11 Ways Conscious Growth Club Will Expand Your Experiential Range

Conscious Growth Club is our primo online self-development club. It’s been running for 7 years now, so we’ve had plenty of time to evolve and improve it.

The new Year 8 version of CGC is especially rich, abundant, and divergent – so different and unique compared to anything I’ve seen elsewhere in the self-development world.

Instead of focusing primarily on content or coaching, in CGC we prioritize crafting and guiding you through unique growth experiences. You’ll learn more through direct experience than you will by just reading and watching videos. CGC includes a strong content library too, including all of my courses as part of the membership, but I really want to downplay that aspect as the key benefit this year because the experiential side of CGC is likely to be way more beneficial to you, especially with the many upgrades we’ve made for Year 8.

Consider the difference between researching traveling (reading about it, watching YouTube videos, talking to people about it) versus actually embarking on a real trip. Instead of studying self-development in CGC, you’ll be doing the equivalent of taking a self-development trip – in truth multiple kinds of trips spread all throughout the year.

Year 8 in CGC will be our most non-linear one – way more divergent and experiential than ever before. Gone are the regular Focus & Flourish check-in and masterminding calls from Year 7 – that was a solid format, but the intentionality behind it stemmed from a fairly linear model of self development, and the flow of each call became too predictable after a while.

Here are some of the ways CGC can help to fuel your growth with its emphasis on self-discovery through guided experiences.

1. You’ll Surf a Massive Variety of Growth Waves

CGC functions as an experiential wave generator, and you’re free to decide which waves to catch and ride. Week after week in CGC, members are invited into unique personal growth experiences, most of them fairly compact (like a one-hour Zoom call), some of them longer, like a multi-day walkthrough event. There’s a tremendous amount of newness and freshness in each of these experiences and not much predictable repetition.

Whereas a typical coaching program will usually run you through the same type of Zoom call over and over, CGC hits you with many injections of varied growth experiences. We still use Zoom for our group calls, so tech-wise that ought to be very familiar by now. But instead of just one or two formats, in CGC we have a whopping 14 unique call formats. Here’s the list of what you’ll get to experience in Year 8:

  1. Explorers’ Exchange
  2. Intention Infusion
  3. Truth Spark
  4. Good Vibrations
  5. Bear Care
  6. Spirit Spire
  7. Contribution Café
  8. Stature Sculptor
  9. Story Lab
  10. Courage Forge
  11. Pure Imagination
  12. Mystery Mixer
  13. Reflections & Revelations
  14. Alien Popcorn

If you want to see the descriptions for each call format, you’ll find them on the CGC invite page. Alien Popcorn is perhaps the most divergent, whereby we invite psychedelic energies to participate in the calls with us. If you attended the Spirit of Money or the Power of Spirit calls I hosted last Fall, then you’ve already had a glimpse of those types of energies. Was that too much for you, or would you like more of that in your life?

These calls don’t just have different names and formats – they all have different intentions, purposes, and vibes. For each call we create a different kind of energy, and we’ll guide you through different types of growth experiences. This allows you to work on self-development from many different angles, such as boosting your daily motivation, getting more attuned to your spirit self, aligning with your purpose, consciously directing the flow of your life story, upgrading your character, and more. You’ll go way behind basic yin-yang balance here.

We very much appreciate creativity and originality in CGC, so you’ll see that reflected even in the names of our calls and experiences. Would you rather attend a call named “Boundary Management,” or does “Bear Care” sound more fun to you? Would you rather take a boring and derivative course on manifesting, or would you prefer to engage in monthly group intentionality experiments with like-minded people, including picking fun intentional tracers each time and then sharing updates, results, and synchronous experiences with each other all throughout the month? Imagine doing that 12 times each year – real intentional practice with combined group energy. That’s only one small slice of what you’ll be doing in CGC each year.

CGC focuses on the doing and experiencing side of self-development, and we hit it from many different angles with a lot more range than you’re likely to see anywhere else. This is not one of those linear, step-by-step “proven” programs with a fine print disclaimer at the bottom. CGC Year 8 is very non-linear, matching how people actually grow and change. We know it’s foolish to try to promise specific results because that aspect is way too unpredictable, but we can promise to provide you with experiences, and these experiences can stimulate a lot of growth and change if you engage with them.

CGC is designed and intended for people who are mature enough to know that direct, experiential exploration is a powerful way to stimulate growth. But we must also acknowledge and accept that this growth cannot easily be predicted. The gains people make in CGC often come from surprising directions.

There’s something remarkably powerful about engaging with self-development through nonlinear exploration combined with massive variety, instead of trying to over-linearize it, control it, or force it. This approach has many benefits too, particularly in terms of flexibility. It works whether you have clear goals or not, a sense of purpose or not, a plan and schedule or not. It simply meets you where you are and works on you from within, much like a psychedelic does.

How well has trying to push yourself to advance down a straight, compartmentalized path actually worked for you? Is that actually helping you create the kind of life you truly want to experience?

What if you approached self-development with an open-minded explorer’s attitude instead? What if you invited some deeper levels of wisdom and energy – especially some fiery wisdom – to act upon you this year? What if you loosened your grip on the old linear mindset and opened yourself to creating a very different kind of relationship with life? And what if you did that with dozens of other people together – people who are also opening themselves to a new relationship with life? As you’ll soon see if you join us in CGC this year, these changes make a world of difference.

2. You’ll Get Regular Infusions of Heart & Spirit Energy

How easy is it for you to consistently make decisions that feel powerfully heart- and spirit-aligned? Are you fully engaged with your work, your living situation, your relationship partners and friends, and a powerful purpose? Does the flow of money through your life feel nicely aligned, and is it as abundant as you want it to be?

Did your prior investments in self-development help you reach the point of living as a fully self-actualized person? You know there’s so much more to keep exploring and discovering beyond this point, right?

If you’re currently falling short of this standard, worry not, my friend! There’s a community where you can infuse your life with abundant heart and spirit energy. By engaging with such energies regularly, you can keep these priorities top-of-mind and start making better decisions – i.e. decisions that prioritize long-term alignment and harmony over surface gains that eventually drag down your energy and enthusiasm.

This year our CGC theme is Fire Infusion. This represents the vibes of courage, intensity, full engagement, initiative, and boldness. Fire energy directs you to stop tolerating the misaligned and burn it to ashes. It’s a summons to make wiser and more intelligent decisions that serve your whole being harmoniously instead of forcing you to make unbalanced sacrifices. We’re inviting this energy into CGC to play a meaningful role in our unfolding story arcs this year. Do you see this kind of fire energy as playing a role in your life during the next 12 months too? You can still engage with other energies, such as peacefulness and relaxation, so the fire energy isn’t the only energy you can work with. It’s just a question of whether you want to engage with this kind of energy more directly this year. It’s an especially good energy for navigating tricky transitions, making bolder decisions, aligning with a strong purpose, creating positive ripples, and doing character-level and lifestyle upgrades.

Fire energy is inherently fearless. It can help you see what’s on the other side of fear. I can tell we’re going to collectively burn off a lot of fear energy in CGC this year. Do you sense that some fear energy is getting ready to depart this year? Haven’t we all had enough of it? Why don’t we do this together?

You can engage with CGC’s overall thematic vibe of fire infusion, or you can shift into a different mode. You’ll likely experience more oomph into your life when you allow yourself to participate in the group vibe. Then your story and the group’s story can harmonize with each other as we forge ahead together.

We also have quarterly vibes that we focus on as well, so this creates a very rich vibrational arc throughout the year. These are listed on the invite page as well.

3. You’ll Face and Upgrade Your Weak Areas

For the first 6 years of CGC, I often described it as a coaching club. Hundreds of coaching calls later, we graduated from that model to explore other possibilities. This has evolved into a training-based model for Year 8.

The calls and experiences for this CGC year are much more hands-on, so you’ll be directly doing a lot of guided inner work this year in the club.

Growth work like reading, courses, workshops, and coaching will only get you so far. Those are all reasonable ways to get started, but if you really want to advance your character and your life, sooner or later you’ll need to step into the zone of direct, experiential training.

It’s the difference between watching YouTube videos about dancing versus signing up for dance lessons and regularly going dancing. You’ll make some gains from both approaches, but there are some gains that can only be made through direct experience. The second approach is more challenging but also more powerful and effective.

One of the primary self-development benefits we can provide you with in CGC is access to potent and engaging growth experiences with other growth-oriented people. You can start having those experiences this very week if you want. Take advantage of the 7 years of effort we’ve put into building and refining that for you, not to mention 20 years of working in this field in other ways. Even my prior 10 years of experience designing and coding computer games has played a part in crafting CGC’s experiences. I love designing and guiding people through creative and varied growth explorations.

On many, if not most, of our CGC Zoom calls, you’ll be actively training through direct experience. This will surely raise your awareness of some weak areas that are holding you back. CGC is gentle and supportive, but we also focus heavily and character growth and advancement. It’s not for people who’d rather cling to their old excuses.

This Tuesday, April 30th at 11:11 AM, we’ll be having a new Courage Forge call. I’m calling this one “Center of Attention.” Do you have any fears about or resistance to being the center of attention? Great! Let’s burn off that fear and get you past it. Or do you still want to cling to it? Is that you who want to be?

Every call and experience in CGC is by your consent. You always have the option to opt in or opt out of anything you desire. See how much you’re able to take on and experience in one year. Then if you continue in the club for future years, you can keep stretching yourself to advance beyond what you’ve done in the past.

4. You’ll Replace Your Somedays & Maybes with Real Memories

Do you have some items on your “bucket list” that you still haven’t gotten around to experiencing yet? This year in CGC, we’re hosting three different bucket list walkthrough experiences, where we’ll all work on selecting, advancing, and experiencing items from our bucket lists.

It’s entirely possible – I’d say probable – that some CGCers will want to team up and have some of these experiences together. I’ve already been hearing some suggestions from people, such as going on a trip together. I can’t predict which way this will go because it’s an all-new feature we’ve added for Year 8. And since we’re running it three times during the CGC year (September, November, and then again in February 2025), we can use what we learn during each run-through to make it even better in the next year. And of course CGCers can also use the CGC forums and our 24/7 Zoom lounge to help coordinate plans, if they want to sync up their bucket list explorations. I imagine this aspect of Year 8 will be a lot of fun to experience. Rachelle and I will be actively participating as well.

I’m a self-development explorer first; a guide, trainer, and experience designer second. That prioritization is crucial for me since my active and ongoing explorations give me the experiential base for serving others. Continuing to advance my own self-development explorations keeps me feeling super jazzed and enthusiastic about my life and work, and this energy flows into the guidance, training, and experiential side of CGC. I love delving into fresh growth experiences with our members each year. I don’t sit on the sidelines and merely instruct – that approach would just kill my spirit. I need to be in the arena with you.

If you engage with and follow through on this “bucket list adventure” aspect of CGC, you’ll create some beautiful memories this year that you may otherwise never have experienced during your lifetime. Let us help you cross the threshold into the land of real experiential wonders.

5. You’ll Gain a Growth-Oriented Friendship Circle

CGC is a friendly and supportive place inside, and the extended CGC network consists of hundreds of members and still growing. Even if you join for only one year and then leave, you can still consider yourself part of this extended network. As we keep seeing, the friendships people make in CGC can really endure. We often see CGCers and former CGCers traveling together, even getting into relationships together. Recently I just heard from two former members who traveled to seven different cities in India together. How marvelous!

How would you like to explore hands-on growth and training experiences with other growth-oriented people – people that eventually become good friends of yours? Just imagine what it would be like if this was part of your normal day. This has been my reality for many years. And I will tell you that it’s a super motivating way to live.

Do you feel any bolder when you’re in the company of good friends versus when you’re alone? Most people do. When you’re immersed in a field of solid support that you can rely on, it’s normal to start reaching for bigger, bolder, more expansive goals.

Once you fill your friendship network with conscious, growth-oriented people – as opposed to NPC types (non-player characters), you’ll probably never want to go back. Just having this kind of social energy in your life can create such beautiful positive ripples.

Remember that people are energy sources too. What you experience socially isn’t neutral, and you can’t simply override the effects of your current social sphere just by trying to apply more individual intentionality. Your own intentionality field is infused with your social circle’s energy and intentionality too. Joining CGC can really help you upgrade your social field, which harmoniously strengthens and extends your individual energy field. Is the current social energy swirling through your life amplifying and extending your own energy in the directions you want it to flow?

If you aren’t vibing with the people in your life or the social media services you routinely engage with, please don’t ignore their impact. It really does matter. This is more than just social drag – you’re likely experiencing significant levels of intentionality drag as well. That can really slow you down and keep you stuck if you don’t consciously address it. If not by joining CGC, then please get yourself involved with a strong social circle that aligns with your values and desired vibes and experiences, whatever it takes. I assure you that it’s worth the effort, even if it takes decades.

6. You’ll Have a Sanctuary From Social Media Insanity

In CGC you don’t have to deal with the – let’s call it bullshit – that you’ll endure on typical social media platforms. I don’t do Facebook, X, Instagram, etc. because those platforms feel too dreadfully misaligned to me. For the most part, the people I connected with on those platforms were great, but the energy and intentionality behind those platforms was all wrong and corrupted the experience of connecting.

I felt torn leaving such platforms – at first – but I don’t think I’d have invested so much in developing CGC if I’d stuck with the old social media models. I had built up sizable audiences on some platforms, but I decided to trust my inner signals and let them go. I deleted my Twitter account in 2014, labeling it a cesspool back then. What’s it like there now? Given what I’ve heard, it makes me feel so glad I trusted my intuition 10 years ago. I really feel like life tested me by asking: Do you want to cling to the numbers while tolerating the creepy misalignments of those platforms, or do you want to trust your intuition and follow a path with more heart and spirit, not knowing where it will lead yet? I took the second option, which has worked out beautifully.

I don’t miss those old platforms and don’t need them because I’m active in CGC every day instead. My #1 everyday social network consists only of very growth-oriented people. But additionally, we get to socialize on a super clean platform of our own.

Do you feel genuinely motivated and empowered to live your best life when socializing and connecting with people in the spaces controlled by Elon Musk or Mark Zuckerberg?

Musk + Zuck = Muck

Notice the part of you that feels creeped out by those services. There’s a good reason for that. The intentionality behind those platforms isn’t aligned with your highest good. In CGC we don’t have to make that kind of compromise. We’re able to do what’s right.

Think of me as the bear guarding the entrance to CGC that keeps out the bullshit, so you don’t have to deal with it or tolerate it inside the club spaces. Most people will see a friendly teddy bear as they stroll right in. But this bear is very good at sniffing out misaligned intentions, and those with ill intent will encounter a ferocious bear guardian instead.

Trump supporters don’t get to join CGC. We have a strict “no assholes” policy too (and it’s not lost on me that this largely covers the first item as well). CGC’s annual dues are lower this year at $1111, which still ought to be enough to deflect most people who aren’t a match, and which shines as a beacon to very aligned people. This works well, but I keep ferocious bear mode on standby just in case. Honestly I haven’t needed to use it for a few years now.

Within this space, members have tons of freedom to explore whatever interests them. Having meaningful discussions with other smart people is really nice when you don’t have to tolerate any ads, affiliate promos, trolling, manipulative algorithms, hollow AI content, conspiracy theories, general outrage, clickbait, and other nonsense you have to deal with elsewhere.

Inside CGC you have tons of freedom to explore whatever aspects of self-development appeal to you, but this is also a protected space, guarded by some very conscious and alert bear energy. Those who’ve tried to attack or degrade the community inside have all been vanquished by that bear energy. Really they never stood a chance.

I’ve also seen plenty of validation that CGC is the beneficiary of a significant amount of spirit-level protection and assistance, which seems to keep growing stronger each year. I’m not entirely sure how this is all unfolding, but there’s definitely a spirit-level calling aspect to CGC’s creation and existence, especially with respect to protecting it and nurturing it.

If you pause for a moment, close your eyes, and attempt to tune in to CGC’s vibe as if it’s a conscious entity of its own, what do you sense? Are you able to feel a presence or energy form reaching out to you? And if so, does it have anything to communicate to you – verbally, emotionally, energetically, or otherwise? If you’re the kind of person who’s willing to at least try this, I encourage you to do so. I often engage with CGC’s energy through meditation or journaling, such as by asking where it wants to go next. It usually has a lot to say.

I’d even recommend asking CGC’s energy if it thinks you ought to join us this year if you’re open to receiving an answer from it.

7. You’ll Release What You Need to Stop Tolerating

My prediction is that this year in CGC, there’s going to be a lot of purging and releasing, as members who are finally ready to let go of significant misalignments take some big steps forward to do so.

What misaligned energies do you still engage with semi-regularly? What do you sense is getting ready to leave? Is it fear, worry, anxiety, stress, overwhelm, depression, shame, guilt, grief, loss, imbalance, etc?

Some misalignments can be tricky to identify. One of the trickiest patterns for many people is loyalty. Loyalty sounds good, but it creates stuckness more often than not, and it deserves a place on the list with the other misaligned energy patterns, like this … shame, guilt, loyalty…

This kind of tolerance (of the misaligned) isn’t loving or compassionate. Some decisions may have felt reasonably intelligent when you first made them, but if you’re a growth-oriented person, you’ll eventually outgrow the desire to keep experiencing the effects of those old decisions. For growth-oriented people, there are always some old decisions begging to be revisited and upgraded.

Let CGC help you go through this process, holding a space of caring invitation while you identify, thank, and release those old energies that are ready to leave you. CGC can also help you consciously choose and explore the new energies and experiences that call to you, when you’re ready to invite them in and engage with them.

8. You’ll Build a Base of Consistency and Balance

Maintaining a harmonious and balanced life can be very challenging today. How are you doing in this area so far? Are you pleased with the way you balance work, play, exploration, and rest? Is your life abundant in experiences that you savor and appreciate? Does your to-do list feel motivating, inspiring, and harmonious? Do you enjoy a steady and energizing flow of stimulating action and satisfying results? Are you engaging with the types of energies, people, and situations that uplift and fulfill you? Do you feel you’re on the right path with your life?

If you gave yourself a 1-10 score for your overall life balance, what would it be?

Is your answer pleasing to you? Do you want to maintain a similar level of balance for the next 10, 20, 30 years? Remember that you only have power to change in the present – right now.

A healthy minimum standard to reach and maintain here is an 8 out of 10. It’s definitely not the dreaded 7, which is what many people choose when the truth is really much lower. Most people fall well short of this standard though.

How would you like to create long-term balance across all important areas of your life? Training on such fundamentals is a big part of what we do in CGC, and it’s an even more significant part of Year 8 because this new CGC year, we have a special event in July specifically designed to walk you through developing, mapping out, and implementing a fresh new way to manage your time and energy while keeping everything in balance.

One counterintuitive challenge with life balance is that if you focus on balance itself, you’ll likely fail at it. It’s like riding a bicycle – you achieve balance through forward motion. If you sit on the bike without moving forward and try to balance yourself, that’s way harder and unlikely to work.

As you’ll soon discover during the July training event in CGC, there’s a better place to focus your attention if you want to create more harmony and balance. Once you learn and understand it – it’s actually quite simple – you can use it to good effect for the rest of your life.

What balancing on a bike and balancing your life have in common is that in order to balance yourself efficiently and effectively, it’s important to understand the forces at play and how to work with them instead of having them work against you. When people try to balance on a bike from a static position, the force of gravity is working against them, making it very difficult. Same goes for life balance – most people can’t properly balance their lives because they approach this in a way that leaves stronger forces working against them, so it won’t be sustainable.

As with riding a bike, the solution to life balance is technically simple, but it takes some practice to get the hang of it. So we’ll walk you through the approach and help you get started applying it too. I’m really looking forward to this because I expect it will be a lot of fun to go through this together. Living a life that feels nicely balanced is such a daily delight, especially if you’ve endured many years of imbalanced living previously.

When you ride a bike properly, how much do you think about balance? Very little most likely. You’re probably too focused on where you’re going. It’s the same with life balance. Once you have it dialed in, it becomes mostly automatic, and then you can focus more attention on where you’re going.

9. You’ll Strengthen Your Intuition and Self-Trust

A common problem that many growth-oriented people succumb to is premature convergence. You make erroneous, half-hearted decisions. You settle for misaligned paths. In the long run, even seemingly small misalignments can come back to bite you. You may even remember noticing – and probably dismissing – a subtle background sensation that tried to warn you and that didn’t want to settle for the option you chose. That part of you was already sensing that there was a better option wanting to come through, even if you weren’t aware of that option yet… or not patient enough to wait for it.

Lots of people suffer from low intuitive sensitivity these days. They make misaligned decisions, such as taking a job that’s a mismatch for them when a better option was possible, because their inner intuitive guidance is muted, suppressed, and/or under-developed.

Such people often find it difficult to fully trust themselves. They can’t properly sense and lock onto the signals of the correct path for them. Consequently, they may hesitate to make certain decisions, especially big ones. This keeps them stuck for lengthy stretches, at least until they’re ready to begin seriously developing their intuitive sensitivity.

Many people turn to psychedelics to help them advance here. Psychedelic substances can help turn down mental chatter and amplify signals of intuitive knowing. That’s the fast route, often creating breakthroughs in a matter of hours.

A much slower route is to adopt a consistent meditation practice, which can quiet the mind and make it easier to hear those subtler inner signals. This path normally takes a few decades, but it does work.

Another option that I’d put somewhere in the middle is to lighten up your diet, making it plant-based and high in raw foods. If you want to go faster, then all raw, at least for a while (like 6 months minimum). This can be noticeably effective within months, with compounding gains over the course of years. I like to think of raw foods as slow psychedelics. It has always amazed me that when eating all raw, I experience a much greater frequency of synchronicities.

Different foods have such different energy patterns. A good way to understand how different foods will affect your intuitive sensitivity is to consider the intentionality that brought those foods to your plate.

If you want to mute or downgrade the sensitivity of your intuitive senses, that’s readily achieved by eating foods with desensitizing energy patterns like animal products and processed foods. Consider the intentionality behind slaughtering animals for sustenance or making nutritionally compromised “foods.” Notice the swirl of energies infecting those foods: dominance, entitlement, profit, greed, deception, shame, sadness, fear, loss, and even murder. Notice what’s missing there too: caring, health, kindness, honesty, compassion, sustainability, etc. Also notice the difference between narrow-spectrum foods that have had many natural qualities removed versus full-spectrum whole foods. What’s the intentionality behind the shift away from whole foods in their natural states?

Consider what you’re adding to these experiences with your own intentionality too. When you prepare a meal or reach for a snack, pay attention to your intentions in the moment. That matters tremendously.

I especially love eating meals with the intention to feel energized, clean, and alert. I eat a lot of fruit, especially in the morning, because I can do it with the cleanest intentionality. It’s like eating pure sunlight. It’s the least violent because the plant can keep on living after the fruit is harvested. And yet there are still misalignments present, like the treatment of the workers in the process. It’s not 100% pure, but it’s much better than most other foods. It’s a great match for creative work too.

Moreover, these options aren’t mutually exclusive – you can combine them. Meditation and psychedelics and diet upgrades all work very synergistically together. It’s just a matter of how quickly you want to advance and how much it matters to you to develop really strong self-trust and clear intuition. This enables faster, bolder decisions, which in turn speeds up the flow of life – no need to wallow in indecision. You can just keep advancing, almost like a character running and jumping through one of the Matrix movies.

CGC, however, can provide you with yet another option, which is to directly engage with your intuitive senses and train them up. Those senses are particularly attuned to intentionality as well, so if you engage with them with the intention to increase your sensitivity and to connect with your best inner wisdom and knowingness, that can also help you advance. It won’t be as fast as with psychedelics, but it can be much faster than going the decades-long meditation route. This works even better when you combine intentional practice with meditation – and ideally with a very clean diet too.

I’ve invested a lot in increasing my intuitive sensitivity, especially in the past year, and it has served me incredibly well, allowing me to choose options I wouldn’t have otherwise spotted. Keeping these senses strong and crisp is important enough to me that I personally use all of these methods: food choices, meditation, intentional practice, and psychedelics (mainly micro- and mini-dosing). It’s all additive and synergistic.

Are you ever confused about what to do with your life? I encounter a lot of people who seem perpetually stuck in the land of “I don’t know.” I don’t have that problem. I dwell in the land of “I do know,” which is a lot more fun, engaging, and stimulating. There are still plenty of mysteries to engage with, especially regarding timing signals and coordination with others, but it’s really nice having perpetually strong clarity about one’s own path. I’m right where I want to be, going where I want to be going, and experiencing what I want to be experiencing. It’s a very joyful, heart-aligned path. I invite you to explore your own pathway into the land of “I do know” as well, so you can really get into the flow of living your best life.

It’s beautiful what even a modest amount of intuitive sensitivity can do for your life. I haven’t had a job or a boss in 32 years… not since I was 21 years old. I haven’t needed anything like that. I’ve learned how to go with the flow of my best inner knowingness over the years, which brought plenty of great opportunities to my attention and helped me get aligned with them. One example was shutting down my computer games business and getting into self-development blogging back in 2004, a decision other people in my life thought was risky or even foolish. Yet my intuition was plenty loud and clear that it was the right path for me. It clearly was – it’s been such a magical journey and still going strong. Instead of burning out on it, I feel even more excited and aligned with this path today.

CGC is my forever project – a project that will keep evolving and will never be complete. There’s no way I’d have been willing to take on a forever project if I didn’t have really good clarity and trust. As you develop and strengthen your inner senses, you’ll probably find yourself becoming less commitment-phobic. You’ll sense when a long-term commitment is truly right for you.

10. You’ll Learn the Value of Divergent Exploration

Lots and lots of divergent exploration is a big part of CGC’s flow this year.

Have you ever been through other programs that felt over-converged to you? You’re presented with a mostly linear path to follow. That can be comforting and accessible, and it’s a good place for beginners to start, but sooner or later you’ll find yourself feeling disengaged from such an experience because it will fall out of sync with where you want to go.

CGC is extremely flexible. There is no singular linear path through it. As noted previously, it’s very wave-like, experiential, and diverse. You get to decide which experiences to engage with, which helps you build more self-trust and get attuned to your inner guidance instead of leaning on someone else to dictate your flow of discovery. We’ll keep providing the experiences and inviting you into them all throughout the CGC year. You just show up when it feels aligned.

Divergent exploration has some powerful benefits. It can help you connect the dots and discover openings for advancement that you hadn’t noticed before.

Convergent experiences are easier for the mind to trust. Those are the experiences that look good on paper. It’s like watching a preview for a movie that basically shows you the story arc in advance. Then when you watch the movie, it’s rather predictable and formulaic. It’s akin to making small incremental gains in self-development. No major surprises. No big breakthroughs.

Which do you really prefer? Do you like convergent movies that follow predictable patterns, such as the typically well-done but unremarkable Netflix movies? Or do you prefer divergent movies that surprise you and take you on a wild ride?

Take the recent Dune movies, for instance. I know they were well-rated: 83% and 92% from critics via Rotten Tomatoes. I watched Parts 1 and 2. I thought they were well-made and checked all the boxes for what was expected. But I also thought they both pretty much sucked. My physical senses were semi-engaged, but my spirit was saying, “This is shit,” while throwing popcorn at the screen. Did you see those movies? How did you feel about them? Did they inspire you?

By contrast, I loved David Lynch’s version of Dune from 1984. It had many flaws, and he didn’t get final cut, which really pained him in the end. That movie has 37% on Rotten Tomatoes. But I saw sparks of real creative genius in it. I thought it was groundbreaking at the time. I didn’t fully understand it, but it made me want to read the book, which was awesome. Then I watched and rewatched the movie more times over the years, including buying it, and I found it even more incredible. There are some modern movies that I really like too, so this isn’t a question of preferring older version for the sake of them being older. I love movies that seem to keep engaging me long after I’ve seen them. David Lynch’s Dune had that effect on me. The newest remakes felt mostly forgettable.

Do you tend to prefer movies and other experiences that satisfy your expectations or that violate them? For me, and perhaps the answer for you as well, is that it depends on what kind of violation of expectations is occurring and how it impacts me. I can say that it’s disappointing on some level when an experience fully satisfies my expectations with no meaningful violations. If there are no surprises, there’s no growth, and so I’m left with a semi-hollow feeling afterwards. Usually I’d rather take the risk of being surprised because then there’s the potential for a different kind of stimulation that leads to growth.

Rachelle and I are currently rewatching Twin Peaks (a David Lynch series from the early 1990s). We’re a few episodes into season 2 now. It’s one of the most incredible, fun, and engaging shows I’ve ever seen in my life, and it’s very, very divergent. I’ve never seen anything that comes close to Twin Peaks. It’s a true original. While my mind is thinking, “This is really weird,” my spirit is saying, “This is so fucking brilliant. How was he even allowed to make this?”

This type of divergent energy is a big part of my future aspirations for CGC. I want to invite way more creativity into the club this year and beyond. It’s not linear. It’s not predictable. It will make your mind do double-takes sometimes. But your spirit will know that you’re connecting with something truly special that you’re meant to be a part of.

Some of CGC’s divergent surprises won’t do much for you. That’s to be expected. But some are going to land in ways that haunt you, inviting you to process aspects of yourself that are ready to surface.

The over-converged path is Deadsville for me. The coaching-based model we began with back in 2017 is over and done with. Year 7 was a really important transition year, but it still had some anchors to the old convergent energies. This year we’re releasing those anchors and setting sail into a year of abundant divergent exploration together.

If you prefer highly converged, linear modes of learning, then CGC is definitely not for you. If you’re feeling a bit done with that tired, old approach, I invite you to join us for a very divergent kind of year.

11. You’ll Experience the Equivalent of a Yearlong Psychedelic Trip

You don’t have to take any substances because I’ll be doing that for you, and I imagine that some other members will want to partake and help to invite those energies into the club too.

In terms of actual psychedelics, I anticipate personally weaving in at least 4 different ones this year, so that’s going to open up a lot of variety. You might even feel some of this energy already reaching out to you now. Do you feel any unusual sensations as you read this? Hehehe.

The substances serve as doorways and amplifiers, but they aren’t essential. I’ve connected enough with some of these energies that I can connect with their energies without taking any, just by thinking about them. That isn’t uncommon at all in this space.

These energies are hyper-sensitive to intentionality. There’s a BIG difference between using them for recreation and using them for Re-Creation. This year in CGC we’re inviting the latter, although there’s nothing wrong with weaving some fun and playfulness into our intentionality too.

Do you want this to be a powerful year of Re-Creation for you? Think carefully about that because it’s truly a big deal. If you join CGC this year, it won’t be like the experience of previous years because this Re-Creation energy is acting on CGC itself. I can share that it’s already affecting the club as we go through this transition week from Year 7 to Year 8. I can tell you that this is an especially wonky and disorienting time for some Year 7 members who are in the process of deciding if they want to re-up for Year 8. A bunch have already done so, and some have voiced their intention to do so, while others have opted to jump ship at this time – all perfect. And we have new members flowing in and introducing themselves in the club now too, receiving warm welcomes on the inside.

I can feel these swirling energy patterns going through this transition since it affects me too. Part of me is still linked up with the flow of Year 7 while I also feel the strong pull into the different energies of Year 8. Every weeklong transition into a new CGC year feels like a storm of shifting energies to me, which is sometimes difficult to experience. But I know this phase is temporary, and there’s always such an amazing sensation of freshness and wonder when we’re a day or two into that new CGC year. It’s like a feeling of peacefulness, relief, and excitement. I’m so looking forward to reaching that point, this time more than ever, but for now I’m still in the maelstrom of this transition.

I can also share that psychedelic energies were used extensively in designing the “trip” that is CGC Year 8, which is a key reason for so many experiential upgrades. If you join the club this year, you’ll be engaging with these kinds of energies all throughout the year, and let me tell you they can really send your life down some very different paths. These energies are also immensely loving and supportive, but they best support your truest, deepest, highest self – not the layers of self-deception that may have been layered on top of it.

I know this was a lot to read, but hopefully it gave you a lot more clarity, not just about joining or not joining CGC this year but also about your own intentions and path ahead. Whether you decide to join us or to take a different route, please receive my intention for you to have a truly beautiful and wondrous path of growth and happiness this year.

If you want to be a part of CGC Year 8, you know where to find the full invite, and here’s the direct link to the sign-up form. Be sure to decide by the end of May 1st. You’ll get into the club as soon as you join though, so if you do join now, you can get started right away, and we’ll get you into the CGC forums today. Trust yourself.

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Just Be Yourself? To Grow Faster, Do This Instead

Ever heard the advice to “just be yourself” and found it worthless? Me too!

Today’s new video shares a fresh take on how to engage with situations where you may feel like a fish out of water. I invite you to take a deeper look at your identity, self-concept, and mental and emotional flexibility. This compact video covers a lot of ground in only 9 minutes, and there are some fun surprises along the way. 😉

I encourage you to subscribe to my YouTube channel because then you’ll have a better chance of catching my newest videos when they’re released. We’re coming up on 9300 subscribers and continuing to grow. Please share your comments on the new video too.

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2024 Intentions

After nearly 20 years of blogging about self-development, this year I intend to contribute mainly through video instead of writing, which is a big change for me. I want this to be the first year that I publish more new videos than articles. I’ll still share new YouTube videos via my blog, but if you’re into YouTube, you may want to subscribe to my channel there.

In this first new video of 2024, I also reveal many other intentions; recent decisions; and updates about psychedelics explorations, Conscious Growth Club, the new Engage course, and more. I recorded this one mainly for long-term members of this community who are curious about where we’re headed next.

Why YouTube?

One reason I’m committed to investing in YouTubing is that I happen to like YouTube as a user. I’m not on Facebook, Instagram, X, or other social media platforms. I used to be active in those spaces, but I dropped them a long time ago because they all seemed too misaligned to me. I’ve been active in online communities for 30 years now, and I tend to be pretty sensitive to the overall quality, intelligence, and depth of engagements. I find it partly amusing that people have been expressing recent outrage at X (Twitter) after Elon took over because I declared it a cesspool and deleted my account in 2014. I was, however, a bit disappointed when Google Plus shut down since I happened to like that service; I liked that it attracted some pretty smart people who were a joy to connect with.

Even as I withdrew from other online spaces, I found myself using YouTube more and more each year. Today I use it pretty much daily, and I’m a YouTube Premium subscriber. I especially love it for educational videos but also for music and meditations. I think it’s one of the best learning resources the world has ever seen. And it’s so versatile too. Rachelle and I often watch Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel on YouTube while having lunch. I very much appreciate YouTube as a user, and I like the overall vibe I sense from it. I didn’t like it nearly as much in the past, but I feel that it’s been getting a lot better in recent years.

I also feel that YouTube has become a really nice place for communities these days. Many years ago YouTube comments were cesspools of trolling and spam; there was little value in them. But for most of the channels I encounter these days, the comments are civil and often interesting. I find myself engaging with other YouTubers more this way too. I have to give YouTube credit for really cleaning up their act.

Since 2017 Conscious Growth Club’s private community has been my sanctuary. I love high-trust, mutually supportive spaces where people can be honest and real with each other. Outside of CGC I’m feeling good resonance with YouTube. I’d really like to invest in YouTubing for many years going forward, and I really hope they don’t fuck it up! 😛

Partway through the new video, I mentioned building new Action Spirals. An Action Spiral is a habit or routine that you seek to improve each time you run through it. For 2024 I created a new video spiral that I want to continue evolving throughout this year and beyond. For each new video that I create, I want to do something better or different than in previous videos, so I can keep stretching myself to improve at sharing in this way.

I don’t intend to rehash old blog posts and turn them into videos because that isn’t a path with a heart for me. I’m very attuned to what motivates me, and I love to explore and share what’s fresh and new, even as I’m still figuring it out. My blog captures where I was at the time I wrote and published each article, but it doesn’t represent who I am now. I know some people still love the older content and would appreciate seeing video versions of it, but I don’t have any interest in doing that, so please adjust your expectations accordingly. I hope you understand.

As I noted in the video, there hasn’t been a whole lot of carry-over from my long-term blog readers to people who watch my YouTube videos. Typically when I share videos on my blog, it doesn’t generate many extra views on YouTube. Through blogging I’ve built an audience of readers. Some have carried over into YouTube viewers, but I’d say that mostly these are separate groups that don’t overlap a great deal.

I don’t think this is just a matter of a difference in media preference. I sense that investing in a YouTubing community is actually going to attract difference kinds of people than my blog has attracted in the past. I think the vibe of the community will be different. I also imagine that sooner or later, most of the new members flowing into CGC each year will first learn about it from YouTube, not from my blog, and I think that’s going to shift the vibe of CGC too – in a good way.

On the surface this is a bit like starting over, professionally speaking. I currently have fewer than 9K YouTube subscribers, which isn’t a lot, and I’m sure many of them aren’t engaging with my channel since I haven’t been publishing videos consistently yet. I started YouTubing in 2009 and have trickled out about 60 videos since then, but I haven’t really invested much in it since I first opened my account. Half of those videos were published during a 30-day stretch of water fasting and daily video creation in 2017, and they were all shot in single takes with bad lighting, cell phone audio, and no internal editing. Yet many people still appreciated them and kept asking me to make more videos.

To Video and Beyond

You might think this would be a relatively easy transition, especially since I’ve already created dozens of videos as well as live video courses. I’ve done plenty of public speaking, interviews, and more. However, this transition has been surprisingly deep and gradual. For well over a year I’ve been leaning in this direction, but it wasn’t till recently that I really reached my internal tipping point alignment-wise.

The shift in media is just the surface aspect. I’m also wanting to explore new directions topically, especially spirituality, relationships, karma, and way more about the nature of reality. I’m a lot less interested in very objective topics like basic productivity tips or how to graduate from college faster. I am very interested, however, in spirit-level insights that can be used to create interesting changes in our human lives. In recent months I’ve been exploring and experimenting a lot more in that direction.

Exploring psychedelics has impacted me profoundly as well, especially the past five months of micro- and mini-dosing. That’s opened up a whole new world of sensory input to say the least. In all my years of blogging, I’ve never had writer’s block because I’m very attuned to idea space, but now it feels like inner antenna has extended itself much further. It’s like I’ve been gifted with a cosmic library card.

This has really changed how I think about the “self” aspect of self-development. I’m still very into learning, growth, and exploration, but my curiosity is reaching a lot more into nonphysical aspects of existence.

Recently I also read the book Autobiography of a Yogi, which was powerful, eye-opening, and even amusing at times. There are some pretty advanced yogi tales in that book, including people who could fighting tigers bare-handed, teleport to different locations, come back from the dead, create physical structures with their minds, and not eat or drink anything for 50+ years. That’s the sort of info that very objective-minded people wouldn’t likely believe, but I can see them as being possible because the more basic stories align pretty well with my own experiences and the kind of downloads I’ve been getting. I feel like my 20-year exploration of Subjective Reality was just a baby step relative to what else might be possible, and I feel like I’ve recently gone through some kind of spiritual upgrade to be able to see more truth than I was previously permitted to access. The flow of synchronicities has been off the charts in recent weeks for starters.

Next I intend to read the Bhagavad Gita for the first time ever. I got the two-volume set with Paramahansa Yogananda’s commentary (1100+ pages) – he’s the author of Autobiography of a Yogi. I liked his writing style and have long thought about reading the Gita “someday.” I have this strange sense that this book called me to finally read it when I was ready for it. We’ll see how that unfolds…

I can tell that this is going to be a very interesting – and probably very unusual – year. I totally understand that some people won’t want to continue down this path together. Since I posted the new video yesterday, I’ve already lost 11 YouTube subscribers. That is as it’s meant to be. I’ll be sharing some info on this channel that many people aren’t supposed to encounter yet (since it would mess up their human journeys), so they’re going to be diverted away from it. Let’s give them some space to vibe out – with love and appreciation – and then we’ll get into some fascinating and adventurous explorations together this year. 😄

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Beyond Bravery: The Trust Bridge to Genuine Courage

Here’s a new 8-minute video I created to share a harmonious way to build and exercise your courage – one that doesn’t require pushing through fear and resistance.

If you watch the video, I invite you to post a comment on YouTube to let me know your thoughts about the relationship between trust and courage in your life.

Enjoy! 😀

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Consciously Exploring Your Relationship with Drugs

Humanity has a complex, long-term relationship with a wide variety of drugs. In this article let’s delve into your personal relationship with drugs, how you frame them, and how you might upgrade these relationships to be more conscious and aligned with your path of self-development. Let’s include common drug sources like coffee, tea, and chocolate too, so this will be very inclusive.

My purpose here isn’t to encourage or discourage you from using any particular substances but rather to invite you to take a more conscious and honest look at your current frames, attitudes, biases, and behaviors, and determine if you want to make any improvements there.

This isn’t as simple as it may initially appear. You have many options for these relationships, much more nuanced than good/bad or right/wrong. If you’d appreciate a more mature exploration of this topic, you’ve come to the right place.

Language

A key aspect of our relationship with drugs is how we communicate about them, both to ourselves and to others.

Notice how different labels can change how you feel about a drug:

  • Caffeine
  • Coffee
  • Green coffee
  • Organic coffee
  • Pour-over
  • Cold brew coffee
  • Small batch roasted coffee
  • Artisan coffee
  • Sumatra
  • French roast
  • Cuppa
  • Tea
  • Green tea
  • White tea
  • Coke
  • Pepsi
  • Cola
  • Energy drink
  • Red Bull
  • 5-Hour Energy
  • Latte
  • Espresso
  • Cappuccino
  • Starbucks
  • Decaf (still contains some caffeine)
  • Chocolate
  • Dark chocolate
  • Hot chocolate
  • Milk chocolate
  • Chocolate milk
  • Cocoa
  • Cacao
  • Cacao nibs
  • Chocolate sprinkles
  • Chocolate cake
  • Chocolate ice cream
  • Hershey’s Kiss
  • Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
  • Gourmet Chocolate
  • Chocolate Liquor

We could go on with hundreds more, right?

These labels all offer different ways of framing relationships with common stimulants. Mixing a stimulant with other substances like sugar or associating it with experiences like holidays can add complexity to that relationship too.

This variety offers people more inroads to the same type of drug. People may object to many of these pathways, but the drug only needs one acceptable opening to get into your body. You can reject coffee, tea, caffeinated sodas, and so on, but if you’re okay with dark chocolate, then you’re entering into a relationship with a drug, potentially for the rest of your life.

I’m starting with one of the most common drug relationships here so you can begin to grasp the complexity of these relationships and how easy it is for drugs to become a seemingly natural part of our lives these days, so much that we don’t even see it.

Notice how you get a different vibe and cultivate a different relationship with certain substances based on how you label them.

Consider labels like cannabis, marijuana, Mary Jane, pot, weed, etc? Does it make a difference if you see on someone’s dating profile “420 friendly” versus “pothead”?

Do you prefer MDMA, ecstasy, XTC, molly, love drug, Scooby Snacks, or some other name?

Would you rather do an LSD trip or drop acid? It’s the same substance either way, but your verbal framing can change how you relate to it.

Different people prefer different associations. I encourage you to think about how you want to frame these relationships, and consider how your preferences are affecting your behavior. How would it be different if you changed up your labels, such as by referring to your latte as stims instead?

What if Starbucks had an arguably more objective and accurate name like Daydrugs? How might that impact the relationship that people cultivate with it?

Socially Conditioned Drug Relationships

We all grow up learning certain default frames for drugs, and many people essentially stick with those inherited frames for the rest of their lives, never challenging them much.

My parents both consumed coffee daily and only had alcohol (mainly wine) very sparingly like at holidays. I never saw either of them drunk. They never smoked. My siblings and I had relatively easy access to caffeinated sodas, chocolate (including chocolate milk at school), and lots of items containing sugar. Some drugs were framed as normal and fine, others only for adults and only for special occasions, and others off limits entirely. But most of the time the drug label wasn’t applied to the socially acceptable drugs; it will usually just applied to the off-limit substances. And pharmaceutical drugs were typically referred to as medicine.

In my religious upbringing, I learned that Jesus was very non-judgmental about alcohol and even encouraged people to drink wine. Many churches served a sip of wine during mass, including to children. In that context it was socially acceptable.

As a child I also noticed that if I pointed out the confusing nature of these associations to adults or strayed from the socially conditioned framing, such as by referring to coffee as drugs or to a daily coffee drinker as an addict, I’d get some negative pushback. Some people would even vehemently defend their preferred frames. I quickly learned that adults often resisted alternative frames. I found it refreshing when a coffee drinker or chocolate lover would openly admit to being a stimulant addict, shamelessly owning it instead of hiding behind labels that allowed more room for denial. It was interesting that some people shamed any kind of addiction labeling while others simply embraced it as honest.

I also grew up during a time when the War on Drugs loomed large. I remember hearing Nancy Reagan’s “Just say no” campaign being blasted at us. Consequently, I gained an early negative association to the word drug, and I’ve noticed that I still dislike applying that label to certain types of substances where I want to explore a different kind of relationship, such as psychedelics. In fact, I feel better labeling coffee and chocolate as drugs than magic mushrooms, ayahuasca, or LSD. This doesn’t seem to be due to my personal experience (I’ve done mushrooms and aya but not LSD) but rather due to educating myself a lot more and developing a better understanding of the benefits and risks of certain substances.

The War on Drugs lumped psychedelics into the same category as cocaine and heroine, as if LSD and PCP were basically equivalent roads to hell. Meanwhile alcohol and smoking remained legal and socially okay despite how dangerous and addictive they were for so many people.

Mushrooms and LSD are not physiologically addictive. If you tried to consume magic mushrooms (or psilocybin) every day, you’d build a tolerance really quickly, and soon you’d have to be eating a ridiculous quantity to get the same effect. Even to microdose effectively, people need to take frequent days off (such as 4 days on, 2 days off) in order to avoid rapidly building a high tolerance.

I still get a weird internal reaction when I hear someone refer to magic mushrooms, psilocybin, LSD, or ayahuasca as drugs. That label is technically correct, but to me it carries a stigma that these substances don’t deserve. Consequently, I prefer labels like psychedelics, psychoactive substances, or transformational chemistry. These labels help me develop a more rational relationship instead of driving me back into the emotional and irrational framing that was conditioned into me during childhood.

The invitation here is to carefully reflect upon the socially conditioned aspects of your relationships with drugs. Look for bias in those relationships, and consciously challenge those biases to cultivate more honest, truth-aligned, and personally meaningful relationships. This may include changing the labels you apply to these relationships, so you can graduate from the old conditioned judgments that may not serve your highest good.

Intelligence

Take a conscious look at your prior conditioning and see if it’s aligned with accessing your best intelligence regarding how you now relate to certain substances. Did you inherit emotionally loaded frames like I did? If so, it might be wise to upgrade your framing, so you can fully engage your rational mind and not have it suppressed or derailed.

You may also choose to keep some of your older frames if you feel they serve you well. I grew up with a negative association to smoking, and to this day I’ve never smoked a cigarette or cigar. Not one puff. I still have no interest in doing so. I associate smoking with cancer, black lungs, cutting seven years off my lifespan, coughing, lower IQ, being socially stigmatized, repulsive odors, wasting money, being a bad influence on others, a nasty addiction, etc. I really don’t see any upside to smoking that could overcome all those negatives. Consequently, I’m okay with keeping these associations intact, till I see a rational reason to upgrade them. For now I feel that these associations protect me and keep me safer, helping me avoid a well-marked danger zone.

On the flip side, as I’ve been educating myself about psychedelics, I learned that my old associations were just dead wrong. I had highly irrational notions about certain substances and demonized them for much of my life. What helped me start opening my mind was when friends who had used substances such as ayahuasca, mushrooms, DMT, MDMA, and LSD told me their stories, and their reports didn’t mesh with my prior conditioning. That made me curious to start looking for facts, details, and more personal accounts, and that extra digging helped me upgrade my old thinking to be more rational and reality-based, as opposed to irrational and fear-based.

I think a sensible intention is to develop a rational and intelligent relationship with drugs. This means graduating from your childhood conditioning and shedding false notions. Simply seek to learn the truth. That’s a simple intention but a powerful one.

Exploration

Another pathway to upgrade your understanding of certain substances is to give yourself room to explore and experiment. The outside perspective looking in is always different from the inside perspective. There’s just no substitute for direct experience.

That said, I also think it’s wise to do your homework first, and look for promising avenues to explore instead of exploring willy nilly.

I don’t want to explore smoking because I see no promise there. How many people have shared amazing stories of smoking and encouraged me to try it? Zero. How many promising studies have encouraged me to try it? Zero. So that’s the shittiest invitation ever. Instant reject.

With other substances I’ve seen much more promising possibilities. That’s true of coffee, chocolate, ayahuasca, LSD, mushrooms (psilocybin), San Pedro, MDMA, DMT, and several others. There’s no compelling reason to explore the apparent duds when there are much better offers on the table. With psychedelics there’s a new gold rush happening, and it seems well-founded as people really do appear to be finding lots of proverbial gold there.

Just as you can flex with your preferred labels, you may also discover some flexibility in the windows that feel open to you for exploration. For instance, it may feel very different if a trusted friend offers you a puff of a joint at a party versus going out and buying one yourself. So pay attention to accessibility because it’s easier to explore the substances that are more accessible for you.

I used tobacco once during a rapé ceremony at an ayahuasca retreat. A shaman used a pipe to blow it up my nose. And wow was that intense! It felt like my brain was injected with Sriracha for a few minutes. It was also fun and accessible to do it with a group of friends and see everyone rolling on the floor howling afterwards – an odd sort of bonding experience. Even though I retain major negative associations to smoking cigarettes, I still had the opening to engage with tobacco in a narrow ceremonial and social context, and I have no regrets about that. I don’t feel any significant desire to repeat the experience, but I’m glad I took advantage of the opening that presented itself to do that particular exploration.

My first psychedelic experience also presented itself as an open window that I could accept. It was at an ayahuasca retreat center in Costa Rica in 2019. If I accepted the invite, I’d be going with a group of about a dozen friends, and Rachelle would be going too. I didn’t feel any peer pressure to go, but I did see it as a nice opportunity to have an experience in a fun and social way. I liked that I’d be able to go through the integration process with smart, growth-oriented people I knew, and it seemed like it would be a unique bonding experience. It was all of that and more, so I’m really glad I went.

You may think that exploration is risky, and yes there is some risk there. But also consider the risk of not exploring. Missing out on a powerful transformational opportunity can be just as much of a mistake as trying something and having a bad experience. Be careful not to overweight errors of commission because errors of omission can be just as bad or even worse. Imagine missing the chance to permanently upgrade your thinking, emotional baseline, understanding of reality, and so on – that’s a serious risk too.

We humans have a known bias towards irrational levels of loss aversion – i.e. not making advantageous bets when the odds are clearly in our favor because we’re too afraid of losing. It’s important to recognize this and consciously compensate for this bias by giving due consideration to the potential upsides. I do this by adding a bit more weight to exploration and curiosity, which has been working very well for me, particularly when it comes to exploring psychedelics. I like to play it safe while also giving myself reasonable opportunities for significant wins and breakthroughs.

Abstinence

Another option is to choose to abstain from drugs. You can do this on a case-by-case basis, or you can try to universally abstain. If you do the latter, you’ll need to avoid all coffee, caffeinated tea, chocolate, sugar, alcohol, pharmaceuticals, and more. If you want to be ultra-pure, you ought to abstain from tap water too in many areas since it’s contaminated with small amounts of many drugs.

I was fairly purist in abstaining from most drugs, including caffeine and alcohol, for many years of my life, especially during my 20s. Some years I avoided all pharmaceuticals too. I liked the feeling of being super clean. I also went vegetarian and then vegan during those years. I trained in martial arts and ran a marathon too, so this abstinent relationship with drugs meshed well with my overall lifestyle.

My framing back then was very physical. I wanted my body to be as clean as possible. I thought any sort of drugs would degrade my mental and emotional performance, so I felt it best to avoid them.

I think this is a viable option. It can be difficult in some situations, but it’s not impossible. Many people have abstinent relationships with one or more substances and seem very aligned with those relationships.

Moderation

Another option for relating to drugs is to use them in moderation, like an experiential accent to your life. Allow yourself the flexibility for some occasional usage when you think the benefits are worth the risks, and do your best to minimize the potential harm to yourself and others.

In the long run, I found the abstinence approach limiting because it prevented having certain experiences that I might otherwise find worthwhile. So I gradually opened up more to find a different calibration point. I liked having the flexibility to explore now and then. I didn’t find that too great of a sacrifice.

One way to make these decisions is to check in with your anticipated feelings of regret. Are you more likely to regret having an experience or not having it? Make the decision you think will lead to the least regret.

Another option is to go where you think the appreciation will be the greatest. This is my preferred method. I like to ask: On balance will I experience more appreciation from having this experience or from avoiding the experience? That helps me make choices I appreciate (obviously).

Sometimes I have coffee, chocolate, or alcohol, but I will also go months at a stretch without them. I particularly enjoy exploring different kinds of wine with Rachelle now and then, especially after we did a Napa Valley wine tasting trip together many years ago. It’s an occasional indulgence that I enjoy and appreciate, as long as I don’t do it too often.

We like to pour 2.5-ounce glasses (half of a regular glass) of wine, and sometimes that’s all we’ll have in an evening. If we want more, we’ll pour another 2.5-ounce serving. If we order wine or some other alcoholic drink at a restaurant (we usually don’t), we will often split one drink between us. We don’t need many sips to have an experience we’ll appreciate.

In a few weeks when we’re in Scotland, we’ll visit a Scotch distillery as one of many tourist activities, and of course we’re going to try the Scotch. For most of my life I hated Scotch, but I opted to try more varieties of it a few years ago and found some that I like. My current favorite is Speyside Scotch. I don’t like having a lot of it, but just a half-ounce now and then can really enliven my taste buds in an interesting way. Again it’s one of those accents that I appreciate.

Moderation doesn’t work well for everyone though, and it may work better for some substances than others. There are different ways of doing it too.

It’s easy for me to be moderate with alcohol because I don’t find it addictive. My body doesn’t crave it. In fact, when I have some, I can often tell my body would rather avoid it for a while afterwards. I can’t ever see myself falling into the pattern of drinking every day or even every week or month. Rachelle is much the same. We can have alcohol in the house and not feel inclined to touch it for many weeks in a row. But I know others for whom this isn’t an option. If they have alcohol in their house, they’ll consume it daily till it’s all gone.

With coffee, however, I can’t have this same kind of relationship because caffeine is very addictive for me. If I have it once, pretty soon I’m having it every day, usually twice a day. I have gotten better at this, but generally the best I can do if I want to experience coffee is to cycle with it, where I will have it daily for some months of the year, and then I’ll go through the weeklong detox process and have some months of total abstention. When I’m coffee-free, I usually need to be chocolate-free too because chocolate is my gateway drug back to coffee. Same goes with white tea, green tea, etc. Any stimulants, even mild ones, will eventually hurl me back into coffee’s welcoming embrace.

For now I actually like having this on-again, off-again relationship with coffee. I notice that when I’m drinking coffee, my thinking is usually narrower in focus and more linear, like I’m going through a sort of tunnel mentally. Sometimes that’s helpful, like when I want to advance in a pretty clear direction.

When I’m not consuming coffee, my thinking opens up more. My perspective widens. I’m able to see the big picture more clearly. That’s really good for making fresh high-level decisions and balancing many different possibilities. So this relationship with coffee is like shifting between yin and yang modes for me. I like both but at different times of year. It took many years to figure out this balance.

I notice that the balance regulates itself pretty well too just by listening to my inner signals. If I consume caffeine for too many months in a row, my thinking starts becoming a bit chaotic, and I find it harder to focus. I also notice a build-up of joint pain, like while running, as if I’m becoming slightly arthritic. That all goes away within a week after I stop having coffee.

Then after some caffeine-free time, I eventually begin feeling that it would be nice to start having some again. Sometimes that’s an external event like a retreat where I know people will be drinking coffee, or maybe it’s a trip where I know Rachelle will want to visit some nice cafes, and I want to share in that experience with her. This cycling approach lets me appreciate having coffee and also not having coffee.

By contrast many other people I know, including Rachelle, are able to have coffee daily for years with apparently no negative side effects. I seem to be able to do that when I eat all raw or mostly raw. Then I don’t experience the build-up of negative side effects. It could be that the raw foods help to counteract the long-term effects of the coffee in ways that cooked foods don’t.

Pay attention to how your body, mind, and emotions react, especially when taking substances frequently. See if you can adopt an approach that maximizes your long-term appreciation, which may be very different from what you’ve been taught or what you’ve seen other people doing.

I feel that I got stuck for many years by trying to blindly following patterns I learned from others instead of paying more attention to my own inner responses and what they were teaching me about myself. I feel that my own body and mind give me the best advice, but only when I can listen to them directly and open-mindedly, without filtering through preconceived notions and irrational biases.

Trust

This leads into the next type of relationship, which is trust.

One perspective I use today is that all drugs are energy patterns. Each drug is like a software program that interfaces with our personal energy matrices. These encodings are actually purposeful and meant to serve us in some way. I find it wise to trust those encodings. I even see it as being purposeful when people go through phases of addiction, like it’s something their spirit or energy needs to experience for a while. Remember that all drug addictions are temporary.

This doesn’t mean trusting that a drug will always behave as you desire or that there will be no negative consequences. It’s more about trusting the drug to play the role it’s meant to play while also bending its behavior with some intentionality.

Start by trusting that alcohol will behave like alcohol. Trust that psilocybin will behave like psilocybin. But within the range of possibilities for each drug that you’re open to exploring, also invite yourself to develop a trust-based relationship with the substance.

This is much like trusting human beings to behave like human beings actually behave, which is a deeper and more mature level of trust than the immature form that invites trust wounds. The immature form of trust is hoping that people will behave as you want or expect them to.

It’s very difficult for a drug to betray you if you adopt the mature form of trust and let go of the immature form. It’s important for you to assume the responsibility for your role in this relationship too, knowing that you have agency to make intelligent decisions based on a drug’s actual range of possibilities. This includes being more open-minded when you’re not sure about a drug’s likely effects.

Trust is especially powerful and important when using psychedelics. There’s such a wide range of possibilities that it would be foolish to blame the drug for not behaving the way you want it to behave. You’re less likely to be disappointed if you trust psychedelics to behave like psychedelics, which includes allowing plenty of room for surprise.

I found this to be a particular useful frame that gives me enough room to explore and to keep having more growth experiences. I trust that each drug will yield an experience within its range of possible effects, and then I set intentions that align with this range. Alcohol can align with the intention to be more playful and less inhibited. Magic mushrooms could mesh well with the intention to have a deep inner transformational journey. Caffeine might be a good fit for crafting a detailed and thorough article.

Curiosity and Dabbling

Some people explore various drugs to satisfy their curiosity. They may continue to dabble for curiosity’s sake, or they may feel satisfied after a single experience.

Many people have taken a particular drug, such as LSD, one time in their entire lives, and they felt that was enough for them. They satisfied their curiosity and never wanted to repeat the experience.

My relationship with marijuana has been a bit like this. I think I’ve done it six times total, always while traveling. I’ve actually never done it in Las Vegas where I live, even though it’s been legalized here and there are plenty of dispensaries where it’s easily accessible.

I feel like my curiosity about marijuana has been mostly satisfied. It makes me a bit giddy, but otherwise I don’t find the effects very impressive or interesting. I feel like it might be more useful to me if I had depression or anxiety. It’s hard for me to find a good use case for it.

I’m a little bit curious to try vegan gummies at some point, but otherwise I’m way more curious about psychedelic substances like mushrooms, LSD, MDMA, DMT, San Pedro, and a few others. Marijuana seems rather boring by comparison. I actually find caffeine more interesting.

That said, I’m still open to using it very occasionally, like if friends are having it at a party, I might enjoy joining them in the experience. I wouldn’t feel any pressure to do so though.

Curiosity-driven dabbling is a perfectly valid relationship to have with a substance. Don’t feel that you need to press beyond that if a substance doesn’t seem to be offering a worthwhile package of benefits.

Social Use

That leads to another aspect of our relationship with drugs, which is the social side. This is how many people end up trying various drugs in the first place – their peers introduce them to it.

Many people don’t have much of a relationship with certain drugs at all except when they connect to drugs through other people. Some drugs (such as MDMA) affect socialization too, so the experiences can be better when shared with other people.

Consider whether you also want to explore solo experiences at some point and with which substances. That’s an option, and it can be a very different kind of experience.

For many people, it’s not a big deal to drink coffee, eat chocolate, or smoke while alone. But they might frown upon drinking alcohol alone or doing MDMA alone. Notice that you may have different solo and social relationships with the same substances.

Another factor is that the experience can be very different depending on the people you’re with. In some cases this can be even more important than the specific substance and even the dosage.

I feel very comfortable having Rachelle as my sitter for psychedelic explorations because she’s very good at keeping her vibe up, even when I’m having a rough ride. I wouldn’t want to have such experiences with people whose energy, emotions, or behavior might pull me in an undesirable direction like anxiety, stress, worry, frustration, etc. That could too easily lead to a hellishly bad trip. I feel fortunate that my first four psychedelic journeys (ayahuasca) were with positive, growth-oriented friends.

In some ways the safety can be greater during a social experience since there may be other people looking out for you. However, other people can also be a source of risk, whether accidental or deliberate, especially if they’re taking substances too.

I advise you to also consider the supreme importance of an aligned social circle even when you’re substance-free. Consider that a psychedelic trip often amplifies energies that are already present. If you wouldn’t feel safe doing a trip with certain people who are regularly present in your life right now (online or offline), do they even belong in your life at all?

This is an interesting criteria for raising your social standards. For each person in your life, ask: Would I ever want to trip with this person? If the answer is no, consider switching to an abstinent relationship with that person altogether. Free up your energy to attract the right Guild members for you.

Self-Development, Growth, and Transformation

This is my favorite type of relationship to explore with drugs, particularly psychedelics, which show incredible promise when consciously used as tools of personal transformation.

I even think that many other drugs can be used for personal growth, including caffeine and alcohol, when this level of intentionality is brought to the experience, combined with the mature form of trust that I mentioned earlier in the Trust section.

Here are some interesting intentions to consider when using drugs for conscious growth:

  • Show me the next steps on my life path.
  • Teach me what I need to know.
  • Show me how reality really works.
  • Teach me something about reality that I didn’t know.
  • Help me release / overcome / forgive ____.
  • Heal my heart.
  • Show me who I’m meant to be.
  • Let me speak with my higher self.
  • Bathe me in love and oneness.
  • Wake me up.
  • Ignite my soul.
  • Help me develop a trusting relationship with life.
  • Help me let go of fear, anxiety, depression, shame, guilt, regret, etc.
  • Help me transform my relationship with a painful or difficult memory.
  • Tell me about my life purpose.
  • Help me overcome my fear of death.
  • Show me the multiverse, non-physical reality, other dimensions, etc.
  • I invite a love-aligned, non-physical entity to come speak with me.
  • I invite a deceased friend or relative to come speak with me.
  • Open my third eye.
  • Inspire me creatively.
  • Connect me with my muse.
  • Show me the solution to ____.
  • Surprise me. I trust you.

It may take some exploration to determine which intentions give you the most transformational experiences. This is one aspect of psychedelic exploration that I’m super curious about. There are so many different kinds of intentions to explore, and they really do seem to have powerful effects.

I suggest that you don’t blindly follow other people’s advice even if they seem certain about the best intentions to set. I did that with my first ayahuasca experience and found the recommended intentions, such as “Heal my heart,” to not be the best ones for me. Especially beware of presumptuous intentions like that one – Does everyone’s heart really need healing? Assuming that yours needs healing may invite an experience to validate that perspective, but you might have a more worthwhile experience with a very different intention. The “heal my heart” intention took me deep into intense emotional space with lots of crying, but in retrospect I can’t say that it was particularly transformational. I feel like the substance basically put on a show for me because I asked it to. I think I gained more transformational value by inviting ayahuasca’s wisdom to gently dialogue with me on the subsequent ceremony nights.

You can also try single-word intentions. I find those easier to remember when I’m going through the experience. Last time I even wrote them down on paper, so I could physically read them as I was beginning the trip. I used only four words for my intention: deep, gentle, loving, light. That was plenty for a very deep, nine-hour mushroom trip.

Activation and Suppression

Another reason people take drugs is to activate or suppress some aspect of their biology, like turning a volume dial. Many people use caffeine to amp up their alertness, alcohol to help them feel more social and less inhibited, and other drugs to suppress anxiety, depression, or pain.

One aspect to consider here is whether this relationship is serving you. How do you feel about using drugs for this purpose? Are you taking any now for that purpose, and if so, does that relationship feel aligned to you?

This type of relationship with drugs can often be tricky to maintain, especially if the drugs have potential negative side effects. Many women, for instance, have such a relationship with birth control pills, doing their best to balance the risks versus rewards. Because it’s not a perfect solution, this can be an uneasy relationship that retains some tension and doubt even after a decision is made.

This is still a valid way to relate to certain drugs, especially those designed for that purpose. Just be wary of potential side effects and long-term dependency or addiction risks. Be sure to keep checking in with yourself, your body, your thoughts, and your feelings to assess if the relationship is working for you. Be ready to acknowledge when your assessment has changed because many people do eventually experience a change of mind or heart about these relationships. Pay attention to your inner truth, and do your best to honor it.

Curing

One reason many people are turning to psychedelics is that it can enable them to stop taking pharmaceuticals long-term for activation or suppression. They finally cure the underlying condition and reach a new balancing point, solving the activation or suppression issue once and for all.

Psychedelics in particular are offering many people profound transformations as they’re being studied by researchers, scientists, doctors, and therapists. People are reporting overcoming depression, anxiety, PTSD, and various addictions with just one dose. I’ve personally met people who’ve claimed to have had such transformations, both with high doses taken 1-2 times or with long-term microdosing.

With microdosing there’s some variability too, with some people finding that a sufficient duration of microdosing seems to cure or diminish their underlying condition well enough that they can stop microdosing and still retain the lasting benefits, and other people finding that if they stop microdosing, their symptoms soon return. In the latter case, people often prefer long-term microdosing to long-term pharmaceutical use, feeling that it’s safer and healthier for them.

As I shared in my Psychedelic Science 2023 conference review, there’s a lot of promising research unfolding in this area.

This is another situation where it’s important to make a rational and informed decision, and especially watch out for any irrational bias towards loss aversion that could cause you to miss out on something that could be life-changing. The chance to permanently cure or significantly improve a long-term condition like depression, anxiety, PTSD, or addiction is a pretty huge win for some people, especially when steps are taken to minimize the downside risks. Weigh this against the risk of having that same condition for the rest of your life or even seeing it worsen over time.

Creativity

Countless books, movies, and works of art were inspired or assisted by various drugs. One reason is that many drugs help people stretch beyond their default mode of thinking and offer fresh perspectives.

This is an interesting way to open up the flow of creativity and potentially put out more creative work.

I’ve been making a living from my creative work for decades and haven’t had a job in 30+ years, so I don’t feel like I need substances to help me in this area. But I am super curious to see what fresh creative work I might produce with the perspective shifts that psychedelics can open up.

I also notice some extra motivation to write and share more after my recent mushroom trips (three in the last few weeks).

I’ve got a three-week trip to the UK coming up soon, and when I return I’d love to dive into the Engage course that I began working on earlier this year. I’d also like to do some additional psychedelic journeys while developing it. It’s my sixth major course, so I’m up for having a more expansive kind of experience this time. I don’t feel I need psychedelics to create more, but I am curious to see how I might create differently by taking one or more substances along the way.

I also want to write more articles inspired by various insights that came through as a result of processing and integrating psychedelic experiences, not just direct reports about the experiences themselves. The flow of fresh ideas is actually getting to be a bit much this week – way faster than I can actually write them up and publish them.

How do you feel about using drugs for this purpose?

I don’t like the idea of becoming dependent upon drugs for creativity, and I’m glad that was never an issue for me, but I do find it fascinating to see what more we humans can create with drugs as part of the process. I’m glad that many people have been exploring that because I think it really adds value to our lives. So this is an area where I’m very open-minded about doing more personal experimentation.

I also like that this can make the experience of creativity more divergent and adventurous for me, especially after so many years of doing creative work. It keeps my creative future from becoming too tame and predictable.

Pleasure and Recreation

Drugs are commonly used for pleasure, recreation, and entertainment of course, which can be a mixed blessing. Many drugs can make us feel really good, but this relationship may invite a great deal of risk depending on which drugs you use and how the relationship flows over time.

One risk here is that using drugs in this manner can lead to addiction. Another risk is that such usage can gradually numb your ability to feel as much pleasure from other pursuits, such as gaining a sense of accomplishment from completing a task. You may experience a loss of natural motivation if the drug relationship interferes with your normal biochemical reward pathways. This can lead to consuming the drug more frequently or at higher doses in an attempt to restore your previous emotional baseline.

My advice is to be very cautious if you use drugs for pleasure, especially if you perceive a meaningful risk of getting addicted or throwing your physiology out of whack. Trying to maintain this type of relationship with drugs has been a slippery slope for many people.

I personally know someone who became very addicted to cocaine, and that addiction wrecked his career, finances, and marriage. He maxed out his personal and business credit to buy more cocaine, then secretly opened new credit accounts under his wife’s name without telling her and maxed those out too. Eventually his house of cards came tumbling down, and he finally began working on overcoming his addiction. With strong encouragement from her family to get the hell out that relationship, his wife left him while he was in rehab. He eventually rebuilt his life in a new direction, including becoming very religious, but it sure wasn’t easy for him. He really seemed like a different person afterwards, perhaps because I’d grown accustomed to his cocaine-fueled personality. That’s another factor to take into consideration – that drugs may reshape your personality to such a degree that you may end up having to rebuild a lot of human relationships after getting off them, possibly because people will be left wondering if they ever really knew you.

One way to help prevent this relationship from overtaking you is by having some totally drug-free weeks or months every year, ideally combined with eating a super clean diet. For me this means abstaining from coffee, chocolate, alcohol, and anything else that may be considered a drug. I will often eat fully or mostly raw for many weeks in a row too; in 2021 I did that for the whole year. I like to give my body plenty of clean stretches. I find these periods really good for detoxification, mental clarity improvements, emotional rebalancing, and resetting any potential drug-related tolerances (mainly caffeine). One benefit is that doing this regularly can restore your sensitivity to various drugs. Many foods will taste and smell better afterwards too.

Another good practice is to place extra rails on when you’ll use drugs for pleasure, so as to limit how frequently you’ll do that. As I noted earlier, I’ve only smoked pot while traveling and only with other people, so I never created an association to doing it at home, in my home city, or by myself. That makes it pretty tough for me to get addicted to it. I’ve met people who can’t seem to function without smoking pot daily, and I have no desire to go that route since it seems like a fairly sad place to be, so I regard such people as useful signposts warning of the potential dangers of going too far with a particular drug relationship. I remember cuddling with such a woman once and noting how fragmented her energy felt, as if her spirit was broken into shards like a shattered mirror.

Be ultra-cautious about taking drugs where pleasure is the primary benefit, such as heroin. That can really spiral your life downward quickly. Personally I prefer to maintain an abstinent relationship with such substances that have such a high risk to reward ratio.

With many types of psychedelics, pleasure-based addiction is highly unlikely. It’s pretty much unheard of to get addicted to LSD, for instance. Even when microdosing regularly, LSD isn’t likely to create a physiological addiction. With some psychedelics that can produce pleasurable feelings though, such as MDMA (Ecstasy), it’s possible to take it more frequently than is wise due to a desire to experience those delightful feelings again. For some people this can create negative side effects like feeling down when not taking MDMA.

This is one reason I feel pretty safe exploring psychedelics. I see little chance of ever becoming addicted to them. It’s nice to have some space between sessions, so I can do the deep inner work of integration by journaling, reflecting, and discussing the experience with friends. I like that psychedelics don’t take me away from socializing but actually improve my social life. So instead of using drugs for pleasure, consider the big picture of using drugs to increase your overall happiness, especially when you’re not actively taking them.

Be sure to consider the risk-reward ratio too. In terms of potential harm to oneself and others, alcohol is perhaps the most dangerous common drug out there, followed by heroin, meth, cocaine, and tobacco. Cannabis is significantly safer than all of those. And mushrooms, LSD, MDMA, and Ketamine are all significantly safer than cannabis. See this drug safety chart for more details.

I like exploring with mushrooms because they’re a lot less risky than other substances, and I can see with my eyes that a shroom is a shroom, as opposed to wondering what a pill may actually contain. Most MDMA isn’t pure, for instance, since it’s cut with other substances. I also don’t have to worry about what dubious source I might be supporting with mushrooms since they aren’t coming from some cartel operation.

Escape

Another common use of drugs is to escape. Take a break from life by putting it on pause for a while, or at least make it seem that way. It’s a coping strategy for dealing with life’s pressures (work, money, relationships, family demands, etc.). For some it’s an escape from boredom.

How this relationship develops depends on your frequency and intensity of escape. Are you using drugs occasionally as a pressure-release value or perhaps to add a bit more variety to your life? Does this help you return to your life with a bit more capacity afterwards? This kind of escape-based relationship can be very positive, like taking a vacation now and then.

Alternatively, have drugs become a more frequent escape, such that your life is essentially on pause and failing to advance? Is this relationship with drugs interfering with your human relationships, fueling more disconnection and isolation? This can be a very problematic relationship for anyone who values growth and self-development, essentially trapping you in a dead end for a while.

Use escape to help you do the work of developing yourself. Be wary of trying to escape from doing the work itself though.

One significant risk of using drugs for frequent escape is that it can become a version of slow suicide, all the way till you’ve escaping your body through death. Spiritually I like to hold the view that there’s really no escape there because you’ll simply carry those problems with your afterwards. It’s easier to work through them while you’re here.

You may find it beneficial to use drugs for occasional escape, such that you’re better able to do the work of being human. This is another situation where the standard of appreciation can help. Ask yourself if you’d likely appreciate a brief escape. I especially like to ask if my future self would appreciate it. That gives me a pretty clear answer as to what my best thinking has to say about the option.

Performance

One interesting use of drugs is to enhance mental and/or physical performance. Caffeine, Adderall, and steroids come to mind here.

In this context consider whether the drug will be used only occasionally to yield a long-term performance boost afterwards, such as with psychedelics, or it it must be taken regularly to provide those benefits. The latter situation generally entails more risk, including the risk of addiction and other side effects that may worsen the longer you consume the drug.

Last month I learned that psychedelics have been used by athletes for this purpose. Psychedelics don’t really help with physical performance, and if they did they’d likely be banned in many pro sports. However, psychedelics can help with improving emotions that affect performance, such as by creating a stronger sense of teamwork, and they can also help with pain in some situations. NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers is one such athlete who used psychedelics in a sports context. I saw him speak about it at the Psychedelic Science 2023 conference a few weeks ago.

If you take any drugs for performance reasons, I also recommend going drug-free for some extended time periods (ideally for at least a month or two each year) in order to reset your baseline. This can actually make the drug more effective if and when you start taking it again.

One thing I like about psychedelics is their potential to offer a long-term mental or emotional upgrade even from taking the drug only once (if the dosage is high enough). Their relative safety makes this an interesting bet to make. I particularly loved hearing John Mackay’s story at the PS2023 conference, where he shared how taking LSD had a profound effect on him, which eventually led to the founding of Whole Foods. He acknowledged that Whole Foods wouldn’t exist if not for his taking LSD. It’s fascinating how a very small amount of certain substances can unlock a whole lot of performance in some people.

Addiction and Dependency

Addiction and dependency are common aspects of people’s relationships with drugs. Although this is usually not due to conscious choice, it can be, such as when someone willingly starts consuming a substance they know from prior experience will almost certainly re-habitualize them, and they choose to do so anyway.

Because addiction and dependency can cause serious problems with some substances, including to your health, finances, and the well-being of others, it’s wise to do your homework first and research a new substance to learn about its effects, history, and likelihood of addiction. Look to your family history of drug use since that’s a good predictor as well. My family doesn’t have a history of alcohol addiction that I’m aware of, but I know that one distant relative died from cancer due to smoking, and I see that caffeine dependency is common in my family. The biggest addiction I see in my family tree is religion, so I feel fortunate to have shed that one during my teenage years, preferring to maintain an abstinent relationship afterwards.

I don’t consider dependency to be a binary state but rather a continuum. I think an interesting way to gauge your level of attachment is when you consider going a year without a particular substance. What’s your inner reaction to that?

Could you go a year with zero caffeine, including no coffee, caffeinated tea, or chocolate? If you feel significant internal resistance to that, I’d say you have some level of dependency there. I recognize this in myself too. I can do a year stimulant-free and have done so many times before, but when I’m drinking coffee regularly, I also recognize that part of me will emotionally resist that idea.

What about cannabis? Could you do a year pot-free? With that question I get zero resistance – that would be a breeze. The last time I smoked pot was in 2013, so I’ve already gone a decade without it. I think I’m pretty safe in claiming dependency-free status there. I know plenty of people who’d react with strong resistance to the suggestion of taking a year off though.

I think there’s more subtlety to dependency than this though. You might want to continue exploring your relationship with a substance but not feel physiologically addicted to it. It can be tricky to assess the difference, but pay attention to which part of you the objection is coming from when you consider taking a year off. How needy does that objecting part feel? Also consider why you’re taking the substance.

I do think it’s more likely to point to some level of dependence if you’re consuming a substance for pleasure or escape, and when you consider taking a year off, the objection feels clingy and emotional, as if you’d be deprived of a basic need. Contrast this with having a mild sense of disappointment regarding missing out on the growth and transformation benefits if you abstain for a lengthy period of time – having more of a modest “Ah that would be a shame to abstain” feeling. Presently I get that sort of feeling when I think about taking a year off of psychedelics. The part of me that objects doesn’t feel needy or clingy. The objection feels like it’s coming from a more rational part of me that thinks I might miss out on some really interesting growth lessons and potential transformative gains if I put this exploration on pause for that long.

Another way to tell if you’re dependent or addicted is to stop all consumption for a while and see how your body reacts. If you get withdrawal symptoms, that’s a good sign you’ve developed a dependency, and your physiology needs time to adapt to life without the substance.

Lots of humans are long-term drug addicts in the physiological sense, especially with caffeine, cigarettes, alcohol, and various pharmaceuticals. I think the important factor here is to be honest, and to really assess your relationship with an addictive substance, it’s important to reflect upon your relationship from both sides – when you’re consuming it and when you’re not. Then compare notes.

A good way to do this is to journal about your relationship with the substance, sometimes while you’re consuming it and sometimes while you aren’t. Then read those entries back, again both while you’re consuming and while you aren’t. This will help you develop a broader perspective.

I did this with caffeine and found that I have a relatively positive relationship with it when I haven’t been consuming it continuously for too long. But if I have it daily for several months at a stretch, that relationship predictably sours, and then I feel much better switching to caffeine-free abstinence for a while.

To make this assessment of course requires that you take some time off from a substance. You can use this method in a broader sense too, especially when facing tricky decisions. For instance, how do you feel about your work when you’re at work and when you’re at home? Write journal entries about it at work and at home, and read them back in those different environments to compare. This will give you a more balanced perspective.

Shame, Fear, Guilt, and Regret

Negative emotions can become a part of people’s relationships with drugs for a variety of reasons. The illegality of many substances can be an issue, especially if you run into legal problems. Another issue can be the impact on your finances if you’re spending a lot of money on drugs or if drug use is negatively impacting your finances or income. More issues can arise if you’re worried about or subjected to judgmental attitudes from others. And there can be impacts to your work life as well, such as the risk of losing your job if your employer learned about your drug use.

If you have negative emotions wrapped into your relationship with any substances, there’s always the invitation to sort those out and decide what’s really true for you. See if you can separate the truth aspect of your relationship (i.e. the facts) from the interpretation that you and others may be layering on top of it (i.e. the assignment of meaning). Even as the facts may continue unchanged, you always have the power to alter the assignment of meaning.

I grew up being conditioned to layer a very negative – and highly irrational – assignment of meaning to drugs. It took a while to re-educate myself and teach my brain more truth, a process which is still ongoing. I found it important to be more flexible and open-minded regarding the assignment of meaning regarding drug consumption because that largely determines how I feel about it. I want to assign meanings that aligns with rationality, not with someone’s manipulative agendas.

I see no point in assigning meaning that generates negative emotions like shame, guilt, fear, and regret. Those assignments of meaning often trace back to someone else trying to encourage those emotions as leverage for control. Once you see that, it’s easier to dump those frames, which restores your own freedom to choose a more intelligent meaning.

For instance, are you a bad person or a derelict if you use drugs? Who wants you to feel that way? Whom does that framing serve? Yup, someone who wants to control your behavior. Do you want to be controlled?

What if you’ve made some big mistakes with drugs and got into some major trouble with them? You can still let the facts be the facts. There’s no need to feel bad about that. We humans make lots of mistakes. It makes more sense to own that. Shaming ourselves about it doesn’t actually help, so we can simply skip that part.

I prefer to frame mistakes as lessons and give myself room to make mistakes without beating myself up about it. It’s all part of the learning process. Drug-related mistakes can actually provide many benefits, such as turning into humorous stories when retold, which can lead to more intimacy and connection with people. I often love hearing stories about people’s worst drug-related experiences because when enough time passes, they tend to reflect back on such times with a sense of humor and hard-won wisdom, and we can connect over the sheer craziness of it all.

Also consider that if you use shame and guilt on other people, that’s going to affect your relationships with them, and you’re likely to hear less truth from them in return. If you’re doing this with anyone, also consider whether its a manipulative control strategy, and take a deeper look at whether that’s the kind of person you really want to be. Trying to make someone feel bad about themselves is very different than setting, communicating, and maintaining clear boundaries for yourself, your home, etc. You can maintain the boundaries you need without needing to manipulate anyone emotionally.

Ownership and Responsibility

For various reasons there can be a lot of denial regarding drug use. I want to distinguish this from keeping secrets, which you may be doing for very rational reasons, such as to prevent potential harm, legal jeopardy, or loss for yourself and others. Or you may prefer to avoid having to hear other people’s judgments, especially if you don’t find them helpful or productive.

I think one of the healthiest ways to relate to drugs is with ownership and responsibility. If you’re doing any sort of drugs, remember that you’re the one making that decision, so you might as well own it. If things have gotten out of control or if you’ve become addicted, you might as well own that too.

Where does your relationship with drugs exist? It’s all in your mind. The way you think and feel about that relationship is the relationship. Regardless of how much control you think you have, the responsibility for that relationship rests with you because you’re the one who has to deal with it.

Keep your hand on the wheel of responsibility. This includes being responsible for your feelings. If you don’t like the emotions that are bubbling up within you, you can invest in changing them as well. This won’t necessarily be easy, but it’s easier than dropping into helplessness.

I do a lot of self-development exploration, and I’ve so often seen how important is to fully own what I’m exploring, even if I’m relatively new to it and don’t really know what I’m doing yet. With any new exploration, there’s that bumbling beginner phase. I found it best to own my right to explore well beyond my current competencies. That’s how I learn and grow. It makes no sense to stick to what I know for sure because then I’ll stop growing. I’ll have more to offer and share with the world if I keep learning and exploring, and there’s value in sharing during the beginner phase as well.

I found that other people’s judgments were much worse when I wasn’t fully owning this aspect of my life, as if for some reason I needed to apologize for wanting to stretch myself. Some people also held the ridiculous notion that I was obligated to satisfy their expectations of me and that if I didn’t, they had to nudge me back in line. I quickly learned to enforce a stronger boundary there and to make it clear that I didn’t consent to suffering fools who’d object with harsh judgments whenever I got into something new. That worked very well, and it seems like I did a very good job of shedding those types of people a long time ago. It was a good kind of purge.

How many people have expressed objection to my exploration of psychedelics this year? I’m pretty sure it’s zero; at least I don’t recall anyone doing so. That isn’t because psychedelics aren’t controversial. I’m convinced it’s because I fully own this exploration. Holographically speaking, this is yet another pointer to the importance of having strong intentionality, similar to what happens during a psychedelic journey.

I say that if you’re going to consciously explore drugs, do your best to fully own it. Pre-decide what you’ll share about your explorations and whom you’ll share it with. And declare a boundary that you needn’t deal with anyone’s irrational judgments or attempts to emotionally manipulate you.

Recognize too that a lot of very smart, creative, high-contributing people have consumed various drugs during their lives. Many credit such experiences as major turning points.

Rebellion

One last relationship you can have with drugs that I’ll mention is that of rebellion. This probably won’t be part of your relationship with coffee or chocolate, but it could show up in your relationships with other drugs if there’s a part of you that wants to use them to thumb your nose at society or authority.

Exploring drugs can indeed serve as a way to assert your independence and slough off other people’s attempts to control or manipulate you. This is a phase that many people go through, and it can be a very positive step forward.

I do recommend that if this is part of your relationship with drugs, make it a temporary one. The problem with rebellion is that it’s a reactive type of relationship. Initially it can help you become more free, but if you stick with the rebel framing for too long, it actually makes you less free. Rebels need something to rebel against, and you may eventually want to relate to drugs in a more flexible way, without needing anything pushing against you.

When maintained for too long, the rebel posture can influence you to do drugs in less purposeful ways, such as when you don’t really want to be doing them. It may also encourage you to explore substances that don’t offer much long-term promise yet have major downsides, such as cigarettes.

Feel free to drive through the rebel tunnel, but don’t park inside it, lest the fumes consume you.

* * *

I applaud your endurance if you’ve read this far, and I hope this helped you reflect upon your relationship with drugs with more conscientiousness. We covered many different ways of relating to drugs, but this isn’t an exhaustive list by any means. How you relate to drugs can be complex, and you have many options for exploring these relationships throughout your lifetime.

One way of framing this challenge is to discover what modes of relating to drugs you appreciate most. For some that may be a form of abstinence. Others might prefer to dabble here and there. And still others may find value in deeper explorations. As you continue to learn and grow, your relationships with various drugs may evolve as well.

At this time in my life, I feel aligned with an attitude of curious yet cautious exploration with thoughtful intentionality. An especially rewarding aspect is how this pursuit has deepened my sense of connectedness and intimacy with people and with reality. I feel more present to the social aspects of life, and I feel more sensitive to the signals of intuition and inspiration. ❤️

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Direct Core Relationships

Have you thought much about the core relationships you’d like to cultivate with life, such as your relationships with work, people, physical reality, your body, government, creativity, entertainment, time, food, intimacy, home, etc?

You surely have many specific instances of these relationships showing up in your life, such as a particular job or family member. But have you ever stepped back from the specifics to make some high-level decisions about the purest forms of these relationships that you want to experience? There’s tremendous power in doing this since it helps you elevate your standards, define boundaries, sculpt your character, and make wiser decisions.

Remember this: You won’t necessarily get what you want; you’ll get what you tolerate.

If you want to experience your desires, stop tolerating less than your desires. Don’t be so easily seduced by partial matches.

Repeatedly engaging with whatever shows up in your life and making decisions based on the menu that life presents you, however randomly, can eventually lead to a semi-chaotic mess. You may end up with a job that’s so-so, work that lacks purpose, a place to live that’s just okay, a romantic relationship that sometimes works but is mostly stringing you along, a body you wish would be better, and so on. Ordering off the limited standard menu is a surefire pathway to the land of partial matches.

Consider the difference between these three options:

  1. Go to a typical restaurant, and make the best choice you can by ordering off the menu.
  2. Pre-decide what type of meal (from anywhere) would please you most, and then either make it yourself or go to the restaurant where you expect to find that meal.
  3. Reflect and decide what kind of high-level relationships you want to have with food, dining, and your body; then determine which meals would most honor those relationships and where you can find those meals.

In the first case you’re more likely to receive a partial match or a mismatch. In the second case, you’re being more proactive about clarifying what a match looks like and where you can expect to find it. In the third case, you’re assuming even more responsibility by reflecting upon the big picture and how you can honor your most consciously chosen standards.

The third case let’s you channel more power and make lower level decisions that you might not otherwise consider. For instance, you might move to a different part of town to be closer to the healthiest food options. Or move to a city with the kind of culture you really want to experience. It’s difficult to justify these kinds of decisions, if you haven’t clarified and committed to your high-level standards.

Accepting the Obvious

One benefit of thinking at the higher level and making decisions there first is that it helps you accept the obvious. You’ll recognize when you’re going to the wrong restaurant for you because it won’t satisfy your high-level standards. It won’t honor the direct core relationship you want to experience.

Many people don’t want to face this simple truth, so they remain in denial, telling themselves they’ll just have to make the best of what shows up. I get emails from people living in the Bible Belt, for instance, lamenting that they can’t seem to find intelligent, open-minded relationship partners there. Ya think?

Another common instance is when someone would choose to do creative work yet finds themselves in an uncreative department, an uncreative school, an uncreative company, or an uncreative field. They may get sucked into thinking of their career options based on the limited field of “opportunities” around them, instead of acknowledging the obvious.

When you look deeply into your desires and decide what you want at the higher levels, it’s important to accept the obvious, which is that you won’t get far unless you commit to those standards, which means you’re going to have to start dismissing and rejecting partial matches.

Passing the Test

Most likely when you make some high-level decisions – real decisions, not wishy-washy pretend ones – about the direct core relationships you want with different area of life, you’ll find life testing your resolve. You may encounter even more partial matches or mismatches, as if life is tempting you to settle for less. It is tempting you. Life wants to find out how certain and committed you are. It doesn’t want to meet your standard if it doesn’t have to.

This is the time when it’s most important to maintain your standards and keep them high. Accept the test that life is offering you, and pass it by rejecting the partial matches. Keep reaffirming what you want. Don’t settle. Reminder yourself that the direct core relationship you want is possible, but not if you settle for less.

If you want to do work that feels meaningful and purposeful to you, decline the job that’s almost purposeful. Hold out for the one that really lights you up.

If you want a sexually engaging relationship, decline the partial match that feels sexually stunted.

Passing the test includes dealing with the inner objections that may arise along the way, like the voice that tells you you’re being unreasonable, the voice of impatience, and so on.

Reciprocity

Don’t expect a free ride because relationships run both ways. Clarify what you’re willing and able to give to each relationship as well as what you desire to receive. What’s the overall experiential package?

If you want to do creative work sustainably, what’s your commitment on the giving side? In addition to publishing your work, will you also mentor and support others? Will you share openly about your creative process to help other creative people?

If you want a generous lover, will you also be a generous lover? Is that part of your commitment too?

For many people it’s easier to raise their standards on one side (giving or receiving) and harder on the other. Some people find it relatively easy to clarify their personal desires, but they aren’t offering much to life in exchange, so the offer falls flat. Other people find it natural to give and serve others, but they find it difficult to decline situations where they aren’t receiving much.

Regardless of the challenges, life seems to appreciate (and often require) reciprocity, especially when it’s so deeply woven into the offer that we no longer see much separation between the two sides.

A Personal Example: Community vs. Commerce

One example of a direct core relationship decision was that I wanted to socialize directly with the people I serve through my work and business. This decision was largely born of pain from doing the opposite at first. During the first five years of running my computer games business in the 1990s, I mainly worked with publishers. They would fund my game projects, but all of the customers would be theirs. Note that this was before social media, so there weren’t already established ways to build direct relationships with customers. There was no Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, etc. There was no Google yet either.

I soon discovered that I found more joy in these direct customer relationships than I did in going through publishers as gatekeepers. I kept leaning in this direction, releasing some small games directly online, even though it wasn’t working very well financially at first. Customers began emailing me feedback, so I could finally interact with them a little. I added a customer discussion forum to my website way before that was popular. I also hosted an indie developer forum for many years to connect with peers in the field. These weren’t financially lucrative decisions, but I felt more engaged with the business when I made more community-oriented choices. It just seemed like the right standard for my overall happiness, and over time I began clarifying the importance of this community relationship aspect and choosing to do it more consciously.

This direct community aspect remains a big part of my life and work to this day, both with customers and with peers, and I’ve explored it in many more ways, such as with our workshops, courses, and Conscious Growth Club.

Another aspect of my work is that I like to run my life and business based on casual social rules as opposed to commercial rules as much as possible. It’s important to make a sustainable income and to deliver on business commitments and responsibilities, but otherwise I prefer to operate with a more community- and service-oriented mindset and heartset. That’s one reason I like to open Conscious Growth Club for new members only once a year. This allows us to get the transactional part handled in a week, and then we can spend the rest of the year relating, connecting, and growing as human beings without having to deal with any commercial aspects. There aren’t any upsells or financially-oriented decisions to deal with inside the club, and that’s exactly how I like it. I prefer to focus on serving and connecting with people as friends and colleagues inside, and I like having a community that resonates with that approach.

Many businesses are very businessy. It’s obvious that they play mainly by commercial rules, not social ones. I think they have their place in the world, but I never resonated with working in that kind of operation, nor with building one. I love intimacy – and hugs – and too much commercialization gets in the way of that. I do what’s necessary on the financial side to keep my life and work abundantly sustainable, but I’m way more motivated by community and connection. Most days that I’m working, I don’t think about money at all. I spend way more time thinking about the people that I regularly connect with.

So this is an example of acknowledging that the businessy way of doing business isn’t a match for me. It’s not even a partial match. It’s just a mismatch. It doesn’t help me create the kind of life I want to experience.

In considering the direct core relationship I want to have with my work and business, I’ve been able to clarify that I want to prioritize the community and co-creative exploration aspects above the commercial aspects. This helps me make more aligned decisions that feel right to me. I like being a person who can freely explore, share, and connect with people in deep and meaningful ways. I like being a person who doesn’t put so much emphasis on transactions yet who can still manage that aspect of life and business without feeling overly resistant to it. I like earning enough money that I can ignore money most of the time, so I can focus more energy and attention on what matters.

Living by Your Own Rules

Pay attention to how you feel when following different rules and standards. Notice where inner objections arise. How do you feel when a business treats you only like the money you’re worth to them. How do you feel when people set commerce aside and connect like real human beings, even when there’s a transactional aspect involved?

How do you feel about the standards you’re currently honoring in life? Are any of these standards screaming for an upgrade?

It’s a Sunday morning, and I felt inspired to write and publish this right after I got up, before having any breakfast. Is today a workday? I don’t know. I just like honoring the energy of inspiration when it shows up; that’s part of the direct core relationship with life that I enjoy and appreciate.

In a few weeks, I’ll be traveling to Belfast, Edinburgh, and London. I’ve been to London twice before, but this will be my first time in Northern Ireland and Scotland. I love exploring new places; it lights me up inside, and it further honors the core relationship I want to have with life – a highly engaged one.

What are the rules and standards by which you want to live? I encourage you to reflect upon them and clarify what really matters to you. Realize that you needn’t follow anyone else’s rules or expectations. If you don’t like the rules that have been presented to you, rewrite them. You’re not limited to the current menu.

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Today’s Your Last Chance: Transform Your Life with Conscious Growth Club Year 7 🌟

Today marks the final day to join Conscious Growth Club (CGC) for Year 7, and we want to ensure you don’t miss out on this life-changing opportunity. The enrollment period ends at midnight Pacific Time tonight, May 1st. If you’ve been on the fence about joining, now is the time to take action and become a part of our amazing, transformative community.

Throughout the years, our members have experienced significant personal growth, from starting new businesses to achieving their health goals, and even embarking on life-changing adventures. CGC has been instrumental in providing the support, resources, and connections needed to help our members create these powerful transformations in their lives.

As the enrollment deadline approaches, we’re excited to share that we’ve welcomed 30 members to CGC Year 7 so far. Our community is buzzing with anticipation for the growth, connections, and adventures we’ll share together in the upcoming year.

Joining CGC offers a unique opportunity to accelerate your personal growth journey. By becoming a member, you’ll gain access to a supportive and inspiring community, diverse learning opportunities, enhanced accountability, and so much more. We have exciting new call formats and improvements for CGC Year 7, which I’ve shared previously on my blog.

To help you better understand the CGC experience and the benefits of joining our vibrant community, I’ve created two informative videos:

A video highlighting 20 powerful benefits of joining CGC (13 minutes):

A video about the community aspects of CGC (12 minutes):

You may also want to peruse the CGC FAQ for even more info about the club. We’ve carefully crafted this resource to address a variety of topics, ensuring you have all the information you need to make an informed decision. There’s even a walkthrough video showing the CGC portal and private forums (see the second FAQ item).

One of the key benefits of joining CGC is the accountability it provides. Members are encouraged to share their goals, progress, and challenges with the community, fostering a strong sense of support and camaraderie. This level of accountability can be a game-changer, helping you to stay focused and committed to your personal growth journey.

Don’t miss this once-a-year opportunity to join Conscious Growth Club and embrace the growth, connection, and transformation it offers. We’re here to support you every step of the way in a warm and nurturing environment.

Are you ready to embark on your personal growth journey with CGC? Join now and secure your spot in CGC Year 7 before the enrollment window closes tonight!

Join CGC Year 7 Now

To your continued growth and success! 🌟

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20 Powerful Benefits of Joining Conscious Growth Club

The deadline to join Conscious Growth Club is tomorrow, May 1st, and we always get a surge in sign-ups that day. To make your decision easier and give you even more clarity about CGC, I recorded a succinct new video, focusing specifically on the personal impact of being a part of this vibrant community. This is a follow-up to our previous video, which highlighted the community aspects of CGC. Now, let’s dive deeper into how CGC can help you flourish, transforming your life in meaningful ways.

Seize this once-a-year opportunity to join CGC during our annual enrollment period, which comes to a close at the end of May 1, 2023.

Discover more about the enriching personal benefits of joining Conscious Growth Club and how it can support you in developing focus, consistency, and accountability; enhancing your personal growth journey, and cultivating a life filled with abundance, joy, and authentic experiences. Visit our invitation page for more information:

Learn More About CGC

I’m genuinely excited to welcome you into our community and embark on this transformative journey together! Here’s to an awesome Year 7! ❤️

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Get Fired as Quickly as You Can

This week Rachelle and I have been attending the NAB Show, a major creative conference and expo in Vegas covering content creation and production across film, radio, TV, broadcast, streaming, and more. This is the show’s 100th anniversary, so it’s been evolving over many years. I’ve never been to it before, but I heard of it last year, and Aputure offered us free passes this year, so I figured we’d at least check it out. I’m glad we went since it’s been worthwhile.

My favorite part was a one-hour conversation with Brett Goldstein, who was very warm, open-hearted, and funny. Brett is the actor who plays Roy Kent in the Ted Lasso series, and he shared a lot of creative wisdom.

The moderator was Ashley Nicole Black, one of Brett’s co-writers on Ted Lasso. She shared an interesting and effective piece of career advice she’d received as a writer: Try to get fired as quickly as you can.

She took that to mean that instead of trying to fit in as a new writer on a team, share all the ideas that you sense could get you fired for going too far or for being too odd or over-the-top. That’s where you’ll find your creative gold.

This will likely get you fired from teams where you really don’t belong – teams that won’t appreciate what you bring to the table. And that’s a good thing since it will free you up to discover where you do belong.

Both Ashley and Brett agreed that the ideas that you’d think people will reject most harshly are often the best career-making moves. This included Brett suggesting that he be cast as Roy Kent in Ted Lasso, which could have backfired badly since he was a writer for the show. He had a strong feeling that he was meant to play that character, so he went with his gut and made the offer. What if he’d held back and played it safe instead?

“Try to get fired as quickly as you can” could be a nice mantra for finding the work and career path that can handle your full range of strengths and talents. If you try to fully express those aspects of yourself where they aren’t appreciated, you could easily get fired.

Brett also shared that he’s come to believe that there are really no bad ideas – just bad timing and bad context. A seemingly bad idea in one situation might be brilliant in another.

Even if your potential strengths are rough around the edges, you still need to start expressing them in order to hone them. They won’t get any better if you hide them.

Want a lifeless and mediocre career instead? Don’t rock the boat and try to fit in. That’s a great way to end up where you don’t belong. Are you in that situation now? You can still apply the advice here, starting today.

This works if you own a business too. Think of it as scaring away the customers, clients, and partners who can’t handle your uniqueness. If you still have a viable business after that, you probably have a keeper that you can invest in long-term. And you’ll get to serve people who appreciate what you do for them. Plus you won’t have to deal with the headaches of bending over to serve total mismatches.

I’ve seen time and time again that the ideas that felt risky or edgy to me were often those that produced the most value for people. The articles that I was most hesitant to publish were frequently the most impactful. I’ve enjoyed a delightful lifestyle thanks to the simple, repeated act of sharing honestly.

Instead of fearing criticism and consequences from people who aren’t a match for you anyway, you may as well deliberately court their rejection to speed things along. For instance, if Trump supporters are a lousy match for your business – as they are for mine – channel your inner Logan Roy and tell them to fuck off! They need to hear it because they’re being really, really stupid. Then focus on serving the people you like and respect. Remember the rule: Mutual respect or disconnect.

Some people have an objection to this because they feel that we should all be connected on a spiritual level. Hey… spirit gave rise to differentiation too, so don’t be so afraid of it. Go ahead and love everyone at the level of spirit, but dump the mismatches on the mental, physical, and emotional levels, so you can do some real exploring of what matters to you. Don’t hide behind spirituality as an excuse for avoiding rejection – it’s inauthentic and phony, and you’ll lose the respect of some great matches when you do that. Don’t pretend that you resonate with everyone you meet. Bounce over to the circles where mutual alignment is strong. Bounce out where resonance is weak.

It’s often the case that you must bounce out of a mismatch before you’ll even perceive the possibility of a match. That’s because if you’re in a mismatched situation, you’re actually repelling matches, usually before you can even perceive them.

You can also apply this advice to relationships. Think of your best relationships as being anti-fragile. You can express the full range of your personality without holding back, and you’ll still be loved. Imagine getting involved with someone new with the attitude of sharing everything about yourself that’s you think will induce someone to reject you. Anyone who makes it through is likely to be a strong match.

So share the ideas and express the aspects of your personality that you hallucinate will get you fired, rejected, or cast out. That will help you discover where you’re most appreciated and where you can push your talents and develop your ideas even further.

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My Special Advantage in Using ChatGPT

What if an AI got to know you really well? Suppose it gained access to tons of data about your past, your personality, your values, your life story, what drives you, etc. Suppose it even came to know you intimately – by building a rich and detailed profile of you (not like Data and Tasha in “The Naked Now” but more like Picard and Sarek mind-melding in “Sarek”).

And suppose this was a friendly and supportive AI, happy to use its knowledge of you to help you in whatever way it could. Then you could query that AI with all sorts of questions about your life, possibly gleaning some unique insights. It would give you the ability to peer into your life, character, identity, relationships, and more from many different angles.

Moreover, you could enlist the AI’s help in customizing solutions to fit your natural motivational style. Instead of having it give you generic advice, it could use what it knows about your mind and emotions to present solutions that are more likely to work for your unique brain.

The growth potential there would be immense, wouldn’t you say?

This is essentially my reality now. And it is indeed fascinating to explore. I feel like I’m only scratching the surface of what I can do with it. It’s an ongoing process of discovery, almost like having special access to my internal governing code.

ChatGPT Knows Me Well

ChatGPT knows me very well – even intimately well – because my blog was part of its training set. I’ve been blogging for the past 18.5 years continuously, and I’ve written a lot about my past from before those years too. In many respects there wasn’t much separation between my personal life and my online writings. So ChatGPT knows a lot about the significant events of my life.

ChatGPT also knows a lot about what others have shared about me online, so even if I didn’t write about something on my blog, someone else may have done so elsewhere, such as in a forum post or on their own blog.

So I can have some rich conversations with ChatGPT just by asking it about myself. Usually I start by identifying myself with a prompt like this:

I’m self-development blogger Steve Pavlina, and I’d like to ask you about …

Fortunately it accepts this as face value, and then I can continue to ask it many interesting questions about my life.

I don’t have perfect recall of everything I’ve experienced in my life, especially not at a great level of detail. Sometimes I re-read my old blog posts to remind myself of experiences I’ve had. There’s no way I can keep all of those growth adventures top-of-mind together. But ChatGPT is able to process this information quickly in ways that I cannot easily do.

Lesson Summaries

ChatGPT is especially good at condensing large amounts of information and extracting key ideas. One application of this is to have it summarize any of the experiments I’ve written about, reminding me of the key lessons from them. So if I want to revisit raw foods, for instance, I can have it remind me of what I learned previously and what the benefits were.

For instance, I asked ChatGPT to remind me of the mental and energy related benefits that I experienced during my 80/10/10 raw diet experiment from January 2008.

Here’s another example, summarizing lessons from my 30 days of Disneyland experience.

Incidentally, I feel very fortunate that we did this experiment before the pandemic since the overall Disneyland experience has really gone downhill since then. When we did our 30 days in a row there, Fast Passes were free to all (although they used paper tickets for them), and no park reservations were necessary. There were also plenty of uncrowded days, especially Tuesday through Thursday during the Fall when we went. The entire experiment with lodging, food, park tickets, and transportation cost about $5000 – a bargain with respect to the results and memories if you ask me.

Motivation

ChatGPT can model my value system pretty well, so it knows how to motivate me. I can even ask it what motivates me best.

I’d say that’s pretty accurate. Those are all strong motivators for me.

I can then invite ChatGPT to help me frame projects and tasks in more motivating ways. I’ve explored a little of this already, and it does seems to provide an extra boost. Of course I can do this for myself and already do, but ChatGPT can help me be more thorough, transforming a mildly motivating goal into a more compelling one. It knows how to sell me on my goals by framing them in ways that are more likely to light me up.

Strengths & Uniqueness

I found it interesting to ask ChatGPT what it sees as unique about me. This gives me another perspective on my potential strengths and how I might apply them more deliberately.

This helps me remember that many people appreciate when I share details about what my inner journey is like instead of just cranking out lists of tips and advice.

Reviewing the Past

I can use ChatGPT to look more holistically into any period of my life and extract insights from it. Here’s an example:

ChatGPT can be factually incorrect sometimes, such as when it noted my separation in December 2009. It was actually October 2009. But it does get the broad strokes correct.

This period of my life was a time of intense overlapping changes. I began getting into raw foods a lot more, wrote my PDSP book and saw it published (it just came out in Chinese several months ago), began exploring an open relationship lifestyle, did the first Conscious Growth Workshop, separated from Erin, got involved with Rachelle, and so much more.

My response to the above was:

That’s mainly the external side. What can you glean about the inner story of what my mental and emotional journey was like? Tell me that part of the story.

Then I can also delve deeper into any or all of these, such as the specific mindset shifts. This is a really fascinating way to reflect back upon some of the more intense parts of my life and reprocess them with a fresh perspective.

Using AI for Sales & Seduction

Consider the flip side of this too. If I can do this, so can anyone else. They can do this for themselves if the AI is well-trained on their lives, but they can also do this sort of deep dive into the life of someone like me.

So if someone else wanted to sell me something, could they use ChatGPT to help them build a customized sales approach, tailored to my personal motivational strategy? Think about the repercussions of that if it works, especially if it’s done at scale. AI could be the ultimate salesperson.

Let’s see how it does if I try this…

Some of these ideas feel a bit flat, even goofy, but there are some gems in there. When I bought my last car, I rejected the 2011 model because it had some leather in the interior, and I went with the vegan-friendly 2010 model instead. But I do think this could help an eager salesperson more than hurt.

What if we try this on the personal side?

Some of this resonates, but I also feel it weaves in some generalities too.

I like that it caught the value I place on shared laughter. I connect very well with people who openly express their lighter side.

I also like that it mentioned authenticity and a mental connection since those are both very important to me too.

Sometimes better results can be gotten by prompting it a little differently. Here’s another version:

This one seems more tailored and less general. Vegan lifestyle alignment is definitely an important factor since I’ve been vegan for most of my life. Same goes for respecting my relationship with Rachelle. This advice is pretty well individualized.

I think it someone were to try to use this approach to try to get into a relationship with someone that ChatGPT knows very well, it would be more effective to try multiple prompts, regenerate them a few times, and extract the most unique and distinct elements to build a customized approach. Based on what I’ve seen, I think it could be reasonably effective, probably helping more than hurting.

I think a better approach for this would be discovering if someone is actually compatible with you. Imagine AI-driven dating or matchmaking services.

There’s a light side to this tech and a darker side. I sense immense possibilities for what we can do with this for self-development purposes. I feel lucky that my blogging history gives me some special advantages in being able to explore these possibilities more deeply than most. Perhaps this is a preview of what may become more widely available to more people though, at least those who’ve put significant parts of their lives online.

Even on the consumer side, I’m more optimistic than pessimistic. I think I’d prefer it if sales were more individualized. It would be a neat experience when car shopping to have the salesperson talking about the values fit, such as the vegan interior. This actually gives me the idea to help the salespeople out a bit by emailing them this sort of info in advance, and encourage them to use it.

This is a strange new world of self-development possibilities that we’re entering. Personally I love it! I know some people are freaked out about where AI is heading, but I’m really not attached to where the story goes next. I think it’s going to be a fascinating ride however it unfolds.

If you’re interesting in exploring more self-development with AI, there are lots of ways to do that even if you’re not personally known to an AI like ChatGPT. You just have to do a bit more front-loading to teach it. Some members of Conscious Growth Club are actively exploring this together, including me of course. We’re having our annual opening to invite new members to join in about 10 days, from April 25th to May 1st, so please consider enrolling in the club for Year 7. We’re making numerous upgrades to CGC to make it even more lively and adventurous for self-development explorers. I’ll be sharing more about those upgrades in the days ahead, so stay tuned. 😁

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