biggest issues that we worry about as geriatricians in older adults is falls because they can cause a lot of injuries,” said Dr. Maureen Dale, an associate professor of geriatric medicine at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill School of Medicine.

Falls can cause hip fractures, vertebral fractures or worse, all of which can hugely impact day-to-day life for older adults, she added. “And so preventing falls is really important in our patients as we age, and one of the best ways to prevent falls is to make sure people have good balance.”

This is particularly important for post-menopausal women who may have low bone density, said Dr. James F. Wyss, a spine and sports medicine physiatrist at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York.

“Lots of times, the focus on preventing a fracture is addressing bone density and strength training. But the greatest way to prevent a fracture is to prevent a fall,” Wyss said. “Sure, it’s great if you can get your bones stronger through strength training or a medication, but if you don’t fall, you’ve eliminated the risk altogether.”

Being able to balance for a few seconds is fine, but research shows that adults should be able to balance for longer. Here’s what to know.

“People should be able to stand on one foot for about 10 seconds and be able to hold their balance,” Dale said. “If they can’t do that, that’s worth talking to their primary care provider or physician about to think about things that they can do.”

There are often medical interventions that can improve balance, she noted.

While 10 seconds is the goal, the longer you can balance — even up to 30 seconds — the better, noted Janice McGrail, a physical therapist at Mass General Brigham’s Spaulding Rehabilitation.

Research shows that if you can’t balance for 10 seconds, you’re at a higher risk of falls, according to Wyss. And if you can’t hold your balance for five seconds, you are at an even higher fall risk.

Being unable to stay steady on one leg can also be a sign of other medical issues.

“Sometimes it’s just that people have a little bit of weakness in their leg muscles and need to work on an exercise program or a physical therapy program that focuses on strengthening those leg and core muscles that help support our balance,” Dale said.

Stability issues may be caused by medications, Dale noted. Certain vitamin deficiencies can also be the culprit, Dale added, such as a vitamin B12 deficiency.

“And then sometimes we find that people have sensory changes, so decreased sensation in their feet and legs that can impact their balance as well,” Dale noted.

Your doctor can help determine the cause of your balance issues and work with you toward a solution.

“There are a lot of things that we can do to help support and promote healthy balance in people. So that’s why the starting point really is talking to your primary care provider,” Dale explained.

It’s simple to start working on your balance — as long as your doctor says it’s safe to do so.

You can begin by building balance work into daily habits such as standing on one foot as you brush your teeth or as you wait for your lunch to heat up in the microwave, according to McGrail.

Depending on how steady you feel, you can also try standing with one foot in front of the other like you’re walking on balance beams.

It’s important to practice this safely so you don’t end up falling, McGrail said.

“When I’m giving someone an exercise to do at home for balance, I always tell them to stand at the kitchen counter [if you’re microwaving food] or at the sink counter if you’re brushing your teeth … so that you have something in front of you that you can hold on to if you need to,” McGrail said, adding that you should also put a chair behind you so that if you fall backwards, you “can just sit in the chair rather than ending up on the floor.”

If you aren’t ready to try standing on one foot, you can practice balancing by walking on your toes or heels throughout your house, Wyss said.

Folks who can easily balance on one leg while brushing their teeth or microwaving food can take it one step further and incorporate balance into their workout regimen, such as doing bicep curls while balancing on one foot, Wyss suggested.

“It’s 40s, 50s that I start tell people, ‘All right, start incorporating a little more balance training into your routine,’” Wyss explained.

Regular exercise three times a week is also a good way to improve and maintain your balance, according to Dale. Additionally, programs like tai chi, yoga and a physical therapy program known as Otago have been shown to also improve stability.

It’s never too late to work on your balance, McGrail stressed. As long as you’re up and moving, you can make small steps to improve it.

If you need support from a doctor or physical therapist, reach out and they can help prescribe you a safe balance-building program. Even if you’re not yet at an age where you worry much about balance, it’s still important to see your doctor regularly and manage any chronic medical issues that could contribute to balance issues down the road, Dale said.

“Making sure that we’re managing diabetes and heart disease and vascular disease are important things to keep us healthy now and to keep us healthy and well-balanced later,” Dale said.

A good lip treatment is a crucial part of a skin care routine, especially as you age. Lips are often one of the first things people notice. More importantly, when they feel uncomfortable, you notice them more. This is especially so if you deal with dry lips or notice that yours are a little more textured than you’re used to due to natural aging. In the spirit of improving our lip TLC, we spotted a hyaluronic acid plumping gloss that reviewers swear addresses signs of aging lips and delivers “spa-like” results at a steal of a price. Ahead of Amazon’s Big Spring Sale starting tomorrow, it’s already 23% off if you clip the on-page coupon, a solid deal for what reviewers call “a spa treatment for my lips” and even a Botox replacer.

You may be familiar with the $45 2025 HuffPicks beauty winner, Youthfull Lip Replenisher, for aging lips. Today, let us raise you the Suquato peptide lip treatment, also designed to fill out wrinkles and restore bounce — on sale for just $10 right now!

It boasts a 3-in-1 formula that can be used as an overnight mask, a single-layer plumping gloss or a lip gloss topper for lipstick — and per the reviews, this baby is highly effective.

“This stuff took 10 years off my lips in one night,” another reviewer raved.

“[I] put it on one night and in the morning I was shocked to see my lips were actually plump and juicy!”

“After one night my wrinkles were noticeably diminished,” reviewer L Quinn gushed about the plumping gloss.

“After a few nights, my upper lip was smooth. No more Botox needed in my lips!!”

Talk about product efficacy?!

Made with hyaluronic acid and a strong peptide complex, the versatile lip treatment hydrates and boosts collagen to lock in moisture and reduce fine lines. The added shea butter and vitamin E keep your mouth nourished and protect it from the elements.

“The texture is extremely smooth and velvety, feels so luxurious to apply and wear,” one review shared. “It creates a mild, pleasant kind of tingling sensation, which is nice for a little mental confirmation that it’s working but without being overbearing or uncomfortable at all.”

Some say it’s scentless, while others compliment the subtle smell, yet everyone seems to agree the formula is long-lasting and feels great. ” It’s sort of sticky without actually being sticky and it stays on for a long time instead of disappearing after 20 minutes like regular lip balm often does,” one wrote.

“Sticky enough that it lasts but not sticky enough to get my hair caught in it,” another said.

Last but not least, the other ingenious part about this lip plumping treatment is the design of the applicator tip.

Considering the 4.5-star rated Suquato peptide lip treatment but need to know a little more? Check more reviews below from people loving the formula.

“Best lip treatment ever. I am 68 years old with thinning lips resulting in feathering. I’ve tried pretty much EVERY lip treatment – plumper on the market with varying results from “ok” to none. I was therefore pretty skeptical when I ordered this product – but boy was I ever wrong! Results were instantaneous and lasting. Feathering diminished to nearly gone! I LOVE THIS PRODUCT and it has become a daily part of my self-care and make-up routine. I HIGHLY recommend you try it!” — Eileen M Johnson

“I’m happy with this lip mask and how it plumps my lips. I’m 64 years old and have noticed thinning especially of my upper lip along with vertical lines and wrinkles on both upper and lower lips. I didn’t think to take a before pic but the picture I have provided was taken approx. 1 hour after application of the lip mask.” — SLG

“This is a 5 star plus review.
I’ve tested this with
DHC
DRMTLGY
CWB
VASALINE
I’m 63 and try all skin products. This is the best lip mask that stays on and moisturize.” — Sunshine62

“I’m 65 and HAD small lines all across my top lip. A few years ago I resorted to getting two injections of Botox on my upper lip to smooth out the wrinkles. The Botox was wearing off when I decided to try this product. After one night my wrinkles were noticeably diminished. After a few nights my upper lip was smooth. No more Botox needed in my lips!!
Now I’m waiting for them to come out with a whole face serum!!” — L.Quinn

The Real Deal: We use deal trackers and commerce experience to sift through “fake” hike-and-drop deals and other deceptive sales tactics. Products will usually be rated at least 4 stars with a minimum 15% discount. (And when there’s an exception, we’ll tell you why.)

Side sleeping is arguably the comfiest position. At least, that’s what 69% of American adults think, according to a 2024 survey. If you’re in this camp, then you’ve probably been forewarned about the havoc it can — supposedly — wreak on your skin.

Crushing one side of your face into your pillow night after night is commonly blamed for causing wrinkles, sagging skin and even facial asymmetry. But given the internet’s history of demonizing things people love, it’s worth asking whether or not these claims are actually backed by science.

Unfortunately, research in this area is limited. A 2013 study published by the American Society for Dermatologic Surgery found no significant association between sleep position and wrinkles or facial sagging among 100 women. However, a 2016 review by the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery suggested that repeated facial compression during side or stomach sleeping may contribute to “sleep wrinkles” over time.

Board-certified dermatologist Dr. Shamsa Kanwal said that though there is some truth to this skin care lore, sleep position plays a relatively minor role in visible signs of aging.

“The myth is that side sleeping is a primary cause of sagging and wrinkles,” she explained. “The more realistic take is that it can add a small, localized effect, mainly sleep lines, while the big levers remain UV exposure, collagen loss with age, smoking and chronic inflammation.”

To put your fears of waking up wrinkled and lopsided to rest, we spoke to dermatologists and other experts to break down how side sleeping affects your skin and if it’s really worth it to switch positions.

Though they’re not technically “real” wrinkles, sleep lines do become more visible the older you get, thanks to a natural decline in skin’s elasticity. Your body produces less collagen and elastin — the proteins that give your skin its structural strength and flexibility — with age. The loss of both of these supportive fibers manifests clinically as wrinkles and sagging, according to a 2021 study in the International Journal of Molecular Sciences.

It also makes you more susceptible to compression wrinkles, another term for sleep lines.

“Younger skin rebounds quickly,” said board-certified dermatologist Dr. Marie Jhin. “With aging, the skin becomes less elastic and less extensible, has reduced regenerative capacity, and holds hydration less effectively. So a crease is more likely to persist and, with repetition, become ‘etched in.’”

According to both Jhin and Kanwal, those once-temporary morning creases tend to linger a little longer starting in your 30s and beyond. Repeated pressure and friction, combined with sideways pulling of the skin against a pillow, can result in vertical or diagonal lines on the cheek, temple and eye area of the side you sleep on most.

No skin care routine can completely stop the hands of time. But focusing on surface hydration and collagen stimulation before bed may reduce the appearance of sleep wrinkles by morning. As Kanwal put it, “Skin elasticity and hydration matter more than the [sleep] position itself because well-hydrated, resilient skin rebounds better after compression.”

Outside of a good moisturizer your skin tolerates, Jhin recommends slugging. This popular TikTok technique involves applying petroleum jelly to the skin before bed, which she said creates a physical barrier that helps prevent transepidermal water loss overnight.

Boosting your collagen production is more of a long-term game, and a nightly retinoid is the “best-studied topical agent” for doing so, according to Jhin. Tretinoin is her top choice.

Years of chronic pressure on one side of your face may affect how firm and supported the skin in that area appears over time. However, Jhin said that any imbalance from side sleeping is “usually subtle and often overstated.”

“In most people, side sleeping is one factor among many, and not the dominant one,” she explained. Outside of genetics, the major causes of facial asymmetry are posture, muscle dominance (like one-sided chewing), vision-related head tilting, and your bite alignment.

And while the placement of your teeth does influence your face’s overall shape, oral surgeon Dr. Jason Auerbach emphasized that side sleeping itself cannot change your bite.

“Your bite is dictated by teeth and bone,” he said. “A pillow is not moving teeth. What side sleeping can do is irritate a jaw that’s already prone to trouble. If you clench or grind or you already have TMJ sensitivity, putting pressure on one side all night can make it feel worse in the morning. That’s aggravation, not causation.”

Whatever effect side sleeping has on your skin, it isn’t enough to risk your eight hours. Kanwal describes quality rest as “one of the most visible skin habits” you can keep, and Jhin would much rather you sleep well on your side than “chase ‘perfect posture’ and sleep poorly.”

In fact, she said not getting enough shut-eye can actually make sleep lines look worse as poor sleep elevates cortisol and oxidative stress, accelerating signs of skin aging. That’s why experts say it’s better to sleep in whatever position you rest best in and focus on hydration, collagen support and minimizing friction overnight.

“Friction is the enemy,” Jhin explained, and cotton pillowcases create significant friction against the skin, causing it to grip and fold. Though Kanwal said there is “no magical material” that will eliminate compression wrinkles entirely, lower-friction surfaces like silk and satin are less abrasive.

Smaller tweaks like this matter more than major overhauls. Because when it comes to your skin, the best position is the one that lets you sleep well.

Ever had an exchange with someone in your circle that makes you feel like you sprouted a few more gray hairs?

You might not be totally imagining it.

A recent study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences this February found that those of us who have more people “who create problems or make life more difficult” in our lives (the researchers brand these types as “hasslers”) can be seen to have a higher age biologically than their true chronological age.

“Negative social ties, or ‘hasslers,’ are pervasive yet understudied components of social networks that may accelerate biological aging and morbidity,” the researchers wrote. “… Negative relationships are not rare within close relationships, as nearly 30% of individuals report having at least one hassler in their network.”

So, while you may be 35 on paper, the number of “hasslers” you encounter and negotiate with each day could have your body feeling mid-40s real quick — with researchers finding that an increased number of these “negative social ties” leads to “accelerated biological aging and a broad range of health outcomes” that can range from increased inflammation to having two or more chronic health conditions.

Not every “hassler” is created equal, however. Researchers noted that hasslers who are both kin and non-kin tend to show “detrimental associations,” while hasslers who are spouses do not. Hasslers who are your kin were associated with more intense age acceleration (1.1 year increase).

Meanwhile, the number of these negative social ties you have will also be a factor in how badly you’re hit: “Having more hasslers is associated with accelerated biological aging in both rate and cumulative burden: Each additional hassler corresponds to approximately 1.5% faster pace of aging and roughly 9 [months] older biological age.”

The researchers note that their findings reinforce what we already know about allostatic load, or the cumulative “wear and tear” people experience from navigating (and trying to adapt to) chronic stress and major life events.

The more “hasslers’ and stressful dynamics you have in your day-to-day life — particularly ones you can’t always walk away from — the more your stress-sensitive systems can get activated. That can lead to “systemic inflammation, epigenetic dysregulation and metabolic strain.”

The researchers note that exposure to these “hasslers” follows patterns that might be familiar if you’re aware of conditions that typically predict health vulnerabilities: “women, daily smokers, people in poorer health, and those with adverse childhood experiences [are] more likely to report having hasslers in their networks.” These are also demographics that are likely already facing their own allostatic load challenges.

The researchers further address how social relationships, while more typically discussed as “sources of support that promote health and well-being” in research like this, can also function as “chronic stressors” — and chronic stress is already considered “a well-established driver of biological aging.”

“A growing body of research suggests that negative ties — relationships characterized by hostility, strain, or excessive burden, making one’s life difficult— may be prevalent and have lasting health consequences,” per the researchers.

So while people like President Donald Trump might chronically stress you out with every headline that darkens your doorstep, he wouldn’t count as a hassler in your life. That distinction is reserved for more interpersonal relationships.

Researchers note that these negative social ties are also more likely to show up in dynamics that are less voluntary, harder to avoid or harder to step away from: “Ties that involve obligation, shared space, or interdependence (e.g., parents, children, coworkers, roommates) appear more likely to produce hasslers, whereas voluntary and self-selected ties (e.g., friends, church members, healthcare providers) tend to generate fewer,” according to the researchers.

“This dual nature of social ties — both protective and harmful — raises important questions about their role in biological aging and the pathogenesis of common morbidities,” per the study. “However, existing research relies on methods that capture only the positive dimensions of social relationships (e.g., social support), often overlooking negative or strained ties. As a result, there is comparatively little empirical insight into how the dark side of networks contributes to biological aging.”