Tag Archives: Abundance

Units of Meaning

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On Monday’s live quarterly planning review call in Conscious Growth Club – which spanned more than 5 hours – I shared some tips about thinking in units of meaning rather than units of time.

Many years ago I tried a system of writing 4 hours per day. I did it for 30 days straight but really didn’t like it. It didn’t help me create the kind of relationship that I wanted to have with writing, and it took daily discipline to keep going with it. I felt relieved when I stopped. That might be a fine system for someone else, but it wasn’t a good fit for me.

Each day I filled the 4 hours with writing and editing, and I would stop shortly after I hit that time. The writing I produced during that time was stunted and uninspired.

A better system for me is that when I start writing a piece, I begin with an inspired idea and then do my best to finish, edit, and publish a meaningful piece the same day. It doesn’t matter whether it takes 45 minutes or 5 hours. I like to forget about the time, enter a timeless state, and enjoy the flow of ideas and energy and the feelings of connection and centeredness. Thinking about the passage of time or trying to hit a time quota or word count is entirely the wrong framing for me to do my best writing. It’s much better for me to focus on one article (or one course lesson) as a unit of meaning. It takes as long as it takes, and I prefer not to stop till it’s fully done and published.

Trying to write for 4 hours fatigues me. But writing and publishing an article energizes me, even if it takes 4+ hours. The framing I use has a huge impact on my motivation, energy flow, and enjoyment of the experience.

The Most Meaningful Step

The act of publishing is the most meaningful step in this process. When an article gets published, other people can read it, and I can also mentally let go of that piece of work. Then I can take a break and move on to something else.

Last year I published something new to my blog every single day, and it was relatively easy. If I had tried to write for an hour per day or to write 1000 words per day, I think it would have been a miserable year, but by focusing on units of meaning (i.e. daily published articles or videos), I actually enjoyed the experience.

This also aligns with what I shared in the previous post about finding your best motivational fuel. When you spend a day at Disneyland, are thinking about what you can accomplish within the span of an hour? Probably not. You’re probably just deciding what ride to go on next. Time isn’t a unit of meaning at Disneyland. Units of meaning include going on rides, seeing shows, watching parades, having a meal, taking a cool photo, and so on. A day at Disneyland is about racking up meaningful experiences. And the peak experiences will often matter more than the overall quantity of experiences.

Do you fill your days with blocks or time or with units of meaning? Which do you find more naturally motivating? Which do you find more satisfying afterwards?

If all I do in a day is publish a new article or do a CGC coaching call, that makes the day feel pretty satisfying. But if I put in 10 hours and don’t accomplish any real units of meaning because I just picked away at a bunch of minor items, the day doesn’t feel nearly as satisfying.

Having satisfying experiences is good for motivation and momentum. Putting in a lot of hours, by itself, is not. If there aren’t enough satisfying units of meaning in those hours, the hours can become draining.

Sustainable Motivational

October 1st was the 17-year anniversary of my blog, so I’m now gliding into my 18th year of continuous blogging. I still enjoy it and intend to continue.

How many other bloggers have lasted this long – especially without leaning on guest posting? I receive almost daily requests from would-be guest posters, which I just delete (sometimes in bulk). Some time ago I asked my readers if they wanted guest posts, and they were almost unanimously opposed to it. And working with guest posters feels less meaningful to me than simply writing.

I still don’t write on a set schedule. I have no weekly or monthly quota for new material. I just write and publish something new when an inspired idea strikes me, and I sense it would be worth sharing. This attitude has yielded a happy, healthy, and sustainable relationship with blogging.

One thing that keeps my motivation strong and sustainable is that I primarily work in units of meaning, not time.

When I complete a unit of work that feels meaningful to me, it means I’ve reached a good stopping point where I feel satisfied with what I’ve done. My brain is able to relax and let go of certain items because the thought energy of those items has run its course.

If I write part of an article and stop for the day, my mind is stuck with an open loop. This is neither satisfying nor restful. If I did this regularly, it would add stress and tension to my life. So almost every article, video, and audio that I’ve published was conceived, written, recorded (if necessary), edited, and published all in the same day, usually in one continuous flow of action. For longer pieces I may have taken some breaks along the way, but I generally prefer no breaks or only very short breaks. Once I start a piece, I like to stick with it till it’s 100% done and published.

Meaningful Units of Coaching

I realize that I prefer a similar frame for our group coaching calls.

It’s not a great unit of meaning to try to stop at a certain fixed time for each person or for the whole call, so we don’t really have a set time limit. I’ve tried to lean in that direction sometimes, and it never quite felt right.

It feels more natural when we reach what feels like a reasonable transition point. Maybe we didn’t get to address every possible angle, but at least we can discuss and process what feels like a healthy unit of meaning for each person. We don’t have to stop mid-thought just because we hit a certain time.

This approach is actually more energizing and less fatiguing for me than if we are leaving too many open thought loops unresolved.

Fairness is an important value, and I consider whether fairness ought to be based on time or on units of meaning. Is it fair if I talk to one person for 15 minutes and another for 30 minutes? From a time perspective, that may seem unfair. But it takes a variable amount of time to reach a good unit of meaning for each person. One person may have a straightforward challenge that takes less time to address, which another person may desire some help unraveling a more complex, multi-faceted issue.

I like to think of fairness as doing my best to offer everyone who does the live coaching a healthy unit of meaning. I like for each person to feel satisfied with what we’ve covered. I still pay attention to the time because while I’m coaching one person, other people are watching and waiting – and also sharing their own comments as we go. So I’m aware of the passage of time, but I try not to be too aware of it. I find it best to stay in tune with the meaning and purpose of what we’re doing.

If someone brings up a really thorny or emotional issue on a call, it wouldn’t feel good to stop prematurely. I want to help them take a step forward, and sometimes that takes extra time for certain kinds of problems. What happens if we’ve been talking for 20 minutes already, and now the tears start flowing? Am I really going to say, “Uh well, I feel for you, but your time is up, so let’s bring up the next person”? No, we’re not going to do that.

Even when I did one-on-one coaching, I would charge a certain amount per phone call, but there was no set time limit for the call. We only ended the call when the other person was satisfied. I was never the one to end it. We would usually talk continuously for a few hours. If we needed to, we would take a bathroom break and keep right on going. I think this was a much better way of aligning our units of meaning than if we only talked for a fixed length of time.

Ignoring the Clock

Being too mindful of the clock can ruin otherwise good experiences. Trying to hit a certain time target can you off before you cross the threshold into a great unit of meaning. I made some big mistakes there when I younger, especially when trying to wrangle my creative projects to hit arbitrary deadlines.

In Conscious Growth Club, some of our group coaching calls have been going really long lately, at least by the standards you might see in other groups. The durations of our last 4 calls were: 5:34, 4:08, 4:47, and 5:05. During each call I might coach about a dozen people.

This is a continuous flow of “work” for me, usually with zero breaks. I think maybe twice I’ve taken a quick bathroom break partway through, and then we kept right on going.

What seems to surprise some people is that my energy, focus, and enthusiasm stay high throughout these calls.

I’m sure it helps that I eat plants, exercise regularly, and sleep restfully. But I think it’s also important that I do this coaching in a way that feels motivating and not overly draining. Sometimes I do feel a bit tired after the calls, but normally that only hits me when I stop; then some parts of my brain feel like they’re going into rest mode. While I’m doing the coaching, however, I normally feel super engaged with it. Even after a 4-5 hour call, I sometimes don’t want to close Zoom and log off.

I think a key reason for this is that during the call, we rack up so many units of meaning that the experience feels very purposeful, intimate, and energizing. I also really love the mutually supportive vibe that we’ve created in the group as we help people solve problems, figure out tricky decisions, and take their desired next steps. I think I’m boosted by the positive, compassionate, and often playful energy that we create together on these calls.

We started doing these group coaching calls in 2017, and I enjoy them even more today than I did during the first year or two. Even though the calls have gotten considerably longer, the experience has somehow felt increasingly timeless, as if time matters a lot less than I originally thought it should. Meaning and purpose matter so much more than time.

On Monday we did a 5+ hour quarterly review call, which is a process we do once per quarter. This was our longest one ever. And oddly I found this call the least fatiguing one of all. In the past I would watch the clock more when preparing the reviews and also when sharing them, and this time I relaxed more regarding the time. This allowed me to share even more than usual.

I shared my commentary on the goals of 21 CGC members on the call, and my notes for the call (which took days to prepare) were more than 21,000 words. I used those notes to talk about members’ goals for 5 hours continuously with zero breaks. Even as we got to the end, my energy was still good, and I was still very much enjoying it. The main limitation was my voice’s ability to hold up for that long, and Rachelle graciously helped by bringing me some ginger tea with lemon to sip.

We have another regular coaching call this afternoon in CGC, and I’m looking forward to that as well. Interestingly it seems that the more I relax about the time and just go with the flow of the experience, transitioning based on units of meaning, that seems to yield the best motivation and enthusiasm and the least fatigue. So it’s really the same pattern I discovered with writing by applied to coaching. Ignore the clock as much as possible, and stay present to the flow of the moment.

It’s fascinating that by ignoring the clock, several hours of continuous work can feel motivating and energizing, but even one hour may feel draining if you’re stuck dwelling on the time too much.

When you’ve experienced some of the best flow of your life, feeling energized instead of drained, how much were you watching the clock?

As you flow through more activities and experiences, consider thinking in units of meaning instead of units of time. Instead of constraining your life based on days and times, allow yourself to flow through units of meaning, sticking with each one long enough until you reach a satisfying and natural transition point. Seek to discover the units of meaning that energize you instead of remaining loyal to units that deplete you.

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Upgrading My Hardware Tools

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As part of my garage decluttering project this summer, I refactored and upgraded my hardware tools. I thought some readers might enjoy seeing the before and after pics of this part of the project, especially since it’s easy to see the changes visually.

I hadn’t personally selected or bought most of my old tools. They were almost entirely hand-me-downs from my dad and grandfather, most of them decades old. A few items I picked up at swap meets last century. The overall collection was a mishmash of ugly items with some redundancy, consisting of odds and ends that other people no longer wanted.

While most of these tools were technically functional (if I lower my standards for defining the word functional), my inner relationship with this assortment of tools was pretty blah. I typically saw this collection as ugly and disorderly baggage from the past.

Did these tools spark joy? That’s an easy no. Actually it’s an easy hell no. With few exceptions this felt like someone else’s tool collection, not really my own. So I saw an opportunity to remake this part of my life in a more deliberate way.

When I began sorting through these tools, I learned that I had 17 different hex wrenches (aka Allen wrenches) but only in 6 different sizes. I had two 10″ adjustable wrenches and two 8″ adjustable wrenches, none of which were good at holding their positions when used, so I had to keep my thumb on the adjuster when using them. I had a bunch of crusty wood chisels that I’ve never used in my life. In a long line of male relatives, apparently I’m the first who isn’t into making his own furniture.

Many items were coated in substances that were last seen in Voldemort’s rez pot… if you were to remove baby V and simmer the soupy remains into a thick sludge, smear it on tools, and then bake at 450º F for 35-45 minutes.

It’s possible that some of these tools might violate California’s Prop 65 if they were sold today, not necessarily from what they were originally made of but from whatever has coated them over the years.

Old Tools

Here are some pics of the old collection. Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys!

I remember using these small screwdrivers (below) when I built my own PC in 2004.

This old power drill’s battery keeps its charge for just a few minutes, and it’s so slow that I can only use it on drywall… maybe particle board on a good day. If I ever want to use it, I always have to charge the battery first since the battery won’t hold a charge in storage.

I’d normally feel a mild sense of dread whenever I had to use this drill, so sometimes I’d prefer to use an ancient hand-crank drill instead. That hand drill wasn’t a great choice either since it was designed for right-handers, and I’m a leftie, so I either have to use it right-handed or turn the drill in a way that feels unnatural for me. That isn’t so good for safety reasons.

Here are some old flashlights, an etcher that I’ve never used, and a plug-in drill that only takes tiny bits.

Remember when Maglites were cool? Yes – the 80s. Admittedly I bought those myself… couldn’t resist the 2-pack. And I did at least use them a lot.

I had 2 old socket wrench sets, neither of which I liked. One had a broken extender – the small metal ball bearing fell out of it, so it wouldn’t stay in place.

At the bottom of this toolbox was a gooey substance I couldn’t identify – I think that substance may have moved by itself one time, and I’m pretty sure it would emit light on Tuesdays.

I didn’t love these old metal toolboxes, but at least they were functional. My dad is from Indiana, so I’m sure the Indy 500 toolbox was something he bought.

Almost all of the old items have been sorted and donated (and cleaned to the extent possible without resorting to magic). Hopefully they’ll be appreciated by someone somewhere.

Starting Fresh

I decided to start fresh by building a tool collection that I would like, based on the kinds of projects I typically do around the house and garage. I spent a good bit of time researching the latest tools and decided what would be a good fit.

I’m not an auto mechanic or a carpenter, so I don’t need the most amazing or durable items, but I didn’t want dirt cheap items that were likely to disappoint me. I wanted tools that I would like and appreciate, both when I saw them and when I used them. So I used appreciation as my main standard for making selections. I kept asking, “Am I likely to appreciate this?”

I wanted to compile a set of tools that would feel abundant and empowering but not excessive for my needs. I appreciate abundance but not to the point of ridiculous excess. I didn’t replace some items with equivalent tools if I sensed that I would probably never need those types of tools (such as wood chisels). If I felt I would later regret a purchase, I avoided it.

I made a few mistakes and did some returns / exchanges, but overall I’ve been pleased with my initial picks. I’ve only had a chance to test some of these tools so far, but I look forward to a healthy relationship with them for many years to come.

I got most of these items via Amazon, and some I picked up locally at Lowe’s, Home Depot, and Costco.

New Tools

Here are some pics of the new tools I gradually acquired. After decades of used tools, I wanted to start with fresh energy.

I got new 3 new tape measures (two 16’ and one 12’), all self-locking. I tend to use these a lot, so I got one for my home office, one for the garage (toolbox), and one for upstairs.

Why aren’t all tape measures self-locking? When do you ever want to pull it out and have it immediately slide back into the housing? When I pull mine out, I want it to stay long and strong by default… till I’m ready to release it.

There are two new 12-piece ratcheting wrench sets (SAE and metric) and a new Dewalt socket wrench set (with SAE and metric sockets in a nice case). Between those is a universal socket – I tried it out, and it works surprisingly well. I love these wrench sets. This might be a tad overkill for my needs, but it’s really nice to have the perfect size for any job instead of having to over-rely on an adjustable wrench that might slip.

I got two sets of Allen wrenches (SAE and standard) that include nice rubbery holding cases to keep them organized by size. I like tools that self-organize with some sense of order or symmetry – they just seem smarter to me.

I got a new 16 oz mallet, which is nice for situations when a steel hammer might be too harsh.

I added new eye protection goggles (to replace the old ones that looked like something I used in high school chemistry). These fit nicely with or without glasses, and they’re anti-fogging.

I got two good utility knives – okay, just one knife is new, and the other I had bought previously. I liked the previous one so much that I decided to add another, so I could keep one in the house and one in the garage. I tend to use these a lot.

I got 9″ and 16″ levels, both magnetic. The smaller one has a built-in ruler. The larger one is nice for marking off spots for hanging a painting or poster. I considered getting a 24″ one, but that seemed like overkill, and I like that the 16″ one still fits in the toolbox.

In the back left, there are two LED flashlights. both of which are WAY brighter and much smaller and lighter than my old flashlights. They use AAA batteries instead of the D batteries in the Maglites, so they’re more energy efficient too. These flashlights lights have 3 brightness settings, and the beams can tighten or widen just by twisting the top. I actually got 4 of these since a 2-pack was only $10. I keep one in the garage, one in the car, and two in the house. They feel very solid, made of “military grade” aluminum (whatever that means).

There are also 2 rechargeable LED work lights (picked up at Costco on sale for $10 off the pair). These are nice and bright, and they have built in stands, hooks, and strong magnets, so they’re very versatile to position. Each light also has a built-in USB charger, so it can be used as a battery to charge a phone or other USB device as well – I don’t need that feature while at home, but it could be handy on a camping trip.

I got two new screwdriver sets, each with 57 pieces and their own storage cases. The left one is a precision set for working with small screws like on electronics or eye glasses. It has many different kinds of bits. I like that each bit has a long shaft, and the handle has a built-in extender as well, which is good for screwing in deep holes. I will never use all of these bits, but it feels nice to have such a good collection in a compact space – an excellent replacement for my old set.

The set on the right has nice grippy handles, and I like that it sorts the screwdrivers by type and size. It also includes many other assorted bits at the top of the case (which can be used with a power drill as well).

Both kits come with a magnetizer / demagnetizer, so you can magnetize or demagnetize the tips.

I love this set of pliers and wrenches. It comes with a strong cloth carrying case with pouches for each tool, and it easily rolls up and has elastic straps to secure it into a nice bundle. I prefer to put the tools in a toolbox though for faster access. Unlike my old adjustable wrenches, the adjustable wrench in this set is very good at holding its position.

I also added a new wire stripper, which is capable of cutting screws too.

This new Dewalt power drill / driver is so nice. It comes with 2 rechargeable batteries, each of which should last for hours. Apparently these batteries can hold their charge for 18 months when not in use, so I can simply pop in a battery and use this drill without having to charge it first. Two batteries is overkill for my needs, but that’s what the set came with.

I also picked up a set of 14 titanium drill bits, which seem way nicer than the few sad drill bits I previously had.

This drill comes with a nice carrying bag that fits everything shown with room to spare.

This small 30-drawer cabinet is great for storing odds and ends like nails, screws, washers, zip ties, etc. No more mega jar with everything mixed together.

I replaced two crusty wood-handle hammers (both of which had tops that were coming loose) with these fiberglass-handle hammers: a 20-oz hammer, a 16-oz hammer, and a small stubby hammer.

In the same drawer is a 7″ folding hand saw (useful for trimming small branches). I’ve never needed a power saw or chainsaw.

Here’s my new toolbox. I got one larger one to replace the three smaller boxes I had previously. It has a top area and 3 drawers. I added some padded drawer liners to it, so the drawers are lined with a soft but durable material. It’s like all of the tools now rest on a thin yoga mat.

Somehow it feels like giving the tools a nice home with cushy padding is a nice way to show them respect and appreciation. This is surely better than how I treated my old tools. I even talked to the new tools to welcome them into my home. In my journal this week, I wrote a private letter saying goodbye to my old tools, releasing their energy back to the simulator.

This is what the toolbox looks like when closed. It’s about 12″ tall. Not bad for $50. The drawers open and close very smoothly too. I don’t intend to carry it around, so this is its permanent home on a shelf in my garage.

I also got this painting set, which I keep elsewhere in the garage. It’s currently $15 at Costco.

I bought two new fire extinguishers, one for the house and one for the garage as a backup. I had some old ones in my house that apparently expired in 1999 (seriously). The new ones say they’ll last for a good 12 years, so I wonder if the old ones were from the 80s – that is possible.

We’ve been making some other upgrades too this summer to help keep the house in better shape. Here’s a new Dyson V15 Detect vacuum that I got in June. I like it so far and picked up an extra battery for it. It’s the first Dyson I’ve ever owned, and I dare say that it’s even fun to use. Previously I was using a Roomba, but it’s not nearly as powerful as the Dyson. I like that the transparent bin easily shows what’s being sucked out of the carpet. This fairly recent model also has a display that shows the particle count of what it’s picking up (actually 3 different counts for different particle sizes). That feature seems like mostly a gimmick, but I still find it very satisfying to see the numbers go up, especially when it passes 1 billion. Having a vacuum that provides this extra visual feedback makes other vacuums seems a lot dumber… like what are they trying to hide by not sharing their performance data?

At least I now know for sure that Roomba is shit… at least as far as actual cleanliness goes.

On the floor there’s a new Hoover Smartwash+ carpet cleaner – I’ve tested it on one room so far, and it worked really well. I like that it automatically washes when I push it forward and dries when I pull it back, so there’s no need to hold down a trigger. It’s very easy to use. This combo of the new vacuum and carpet cleaner is nicely transforming the floors in my house.

This is the kind of project that I always could have put off by telling myself that there are more important things to do. But it felt good to finally do it.

I like and appreciate the new tools. I like that I no longer have to deal with the old misaligned mess of tools that I had before. I like that I took my time with this project and did it patiently, without rushing, and free of deadlines.

I especially like that I got the framing right before I started, so I was able to take action with ease. I felt nicely motivated the whole way through and even had fun with it. While doing the tools research, I learned some things I didn’t know before, so it was educational as well.

I framed this as an upgrade project – an invitation to completely transform my old tool collection into a new collection that I would henceforth appreciate. Purge the energy of disgust and irritation, and replace it with gratitude.

So there was an inner journey from having a poor relationship with my tool collection to discovering how to create a positive and healthy relationship. This permanently changes how I feel towards a small (but not insignificant) slice of my reality. Now every time I enter the garage and notice the different toolbox and tools, I feel differently. There’s a newfound sense of ease and even a little excitement. And admittedly there’s a little bit of discomfort since I’m still getting to know the new tools, but I imagine that will pass in time.

This also changes how I relate to home maintenance projects going forward. Now those projects seem a little more attractive because I look forward to using the nice new tools. Yesterday I noticed a loose screw on a towel hangar in the laundry room, and I happily grabbed one of the new screwdrivers to fix it, which felt more rewarding than I expected.

One key that I found is the importance of maintaining the right pacing. I can’t rush because that just makes such a project feel stressful, and I will doubt my decisions if I try to decide too quickly. It’s best to do the research patiently and then let my mind incubate some options till I have a strong sense of clarity. I held off on buying items when I was in doubt about what to get.

On the other hand, I can’t go too slowly either since then the energy of the project will die on me. I have to keep nudging it forward day by day to maintain a sense of progress. On a single day, I might figure out one or two items, like which screwdriver set to get. But over the course of a few weeks, all of those little decisions add up to a bigger transformation.

Think about some area of life where you’ve been tolerating misalignments. Could you undertake a complete transformation of that part of life, gradually chipping away at the misalignments one by one and upgrading or replacing them with changes that you’d appreciate?

What if you allowed such a project to take as long as it needs to take with no deadlines or time pressure? Could you approach it as an exploration and a learning experience, doing whatever you need to do to make reasonably good decisions at each step, so day by day you’re advancing towards a bigger transformation that you’ll really appreciate?

Remember that you don’t have to make perfect decisions in order to create significant improvement. I can’t say that I have the perfect tool set for me, but it’s a clear improvement over what I was dealing with before, and that’s good enough to call it done.

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Enthusiastic Consent

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When you invite someone to have a shared experience together, professionally or personally, and consent is given grudgingly, this tells you that the invitation isn’t very aligned. Even if you’re ostensibly getting a yes, there are probably some unresolved objections behind that yes, so you’re getting a compromised version of a yes.

This in itself is another layer of invitation for you to unpack. Do you want to move forward with the consent you received, or do you want to go for a more aligned form of consent?

This isn’t a trick question. Sometimes you may be fine with the consent you received, especially if the invitation is fairly simple. It may not be worth the effort to aim for a more aligned version, especially if the consequences are minor either way. A grudging yes may be good enough in some situations.

Sometimes, however, you may not want to settle for a compromised yes. You may want to aim for a higher standard and go for a true win-win, such as by changing the offer or by addressing and resolving objections. And if you can’t reach win-win, then you may prefer to declare “no deal” and withdraw the offer,

One nice indicator that you have a real yes from the other person is that consent is given not plainly but enthusiastically. This is a pretty good sign that the other person likes your invitation. Such a response or the lack thereof is not, however, a reflection on the quality or overall generosity of your offer. It’s just a reflection of the other person’s emotional alignment with your offer.

Some people aren’t very emotionally expressive, so the lack of expressed enthusiasm isn’t necessarily a sign that your invitation isn’t landing well. But the presence of an enthusiastic response is generally a good sign.

Enthusiasm as a Minimum Standard

Consider where it might be useful to look for enthusiastic consent as your minimum standard when it comes to following through with action in some areas. Consider where you might want to interpret resistant consent as a no.

You can apply this standard both to invitations you give, so you’re looking to see if other people respond enthusiastically, and to invitations you receive, so you’re gauging your own level of enthusiasm.

If you or someone else says yes to an invitation but without much enthusiasm, you’re probably looking at a partial match situation. While partial matches may provide some secondary gains now and then, they can also clutter your life and block full matches from coming through.

Are there any areas of life where it may be worthwhile to consider enthusiasm as a minimum standard rather than a nice-to-have?

One area is creative work. It’s easier to flow into action when the enthusiasm is there. If I get a creative idea, such as for a new article or course, but I’m not feeling much enthusiasm for it, I’m inclined to dismiss it as a partial match idea. The idea may still be good, but it’s not necessarily good for me at that time. I often get ideas that I reject due to a lack of personal enthusiasm, and this keeps the door open for more aligned ideas to come through. I find it better to keep my energy free and unattached instead of occupying it with partial matches.

Another area is doing anything romantic, playful, sexual, or adventurous with another person. Enthusiastic consent is a worthwhile standard to aim for, especially since the quality of the experience will probably depend on some mutual enthusiasm. You may even want to look for 4D consent, so there’s a positive response from the body, mind, heart, and spirit.

I’ve noticed that even if I’m initially enthusiastic about an invitation, but the other person clearly isn’t, their response effectively takes the wind out of my sails. Then I often feel it’s best to invite someone else, to make a different invitation, to invite something similar but at a later time, or to let the idea go.

Crafting Better Offers

If you raise your standard for the type of response you want to see, this challenges you to get better at crafting offers. This usually requires getting better at understanding people and making the offer more aligned for them.

One area where I see a lot of people fall flat is when they’re looking for a job. This is a form of invitation. You’re offering your services to a potential employer. Many people bemoan the unenthusiastic responses they receive, both as potential employers and employees. And many are willing to accept a grudging yes. Could that willingness to accept a grudging yes be part of the problem?

Consider that if you’ve already decided that a grudging yes is good enough, you probably won’t put as much effort into crafting a quality offer. But this also lowers your chances of getting any kind of yes.

Imagine how much better your offers might be if you held yourself to the standard of “enthusiastic consent or no deal.” Would you be more likely to land a good job if this is your minimum standard? I’d say yes.

I have received a lot of crappy and misaligned offers over the years, both personally and professionally, and I think one reason is that these offers have come from people who are willing to accept any kind of yes, even a very grudging or resistant yes. They aren’t even trying to meet the standard of win-win. If they were, they’d seek to craft a more personalized offer.

Personalizing Your Invitations

One of the best ways to aim for the higher standard of enthusiastic consent is to make less generic and more personalized invitations. Learn what would create a win for the other person before you think about crafting an invitation or offer.

For instance, before you show up for a job interview, do you already have a pretty good idea of what kind of candidate would receive an enthusiastic yes? Do you feel that what you’re able to offer has a decent likelihood of being met with enthusiastic consent? If not, then why are you wasting their time by showing up with a weak offer? At best you’ll get a partial match. Is that really what you want? Won’t it be easier to get hired if you aim for the standard of enthusiastic consent?

Enthusiastic consent may seem like a higher standard to meet, but it’s also an easier standard in a way. Aiming for this standard helps you elevate the quality of your offers and invitations, so you’re more likely to get an aligned yes in response. This standard helps you steer clear of the energy-sucking swamp of partial matches. It helps you craft better offers.

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Alignment and Diversity

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For the annual launch of Conscious Growth Club last month, I mentioned before that I focused on alignment instead of growth. I deliberately avoided investing in obvious pathways to growth that might attract members who wouldn’t be so well aligned with CGC’s values and culture. Interestingly, CGC grew in size by about 20%, and CGC’s internal diversity increased as well. CGC has become more internationally diverse with members from 26 countries this year. It has become more diverse in terms of members of different ethnicities, colors, and cultures. And it has more LGBTQ members than ever before.

One thing I did differently this year was that I added this short qualification list to the CGC invitation page to help potential members decide if they’re a good fit for CGC.

To qualify for a CGC membership, you must:

Be able to get along with people in a diverse online community. Keep CGC free of personal attacks as well as racist, sexist, anti-LGBTQ, or otherwise demeaning communication.

Respect members’ privacy. The personal growth work we do inside CGC can involve discussing private and intimate details that members don’t want shared beyond CGC.

Accept members’ varied personal growth journeys. CGC includes many vegans, LGBTQ members, members exploring open relationships, and more. We welcome such diversity. It’s a CGC rule to give forum topics clear titles, so members who prefer to avoid certain topics can easily do so.

Not have been a Trump voter or supporter in the 2020 U.S. election. CGC is a Trump-free zone. The behavior of voting for Trump or supporting his platform (for any reason) is sufficient to disqualify someone from being a match for CGC’s values, culture, and diverse international membership. Moreover, I am unwilling to coach such people; it’s a personal boundary issue.

Out of curiosity, how many Trump supporters do you think complained about the last item above? The answer was actually zero, which didn’t surprise me. It doesn’t make much sense that any Trump supporters would want to join CGC anyway since their values are so divergent from ours. This statement isn’t really about them since they aren’t likely to be attracted to my work. The intent is to let qualified members know what they won’t have to deal with inside CGC, which is a benefit to some people.

Diversity is actually not one of CGC’s core values. Alignment is. For a group like CGC to function well, it’s good to have some diversity, but not at the cost of alignment. This is because members in the group tend to form strong relationships with each other, and for that to happen, we need a base level of strong compatibility around shared values.

Think of this like getting involved in any other kind of human relationship. Compatibility matters. Your compatibility with another person gives you a strong base of connection. Then it’s good to have lots of variety around that core compatibility. That keeps you interested and engaged in the relationship. Diversity provides ample opportunities to learn and grow together. So what you want is diversity within alignment, not diversity ahead of alignment.

To put diversity ahead of alignment would be like dating totally random people with no concerns about compatibility. That may be interesting as a temporary experience, but you’re unlikely to find a good match that way. You’ll probably end up with lots of blah or creepy experiences, or you may feel that you have to lower your alignment standards to have a good experience.

By putting alignment ahead of diversity, we can say that we welcome anti-racist but not racist behavior in CGC. We can say that we’ll maintain an LGBTQ-friendly and a vegan-friendly culture inside, which means we’re not going to permit an opposing culture to take root.

Would it be more pro-diversity to invite people with opposing values to join the club too? Perhaps, but it would also be a ridiculously bad idea – completely at odds with our purpose. In order to help each other grow, we need a strong enough base of compatibility to actually want to help each other. CGC works best when members help each other willingly, not grudgingly. We want to go for genuine caring, not tolerance (which is resistance to love). And interestingly, one thing that helps us align with this purpose is knowing that we’re also working against opposing forces elsewhere in the world.

Inside the club we can create a unique safe haven that’s strongly protected from those opposing societal influences. CGC is a unique cultural island in that sense. There are a lot of societal pressures that we don’t have to deal with inside. And that’s because we focus on maintaining a certain kind of alignment around shared values, and then we welcome diversity within that alignment (but not outside of it).

In this kind of environment, people thrive. They get to access and experience parts of themselves that had been previously suppressed. They can drop the masks that they no longer need. Internally they’re able to discover more diversity within themselves as well. Finding strong social alignment open the door to such inner diversity.

What’s also interesting is that when we have this core social base of high-alignment connections in our lives, we can handle a lot more diversity beyond our values. The rest of the world’s misalignments become less upsetting and aren’t so disempowering when we feel so empowered to invest in what matters to us.

I don’t think it’s necessary (or even wise) to reach out and build a bridge to people whose values are very misaligned with yours. I think that will just water down your experience of life, and it’s a distraction from going all-in with the rich alignment you could invest in instead. You may be surprised to see how many transformational ripples you create by investing fully in the values that matter to you and shedding links and anchors to opposing values. Keeping a foot in the world of misalignments doesn’t serve you, and it doesn’t actually help others. It just keeps you anchored to various forms of scarcity, and it keeps your inner diversity from fully expressing itself.

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Conscious Growth Club Has 108 Members for Year 5

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Conscious Growth Club had its best annual launch ever last week. We now have 108 members in the club for Year 5, including Rachelle and me. That a 20% increase from last year.

We only open for new members one week each year. We’ll open again for Year 6 in the last week of April 2022. From now till then, we’ll be serving and engaging with the CGCers who decided to share this journey together.

I love that each year in CGC is a different experience because there’s a different mix of people each year. CGC co-creatively adapts to the people who join. I think CGC Year 5 is likely to be our most co-creative and playful year since we started, especially since 45 people joined from the Amplify course on creativity.

There’s been a huge surge in activity in the CGC private member forums since we opened for new members from April 25th to May 1st. This is what the daily page views have looked like recently. Today (May 4) isn’t even halfway over yet, so that will probably end up closer to the bar for May 3rd by the end of the day. This is a normal pattern for the first week or two of a new CGC year as members introduce themselves and start engaging with the community.

This launch was very different from previous years. Last year I spent more than $6K on Facebook ads for CGC, and I actively promoted CGC on social media (Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube).

This year I didn’t even mention CGC on social media, and I didn’t advertise it at all. I had deleted my Facebook and Instagram accounts in January. And even though I have thousands of YouTube followers, I decided not to mention CGC there this time.

This time I really wanted to focus on alignment. I wasn’t really trying to grow CGC in size, and I had no particular number goals for this launch. Growing CGC is nice, but it would have been fine if we ended up with a smaller group than last year. I just want to make sure we’re attracting people who strongly align with CGC’s values and culture.

This was also the simplest launch we’ve ever done. Not only were there no ads and social media to deal with, I also decided not to create an invitation video this time. The invitation web page was very straightforward. I also did a lot less blogging this year, and I sent fewer emails to invite people on my email list to join CGC this time.

So I approached this launch in a very chill way. Any parts of the launch process where I felt resistance to doing them, I simply skipped them this year.

What I noticed is that this freed up more emotional energy, and I was able to flow that energy elsewhere. I felt more relaxed than ever when inviting people to join CGC this year.

I really don’t think the launch would have gone this well if some of my energy was still wrapped up in social media. I’m really seeing that going for bigger reach isn’t what matters. This experience verifies what my intuition was telling me all along – that alignment is way more important than reach. Even if the numbers turned out smaller this time, I think I still would have feel that it was a wise decision to focus on improving the alignment by reducing the reach. All throughout the launch, it felt so nice not to being dealing with Facebook at all. That place is such a clutter of misaligned energies. I feel so much lighter without it. It’s pretty easy to compensate for the reduction in reach.

When I see the interactions that people are having in CGC now, as I’ve been reading the new member intros and welcoming people in, the vibe of the group feels different – as in better than ever. It’s pretty early in the new CGC year, so that vibe will surely shift along the way, but something just seems super promising about it. I feel like CGC Year 5 is likely to exceed my expectations, perhaps by a lot.

I thought that I’d be feeling pretty tired after finishing the Amplify course. I just published the 63rd and final lesson for it on Friday, April 30th. Even though I haven’t had a single day off in at least 10 weeks – lots of 12-16 hours days, 7 days a week – I don’t feel burned out. Quite the opposite – I feel energized and enthusiastic to dive right into more projects – and especially to engage with CGCers. I think this is because I’m picking up so much supportive energy from other people that it’s keeping my motivational batteries full. And I think that effect is extra strong because of the alignment of the group this year.

I just finished a major course and wasn’t intending to do another one till the first quarter of next year. But now I’m already starting to get a flow of ideas for a new course, coming from a direction I didn’t expect. I thought the Muse would give me some time off, but part of me just wants to keep dancing with her. I don’t think this is because of the ideas per se – I think it’s because of the super aligned people I get to co-create with.

When I reached out to attract future CGCers from social media in previous years, we did see some people joining from those services, but this included people who weren’t as familiar with my work or this community. They may never have done a course or a workshop with us. So they usually weren’t as aligned with CGC as the people who are more closely engaged with this community over a longer period of time.

Most CGCers have been familiar with my work for at least 10 years. Some have been reading my blog for 15+ years. Since those people share so many interests in common with me, they also have a lot in common with each other. Whatever I’ve blogged about in the past, you’ll find people with those interests in CGC – online business, Star Trek, veganism, non-monogamy, travel, sleep experiments, subjective reality, manifesting, productivity, Toastmasters, and more.

This year almost everyone who joined CGC has been through at least one of our 4 courses, and quite a few have gone through 3 or 4 of them. Many members have been to previous workshops as well. I can see why the courses attract so many people to eventually join CGC. If people like the courses and get value from them, they’re highly likely to find CGC worthwhile too. The Deep Abundance Integration and Amplify courses both had a social element, so people can get a much clearer sense of the community and what the people are like.

A lot of people in CGC are very intuitive and sensitive to energy flows, as am I (especially this year while I’m eating raw). I think it’s possible that by focusing on a more socially aligned launch for a course or CGC instead of trying to go for more reach, it helps to create a more focused energy pattern around the experience. I think some people in this community can pick up on that energy, at least subconsciously. This year in particular, they may have sensed a more aligned vibe than usual, like this was the perfect year for them to join.

When I eat raw like I’ve been doing this year, my intuition gets a significant boost. In some sense the signals are the same as before, but they’re much louder and clearer, so they grab my conscious attention more easily and more often. When I’m eating cooked food, I may have a background leaning or a suspicion that some particular direction might be worthwhile. Then after eating raw for several months, that same idea will seem closer to plain-as-day obvious, like it will surely work out. Consequently, I find it significantly easier to trust and act upon my intuition when I eat raw. Those decisions don’t seem nearly as risky because I can see that life is going to work out nicely just by following the energy flows.

I am not attached to growing CGC in size. It works wonderfully at or near its current size. I am willing to see it grow in future years, but not at the cost of alignment. I’m also willing to see it shrink, as long as the alignment of the group stays high. Alignment has been my priority from the beginning, but in past years I sensed that there might be a conflict between alignment and growth. Now it feels like this was an artificial conflict, and it’s evaporating. I think it may be very possible to do both, and that points to a different kind of path forward – one that remains free of social media and doesn’t involve going for more reach.

One unusual aspect of CGC is that we’re very much a Mile Wide, Mile Deep kind of group inside. We cover all aspects of personal growth – health, relationships, finances, work, etc – but this doesn’t water down the experience because we also go for depth in these areas too. Why settle for only breadth or depth? I see no conflict between these. By learning to go deep in one area, it’s easier to go deep into others. Otherwise it’s like saying to a scuba diver, “Because you went so deep in the Indian Ocean, you’ll have to stay on the surface when you visit other oceans.” Diving deep in one ocean just makes it easier to dive into others. The same goes for different personal growth investments. If you learn how to do a major transformation of your finances, for instance, you’ll actually get better at doing deep transformations in other areas of life too. Going deep into one area certainly doesn’t limit you to the surface of the others.

CGC has a bright future ahead. It’s a joy to be present to it each day and be part of its ongoing evolution. If you haven’t joined us for it yet, I invite you to keep CGC on your radar for future years. When the alignment is there for you, you’re welcome to join us in 2022 or beyond.

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My Intentions for CGC Year 5

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This is the one week during each year during which Conscious Growth Club opens for new members to join. We are open through May 1st. It’s an exciting time inside the group as current members who’ve been in the group for 1-4 years are actively welcoming new members who are just now beginning their CGC journey.

Every year at this time, some members renew for another year. Some members decide to leave or take a break from CGC. And many new members join. Also this year, some previous members who skipped Year 4 have already rejoined CGC for Year 5. I’m delighted to welcome them back.

So it’s a time of transition. Every year in CGC is a different experience because the people are different, and the group dynamics change. Year 5 is likely to be an especially creative year in the group due to many people from the Amplify course joining us. We launched Amplify on March 1st, starting with just 2 lessons, and today I’ll be publishing lesson #60. I’ve been creating and adding a new lesson every single day, 7 days a week, for the past two months. I expect we’ll close at about 62 lessons, so the main course will be complete this week, and then I’ll create some additional bonuses for it too. The feedback on this course and the interactions with the members have been deeply rewarding.

We’re having our 8th and final live group call for Amplify tomorrow (April 28th). CGC members get to attend that call too.

CGC’s Will and Consciousness

The lesson I recorded yesterday for Amplify is called “Stellar Nursery,” and one topic it covers is how big projects can take on a life of their own, as if they have their own will and consciousness. CGC is one of those star-like projects. In the beginning I felt like I had to give it tons of careful thought and nurturing, always going back to getting clear about the intention for it. Now I feel like it’s doing a good job of voicing its own intentions and summoning its own energy for where it wants to go and what it wants to explore and experience each year.

Many people have contributed their own intentions to what CGC is to become. In the past, some had conflicting views about which way CGC should go, and when the group zigged one way, they zagged and left. Others preferred to hang with the zig.

One thing I love about CGC is that it too is an explorer. There are so many explorer types like me in the group, and we’ve collectively given CGC a similar explorer consciousness. CGC has some nicely structured elements, but it has plenty of flexibility to move and dance in different directions throughout the year.

For instance, members often use the CGC Lounge (our 24/7 video hangout room, basically an open Zoom call that never ends) to mastermind together in various ways. Groups form, meet purposefully for a while, and then naturally dissolve when they energy is ready to flow somewhere else. CGC has a very wave-like nature internally, much like how I like to blog and create new courses with the flow of inspiration.

I feel there’s a part of CGC that absolutely resists being caged. It loves freedom. It loves to explore the possibility space. It does not want to be locked down into an overly rigid structure, but some structure is healthy for it as a base from which to explore. It loves to invite and encourage experimentation, spontaneity, and going with the flow of inspiration among its members.

CGC also loves abundance. It delights in inviting new people to the party, yet it’s unattached to who stays and who goes, knowing that it’s up to each individual to align or not. CGC doesn’t try to convince or chase after anyone to join. It offers no resistance when people leave. It simply basks in the energy and presence of being what it is and becoming what it wants to be. And it knows without a doubt that it’s going to be an incredible match for people who want to surf its waves and dance with it for some portion of their lives.

CGC loves compassion. It willingly accompanies people into the depths of their sorrow. It has no fear of pain or trauma. It welcomes transformational tears with love and hugs. It will stand in the Pit of Despair with members and do tequila shots with them while they’re there, occasionally pointing up at the stars.

No Advertising or Social Media This Year

Last year I spent over $6K on Facebook ads to promote CGC during its launch. This year the ad budget is zero.

This isn’t for financial reasons. The ads for previous launches were always profitable, bringing in 2-3x what was spent. But I haven’t spent a dime on advertising this whole year.

I’m not even mentioning CGC on social media this time. I deleted my Facebook and Instagram accounts in January. I had thousands of followers on both services. I let that go.

Interestingly, CGC’s sign-up and renewal rates are even better than they were last time at this year. It’s still early in the launch week, so I can’t predict where we’ll land, but so far 38 people are already enrolled for Year 5 (40 if you count Rachelle and me). That’s a fantastic start. We’ll see where we end up after the May 1st deadline.

The Amplify launch was ad-free and social media-free as well, and 300+ people signed up for it during the first 2 weeks. That was a good test to verify that advertising and social media just aren’t needed.

I trust my intuition – a lot – and it tells me that it’s time to let go of some old frames, even frames that may have served me well in the past. So instead of thinking of a launch in terms of reaching out to more people, I’m focusing on alignment and depth. I’m deliberating inviting fewer people this time.

This year I’m only sharing the CGC invitation with the core community around my work, namely my blog readers, course customers, and email subscribers. It’s really this community that CGC is intended for. Reaching beyond this community just doesn’t seem necessary or wise.

I’ve noticed that a lot of CGCers don’t even have Facebook accounts anymore. CGC has become such a good and healthy online home for them, and I too see the potential to go even more all-in with this community. Facebook may have a lot of reach, but it terms of depth and intimacy, it’s nowhere close to what CGC offers. And Facebook has so many misalignments that CGC doesn’t have to deal with.

I feel like my own alignment with CGC has grown even stronger since letting go of Facebook and Instagram. I think it has something to do with letting go of the shallowness and misalignments of those services. My brain no longer has to maintain any circuitry for the Facebook-style interactions, so it can repurpose all of that mental and emotional energy for greater depth and engagement. I like how this has simplified my life too.

I especially notice that I’ve been feeling a lot more compassionate and caring towards people this year. I can really feel that as I record lessons for the Amplify course – there’s a depth of compassion there that feels very powerful to me. And I think letting go of social media misalignments helped. This kind of energy feels like it’s way more me. It’s nice that I no longer have to maladapt some part of my thinking and my energy to deal with social media interactions. It feels like my energy matrix is free to stretch into its proper dimensions now – no need to put so much energy into shielding anymore.

I’m just so used to engaging with people at great levels of depth and intimacy. It’s like being a submarine that doesn’t want to surface anymore because there’s so much beauty to explore below the surface.

Last year I was involved in other communities too, including a year-long coaching program. I wrapped all of that up in December, and I also wrapped up my 2020 daily blogging challenge. I feel that CGC is drawing me even further inward, which seems like a very aligned invitation to accept for Year 5.

Inviting Aligned Members

CGC has a very beautiful culture inside that took a while to evolve. There were some bumps along the way, which served as invitations to make clearer alignment decisions. I’ve especially loved how nicely it’s been flowing for the past several months. There’s been a core group of active members who’ve been holding a strong vibe of mutual caring and compersion. I really like how we’ve managed to merge mutual caring with goal-oriented pursuits and improving our results. Internally it feels like group has become more team-like than ever.

Compersion is a word you may not find in the dictionary. It’s adapted from non-monogamy circles. Compersion is the opposite of jealousy or envy. It means feeling happy for other people’s successes and happiness.

I’ve been flowing with a lot of compersion lately too. I really enjoy seeing people in CGC make their lives better. I like celebrating their wins with them. It’s an honor to connect with such growth-oriented people each day. I get to see how much they invest in moving their lives forward, especially when it comes to working through various misalignments. I really do feel good about their accomplishments, big and small, since I seen a lot of their journey to get there, making it feel like I’ve walked that path with them.

Same goes for connecting with people on the Amplify group calls. It’s been a joy to watch people advance their lives in so many ways.

I think one reason that I’m able to feel so much compersion for other people is that I’m really happy with my own life. The pandemic situation has made me feel luckier and more appreciative. In some ways I feel that the pandemic has been a gift. It helped me flow into a much-needed contraction phase, which helped me see how much there is to appreciate that’s right in front of me.

To help members see if they’re aligned with joining CGC, I’ve made some tweaks to the CGC Invitation Page, and I’ve also updated the CGC Frequently Asked Questions to provide even more answers and details about the club.

CGC Is a Trump-Free Zone

One specific thing I’ll share is that CGC isn’t a fit for Trump voters and supporters. This isn’t for political reasons, and it doesn’t actually matter what someone might state as their reasons for supporting Trump, such as their personal financial interests. It doesn’t matter if people made that choice out of ignorance or careful consideration. The behavior alone is enough to disqualify someone from being a match for CGC. That behavior and its effects are just too incompatible with CGC’s culture, values, and internationally diverse membership. This is stated plainly on the CGC Invitation Page too.

Additionally it would not feel good to be put in a position where I’d be expected to coach or help Trump supporters to achieve their goals, so I’m not willing to offer that service to them. That would be incompatible with my own values and ethics. If I invited such people to join, it would degrade my relationship with CGC, and I’m not willing to let that happen. It’s my intention to develop and even stronger relationship with CGC this year, and having Trump supporters in the group would be incompatible with that intention too.

For anyone who has a serious problem with this, I would ask them not to join CGC.

I think that for many people who are very well-aligned with CGC though, the fact that I’ll do my best to maintain CGC as a Trump-free zone may even bring some relief regarding what they will not have to see or deal with inside. This decision includes acknowledging how Trump supporters’ choices and behaviors negatively impact the lives of many members of this community.

Maybe there will come a time when ex-Trumpers have a place in CGC – and if so, I think it would be a very long road to get there – but this year CGC needs to stay Trump-free. If anyone doesn’t like this decision and wants to blame it on my personal shortcomings, it won’t change the decision. It’s my responsibility to make this call, and I think it’s the right call for where the energy flow is going for CGC Year 5. I’m just not seeing any kind of flow in a direction that could be compatible with having Trump supporters joining us this year. I don’t see a scenario where that could be a win-win situation, so I do think it’s wise to take that option off the table.

Public Q&A and “Meet the Members” Call for CGC

To help people who are thinking about joining CGC this year make a good decision, I’ll be hosting a Public Q&A and “Meet the Members” call this Thursday, April 29, 2021 at 11am Pacific time.

You’re welcome to attend if you’re interested in CGC, subject to the caveats I shared above. Just register for the call, and Zoom will send you the link to join.

I’ll answer people’s questions about CGC, and CGC members are also invited to join the call and share about their experiences and tips for new members. They can offer their own perspectives on what CGC is like and who’d be a good match for it.

So this is an opportunity for you to get a little more perspective on what CGC and the members are like.

We’ll record this call too, and I’ll share it on my blog afterwards, so if you can’t make the live call, you can still watch the recording.

My intention for this call isn’t to try to convince anyone to join, so it’s not going to be salesy. My intention is to help people make the right decision for themselves and for CGC. I know that each year, some people really sweat this decision. If someone really is a terrific match for CGC and would likely gain a lot from joining, then everyone is well-served by helping them to see that. And if someone really wouldn’t be a healthy match for CGC, then it’s also in everyone’s best interest that they see that too.

If you do feel aligned to join CGC already, then I invite you to visit the CGC Invitation Page and join us. The new CGC year runs through April 30, 2022, and your membership starts immediately when you join. So if you join now instead of waiting till May 1st to decide, you’ll get several extra days for your one-year membership (the rest of April 2021), and you can begin engaging with the community right away.

If you have other questions about CGC, you can also get in touch via my contact form. 😃

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Join Conscious Growth Club by May 1st

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Conscious Growth Club

Conscious Growth Club is now open for you to join, from now through May 1, 2021. First started in 2017, this is our most comprehensive personal growth program and support group.

We’re about to start our 5th year together, and you’re invited to join this week. This is the only week you can join CGC in 2021.

What Is Conscious Growth Club?

Conscious Growth Club is a private online club and coaching program to help you make faster and more consistent progress. It turns personal growth into a team game.

The essential purpose of the group is simple: We help each other grow into smarter, stronger human beings, whatever it takes.

CGC is an annual membership that includes:

  • A private member forum – Our forum is active every day (87,000 posts so far). It’s ad-free, spam-free, and troll-free. Members share intentions and goals, update progress, help each other solve problems, and encourage the heck out of each other.
  • A 24/7 video chat channel – Imagine a continuous group video call that never ends. Any member can connect immediately to talk live with other members at any time. Meaningful conversations with conscious, growth-oriented friends are always available.
  • Member progress logs – A popular feature for support and accountability, members can maintain progress logs to share their actions and results. I also record progress logs for my own creative projects such as the deep dive courses, so you can see how they’re developed. This is great for people who love seeing how goals are accomplished behind the scenes.
  • Group video coaching calls – We do live group coaching calls 33 times per year – on different days and times to accommodate all timezones. I happily provide personal help and guidance to any members who want it.
  • Quarterly planning sessions – Every quarter we invite members to participate in a structured 5-day process to assess recent progress, refresh 90-day goals, define action steps, and build momentum going into each new quarter. These quarterly beats will help you stay on track towards your goals, as you align yourself with the ambitious energy of people who are committed to improvement.
  • Course library – Members get access to all deep dive courses past, present, and future, including Deep Abundance Integration, Submersion, Stature, Amplify, and a new self-development course to be co-created with our members in early 2022.
  • Monthly challenges – Similar to my well-known 30-day trial experiments, we invite members to do 12 different challenges (any or all) per year for exploration, skill building, and habit improvement. We all support and encourage each other as we go.
  • Club emails – We send a few emails per month to remind members of upcoming coaching calls, share forum highlights, and to keep everyone in the loop on upcoming happenings.
  • Many extra bonuses – CGC includes lots of extra support material, including a 10-day creative challenge mini-course.

New for 2021: A 3-Day Halloween Online Workshop

This year we’re adding an all new CGC benefit: a 3-day online personal growth workshop for October 29-31, 2021 (Fri-Sun).

This workshop will be content-rich and will include plenty of interactive fun and connection with other members. The structure will be similar to one of our live in-person events but adapted for Zoom. This workshop will be recorded, and you’ll get the recordings too.

I will deliver most, if not all of the workshop content, but it’s possible that we may invite some CGCers to contribute too if there’s interest in that and if any CGCers want to stretch themselves.

Since the last day of the workshop lands on Halloween, we’ll invite everyone to wear costumes that day (totally optional, your choice) to make it even more fun and lively. 😃

Consistency Is Key

Conscious Growth Club is a unique program that was carefully designed and tested to help growth-oriented people support and encourage each other to keep improving their lives. I know of nothing else like this anywhere.

This group serves a powerful need that many of my blog readers have expressed – the need for a strong, stable, conscious, and ambitious peer group to support and encourage them every day. People especially need help staying focused and making consistent progress. I realized that this was a problem I could realistically help people solve – a significant yet achievable goal. Hence Conscious Growth Club was created to serve this need.

I’ve done the heavy lifting for you, so you can instantly add a growth-oriented social circle to your life simply by joining us. Rachelle and I will become a regular part of your social circle too since we’re active in the group every day.

Learn More and Join CGC

Here’s a web page to learn all about Conscious Growth Club, so you can decide if you’re a match for joining us.:

Enrollment Is Open Through May 1st

We’re opening enrollment for a 7-day window only, from now through Saturday, May 1st. This will be our only enrollment period for 2021. So if you want to join this year, now is the time. Visit the Conscious Growth Club page to learn the details.

The reason for opening just once for the year is so we can welcome new members all at once. Then we can focus on serving them well for the rest of the year.

I invite you to join us. It’s fun inside. 😃

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Amplify Inspiration

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On a group call for the Amplify course last week, we did a two-part co-creative exercise. The first part involved connecting with our sorrow, and the second part was to see the invitation in that sorrow to discover a new place of joy. Then members co-created intentions for the world with the purpose of sharing those intentions publicly – with the hope that we may collectively inspire more positive ripples in the world.

I promised to share on my blog the intentions that people wanted to put out into the world. Every group was free to decide what medium to use to express their intentions, as long as it was something we could capture and share in a digital format.

Here are the intentions that people wanted to share with you. I hope you find this inspiring. 😃

Umbrella of Love

Respectful Co-creation
Nurtured by Love and Connection,
a Möbius strip, no beginning or end,
Embracing both result and process.
An umbrella of Love overarching,
Held aloft aloft by Connection

– Group 2

Healing Ripples

Through healing ourselves and taking personal responsibility for our authentic self-expression, we create ripples that heal the world.

– Group 7

A World of Connectedness

We intend a world of connectedness where everyone feels like a part of a community. A world where there’s freedom of speech and expression. A world where people feel deep empathy, recognize each other’s common humanity and find ways to relate to each other irrespective of their backgrounds. A world where they feel safe and a sense of belonging.

– Group 3: Gianfranco, Benjamin, Sean, Christine, and Ranjana

Waking Up Abundance

To combat indifference, apathy and cruelty in the world, let go of scarcity, wake up to abundance, empathy and the power within you.

– Group 5

Feeling Deeply

Lead by example, in this moment, by being open to have our heart broken today. We’ll be able to feel connected to each other, experience profound joy and create change because we feel deeply.

When you have a powerful enough “why”, you’ll find the “how”. Leave space for infinite how’s.

Additionally, eat ice cream every day!

– Group 1: Ellie, Randy, JR, JQ, Théo, Thorsten

On behalf of Group 1, Ellie sings about being the change you want to see in the world.

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Embracing Individual Uniqueness

On behalf of Group 6, Sean shares the intention to connect based on our uniqueness rather than our sameness.

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Elevating Empathy and Compassion

Compassion…there is no “other.” We are interconnected…but what’s it like to be the other?

– Group 4

Phil elaborates on Group 4’s intention to elevate empathy and compassion.

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Welcome Home

On behalf of the Welcome Home Group (Harriet, Bri, Nessy, Darryl, Artem, and Karine), Darryl shares intentions of belonging, wholeness, nurturing, and healing, encapsulated by the words “Welcome home.”

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Celebrating Existence

On behalf of Group 9 (aka “The Dandelions”), Manuel celebrates the fact that we’re alive and that you may contribute a verse to the powerful play of life.

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Here’s the poem “O Me! O Life!” that Manuel mentioned in the video.

Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.

by Walt Whitman (from Leaves of Grass, 1892)

And by the way, Broderick… Walt Whitman isn’t the guy from Breaking Bad. 😉

Here’s an image of a dandelion growing in a sidewalk that Manuel mentioned in the video, drawn by Harriet Knight.

A Community of Higher Selves

Build a community to help us connect to our higher selves. It will require investment from participants (not necessarily money) to join.

– Group 10

On behalf of Group 10, Richad envisions a community of people who want to embrace their higher selves.

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Welcome Home – The Song

This exercise has been inspiring some further creative ripples among Amplify members. In particular, Bri Harris felt inspired to write and sing this beautiful song called “Welcome Home,” shared with her permission.

I have a dream
that one day every being
will feel nurtured, loved, accepted, safe
and welcomed on this earth

And they will know
that they are home
and they belong
yeah, they belong

Standing at the mirror
the young girl does not compare
herself to flawless images
or fear judgmental stares

The voice in her own head
is a kind and caring friend, it says
your body is beautiful
your body is your home

Welcome home
welcome home
you belong
Oh you belong

Playing in the yard
the boy falls down and cries
his tears are not a weakness
he ever has to hide

The feelings in his chest
are openly expressed
holding space for his friends,
he makes them feel at home

Welcome home
welcome home
you belong
you belong

Stepping off the plane
in an unfamiliar place
the woman doesn’t recognize
a single face

But the people in the crowd
wrap their loving arms around her
and say—
Welcome home!

Welcome home
Welcome home
You belong
You belong

Walking through the doors
head bowed down in shame
the man is scared he won’t be forgiven
for all of his mistakes

But the world is there
with its heart open wide
ready to heal
and to welcome him home

Welcome home
welcome home
you belong
you belong

Girl or boy
he, she, they or them
No matter your identity
or the color of your skin

You are welcome here
You always fit in
You are home
And you belong

I have a dream
that one day every being
will feel nurtured, loved, accepted, safe
and welcomed on this earth

And we’ll know
This is our home
and we belong
yeah, we belong

Final Thoughts

Even though each group did this exercise independently (in groups of 5-6 people), it’s fascinating that there’s so much commonality in the themes, especially regarding belongingness and welcoming. Several people noted this during the call as well. There was even a suggestion of getting “Welcome home” tattoos.

I wonder how universal this intention is – to create a world where everyone feels like this is truly their home and that they belong here.

It’s interesting how many spiritual beliefs suggest that there’s a better place after this one, or that we came from a better place before this one. What if we intend to make this world the most welcoming place to be, while we’re here right now?

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Spiritual Marketing

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In January I deleted my Facebook and Instagram accounts, so I launched the new Amplify course without social media and with no advertising. I did share the invitation video on YouTube, but it only had a few hundred views there.

I felt attracted to the idea of pulling my business focus inward. Instead of reaching out to people on other sites and platforms, I wanted to just focus on the community that’s closest to my central online world – namely my blog readers, email subscribers, course customers, and CGC members.

I really don’t need social media or advertising to run a sustainable business and have a good life, and the closer I stick to the core audience, the more I seem to enjoy the experience. That’s good for my motivation too.

One of the key themes I’ve been sharing in the Amplify course is how important it is to focus on your relationship with your creative flow. Be wary of anything that potentially weakens or damages this relationship.

I like to practice what I preach, and every time I develop a new course, it makes me think more deeply about how to apply the ideas to my own life and work. I always make some improvements because of that.

I think this launch would have been a bit higher if I’d spent thousands of dollars on Facebook ads like I did with the Submersion and Stature launches. The ads were profitable in the past. But that requires having a Facebook account, and I like not having one right now. So I willingly let that extra revenue go. Being Facebook-free is worth it.

I’ve also found that when I focus on alignment, motivation, and positive relationships instead of income as a top priority, my income always seems to be just fine. Plenty of support flows my way with relative ease.

Moreover, I also find that when I let go of misaligned ideas, it frees up my mind to receive much better ideas. For instance, when I let go of advertising revenue, the following year I started doing live workshops, and I met my wife Rachelle at the very first one. I’d much rather have her in my life than the ad revenue. And my income is better today than it was with the ads anyway, even though my web traffic isn’t nearly as high as it was back then. Plus I feel a lot more aligned and motivated by my current income streams. I didn’t want to be in the business of selling ads.

There is one very weird thing that I do marketing-wise though. I do it because it only takes a few minutes, and it somehow seems to work. I don’t enitrely know why it works, but I keep seeing evidence that it’s having a positive effect.

Whenever I launch a new course, I put out a certain type of spiritual request. In my mind’s eye, I gather a bunch of spirit guides together and ask them to find people who’d be a good match for the course and to nudge them to join, such as by giving them encouraging signs or synchronicities. I picture myself chatting with the guides to tell them about the course and what it will do for people. Then I ask that if they know any humans who’d benefit, to please direct their human clients to the course. I let them figure out how to do that.

To me this is just a frame. No belief in spirit guides is required since it’s just an action. It’s quick and easy, and I figure it can’t hurt. And it does seem to work. I always hear stories of interesting synchronicities and signs that people experience that nudged them in the direction of the course. This encourages me to keep doing it. In fact, I actually have this as a to-do item on my course launch checklist now, so I remember to do it each time.

Would you be surprised to know that I’m not the only creative pro who assigns tasks to spirit guides like this? I know some other people who use a similar method, and they seem to find it effective too. And again, it’s just an action, so you don’t have to believe in spirit guides to do it.

I think tools are more useful than beliefs – a belief is just a tool that you’ve glued to your palm (or your eyeballs).

I wouldn’t rely only on this one spiritual marketing idea, but it’s a good example of an aligned action that I feel no resistance to doing. Hence it seems like a better tool to keep in my toolbox than being on Facebook, which I do feel some resistance to doing.

Sometimes moving away from resistance and towards new areas of flow takes you in unusual directions. I like it because it adds some spice and variety to life, and it keeps my creative work from feeling too boring or predictable.

I think a lot of people fear that if they let go of a tool or opportunity that’s a partial match, they won’t find anything better to replace it with. Maybe it will just hurt their business. I prefer to have more trust in my intuition and to place more value on my happiness. That makes me feel more resourceful, and I eventually come up with better ideas that feel more aligned and which are actually more effective.

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Creative Courage

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I love the feeling of making a big creative commitment, knowing that I have to lean into trust, rely on my knowledge and skills, and take lots and lots of action to follow through.

It reminds me of when I used to go cliff diving on Catalina Island when I was younger, jumping off a large rock into the ocean and hoping I landed the right way.

Amplify

Once the commitment is fully made, there’s this feeling of being all-in. All doubt is shoved aside since there’s no point in entertaining such thoughts after the decision to go forward is made.

Post-commitment all of my energy flows in the same direction – towards completion. I internally switch off any modes of thinking that might create internal friction. If such thoughts try to surface, they get lasered into oblivion.

I keep a careful watch on my emotions during this time, looking for any emotional drift from solid and sustainable motivation. If I spot any issues, I move to address them immediately. I do what it takes to keep my motivation in the sweet spot for consistent creative flow.

I’m in this mode now. Today I recorded and published the 10th lesson of the Amplify course. It’s a 21-minute lesson, and it took me a good 7 hours to fully design, record, edit, and publish it, including writing a one-page summary of the course and an exercise for the Amplify Workbook. I started shortly after 5am and finished just after noon.

Daily Commitment

This will be part of my daily flow for the next 7 weeks – every day including weekends – till the course is 100% complete.

In addition to creating 60+ audio lessons, I’ll also be hosting 8 live calls for course participants, one per week, starting this Wednesday, March 10. Bringing so many creative people together to connect, share, and inspire each other will surely be a lively adventure.

Many years ago the scope and speed of a project like this would have scared me. Now I love it. It feels edgy, fun, and engaging.

This course isn’t designed in advance. I’m co-creating it with the brave souls who’ve enrolled, one lesson at a time. When I woke up this morning at 5am, I didn’t know what lesson I’d create today. By 6am I was already well immersed in designing it.

I love how this project demands that I stay focused on it for many hours each day. I have to take it one step at a time and keep driving each step forward to completion. There’s at least one new deliverable every day, and it’s not done till it’s published. I can’t just put in what feels like enough time and call it a day. I have to finish and publish, or the creative part of the day isn’t over.

With this kind of rhythm, any misaligned thoughts or feelings are not to be entertained. The mental and emotional drive can only go forward, not backwards or sideways. I find that the commitment itself takes care of that pretty well. My mind knows the daily goal.

It’s very satisfy to work in such an immersive way, to fully commit myself to one of the biggest and deepest creative projects of my life. So much stems from that commitment. By telling my mind that we are absolutely positively moving forward on this, every part of me gets on board.

This is challenging at times, but it feels like I have all the mental and emotional capacity I need. This also requires tremendous trust. I have to trust that the ideas will flow each day. I have to trust that every single day there will be abundant fresh waves of inspiration and that they’ll always be there for me.

I don’t just want to create adequate lessons for this course. I want to create lessons that are interesting, original, insightful, profound, brilliant, unique, and often playful. I want to listen to a lesson after it’s recorded and think: Damn… that was incredible… how did I do that? I want to twist and squeeze every drop of creative essence I have and pour it into this course. I want to record with great emotional energy and expressiveness. And I want to enjoy the experience, day after day. I want to be full of satisfaction and gratitude after publishing each lesson, anticipating how beautiful it will be when people get to listen to it.

Creative Courage

I feel that the key to all of this is creative courage – to finally have the guts to go all-in with a project that I feel ought to be created. This includes choosing a project that’s in my edgy zone. It’s not so easy that I already know how to do it, like plucking a piece of low-hanging fruit off a tree. It seems possible, but it’s going to require that I do my best. A half-hearted effort won’t suffice.

I feel immensely pleased with the first 10 lessons, and the feedback rolling in has been extremely positive, with some people saying they’ve already gotten their money’s worth from the course. I’m really pouring my heart and soul into this, with some lessons making me cry while I design them. This is definitely not just a mental-level experience. It’s a potent journey through creative space, and that can be emotionally intense. It’s like I’m taking all of the emotional energy that flowed through me during nearly 30 years of creative work and infusing it into this course. It’s potent!

I also like that the invitation to join the course requires creative courage to accept. This is not a course for everyone. It’s for people who hear the call to do creative work, and they have the courage to say yes to it. It takes guts to commit yourself to a major deep dive like this, knowing that you’re going to emerge from it a different person – a person who is going to create ripples in the world.

I feel like the real purpose of the Amplify course is to fill people’s hearts and minds with so much creative inspiration and motivation that they experience a major upgrade in their creative courage… and this energy must then flow forth in a powerful fountain of original creative expression.

Do you have the guts to join us?

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