I hired a sex worker for my 70th birthday because I was terrified of crossing the border into the land of the elderly.

I wasn’t scared of dying; I accept that inevitability. In fact, I feel very fortunate to have done so many laps. No, I was afraid of not living and scared of fading away. I wasn’t willing to saunter into that ghostly world of the aging. I needed a rocket launch — something to reboot me awake.

The options came down to hiring an escort or jumping out of a plane. Although the thought of disrobing this aging, flabby body in front of a man in his 40s was frightening, it seemed the safer choice. Like so many other older folks, I had osteopenia, and hurtling through the air at a rapid speed with a man strapped to my back might be taking too much of a risk for my bones.

Seeking out an escort meant I was not only taking a risk physically and emotionally, but also financially. One of my passions in life was overseas travel, and the $1900 investment in a hotel room and three hours with an escort could have bought me a plane ticket. I knew how to organize a trip abroad, but I had no idea how to find an escort. When in doubt, google.

Swiping through endless photos of semi-naked men draped over beds — and young enough to be my grandson — was disheartening. I nearly changed my mind and googled parachuting. But after adjusting the filter to a higher price range, I found Mitch. Although there was the obligatory bare-chested photo, he had a reassuring video explaining his process and acknowledging how challenging it is for a woman to hire an escort for the first time. And he was in his 40s — closer to the age of a son than a grandson. That felt more palatable.

My request to Mitch was straightforward: an erotic massage and an orgasm, which he promised he could deliver. Unfortunately, there ended up being nothing in our three hours together that was vaguely sensually or sexually arousing. I was afraid I would fall asleep from boredom, with his head resting on my shoulder like a child. In the end, I asked him to leave 20 minutes early. I told him it wasn’t working, and he said he was “devastated.”

I emailed him the next morning and asked for a refund. He responded a few minutes later to tell me that he had transferred the money back to my account. Looking back, I think Mitch got stuck in his own narrative that older women wanted a “boyfriend experience,” which he explained as a kiss, a cuddle and a chat. Although I reiterated what I wanted and he reassured me he was happy to deliver, we both knew the transaction was unsatisfactory.

I bookmarked the funds for another escort. After all, I don’t give up after one bad Tinder date. I slid back into the warm pond of my content single life working as a psychologist in private practice, and I went on an overseas holiday. I packed away the memory of that night with Mitch in a dark corner of my mind — more as something forgettable than regrettable. If I am honest, I think it was also to silence that little voice inside me that goadingly whispered, Who are you kidding — a 70-year-old woman with a man in his 40s?

A few months later, I was surprised to learn that the Sydney Morning Herald had agreed to publish an essay I wrote about Mitch. I initially considered using a pseudonym, mainly for professional reasons, but also because I had noticed the uncomfortable, embarrassed silence in the room when I told a few friends and family, which made me a little hesitant to disrobe myself emotionally and physically in front of strangers. But I knew this story was more about claiming my voice and asking for what I wanted than about hiring an escort, and that story needed my name.

I was humbled by the number of people who personally reached out to me and was surprised to be called “brave,” a word I reserved for people who rescued children from burning houses. Most of the anonymous online comments were supportive, but there were a few that were scathing, which I assume were from men: “get a dog,” “poor man,” “he was doing his best, look what he had to work with.”

Those comments ignited a fire in my belly. By telling me I didn’t have the right to ask for sensual and sexual pleasure at “my age,” they made me more determined to hire another escort.

I thought of the moth that flew out of my diaphragm years ago, like a rebuke reminding me I had abandoned my sexual self and left her dusty and forgotten under my bathroom sink. This time, I was the moth, back in the light, ready to flap my wings. No one was going to push me back into the dark.

I didn’t need to google my way through pictures of men with bulging body parts this time. I had a referral from a woman in her mid-60s who had read my essay and recommended Chris, someone she had seen six times. I was ready to relaunch.

My session with Chris was satisfying in so many ways — not just physically. Though I usually feel safer being in charge, I was able to let him take the lead, and I found I could ask for what I wanted and accepted that I didn’t need to please anyone but myself. That alone was a blast onto another planet. Of course, the orgasm helped, but it wasn’t just that; it was letting go of pleasing others, finding my voice and being in my body the way I wanted to be in it. The experience was truly radical for me.

I wrote other essays about Mitch and Chris for Oldster Magazine, and there were more opportunities for podcasts and essays in The New York Times, The Times UK, ABC, Irish TV and radio. I had touched a nerve; I was out in the world, and that is where the real story begins.

However, before I get into that, I want to put the sex worker episode into context. I am single and never married by choice. I have enjoyed a smorgasbord of relationships — some wonderful, some not — but by my mid-40s, it was as if the music had stopped in a game of musical chairs. I had a chair, but everyone else had chosen a partner and gone home.

In my 50s, I started using dating apps on and off, which was mostly enjoyable. But, by the time I was 65, I was bored with the sluggish fish left in the pond, tired of feeling like I was auditioning to fill the gap of the beloved dead wife or to offer my services as a “cuddle buddy,” which was how one man 15 years older described what he was looking for. No thanks. Enough dating.

As my 70th birthday loomed, not only was I looking into a world of being invisible, but I saw a future where I would never be touched sensually or sexually again — one where I never felt desired and never saw myself as desirable. As a psychologist, I know touch is a primary human need — the foundation of our physical and mental health — and it was this vision of a life devoid of touch that blasted me out of my comfort zone and got me googling escorts.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think taking off my clothes and looking for an orgasm with a stranger in a costly hotel room would lead me into a new world that felt intimate and public at the same time, or that I’d be joining a vibrant chorus of voices demanding to be heard, celebrating our minds and bodies as we age, unwilling to run or hide while resisting the stories we have been told about getting older.

These stories tell women that desirability, sexuality, sensuality and relevance have an expiration date, often after menopause, or sadly long before. These stereotypes are so deeply ingrained that we hold on to them as if they are true and inevitable, not imagined and constructed, often passing them on to our daughters and granddaughters.

In my clinical work, I hear mothers despairing that their tweens are being marketed anti-aging creams. A client in her late 20s reported having a facelift after noticing a wrinkle. I’ve also heard a mother gave her daughter Botox for her 21st birthday, and that women leaving long-term relationships were despairing because men on dating sites were seeking partners the age of their daughters. It’s no surprise that 92% of cosmetic surgery clients are women, and they seem to be in a desperate race to save themselves from aging, as if it were a preventable disease.

As we cross the bridge into the land of the elderly, the message is to shrink, step aside, take up less space. As women, not only are we less desirable but also less relevant. The one exception is grandparenting — a continuation of the mothering role.

It is painful to admit that as I aged, I found it challenging meeting clients older than me, perhaps because I fell prey to those unconscious prejudices that “old” clients would be less interesting, less open to change and less curious. Perhaps the real reason was that I was afraid to confront my own fears reflected in their eyes: loneliness, sadness, regret and urgency that time was running out. Maybe it felt safer not to look.

But I am ready to face that fear now. Yes, there are fewer years in front of me than behind me, but this life is a gift and a privilege. It is urgent, and now I am more motivated than scared. There’s no more time to stand back, to wait, and I am ready to claim my place, my power, my voice, and my wisdom with others in my tribe.

I had imagined I would reboot my body by hiring an escort. While that physical touch did wake something up in me, the real awakening came from being seen and heard through my articles and podcasts — my thoughts, my ideas and my experience mattered. I had opened a door and found the confidence and the spark I needed to restory the rest of my life.

Restorying is a concept I have embraced for decades in my therapeutic work with individuals and groups. It is based on the idea that, as individuals, our lives are constructed by the stories we learn about ourselves from our families and our culture. Some of these stories are helpful; they inspire us and move us forward. Others shame us, hold us back and keep us small.

Restorying is a process of reframing, rewriting, reclaiming our stories, and choosing the ones we wish to live by. The real story lies not in what happened to us, but in how we make sense of it. If we dare to look at the events and stories in our lives with curiosity and without judgment, we can reframe and integrate them to restory a life that is our own, not the version others constructed for us.

By telling, retelling and rewriting and having conversations about my 70th birthday story, I am reframing my past and my future, propelling myself forward into a story that is mine — a story not about the escorts, not about what happened in the tangled sheets, but about daring to find my voice, to ask for what I wanted without trying to please others.

And now, instead of shrinking and disappearing, I am expanding with every conversation. As I peel another layer off, I discover something new about myself and the world, and recognize how my assumptions and old narratives continue to limit me. This experience of “coming out” is turning out to be one of the most exciting trips I have ever been on. I’ve honestly never felt so alive.

Anyone can pause and restory their lives at any age. We don’t need to jump out of airplanes or hire escorts. We can learn to trust our voice and ask for what we want in our relationships with a partner, a friend or a work colleague; take a risk and try something new; learn something new; push our bodies; push our minds. We don’t need to do it alone — we can join a tribe and ask for support.

It takes courage to name the stories we are still holding on to about being small, not worthy, not lovable, but once we do, they lose their power over us. By trusting ourselves and taking one risk and then another, we wake ourselves up — one breath at a time.

After decades as a psychologist listening to other people’s stories, I realized how quietly I had disappeared from my own. It is scary to be breaking boundaries I have held for so long about nondisclosure as a therapist, and choosing to show up as a vulnerable, flawed human being. Perhaps that is the gift and the beauty of aging: My time is now because there is no more time to wait. I can take the risk or stay silent. I am loving conversations that debunk the myth of the wise therapist and thrilled to be joining everyone else in this wild, messy ride that is life.

Though these conversations are exciting and hopeful for me, I also have feelings of sadness and regret. As I dare to see myself and be seen, there is pain. I see missed opportunities and stories that held me back. I wish my 30-year-old self had known about this agency and the power I now know I have. I wish I could tell her that she is enough; her body is beautiful, she is lovable, and she doesn’t need to keep pleasing others to earn love. But I know she wasn’t ready to hear that back then. I like to imagine she would be thrilled to see me dancing — not shuffling — into the land of people fortunate enough to experience the adventure and challenges of aging.

In fact, my story is far from over. I continue to seek out adventures that connect me to touch. I have booked three sessions with a female tantric healer in the hope of getting closer to my fantasy of a state of body and mind free from all physical and mental constraints. I want to be suspended for a moment in space — vibrating and humming like hundreds of Tibetan bells — as another layer peels off of me.

Gail Rice is a Canadian-born, Sydney-based psychologist and writer whose work explores aging, desire and reinvention. Her essays have appeared internationally, and she has been featured on many podcasts, including The New York Times’ “Modern Love.” She is a contributor to the forthcoming anthology “More Than a MILF: Sex and the Aging Female Body” and is currently writing a memoir.

Do you have a compelling personal story you’d like to see published on HuffPost? Find out what we’re looking for here and send us a pitch at pitch@huffpost.com.

Comedian Howie Mandel’s recent quip about how he received a compliment about his looks had the internet talking ― and a therapist says it sheds light on a vital consideration when commenting on someone else’s appearance.

During an appearance on “Live with Kelly and Mark” last week, host Mark Consuelos congratulated Mandel on his 70th birthday when host Kelly Ripa chimed in, “It doesn’t make any sense.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t make any sense?” Mandel asked, while both Ripa and Consuelos hurriedly told the comedian that he “looks great.”

“I look great? That doesn’t mean anything,” Mandel replied while pointing at the hosts. “No. No. No. No. I don’t like that, because that’s a caveat!”

The hosts were only saying he looked “great” because of his age, Mandel explained, although Ripa insisted otherwise. “It’s like saying you’re smart for a stupid person,” he added.

Mandel and the hosts went back and forth and exchanged a few laughs before Mandel finally conceded that he is “gorgeous.”

Mandel later posted a video of himself on Instagram clarifying that he was joking with Ripa, despite social media commenters saying the on-air moment felt awkward and tense.

“Philosophically, I don’t believe … somebody who’s a comedian needs to apologize for a joke,” he said in the video. “But this is for Kelly Ripa, who in the past has been incredibly supportive … it is a joke, it is meant as a joke and it’s not meant to offend.”

“Sometimes, as a comedian, things don’t land the way you mean them to land,” he later said. Mandel then said he was “sorry to Kelly,” and teasingly said that after “self-reflection,” he has come to terms with the fact that he looks great for his age.

“I look fantastic, and I just have to embrace the fact that I look this good,” he said.

Many people in the comments section of Mandel’s post responded playfully. Michael Gelman, executive producer of “Live with Kelly and Mark,” teased: “During these divided times, one thing we can all agree upon is that you do look great … for your age.”

While Mandel has since clarified that his banter with the hosts was in good fun, the moment sparked a lot of debate on social media about giving compliments, as well as the enduring question: Should we compliment people for looking good for their age?

While such praise may be well-intentioned, Alexandra Cromer, a licensed professional counselor with Thriveworks, cautioned that it’s understandable that someone might feel offended by that type of compliment.

“This specific compliment is very reductionist in nature; it posits that the person defies some negatively stereotyped norm for what others believe that they ‘should’ look like as they age,” she told HuffPost. “It also can be received as offensive because of the modifier ‘for our age.’ When we compliment someone, we want it to be direct and not seemingly dependent on other factors (age, gender, etc.).”

“Someone can interpret this as negative, reductionist, and a sort of limiting belief system that one holds and then are trying to assign to someone else,” she continued.

“You should be very cautious, sensitive, and consider your reasons for commenting on someone’s looks,” Cromer said, noting that you can’t always control how your compliment about someone’s appearance will be received by the other person.

“In current society, there is a lot of indirect and direct pressure on people of all ages to achieve a ‘beauty standard’; and often, that standard is very difficult to reach and even more difficult to maintain,” she said.

Cromer added that she counsels her clients through a thought process when considering whether to comment on someone’s appearance or their age. She’ll have them ask themselves about their intentions in making the comment in the first place.

For instance, if you want to communicate to someone that they look “very healthy and happy,” it might be best to just say that directly, Cromer explained.

“There is a tremendous societal pressure to look youthful,” Cromer said. “This can and often does have a negative impact on self-esteem and self-image [on someone] as they age.”

Cromer said that society communicates to people that they lose value as they age.

“We are taught that to age means to lose value because you’re losing ‘beauty,’” she said, adding that youth is often associated with the “ideal beauty standard.”

“While aging is a natural, normal process that we all will go through, it’s packaged as something to be afraid of and to avoid,” she continued. “This can cause significant fear, anxiety and even self-criticism of your physical appearance as you age.”

Cromer said that if you’re looking for a way to offer someone else a “positive, non-offensive compliment” about their appearance, it’s best to be direct and avoid qualifications — which might include mentioning a person’s age.

She said it’s a good idea to ask yourself: “What do I hope the recipient of my compliment feels/receives/takes away from this interaction?”

So, if you want to compliment someone for looking healthy, for example, Cromer recommends you focus on just communicating that.

Simply saying “You look great!” or “You look so strong!” will do the trick.

There are many important factors to consider when thinking about healthy aging, not the least of which is fall risk.

One in four adults over 65 falls each year, according to Centers for Disease Control data, and many of those people require hospitalization, medical attention or lifestyle changes due to injury.

“One of the biggest issues that we worry about as geriatricians in older adults is falls because they can cause a lot of injuries,” said Dr. Maureen Dale, an associate professor of geriatric medicine at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill School of Medicine.

Falls can cause hip fractures, vertebral fractures or worse, all of which can hugely impact day-to-day life for older adults, she added. “And so preventing falls is really important in our patients as we age, and one of the best ways to prevent falls is to make sure people have good balance.”

This is particularly important for post-menopausal women who may have low bone density, said Dr. James F. Wyss, a spine and sports medicine physiatrist at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York.

“Lots of times, the focus on preventing a fracture is addressing bone density and strength training. But the greatest way to prevent a fracture is to prevent a fall,” Wyss said. “Sure, it’s great if you can get your bones stronger through strength training or a medication, but if you don’t fall, you’ve eliminated the risk altogether.”

Being able to balance for a few seconds is fine, but research shows that adults should be able to balance for longer. Here’s what to know.

“People should be able to stand on one foot for about 10 seconds and be able to hold their balance,” Dale said. “If they can’t do that, that’s worth talking to their primary care provider or physician about to think about things that they can do.”

There are often medical interventions that can improve balance, she noted.

While 10 seconds is the goal, the longer you can balance — even up to 30 seconds — the better, noted Janice McGrail, a physical therapist at Mass General Brigham’s Spaulding Rehabilitation.

Research shows that if you can’t balance for 10 seconds, you’re at a higher risk of falls, according to Wyss. And if you can’t hold your balance for five seconds, you are at an even higher fall risk.

Being unable to stay steady on one leg can also be a sign of other medical issues.

“Sometimes it’s just that people have a little bit of weakness in their leg muscles and need to work on an exercise program or a physical therapy program that focuses on strengthening those leg and core muscles that help support our balance,” Dale said.

Stability issues may be caused by medications, Dale noted. Certain vitamin deficiencies can also be the culprit, Dale added, such as a vitamin B12 deficiency.

“And then sometimes we find that people have sensory changes, so decreased sensation in their feet and legs that can impact their balance as well,” Dale noted.

Your doctor can help determine the cause of your balance issues and work with you toward a solution.

“There are a lot of things that we can do to help support and promote healthy balance in people. So that’s why the starting point really is talking to your primary care provider,” Dale explained.

It’s simple to start working on your balance — as long as your doctor says it’s safe to do so.

You can begin by building balance work into daily habits such as standing on one foot as you brush your teeth or as you wait for your lunch to heat up in the microwave, according to McGrail.

Depending on how steady you feel, you can also try standing with one foot in front of the other like you’re walking on balance beams.

It’s important to practice this safely so you don’t end up falling, McGrail said.

“When I’m giving someone an exercise to do at home for balance, I always tell them to stand at the kitchen counter [if you’re microwaving food] or at the sink counter if you’re brushing your teeth … so that you have something in front of you that you can hold on to if you need to,” McGrail said, adding that you should also put a chair behind you so that if you fall backwards, you “can just sit in the chair rather than ending up on the floor.”

If you aren’t ready to try standing on one foot, you can practice balancing by walking on your toes or heels throughout your house, Wyss said.

Folks who can easily balance on one leg while brushing their teeth or microwaving food can take it one step further and incorporate balance into their workout regimen, such as doing bicep curls while balancing on one foot, Wyss suggested.

“It’s 40s, 50s that I start tell people, ‘All right, start incorporating a little more balance training into your routine,’” Wyss explained.

Regular exercise three times a week is also a good way to improve and maintain your balance, according to Dale. Additionally, programs like tai chi, yoga and a physical therapy program known as Otago have been shown to also improve stability.

It’s never too late to work on your balance, McGrail stressed. As long as you’re up and moving, you can make small steps to improve it.

If you need support from a doctor or physical therapist, reach out and they can help prescribe you a safe balance-building program. Even if you’re not yet at an age where you worry much about balance, it’s still important to see your doctor regularly and manage any chronic medical issues that could contribute to balance issues down the road, Dale said.

“Making sure that we’re managing diabetes and heart disease and vascular disease are important things to keep us healthy now and to keep us healthy and well-balanced later,” Dale said.

A good lip treatment is a crucial part of a skin care routine, especially as you age. Lips are often one of the first things people notice. More importantly, when they feel uncomfortable, you notice them more. This is especially so if you deal with dry lips or notice that yours are a little more textured than you’re used to due to natural aging. In the spirit of improving our lip TLC, we spotted a hyaluronic acid plumping gloss that reviewers swear addresses signs of aging lips and delivers “spa-like” results at a steal of a price. Ahead of Amazon’s Big Spring Sale starting tomorrow, it’s already 23% off if you clip the on-page coupon, a solid deal for what reviewers call “a spa treatment for my lips” and even a Botox replacer.

You may be familiar with the $45 2025 HuffPicks beauty winner, Youthfull Lip Replenisher, for aging lips. Today, let us raise you the Suquato peptide lip treatment, also designed to fill out wrinkles and restore bounce — on sale for just $10 right now!

It boasts a 3-in-1 formula that can be used as an overnight mask, a single-layer plumping gloss or a lip gloss topper for lipstick — and per the reviews, this baby is highly effective.

“This stuff took 10 years off my lips in one night,” another reviewer raved.

“[I] put it on one night and in the morning I was shocked to see my lips were actually plump and juicy!”

“After one night my wrinkles were noticeably diminished,” reviewer L Quinn gushed about the plumping gloss.

“After a few nights, my upper lip was smooth. No more Botox needed in my lips!!”

Talk about product efficacy?!

Made with hyaluronic acid and a strong peptide complex, the versatile lip treatment hydrates and boosts collagen to lock in moisture and reduce fine lines. The added shea butter and vitamin E keep your mouth nourished and protect it from the elements.

“The texture is extremely smooth and velvety, feels so luxurious to apply and wear,” one review shared. “It creates a mild, pleasant kind of tingling sensation, which is nice for a little mental confirmation that it’s working but without being overbearing or uncomfortable at all.”

Some say it’s scentless, while others compliment the subtle smell, yet everyone seems to agree the formula is long-lasting and feels great. ” It’s sort of sticky without actually being sticky and it stays on for a long time instead of disappearing after 20 minutes like regular lip balm often does,” one wrote.

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Last but not least, the other ingenious part about this lip plumping treatment is the design of the applicator tip.

Considering the 4.5-star rated Suquato peptide lip treatment but need to know a little more? Check more reviews below from people loving the formula.

“Best lip treatment ever. I am 68 years old with thinning lips resulting in feathering. I’ve tried pretty much EVERY lip treatment – plumper on the market with varying results from “ok” to none. I was therefore pretty skeptical when I ordered this product – but boy was I ever wrong! Results were instantaneous and lasting. Feathering diminished to nearly gone! I LOVE THIS PRODUCT and it has become a daily part of my self-care and make-up routine. I HIGHLY recommend you try it!” — Eileen M Johnson

“I’m happy with this lip mask and how it plumps my lips. I’m 64 years old and have noticed thinning especially of my upper lip along with vertical lines and wrinkles on both upper and lower lips. I didn’t think to take a before pic but the picture I have provided was taken approx. 1 hour after application of the lip mask.” — SLG

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Side sleeping is arguably the comfiest position. At least, that’s what 69% of American adults think, according to a 2024 survey. If you’re in this camp, then you’ve probably been forewarned about the havoc it can — supposedly — wreak on your skin.

Crushing one side of your face into your pillow night after night is commonly blamed for causing wrinkles, sagging skin and even facial asymmetry. But given the internet’s history of demonizing things people love, it’s worth asking whether or not these claims are actually backed by science.

Unfortunately, research in this area is limited. A 2013 study published by the American Society for Dermatologic Surgery found no significant association between sleep position and wrinkles or facial sagging among 100 women. However, a 2016 review by the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery suggested that repeated facial compression during side or stomach sleeping may contribute to “sleep wrinkles” over time.

Board-certified dermatologist Dr. Shamsa Kanwal said that though there is some truth to this skin care lore, sleep position plays a relatively minor role in visible signs of aging.

“The myth is that side sleeping is a primary cause of sagging and wrinkles,” she explained. “The more realistic take is that it can add a small, localized effect, mainly sleep lines, while the big levers remain UV exposure, collagen loss with age, smoking and chronic inflammation.”

To put your fears of waking up wrinkled and lopsided to rest, we spoke to dermatologists and other experts to break down how side sleeping affects your skin and if it’s really worth it to switch positions.

Though they’re not technically “real” wrinkles, sleep lines do become more visible the older you get, thanks to a natural decline in skin’s elasticity. Your body produces less collagen and elastin — the proteins that give your skin its structural strength and flexibility — with age. The loss of both of these supportive fibers manifests clinically as wrinkles and sagging, according to a 2021 study in the International Journal of Molecular Sciences.

It also makes you more susceptible to compression wrinkles, another term for sleep lines.

“Younger skin rebounds quickly,” said board-certified dermatologist Dr. Marie Jhin. “With aging, the skin becomes less elastic and less extensible, has reduced regenerative capacity, and holds hydration less effectively. So a crease is more likely to persist and, with repetition, become ‘etched in.’”

According to both Jhin and Kanwal, those once-temporary morning creases tend to linger a little longer starting in your 30s and beyond. Repeated pressure and friction, combined with sideways pulling of the skin against a pillow, can result in vertical or diagonal lines on the cheek, temple and eye area of the side you sleep on most.

No skin care routine can completely stop the hands of time. But focusing on surface hydration and collagen stimulation before bed may reduce the appearance of sleep wrinkles by morning. As Kanwal put it, “Skin elasticity and hydration matter more than the [sleep] position itself because well-hydrated, resilient skin rebounds better after compression.”

Outside of a good moisturizer your skin tolerates, Jhin recommends slugging. This popular TikTok technique involves applying petroleum jelly to the skin before bed, which she said creates a physical barrier that helps prevent transepidermal water loss overnight.

Boosting your collagen production is more of a long-term game, and a nightly retinoid is the “best-studied topical agent” for doing so, according to Jhin. Tretinoin is her top choice.

Years of chronic pressure on one side of your face may affect how firm and supported the skin in that area appears over time. However, Jhin said that any imbalance from side sleeping is “usually subtle and often overstated.”

“In most people, side sleeping is one factor among many, and not the dominant one,” she explained. Outside of genetics, the major causes of facial asymmetry are posture, muscle dominance (like one-sided chewing), vision-related head tilting, and your bite alignment.

And while the placement of your teeth does influence your face’s overall shape, oral surgeon Dr. Jason Auerbach emphasized that side sleeping itself cannot change your bite.

“Your bite is dictated by teeth and bone,” he said. “A pillow is not moving teeth. What side sleeping can do is irritate a jaw that’s already prone to trouble. If you clench or grind or you already have TMJ sensitivity, putting pressure on one side all night can make it feel worse in the morning. That’s aggravation, not causation.”

Whatever effect side sleeping has on your skin, it isn’t enough to risk your eight hours. Kanwal describes quality rest as “one of the most visible skin habits” you can keep, and Jhin would much rather you sleep well on your side than “chase ‘perfect posture’ and sleep poorly.”

In fact, she said not getting enough shut-eye can actually make sleep lines look worse as poor sleep elevates cortisol and oxidative stress, accelerating signs of skin aging. That’s why experts say it’s better to sleep in whatever position you rest best in and focus on hydration, collagen support and minimizing friction overnight.

“Friction is the enemy,” Jhin explained, and cotton pillowcases create significant friction against the skin, causing it to grip and fold. Though Kanwal said there is “no magical material” that will eliminate compression wrinkles entirely, lower-friction surfaces like silk and satin are less abrasive.

Smaller tweaks like this matter more than major overhauls. Because when it comes to your skin, the best position is the one that lets you sleep well.

Ever had an exchange with someone in your circle that makes you feel like you sprouted a few more gray hairs?

You might not be totally imagining it.

A recent study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences this February found that those of us who have more people “who create problems or make life more difficult” in our lives (the researchers brand these types as “hasslers”) can be seen to have a higher age biologically than their true chronological age.

“Negative social ties, or ‘hasslers,’ are pervasive yet understudied components of social networks that may accelerate biological aging and morbidity,” the researchers wrote. “… Negative relationships are not rare within close relationships, as nearly 30% of individuals report having at least one hassler in their network.”

So, while you may be 35 on paper, the number of “hasslers” you encounter and negotiate with each day could have your body feeling mid-40s real quick — with researchers finding that an increased number of these “negative social ties” leads to “accelerated biological aging and a broad range of health outcomes” that can range from increased inflammation to having two or more chronic health conditions.

Not every “hassler” is created equal, however. Researchers noted that hasslers who are both kin and non-kin tend to show “detrimental associations,” while hasslers who are spouses do not. Hasslers who are your kin were associated with more intense age acceleration (1.1 year increase).

Meanwhile, the number of these negative social ties you have will also be a factor in how badly you’re hit: “Having more hasslers is associated with accelerated biological aging in both rate and cumulative burden: Each additional hassler corresponds to approximately 1.5% faster pace of aging and roughly 9 [months] older biological age.”

The researchers note that their findings reinforce what we already know about allostatic load, or the cumulative “wear and tear” people experience from navigating (and trying to adapt to) chronic stress and major life events.

The more “hasslers’ and stressful dynamics you have in your day-to-day life — particularly ones you can’t always walk away from — the more your stress-sensitive systems can get activated. That can lead to “systemic inflammation, epigenetic dysregulation and metabolic strain.”

The researchers note that exposure to these “hasslers” follows patterns that might be familiar if you’re aware of conditions that typically predict health vulnerabilities: “women, daily smokers, people in poorer health, and those with adverse childhood experiences [are] more likely to report having hasslers in their networks.” These are also demographics that are likely already facing their own allostatic load challenges.

The researchers further address how social relationships, while more typically discussed as “sources of support that promote health and well-being” in research like this, can also function as “chronic stressors” — and chronic stress is already considered “a well-established driver of biological aging.”

“A growing body of research suggests that negative ties — relationships characterized by hostility, strain, or excessive burden, making one’s life difficult— may be prevalent and have lasting health consequences,” per the researchers.

So while people like President Donald Trump might chronically stress you out with every headline that darkens your doorstep, he wouldn’t count as a hassler in your life. That distinction is reserved for more interpersonal relationships.

Researchers note that these negative social ties are also more likely to show up in dynamics that are less voluntary, harder to avoid or harder to step away from: “Ties that involve obligation, shared space, or interdependence (e.g., parents, children, coworkers, roommates) appear more likely to produce hasslers, whereas voluntary and self-selected ties (e.g., friends, church members, healthcare providers) tend to generate fewer,” according to the researchers.

“This dual nature of social ties — both protective and harmful — raises important questions about their role in biological aging and the pathogenesis of common morbidities,” per the study. “However, existing research relies on methods that capture only the positive dimensions of social relationships (e.g., social support), often overlooking negative or strained ties. As a result, there is comparatively little empirical insight into how the dark side of networks contributes to biological aging.”

From the passeggiata to the art of aperitivo, many aspects of Italian culture capture imaginations around the world. One particularly inspiring figure is the “sciura Milanese.”

The archetype is so recognizable that there’s even an Instagram account dedicated to documenting these iconic women of Milan.

“‘Sciura’ is a word from the Milanese dialect that simply means ‘lady,’” Elisa Torello, founder of Elisa’s Italian School, told HuffPost. “It is pronounced ‘shoo-ra,’ with a rounded ‘u’ sound typical of the Milanese dialect. Traditionally, it was a respectful way to address a married or mature woman, especially someone of a certain social standing.”

People from Milan who speak the local dialect might say “sciura” to mean “lady” or the title of “Mrs.”/“Ms.” before a last name. But it also has another specific meaning.

“Today the regional word ‘sciura,’ often paired with the adjective ‘Milanese,’ is used in informal Italian as well, fueled by social media trends,” said Lucrezia Oddone of Learn Italian with Lucrezia. She explained that a “sciura Milanese” is an older woman, “usually aged 60+ ― but not exclusively, as this trend also embraces women in their 50s who live in the center of Milan ― who belongs to the upper middle class and has a very classic look.”

The team behind the blog Milanesi a Milano ― Ilaria Polo, Caterina Pacianti and Laura Stricchiola ― say these well-to-do Milanese women share a set of recognizable traits.

“The ‘sciura Milanese’ is a very specific cultural figure,” they explained in an email. “She is elegant, well-groomed and unmistakably Milanese in her taste. She often wears timeless luxury pieces ― structured handbags, important jewelry, tailored coats ― and moves through the city with quiet confidence. She is a regular at historic cafés in the city center, attends cultural events and embodies a certain idea of understated but recognizable sophistication.”

This figure represents a visual identity, taste and lifestyle deeply tied to the city of Milan.

“The sciura Milanese is an institution,” said M. Grazia Montagnari, founder of Italian with Grace. “Picture her like this: perfectly coiffed hair (usually an impeccable ash blonde), a tailored coat, a silk scarf knotted with a nonchalance that actually took hours of practice and the inevitable luxury handbag perched on her forearm.”

She believes the sciura perfectly embodies the concept of “quiet luxury.” Rather than trying to keep up with rapidly changing contemporary trends, she owns her personal style and pays little attention to what others are doing. The sciura knows who she is.

“She is the personification of ‘old money,’” echoed Andrea Novello, the Milan tours manager for Walks of Italy. “Her ‘uniform’ is iconic ― a perfect blonde bob, a Max Mara camel coat, an Hermès foulard and plenty of gold jewelry. She is the undisputed queen of the borghesia ― the bourgeoisie.”

There’s another accessory that sometimes completes the look as well. “She may even be accompanied by a small dog,” said Martina Carucci from the language learning app Preply.

In many ways, the sciura functions as a visual symbol of continuity, a reminder of tradition in a city that is constantly modernizing and evolving.

“The word ‘sciura’ has long circulated in everyday Milanese speech as the local equivalent of ‘signora,‘” Torello said. “In many cases, a ‘sciura’ would have been the wife of a ‘sciur,’ a gentleman, often associated with the city’s professional or industrial class. In older generations, it functioned simply as a neutral or polite form of address.”

Although the word has been around for centuries, the image associated with the sciura has evolved.

“The more recognizable figure of the ‘sciura Milanese’ took shape in the decades following World War II, when Milan experienced rapid economic growth and became a center of finance, publishing and fashion,” Torello said. “The women who lived through that transformation, rooted in tradition but surrounded by rising luxury culture, gradually came to embody a specific type of composed, understated elegance.”

Gianluca Pedrotti, a principal learning content strategist at the language app Babbel, described the post-World War II sciura as a recognizable archetype ― “an elegant, impeccably groomed, often affluent older woman tied to the city’s bourgeois or old-money milieu.”

Many credit Milan-based designer Elvira Leonardi Bouyeure ― known as Biki ― with shaping the polished 1950s aesthetic associated with the sciura, an image that continued to influence Milanese style for decades.

“The 1980s were the ‘Golden Era’ for the sciura Milanese,” Novello said. “This was the time of ‘Milano da Bere’ when the city was the jet-setting playground of Europe. The sciura was a fixture in the front row at Armani or Versace, hopping from private gallery openings to weekends in St. Moritz. She represents that specific moment in history when Milanese industrial wealth met global fashion glamor.”

In the 21st century, the sciura experienced a pop-culture explosion thanks to social media. The Instagram account @sciuraglam (formerly @sciuragram) was founded in 2016 and now boasts more than 420,000 followers.

“Since its origin, the term’s popularity has soared,” Carucci said. “Originally, the term served to represent, and slightly mock, a specific stereotype within Milan. Throughout the years, it has evolved from one of mockery to become a phrase which represents a newfound respect and admiration for a sciura Milanese.”

Today, the term “sciura” operates on multiple levels.

“In formal or dialect contexts, especially among older speakers, it can still simply mean ‘lady,’” Torello said. “In informal speech, particularly among younger generations who may not actively use dialect, it refers to a recognizable figure ― the elegant Milanese woman of a certain age.”

“Polished hair, fur coats, designer handbags, and a fiercely local pride all became part of the imagery,” Pedrotti said. “The term evolved from simple address to cultural shorthand.”

Today, the term “sciura” or “sciura Milanese” evokes a range of opinions, but perhaps the most common response is admiration.

“They represent the idea of aging with extreme grace and dignity,” Montagnari noted. “Who wouldn’t want to reach 80 with that kind of poise?”

She emphasized that being called a “sciura” is a compliment to your sophistication and elegance. Novello added that many view these figures as style icons who invest in high-quality, enduring pieces.

“They are the ‘cool nonnas’ who actually lived the ’80s jet-set life,” he said.

The “sciura” is not purely aspirational, however.

“What makes the term especially interesting linguistically is how its meaning shifts depending on tone and context,” Pedrotti said. “While it can signal respect or admiration, it can also be used ironically or pejoratively. In the expression ‘Ué, sciura!’ ― with Ué functioning as a greeting — it can take on a mocking tone, closer to calling someone an entitled or stereotypical older woman.”

He added that “sciura” may evoke a sense of social rigidity or conservatism as well. Some might use the term to poke fun at snobby upper-class people or those who are overly concerned with proper etiquette.

“There can be a tongue-in-cheek undertone regarding her perceived ‘snob appeal’ or attachment to social rituals,” noted the Milanesi a Milano team.

Thus, the term can carry a slightly negative connotation around materialism in certain contexts.

“The word ‘sciura’ is mainly registered in the north of Italy, but it would not be unusual to hear it in other parts of the country to describe a certain type of outdated clothing or to comment on an outfit in a joking way,” Oddone said. “‘Fa un po’ sciura!’ ― in English, ‘it’s giving old lady vibes’ ― can be interpreted positively or negatively depending on tone and context.”

One’s perception of the “sciura” might also depend on generation.

“Older generations often use the word with a tone of affectionate irony, to describe a woman of a certain age who still cares deeply about her appearance and continues to wear her elegant, often luxurious wardrobe with confidence,” Torello said.

For many younger people, however, the sciura represents the idea of dressing for yourself, not for others’ approval, and prioritizing authenticity over performance.

“When used thoughtfully, ‘sciura’ celebrates individuality, consistency of taste and pride in one’s roots,” said the Milanesi a Milano team. “While there is a risk of caricature, many creatives and fashion observers are reclaiming the term to highlight authenticity and the idea that elegance is built over time. In that sense, the sciura feels surprisingly contemporary.”

The popularity of the term today also allows the broader world to get a taste of something distinctly Milanese.

“I think it’s a fun cultural stereotype that captures a Milanese woman’s personality,” said Italian teacher Margherita Berti. “Like many stereotypes, it exaggerates reality but reflects recognizable habits and style. When used playfully, it celebrates Milan’s character and humor.”

Thus, Milan’s identity and history don’t just live on in museums and monuments but also in this confident, selective, stylish and elegant way of dressing, speaking and living in the city.

“In a time when cities risk becoming interchangeable and desires increasingly shaped by global trends, the figure of the ‘sciura’ can also be read as a quiet form of resistance,” Torello said. “Her taste was not built by algorithms or seasonal drops, but through lived experience. In that sense, she stands against cultural homogenization.”

If you want to bring a bit of sciura magic into your life, there are many ways to find inspiration ― both online and in Milan itself.

“There are Instagram pages like @sciuraglam where you can see exactly who a sciura is and how they spend their time,” Novello said, adding that they’re ”mostly shopping in ‘Montenapo’ ― Via Monte Napoleone, Milan’s most famous luxury shopping street ― or having long breakfasts in the most glamorous pastry shops, such as Marchesi.”

Milan-based photographer Anastasia Fedoseeva echoed that there are specific places in Milan where you’re more likely to spot sciure (the plural for sciura) in person.

“I personally see them often around Piazza Risorgimento, and also at classic spots like a restaurant Sant Ambroeus or Pasticceria Cova on Via Monte Napoleone,” she said. “However, they are not usually concentrated in the most touristy areas ― they tend to stay within the neighborhoods where they have historically lived.”

For those looking for an authentic taste of the sciura lifestyle, Fedoseeva also recommended stepping off the main tourist routes of Milan and exploring the elegant residential districts like Corso Vercelli.

“One of my favorite areas is between Porta Venezia, Cinque Giornate and Porta Romana,” she said. “There you will not only see beautiful façades and entrance halls, but also the real Milanese lifestyle in motion.”

She also suggested checking out local neighborhood markets, for instance around Piazza San Marco, for another chance to “observe sciure in their natural habitat” (and get some shopping done yourself).

But how can you be sure you’ve got the right image in mind?

“Next time you’re in Milan, sit at a café near Sant’Ambrogio and just watch,” advised Montagnari. “When you see a lady with a perfectly groomed dog and a beige trench coat that looks like it was painted on her, you’ll know exactly who you’re looking at. What was once a local dialect word has become a recognized aesthetic code worldwide: the timeless style of the Milanese bourgeoisie.”

“You can be a ‘sciura at heart’ even in your twenties if you value quality over quantity and prefer an afternoon tea to a loud club,” Montagnari said. “It has become a philosophy of life ― taking care of oneself and the details.”

Just as you can embrace your inner sciura at any age, you also don’t have to be part of the Milanese bourgeoisie ― or even especially wealthy ― to incorporate this timeless aesthetic into your everyday style.

“To emulate her look, one must search for clothes in second-hand and vintage shops, re-evaluating what to wear in a more sustainable way,” Oddone said.

In today’s fast-paced world, getting in touch with your inner sciura means slowing down to put care into aesthetics. The sciura look is all about finding different ways to style classic pieces that can endure the test of time. Good tailoring and impeccable grooming are also part of the picture.

“Sometimes you just want that moment ― to go to a beautiful café, to do your hair, to dress up,” Fedoseeva said. “In that sense, I find sciure very motivating! And it’s also simply very pleasant visually ― elegant women walking through the city arm-in-arm with equally well-dressed husbands, which we should not forget, as the husbands often have great classic style too. Their outfits are usually very matchy in textures and colors.”

Ultimately, personal expression must prevail in the sciura aesthetic. Polish your look with some thoughtful accessories ― maybe a nice pair of sunglasses and/or a little silk scarf around your neck or the handles of your bag. Don’t be afraid to experiment with pops of color.

“I think it’s fun and view it as a reminder not to get lost in the whirlwind of things in terms of fashion and cultural expression, to remain true to oneself even when change is constant and would like to lead us towards a world in which we should dress the same, like and do the same things,” Oddone said.

This strong sense of identity is part of what makes the sciura so compelling. And there’s an underlying message: You don’t have to conform to expectations or abandon elegance as you age.

“In a world shaped by overconsumption and fast fashion, the renewed interest in the ‘sciura’ feels almost countercultural,” Torello said. “She represents longevity and quality in contrast to disposable trends. Her wardrobe was built over time, with patience, investment, and personal history. Each piece carries memory, and her style tells the story of her life.”

As folks grow older, many health fears come to mind. But one in particular tends to really worry folks.

“One of the most consuming fears of older adults [is] that they might lose their memory and become a burden to others,” said Dr. James Ellison, a geriatric psychiatrist at Jefferson Health in Philadelphia.

The specific type of memory loss that’s a top fear for many older adults is known as dementia, which is an umbrella term that refers to conditions that cause “mental loss, cognitive loss that’s severe enough to affect daily function,” said Dr. Victor Henderson, the director of the NIH Stanford Alzheimer’s Disease Research Center in California.

Dementia may make someone forget their address, not remember why they’re running a certain errand or no longer be able to pay bills they always pay. It’s a scary disease that some folks are genetically predisposed to, but there are thought to be lifestyle habits, too, that can put you at heightened risk.

“Let me begin with a caveat; there are a lot of lifestyle factors that have been associated with the risk of developing dementia. The caveat is that most of these haven’t been studied, at least adequately studied, in randomized clinical trials,” said Henderson.

Meaning, following the guidance below isn’t going to totally prevent a dementia diagnosis, but these are habits that also benefit your health as a whole. So, there’s no reason not to follow them, whether they are good for lowering your dementia risk, chance of a heart attack or bettering your mood. Here’s what to know:

“Many of the things that we talk about for dementia prevention or brain health optimization are the types of things that people will be familiar with hearing from cardiovascular and other health initiatives,” said Dr. Christina Prather, director of the Division of Geriatrics and Palliative Medicine at the George Washington University School of Medicine & Health Sciences.

“We always have said, what’s good for the heart is good for the brain,” Dr. Rudy Tanzi, the director of the McCance Center for Brain Health at Massachusetts General Hospital, previously told HuffPost.

Just as the Mediterranean diet ― which is high in healthy fats, lean meats, whole grains, fruits and veggies — is good for your heart health, it’s also good for your brain health, and is a diet that Prather recommends.

She also suggest following the MIND diet, which encourages whole grains, beans, berries, leafy greens, fish, olive oil and other foods that are said to have brain health benefits. A plant-based diet is also a good one to follow for brain health, Prather noted.

You shouldn’t shy away from managing your medical conditions, Prather said. Certain medical conditions, such as diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol are dementia risk factors, she said.

“Really aggressively managing those risk factors is well established to be a way of reducing the risk of cognitive health dementia in the future,” Prather said.

“This is particularly important for vascular risk factors like atrial fibrillation or high blood pressure or hyperlipidemia,” Ellison added. Doing so protects circulation, blood supply and oxygen supply to the brain, Ellison noted.

This is important for the prevention of vascular dementia in particular, which happens when blood flow is blocked to the brain. Vascular dementia is a common kind of dementia.

“People need to sleep adequately because the brain renews itself during deep sleep and lowers its concentration of beta amyloid, which is the toxic protein that contributes to the development of Alzheimer’s disease,” said Ellison.

Prather added that you should also be sure to treat any sleep disorders that are interfering with your rest.

“There is an epidemic of undiagnosed sleep apnea in older adults,” Prather said.

And sleep apnea results in poor-quality sleep.

Sleep can also be impacted by the use of medications that induce sleep, she noted.

“Those are all signs your body is not getting the restorative sleep that it needs to consolidate memories and to have the most optimal cognitive function going forward,” said Prather.

It’s also important to prioritize social connections, said Prather. “We know that loneliness and depression and isolation are exceptionally negative for health,” she noted.

“They have impacts on cognition as well as mortality,” said Prather.

“Loneliness is an epidemic among older adults, and has a mortality associated with it [that’s] similar to moderate smoking,” said Ellison.

Keeping your mind socially engaged is also an important way to stay cognitively engaged, Prather said, whether that’s by taking part in conversations or listening to stories from loved ones.

Lots of recent research has found that alcohol is not good for your health. It can lead to liver damage, increase your risk of certain cancers, and it’s also not good for your brain health.

“I tell people, if you’re having issues with your cognition or you’re worried about your memory, one of the first pieces of advice I’m going to give you is to reduce your alcohol use,” said Prather. Just like our body as a whole, the liver is aging and can’t handle alcohol the same way it could when you were 21.

“The other piece about alcohol is not only that, it’s a direct toxin (we increasingly know it increases risk for almost all cancers), but it can really disrupt sleep,” Prather said.

Next time you have a drink before bed, notice how it impacts your sleep, she suggested. And, as mentioned above, it’s important to get restorative sleep to reduce your dementia risk.

After 65, it’s recommended that folks have no more than one standard drink a day and no more than seven in a week, Prather noted.

The CDC recommends no more than two drinks each day for men and no more than one for women.

According to Ellison, it’s important to both live a generally active lifestyle and get in aerobic and other forms of exercise.

This could mean walking to do your errands instead of driving while also making plans to go to a workout class or go for a bike ride.

“It’s recommended that older adults exercise 30 minutes aerobically, five days a week, but only about 10% of those over 75 meet that level of activity,” said Ellison.

Exercise is good for your cardiovascular health, which, as mentioned above, is also good for your brain health.

Prather added that fitness is something you should be prioritizing no matter your age and, “well before any cognitive changes happen.”

“One of the things I tell my patients is, if you’re bicycling, wear a helmet,” said Henderson.

“There have been a huge number of observational studies linking head injury to dementia,” Henderson added. There is a consistent association that head injuries likely do play a role in dementia risk, he said.

How large of a role does it play in someone’s dementia risk? “The answer might be that it doesn’t play a huge role at a population level, but on an individual level, it’s probably really important,” said Henderson.

“As a psychiatrist, of course I want to shine a little light on depression,” Ellison said.

While severe depression isn’t as common in older adults when compared to younger adults, both severe depression and low-grade depressive symptoms can disrupt the things that are important for cognitive health such as socialization, exercise, self-care and diet, Ellison noted.

“So, treatment of depression may be one way of improving cognitive aging,” he said.

“The number of people with dementia is increasing. I think everyone is aware of that. But it’s increasing in part because the number of people living to a very old age is increasing,” said Henderson.

Most dementia happens in older folks, Henderson added.

But, on the bright side, “if you look at the actual chance of getting dementia at a particular age, it’s actually come down slightly, not a whole lot, but slightly, and it seems to parallel advances in taking care of cardiovascular health,” Henderson said.

There are also now disease-modifying FDA-approved medications for the most common form of dementia, which is Alzheimer’s, said Ellison, who stressed that it’s important to start these medications early on in the disease course.

This makes it important to talk to your doctor if you do notice that you have cognitive challenges such as frequently misplacing items, memory changes that disturb your life or have trouble solving problems.

“It’s so hard not to be afraid of something when most people have someone in their life that has been touched by this disease, and it feels as though your future risk of it … is out of your control. But the things that we’ve talked about, all lifestyle changes that can be done better that are in our control,” said Prather.

Still, there will be people who get types of dementia because of genetics or other unmodifiable risk factors, “and we cannot set up the expectation that they failed to prevent [dementia] through their own actions or choices. That is just not fair,” Prather noted.

“But, for many of us, we can make changes to our lifestyle and know confidently that we’ve done everything that we can to prevent this,” she said.

The original version of this story was published on HuffPost at an earlier date.

While research has shown that birdwatching has grown in popularity over the years, a study now suggests that becoming an expert birder may even be beneficial for your brain health.

Research published in the Journal of Neuroscience last month found that the brains of study participants who were categorized as expert birders showed structural differences in areas related to attention and perception compared to the brains of participants who were not experts in birdwatching.

The Canadian study involved 58 participants split evenly into two groups. The expert group consisted of 29 people, ages 24 to 75, who were recruited from the Toronto Ornithological Club and Ontario Field Ornithologists. The novice group consisted of 29 people, ages 22 to 79, recruited from the same birding groups and other groups focused on outdoor activities, such as hiking and gardening, NBC News reported.

All the participants underwent what’s called a diffusion-weighted MRI, which assessed structural differences in their brains. The results showed that the expert group had lower “mean diffusivity,” or MD, in certain areas of their brains. Mean diffusivity is a measure of the average rate at which water molecules move through tissue, and lower MD is associated with greater tissue density.

The lower MD (and greater tissue density) in the brains of expert birdwatchers suggested increased structural complexity in certain brain areas compared to those in the novice group, according to the study. The expert group had a “potential attenuation of age-related decline” in those regions. The lower MD was also associated with higher bird identification accuracy.

The researchers also evaluated brain function in both groups using an MRI. The participants were asked to match and identify local and nonlocal bird species. The study found that an area of experts’ brains that had shown lower MD was also actively engaged “when experts judged less-familiar nonlocal (vs. local) birds.”

Erik Wing, a lead author of the study, told NBC News that the research “gives us a window into how these regions might be important for developing the expertise in the first place.”

“We can see [birders] actually deploy those types of skills to help them identify new, unfamiliar species of birds,” he said.

Wing said the researchers chose to evaluate birders for the study because birding “combines fine-grain identification, visual search and attention to the immediate environment and sensitivity to motion, pattern detection, building these elaborate conceptual networks of different related species.”

The researchers used a bird familiarity screening test to determine whether a participant was an expert or a novice in birding, Medical News Today reported.

Wing cautioned that the study could not prove a casual link between positive brain changes and birding experience. But he told Medical News Today that “behavioral work from our group and others has shown that areas of specialized knowledge accumulated across life might be drawn on to support memory function in older adults.“

“We found that people who have spent years learning to identify birds show differences in both brain structure and brain activity — especially in regions that support attention and visual recognition,” he said elsewhere.

While this study evaluated participants based on their expertise in birding, Wing said past research suggests that brain changes have also been associated with expertise in “fields ranging from music to chess to ‘sports’ in the broadest sense (dancing to juggling).”

Dr. Emer MacSweeney, a consultant interventional neuroradiologist and CEO at Re:Cognition Health — who was not involved in the study — told the website that she believes there should be future research comparing different areas of expertise.

“While the findings resonate with a broader literature linking mentally engaging activities to healthier aging, future research should explore how different types of expertise compare and how lifestyle factors (social engagement, physical exercise, diet) interact with domain-specific training to influence brain structure and function,” she said.

Overall, when it comes to brain health, engaging in mentally stimulating activities in addition to physical ones is good for the brain in many ways. Research has shown that learning may even help older adults reduce their risk of dementia.

A study published in 2023 found that middle-aged and older adults who took adult education classes had a 19% lower risk of developing dementia within five years compared to adults who did not take classes. The participants in that study had self-reported attending adult education classes, but the frequency or type of class was not included.

“As we transition into later life, late middle age and beyond, we have to be more deliberate with making sure that we have enough intellectual stimulation and that we keep our minds healthy,” Dr. Zaldy Tan, the director of the Jona Goldrich Center for Alzheimer’s and Memory Disorders at Cedars-Sinai in California, previously told HuffPost.

Many middle-aged women don’t necessarily “have it easy.” They’re experiencing mental and physical health changes, such as depression and menopause. They’re inaccurately portrayed in the media. They may feel “invisible.” That’s only the beginning of the list.

The good news is, many of their concerns can be addressed. Today, doctors want to focus on a major example — declining bone density and muscle mass from menopause — and how middle-aged women can address it to improve their quality of life.

Their No. 1 tip? More strength training.

As mentioned, middle-aged women are experiencing changes in their bodies, particularly due to perimenopause and menopause. That may require them to change their habits, including those related to exercise.

“We’re becoming more aware of what actually happens in perimenopause: the metabolic shifts, the muscle loss, the bone changes, the mood fluctuations,” said Dr. Alexandra Dubinskaya, a urogynecologist, pelvic reconstructive surgeon and menopause and sexual health expert.

Strength-building exercises help all of those things. They increase bone mineral density, improve muscle mass, support metabolic health, decrease fall risk, improve mood and more.

“Strength training is one of the most important and most underutilized ways that women can protect their health and independence as they age,” said Dr. Clarinda Hougen, a primary care sports medicine specialist at Cedars-Sinai Orthopaedics in Los Angeles and a team physician for Angel City Football Club.

Bone health concerns, in particular, are more common for this group than you may realize, thanks to hormonal changes. As many as 1 in 3 women over 50 experience an osteoporosis fracture, and women can lose up to 20% of bone density in the five to seven years after menopause.

“Resistance training is one of the most effective non-pharmacologic tools we have to slow this process,” Dubinskaya added.

If you’re a middle-aged woman who’s not super familiar with strength training, fear not: Experts share some beginner-friendly tips and exercises you can do right now (some even from the comfort of your home).

Before making any health changes or starting a new exercise routine, check in with your healthcare provider.

“Let your practitioner know your goals of starting a resistance program, and make sure that cardiac concerns, such as high blood pressure, are not a roadblock for you to start,” said Yvonne Di Edwardo, a physical therapist at Atlantic Health.

While you’re there, she also suggested getting your bone density and balance evaluated.

Exercise doesn’t have to be a lengthy, expensive, scary thing — a couple of days a week at home will do.

“You do not need a gym membership,” Hougen said. “Start with body weight exercises, like squats, step-ups, modified pushups and planks.”

She encouraged focusing on your form to ensure you avoid injury. Checking with a personal trainer can help.

“As you get stronger, you can add light weights with dumbbells or kettlebells,” Hougen added. “Resistance bands are also handy for a variety of exercises.”

Di Edwardo shared some great starter exercises that use resistance bands:

• Sit to stand from a chair without using your hands. For an extra challenge, add a resistance band above your knees and put light pressure into the bands as you stand up.
• Supine march (basically, “march” while lying on your back) with resistance bands above your knees.
• Do gentle rows with resistance bands while standing or sitting. Pull the bands back to your chest with good posture.
• Side-step with a resistance band above your knees, using a countertop or wall to assist with your balance if necessary.

Don’t forget about warming up beforehand. “It is always a good idea to warm up — even for a short walk or a small amount of time on a recumbent or upright bike is a good way to warm muscles,” she added.

You may also experience urinary incontinence or the weakening of pelvic floor muscles during menopause. Resistance training can help.

“In pelvic floor training, the use of resistance training, either bands or light weights, with appropriate integration of our pelvic floor muscles and breathing technique, can make challenges such as running, lifting and stair-climbing less stressful on our pelvic floor and aid in maintaining our bladder control,” Di Edwardo explained.

Exercises that strengthen the pelvic floor include kegels, bridge pose, squats, pelvic tilts and “bird dog.” A pelvic floor therapist can work through those with you.

When attending to your pelvic floor, Dubinskaya encouraged patients to “lift smarter” by paying attention to warning signs.

Examples include lower back tension, pelvic heaviness, a feeling of fullness or “something stuck” in the vagina, symptoms that worsen at the end of the day and new urinary leakage during lifting.

Let’s be real: Exercise isn’t always enjoyable. Even fitness pros don’t always want to work out. To stick to a routine, you may want to grab a couple of friends or attend a class.

“For some individuals, the social component to exercising is an added perk, and it helps in compliance and routine,” Di Edwardo said.

She recommended a water aerobics class to work your muscles and aid in muscle-building, or checking out a community-based activity focused on light resistance challenges.

The way you feed your body matters, too. In this case, protein is particularly important. “Make sure you are eating an adequate amount of lean protein to support muscle growth and repair,” Hougen said.

Lean protein food sources include chicken, turkey, beef, pork and others.

Don’t forget about adequate hydration, either. “Muscles that are underhydrated can cause us to cramp or not recover quickly,” Di Edwardo explained.

Going slow with exercise changes is key — especially for women who have connective disorders, such as Ehlers-Danlos. According to Dubinskaya, aggressive heavy lifting in particular can cause symptoms to flare up earlier and progress faster.

“Weightlifting is good, but more is not always better,” she said.

Di Edwardo agreed. “As with all resistance training, know your limits,” she said. “Allow your muscles to take a break when needed.”

The “golden rule” here, perhaps, is to push yourself, but not too hard.

“Midlife health is not about extremes,” Dubinskaya said. “It’s about longevity. The goal isn’t to lift the heaviest weight in the room, but to still be lifting safely 20 years from now.”