Everything You Need To Know About Aging, Family Planning And Parenting

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Everything You Need To Know About Aging And Your Finances

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Everything You Need To Know About Aging And Culture

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Everything You Need To Know About Aging And Your Body

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Drinking Is Probably Aging You Much More Than You Realize

It’s no surprise that enjoying several beers or gin and tonics a few times a week isn’t necessarily healthy. But you may not be aware how much it ages you.

As you grow older, you start to metabolize alcohol at a slower rate, according to Elizabeth Trattner, a Miami-based acupuncture physician and nutritionist. The longer the booze stays in your system, the more alcohol builds up in your bloodstream, which puts you at greater risk for damaging effects.

For example, a study published in the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health found that people who drank excessively were 33 percent more likely to have age-related gray rings around the corneas of their eyes. That condition, called arcus senilis, doesn’t typically occur until at least age 60.

Curious how else your bar nights might be affecting you? Below is a breakdown of just how alcohol takes a toll on your body and mind, making you look and feel older than you should ― plus some advice on how to cut back but still cut loose.

Alcohol can lead to wrinkles and broken blood vessels.

Just one night out drinking can dehydrate your skin to a point where wrinkles and fine lines become temporarily more noticeable, according to Carol Ann Goodman, a board-certified physician at Bella Vi Spa & Aesthetics in Indiana. It’s even worse for people who have naturally dry skin.

If heavy drinking is a regular thing, you could face some potentially irreversible skin damage.

“Alcohol also causes blood vessels at the skin’s surface to dilate,” Goodman said. “For intermittent drinkers, this causes temporary skin flushing. However, over time, the capillaries can dilate so much that they actually burst, creating visible red and purple veins, especially across the face and cheeks.” 

While your skin can regain its supple and dewy complexion after several days of rehydration, broken blood vessels are a lot harder to fix.

“Once the changes of broken blood vessels have developed, those will not reverse on their own,” Goodman said. “Treatments such as laser therapy and some topical products can help to improve the appearance.”

Thankfully, it’s much easier to keep your skin hydrated in the first place. Kristin Koskinen, a registered dietitian nutritionist based in Washington, recommends drinking at least one glass of water before you take your first sip of wine and then “alternating alcoholic beverages with non-alcoholic ones, including seltzer water, orange juice spritzers or even still water.”

Drinking water between alcoholic beverages “will combat ethanol-induced dehydration, which will help your skin to look better the next day,” Koskinen said.

It can also aggravate other skin conditions.

While those dark circles under your eyes, sometimes referred to as allergic shiners, can be caused by a lot of factors (including, obviously, allergies), your after-work wine isn’t helping. When alcohol dehydrates your body, it’s easier to see the blood vessels on that part of your face.

According to Trattner, the sugar in alcohol can also upset your microbiome ― that is, the bacteria and other microbes in your body. This disruption could make acne, rosacea and conditions like discoid eczema and psoriasis worse post-alcohol consumption.

Vesna Andjic via Getty Images

It undermines your sleep, which is never good. 

Alcohol stresses your body, which can manifest in a lot of different ways, including bloating, insomnia, other sleep problems and a lack of concentration the following day. 

Despite how tired alcohol may initially make you feel — the National Sleep Foundation reports that 20 percent of people actually use booze to fall asleep — it can seriously disrupt your rest by reducing rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. The more you drink, the worse it will be.

“Alcohol may seem to be helping you to sleep, as it helps induce sleep, but overall it is more disruptive to sleep, particularly in the second half of the night,” Irshaad Ebrahim, medical director at The London Sleep Centre, told WebMD. “Alcohol also suppresses breathing and can precipitate sleep apnea.”

And a lack of Zs can make you look older. A clinical trial conducted by physicians at the University Hospitals Case Medical Center found that people with sleep deprivation showed more signs of aging in their skin, including fine lines, uneven pigmentation and reduced elasticity.

Drinking contributes to a host of age-related conditions.

When the liver is working hard to detoxify the body from alcohol, it creates more free radicals than the body’s antioxidants can handle, which leads to something called oxidative stress. Studies have shown that oxidative stress is an important contributing factor in aging.

Although free radicals play their own role in protecting your health, when they’re not kept in balance by antioxidants, they begin to damage your fatty tissue, DNA and proteins. That damage can, in turn, contribute to diabetes, heart disease, neurodegenerative illnesses and other age-related conditions you want to avoid.

It can harm the overall quality of your life.

Another reason to limit your alcohol intake is that it’s one of the main culprits for those extra pounds you’ve mysteriously put on. Not only are boozy drinks often empty calories with little to no nutrients, but alcohol can cause people to eat more food.  

Miami real estate agent Alina Freyre said she and her husband, Andy Freyre, stopped drinking two years ago. Alina promised Andy that if he got sober, so would she. Not only did they lose weight — 50 pounds for her and 80 pounds for him — but she said it was the “best thing that has ever happened” to them.

“We are different people inside and out, and we feel we are in a new relationship with each other and our kids,” Alina said. “I am huge on taking care of my skin and not only did drinking affect that, but it also affects how you care about how you present yourself. I feel 10 years younger.”

Joy Manning, a Philadelphia-based freelance writer and creator of the Instagram account Better Without Booze, can also attest to the life-changing effects of sobriety. She said she just celebrated her 600th day of not drinking.

Soon after giving up alcohol, Manning said her skin seemed softer and more glowing. She also lost 30 pounds and discovered that other healthy habits she had been chasing for years were finally sticking.

“I think that’s because drinking is a spiral,” she said. “Now I sleep well every night and work out vigorously, while before a couple of glasses of wine would make me want to eat pizza. Being alcohol-free really laid the foundation of a supportive lifestyle for being what I want my body to be.”

Junjira Konsang / EyeEm via Getty Images

You can cut back on drinking.

A 2017 study published in JAMA Psychiatry found the number of adults in the United States who regularly consumed alcohol went from 65 percent in 2002 to 73 percent in 2013. Additionally, high-risk drinking — which is considered four or more drinks for women and five or more for men on a single occasion — went up 30 percent in the same time frame. So not only are more of us drinking, but we’re drinking more.

If you’re questioning your relationship with alcohol, Manning suggested that you first try to go 30 days without it and see how you feel. But that doesn’t mean you should also give up your social life. She said the worst thing you can do during this process is isolate yourself.

Instead, Manning encouraged people to go out with their friends, even if they’re all going to a bar. Socializing without a beer in your own hand will help to break the mental link between having fun and consuming alcohol.

“Try to find some fun, nonalcoholic beverages that taste good,” she said. “It helps to have something in your hand ― that goes a long way. The first time might feel weird but the more you do it, the less weird it is.” (Try one of these satisfying mocktails instead.)

The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism also suggests keeping track of how much you’re drinking, which you can do on a piece of paper in your wallet or an app on your phone. Identify your triggers — what’s giving you the urge to drink — and find ways to avoid them.

The more you cut down on the booze, the more your body will thank you for it.

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I Finally Figured Out When To Retire. It Was Yesterday.

Ann Brenoff’s “On The Fly” is a column about navigating growing older ― and a few other things.

One of my closest friends at college in New Jersey was a woman from a large and loving Italian family. Her ancient Sicilian grandma had lived with my friend and her family for my friend’s entire life ― all 20 years or so of it. Grandma, who moved in after Grandpa died decades earlier, wasn’t exactly a happy camper as she crept into her 90s. Many of her body parts had already betrayed her, and she was living with fairly constant pain. Grandma was never shy about letting anyone within earshot know that if she had her druthers, she’d have dropped dead long ago.

“I want to die,” was her oft-repeated refrain, to which she would add the uncomfortable finish, “but I don’t know how.” Her words stuck with me for decades. There are certain natural progressions in life that we are just never taught how to do.

With no disrespect toward the gravity of Grandma’s situation, that’s how I’ve been seeing my retirement. I’ll be 69 in a couple of months, and until just a few weeks ago, I couldn’t figure out how to pull the plug on my work life.

How do you know when it’s time to retire, especially from a great job you love? I tested out various theories, including the one that says retirement doesn’t need to be such an abrupt life transition. Make it gradual, work part-time, ease off the fast track and test out the waters of redefining who you are. Hell, even parents get a nine-month gestation period to get used to the idea of a child before the big day arrives.

I worried about how I would stay current without my posse of millennial co-workers to turn to. Who would teach me the secret handshake that allowed me to connect to people younger than me, which at this point is probably most of the planet? 

And then, of course, there was my ego and identity. “I-am-what-I-do syndrome,” prevalent among baby boomers, has kept many a therapist in business and I stand guilty as charged. Truth is, I love telling the stranger in the plane seat next to me that I’m a staff writer for HuffPost (and before that, the Los Angeles Times). Would the eyes of these strangers, whom I will never see again, still widen slightly? And will it bother Shallow Ann if they don’t? Or the more serious version of this: Will all my accomplishments get sent to the garage in a box marked “memorabilia” when I retire, waiting for my kids to hopefully discover later?

Anyway, I suspect that not unlike Grandma had done, I’ve been quietly waiting and hoping for a cataclysmic sign from the universe, a trigger event outside my control that would set in motion my retirement. In both our cases ― mine and Grandma’s ― that event just didn’t happen fast enough, and no matter how or where we looked for guidance, we mostly found platitudes. I remember how Grandma once threw a plate of food to the ground when a dinner guest dismissed her for saying that she wished her life would end already. 

“Oh, you don’t really mean that!” the naive guest said, learning very quickly that indeed, Grandma did. 

Me? I’m a journalist who loves being one. While pretty much everything else in my life has been fluid and ever-changing ― single woman to married lady, East Coaster to West Coaster, childless to parent, wife to widow ― the one constant has been that I’m a journalist. A proud and happy one at that. It’s been the rare day in more than 45 years of writing and reporting that I wasn’t eager to go to work.

So why stop now? Why stop at all?

The short answer is this: Because I can. And that doesn’t come from winning the lottery, but from changing my perspective. While I may not have enough money saved to last me for the rest of my years, there is something much more important that I’m afraid of running out of.

It’s time ― at least, healthy time. 

Truth is, I can’t think of a greater kick in the ass than to have been my husband’s caregiver for a painful and relentlessly miserable 18 months, only to lose him to death in January of 2017. My take-away from the experience ― besides that caregiving sucks big-time and family caregivers are getting royally screwed ― is that life is short and a healthy life even shorter. 

I don’t want to miss out on what’s left of mine. I’ve learned much in my journey to get to this point of being ready to retire, including the fact that I pretty much hate it when people refer to their lives as journeys. Lives are more important than journeys because everyone gets better-served when we stop focusing on ourselves. Take that advice and apply it liberally.

Which is what I plan to do as well. I will write a funny/sad/irreverent book and hope you will read it. I will travel to all those places I want to see before my body becomes disinterested in joining me. I will play loud music every day, dance around the kitchen while I cook and only drink good wine because, as the T-shirt preaches, “Life is too short for bad wine.” I have fallen in love again with both life and a terrific guy I plan to share mine with. My kids are (almost) solidly on their paths to improve the world, and my dark tunnel is now filled with light. I’m happy.

So yes, I am retiring. I’ve been pushed over the edge as a caregiver, buried alive in the grief of loss, and found my bearings again through forces of nature I may never fully understand. And I’ve had the therapeutic gift of being able to share it all with others through HuffPost. Readers have thanked me for putting into words what they felt, but I always thought that the gratitude should flow in the other direction. Thank you for reading. Thank you for making me feel relevant. Thank you for letting me share my life with you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And to the friend who asked me recently if I had any regrets or things I would do over, I can only say I wish Grandma had better aim when she sent that dinner plate my way. Maybe I would have woken up sooner.

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Adaptive Clothing Brands That Make Getting Dressed Easier

It’s been a good year for inclusive fashion.

Still, shoppers with special needs are looking for clothing with very specific features, like tear-away tags, zipperless designs, no buttons, sensory-friendly and clinically accessible for certain treatments. They can be hard to find, but not impossible to find.

Fortunately, places like Target and Zappos are expanding their adaptive clothing collections to fit the needs of more people than ever before. To make the search easier, we’ve pulled together some of the best and most well-known brands creating clothing for a variety of special needs.

Below, 14 adaptive clothing brands that make getting dressed easier: 

HuffPost may receive a share from purchases made via links on this page.

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Why It’s So Hard To Recover After Drinking As You Get Older

Chances are hangovers feel worse and recovery after a long night gets to be a difficult process the more birthdays you have under your belt. It’s no surprise from a biological standpoint: When your body changes as you age, its ability to process alcohol also changes.

“When you’re young, you have a lot of plasticity in how you respond to things that are toxic,” said George Koob, director of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. “You lose some of that as you get older.”

As you age, a long night of imbibing can get riskier. In recent years, alcohol abuse and dependence have more than doubled among older people. Your body also just can’t keep up in the moment.

“What used to be a normal amount of alcohol you could drink and not get overly intoxicated now changes,” explained James Galligan, a professor of pharmacology and toxicology at Michigan State University. “Because your system doesn’t work as well [when you’re older], you’re likely to end up with higher blood alcohol levels than you would’ve when you were much younger.”

So how exactly does your body respond to alcohol when you’re no longer in your 20s?

Your body doesn’t metabolize alcohol as effectively when you’re older

Alcohol is neutralized in a two-step process that takes place in the liver, according to David Sack, the chief medical officer of Elements Behavioral Health. 

“Alcohol is converted to acetaldehyde, which is responsible for a lot of the negative effects of alcohol like headaches, flushing and dizziness,” he said. It’s then converted to acetic acid, which is excreted in urine.

The system works well in younger people, Galligan said.

“But just like anything else, when you get older, things don’t work like they used to,” he added. “As people begin to get into their 60s or 70s, the enzymes that metabolize alcohol don’t work as well.”

Just like anything else, when you get older, things don’t work like they used to. James Galligan, professor of pharmacology and toxicology at Michigan State University

“Some of that may be the result of the normal aging process, but part of it may be due to illness,” Sack said. “Moderate to heavy drinkers can cause injury to their liver. They have changes in the efficiency in which their liver processes alcohol.”

A recent study found that both the brain and the liver are more sensitive to the toxicity of alcohol as you age, affecting your response to liquor. In turn, what you normally drank when you were younger will have a greater effect when you get older, Galligan noted.

A number of lifestyle factors play a role in how you process alcohol as you age

Your proportion of body fat as you get older is one factor in how your body processes alcohol, Sack said.

“Alcohol, unlike most other drugs, is only distributed in the water parts of the body. So if you have less water to body fat, more of the alcohol reaches the organ,” he said. 

Other illnesses can also contribute to the inefficient metabolism of alcohol. Hepatitis C, for instance, can affect the liver’s ability to clear alcohol and other drugs, Sack noted.

Using more medications can also play an enormous role in how you process alcohol, according to Koob. “The elderly tend to take a lot of medications, and some can interact in a bad way with alcohol like Xanax or Valium, for instance,” he said.

How long you’ve consumed alcohol across a lifetime can also affect how you process liquor

If you ever drank while underage, that may also play a role in how you metabolize alcohol, Koob said. In fact, underage drinking is even associated with impairment of cognitive function.

“Excess drinking can affect the frontal cortex, which is the slowest part of the brain to mature and why they advocate against underage drinking,” he added.

And over time, heavy drinking itself can affect how you process alcohol in the future, Sack noted.

“There are people who started drinking in their 20s and 30s and are now in their 60s that tend to have more emotional problems like depression, drink more continuously and have more treatment for alcohol-related problems,” Sack said. “And there are those who start drinking when they’re older, as in their 50s and 60s, who tend to be healthier and have fewer consequences.”

The liver has a lot of excess capacity if you don’t keep injuring it. David Sack, chief medical officer of Elements Behavioral Health

While the health benefits of drinking a glass of red wine or two have made headlines recently, the studies are mixed and moderation is ultimately key to your health, Sack said. And surprisingly, hangovers don’t always worsen with age, as one study found ― but it truly depends on your lifestyle.

“The liver has a lot of excess capacity if you don’t keep injuring it,” Sack said. “It’s an amazing organ.” 

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There’s Nothing Wrong With Those Of Us Who Want To Color Our Gray Hair

Ann Brenoff’s “On The Fly” is a weekly column about navigating growing older ― and a few other things.

I believe that gray hair can be beautiful, which is not to say I ever want a single strand of it to sprout from my head. I admire women who can pull off having close-cropped white tresses or salt-and-pepper manes cascading down their backs. But me? Never going to happen. I will be the old lady in the nursing home who, with her last dying breath, asks for a touchup.

And for those who think there is something wrong with my devotion to keeping my gray hair at bay, I can only say this: My hair, my choice, and none of your damn beeswax.

The pressure is intense these days for older women to stop coloring their gray hair and instead embrace it in the name of accepting the aging process. 

The gray-positive movement touts the benefits of going gray, calling it liberating, empowering, and evidence that the owner of a headful of gray hair is someone comfortable in her own body. Much is made of the idea that by allowing your hair to go gray, it means you are unafraid of aging or growing old in a society that values youth and equates it with beauty. 

That’s all well and good. But I feel pretty much all those same things every time I reach for a box of L’Oréal.

To each his own, I say, and the gray-hair positive movement needn’t worry about my acceptance of my age. My pain in my left knee already does a perfectly fine job of letting me know that I am 68, and probably doesn’t need an assist from my scalp.

Sadly, we seem to have skipped a step when we made the cultural shift from our mothers’ generation, which was expected to painfully pluck out gray hairs with a tweezer as soon as they were spotted, to the current trend where women claim their decision to go gray is empowering. We skipped the part where everyone should really just get to do what they want, and everybody else should just shut up about it. 

We seem to have skipped … the part where everyone should really just get to do what they want, and everybody else should just shut up about it.

If flying your freak flag gray emboldens you, I say go for it. If it helps you feel stronger and more self-confident because you no longer care what others think, good for you. As Janis Joplin sang to us long ago, “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.” Of course, life gets a whole lot easier when you aren’t trying to meet other people’s expectations. Welcome to the club, my gray-haired-by-choice friends.

Here’s a news flash for you: Mine are the only expectations I’m trying to meet. And my choice is not to have gray hair. Yet somehow that translates into a lack of acceptance from those who sport a headful of gray ― and who often want to tout the emotional well-being and enlightenment they experienced from going natural.

May I just say: There is nothing wrong with those of us who still want to color our gray hair. We are not trying to deny the aging process, nor are we trying to avoid looking our age. Nope, it’s not that at all.

I happen to think gray hair looks great on some people. I am just not one of them. I would no sooner dye my hair blonde, either. I don’t have the skin tone or complexion for it. Unlike my dark brown head of shoulder-length hair, it wouldn’t look right on me.

At the heart of the gray-positive trend is the idea that you shouldn’t do anything except accept yourself the way you are. I’d just ask that those who found enlightenment by no longer coloring their gray just let me do precisely that.

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Lea DeLaria Gets Candid About Her Wild Tour Days, Sex With Younger Women And Turning 60

No, your eyes aren’t deceiving you: Lea DeLaria is about to turn 60.

From becoming the first openly gay comic to perform on broadcast TV in America in 1993 to winning accolades for her performance as Big Boo on HBO’s “Orange Is The New Black,” the preternaturally youthful star has lived many lives during her almost six decades on our fair planet. And she doesn’t intend to give up the spotlight ― or her penchant for younger women ― anytime soon.

A month before she celebrates the big milestone ― and takes to the stage in New York City with her friends Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Sandra Bernhard and Alan Cumming for a special birthday show titled “This Is What 60 Looks Like, Bitches!” ― DeLaria talked to HuffPost about growing older in Hollywood, the perks of becoming a “daddy” and why she never worries about dying.

It’s honestly really odd for me to be turning 60 next month because I never thought I’d make it this far. In my 20s I was convinced that I was going to be shot by some creepy Christian at a gay pride rally. By the time I was 30, I was certain I’d be dead by the time I was 40 — and if you knew me then, you’d understand why.

I was living an incredibly wild life in my 30s. I had become a very well-known performer in San Francisco when I was in my 20s and then, in 1993, I became well-known around the world because I was the first openly gay comic to perform on television in America.

Back then I was traveling all over the fucking place performing constantly in front of lesbians in every country. Anywhere that people understood English, there I was being a very out, very in-your-face dyke and enjoying the insane life that came with that kind of intense touring.

Scott Thompson, from The Kids in the Hall, loves to tell a story about when he was staying with me at the Edinburgh Festival in 1993. He came downstairs to the bedroom I was staying in and said, “Lea, there’s someone here for you at the door,” and I said, “Oh yeah, that’s Nicki, I’ve got a date with her tonight.” And he goes, “Yes, well, remember the girl you fucked last night? She’s here too! It’s like a French farce!” Scott loves that story — the fact that there were these two women in my living room waiting for me really summed up my life at that time.

So I was shocked that I made it to 40. And then once I hit 40, I became a leading lady on Broadway and I assumed my demise would come at the hands of some jealous chorus girl. I always think I’m never going to make it through whatever decade I’m in, but here I am at 60 and absolutely fucking no one believes I’m this old. I have been blessed with amazing genes because looking this young has absolutely nothing to do with taking care of myself, I assure you!

This is who I am and I’m not going to tame my radical dyke image and personality just because I’m getting older. That’s just not going to happen.

Since I’ve been moderately famous since I was 22 — essentially my entire adult life — I’m never quite sure how to respond when someone asks me, “How is getting older different when you’re famous?” I guess they’re usually referring to the ultra fame that I have achieved thanks to “Orange Is The New Black.”

Because of that fame, I think everything in my life is more scrutinized and, in some ways, I’m always under the microscope, but part of me doesn’t give a fuck — for certain there will never be any fucks given! That’s why I get my crowds to chant, “Fuck Trump!” This is who I am and I’m not going to tame my radical dyke image and personality just because I’m getting older. That’s just not going to happen. But the flip side of that is, now that I’m older, I also pick and choose my battles more carefully.

When I was younger, I was full of a lot of rage — and rightfully so. The world was a very different place 40 years ago — especially for someone who looked like me. I mean, they have clubs for gay people in high school now! You know what the club for lesbians at my high school was called? PE. Because I was filled with so much rage and the hubris of youth, I wasted a lot of time preaching feminism to straight boys that didn’t give a fuck. I refuse to do that now. I’ve learned to be smarter with my time and energy. So you’re not going to find me going to a KKK rally and talking about gay rights with those assholes, but if they come at me, I’m going to have a lot to say to them.

It’s obviously much harder to get older as a woman — famous or not — because our society doesn’t allow women to grow old gracefully. That’s just part of living in a heterosexist society. Men are always allowed to become “an older gentleman.” If I’m considered the lesbian Jack Nicholson — which we all know I am — and I go out with a younger woman, people tend to let that slide. But if I was a straight woman and I went out with a younger man, they’d make a note of that, wouldn’t they? Men can go out with young women and nobody ever says a fucking thing about it. They write parts for older men. They don’t write parts for older women.

Even in this supposed “Year of the Woman,” during pilot season I saw a lot of things that have been written for women, but it’s always the same kind of role. There were a few roles for older women too, but when people in the industry talk about championing diversity, there’s still such a narrow definition of what is considered acceptable. The casting directors and producers and executives still only want thin, beautiful women. For all of the talk about how “Orange Is The New Black” changed television by offering diversity and showing the different kinds of women that exist in the world, it’s still business as usual in Hollywood.

That being said, in my personal life, it could not be a better time for me to be an older butch dyke. Now the whole “daddy” thing is really big with dykes. It’s always been a part of gay male culture but not so much in lesbian culture. But now, all the younger women are really into getting with an older butch — a daddy, basically. And honey, I am the personification of a daddy! [Laughs] I’ve always been into younger women — just look at the women I’ve dated. It’s mostly because I’m deeply immature. I’m a 16-year-old boy in a suit — that’s who I am. That’s also one of the reasons that I think younger women are attracted to me. Women my own age have very little patience for me. [Laughs]

Lea DeLaria says she's "still incredibly active sexually and I've never really been monogamous."

Sex hasn’t changed for me at all. In fact, my ex-fiancée, Chelsea Fairless — we’re keeping the age-old lesbian tradition of remaining incredibly close after breaking up — said, “I think you should fuck every woman in the world because every woman in the world should have that experience at least once.” [Laughs] It was an amazing compliment. Chelsea is 26 years younger than me and not only was I keeping up with her — I was running her ragged!

I’m still incredibly active sexually and I’ve never really been monogamous — ever. In my 20s, my girlfriends always thought I was monogamous, but I wasn’t! [Laughs] I’ve always been that person. When I came out, feminism was a big part of being a lesbian and we were all lesbian feminists and feminists believe that monogamy is a tool that the patriarchy uses to enslave women. So, in order to be a good feminist, you had to fuck as many women as you could — and I was a pretty great feminist! [Laughs] I’m still out there banging away.

My comedy hasn’t changed either — because I staunchly refuse to change it. My work has always been observational and personal and political. As a result of approaching my comedy in this way, I can always talk about what’s currently going on in my life — like going through menopause, for example. To me, that’s so fucking political because nobody talks about menopause. Nobody! There are so many things about menopause — even as a feminist — that I had no fucking clue about! The way I approach that on stage is like “let me be the one to tell you this shit because apparently nobody else will.” All anyone ever talks about is how you’re going to be bitchy! So it’s funny and it’s observational and it’s from that political feminist perspective that says we need to be in control of our own bodies.

If you see me on stage at any point — whether I’m giving a concert, whether I’m speaking at a university, or whether it’s purely stand-up — you’re going to be hearing me use “fuck” as a noun, a verb and a gerund in every sentence just like I always have and you’re going to hear me screaming at the current presidential administration. That’s been my take on stand-up comedy since I started doing it when I was just 22 years old. I could never waste my time talking about something stupid like losing my fucking socks in the dryer and I can’t imagine that ever changing.

Still, getting older has meant that I’ve had to do some things differently. I love when people say “middle age” — this is not middle age. I’m in the twilight of my life, so I have to consider the things that people do at this age. And as great as my genes are, I have had some physical issues. I just had my left knee replaced four months ago. I contracted diabetes three years ago and everything related to my food intake and exercising has changed for me since then. I’ve lost almost 60 pounds because of it.

But I still stay out until 4 o’clock in the morning. I can still dance all night. That’s why the title of my concert is “This Is What 60 Looks Like, Bitches!” I think in a lot of ways — and it’s not just me, it’s everywhere — the way our culture thinks about aging is significantly different now than how it used to be. People used to think of 60 as very old. I don’t think people think that way about 60 anymore. Maybe very young people do? So I have to accept that I have to take certain medication and I need a certain amount of exercise a day — especially with my knee — but I’m still going out every night and I’m still enjoying my life. I still have that joie de vivre that I’ve always had and hopefully nothing will slow that down. I’m planning on being George Burns and living well into my 100s, all the while surrounded by gorgeous women.

I’m definitely not worrying about dying. … I came of age during the AIDS crisis. I’ve seen so much death because of it and I literally have no clue how many of my friends died from the disease. I stopped counting at 86.

Until then, I intend to commemorate every milestone I reach. I’ve always been crazy about my birthday and I celebrate it for an entire week like Hanukkah. Every day I do something different and then the week culminates with the big day and cake and everything else the best birthday party you can imagine would have. I will go out all night long, I will party with my friends, I will tell everyone I meet that it’s my birthday all day long every second of the day.

I remember when I was in the Broadway revival of “The Rocky Horror Show” and the whole cast went out every night of my birthday week. At the time, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who is my best friend and who is joining me on stage next month for my birthday show, came out with me every single night. I’m 20 years older than him — I was in my 40s and he was in his 20s ― and he was like, “How can you do this?!” He was dying. He was just dying. So on the seventh day, at 4 o’clock in the morning, I said, “I’m having so much fun, I think I’m going to have a birthday fortnight!” And Jesse stood up and said, “I’m out! I have to get some sleep! You’re doing the second week without me!” [Laughs]

But I’ve never been worried about getting enough sleep and even though I’m approaching my last chapter, so to speak, I’m definitely not worrying about dying — at all. Every day I get closer to death and I accepted that a long time ago. I think part of that was because I came of age during the AIDS crisis. I’ve seen so much death because of it and I literally have no clue how many of my friends died from the disease. I stopped counting at 86. I was there fighting. I sang at Bobbi Campbell’s memorial. This is what we dealt with. I’ve been looking death in the face my whole life — my whole life.

Living through that time taught me to live every moment. “Now is the time” is my motto. That means to be present. Be aware. Listen. Listening is a really important tool that most of us do not use. It’s probably the most important tool that we need to survive. Listen. Be present. Believe in yourself. Love yourself. Give no fucks. Then go. That’s what I think I know now. These are the things that I learned from living through that time. Oh, and take every chance you get to celebrate your life, whether it’s your birthday — or birthday week — or just a regular Tuesday.

Lea DeLaria’s birthday show, “This Is What 60 Looks Like, Bitches!” will take place on May 23, 2018, at Sony Hall in New York City. For ticket information, head here. For more from DeLaria, including other upcoming appearances, visit her official website and follow her on Twitter and Instagram

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