Allsummer,people have been obsessing over the aging filter on TikTok, which is so spot on that some dermatologists have praised its accuracy. But queer men across the social media platform have been completely freaking out at the elder versions of themselves — and we need to talk about it.
Whether it’s gay men joking that they need to “drive off a cliff” or pointing out how much they “hate it here,” there seems to be a genuine animosity toward the aging filter. And although they’re mostly jokes, I can’t help but feel that these TikToks point to a deeper problem within our community: Many of us are extremely uncomfortable with the thought of getting older.
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Of course, aging can be scary for anyone. But in the gay community specifically, youth tends to be such a high metric for self-worth that gay men often struggle with getting old, and derogatory terms like “sugar fossil” are common among older queer men.
There’s more to it than being less desirable, though; aging can also bring to mind how the AIDS crisis left us without so many of the people who would now be elder queers.
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And the reality is that the messaging we all receive daily about gay men — from pop culture to Hollywood — doesn’t really prepare us to think about life beyond youth. It sometimes feels like there’s no road map for getting ready to live as older queer men. Our shortsightedness is evident in the spaces we’ve built for ourselves, especially considering that gay spaces tend to take the form of nightclubs and bars, which usually cater to younger people.
But if we’re lucky, we’re all going to get older, and it’s time we start to seriously address that stigma. When we’re no longer young and we need new kinds of physical and emotional support, some of us could end up in community centers where we might not feel comfortable being ourselves. In fact, a 2018 survey found that 34% of LGBTQ+ adults ages 45 and older were worried about having to hide their identities to access suitable housing. We should all be thinking about that a little bit more.
As queer men, it’s time to accept that we won’t always look young, and that our looks are not a direct reflection of our worth. This TikTok filter is, frankly, too harsh of a wake-up call — but if we need to laugh till we cry with some form of acceptance, I’m OK with that.
“I don’t like it,” Kylie Jenner says plainly. She flips her hair and stares into the camera, taking in the AI-generated wrinkles that the TikTok aging filter has superimposed on her face. Then, in almost a whisper, she adds: “I don’t like it at all.”
Videos like this one are all over my TikTok feed. Most users gawk, wide-eyed and horrified, as the viral filter generated through artificial intelligence gives their faces sagging jowls, sunken cheeks, deep grooves in the forehead and around the mouth. Like Kylie, most young people trying this filter out do not like what they see. In turn, most of the media response to the filter’s popularity has revolved around dermatology, procedures and potions that could potentially blunt the blow of nature taking its course.
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For me, the filter brings up a different kind of discomfort.
I’m not some kind of virtuous exception to modern vanity. I’m 37 and just as shallow as the next person. But when I see this stream of instantly aged-up faces, I’m not really thinking about the aesthetics of wrinkles — I’m thinking about the older faces that I’ll never get to see.
Like the face of my little brother, who died suddenly almost 10 years ago now, at the age of 26. I think about his face, young and frozen in time in my memory, and wonder how it would look at age 60, 70. I think about how I took looking at that face for granted.
I imagine he’d be taking to his mid-30s pretty elegantly. He would’ve finally outgrown his babyish features. His face would show the permanent side effects of all the time spent laughing too hard, furrowing his brow too skeptically at the “Real Housewives,” sleeping with cheek blissfully smashed into his pillow. All the wonderful stuff of life that the skincare experts caution you against experiencing, for the sake of a smooth complexion.
Not everybody gets to grow old, the age filter reminds me.
My brother shed his skin suit so young. Too young. He was supposed to live longer, I feel sure of it, but somehow the wires got crossed. His pain was so heavy, and the drugs were too intense. He checked out too early and missed the complimentary brunch.
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If only he could’ve known how tasty it can be to age, to keep on living. If he’d made it to the other side of his struggles, I imagine he’d have earned that look in his eye that I admire so much in people in recovery from addiction. The look that says: I’ve seen the void, and now I’m not taking any of this for granted.
Maybe engaging with our imagined older faces is a good way to remind ourselves that this body we live in, each and every one of us, is destined to be a corpse. No amount of eye cream can change this fact.
I don’t mean to come off as creepy or nihilistic — in fact, I hope to have just the opposite effect. This life is amazing! It’s incredible! It’s for a limited time only! Death doula Alua Arthur puts it simply: “The real gift in being with our mortality is the sheer wonder that we live at all.”
We have so little time here. It’ll take your breath away if you stop to think about how short the time truly is. An average lifespan is about 4,700 weeks. How many weeks have you rushed through blindly? I’ve rushed through practically my entire summer for no real reason at all other than general anxiety and dread at world events.
Meanwhile, my beloved old dog gets even older. My crow’s feet deepen. My time left with my loved ones clicks downward. And I’m supposed to channel this ambient sense of loss into chemical peels? There’s something so unsatisfying about the fact that our public dialogue about aging begins and ends with fine-line prevention.
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Instead of obsessing over active ingredients, wouldn’t it be amazing to talk about what aging really means to us? Our fears, pains and aspirations? Wouldn’t it be incredible if we could learn to aspire toward age as we grapple with our impermanence? This still feels far away, but I think we’re getting closer. Even Barbie is thinking about dying these days.
We won’t wake up some morning and be forced to confront our drastically aged face all at once. It’ll happen slowly, over time, and only if we’re very, very lucky. I’m hoping that once I’m 70, I’ll be too up to my eyeballs in love and happiness to think about it at all.
As for the age filter, plenty of people on TikTok have moved past the initial shock and settled into something like acceptance. One ongoing bit on the app features millennials and Gen Zers using the filter while explaining things like AOL Instant Messenger, Raya and Four Seasons Total Landscaping to their imagined future grandkids. Others, like Amy Poehler, simply put the filter on and smile serenely, with a caption that says: “May I be so lucky.” Aging is a privilege, the adage goes.
While I go through my own skincare routine in front of the mirror, I sometimes look for my brother in my face. I peer closely for the traits we shared. Yep, there’s his squat nose, his Chiclets teeth, his thin, bowed upper lip. But my face also shows the signs of the last decade of aging. The grooves are subtle but they’re permanent now, visible even when my face is still, like dry little riverbeds.
My first reaction is, of course, panic. But while I cringe at my crow’s feet, it helps to remember how lucky I feel to be getting older, even if that means watching the signs of a well-lived life increasingly show up on my face.
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What I wouldn’t give to have the pleasure of watching my brother get older, too.
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As crucial as our brains are to our ability to function, they don’t get nearly the attention that certain muscle groups (or even wrinkles) do. Unless we’re dealing with a serious condition, most of us don’t experience symptoms of cognitive decline until after midlife.
But brain care is self-care. Just like you brush your teeth to avoid a root canal and wear sunscreen to protect your skin, giving your noggin the TLC it deserves sooner rather than later is the best way to keep it functioning at its peak.
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“It’s going to help your heart, protect you from other diseases, make you more connected to other people and more upbeat,” Dr. Gary Small, a geriatric psychiatrist, professor at the University of California, Los Angeles and author of “The Memory Bible,” toldHuffPost. “You’re going to live longer andbetter. Who doesn’t want that?”
Whether you’re in your 20s or 60s, here are five expert-backed habits you can adopt to give your brain a leg-up:
Taking Walks With A Friend
Consistent physical exercise is one of the best things you can do for your brain health. But you don’t have to be a triathlete to reap the benefits. Research has shown that older adults who frequently engaged in “leisure walking” were less likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease than those who didn’t.
While getting your steps in can help keep your mind sharp, Smalls has a hack for getting even more cognitive juice out of your strolls: Invite a friend.
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“The triple threat against Alzheimer’s disease is to take a walk with a friend. You get the aerobic exercise that’s going to help your brain, the mental stimulation of a conversation, and ― if [your friend] is empathic ― you can talk about anything that’s bothering you.”
That combination of physical exercise, social connection and stress reduction is a potent brain-booster. Whether you set a weekly walk date with a friend or call loved ones every time you hit the pavement, your brain will thank you for the company.
Meditating For 10 Minutes
Stress is the enemy of healthy brain functioning. Science has long determined that exposure to chronic stress candamage the hippocampus and impair our memory. Since life isn’t getting any less stressful anytime soon, Smalls said a good tool to combat anxiety and worry is a regular meditation practice.
“My team at UCLA did studies where they found that just 10 minutes of meditation not only improved your mood but improved your cognitive function,” he explained. “You don’t have to take a vow of silence for a month at some retreat. Just a little bit of meditation each day can make a big difference.”
The style or method of meditation doesn’t matter as much as your consistency. Find something you like ― guided visualizations, mantra chanting, simple breathing exercises ― and make actively reducing stress a part of your daily routine.
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Mayur Kakade via Getty Images
Journaling comes with a host of mental health benefits.
Gratitude Journaling
Being a cynic isn’t just bad for your mood. It’s bad for your brain, too. Studies indicate thatrepetitive negative thinking is a potential marker for an increased risk of dementia and cognitive decline. Training yourself to find the silver lining by practicing gratitude can bea powerful antidote, but shifting your mindset isn’t easy. Pairing this habit with another brain-friendly practice, like writing by hand, can be a powerful one-two punch.
Jessica Fredericksen, the brain health program manager at the not-for-profit senior living and health care organizationGoodwin Living, told HuffPost that writing by hand works the prefrontal cortex ― the part of the brain responsible for memory and recall. Repetitive exercises like reading aloud, simple math and writing by hand keep that part of your brain sharp.
Not a fan of journaling? Try writing letters to loved ones as another way to work your brain by combining the power of penmanship with social engagement.
“We don’t really write letters anymore,” Fredericksen said. “But a lot of people love getting mail. You obviously have that brain health activity of physically writing, but you also get that socialization and stress reduction. It’s really a positive thing to write to someone and connect.”
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Keeping A Consistent Bedtime
Sleep plays a crucial role in how well our brains function. Dr. Daniel Rifkin, medical director of the Sleep Medicine Centers of Western New York and founder of the virtual sleep care networkOgnomy, explained that while we’re drifting off to dreamland, our brains are hard at work consolidating memories and clearing toxins that build up when we’re awake.
“Our bodies have a lymphatic system that clears all the yucky stuff, but the brain doesn’t have that. It has sinuses where blood and cerebrospinal fluid flow through. [Researchers] discovered that when we sleep, there are certain brain cells that will shrink and swell to allow that cerebrospinal fluid to drain more easily and clear all the junk that we left in our brains during the day.”
This discovery has led Rifkin and other researchers to believe that the link betweensleep deprivation and Alzheimer’s disease has a lot to do with not giving your brain enough time to clear out those toxins. Even getting just one hour less of the recommended amount of sleep every nightincreases your risk of dementia.
The best way to combat sleep deprivation? Keep a consistent bedtime that allows for at least seven hours of sleep.
Picking Up A New Team Sport
Learning is another key piece to healthy brain functioning. But picking up a new language or skill isn’t the only way to get the job done. If you really want to keep your brain on its toes, Frederickson recommends any social hobby that has a physical component. Whether it’s joining a yoga studio, taking a ballroom dancing course or playing pickup basketball with your friends, any activity that combines physicality, learning and social engagement is a guaranteed brain-booster.
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“You’re learning something new, you’re getting physical exercise and you’re meeting new people,” she said. “We have some seniors who do senior parkour, so the possibilities are really endless.”
Humans are social creatures by nature, and research continues to back up the idea that relationships are good for our brains. One study found that meaningful social engagement with friends, family members and even strangers canreduce the loss of gray matter (the brain tissue responsible for normal day-to-day functioning) and associated cognitive decline.
So if you’re limited in what you can do physically, Frederickson said to opt for any hobby that combines learning and social interaction. Playing bridge and mah-jongg, for example, can be just as stimulating for the mind as joining a kickball team.
Improving your brain health doesn’t have to mean overhauling your life. The most important part is finding activities that you genuinely enjoy and can stick with. Integrating a few brain-friendly habits can make all the difference in how well your brain operates today, tomorrow and years down the road.
To many, Botox is a controversial topic. Plenty of questions surround the potential use of the injections: How much Botox is too much Botox? Who are the best doctors? Should a physician assistant be allowed to administer the injections? Are other products preferable?
Perhaps most common, though, are queries about the best age to start the injections, if you’re interested. Some believe that, once one’s skin starts sagging, it’s already too late for Botox to properly work. Others assume that “preventative Botox” is a myth.
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To get the facts, we reached out to board-certified dermatologists and plastic surgeons, asking when is the ideal age to start getting Botox, especially when trying to maximize results.
What is Botox?
Short for botulinum neurotoxin, Botox injections use a toxin to limit muscle movement for a limited time. By preventing targeted muscles from moving and completely relaxing them, the substance basically smooths out wrinkles when applied to the face.
Interestingly enough, the first use of Botox was unrelated to cosmetic matters.
“Botox was actually isolated almost 100 years ago and it was originally used to treat spasms around the eyes,” explained Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr. Gary Motykie. “Doctors were using it to treat people medically and they started noticing that the patients were looking younger, so at one point companies started looking into other benefits of the injections. Nowadays, people don’t realize that Botox is used for many disorders like spasms, migraines, muscle disorders, vocal cord issues, bladder problems and more. It has a lot of medical uses other than cosmetic ones.”
It is cosmetic uses, though, that have propelled Botox into the popular cultural canon, making it “one of the most common nonsurgical cosmetic procedures” in the world, according to the University of California San Francisco, with an estimated 11 million people having used it at least once.
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In the noninvasive surgical world, the most popular targeted area is, according to experts, the face.
“Between the eyes is the most common place to get Botox,” said New York dermatologist Dr. Leah Ansell. “It opens up your eyes. The second most common place is the forehead for wrinkles. Then there are other ‘special areas’ that people treat, like where your nose scrunches by the eyes above your lip and the angles of the jaw.”
No matter the target, the goal of the procedure is to smooth out skin creases, and not necessarily to prevent them from appearing in the first place.
When should someone start getting Botox?
“There is not one age to start Botox,” Ansell said. “It varies on the individual. Specifically, when you start to see lines that are etched at rest — meaning they are there even when you are not raising your forehead or smiling, but just staring right ahead — it means it’s time to consider starting light Botox.”
Motykie has a similar view. “The ideal age to start Botox is when you are starting to show signs of aging,” he said. “That is usually in your late 30s and early 40s.”
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Genetics can also play a factor.
Anna Efetova via Getty Images
Botox is a brand name that’s typically used to refer to botulinum toxin in general, although it is in fact one of many brand names. Others include Dysport and Xeomin.
“I tell patients to look at their relatives,” Ansell said. “If those adults in their 50s, 60s and 70s have a lot of sun damage or a lot of wrinkles, that may happen to you as well. There are a lot of genetics at play here, so knowing what your skin type is can help.”
Speaking of sun damage, the doctors we contacted all were adamant about the importance of sun protection, both for health reasons and in order to stave off wrinkles — and therefore the use of Botox.
“The most important thing you could tell someone with respect to wrinkling and aging is to avoid the sun,” said Miami-based plastic surgeon Dr. Carlos Wolf. “Wear sunscreen, use antioxidants and hyaluronic acid to moisturize the skin. You have to be careful as the sun is what makes you look older.”
How bad is it to get Botox injections before the suggested guidelines?
“We’re seeing a trend as potential Botox patients are becoming younger and younger, and I’m not a huge fan of that,” Motykie said. “Traditionally, the majority of those interested were in their 40s and 50s as they were starting to show signs of aging, but now it’s becoming more mainstream” at younger ages.
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Plenty of factors contribute to the trend, especially our reliance on social media and all things visual. We place so much importance on pictures and the look of things that it’s only natural to turn the lens toward ourselves. We are the subjects of our own selfies, after all.
Also, given the popularity of the injections, folks seem to have become at ease with the idea of getting Botox. People think everyone is signing up for the procedure, so why shouldn’t they try it?
As medical professionals noted, though, getting Botox in your early 20s when it’s rare to have wrinkles might not be the wisest idea.
<div class="js-react-hydrator" data-component-name="Slideshow" data-component-id="274" data-component-props="{"index":29,"contentListType":"slideshow","id":"645a84b9e4b03e16f19efe84","title":"The Best Mineral Sunscreens, According to Dermatologists","enhancements":{"fonts":{"primary":{},"accent":{},"caption":{}}},"dek":"","view":"slideshow","lastPublishedAt":"2023-05-11T20:09:42Z","slides":[{"embedData":{"type":"hector","url":"https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/645a847a2200003500eea1bf.png","queryParams":{},"width":1080,"height":1080,"credit":"Dermstore"},"type":"image","common":{"id":"645a84c6e4b094269bb01d80","caption":"According to Camp, this sunscreen is technically a mineral and chemical sunscreen because it is formulated with both zinc and octinoxate. It also has skin care-friendly ingredients like hyaluronic acid, niacinamide and vitamin E. 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","source":"","title":"Summer Fridays ShadeDrops mineral milk sunscreen (SPF 30)","type":"image","summary":"","badge":"","cta":[{"text":"$36 at Sephora","url":"https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=Zb4jl9GtVeY&mid=2417&u1=64bab497e4b0dcb4cab90254&murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.sephora.com%2Fproduct%2Fshadedrops-broad-spectrum-spf-30-mineral-milk-sunscreen-P500181","ampPositionInUnit":21,"positionInSubUnit":23}],"meta":null,"credit":"Sephora","creditUrl":"","authorship":{"author":{"id":"000000000000000000000000","bio":{},"urls":{},"urlName":{"text":"","transliterated":""}}},"thumbnail":{"url":{"fileName":"645a84942200001a00eea1c3.png","type":"hectorUrl"},"caption":"Both Pamela Anderson and Hailey Bieber are fans of Summer Fridays’ ShadeDrops SPF 30 mineral sunscreen, a great option for anyone looking for a lightweight, naturally radiant finish that protects from UV rays while also providing nourishing ingredients to the skin. Made with vegan and cruelty-free ingredients, this sunscreen is formulated with zinc oxide, squalane, chamomile and an antioxidant blend of vitamin E and ethyl ferulate. They work together to shield the skin from sun damage and to hydrate, soften and smooth the skin and protect against further damage from free radicals. 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“If a car salesman tells you that you should buy a new car in case your current one breaks down, would you do it?” he asked.
Also, it may not be a good idea to inject your face with too much toxin, which may happen if starting early.
“I don’t think there are negative effects to starting early, but if people’s faces are too frozen because of it over time, does that change the way people interact with them socially?” Ansell asked.
Clearly, Botox is about more than smoothing wrinkles, which makes the age when you start injections that much more important.
What can you do to avoid needing Botox?
According to experts, the best way to push off the appearance of wrinkles and the potential need for Botox is proper skin care. In addition to avoiding the sun and using sunscreen, Motykie sings the praises of microneedling.
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Also referred to as collagen induction therapy, the procedure basically calls for the repeated puncturing of the skin with tiny needles. According to the Cleveland Clinic, this will “help reduce the appearance of skin concerns such as acne scars, stretch marks or wrinkles.”
“As we get older, the skin is thinning, so you’re not only getting wrinkles from muscle movements but from the skin thinning,” Motykie explained. “Microneedling alone can help thicken your skin and therefore prevent those wrinkles from forming, and I think that at a younger age that would be a preferable go-to than starting with the Botox right away.”
Gwyneth Paltrow is pushing back against the “double standard” that celebrates men but devalues women as they age.
In a new interview with British Vogue, the Goop founder, 50, made it clear that she welcomes growing older while reflecting on the “weird” cultural expectation that women should resist aging.
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“I think it’s culture’s problem. It’s not ours,” said Paltrow, who noted how women are judged more harshly for getting older than men. “As women, we want to be healthy, we want to be [aging]. This idea that we’re supposed to be frozen in time is so weird.”
The wellness guru gave credit to stars who are “embracing” growing older, like Andie MacDowell, who stopped coloring her hair after the COVID-19 pandemic began.
“I love it when I hear somebody like Andie MacDowell, with her beautiful grey curls, talking about embracing aging and the difference between how we handle a George Clooney [versus an aging female star],” Paltrow said.
She added: “It’s handsome to go grey [as a man], but for women it’s like, ‘What do you plan to do about your wrinkles and your aging skin?’”
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The “Avengers” actor, who said she enjoys seeing “examples of how you can age,” encouraged women to age “how they want to do it.”
“Some women want to address every single thing aesthetically, and some women want to be a fabulous French grandmother who doesn’t ever do anything. Everybody should be empowered to do it how they want to,” the actor declared.
Paltrow isn’t the only star to call out sexist double standards.
Just last week, actor Gabrielle Union slammed ageist internet trolls who criticized her for being “too old” to wear a thong bikini at age 50.
In September 2022, Paltrow, whose Goop brand produces several anti-aging products, admitted that she’d made peace with her wrinkles.
“I accept. I accept the marks and the loosening skin, the wrinkles. I accept my body and let go of the need to be perfect, look perfect, defy gravity, defy logic, defy humanity. I accept my humanity,” Paltrow said in a self-published essay on Goop’s website.
A new TikTok filter gives users a glimpse into what they might look like when they get older ― and not everyone is liking what they see.
The TikTok aging filter, which shows a split screen of the user’s current face and an aged, AI-generated older version, is inescapable on the app right now, appearing on videos that have amassed more than 10 billion views.
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Like many trends on the internet, use of the filter caught on after a Kardashian-Jenner sister tried it — this time, makeup mogul youngest sister Kylie Jenner.
“I don’t like it, I don’t like it at all,” the 25-year-old said in a clip posted Monday on the video platform as she shook her head and stared at a version of herself with wrinkles, sagging skin and undereye bags. “No. No.”
Others were equally unimpressed with their filtered results.
“[I’ll] age like milk left in the hot sun,” TikToker Alex Beck said, sizing up his before and after.
Other people used the popular filter on old photos of celebrities to see if the filter accurately predicted what people like George Clooney or Sarah Jessica Parker would look like when they got older. (It did.)
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Even plastic surgeons who’ve used the filter say it pretty accurately mirrored the natural aging process.
“I can see that overall my skin texture has lost some collagen, it has some sun spots, age spots,” said Lauren Umstattd, a plastic surgeon in Kansas, as she looked over her filtered results.
“The skin of my upper lids is accentuated. Crows feet are accentuated, the volume loss in your cheeks,” she added. “There’s more prominent nasolabial folds and marionette lines. [One] critique is that I will probably lose more volume in my lips than it shows based on what I see in other women.”
Demoralized by the results, some shared ways to “beat” the filter: If you see someone who is supposedly “aging” better, they suggested, it’s probably because they filmed themselves in good lighting.
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It’s understandable why so many of us are perturbed by the “old” filter: Most filters on the apps are aspirational, giving users a poreless, perfect Instagram Face version of themselves.
It feels like you, only better ― which might be why plastic surgeons have said they’ve had a surplus of clients bringing filtered selfies to appointments to illustrate the tweaks they’d like to make.
The “old” filter is more deterministic: “You’re going to look like this,” it suggests; “maybe you should look into that preventive Botox after all.”
It isn’t surprising that people are playing around with the aging filter, even after seeing others have “bad” results with it. Most of us are curious about how we’ll look as we grow older, and using the filter is a way to satisfy that curiosity, said Julie Erickson, a psychologist and the author of the forthcoming book “The Aging Well Workbook for Anxiety and Depression.”
Unfortunately, the “old” filter does more than satisfy a benign curiosity.
“Trying it out can activate fears of growing ― and looking ― older, reinforce ageist assumptions that looking old is inherently problematic, and make someone more hyper-focused on their appearance,” Erickson said.
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The psychologist noted that there’s increasing evidence suggesting that the use of these filters increases body image dissatisfaction, worsens mood and could lead to body dysmorphia, an unhealthy preoccupation on some perceived flaw in physical appearance that’s either small or not even detectable to others.
“Filters are particularly bad news for women, who already face heightened pressure to defy age and maintain a youthful appearance as they grow older,” Erickson said.
“With the ‘old’ filter, worrying about how you look isn’t just restricted to the present; it’s making people worry about the future, too, playing right into our anti-aging fixation.”
With the “old” filter, worrying about how you look isn’t just restricted to the present; it’s making people worry about the future, too, playing right into our anti-aging fixation.
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A 2018 U.K. report found that millennials have by far the most negative attitudes about aging of all age groups, with nearly one-quarter of millennials surveyed admitting they thought being unhappy and depressed is a normal part of old age.
The anti-aging market is estimated to make tens of billions of dollars in global sales every year. The demand for procedures that stave off signs of aging ― “preventative” Botox (intended to delay wrinkles by paralyzing the muscles that create fine lines) and fillers (injected beneath the surface of the skin to add fullness) ― is only increasing.
Our fears of aging are reflected in how quick we are to cheerlead celebrities who “don’t age” or still “look hot” in selfies, like Martha Stewart.
The filter plays into all these fears and more, the experts we spoke to said.
Of course, not everyone using the aging filter on TikTok is demoralized by the results. Some users have said they felt a sense of peace from seeing an older version of themselves. “She looks so fun and full of life! I can’t wait to meet her,” said @yazzy_so_co0l.
“I’ve decided that those in the assisted living center with me are going to love me,” social media strategist Hope Woodard joked about her “old” self.
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Clearly, that’s a better approach. Below, therapists and experts on aging share how to capture some of that energy and embrace aging as a filter and in real life.
Ask yourself: Why did I have such a visceral reaction to this?
If the age filter caused you to spiral into the depths of body image despair ― or just made you say, “Ugh, I have that to look forward to?” ― it might be helpful to take a step back and explore the roots of this spiral, said Chadley Zobolas, a therapist and owner of CZ Therapy Group in Denver.
“What’s being triggered underneath the surface that’s causing this response?” she said. “What are the past experiences and lingering messages that are fueling the self-esteem fire?”
For a lot of us, it’s internalized societal messaging. The anti-aging industry is centuries in the making, and the misconceptions and negative beliefs we have about aging ― that we lose vitality, that we become less attractive to others ― are deeply entrenched in our society.
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As one person, it’s hard to counter all that negative messaging. Still, simply recognizing how much negative messaging you’ve received around aging in your life can be a game changer, Zobolas said.
The therapist also offered a short list of questions that might be helpful to ask yourself:
What messages have been internalized about your appearance, the appearance of others, and what’s considered “beautiful” vs. “unattractive” as it relates to aging?
Where, when, and from whom did you hear these messages? How was/is the aging process viewed in your family?
What cultural factors might come into play?
How do your older family members talk about their aging bodies with you or in front of you?
Find things you like about the aging version of yourself.
Like we mentioned, some people who posted their “old” filter videos emphasized what they liked about what they saw. Maybe you look more distinguished than you thought, for instance.
Quite a few people said they looked at their aged selves and noticed that they looked like a beloved family member.
“Everyone’s freaking out about this filter, but I kind of love it, because who do I look like? I look like my nanny who just passed away a few months ago,” TikToker @thiskindalife said.
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Get comfortable with aging by exposing yourself to positive “age role models.”
One way to confront any ageism you’ve internalized is to seek out positive representations of aging, said Samantha DeCaro, the director of clinical outreach and education at theRenfrew Center, an eating disorder treatment center in Philadelphia.
Follow some older influencers on Instagram or check out books that flip the script or deal critically with how our culture treats aging. (“Not Too Old for That: How Women Are Changing the Story of Aging,” by Vicki Larson, for instance, or the late Nora Ephron’s “I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman.”)
“It’s so important to find inspirational people who are older than you, perhaps in person, through books, or by following older creators online, who are re-writing the harmful narratives about aging often reflected in the media,” DeCaro said.
Monitor your negative self-talk.
Our fears of aging are reflected in how casually we talk about our encroaching flaws internally and among friends: “Ugh, my crow’s feet are terrible,” or “I need to do something about my elevens [the vertical forehead lines].”
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In general, be mindful about how you speak about getting older. It might feel like camaraderie when you commiserate about your laugh lines with a friend, but it could also feed into negative beliefs you may hold about getting older.
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Be mindful of any negative language you use around aging, internally or with friends.
Focus on the positive aspects of changing.
Aging isn’t just about how you look, it’s about how you feel, too, said Alan Castel, a professor at the University of California, Los Angeles, who studies memory and successful aging.
“Often our subjective age ― how old we feel ― is a better indicator of how well we will age, so these apps may overemphasize physical aging and not account for psychological well-being,” said Castel, who’s the author of “Better with Age: The Psychology of Successful Aging.”
“There are so many myths about aging being all downhill, but in fact, research shows that aspects of our psychological health, such as mood and emotional regulation, may improve in older age,” he said. “Many older adults report older age to be a happier and more satisfying time in life.”
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Remember that aging is a gift.
It may be a tad cliché, but it’s always important to note that aging is a privilege not all of us get to experience. Erickson said: “Remind yourself that aging ultimately reflects successful adaptation, and that is something to be revered and celebrated, wrinkles and all.”
Twitter users are giving Kylie Jenner the side eye after she complained about her shocking results from using the viral TikTok aging filter.
“I don’t like it, I don’t like it at all,” the reality star said in a clip posted Monday on the video platform, as she watched in awe, shaking her head in disapproval after the filter applied wrinkles, sagging skin and under-eye bags to her now-25-year-old face. “No. No.”
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The TikTok aging filter, which shows a split screen of the user’s current face and an aged AI-generated image of the user with wrinkles and thinning hair, has been making the rounds across the app, appearing on videos that amassed more than 10 billion views.
After Jenner appeared startled by her results, fans began pointing out to the beauty mogul that she can afford any procedures to change her appearance if she’s unhappy with it.
“You can afford to fix it so you’ll be ok,” one user commented on the star’s post.
One user wrote, “Don’t worry you have money,” to which another person added, “That’s so true.”
Other TikTok users accused the reality star of previously undergoing cosmetic procedures.
“You have fixed it before, you can do it again!!!” one person said.
Some fans stepped into the comments section to defend “The Kardashians” star, complimenting her looks.
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“You still look good, don’t be scared to age,” one wrote.
Another dished out encouraging words, writing, “Babe u look good both ways.”
The Kylie Cosmetics founder later switched up her vibes about the photo in the comments, writing: “Jk i love her she’s cute lol 🏻”
Back in 2019, Jenner openly discussed getting fillers, but shut down rumors about plastic surgery, calling them “completely false.”
“They don’t understand what good hair and makeup and, like, fillers, can really do,” she told Paper Magazine.
The beauty influencer recently said in an interview with Hommegirls that seeing her natural features on her kids’ faces has made her more comfortable in her own skin.
“[Motherhood has] made me love myself more. I see my features in my daughter and my son now, but you know, my daughter looks like me. I get to see my beauty in her, and it’s made me love myself more for sure,” the mom of two said.
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Jenner shares her 5-year-old daughter, Stormi, and 1-year-old son, Aire Webster, with rapper ex Travis Scott.
The beauty entrepreneur also opened up about getting lip fillers, adding that she’s never regretted getting them.
“I think a big misconception about me is that I’ve had so much surgery on my face and that I was some insecure person, and I really wasn’t!” she said. “Yeah, I love full lips and wanted full lips, but growing up I was always the most confident person in the room.”
Crepes may be delectable, but crepey skin? Not so much.
The term describes skin that, like crepe paper, appears thin and crinkled and typically lacks the elasticity, thickness and firmness of youthful skin.
“Crepey skin is primarily an aesthetic concern but it can also be indicative of potential health issues,” board-certified dermatologist Dr. Shoshana Marmon told HuffPost. “Since it usually develops as a result of substantial sun damage, individuals with crepey skin may be at increased risk for the development of skin cancer. Additionally, since crepey skin is thinner and less elastic, it may be more susceptible to bruising and tearing, which could lead to infection if not properly cared for.”
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Plenty of creams and lotions claim to alleviate the appearance of crepey skin, and anyone who wants to take care of it quickly can seek doctor-administered treatments. We spoke with experts who weighed in on what works best and whether there’s anything you can do to prevent crepey skin from forming in the first place.
Why and when crepey skin forms.
As Marmon hinted, crepey skin primarily results from sun exposure. “A frequent misunderstanding is that crepey skin develops solely from aging, but lifestyle factors like sun exposure and smoking are significant contributors,” she said. “While everyone is susceptible to crepey skin, people with lighter skin tones, who are more prone to sun damage, are particularly at risk.”
Sun exposure causes the skin to lose volumedue to dehydration. “It doesn’t store water the same because the integrity of the skin is damaged,” board-certified dermatologist Dr. Shani Francis told HuffPost. That leads to degradation of collagen and elastin, the proteins that hold water and therefore help the skin keep its structure.
Any ultraviolet exposure, even from tanning beds, can lead to the formation of crepey skin. “It’s really not the sun itself — it’s ultraviolet radiation,” Francis explained. “Any type of ultraviolet radiation exposure is going to damage and degrade the collagen and the elastin tissues.”
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Genetics play a factor, too. “If you look at your parents, if they have crepey skin, you know you need to start the process of preventing a little bit earlier,” Francis said.
According to Marmon, many women begin to notice crepey skin around the time they hit menopause because the drop in estrogen during that time speeds up the decrease in collagen and elastin, resulting in a thinning of the skin with a loss of moisture and fat.
“It starts around middle age and gets worse as we age,” Francis reiterated. “The elastic fibers, they start off very strong. Twenty-something-, 30-something-year-olds, their skin snaps right back. Once you get to 40, it doesn’t quite work that way.”
Board-certified dermatologist Dr. Noëlle S. Sherber told HuffPost that crepey skin from UV damage usually shows up around the eyes, the chest and the backs of the hands. Some people also see it above the knees and on the inner arms.
What you can do to prevent crepey skin.
Wearing sunscreen may seem like the obvious way to ward off crepey skin, but Francis said another method may be more effective.
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“You can’t see light through your clothes — that’s better,” she said, “Sunglasses, a hat, those things are always better than sunscreen because they’re on and in place. Sunscreen doesn’t last. It’s not permanent. Sun protection instead of sunscreen is much more comprehensive. I always tell people, think of sunscreen as your last line of defense.”
<img class="img-sized__img landscape" loading="lazy" alt="Sun exposure causes the skin to lose volume due to dehydration, giving the skin a crepey appearance.” width=”720″ height=”482″ src=”https://www.wellnessmaster.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/so-thats-why-your-skin-gets-crepey-as-you-get-older-1.jpg”>
Nancybelle Gonzaga Villarroya via Getty Images
Sun exposure causes the skin to lose volume due to dehydration, giving the skin a crepey appearance.
For the areas that clothing and accessories can’t cover, apply sunscreen. The American Academy of Dermatologyrecommends a water-resistant one that offers broad-spectrum protection with SPF 30 or higher.
Some over-the-counter options to try for crepey skin.
Marmon wants to temper expectations of seeing results from over-the-counter treatments claiming to eliminate the appearance of crepey skin. “While creams, moisturizers, lotions and especially sunscreen are helpful in maintaining skin health, eliminating all signs of aging is pretty much impossible,” she said.
However, with regular use, topical products with ingredients such as retinoids, alpha hydroxy acids, peptides, growth factors, hyaluronic acid and antioxidants can help to stimulate collagen production, therefore improving skin quality.
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“These products generally take several months before you see their potential benefit,” Sherber warned, adding that a high price tag doesn’t equate to a higher likelihood for results. “A misconception is that only high-end skin care products can combat crepey skin, when in fact, consistent use is far more important than the price tag.”
You want to make sure the moisturizer you pick also contains water to rehydrate the skin. “Water is the number one hydrator,” Francis said. “A big mistake people make is coating skin with oil when they’re already dehydrated because all that’s going to do is improve the barrier.”
Francis particularly loves products with niacinamide, a form of vitamin B3, as a way to help alleviate the appearance of crepey skin. It can also be taken as a supplement.
Sherber offered an easy way to test whether a moisturizer is thick enough to properly hydrate: “When you open the jar and flip it upside down, if it doesn’t drip, then it should be a good barrier support product.”
Doctor-administered treatments to address crepey skin.
On May 15, the Food and Drug Administration approved the first skin booster, Skinvive by Juvederm, to improve skin smoothness in adults over 21. The booster is an injectable hyaluronic acid with a serum texture that has been used for years overseas, where they refer to it as Volite. “Unlike fillers, which volumize, skin boosters replenish skin’s deep hydration and can give fantastic results for skin quality improvement, especially in thin-skinned areas that are prone to crepey texture,” Sherber explained.
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Other injectables, like Radiesse and Sculptra, stimulate the body to synthesize collagen. Options such as radio frequency skin tightening and fractional non-ablative lasers stimulate the body’s natural healing process, leading to the production of new collagen and elastin that promotes thicker and more elastic skin. “Both can significantly improve skin quality,” Sherber said.
For certain anatomical areas, such as around the eyes, she suggested neuromodulators like Botox for reducing crinkling.
Still, “while we can somewhat improve the appearance of crepey skin, the aging process is ongoing and inevitable,” Marmon said. “It is important to have realistic expectations in terms of what to expect from anti-aging products regardless of what they claim to do. Aging is a natural part of life and much better than the alternative.”
Jennifer Aniston, who became famous in her 20s, just revealed the one phrase she hates hearing.
The 54-year-old “Friends” alum, who regaled British Vogue this week with her workout regimen and lifestyle routine, shared she detests when people say, “You look good for your age,” because she currently feels younger, happier and healthier than ever.
“It drives me bananas,” she told the outlet about the phrase. “That’s a habit of society that we have these markers like, ‘Well, you’re at that stage, so for your age…’ I don’t even understand what it means. I’m in better shape than I was in my twenties.”
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“I feel better in my mind, body and spirit,” Aniston continued. “It’s all 100% better.”
Aniston famously made her name with “Friends,” which spanned 10 seasons and chronicled the lives of six 20-somethings living in New York City. Aniston got hooked on endorphins after a back injury and decided to forge ahead.
“I had to retrain my brain,” she told British Vogue, adding she sought out a functional fitness company named Pvolve. “It used to be pounding, pounding, pounding. You had to get 45 minutes to an hour of cardio; otherwise, you weren’t getting a workout.”
Aniston continued, “Not only do you stress your body, you burn out — who wants to do that at all?”
Aniston said she used to “burn out,” but has shifted from excessive to low-impact workouts.
Jordan Strauss/Invision/Associated Press
Aniston, who deems CrossFit “too aggressive,” recently told InStyle her physical therapist gave her a Barbie doll covered in Kinesio tape — a bandage used for athletes with injured or overused muscles — “to show every injury I’ve had in the last 15 years.”
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While frustrated about the expectation to “feel the burn” every time she exercises, she said one of her friends “completely transformed her body” during the pandemic — and that her visible energy inspired Aniston to seek out Pvolve’s low-impact program in 2021.
She said “old-school ’90s hip-hop” and more contemporary acts help her in the gym.
“Doing your own workout by yourself, meh,” Aniston told InStyle. “If you get some good music going, you can have fun, but I like to be guided. It’s too easy for me to do things less correctly than I should. I’m really into Lizzo right now, I love Rihanna, of course.”
While Aniston used to believe “45 minutes of cardio” per day was essential if she wanted to “get a good workout,” she said it “broke” her body. She added her new approach has been much more effective — despite her least favorite phrase being bandied about.
Kim Cattrall isn’t saying no to going under the knife ― anymore.
The “Sex and the City” star used to say she would never undergo plastic surgery, but recently confessed she now has a different view.
“I probably said that in my forties! I’m in my sixties now and I’m all about battling aging in every way I can,” she said in an interview with the U.K.’s Sunday Times published over the weekend. “There are so many other alternatives now, treatments that stimulate your own body to fight aging.”
“There are fillers, Botox, there’s so many different things that you can investigate and try and see if it’s for you,” she continued. “But yes, if you have the money and, more importantly, the right surgeon. It can’t be emphasized enough. You want to look like you.”
Cattrall said she wants to look like “the best version of myself” because she plays “a certain kind of woman who looks a certain kind of way. And professionally I am looking after myself.”
“Whatever I can do,” she added. “Because thankfully I have funds to do so.”
The “How I Met Your Father” star told the Daily Mail in 2011 that she looked up to actors who shunned radical measures to try to keep their appearances young.
“I look at people like Judi Dench, who’s in her 70s, and I think, ‘What the hell am I frightened of?’” she told the outlet at the time. “In my life and career I want to embrace aging because I think that’s what’s interesting.”
“I think a forehead without any lines doesn’t tell me they’ve lived a life,” Cattrall said then.