11 Ways Conscious Growth Club Will Expand Your Experiential Range

Conscious Growth Club is our primo online self-development club. It’s been running for 7 years now, so we’ve had plenty of time to evolve and improve it.

The new Year 8 version of CGC is especially rich, abundant, and divergent – so different and unique compared to anything I’ve seen elsewhere in the self-development world.

Instead of focusing primarily on content or coaching, in CGC we prioritize crafting and guiding you through unique growth experiences. You’ll learn more through direct experience than you will by just reading and watching videos. CGC includes a strong content library too, including all of my courses as part of the membership, but I really want to downplay that aspect as the key benefit this year because the experiential side of CGC is likely to be way more beneficial to you, especially with the many upgrades we’ve made for Year 8.

Consider the difference between researching traveling (reading about it, watching YouTube videos, talking to people about it) versus actually embarking on a real trip. Instead of studying self-development in CGC, you’ll be doing the equivalent of taking a self-development trip – in truth multiple kinds of trips spread all throughout the year.

Year 8 in CGC will be our most non-linear one – way more divergent and experiential than ever before. Gone are the regular Focus & Flourish check-in and masterminding calls from Year 7 – that was a solid format, but the intentionality behind it stemmed from a fairly linear model of self development, and the flow of each call became too predictable after a while.

Here are some of the ways CGC can help to fuel your growth with its emphasis on self-discovery through guided experiences.

1. You’ll Surf a Massive Variety of Growth Waves

CGC functions as an experiential wave generator, and you’re free to decide which waves to catch and ride. Week after week in CGC, members are invited into unique personal growth experiences, most of them fairly compact (like a one-hour Zoom call), some of them longer, like a multi-day walkthrough event. There’s a tremendous amount of newness and freshness in each of these experiences and not much predictable repetition.

Whereas a typical coaching program will usually run you through the same type of Zoom call over and over, CGC hits you with many injections of varied growth experiences. We still use Zoom for our group calls, so tech-wise that ought to be very familiar by now. But instead of just one or two formats, in CGC we have a whopping 14 unique call formats. Here’s the list of what you’ll get to experience in Year 8:

  1. Explorers’ Exchange
  2. Intention Infusion
  3. Truth Spark
  4. Good Vibrations
  5. Bear Care
  6. Spirit Spire
  7. Contribution Café
  8. Stature Sculptor
  9. Story Lab
  10. Courage Forge
  11. Pure Imagination
  12. Mystery Mixer
  13. Reflections & Revelations
  14. Alien Popcorn

If you want to see the descriptions for each call format, you’ll find them on the CGC invite page. Alien Popcorn is perhaps the most divergent, whereby we invite psychedelic energies to participate in the calls with us. If you attended the Spirit of Money or the Power of Spirit calls I hosted last Fall, then you’ve already had a glimpse of those types of energies. Was that too much for you, or would you like more of that in your life?

These calls don’t just have different names and formats – they all have different intentions, purposes, and vibes. For each call we create a different kind of energy, and we’ll guide you through different types of growth experiences. This allows you to work on self-development from many different angles, such as boosting your daily motivation, getting more attuned to your spirit self, aligning with your purpose, consciously directing the flow of your life story, upgrading your character, and more. You’ll go way behind basic yin-yang balance here.

We very much appreciate creativity and originality in CGC, so you’ll see that reflected even in the names of our calls and experiences. Would you rather attend a call named “Boundary Management,” or does “Bear Care” sound more fun to you? Would you rather take a boring and derivative course on manifesting, or would you prefer to engage in monthly group intentionality experiments with like-minded people, including picking fun intentional tracers each time and then sharing updates, results, and synchronous experiences with each other all throughout the month? Imagine doing that 12 times each year – real intentional practice with combined group energy. That’s only one small slice of what you’ll be doing in CGC each year.

CGC focuses on the doing and experiencing side of self-development, and we hit it from many different angles with a lot more range than you’re likely to see anywhere else. This is not one of those linear, step-by-step “proven” programs with a fine print disclaimer at the bottom. CGC Year 8 is very non-linear, matching how people actually grow and change. We know it’s foolish to try to promise specific results because that aspect is way too unpredictable, but we can promise to provide you with experiences, and these experiences can stimulate a lot of growth and change if you engage with them.

CGC is designed and intended for people who are mature enough to know that direct, experiential exploration is a powerful way to stimulate growth. But we must also acknowledge and accept that this growth cannot easily be predicted. The gains people make in CGC often come from surprising directions.

There’s something remarkably powerful about engaging with self-development through nonlinear exploration combined with massive variety, instead of trying to over-linearize it, control it, or force it. This approach has many benefits too, particularly in terms of flexibility. It works whether you have clear goals or not, a sense of purpose or not, a plan and schedule or not. It simply meets you where you are and works on you from within, much like a psychedelic does.

How well has trying to push yourself to advance down a straight, compartmentalized path actually worked for you? Is that actually helping you create the kind of life you truly want to experience?

What if you approached self-development with an open-minded explorer’s attitude instead? What if you invited some deeper levels of wisdom and energy – especially some fiery wisdom – to act upon you this year? What if you loosened your grip on the old linear mindset and opened yourself to creating a very different kind of relationship with life? And what if you did that with dozens of other people together – people who are also opening themselves to a new relationship with life? As you’ll soon see if you join us in CGC this year, these changes make a world of difference.

2. You’ll Get Regular Infusions of Heart & Spirit Energy

How easy is it for you to consistently make decisions that feel powerfully heart- and spirit-aligned? Are you fully engaged with your work, your living situation, your relationship partners and friends, and a powerful purpose? Does the flow of money through your life feel nicely aligned, and is it as abundant as you want it to be?

Did your prior investments in self-development help you reach the point of living as a fully self-actualized person? You know there’s so much more to keep exploring and discovering beyond this point, right?

If you’re currently falling short of this standard, worry not, my friend! There’s a community where you can infuse your life with abundant heart and spirit energy. By engaging with such energies regularly, you can keep these priorities top-of-mind and start making better decisions – i.e. decisions that prioritize long-term alignment and harmony over surface gains that eventually drag down your energy and enthusiasm.

This year our CGC theme is Fire Infusion. This represents the vibes of courage, intensity, full engagement, initiative, and boldness. Fire energy directs you to stop tolerating the misaligned and burn it to ashes. It’s a summons to make wiser and more intelligent decisions that serve your whole being harmoniously instead of forcing you to make unbalanced sacrifices. We’re inviting this energy into CGC to play a meaningful role in our unfolding story arcs this year. Do you see this kind of fire energy as playing a role in your life during the next 12 months too? You can still engage with other energies, such as peacefulness and relaxation, so the fire energy isn’t the only energy you can work with. It’s just a question of whether you want to engage with this kind of energy more directly this year. It’s an especially good energy for navigating tricky transitions, making bolder decisions, aligning with a strong purpose, creating positive ripples, and doing character-level and lifestyle upgrades.

Fire energy is inherently fearless. It can help you see what’s on the other side of fear. I can tell we’re going to collectively burn off a lot of fear energy in CGC this year. Do you sense that some fear energy is getting ready to depart this year? Haven’t we all had enough of it? Why don’t we do this together?

You can engage with CGC’s overall thematic vibe of fire infusion, or you can shift into a different mode. You’ll likely experience more oomph into your life when you allow yourself to participate in the group vibe. Then your story and the group’s story can harmonize with each other as we forge ahead together.

We also have quarterly vibes that we focus on as well, so this creates a very rich vibrational arc throughout the year. These are listed on the invite page as well.

3. You’ll Face and Upgrade Your Weak Areas

For the first 6 years of CGC, I often described it as a coaching club. Hundreds of coaching calls later, we graduated from that model to explore other possibilities. This has evolved into a training-based model for Year 8.

The calls and experiences for this CGC year are much more hands-on, so you’ll be directly doing a lot of guided inner work this year in the club.

Growth work like reading, courses, workshops, and coaching will only get you so far. Those are all reasonable ways to get started, but if you really want to advance your character and your life, sooner or later you’ll need to step into the zone of direct, experiential training.

It’s the difference between watching YouTube videos about dancing versus signing up for dance lessons and regularly going dancing. You’ll make some gains from both approaches, but there are some gains that can only be made through direct experience. The second approach is more challenging but also more powerful and effective.

One of the primary self-development benefits we can provide you with in CGC is access to potent and engaging growth experiences with other growth-oriented people. You can start having those experiences this very week if you want. Take advantage of the 7 years of effort we’ve put into building and refining that for you, not to mention 20 years of working in this field in other ways. Even my prior 10 years of experience designing and coding computer games has played a part in crafting CGC’s experiences. I love designing and guiding people through creative and varied growth explorations.

On many, if not most, of our CGC Zoom calls, you’ll be actively training through direct experience. This will surely raise your awareness of some weak areas that are holding you back. CGC is gentle and supportive, but we also focus heavily and character growth and advancement. It’s not for people who’d rather cling to their old excuses.

This Tuesday, April 30th at 11:11 AM, we’ll be having a new Courage Forge call. I’m calling this one “Center of Attention.” Do you have any fears about or resistance to being the center of attention? Great! Let’s burn off that fear and get you past it. Or do you still want to cling to it? Is that you who want to be?

Every call and experience in CGC is by your consent. You always have the option to opt in or opt out of anything you desire. See how much you’re able to take on and experience in one year. Then if you continue in the club for future years, you can keep stretching yourself to advance beyond what you’ve done in the past.

4. You’ll Replace Your Somedays & Maybes with Real Memories

Do you have some items on your “bucket list” that you still haven’t gotten around to experiencing yet? This year in CGC, we’re hosting three different bucket list walkthrough experiences, where we’ll all work on selecting, advancing, and experiencing items from our bucket lists.

It’s entirely possible – I’d say probable – that some CGCers will want to team up and have some of these experiences together. I’ve already been hearing some suggestions from people, such as going on a trip together. I can’t predict which way this will go because it’s an all-new feature we’ve added for Year 8. And since we’re running it three times during the CGC year (September, November, and then again in February 2025), we can use what we learn during each run-through to make it even better in the next year. And of course CGCers can also use the CGC forums and our 24/7 Zoom lounge to help coordinate plans, if they want to sync up their bucket list explorations. I imagine this aspect of Year 8 will be a lot of fun to experience. Rachelle and I will be actively participating as well.

I’m a self-development explorer first; a guide, trainer, and experience designer second. That prioritization is crucial for me since my active and ongoing explorations give me the experiential base for serving others. Continuing to advance my own self-development explorations keeps me feeling super jazzed and enthusiastic about my life and work, and this energy flows into the guidance, training, and experiential side of CGC. I love delving into fresh growth experiences with our members each year. I don’t sit on the sidelines and merely instruct – that approach would just kill my spirit. I need to be in the arena with you.

If you engage with and follow through on this “bucket list adventure” aspect of CGC, you’ll create some beautiful memories this year that you may otherwise never have experienced during your lifetime. Let us help you cross the threshold into the land of real experiential wonders.

5. You’ll Gain a Growth-Oriented Friendship Circle

CGC is a friendly and supportive place inside, and the extended CGC network consists of hundreds of members and still growing. Even if you join for only one year and then leave, you can still consider yourself part of this extended network. As we keep seeing, the friendships people make in CGC can really endure. We often see CGCers and former CGCers traveling together, even getting into relationships together. Recently I just heard from two former members who traveled to seven different cities in India together. How marvelous!

How would you like to explore hands-on growth and training experiences with other growth-oriented people – people that eventually become good friends of yours? Just imagine what it would be like if this was part of your normal day. This has been my reality for many years. And I will tell you that it’s a super motivating way to live.

Do you feel any bolder when you’re in the company of good friends versus when you’re alone? Most people do. When you’re immersed in a field of solid support that you can rely on, it’s normal to start reaching for bigger, bolder, more expansive goals.

Once you fill your friendship network with conscious, growth-oriented people – as opposed to NPC types (non-player characters), you’ll probably never want to go back. Just having this kind of social energy in your life can create such beautiful positive ripples.

Remember that people are energy sources too. What you experience socially isn’t neutral, and you can’t simply override the effects of your current social sphere just by trying to apply more individual intentionality. Your own intentionality field is infused with your social circle’s energy and intentionality too. Joining CGC can really help you upgrade your social field, which harmoniously strengthens and extends your individual energy field. Is the current social energy swirling through your life amplifying and extending your own energy in the directions you want it to flow?

If you aren’t vibing with the people in your life or the social media services you routinely engage with, please don’t ignore their impact. It really does matter. This is more than just social drag – you’re likely experiencing significant levels of intentionality drag as well. That can really slow you down and keep you stuck if you don’t consciously address it. If not by joining CGC, then please get yourself involved with a strong social circle that aligns with your values and desired vibes and experiences, whatever it takes. I assure you that it’s worth the effort, even if it takes decades.

6. You’ll Have a Sanctuary From Social Media Insanity

In CGC you don’t have to deal with the – let’s call it bullshit – that you’ll endure on typical social media platforms. I don’t do Facebook, X, Instagram, etc. because those platforms feel too dreadfully misaligned to me. For the most part, the people I connected with on those platforms were great, but the energy and intentionality behind those platforms was all wrong and corrupted the experience of connecting.

I felt torn leaving such platforms – at first – but I don’t think I’d have invested so much in developing CGC if I’d stuck with the old social media models. I had built up sizable audiences on some platforms, but I decided to trust my inner signals and let them go. I deleted my Twitter account in 2014, labeling it a cesspool back then. What’s it like there now? Given what I’ve heard, it makes me feel so glad I trusted my intuition 10 years ago. I really feel like life tested me by asking: Do you want to cling to the numbers while tolerating the creepy misalignments of those platforms, or do you want to trust your intuition and follow a path with more heart and spirit, not knowing where it will lead yet? I took the second option, which has worked out beautifully.

I don’t miss those old platforms and don’t need them because I’m active in CGC every day instead. My #1 everyday social network consists only of very growth-oriented people. But additionally, we get to socialize on a super clean platform of our own.

Do you feel genuinely motivated and empowered to live your best life when socializing and connecting with people in the spaces controlled by Elon Musk or Mark Zuckerberg?

Musk + Zuck = Muck

Notice the part of you that feels creeped out by those services. There’s a good reason for that. The intentionality behind those platforms isn’t aligned with your highest good. In CGC we don’t have to make that kind of compromise. We’re able to do what’s right.

Think of me as the bear guarding the entrance to CGC that keeps out the bullshit, so you don’t have to deal with it or tolerate it inside the club spaces. Most people will see a friendly teddy bear as they stroll right in. But this bear is very good at sniffing out misaligned intentions, and those with ill intent will encounter a ferocious bear guardian instead.

Trump supporters don’t get to join CGC. We have a strict “no assholes” policy too (and it’s not lost on me that this largely covers the first item as well). CGC’s annual dues are lower this year at $1111, which still ought to be enough to deflect most people who aren’t a match, and which shines as a beacon to very aligned people. This works well, but I keep ferocious bear mode on standby just in case. Honestly I haven’t needed to use it for a few years now.

Within this space, members have tons of freedom to explore whatever interests them. Having meaningful discussions with other smart people is really nice when you don’t have to tolerate any ads, affiliate promos, trolling, manipulative algorithms, hollow AI content, conspiracy theories, general outrage, clickbait, and other nonsense you have to deal with elsewhere.

Inside CGC you have tons of freedom to explore whatever aspects of self-development appeal to you, but this is also a protected space, guarded by some very conscious and alert bear energy. Those who’ve tried to attack or degrade the community inside have all been vanquished by that bear energy. Really they never stood a chance.

I’ve also seen plenty of validation that CGC is the beneficiary of a significant amount of spirit-level protection and assistance, which seems to keep growing stronger each year. I’m not entirely sure how this is all unfolding, but there’s definitely a spirit-level calling aspect to CGC’s creation and existence, especially with respect to protecting it and nurturing it.

If you pause for a moment, close your eyes, and attempt to tune in to CGC’s vibe as if it’s a conscious entity of its own, what do you sense? Are you able to feel a presence or energy form reaching out to you? And if so, does it have anything to communicate to you – verbally, emotionally, energetically, or otherwise? If you’re the kind of person who’s willing to at least try this, I encourage you to do so. I often engage with CGC’s energy through meditation or journaling, such as by asking where it wants to go next. It usually has a lot to say.

I’d even recommend asking CGC’s energy if it thinks you ought to join us this year if you’re open to receiving an answer from it.

7. You’ll Release What You Need to Stop Tolerating

My prediction is that this year in CGC, there’s going to be a lot of purging and releasing, as members who are finally ready to let go of significant misalignments take some big steps forward to do so.

What misaligned energies do you still engage with semi-regularly? What do you sense is getting ready to leave? Is it fear, worry, anxiety, stress, overwhelm, depression, shame, guilt, grief, loss, imbalance, etc?

Some misalignments can be tricky to identify. One of the trickiest patterns for many people is loyalty. Loyalty sounds good, but it creates stuckness more often than not, and it deserves a place on the list with the other misaligned energy patterns, like this … shame, guilt, loyalty…

This kind of tolerance (of the misaligned) isn’t loving or compassionate. Some decisions may have felt reasonably intelligent when you first made them, but if you’re a growth-oriented person, you’ll eventually outgrow the desire to keep experiencing the effects of those old decisions. For growth-oriented people, there are always some old decisions begging to be revisited and upgraded.

Let CGC help you go through this process, holding a space of caring invitation while you identify, thank, and release those old energies that are ready to leave you. CGC can also help you consciously choose and explore the new energies and experiences that call to you, when you’re ready to invite them in and engage with them.

8. You’ll Build a Base of Consistency and Balance

Maintaining a harmonious and balanced life can be very challenging today. How are you doing in this area so far? Are you pleased with the way you balance work, play, exploration, and rest? Is your life abundant in experiences that you savor and appreciate? Does your to-do list feel motivating, inspiring, and harmonious? Do you enjoy a steady and energizing flow of stimulating action and satisfying results? Are you engaging with the types of energies, people, and situations that uplift and fulfill you? Do you feel you’re on the right path with your life?

If you gave yourself a 1-10 score for your overall life balance, what would it be?

Is your answer pleasing to you? Do you want to maintain a similar level of balance for the next 10, 20, 30 years? Remember that you only have power to change in the present – right now.

A healthy minimum standard to reach and maintain here is an 8 out of 10. It’s definitely not the dreaded 7, which is what many people choose when the truth is really much lower. Most people fall well short of this standard though.

How would you like to create long-term balance across all important areas of your life? Training on such fundamentals is a big part of what we do in CGC, and it’s an even more significant part of Year 8 because this new CGC year, we have a special event in July specifically designed to walk you through developing, mapping out, and implementing a fresh new way to manage your time and energy while keeping everything in balance.

One counterintuitive challenge with life balance is that if you focus on balance itself, you’ll likely fail at it. It’s like riding a bicycle – you achieve balance through forward motion. If you sit on the bike without moving forward and try to balance yourself, that’s way harder and unlikely to work.

As you’ll soon discover during the July training event in CGC, there’s a better place to focus your attention if you want to create more harmony and balance. Once you learn and understand it – it’s actually quite simple – you can use it to good effect for the rest of your life.

What balancing on a bike and balancing your life have in common is that in order to balance yourself efficiently and effectively, it’s important to understand the forces at play and how to work with them instead of having them work against you. When people try to balance on a bike from a static position, the force of gravity is working against them, making it very difficult. Same goes for life balance – most people can’t properly balance their lives because they approach this in a way that leaves stronger forces working against them, so it won’t be sustainable.

As with riding a bike, the solution to life balance is technically simple, but it takes some practice to get the hang of it. So we’ll walk you through the approach and help you get started applying it too. I’m really looking forward to this because I expect it will be a lot of fun to go through this together. Living a life that feels nicely balanced is such a daily delight, especially if you’ve endured many years of imbalanced living previously.

When you ride a bike properly, how much do you think about balance? Very little most likely. You’re probably too focused on where you’re going. It’s the same with life balance. Once you have it dialed in, it becomes mostly automatic, and then you can focus more attention on where you’re going.

9. You’ll Strengthen Your Intuition and Self-Trust

A common problem that many growth-oriented people succumb to is premature convergence. You make erroneous, half-hearted decisions. You settle for misaligned paths. In the long run, even seemingly small misalignments can come back to bite you. You may even remember noticing – and probably dismissing – a subtle background sensation that tried to warn you and that didn’t want to settle for the option you chose. That part of you was already sensing that there was a better option wanting to come through, even if you weren’t aware of that option yet… or not patient enough to wait for it.

Lots of people suffer from low intuitive sensitivity these days. They make misaligned decisions, such as taking a job that’s a mismatch for them when a better option was possible, because their inner intuitive guidance is muted, suppressed, and/or under-developed.

Such people often find it difficult to fully trust themselves. They can’t properly sense and lock onto the signals of the correct path for them. Consequently, they may hesitate to make certain decisions, especially big ones. This keeps them stuck for lengthy stretches, at least until they’re ready to begin seriously developing their intuitive sensitivity.

Many people turn to psychedelics to help them advance here. Psychedelic substances can help turn down mental chatter and amplify signals of intuitive knowing. That’s the fast route, often creating breakthroughs in a matter of hours.

A much slower route is to adopt a consistent meditation practice, which can quiet the mind and make it easier to hear those subtler inner signals. This path normally takes a few decades, but it does work.

Another option that I’d put somewhere in the middle is to lighten up your diet, making it plant-based and high in raw foods. If you want to go faster, then all raw, at least for a while (like 6 months minimum). This can be noticeably effective within months, with compounding gains over the course of years. I like to think of raw foods as slow psychedelics. It has always amazed me that when eating all raw, I experience a much greater frequency of synchronicities.

Different foods have such different energy patterns. A good way to understand how different foods will affect your intuitive sensitivity is to consider the intentionality that brought those foods to your plate.

If you want to mute or downgrade the sensitivity of your intuitive senses, that’s readily achieved by eating foods with desensitizing energy patterns like animal products and processed foods. Consider the intentionality behind slaughtering animals for sustenance or making nutritionally compromised “foods.” Notice the swirl of energies infecting those foods: dominance, entitlement, profit, greed, deception, shame, sadness, fear, loss, and even murder. Notice what’s missing there too: caring, health, kindness, honesty, compassion, sustainability, etc. Also notice the difference between narrow-spectrum foods that have had many natural qualities removed versus full-spectrum whole foods. What’s the intentionality behind the shift away from whole foods in their natural states?

Consider what you’re adding to these experiences with your own intentionality too. When you prepare a meal or reach for a snack, pay attention to your intentions in the moment. That matters tremendously.

I especially love eating meals with the intention to feel energized, clean, and alert. I eat a lot of fruit, especially in the morning, because I can do it with the cleanest intentionality. It’s like eating pure sunlight. It’s the least violent because the plant can keep on living after the fruit is harvested. And yet there are still misalignments present, like the treatment of the workers in the process. It’s not 100% pure, but it’s much better than most other foods. It’s a great match for creative work too.

Moreover, these options aren’t mutually exclusive – you can combine them. Meditation and psychedelics and diet upgrades all work very synergistically together. It’s just a matter of how quickly you want to advance and how much it matters to you to develop really strong self-trust and clear intuition. This enables faster, bolder decisions, which in turn speeds up the flow of life – no need to wallow in indecision. You can just keep advancing, almost like a character running and jumping through one of the Matrix movies.

CGC, however, can provide you with yet another option, which is to directly engage with your intuitive senses and train them up. Those senses are particularly attuned to intentionality as well, so if you engage with them with the intention to increase your sensitivity and to connect with your best inner wisdom and knowingness, that can also help you advance. It won’t be as fast as with psychedelics, but it can be much faster than going the decades-long meditation route. This works even better when you combine intentional practice with meditation – and ideally with a very clean diet too.

I’ve invested a lot in increasing my intuitive sensitivity, especially in the past year, and it has served me incredibly well, allowing me to choose options I wouldn’t have otherwise spotted. Keeping these senses strong and crisp is important enough to me that I personally use all of these methods: food choices, meditation, intentional practice, and psychedelics (mainly micro- and mini-dosing). It’s all additive and synergistic.

Are you ever confused about what to do with your life? I encounter a lot of people who seem perpetually stuck in the land of “I don’t know.” I don’t have that problem. I dwell in the land of “I do know,” which is a lot more fun, engaging, and stimulating. There are still plenty of mysteries to engage with, especially regarding timing signals and coordination with others, but it’s really nice having perpetually strong clarity about one’s own path. I’m right where I want to be, going where I want to be going, and experiencing what I want to be experiencing. It’s a very joyful, heart-aligned path. I invite you to explore your own pathway into the land of “I do know” as well, so you can really get into the flow of living your best life.

It’s beautiful what even a modest amount of intuitive sensitivity can do for your life. I haven’t had a job or a boss in 32 years… not since I was 21 years old. I haven’t needed anything like that. I’ve learned how to go with the flow of my best inner knowingness over the years, which brought plenty of great opportunities to my attention and helped me get aligned with them. One example was shutting down my computer games business and getting into self-development blogging back in 2004, a decision other people in my life thought was risky or even foolish. Yet my intuition was plenty loud and clear that it was the right path for me. It clearly was – it’s been such a magical journey and still going strong. Instead of burning out on it, I feel even more excited and aligned with this path today.

CGC is my forever project – a project that will keep evolving and will never be complete. There’s no way I’d have been willing to take on a forever project if I didn’t have really good clarity and trust. As you develop and strengthen your inner senses, you’ll probably find yourself becoming less commitment-phobic. You’ll sense when a long-term commitment is truly right for you.

10. You’ll Learn the Value of Divergent Exploration

Lots and lots of divergent exploration is a big part of CGC’s flow this year.

Have you ever been through other programs that felt over-converged to you? You’re presented with a mostly linear path to follow. That can be comforting and accessible, and it’s a good place for beginners to start, but sooner or later you’ll find yourself feeling disengaged from such an experience because it will fall out of sync with where you want to go.

CGC is extremely flexible. There is no singular linear path through it. As noted previously, it’s very wave-like, experiential, and diverse. You get to decide which experiences to engage with, which helps you build more self-trust and get attuned to your inner guidance instead of leaning on someone else to dictate your flow of discovery. We’ll keep providing the experiences and inviting you into them all throughout the CGC year. You just show up when it feels aligned.

Divergent exploration has some powerful benefits. It can help you connect the dots and discover openings for advancement that you hadn’t noticed before.

Convergent experiences are easier for the mind to trust. Those are the experiences that look good on paper. It’s like watching a preview for a movie that basically shows you the story arc in advance. Then when you watch the movie, it’s rather predictable and formulaic. It’s akin to making small incremental gains in self-development. No major surprises. No big breakthroughs.

Which do you really prefer? Do you like convergent movies that follow predictable patterns, such as the typically well-done but unremarkable Netflix movies? Or do you prefer divergent movies that surprise you and take you on a wild ride?

Take the recent Dune movies, for instance. I know they were well-rated: 83% and 92% from critics via Rotten Tomatoes. I watched Parts 1 and 2. I thought they were well-made and checked all the boxes for what was expected. But I also thought they both pretty much sucked. My physical senses were semi-engaged, but my spirit was saying, “This is shit,” while throwing popcorn at the screen. Did you see those movies? How did you feel about them? Did they inspire you?

By contrast, I loved David Lynch’s version of Dune from 1984. It had many flaws, and he didn’t get final cut, which really pained him in the end. That movie has 37% on Rotten Tomatoes. But I saw sparks of real creative genius in it. I thought it was groundbreaking at the time. I didn’t fully understand it, but it made me want to read the book, which was awesome. Then I watched and rewatched the movie more times over the years, including buying it, and I found it even more incredible. There are some modern movies that I really like too, so this isn’t a question of preferring older version for the sake of them being older. I love movies that seem to keep engaging me long after I’ve seen them. David Lynch’s Dune had that effect on me. The newest remakes felt mostly forgettable.

Do you tend to prefer movies and other experiences that satisfy your expectations or that violate them? For me, and perhaps the answer for you as well, is that it depends on what kind of violation of expectations is occurring and how it impacts me. I can say that it’s disappointing on some level when an experience fully satisfies my expectations with no meaningful violations. If there are no surprises, there’s no growth, and so I’m left with a semi-hollow feeling afterwards. Usually I’d rather take the risk of being surprised because then there’s the potential for a different kind of stimulation that leads to growth.

Rachelle and I are currently rewatching Twin Peaks (a David Lynch series from the early 1990s). We’re a few episodes into season 2 now. It’s one of the most incredible, fun, and engaging shows I’ve ever seen in my life, and it’s very, very divergent. I’ve never seen anything that comes close to Twin Peaks. It’s a true original. While my mind is thinking, “This is really weird,” my spirit is saying, “This is so fucking brilliant. How was he even allowed to make this?”

This type of divergent energy is a big part of my future aspirations for CGC. I want to invite way more creativity into the club this year and beyond. It’s not linear. It’s not predictable. It will make your mind do double-takes sometimes. But your spirit will know that you’re connecting with something truly special that you’re meant to be a part of.

Some of CGC’s divergent surprises won’t do much for you. That’s to be expected. But some are going to land in ways that haunt you, inviting you to process aspects of yourself that are ready to surface.

The over-converged path is Deadsville for me. The coaching-based model we began with back in 2017 is over and done with. Year 7 was a really important transition year, but it still had some anchors to the old convergent energies. This year we’re releasing those anchors and setting sail into a year of abundant divergent exploration together.

If you prefer highly converged, linear modes of learning, then CGC is definitely not for you. If you’re feeling a bit done with that tired, old approach, I invite you to join us for a very divergent kind of year.

11. You’ll Experience the Equivalent of a Yearlong Psychedelic Trip

You don’t have to take any substances because I’ll be doing that for you, and I imagine that some other members will want to partake and help to invite those energies into the club too.

In terms of actual psychedelics, I anticipate personally weaving in at least 4 different ones this year, so that’s going to open up a lot of variety. You might even feel some of this energy already reaching out to you now. Do you feel any unusual sensations as you read this? Hehehe.

The substances serve as doorways and amplifiers, but they aren’t essential. I’ve connected enough with some of these energies that I can connect with their energies without taking any, just by thinking about them. That isn’t uncommon at all in this space.

These energies are hyper-sensitive to intentionality. There’s a BIG difference between using them for recreation and using them for Re-Creation. This year in CGC we’re inviting the latter, although there’s nothing wrong with weaving some fun and playfulness into our intentionality too.

Do you want this to be a powerful year of Re-Creation for you? Think carefully about that because it’s truly a big deal. If you join CGC this year, it won’t be like the experience of previous years because this Re-Creation energy is acting on CGC itself. I can share that it’s already affecting the club as we go through this transition week from Year 7 to Year 8. I can tell you that this is an especially wonky and disorienting time for some Year 7 members who are in the process of deciding if they want to re-up for Year 8. A bunch have already done so, and some have voiced their intention to do so, while others have opted to jump ship at this time – all perfect. And we have new members flowing in and introducing themselves in the club now too, receiving warm welcomes on the inside.

I can feel these swirling energy patterns going through this transition since it affects me too. Part of me is still linked up with the flow of Year 7 while I also feel the strong pull into the different energies of Year 8. Every weeklong transition into a new CGC year feels like a storm of shifting energies to me, which is sometimes difficult to experience. But I know this phase is temporary, and there’s always such an amazing sensation of freshness and wonder when we’re a day or two into that new CGC year. It’s like a feeling of peacefulness, relief, and excitement. I’m so looking forward to reaching that point, this time more than ever, but for now I’m still in the maelstrom of this transition.

I can also share that psychedelic energies were used extensively in designing the “trip” that is CGC Year 8, which is a key reason for so many experiential upgrades. If you join the club this year, you’ll be engaging with these kinds of energies all throughout the year, and let me tell you they can really send your life down some very different paths. These energies are also immensely loving and supportive, but they best support your truest, deepest, highest self – not the layers of self-deception that may have been layered on top of it.

I know this was a lot to read, but hopefully it gave you a lot more clarity, not just about joining or not joining CGC this year but also about your own intentions and path ahead. Whether you decide to join us or to take a different route, please receive my intention for you to have a truly beautiful and wondrous path of growth and happiness this year.

If you want to be a part of CGC Year 8, you know where to find the full invite, and here’s the direct link to the sign-up form. Be sure to decide by the end of May 1st. You’ll get into the club as soon as you join though, so if you do join now, you can get started right away, and we’ll get you into the CGC forums today. Trust yourself.

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Just Be Yourself? To Grow Faster, Do This Instead

Ever heard the advice to “just be yourself” and found it worthless? Me too!

Today’s new video shares a fresh take on how to engage with situations where you may feel like a fish out of water. I invite you to take a deeper look at your identity, self-concept, and mental and emotional flexibility. This compact video covers a lot of ground in only 9 minutes, and there are some fun surprises along the way. 😉

I encourage you to subscribe to my YouTube channel because then you’ll have a better chance of catching my newest videos when they’re released. We’re coming up on 9300 subscribers and continuing to grow. Please share your comments on the new video too.

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The Power of Spirit – Join the Event

This post is an invitation for you on multiple levels. First, there’s the human-level invitation, which you’ll get by reading the words here. I’m hosting a live event on Zoom this weekend called The Power of Spirit, and I invite you to join us for it. It will be 3 hours each day, 10:00 AM to 1:00 PM Pacific Time on October 7 and 8, 2023.

The second level of this invitation is the spirit level. I’m writing this invitation while feeling very tuned in (thanks in part to a minidose of magic mushrooms this morning). As I’m writing, I can also feel some of the energy of the upcoming event flowing through. So as you read these words and reflect on whether to attend, see if you can perceive the spirit level of this invitation coming through as well. You may feel it on an emotional or intuitive level if you’re sensitive to that. See if you notice a perceptible shift in your energy by the time you get to the end.

Intention & Purpose

Here are four primary reasons that you may want to attend the Power of Spirit event.

  1. Take a Spirit-Level Break – This weekend offers you the opportunity to take the weekend off from your human-level challenges. Elevate your perspective back to the spirit level for a while, and reflect upon your human journey with more self-compassion and understanding. Discover how and why you find yourself in your current situation, and gain clarity about what to focus on next. Afterwards you can return to the matrix of your human life with a new sense of purpose, perhaps regarding your old problems as not so daunting anymore.
  2. Make a Transition – Are you facing a potential transition such as shifting the kind of work you do, pondering leaving a relationship, changing up your social circle, moving to a new place, or adopting a different lifestyle? Devote this weekend to looking at your life from the perspective of your spirit-level purpose. Participate in the Fire and Water Ceremonies to help you release the misaligned and cleanse your human energy matrix, so you can embody your best self going forward and fully embrace the transition that’s ready to emerge. Attending this call could be your way of saying to reality, “Yes, I’m ready. It’s time.”
  3. Upgrade to a Spirit-Centric Life – Perhaps you feel called to embrace and embody a richer, fuller, more spirit-centric life while still in human form. One friend called this a “pre-ascension” phase. If you sense that this may be part of your path, I invite you to join us for the Power of Spirit, immerse yourself in spirit-level connection and practice, and see if it feels like home to you. Use this experience to gain clarity regarding how to take the next steps. I’m happy to answer your questions about what it’s like and how to keep progressing too.
  4. Immerse Yourself in Spirit Space – Initially I had only identified the three previous reasons, but this fourth one popped into my mind just now, which is that you may attend because you love being invited to immerse yourself in spirit space with like-minded, like-hearted, and like-spirited people. Join us in a space where you get to attend as the real YOU, and connect with others who want to immerse themselves in a similar kind of energy bath for the spirit. I love connecting in this way too, so I’m right there with you. 😁

Topics

Here are some of the topics we might cover during the experience. I share this list not as a promise of exactly what we’ll include, nor as an exhaustive list, but as a list of suggestive possibilities with a reasonable likelihood of coming up during the experience. On the live calls, I’ll be going with the flow of inspiration and guidance as it comes through. I’ll also have some notes for key ideas that I consider very likely to be included. I’ll share this list of some ideas that have been coming up for me lately, which I interpret as a reasonably good sign that many (but probably not all) of these topics will be woven into the experience:

  • Giving your mind what it needs to flex into spirit space, explore, experience, and discover without pre-rejecting possibilities (a very likely starting point for the first call)
  • Identifying and releasing blocks and filters that limit you
  • Using spirit-level insights and practices to generate practical human-level results
  • The role of trust when communicating with spirit
  • Connecting with the energy of your home and possessions
  • Spirit-level bonding (with people, places, possessions, your work, etc)
  • Connecting with your higher self
  • Embodying your higher self
  • Connecting and conversing with departed/deceased human-spirits, including people you knew while they were alive as well as people you didn’t personally know
  • Gaining access to spirit-level insights
  • How to upgrade your spirit-level access to connect in more varied ways, experience clearer connections, and unlock communication that you were previously blocked from accessing
  • Inviting spirit-level assistance for your human-level problems and challenges
  • Insights from the spirit side about what the afterlife is really like
  • Death and what it feels like to transition back to spirit
  • What a human-spirit experiences after death, including the adjustment process
  • How psychedelics can be used to open or enhance spirit-level connections
  • What spirit space is like according to various spirits who’ve been willing to share the details, including former humans
  • How spirits regard humans and our human lives
  • Spirit-level perspectives on why the most challenging aspects of human life exist (like war, disease, imprisonment, etc)
  • The nature of spirit time and how it differs from human time
  • What spirits can and can’t see from their end
  • Bonding with spirit-level allies and helpers
  • Building goodwill on the spirit side
  • Using spirit-level communication to heal problematic relationships, both with living and deceased people

So it’s going to be spirit-level awesome. 😉

Note that we’ll have open Q&A at the end of each call, so whether we cover a given topic during the main part of the calls or not, you’re welcome to ask about anything from the list above or any related spirit-level topics too to ensure that we address what interests you most.

Vibes

Vibe-wise I want to make this a really beautiful, engaging, lively, and welcoming experience for those who choose to attend. Let’s bring lots of warmth, compassion, connectedness, heart energy, and spirit energy to the gathering. I also want to share concepts, ideas, and insights in ways that can satisfy the mind too, so you can build useful mental models for interfacing with life and reality through the spirit level.

I think I’m uniquely well-suited to communicating across these different levels since I have a background in computer science and mathematics, including being a computer game developer for 10 years, and I was also in a previous relationship with a pro psychic medium (Erin Pavlina) for 15 years. I’ve also done a fair amount of psychedelics in the past few years (especially during the past four months) to connect more deeply with different modes of experience, including ayahuasca, magic mushrooms, and MDMA.

One of my most powerful drives is that I’m intensely curious. I love to explore and learn about life and reality through direct, hands-on experimentation. I enjoy forming and testing different mental models of how reality might work, so I can discover what new possibilities may open up. I consider it much riskier to miss out on opportunities by succumbing to limiting assumptions than to make a mistake by stretching too far. When I go too far, life knocks me back, and I accept the lesson. But I’ve often been surprised when I test for a wall and discover that the wall was just a mirage. I’m reminded of this quote that I have posted on the wall in my home office:

When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Suffice it to say that I have quite a collection of beards that I’ve yanked off over the years.

Journey

While I’ll do my best to offer you frames and mental models to help soothe and satisfy your mental side, I won’t be playing the role of spirit-level apologist on this call. I’ll get you warmed up first, and then we’ll go on a full-throttle ride through spirit space, delivered shamelessly from that perspective. I want this to be a powerful and immersive experience for those who’d find such a journey appealing.

The easy part is that no belief in any spiritual philosophy is needed. I invite you to approach these calls as from an experiential standpoint. Join us for the ride and see what it’s like. Afterwards you can analyze the heck out of it, reflect upon what it all means to you, and decide what practices and ideas you’d like to test more extensively. I’d like to show you where I think the most interesting gold can be found.

I’ll do my best to really tune in to spirit space throughout this experience. As I did during the Spirit of Money call last month, I’ll be minidosing with magic mushrooms on both days (a few hours before each call), which helps me open up and be more receptive to spirit-level inspiration and communication. I know that the shroom energy network will be open to us and very happy to assist us (just as they assisted me in writing this invitation today). I’m also going to channel some info and insights from my higher self; I’ve been very attuned to him since my first solo MDMA journey a few weeks ago. And on top of that, I’m pretty sure some helpful former humans will want to come through and share with us as well since they’ve been popping in quite a lot recently. We can even do some extra Q&A with them, and I’ll channel their responses for you. So there will be lots of different spirit-level energies coming through to be shared with you during these calls.

I also think the experience will be a lot of fun. Minidosing tends to relax my filters, which affects how I communicate. So don’t be surprised if I swear more than usual during these calls, much like I did on the Spirit of Money call. I’m not swearing at anyone; it’s just that my self-censoring is mostly switched off, so when I feel the flow of ideas more intensely, they naturally flow into more intense language. You might find that aspect amusing if you’re not used to seeing me in that mode.

I feel better prepared for this call in terms of respecting just how intense the group energy can be when connecting at this level. I had a lot of help during the Spirit of Money call to shield me from much of that energy, so I could focus on sharing the messages and guiding the flow of the experience. If I were to permit that energy to hit me full blast while I’m so open and sensitive, I’d be overcome with emotion and wouldn’t be able to talk very well. I’d be swept up in the intensity of emotional energy that some people are working through, especially when certain truths and inner realizations may hit them like a ton of bricks. Sometimes I like to let some of that energy come through in small bursts because it helps me feel more connected to what people are experiencing. I invited that to happen a few times during the last call but still not at full intensity. I don’t mind being knocked off balance by this energy sometimes, but then I need to return to being shielded, so I can stay centered in sharing what wants to come through. Otherwise I’ll just want to sit and sob with everyone who’s intensely feeling whatever they’re releasing. Just know that I respect that this type of experience can be emotionally deep, powerful, and intense for some people, and my role is to stay with the flow of what the spirit-level energies want to share with you.

I sense that this will be a very deep, rich, and meaningful experience for you if you’re open to it. On these two calls, we’re not focusing on any specific human-level transformations. The core invitation here is to elevate yourself to a level of beingness at which many different kinds of transformations become accessible, especially those involving releasing or transitioning.

Details

To have this experience together, we’ll connect on Zoom during these times:

  • Saturday October 7, 2023 – 10:00 AM to 1:00 PM+ Pacific Time
  • Sunday October 8, 2023 – 10:00 AM to 1:00 PM+ Pacific Time

The call will be done Zoom meeting style, so you’ll be able to see everyone else who shares their webcams (as opposed to webinar style). This makes the experience feel more more social, open, and connected for those who like being visually present for it. You’re welcome to attend with your webcam on or off, or switch it up as you see fit.

You’ll get the recordings of both calls too (audio and video versions, streamable and downloadable). We’ll have those published within a few days after the live calls are complete, and we’ll email you when they’re ready.

After you sign up, you’ll get the link to register for our weekend Zoom calls, and you’ll also get access to the web portal where the call recordings will be published.

I include the plus sign (+) after the end time for each day since we may go a bit beyond 1:00 PM, especially if there’s a lot of Q&A or if I feel guided to share some extra insights at the end. It’s totally fine if you need to leave earlier. Remember that everything will be recorded, so you can always watch or rewatch the recordings later.

I do think that if you’re able to stay till the end of each day, you may find that we settle into a really lovely (even cozy) energy where it just feels so relaxed and delightful to connect and share with each other. It’s like the energy of the experience helps to synchronize us so nicely and beautifully. I loved how that happened on the Spirit of Money call. I really don’t mind hanging out with everyone a bit longer if it feels aligned to keep going. Holding this kind of energy space for so many people can be challenging though, so at some point I do need to call it complete and rest. I think you’ll find the experience pretty generous time-wise though. I’m sure it will give you a LOT to reflect upon and integrate.

Both calls will involve introspective inner journeys. We’ll have open text chat for connecting with others from the community throughout the call and for commenting as we go. And please feel free to crack jokes along the way if you want since I always enjoy reading those afterwards. We’ll have some interactive experiential exercises and ceremonial aspects too. All of the social aspects are optional, so we won’t be doing any breakout rooms or anything like that. I think you’ll find the format very introvert-friendly.

Please bring your most open and receptive self to the call, not your social mask. Wear whatever feels real and true for you on the days of the calls.

Price – $88

As with the previous call, I feel like the price was chosen for me at the spirit level. This time the number 88 came through very clearly, and I intuitively knew it was supposed to be $88. I didn’t immediately grasp why until I reflected upon it afterwards.

The number 88 is two infinity signs, which seems appropriate for exploring the space of infinity infinities. It’s also considered a power number in numerology, and we’ll be working with some powerful energies together. In Ham radio 88 is used to transmit a message of “hugs” or “hugs and kisses.” And in the Back to the Future movies, 88 miles per hour is the speed that initiates time travel, which seems perfect for connecting with the timeless aspects of spirit. So $88 it is.

It’s the same price to attend live and/or for access to the recordings. While I personally feel it’s best to have the experience live if you can, I’ve heard from others who watched the previous Spirit of Money recordings after they missed the live calls, and they still found it very powerful for them. So I anticipate that the energy and connectedness of the experience will still come through very well on the recorded version.

You may also appreciate having the recordings, especially of the Fire and Water Ceremonies (described below), so you can use them to guide you through the experiences again when you feel the time is right, such as when you’re facing another big life-changing decision or transition.

Fire Ceremony (Saturday)

On Saturday as part of the experience (not during the first hour but deeper into the call), I’ll guide you through a special Fire Ceremony to invite you to burn off and release misaligned patterns from your life. We’ll be working on this at the spirit level together, including through human-level symbolic actions that I’ll invite you to take.

To prepare for this ceremony, I encourage you to bring something to Saturday’s call that symbolizes fire or heat. Here are some examples of what you might bring and/or use during the Fire Ceremony:

  • Candle(s)
  • Fireplace
  • Oil burner
  • Incense
  • Warm cozy clothes to wear, especially with warm colors like red, orange, or yellow
  • Warm snuggle blankets (also with warm colors if you have them)
  • Dragons (images, figurines, stuffed animals, etc)
  • Images or videos of fire such as an bonfire, fireplace, volcano, lava (physical or digital photos, device wallpaper, YouTube videos, etc); consider streaming a fireplace video on your TV
  • Small quantity of hot or spicy food like something with jalapeño peppers, cayenne pepper, or wasabi powder (to create a hot or burning sensation in your body or even to induce some sweating)
  • Take a small amount of niacin (aka vitamin B-3) – the flushing kind (not the non-flushing kind) to induce a niacin flush if you want to feel the sensation of burning off old energies more physically in your body – see my note on this below for more detailed tips if you want to include this
  • Hot water, coffee, or tea to drink, especially with warming spices like cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, or cloves
  • If you have colored lights in your room, set them to red, orange, fire effects, or a warm palette
  • Turn up the heat or set up a space heater to make the room feel a little warmer
  • Sit in direct sunlight (careful not to overdo it)
  • Anything that represents fire, warmth, heat, or burning to you (be sensible, not reckless)

I’ll give you plenty of time to set things up, so all you need to do in advance of the first call is to consider what you might want to have available to you, and optionally pre-gather it in your space. There will be plenty of time to gather items during the call as well, so how much advance consideration you give this is up to you.

Please do what feels intuitively right to you, and don’t do anything dangerous or risky. Create a space of warmth and fire energy in which you can feel safe and comfortable releasing old energy patterns that you’re finally ready to let go of. For some people a single candle is plenty. Others may prefer to create a more immersive environment with multiple symbols of fire energy. And some may prefer to feel the sensation more intensely in their body, such as by eating spicy foods or by doing the niacin flush described below.

Here’s my note about niacin: Niacin, also known as Vitamin B-3, is a natural substance made by the body and also found in food. In supplemental form it comes in flushing or non-flushing varieties. The flushing kind causes what’s called a niacin flush if you take enough of it. I’ve taken this most days for the past several weeks, especially with lion’s mane mushroom (not a psychedelic mushroom). Niacin temporarily increases blood flow to the skin and extremities by opening up the capillaries. It can create a burning sensation and itchiness for a while, mainly on the surface of the skin. For me it usually kicks in about 20-50 minutes after I take it, and then it feels like I have a sunburn for about 20 minutes (usually felt in my ears, neck, and face first and then progressing downward through the rest of the body). It also turns my skin reddish for a while (maybe 30 minutes). Afterwards I may feel some mild itchiness for a short time. I typically take 100mg or 150mg, which is plenty to get the flushing effect. If I want a stronger effect, I might take 200mg or 300mg. A “serving size” for the niacin supplement I have is 500mg, but I’ve never gone that high before. I put the powdered form in my own capsules with lion’s mane, but it can also be mixed into a liquid like hot water or tea. I will likely take some niacin shortly before our Fire Ceremony, so I can feel the burning effect as part of the experience and channel the sensation of fire energy more viscerally. If you want to incorporate a niacin flush into your Fire Ceremony as well, that’s your choice and your responsibility for how it goes since I’m not your doctor or health advisor. It’s very optional, and I’d say it’s probably best for people who are already familiar with it and know what to expect from it. Otherwise you can just as easily lean on my channeling that part of the experience on your behalf, so you don’t have to join me in looking like a lobster for a while. If there are others who want to do this together though, we can team up to collectively hold the burn for the benefit of everyone else.

I’ll guide us through a collective version of the Fire Ceremony, which I expect will be very powerful and perhaps a bit playful too, but each of us will be implementing the physical details in our own unique ways, doing what feels intuitively right.

In this ceremony we’re holding a collective container that invites you to create a meaningful event to mark your transition from your old reality to your new one. Please bring whatever you feel is the right level of respect and reverence with you into this space, commensurate with the value you place upon your intentions and the meaning you’d like this experience to hold for you.

Releasing misaligned energies is not easy work. Sometimes it can be intense and emotional. Sometimes old patterns don’t go quietly, even when they know their time is up. I’ve done a lot of releasing work over the past few weeks, and I’ve been surprised at just how much of a cobweb each new releasing step can be. When I pull out one misaligned thought or feeling, others often come to the surface to be released next. On the other side is usually a great deal of lightness and relief, but the path to get there can be pretty involved.

Water Ceremony (Sunday)

On Sunday we’ll be incorporating water energy for our Water Ceremony. The purpose here is to cleanse and purify your human energy matrix. This may involve the sensation of healing as well, including potentially recovering from the previous day’s releasing activities. Think of this energy as gentle and soothing, like a very nice form of self-care to conclude our journey together on a high note.

I encourage you to bring to this ceremony something that symbolizes water or cleansing. Here are some examples of what you might bring to the Water Ceremony:

  • Glass, cup, or bottle of water (to drink)
  • Bowl of water with a sponge and/or towel (for rinsing or wiping your body)
  • Electric fountain
  • Rain, storm, stream, or ocean sounds playing in the background
  • Images or videos of water such as ocean waves, a lake, a stream, or a waterfall (physical or digital photos, device wallpaper, etc)
  • Anything blue, aqua or with cool colors
  • If you have colored lights in your room, set them to blue or a cool palette
  • Wear cool-colored clothing or anything with images of water
  • Take a shower or bath before the call
  • Wet your hair
  • Use a nearby sink to rinse or wash your hands or face as part of your ceremony
  • If it’s accessible for you, you may choose to sit near a pool, aquarium, fountain, pond, lake, ocean, or any form of water
  • Natural rain (if you happen to be in a rainy place during the experience)

Create a space that feels intuitively right for you, so you can symbolically work with the energy of water to cleanse and purify your own energy. I’ll guide you through the process of creating your individual version of our collective Water Ceremony, just as with the Fire Ceremony on the previous day.

If you have a label maker or the ability to create stickers, you may want to create some positive labels to put on your water bottle such as love, peace, cleansing, purity, joy, etc. Then whenever you take a sip, you can imagine those energies flowing throughout your body and helping every cell to align with them. I recently put “pure love” labels on most of the water sources in my house (on the water pipes below each sink, the showers, the water main, etc). Even if you think the only benefit would be the placebo effect, that’s still a real and measurable effect.

Performing symbolic physical actions with spirit-level intentionality communicates a powerful message to the spirit level of life, which can powerfully shift your human-level experience as well. When partaking of these ceremonies, do your best to focus on your intentions while performing the physical actions, such that your energy, your actions, and our collective energy and actions are positively aligned.

Join Us!

Now I invite you to sign up and join us for the Power of Spirit event this weekend, which is coming up very soon. If you’d like to participate live or get access to the recordings (or both), just fill out and submit the sign-up form, and you’ll get what you need to be a part of the experience.

I anticipate that this will be a fun, lively, deep, rich, surprising, connected, beautiful, and sometimes intense experience. As we saw with the recent Spirit of Money call, there’s a solid possibility that this Power of Spirit experience could shift your life in ways you wouldn’t predict. Please do your best to show up with an attitude of openness, curiosity, and possibility, and let me and the various spirit energies take you on a fascinating ride through spirit space.

Is this for you? Trust your intuition! I hope to see you this weekend. 😁🍄

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Exploring Psychedelic Microdosing

Recently I’ve taken an interest in microdosing, specifically with magic mushrooms. I began learning about it a few months ago and then learned even more at the Psychedelic Science conference in June. I’ve also had some recent conversations with people I know who’ve been microdosing, all of them reporting positive long-term effects. Most use mushrooms for microdosing, although one prefers microdosing with LSD.

The point of microdosing is to take a very small amount of a psychedelic substance in order to access some neurological gains without any obvious psychedelic effects or impairments. Those gains can be both short-term and long-term, with some people reporting ongoing benefits even after they stop all microdosing.

Some people say that the standard is to microdose at a level where you can’t consciously discern any effects, at least not in the moment-by-moment experience as you go through your day. Others seem to want some detectable improvements like feeling a noticeable mood boost, but nothing negative that would interfere with their normal daily functioning.

Based on what researchers have been reporting, microdosing seems to yield the biggest gains for people who are depressed, anxiety-prone, or dealing with PTSD. That’s not me, so that isn’t part of my motivation for exploring it. I have, however, met and talked to people who claim to have used microdosing with positive results in reducing their depression and anxiety.

I’ve also heard anecdotal evidence of other benefits, such as with creativity and motivation. Truly there’s a long list of benefits people have reported, including a reduction in pre-menstrual symptoms.

Could this all be due to the placebo effect? Yes, as I shared from the recent PS2023 conference, that could indeed be a big part of it, especially if the doses are so small as to not create any obvious effects. The way I think about it is: The lower the dosage, the more you’re leaning on the placebo effect. The higher the dosage, the more obvious it becomes that you’re going beyond the placebo effect.

Since the placebo effect is still real and beneficial, for many people that’s a good enough reason to microdose – it activates the placebo effect, which can still be very helpful. Then you can play around with that effect, such as by setting different kinds of intentions for how you want the microdose to benefit you. Since psychedelics can have such a wide range of impacts, microdosing may grant access to an extremely flexible version of the placebo effect. It’s not just an antidepressant or a pain reliever – it could be a motivation booster, a creativity enhancer, or perhaps whatever you want it to be. At least that’s the potential promise of microdosing.

On the other hand, some people prefer to explore in the range between microdosing and minidosing. With minidosing you are inviting some mild psychedelic effects to come through, but you can still function well since you aren’t taking so much that you’re fully tripping. It may be unwise to drive or operate machinery when you’re increasing the dosage to that level, but it could be an interesting range to explore for its effects on creativity, personal insights, and decision making.

I’ve seen mixed reports from people who’ve explored in the range where some obvious effects are coming through. Some people like it and find it beneficial; they appreciate how it stretches their thinking and makes them more resourceful. Others find that it brings in some negative side effects like a reduction in focus and concentration.

I think that how we explore the range between microdosing and minidosing depends on our intentions and how the substance affects us. I could see a modest microdose being appropriate for increasing motivation to flow through a batch of routine tasks, whereas a slightly stronger dose might be better suited to a deeply introspective journaling session focused on generating novel solutions to tricky problems.

Initial Testing

I decided to start testing microdosing shortly after returning from my 3-week UK trip. I began on Wednesday last week, and I did 4 days in a row. Now I’m taking 3 days off, and then I’ll continue cycling with 4 days on, 3 days off.

All microdosing protocols include days and weeks off. The reason is that if you take magic mushrooms daily, you will quickly build a tolerance, and then you’d have to keep taking larger and larger amounts to get the same effect. So it’s unwise to take them daily, even when microdosing.

I decided to follow the protocol recommended by Paul Stamets. In the past I believe he recommended cycles of 5 days on, 2 days off. But I found a more recent recommendation from him for 4 days on, 3 days off. That fits nicely into the span of the week, so it seemed like a reasonable way to begin.

This cycle runs for 4 weeks, and then 2 weeks are taken off completely. Then repeat if desired. I’m not sure how long I’ll do this, but I’d like to go for several weeks at least if the results are promising and I’m not having any negative side effects. As far as experiments go, this one is pretty easy. It’s not like I have to not eat for several weeks in a row like I did in 2017. 😉

I began very sloppily here since I didn’t have a proper microscale for measuring such small amounts of mushrooms. So I just used a kitchen scale to measure a larger amount, and then I eyeballed it select a small nibble of shrooms that were roughly in the range of 0.1 to 0.3g (100 – 300mg). That’s the range I’ve seen recommended for microdosing, although some people prefer to go even lower, like around 50mg.

So I did the first 4 days this way – very imprecisely – just to get the ball rolling. On the first day, I crushed the dried shrooms with my fingers and make them into some tea with ginger and mint. Another day I mixed them with ground espresso and made an Americano with them. The other two days I just ate them straight.

Along the way I read that it’s best to have a microdose on an empty stomach, like 30 minutes before any food, since taking it with food can diminish the effects, so I’ll make that refinement going forward.

It’s too soon to tell if there’s much contrast between microdosing and not, but I did have some very good and productive days there, and I feel good about continuing. On Friday I had a long list of tasks that I didn’t feel particularly motivated to do – a large batch of admin items mostly. I figured I’d get through about half of them that day, but I ended up completing the entire list. The previous two days were also very productive, a bit better than average. My mind felt very calm and clear. But I wasn’t doing any creative work during those days, so I’m curious to see if there’s an effect when I write something.

I also noticed some extra happy feelings on the first two days, similar to when I eat all raw. Sometimes I sensed mild perceptual differences, as if the world looked a little more 3D than usual, like I was more aware of the depth of field in front of me. On the second day I did some intensive journaling and felt super clear about some decisions.

Today is an my second non-microdosing day in a row, and it’s going well so far. I have heard some people say that they actually feel better effects on their off days than on their active microdosing days. I’m just getting started with this, so I’ll need more time to figure that out, but my mind is feeling very good. Even if it’s just a little bit of the placebo effect, I certainly don’t mind it when I’m enjoying a nice flow of action.

I do like the overall promise of microdosing, and I sense that it could be a useful method for helping to stretch my mind a bit more in various directions, allowing me to nudge my thinking and actions down fresh pathways with greater ease and less resistance.

Some people say that microdosing brings them closer to the person they were meant to be. I can see why that may be so.

Refining the Approach

Now that I’ve gotten started, I want to refine the approach and be more precise about it, especially in terms of dialing in the dosages. I don’t know what my optimal microdosing amount will be, but I imagine that it will be in the range of 100 to 300mg.

This weekend I acquired some extra pieces to help me, including a microscale, so I can more precisely measure tiny amounts. I didn’t realize they were so inexpensive – about $15. I don’t want to recommend one since I haven’t had a chance to try it yet, but I basically went with one of the top ones listed on Amazon. I think they’re probably all pretty comparable. I don’t need precision down to 0.001g for this. I also got some vegan capsules (size 00), so I can make my own mixtures.

I intend to test the Stamets Stack, which combines magic mushrooms with Lion’s Mane and niacin. You can Google that if you want to learn more about it and what the benefits are supposed to be, but basically it’s intended to increase the neurological benefits of microdosing, helping small amounts to go further.

I think I’ll make a few capsules with 100mg, some with 200mg, and some with 300mg of powdered magic mushrooms. I’ll probably use 100mg of niacin per capsule, and then I’ll fill the rest with powdered Lion’s Mane. I should have all that ready in time for my next microdose this Wednesday, so I can begin Week 2 with more precision.

Initially I want to experiment with taking these different amounts to see what the effects are. Then I might settle into a preferred level for the long run. But I think it’s likely that I may find different doses appropriate for different kinds of experiences, so even long-term, I may not limit myself to a fixed dosage each microdosing day.

I might also make a few 500mg capsules, which gets more into minidose territory, to see what the effects are at that level. There may be some occasions where that’s a good fit, like if I want to have a deeply introspective day, and I don’t mind if some mild psychedelic effects are coming through as well. I work from home most days, so I don’t need to worry about commuting, business meetings, and other Golgafrinchan activities. I’d prefer not to feel semi-trippy during Zoom calls though, although that would likely be fine if it happened during one of the Mystery Mixer calls we do in Conscious Growth Club (since that format is meant to be fully co-creative).

I’m happy to share more updates about this as I continue to explore. In the meantime if you’re curious about it, it’s easy to find articles, stories, and videos of people sharing their microdosing results and experiences online.

I wonder if readers will notice any differences in my writing in the weeks ahead. This is the first post I’ve written while exploring microdosing (although on one of the off days). I’ll be sure to try writing some posts on active microdosing days as well.

Readers’ Reactions to My Psychedelic Writings

You may be curious to know how people have been reacting to my recent writings about exploring psychedelics this year. Technically I already wrote about exploring ayahuasca back in 2019 and another psychedelic experience in 2022, so this isn’t the first year I’ve written about such topics. But I am writing more about it this year because I’m exploring more.

I’ve actually received zero criticism about this topic. Nothing. Not a single critical comment.

Maybe I’ve conditioned my audience not to bother, but I don’t think it’s that. When doing research on this and looking at the comments, like on YouTube, they tend to be overwhelmingly noncritical too. What I’ve seen elsewhere aligns with the same kind of feedback I’ve been receiving personally.

I have received a lot of non-critical feedback on this – definitely not crickets – and it’s almost all from people sharing about their own experiences with psychedelics, however abundant or limited. Many people shared tips and advice, such as for reducing nausea when taking mushrooms. There’s been some of back-and-forth conversation with people on this too. I very much appreciate and enjoy this type of feedback. It’s intelligent, helpful, and clearly well-intentioned.

It’s clear that many people are curious about this, and it feels purposeful to explore this and to share about the journey. Sometimes I may not be able to share all of the details, but I promise to be honest in what I’m able to share. I know that as I’ve been looking into this, I really appreciated hearing people’s honest reports about their experiences. This is a complex space, and honesty is so crucial here.

My heart also goes out to people who really need viable alternatives to endless pharmaceuticals, where the intentionality behind the drugs isn’t aligned with people’s long-term health and well-being. Many people are finding renewed hope in emerging psychedelic therapies, especially in overcoming depression, anxiety, and addiction.

What I like about psychedelics is that they provide such a flexible canvas for exploring self-development. It’s not really the substances that appeal to me. I’m interested in the gateway they offer to a world of greater conscious intentionality. I regard psychedelics as intentionality amplifiers.

Psychedelics can be extremely humbling and also empowering. They can show us the results and consequences of our past intentionality, and they can give us glimpses of what we could experience by shifting our intentionality in new directions. One of my goals is to continue cultivating a deeply trusting relationship with intentional psychedelic exploration, as an extension of cultivating deep trust in life. Microdosing seems like an excellent way to build a stronger baseline level of trust.

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Consciously Exploring Your Relationship with Drugs

Humanity has a complex, long-term relationship with a wide variety of drugs. In this article let’s delve into your personal relationship with drugs, how you frame them, and how you might upgrade these relationships to be more conscious and aligned with your path of self-development. Let’s include common drug sources like coffee, tea, and chocolate too, so this will be very inclusive.

My purpose here isn’t to encourage or discourage you from using any particular substances but rather to invite you to take a more conscious and honest look at your current frames, attitudes, biases, and behaviors, and determine if you want to make any improvements there.

This isn’t as simple as it may initially appear. You have many options for these relationships, much more nuanced than good/bad or right/wrong. If you’d appreciate a more mature exploration of this topic, you’ve come to the right place.

Language

A key aspect of our relationship with drugs is how we communicate about them, both to ourselves and to others.

Notice how different labels can change how you feel about a drug:

  • Caffeine
  • Coffee
  • Green coffee
  • Organic coffee
  • Pour-over
  • Cold brew coffee
  • Small batch roasted coffee
  • Artisan coffee
  • Sumatra
  • French roast
  • Cuppa
  • Tea
  • Green tea
  • White tea
  • Coke
  • Pepsi
  • Cola
  • Energy drink
  • Red Bull
  • 5-Hour Energy
  • Latte
  • Espresso
  • Cappuccino
  • Starbucks
  • Decaf (still contains some caffeine)
  • Chocolate
  • Dark chocolate
  • Hot chocolate
  • Milk chocolate
  • Chocolate milk
  • Cocoa
  • Cacao
  • Cacao nibs
  • Chocolate sprinkles
  • Chocolate cake
  • Chocolate ice cream
  • Hershey’s Kiss
  • Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
  • Gourmet Chocolate
  • Chocolate Liquor

We could go on with hundreds more, right?

These labels all offer different ways of framing relationships with common stimulants. Mixing a stimulant with other substances like sugar or associating it with experiences like holidays can add complexity to that relationship too.

This variety offers people more inroads to the same type of drug. People may object to many of these pathways, but the drug only needs one acceptable opening to get into your body. You can reject coffee, tea, caffeinated sodas, and so on, but if you’re okay with dark chocolate, then you’re entering into a relationship with a drug, potentially for the rest of your life.

I’m starting with one of the most common drug relationships here so you can begin to grasp the complexity of these relationships and how easy it is for drugs to become a seemingly natural part of our lives these days, so much that we don’t even see it.

Notice how you get a different vibe and cultivate a different relationship with certain substances based on how you label them.

Consider labels like cannabis, marijuana, Mary Jane, pot, weed, etc? Does it make a difference if you see on someone’s dating profile “420 friendly” versus “pothead”?

Do you prefer MDMA, ecstasy, XTC, molly, love drug, Scooby Snacks, or some other name?

Would you rather do an LSD trip or drop acid? It’s the same substance either way, but your verbal framing can change how you relate to it.

Different people prefer different associations. I encourage you to think about how you want to frame these relationships, and consider how your preferences are affecting your behavior. How would it be different if you changed up your labels, such as by referring to your latte as stims instead?

What if Starbucks had an arguably more objective and accurate name like Daydrugs? How might that impact the relationship that people cultivate with it?

Socially Conditioned Drug Relationships

We all grow up learning certain default frames for drugs, and many people essentially stick with those inherited frames for the rest of their lives, never challenging them much.

My parents both consumed coffee daily and only had alcohol (mainly wine) very sparingly like at holidays. I never saw either of them drunk. They never smoked. My siblings and I had relatively easy access to caffeinated sodas, chocolate (including chocolate milk at school), and lots of items containing sugar. Some drugs were framed as normal and fine, others only for adults and only for special occasions, and others off limits entirely. But most of the time the drug label wasn’t applied to the socially acceptable drugs; it will usually just applied to the off-limit substances. And pharmaceutical drugs were typically referred to as medicine.

In my religious upbringing, I learned that Jesus was very non-judgmental about alcohol and even encouraged people to drink wine. Many churches served a sip of wine during mass, including to children. In that context it was socially acceptable.

As a child I also noticed that if I pointed out the confusing nature of these associations to adults or strayed from the socially conditioned framing, such as by referring to coffee as drugs or to a daily coffee drinker as an addict, I’d get some negative pushback. Some people would even vehemently defend their preferred frames. I quickly learned that adults often resisted alternative frames. I found it refreshing when a coffee drinker or chocolate lover would openly admit to being a stimulant addict, shamelessly owning it instead of hiding behind labels that allowed more room for denial. It was interesting that some people shamed any kind of addiction labeling while others simply embraced it as honest.

I also grew up during a time when the War on Drugs loomed large. I remember hearing Nancy Reagan’s “Just say no” campaign being blasted at us. Consequently, I gained an early negative association to the word drug, and I’ve noticed that I still dislike applying that label to certain types of substances where I want to explore a different kind of relationship, such as psychedelics. In fact, I feel better labeling coffee and chocolate as drugs than magic mushrooms, ayahuasca, or LSD. This doesn’t seem to be due to my personal experience (I’ve done mushrooms and aya but not LSD) but rather due to educating myself a lot more and developing a better understanding of the benefits and risks of certain substances.

The War on Drugs lumped psychedelics into the same category as cocaine and heroine, as if LSD and PCP were basically equivalent roads to hell. Meanwhile alcohol and smoking remained legal and socially okay despite how dangerous and addictive they were for so many people.

Mushrooms and LSD are not physiologically addictive. If you tried to consume magic mushrooms (or psilocybin) every day, you’d build a tolerance really quickly, and soon you’d have to be eating a ridiculous quantity to get the same effect. Even to microdose effectively, people need to take frequent days off (such as 4 days on, 2 days off) in order to avoid rapidly building a high tolerance.

I still get a weird internal reaction when I hear someone refer to magic mushrooms, psilocybin, LSD, or ayahuasca as drugs. That label is technically correct, but to me it carries a stigma that these substances don’t deserve. Consequently, I prefer labels like psychedelics, psychoactive substances, or transformational chemistry. These labels help me develop a more rational relationship instead of driving me back into the emotional and irrational framing that was conditioned into me during childhood.

The invitation here is to carefully reflect upon the socially conditioned aspects of your relationships with drugs. Look for bias in those relationships, and consciously challenge those biases to cultivate more honest, truth-aligned, and personally meaningful relationships. This may include changing the labels you apply to these relationships, so you can graduate from the old conditioned judgments that may not serve your highest good.

Intelligence

Take a conscious look at your prior conditioning and see if it’s aligned with accessing your best intelligence regarding how you now relate to certain substances. Did you inherit emotionally loaded frames like I did? If so, it might be wise to upgrade your framing, so you can fully engage your rational mind and not have it suppressed or derailed.

You may also choose to keep some of your older frames if you feel they serve you well. I grew up with a negative association to smoking, and to this day I’ve never smoked a cigarette or cigar. Not one puff. I still have no interest in doing so. I associate smoking with cancer, black lungs, cutting seven years off my lifespan, coughing, lower IQ, being socially stigmatized, repulsive odors, wasting money, being a bad influence on others, a nasty addiction, etc. I really don’t see any upside to smoking that could overcome all those negatives. Consequently, I’m okay with keeping these associations intact, till I see a rational reason to upgrade them. For now I feel that these associations protect me and keep me safer, helping me avoid a well-marked danger zone.

On the flip side, as I’ve been educating myself about psychedelics, I learned that my old associations were just dead wrong. I had highly irrational notions about certain substances and demonized them for much of my life. What helped me start opening my mind was when friends who had used substances such as ayahuasca, mushrooms, DMT, MDMA, and LSD told me their stories, and their reports didn’t mesh with my prior conditioning. That made me curious to start looking for facts, details, and more personal accounts, and that extra digging helped me upgrade my old thinking to be more rational and reality-based, as opposed to irrational and fear-based.

I think a sensible intention is to develop a rational and intelligent relationship with drugs. This means graduating from your childhood conditioning and shedding false notions. Simply seek to learn the truth. That’s a simple intention but a powerful one.

Exploration

Another pathway to upgrade your understanding of certain substances is to give yourself room to explore and experiment. The outside perspective looking in is always different from the inside perspective. There’s just no substitute for direct experience.

That said, I also think it’s wise to do your homework first, and look for promising avenues to explore instead of exploring willy nilly.

I don’t want to explore smoking because I see no promise there. How many people have shared amazing stories of smoking and encouraged me to try it? Zero. How many promising studies have encouraged me to try it? Zero. So that’s the shittiest invitation ever. Instant reject.

With other substances I’ve seen much more promising possibilities. That’s true of coffee, chocolate, ayahuasca, LSD, mushrooms (psilocybin), San Pedro, MDMA, DMT, and several others. There’s no compelling reason to explore the apparent duds when there are much better offers on the table. With psychedelics there’s a new gold rush happening, and it seems well-founded as people really do appear to be finding lots of proverbial gold there.

Just as you can flex with your preferred labels, you may also discover some flexibility in the windows that feel open to you for exploration. For instance, it may feel very different if a trusted friend offers you a puff of a joint at a party versus going out and buying one yourself. So pay attention to accessibility because it’s easier to explore the substances that are more accessible for you.

I used tobacco once during a rapé ceremony at an ayahuasca retreat. A shaman used a pipe to blow it up my nose. And wow was that intense! It felt like my brain was injected with Sriracha for a few minutes. It was also fun and accessible to do it with a group of friends and see everyone rolling on the floor howling afterwards – an odd sort of bonding experience. Even though I retain major negative associations to smoking cigarettes, I still had the opening to engage with tobacco in a narrow ceremonial and social context, and I have no regrets about that. I don’t feel any significant desire to repeat the experience, but I’m glad I took advantage of the opening that presented itself to do that particular exploration.

My first psychedelic experience also presented itself as an open window that I could accept. It was at an ayahuasca retreat center in Costa Rica in 2019. If I accepted the invite, I’d be going with a group of about a dozen friends, and Rachelle would be going too. I didn’t feel any peer pressure to go, but I did see it as a nice opportunity to have an experience in a fun and social way. I liked that I’d be able to go through the integration process with smart, growth-oriented people I knew, and it seemed like it would be a unique bonding experience. It was all of that and more, so I’m really glad I went.

You may think that exploration is risky, and yes there is some risk there. But also consider the risk of not exploring. Missing out on a powerful transformational opportunity can be just as much of a mistake as trying something and having a bad experience. Be careful not to overweight errors of commission because errors of omission can be just as bad or even worse. Imagine missing the chance to permanently upgrade your thinking, emotional baseline, understanding of reality, and so on – that’s a serious risk too.

We humans have a known bias towards irrational levels of loss aversion – i.e. not making advantageous bets when the odds are clearly in our favor because we’re too afraid of losing. It’s important to recognize this and consciously compensate for this bias by giving due consideration to the potential upsides. I do this by adding a bit more weight to exploration and curiosity, which has been working very well for me, particularly when it comes to exploring psychedelics. I like to play it safe while also giving myself reasonable opportunities for significant wins and breakthroughs.

Abstinence

Another option is to choose to abstain from drugs. You can do this on a case-by-case basis, or you can try to universally abstain. If you do the latter, you’ll need to avoid all coffee, caffeinated tea, chocolate, sugar, alcohol, pharmaceuticals, and more. If you want to be ultra-pure, you ought to abstain from tap water too in many areas since it’s contaminated with small amounts of many drugs.

I was fairly purist in abstaining from most drugs, including caffeine and alcohol, for many years of my life, especially during my 20s. Some years I avoided all pharmaceuticals too. I liked the feeling of being super clean. I also went vegetarian and then vegan during those years. I trained in martial arts and ran a marathon too, so this abstinent relationship with drugs meshed well with my overall lifestyle.

My framing back then was very physical. I wanted my body to be as clean as possible. I thought any sort of drugs would degrade my mental and emotional performance, so I felt it best to avoid them.

I think this is a viable option. It can be difficult in some situations, but it’s not impossible. Many people have abstinent relationships with one or more substances and seem very aligned with those relationships.

Moderation

Another option for relating to drugs is to use them in moderation, like an experiential accent to your life. Allow yourself the flexibility for some occasional usage when you think the benefits are worth the risks, and do your best to minimize the potential harm to yourself and others.

In the long run, I found the abstinence approach limiting because it prevented having certain experiences that I might otherwise find worthwhile. So I gradually opened up more to find a different calibration point. I liked having the flexibility to explore now and then. I didn’t find that too great of a sacrifice.

One way to make these decisions is to check in with your anticipated feelings of regret. Are you more likely to regret having an experience or not having it? Make the decision you think will lead to the least regret.

Another option is to go where you think the appreciation will be the greatest. This is my preferred method. I like to ask: On balance will I experience more appreciation from having this experience or from avoiding the experience? That helps me make choices I appreciate (obviously).

Sometimes I have coffee, chocolate, or alcohol, but I will also go months at a stretch without them. I particularly enjoy exploring different kinds of wine with Rachelle now and then, especially after we did a Napa Valley wine tasting trip together many years ago. It’s an occasional indulgence that I enjoy and appreciate, as long as I don’t do it too often.

We like to pour 2.5-ounce glasses (half of a regular glass) of wine, and sometimes that’s all we’ll have in an evening. If we want more, we’ll pour another 2.5-ounce serving. If we order wine or some other alcoholic drink at a restaurant (we usually don’t), we will often split one drink between us. We don’t need many sips to have an experience we’ll appreciate.

In a few weeks when we’re in Scotland, we’ll visit a Scotch distillery as one of many tourist activities, and of course we’re going to try the Scotch. For most of my life I hated Scotch, but I opted to try more varieties of it a few years ago and found some that I like. My current favorite is Speyside Scotch. I don’t like having a lot of it, but just a half-ounce now and then can really enliven my taste buds in an interesting way. Again it’s one of those accents that I appreciate.

Moderation doesn’t work well for everyone though, and it may work better for some substances than others. There are different ways of doing it too.

It’s easy for me to be moderate with alcohol because I don’t find it addictive. My body doesn’t crave it. In fact, when I have some, I can often tell my body would rather avoid it for a while afterwards. I can’t ever see myself falling into the pattern of drinking every day or even every week or month. Rachelle is much the same. We can have alcohol in the house and not feel inclined to touch it for many weeks in a row. But I know others for whom this isn’t an option. If they have alcohol in their house, they’ll consume it daily till it’s all gone.

With coffee, however, I can’t have this same kind of relationship because caffeine is very addictive for me. If I have it once, pretty soon I’m having it every day, usually twice a day. I have gotten better at this, but generally the best I can do if I want to experience coffee is to cycle with it, where I will have it daily for some months of the year, and then I’ll go through the weeklong detox process and have some months of total abstention. When I’m coffee-free, I usually need to be chocolate-free too because chocolate is my gateway drug back to coffee. Same goes with white tea, green tea, etc. Any stimulants, even mild ones, will eventually hurl me back into coffee’s welcoming embrace.

For now I actually like having this on-again, off-again relationship with coffee. I notice that when I’m drinking coffee, my thinking is usually narrower in focus and more linear, like I’m going through a sort of tunnel mentally. Sometimes that’s helpful, like when I want to advance in a pretty clear direction.

When I’m not consuming coffee, my thinking opens up more. My perspective widens. I’m able to see the big picture more clearly. That’s really good for making fresh high-level decisions and balancing many different possibilities. So this relationship with coffee is like shifting between yin and yang modes for me. I like both but at different times of year. It took many years to figure out this balance.

I notice that the balance regulates itself pretty well too just by listening to my inner signals. If I consume caffeine for too many months in a row, my thinking starts becoming a bit chaotic, and I find it harder to focus. I also notice a build-up of joint pain, like while running, as if I’m becoming slightly arthritic. That all goes away within a week after I stop having coffee.

Then after some caffeine-free time, I eventually begin feeling that it would be nice to start having some again. Sometimes that’s an external event like a retreat where I know people will be drinking coffee, or maybe it’s a trip where I know Rachelle will want to visit some nice cafes, and I want to share in that experience with her. This cycling approach lets me appreciate having coffee and also not having coffee.

By contrast many other people I know, including Rachelle, are able to have coffee daily for years with apparently no negative side effects. I seem to be able to do that when I eat all raw or mostly raw. Then I don’t experience the build-up of negative side effects. It could be that the raw foods help to counteract the long-term effects of the coffee in ways that cooked foods don’t.

Pay attention to how your body, mind, and emotions react, especially when taking substances frequently. See if you can adopt an approach that maximizes your long-term appreciation, which may be very different from what you’ve been taught or what you’ve seen other people doing.

I feel that I got stuck for many years by trying to blindly following patterns I learned from others instead of paying more attention to my own inner responses and what they were teaching me about myself. I feel that my own body and mind give me the best advice, but only when I can listen to them directly and open-mindedly, without filtering through preconceived notions and irrational biases.

Trust

This leads into the next type of relationship, which is trust.

One perspective I use today is that all drugs are energy patterns. Each drug is like a software program that interfaces with our personal energy matrices. These encodings are actually purposeful and meant to serve us in some way. I find it wise to trust those encodings. I even see it as being purposeful when people go through phases of addiction, like it’s something their spirit or energy needs to experience for a while. Remember that all drug addictions are temporary.

This doesn’t mean trusting that a drug will always behave as you desire or that there will be no negative consequences. It’s more about trusting the drug to play the role it’s meant to play while also bending its behavior with some intentionality.

Start by trusting that alcohol will behave like alcohol. Trust that psilocybin will behave like psilocybin. But within the range of possibilities for each drug that you’re open to exploring, also invite yourself to develop a trust-based relationship with the substance.

This is much like trusting human beings to behave like human beings actually behave, which is a deeper and more mature level of trust than the immature form that invites trust wounds. The immature form of trust is hoping that people will behave as you want or expect them to.

It’s very difficult for a drug to betray you if you adopt the mature form of trust and let go of the immature form. It’s important for you to assume the responsibility for your role in this relationship too, knowing that you have agency to make intelligent decisions based on a drug’s actual range of possibilities. This includes being more open-minded when you’re not sure about a drug’s likely effects.

Trust is especially powerful and important when using psychedelics. There’s such a wide range of possibilities that it would be foolish to blame the drug for not behaving the way you want it to behave. You’re less likely to be disappointed if you trust psychedelics to behave like psychedelics, which includes allowing plenty of room for surprise.

I found this to be a particular useful frame that gives me enough room to explore and to keep having more growth experiences. I trust that each drug will yield an experience within its range of possible effects, and then I set intentions that align with this range. Alcohol can align with the intention to be more playful and less inhibited. Magic mushrooms could mesh well with the intention to have a deep inner transformational journey. Caffeine might be a good fit for crafting a detailed and thorough article.

Curiosity and Dabbling

Some people explore various drugs to satisfy their curiosity. They may continue to dabble for curiosity’s sake, or they may feel satisfied after a single experience.

Many people have taken a particular drug, such as LSD, one time in their entire lives, and they felt that was enough for them. They satisfied their curiosity and never wanted to repeat the experience.

My relationship with marijuana has been a bit like this. I think I’ve done it six times total, always while traveling. I’ve actually never done it in Las Vegas where I live, even though it’s been legalized here and there are plenty of dispensaries where it’s easily accessible.

I feel like my curiosity about marijuana has been mostly satisfied. It makes me a bit giddy, but otherwise I don’t find the effects very impressive or interesting. I feel like it might be more useful to me if I had depression or anxiety. It’s hard for me to find a good use case for it.

I’m a little bit curious to try vegan gummies at some point, but otherwise I’m way more curious about psychedelic substances like mushrooms, LSD, MDMA, DMT, San Pedro, and a few others. Marijuana seems rather boring by comparison. I actually find caffeine more interesting.

That said, I’m still open to using it very occasionally, like if friends are having it at a party, I might enjoy joining them in the experience. I wouldn’t feel any pressure to do so though.

Curiosity-driven dabbling is a perfectly valid relationship to have with a substance. Don’t feel that you need to press beyond that if a substance doesn’t seem to be offering a worthwhile package of benefits.

Social Use

That leads to another aspect of our relationship with drugs, which is the social side. This is how many people end up trying various drugs in the first place – their peers introduce them to it.

Many people don’t have much of a relationship with certain drugs at all except when they connect to drugs through other people. Some drugs (such as MDMA) affect socialization too, so the experiences can be better when shared with other people.

Consider whether you also want to explore solo experiences at some point and with which substances. That’s an option, and it can be a very different kind of experience.

For many people, it’s not a big deal to drink coffee, eat chocolate, or smoke while alone. But they might frown upon drinking alcohol alone or doing MDMA alone. Notice that you may have different solo and social relationships with the same substances.

Another factor is that the experience can be very different depending on the people you’re with. In some cases this can be even more important than the specific substance and even the dosage.

I feel very comfortable having Rachelle as my sitter for psychedelic explorations because she’s very good at keeping her vibe up, even when I’m having a rough ride. I wouldn’t want to have such experiences with people whose energy, emotions, or behavior might pull me in an undesirable direction like anxiety, stress, worry, frustration, etc. That could too easily lead to a hellishly bad trip. I feel fortunate that my first four psychedelic journeys (ayahuasca) were with positive, growth-oriented friends.

In some ways the safety can be greater during a social experience since there may be other people looking out for you. However, other people can also be a source of risk, whether accidental or deliberate, especially if they’re taking substances too.

I advise you to also consider the supreme importance of an aligned social circle even when you’re substance-free. Consider that a psychedelic trip often amplifies energies that are already present. If you wouldn’t feel safe doing a trip with certain people who are regularly present in your life right now (online or offline), do they even belong in your life at all?

This is an interesting criteria for raising your social standards. For each person in your life, ask: Would I ever want to trip with this person? If the answer is no, consider switching to an abstinent relationship with that person altogether. Free up your energy to attract the right Guild members for you.

Self-Development, Growth, and Transformation

This is my favorite type of relationship to explore with drugs, particularly psychedelics, which show incredible promise when consciously used as tools of personal transformation.

I even think that many other drugs can be used for personal growth, including caffeine and alcohol, when this level of intentionality is brought to the experience, combined with the mature form of trust that I mentioned earlier in the Trust section.

Here are some interesting intentions to consider when using drugs for conscious growth:

  • Show me the next steps on my life path.
  • Teach me what I need to know.
  • Show me how reality really works.
  • Teach me something about reality that I didn’t know.
  • Help me release / overcome / forgive ____.
  • Heal my heart.
  • Show me who I’m meant to be.
  • Let me speak with my higher self.
  • Bathe me in love and oneness.
  • Wake me up.
  • Ignite my soul.
  • Help me develop a trusting relationship with life.
  • Help me let go of fear, anxiety, depression, shame, guilt, regret, etc.
  • Help me transform my relationship with a painful or difficult memory.
  • Tell me about my life purpose.
  • Help me overcome my fear of death.
  • Show me the multiverse, non-physical reality, other dimensions, etc.
  • I invite a love-aligned, non-physical entity to come speak with me.
  • I invite a deceased friend or relative to come speak with me.
  • Open my third eye.
  • Inspire me creatively.
  • Connect me with my muse.
  • Show me the solution to ____.
  • Surprise me. I trust you.

It may take some exploration to determine which intentions give you the most transformational experiences. This is one aspect of psychedelic exploration that I’m super curious about. There are so many different kinds of intentions to explore, and they really do seem to have powerful effects.

I suggest that you don’t blindly follow other people’s advice even if they seem certain about the best intentions to set. I did that with my first ayahuasca experience and found the recommended intentions, such as “Heal my heart,” to not be the best ones for me. Especially beware of presumptuous intentions like that one – Does everyone’s heart really need healing? Assuming that yours needs healing may invite an experience to validate that perspective, but you might have a more worthwhile experience with a very different intention. The “heal my heart” intention took me deep into intense emotional space with lots of crying, but in retrospect I can’t say that it was particularly transformational. I feel like the substance basically put on a show for me because I asked it to. I think I gained more transformational value by inviting ayahuasca’s wisdom to gently dialogue with me on the subsequent ceremony nights.

You can also try single-word intentions. I find those easier to remember when I’m going through the experience. Last time I even wrote them down on paper, so I could physically read them as I was beginning the trip. I used only four words for my intention: deep, gentle, loving, light. That was plenty for a very deep, nine-hour mushroom trip.

Activation and Suppression

Another reason people take drugs is to activate or suppress some aspect of their biology, like turning a volume dial. Many people use caffeine to amp up their alertness, alcohol to help them feel more social and less inhibited, and other drugs to suppress anxiety, depression, or pain.

One aspect to consider here is whether this relationship is serving you. How do you feel about using drugs for this purpose? Are you taking any now for that purpose, and if so, does that relationship feel aligned to you?

This type of relationship with drugs can often be tricky to maintain, especially if the drugs have potential negative side effects. Many women, for instance, have such a relationship with birth control pills, doing their best to balance the risks versus rewards. Because it’s not a perfect solution, this can be an uneasy relationship that retains some tension and doubt even after a decision is made.

This is still a valid way to relate to certain drugs, especially those designed for that purpose. Just be wary of potential side effects and long-term dependency or addiction risks. Be sure to keep checking in with yourself, your body, your thoughts, and your feelings to assess if the relationship is working for you. Be ready to acknowledge when your assessment has changed because many people do eventually experience a change of mind or heart about these relationships. Pay attention to your inner truth, and do your best to honor it.

Curing

One reason many people are turning to psychedelics is that it can enable them to stop taking pharmaceuticals long-term for activation or suppression. They finally cure the underlying condition and reach a new balancing point, solving the activation or suppression issue once and for all.

Psychedelics in particular are offering many people profound transformations as they’re being studied by researchers, scientists, doctors, and therapists. People are reporting overcoming depression, anxiety, PTSD, and various addictions with just one dose. I’ve personally met people who’ve claimed to have had such transformations, both with high doses taken 1-2 times or with long-term microdosing.

With microdosing there’s some variability too, with some people finding that a sufficient duration of microdosing seems to cure or diminish their underlying condition well enough that they can stop microdosing and still retain the lasting benefits, and other people finding that if they stop microdosing, their symptoms soon return. In the latter case, people often prefer long-term microdosing to long-term pharmaceutical use, feeling that it’s safer and healthier for them.

As I shared in my Psychedelic Science 2023 conference review, there’s a lot of promising research unfolding in this area.

This is another situation where it’s important to make a rational and informed decision, and especially watch out for any irrational bias towards loss aversion that could cause you to miss out on something that could be life-changing. The chance to permanently cure or significantly improve a long-term condition like depression, anxiety, PTSD, or addiction is a pretty huge win for some people, especially when steps are taken to minimize the downside risks. Weigh this against the risk of having that same condition for the rest of your life or even seeing it worsen over time.

Creativity

Countless books, movies, and works of art were inspired or assisted by various drugs. One reason is that many drugs help people stretch beyond their default mode of thinking and offer fresh perspectives.

This is an interesting way to open up the flow of creativity and potentially put out more creative work.

I’ve been making a living from my creative work for decades and haven’t had a job in 30+ years, so I don’t feel like I need substances to help me in this area. But I am super curious to see what fresh creative work I might produce with the perspective shifts that psychedelics can open up.

I also notice some extra motivation to write and share more after my recent mushroom trips (three in the last few weeks).

I’ve got a three-week trip to the UK coming up soon, and when I return I’d love to dive into the Engage course that I began working on earlier this year. I’d also like to do some additional psychedelic journeys while developing it. It’s my sixth major course, so I’m up for having a more expansive kind of experience this time. I don’t feel I need psychedelics to create more, but I am curious to see how I might create differently by taking one or more substances along the way.

I also want to write more articles inspired by various insights that came through as a result of processing and integrating psychedelic experiences, not just direct reports about the experiences themselves. The flow of fresh ideas is actually getting to be a bit much this week – way faster than I can actually write them up and publish them.

How do you feel about using drugs for this purpose?

I don’t like the idea of becoming dependent upon drugs for creativity, and I’m glad that was never an issue for me, but I do find it fascinating to see what more we humans can create with drugs as part of the process. I’m glad that many people have been exploring that because I think it really adds value to our lives. So this is an area where I’m very open-minded about doing more personal experimentation.

I also like that this can make the experience of creativity more divergent and adventurous for me, especially after so many years of doing creative work. It keeps my creative future from becoming too tame and predictable.

Pleasure and Recreation

Drugs are commonly used for pleasure, recreation, and entertainment of course, which can be a mixed blessing. Many drugs can make us feel really good, but this relationship may invite a great deal of risk depending on which drugs you use and how the relationship flows over time.

One risk here is that using drugs in this manner can lead to addiction. Another risk is that such usage can gradually numb your ability to feel as much pleasure from other pursuits, such as gaining a sense of accomplishment from completing a task. You may experience a loss of natural motivation if the drug relationship interferes with your normal biochemical reward pathways. This can lead to consuming the drug more frequently or at higher doses in an attempt to restore your previous emotional baseline.

My advice is to be very cautious if you use drugs for pleasure, especially if you perceive a meaningful risk of getting addicted or throwing your physiology out of whack. Trying to maintain this type of relationship with drugs has been a slippery slope for many people.

I personally know someone who became very addicted to cocaine, and that addiction wrecked his career, finances, and marriage. He maxed out his personal and business credit to buy more cocaine, then secretly opened new credit accounts under his wife’s name without telling her and maxed those out too. Eventually his house of cards came tumbling down, and he finally began working on overcoming his addiction. With strong encouragement from her family to get the hell out that relationship, his wife left him while he was in rehab. He eventually rebuilt his life in a new direction, including becoming very religious, but it sure wasn’t easy for him. He really seemed like a different person afterwards, perhaps because I’d grown accustomed to his cocaine-fueled personality. That’s another factor to take into consideration – that drugs may reshape your personality to such a degree that you may end up having to rebuild a lot of human relationships after getting off them, possibly because people will be left wondering if they ever really knew you.

One way to help prevent this relationship from overtaking you is by having some totally drug-free weeks or months every year, ideally combined with eating a super clean diet. For me this means abstaining from coffee, chocolate, alcohol, and anything else that may be considered a drug. I will often eat fully or mostly raw for many weeks in a row too; in 2021 I did that for the whole year. I like to give my body plenty of clean stretches. I find these periods really good for detoxification, mental clarity improvements, emotional rebalancing, and resetting any potential drug-related tolerances (mainly caffeine). One benefit is that doing this regularly can restore your sensitivity to various drugs. Many foods will taste and smell better afterwards too.

Another good practice is to place extra rails on when you’ll use drugs for pleasure, so as to limit how frequently you’ll do that. As I noted earlier, I’ve only smoked pot while traveling and only with other people, so I never created an association to doing it at home, in my home city, or by myself. That makes it pretty tough for me to get addicted to it. I’ve met people who can’t seem to function without smoking pot daily, and I have no desire to go that route since it seems like a fairly sad place to be, so I regard such people as useful signposts warning of the potential dangers of going too far with a particular drug relationship. I remember cuddling with such a woman once and noting how fragmented her energy felt, as if her spirit was broken into shards like a shattered mirror.

Be ultra-cautious about taking drugs where pleasure is the primary benefit, such as heroin. That can really spiral your life downward quickly. Personally I prefer to maintain an abstinent relationship with such substances that have such a high risk to reward ratio.

With many types of psychedelics, pleasure-based addiction is highly unlikely. It’s pretty much unheard of to get addicted to LSD, for instance. Even when microdosing regularly, LSD isn’t likely to create a physiological addiction. With some psychedelics that can produce pleasurable feelings though, such as MDMA (Ecstasy), it’s possible to take it more frequently than is wise due to a desire to experience those delightful feelings again. For some people this can create negative side effects like feeling down when not taking MDMA.

This is one reason I feel pretty safe exploring psychedelics. I see little chance of ever becoming addicted to them. It’s nice to have some space between sessions, so I can do the deep inner work of integration by journaling, reflecting, and discussing the experience with friends. I like that psychedelics don’t take me away from socializing but actually improve my social life. So instead of using drugs for pleasure, consider the big picture of using drugs to increase your overall happiness, especially when you’re not actively taking them.

Be sure to consider the risk-reward ratio too. In terms of potential harm to oneself and others, alcohol is perhaps the most dangerous common drug out there, followed by heroin, meth, cocaine, and tobacco. Cannabis is significantly safer than all of those. And mushrooms, LSD, MDMA, and Ketamine are all significantly safer than cannabis. See this drug safety chart for more details.

I like exploring with mushrooms because they’re a lot less risky than other substances, and I can see with my eyes that a shroom is a shroom, as opposed to wondering what a pill may actually contain. Most MDMA isn’t pure, for instance, since it’s cut with other substances. I also don’t have to worry about what dubious source I might be supporting with mushrooms since they aren’t coming from some cartel operation.

Escape

Another common use of drugs is to escape. Take a break from life by putting it on pause for a while, or at least make it seem that way. It’s a coping strategy for dealing with life’s pressures (work, money, relationships, family demands, etc.). For some it’s an escape from boredom.

How this relationship develops depends on your frequency and intensity of escape. Are you using drugs occasionally as a pressure-release value or perhaps to add a bit more variety to your life? Does this help you return to your life with a bit more capacity afterwards? This kind of escape-based relationship can be very positive, like taking a vacation now and then.

Alternatively, have drugs become a more frequent escape, such that your life is essentially on pause and failing to advance? Is this relationship with drugs interfering with your human relationships, fueling more disconnection and isolation? This can be a very problematic relationship for anyone who values growth and self-development, essentially trapping you in a dead end for a while.

Use escape to help you do the work of developing yourself. Be wary of trying to escape from doing the work itself though.

One significant risk of using drugs for frequent escape is that it can become a version of slow suicide, all the way till you’ve escaping your body through death. Spiritually I like to hold the view that there’s really no escape there because you’ll simply carry those problems with your afterwards. It’s easier to work through them while you’re here.

You may find it beneficial to use drugs for occasional escape, such that you’re better able to do the work of being human. This is another situation where the standard of appreciation can help. Ask yourself if you’d likely appreciate a brief escape. I especially like to ask if my future self would appreciate it. That gives me a pretty clear answer as to what my best thinking has to say about the option.

Performance

One interesting use of drugs is to enhance mental and/or physical performance. Caffeine, Adderall, and steroids come to mind here.

In this context consider whether the drug will be used only occasionally to yield a long-term performance boost afterwards, such as with psychedelics, or it it must be taken regularly to provide those benefits. The latter situation generally entails more risk, including the risk of addiction and other side effects that may worsen the longer you consume the drug.

Last month I learned that psychedelics have been used by athletes for this purpose. Psychedelics don’t really help with physical performance, and if they did they’d likely be banned in many pro sports. However, psychedelics can help with improving emotions that affect performance, such as by creating a stronger sense of teamwork, and they can also help with pain in some situations. NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers is one such athlete who used psychedelics in a sports context. I saw him speak about it at the Psychedelic Science 2023 conference a few weeks ago.

If you take any drugs for performance reasons, I also recommend going drug-free for some extended time periods (ideally for at least a month or two each year) in order to reset your baseline. This can actually make the drug more effective if and when you start taking it again.

One thing I like about psychedelics is their potential to offer a long-term mental or emotional upgrade even from taking the drug only once (if the dosage is high enough). Their relative safety makes this an interesting bet to make. I particularly loved hearing John Mackay’s story at the PS2023 conference, where he shared how taking LSD had a profound effect on him, which eventually led to the founding of Whole Foods. He acknowledged that Whole Foods wouldn’t exist if not for his taking LSD. It’s fascinating how a very small amount of certain substances can unlock a whole lot of performance in some people.

Addiction and Dependency

Addiction and dependency are common aspects of people’s relationships with drugs. Although this is usually not due to conscious choice, it can be, such as when someone willingly starts consuming a substance they know from prior experience will almost certainly re-habitualize them, and they choose to do so anyway.

Because addiction and dependency can cause serious problems with some substances, including to your health, finances, and the well-being of others, it’s wise to do your homework first and research a new substance to learn about its effects, history, and likelihood of addiction. Look to your family history of drug use since that’s a good predictor as well. My family doesn’t have a history of alcohol addiction that I’m aware of, but I know that one distant relative died from cancer due to smoking, and I see that caffeine dependency is common in my family. The biggest addiction I see in my family tree is religion, so I feel fortunate to have shed that one during my teenage years, preferring to maintain an abstinent relationship afterwards.

I don’t consider dependency to be a binary state but rather a continuum. I think an interesting way to gauge your level of attachment is when you consider going a year without a particular substance. What’s your inner reaction to that?

Could you go a year with zero caffeine, including no coffee, caffeinated tea, or chocolate? If you feel significant internal resistance to that, I’d say you have some level of dependency there. I recognize this in myself too. I can do a year stimulant-free and have done so many times before, but when I’m drinking coffee regularly, I also recognize that part of me will emotionally resist that idea.

What about cannabis? Could you do a year pot-free? With that question I get zero resistance – that would be a breeze. The last time I smoked pot was in 2013, so I’ve already gone a decade without it. I think I’m pretty safe in claiming dependency-free status there. I know plenty of people who’d react with strong resistance to the suggestion of taking a year off though.

I think there’s more subtlety to dependency than this though. You might want to continue exploring your relationship with a substance but not feel physiologically addicted to it. It can be tricky to assess the difference, but pay attention to which part of you the objection is coming from when you consider taking a year off. How needy does that objecting part feel? Also consider why you’re taking the substance.

I do think it’s more likely to point to some level of dependence if you’re consuming a substance for pleasure or escape, and when you consider taking a year off, the objection feels clingy and emotional, as if you’d be deprived of a basic need. Contrast this with having a mild sense of disappointment regarding missing out on the growth and transformation benefits if you abstain for a lengthy period of time – having more of a modest “Ah that would be a shame to abstain” feeling. Presently I get that sort of feeling when I think about taking a year off of psychedelics. The part of me that objects doesn’t feel needy or clingy. The objection feels like it’s coming from a more rational part of me that thinks I might miss out on some really interesting growth lessons and potential transformative gains if I put this exploration on pause for that long.

Another way to tell if you’re dependent or addicted is to stop all consumption for a while and see how your body reacts. If you get withdrawal symptoms, that’s a good sign you’ve developed a dependency, and your physiology needs time to adapt to life without the substance.

Lots of humans are long-term drug addicts in the physiological sense, especially with caffeine, cigarettes, alcohol, and various pharmaceuticals. I think the important factor here is to be honest, and to really assess your relationship with an addictive substance, it’s important to reflect upon your relationship from both sides – when you’re consuming it and when you’re not. Then compare notes.

A good way to do this is to journal about your relationship with the substance, sometimes while you’re consuming it and sometimes while you aren’t. Then read those entries back, again both while you’re consuming and while you aren’t. This will help you develop a broader perspective.

I did this with caffeine and found that I have a relatively positive relationship with it when I haven’t been consuming it continuously for too long. But if I have it daily for several months at a stretch, that relationship predictably sours, and then I feel much better switching to caffeine-free abstinence for a while.

To make this assessment of course requires that you take some time off from a substance. You can use this method in a broader sense too, especially when facing tricky decisions. For instance, how do you feel about your work when you’re at work and when you’re at home? Write journal entries about it at work and at home, and read them back in those different environments to compare. This will give you a more balanced perspective.

Shame, Fear, Guilt, and Regret

Negative emotions can become a part of people’s relationships with drugs for a variety of reasons. The illegality of many substances can be an issue, especially if you run into legal problems. Another issue can be the impact on your finances if you’re spending a lot of money on drugs or if drug use is negatively impacting your finances or income. More issues can arise if you’re worried about or subjected to judgmental attitudes from others. And there can be impacts to your work life as well, such as the risk of losing your job if your employer learned about your drug use.

If you have negative emotions wrapped into your relationship with any substances, there’s always the invitation to sort those out and decide what’s really true for you. See if you can separate the truth aspect of your relationship (i.e. the facts) from the interpretation that you and others may be layering on top of it (i.e. the assignment of meaning). Even as the facts may continue unchanged, you always have the power to alter the assignment of meaning.

I grew up being conditioned to layer a very negative – and highly irrational – assignment of meaning to drugs. It took a while to re-educate myself and teach my brain more truth, a process which is still ongoing. I found it important to be more flexible and open-minded regarding the assignment of meaning regarding drug consumption because that largely determines how I feel about it. I want to assign meanings that aligns with rationality, not with someone’s manipulative agendas.

I see no point in assigning meaning that generates negative emotions like shame, guilt, fear, and regret. Those assignments of meaning often trace back to someone else trying to encourage those emotions as leverage for control. Once you see that, it’s easier to dump those frames, which restores your own freedom to choose a more intelligent meaning.

For instance, are you a bad person or a derelict if you use drugs? Who wants you to feel that way? Whom does that framing serve? Yup, someone who wants to control your behavior. Do you want to be controlled?

What if you’ve made some big mistakes with drugs and got into some major trouble with them? You can still let the facts be the facts. There’s no need to feel bad about that. We humans make lots of mistakes. It makes more sense to own that. Shaming ourselves about it doesn’t actually help, so we can simply skip that part.

I prefer to frame mistakes as lessons and give myself room to make mistakes without beating myself up about it. It’s all part of the learning process. Drug-related mistakes can actually provide many benefits, such as turning into humorous stories when retold, which can lead to more intimacy and connection with people. I often love hearing stories about people’s worst drug-related experiences because when enough time passes, they tend to reflect back on such times with a sense of humor and hard-won wisdom, and we can connect over the sheer craziness of it all.

Also consider that if you use shame and guilt on other people, that’s going to affect your relationships with them, and you’re likely to hear less truth from them in return. If you’re doing this with anyone, also consider whether its a manipulative control strategy, and take a deeper look at whether that’s the kind of person you really want to be. Trying to make someone feel bad about themselves is very different than setting, communicating, and maintaining clear boundaries for yourself, your home, etc. You can maintain the boundaries you need without needing to manipulate anyone emotionally.

Ownership and Responsibility

For various reasons there can be a lot of denial regarding drug use. I want to distinguish this from keeping secrets, which you may be doing for very rational reasons, such as to prevent potential harm, legal jeopardy, or loss for yourself and others. Or you may prefer to avoid having to hear other people’s judgments, especially if you don’t find them helpful or productive.

I think one of the healthiest ways to relate to drugs is with ownership and responsibility. If you’re doing any sort of drugs, remember that you’re the one making that decision, so you might as well own it. If things have gotten out of control or if you’ve become addicted, you might as well own that too.

Where does your relationship with drugs exist? It’s all in your mind. The way you think and feel about that relationship is the relationship. Regardless of how much control you think you have, the responsibility for that relationship rests with you because you’re the one who has to deal with it.

Keep your hand on the wheel of responsibility. This includes being responsible for your feelings. If you don’t like the emotions that are bubbling up within you, you can invest in changing them as well. This won’t necessarily be easy, but it’s easier than dropping into helplessness.

I do a lot of self-development exploration, and I’ve so often seen how important is to fully own what I’m exploring, even if I’m relatively new to it and don’t really know what I’m doing yet. With any new exploration, there’s that bumbling beginner phase. I found it best to own my right to explore well beyond my current competencies. That’s how I learn and grow. It makes no sense to stick to what I know for sure because then I’ll stop growing. I’ll have more to offer and share with the world if I keep learning and exploring, and there’s value in sharing during the beginner phase as well.

I found that other people’s judgments were much worse when I wasn’t fully owning this aspect of my life, as if for some reason I needed to apologize for wanting to stretch myself. Some people also held the ridiculous notion that I was obligated to satisfy their expectations of me and that if I didn’t, they had to nudge me back in line. I quickly learned to enforce a stronger boundary there and to make it clear that I didn’t consent to suffering fools who’d object with harsh judgments whenever I got into something new. That worked very well, and it seems like I did a very good job of shedding those types of people a long time ago. It was a good kind of purge.

How many people have expressed objection to my exploration of psychedelics this year? I’m pretty sure it’s zero; at least I don’t recall anyone doing so. That isn’t because psychedelics aren’t controversial. I’m convinced it’s because I fully own this exploration. Holographically speaking, this is yet another pointer to the importance of having strong intentionality, similar to what happens during a psychedelic journey.

I say that if you’re going to consciously explore drugs, do your best to fully own it. Pre-decide what you’ll share about your explorations and whom you’ll share it with. And declare a boundary that you needn’t deal with anyone’s irrational judgments or attempts to emotionally manipulate you.

Recognize too that a lot of very smart, creative, high-contributing people have consumed various drugs during their lives. Many credit such experiences as major turning points.

Rebellion

One last relationship you can have with drugs that I’ll mention is that of rebellion. This probably won’t be part of your relationship with coffee or chocolate, but it could show up in your relationships with other drugs if there’s a part of you that wants to use them to thumb your nose at society or authority.

Exploring drugs can indeed serve as a way to assert your independence and slough off other people’s attempts to control or manipulate you. This is a phase that many people go through, and it can be a very positive step forward.

I do recommend that if this is part of your relationship with drugs, make it a temporary one. The problem with rebellion is that it’s a reactive type of relationship. Initially it can help you become more free, but if you stick with the rebel framing for too long, it actually makes you less free. Rebels need something to rebel against, and you may eventually want to relate to drugs in a more flexible way, without needing anything pushing against you.

When maintained for too long, the rebel posture can influence you to do drugs in less purposeful ways, such as when you don’t really want to be doing them. It may also encourage you to explore substances that don’t offer much long-term promise yet have major downsides, such as cigarettes.

Feel free to drive through the rebel tunnel, but don’t park inside it, lest the fumes consume you.

* * *

I applaud your endurance if you’ve read this far, and I hope this helped you reflect upon your relationship with drugs with more conscientiousness. We covered many different ways of relating to drugs, but this isn’t an exhaustive list by any means. How you relate to drugs can be complex, and you have many options for exploring these relationships throughout your lifetime.

One way of framing this challenge is to discover what modes of relating to drugs you appreciate most. For some that may be a form of abstinence. Others might prefer to dabble here and there. And still others may find value in deeper explorations. As you continue to learn and grow, your relationships with various drugs may evolve as well.

At this time in my life, I feel aligned with an attitude of curious yet cautious exploration with thoughtful intentionality. An especially rewarding aspect is how this pursuit has deepened my sense of connectedness and intimacy with people and with reality. I feel more present to the social aspects of life, and I feel more sensitive to the signals of intuition and inspiration. ❤️

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Making the Mundane Magnificent: A Fresh Approach to Everyday Tasks

We all have those mundane tasks that we can’t seem to shake off our to-do lists – the ones that make us sigh just thinking about them. But let’s challenge this mindset: Is the task boring or are we approaching it with a boring mindset? What if the task isn’t inherently dreadful, but we’re simply being uninteresting in how we approach it? What would happen if we were to bring a fun, engaging, and playful mindset to these tasks?

Consider the simple act of doing household chores. They can often feel tedious, right? But let’s reframe. Instead of approaching them with a sense of dread, I often pair them with something I find enjoyable. Listening to an audiobook or some energetic trance music transforms the experience, turning a mundane task into an opportunity for enjoyment or learning.

Another aspect that can drastically change how we experience these tasks is the level of quality we bring to them. Doing tasks at a higher than normal level of quality can make them feel more engaging. For instance, when cleaning the house, don’t just aim to get it done. Aim to get it done exceptionally well. Take pride in the cleanliness of your home. This mindset shift not only improves the result but also makes the process more fulfilling. Challenge yourself to raise your standard above the baseline minimum.

Shopping is another chore that often lands on the “tedious tasks” list. But who says it has to be that way? When I go grocery shopping with my wife Rachelle, it becomes an enjoyable shared experience. And when I go alone, I opt for off-peak hours, making the experience quick and stress-free. Better yet, I’ll hold off until I’m in the mood for a bit of physical activity. The key is flexibility – aligning the task with your emotional state can make a world of difference.

Some tasks can wait until the right motivation or timing aligns. When Rachelle borrowed the car to run errands last week, it was the perfect time to oil the garage door – a task easier done with the car out of the way. Embrace these moments of serendipity when they come.

Staying organized also plays a big part in making tasks more manageable. I use the Things app to set reminders for recurring tasks like changing the air conditioning filters or adjusting the sprinkler timers for different seasons. This way, nothing slips through the cracks, and it’s one less thing to remember. This also helps to spread maintenance tasks throughout the year, so they don’t pile up too much.

Physical tasks can provide a welcome break from the mental exertion that much of our work entails. There’s something satisfying about engaging with the physical world and seeing the tangible results of our efforts. After I’ve done a lot of mental work, I often enjoy chipping away at something physical for a welcome change of pace.

Don’t underestimate the power of social connection. I discovered years ago that finding a dentist with a great team made my regular check-ups something to look forward to. Sharing stories about our recent travels or workout routines with the hygienist while getting a cleaning made the experience more personal and enjoyable. When I needed to get some plumbing work done last year, I held out till I found a fabulous local plumber with many years of experience. He was a joy to work with all throughout the project. Then I gave him a glowing 5-star review on Yelp.

The angle you approach a task from can drastically change how you perceive it. Look for ways to make tasks more appealing and engaging, and you’ll find they’re not so bad after all. It’s mainly a matter of being creative and thinking divergently. If the standard approach is boring, reject the standard approach; otherwise you’re being boring!

Above all, the universal motivator for me has been regular exercise. The physiological benefits, such as rebalanced neurotransmitters and hormones, permeate every aspect of life. Exercise enhances overall motivation, making even the smallest tasks feel easier. If you have a dreadful relationship with certain tasks, look at upgrading your exercise routine first. If it’s weak or nonexistent, that’s the #1 issue I’d recommend fixing first, not with a temporary quick fix but with a permanent solution and a permanent mindset upgrade. Exercise is a great way to explore how you’re going to fall in love with daily action. It’s the perfect reference experience for discovering how to strengthen your relationships with all kinds of tasks.

Finally, consider the impact of what you consume. For instance, I’ve noticed that being caffeine-free (and chocolate-free) makes many tasks easier to complete. It leaves me feeling more relaxed and at ease during the process. It’s certainly worth exploring how what you consume affects your motivation and productivity. I often change up my diet (always vegan of course) to align with the projects I’ll be doing. When I need more motivation, mental capacity, and energy, I lean towards high raw or fully raw.

The next time you find yourself faced with a mundane task, take a moment to consider how you might refactor it. Is there an angle you can approach it from that would make it more engaging? Could you combine it with something enjoyable or meaningful? Could you bring a playful mindset to it? How can you elevate its quality? Remember, the task is only as mundane as you allow it to be. Bring a sense of wonder to it, and you’ll make it wonderful.

Don’t blame the task. Look inward and ask: How can I bring more fun and engagement to this experience? In the end, it’s not just about getting things done, but enjoying the journey.

You have the power to redefine your experience with everyday tasks. It’s not about the task itself, but the mindset you bring to it. You might be surprised at how much more enjoyable life becomes when you make the mundane magnificent.

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Productivity Starts With Courage

I recently starting developing a new deep dive course, which I expect to launch later this calendar quarter. It’s called Engage, and my intentions for it are ambitious.

Engage is about optimizing personal productivity and creating a powerfully engaged life. It’s going to be unlike any productivity course or book you’ve ever seen before. This will be our 6th course, and I want it to be our very best one – helping a wide range of people experience major productivity breakthroughs. I’m framing this as our one course to rule them all. I want this to be our #1 flagship course.

These are the big rocks that will form the backbone of Engage. These function as a productivity alignment sequence, which we’ll work through in a mostly linear order.

  1. Courage – invite it
  2. Clarity – feel it
  3. Intensity – claim it
  4. Integration – own it
  5. Harmony – be it

I intend to make this a deeply honest course on productivity. In that regard it’s not going to be sterile or gentle. It’s going to delve deeply into the motivational and emotional side of productivity since that’s where real productivity is born.

I want to show you how to connect the productivity dots from top to bottom – all the way from creating a sense of life purpose down to deciding which specific tasks to do on a Tuesday afternoon.

As I’m exploring the Engage concepts, I’m really liking how simple and direct they can be for making sense of intentions, goals, and projects. There’s a level of honesty that makes engagement problems really clear when using the 5 principles as diagnostic tools.

What’s really interesting is seeing how people avoid the obvious by asking the wrong questions about productivity, such as which apps to use or how to organize everything in Notion. Yet they’re doing uninspired work that doesn’t engage the heart and most likely never will. They really have no chance at being consistently productive till they get their heart engaged. Without strong emotional engagement, they just won’t have access to their best thinking, creativity, and flow.

Instead of fussing over apps, these same people ought to be asking why their emotional and motivational standards have been so low for so long – and what they can do to raise those standards permanently and keep them high for life.

Heart Engagement

When I was going through college in 3 semesters and getting tons done every week, I didn’t have or use any productivity apps. I didn’t have a pocket computer or a phone except for a land line in my room. There was no web or social media. My main productivity tools were a small notebook to record assignments and a pen. I had a paper calendar on my desk, but it always stayed in my room, so I never took it to school with me. That was all I needed to be highly productive and to stay well organized, even with up to 13 classes to juggle each semester and extracurricular activities too.

I can see that I used these core productivity principles very well back then. My heart was fully engaged, and I kept my motivation high (by making high motivation a priority). My goals were crisp, clear, and personally meaningful, and I centered my life around them. I said no to misaligned people and invitations. A strong heartset supported a fully engaged mindset, which enabled me to sustain an intense period of productivity. I ended up exceeding my original goals by earning two degrees instead of one. And the process to get there was rewarding.

I had a similar experience with doing contract game programming work during my last summer and last semester of college. The room where I worked had no phone and no Internet. I had no productivity apps. I used a spiral notebook and a pen to track my to-dos. I mainly just used one piece of software on the computer, Borland C++, to do the actual coding work. Most days that was the only program I opened. I got so much done during that time.

I do use some productivity apps today which I like, especially Things and Bear, but I use them simply. My #1 productivity tools are still very tactile – spiral notebook, pens, index cards, and dry erase boards. The digital tools are nice to have, but I really don’t need them to be very productive because productivity is primarily emotional.

Always Be Exam-Ready

I don’t use Notion, Evernote, Dropbox or other apps that essentially serve as clutter bins. I’m fairly spartan when it comes to collecting and storing information. When I encounter interesting ideas, I do my best to apply and integrate them immediately, so they become a part of my thinking and doing. Otherwise I let them go if they don’t fit.

Note that “integration” is the #4 engagement principle on the list above. How well have you integrated the best ideas you’ve encountered, such that you’re applying them to good effect each day? When good ideas become your natural daily actions, you don’t need reference notes to keep reminding you about what you should be doing.

This mindset aligns with what I discovered in college. I was taking too many classes to have extra time for studying outside of class. So I had to learn and remember what was being taught when it was being taught – during class. I tried not to leave the classroom till I had internalized the lesson. Sometimes that learning extended through the homework as well. I told my mind to learn the material well enough the first time that I felt ready to be tested on it immediately afterwards. That was a powerful and effective intention that prevented me from falling behind.

I love this standard of always being exam-ready. I can’t be dumping ideas into a digital clutter bin for later processing and still feel like I’m exam-ready with those ideas.

I know the concept of building a “second brain” is popular these days. What a delightful sounding label for procrastination? It’s like calling a clogged toilet a second sink.

What’s the point of gathering and sorting info clutter if your first brain isn’t on fire with motivation and focused with intensity? If you optimize your first brain, you won’t need a second brain.

Apps can be nice, but only in service to a fully engaged heart and mind. The best apps won’t fix your underlying issues, and they might just make matters worse by obscuring real problems under extra layers of complexity.

Emotional Intensity vs. App Propensity

It ought to seem obvious that a person with strong heart engagement, sustainably high motivation, clear goals, and intense focus can be super productive without the benefit of any modern productivity apps. Pen and paper are sufficient. Contrast this with someone who gets really into apps but doesn’t have their heart and mind fully engaged, committed, and focused. Which person would you bet on?

In the Engage deep dive, the first principle that we’ll start with is Courage, which is really about heart engagement. Most people don’t even pass this phase successfully, which is the main reason they struggle with productivity and consistency. They tolerate partial matches and mismatches. They ignore and suppress the voice of their heart, which would scream at them if they gave it a real chance to speak.

That’s our starting point. We’re going to crack open this space and invite the heart to get really vocal and honest. For some people this won’t be pretty, but it will be deeply honest.

This will not be a gentle course. Our primary focus won’t be on creating a “safe space” like we did with the Guild course. For this kind of transformation, we need to co-create a powerful growth space. We’re going to cover a lot of rich and interesting mental concepts, but we’re not going to retreat into the mind like most productivity courses do. We’re going to delve into the realm of fear and doubt right from the beginning, and we’re going to invite the heart to reveal the path of courage.

So from the very first principle, this is a journey that invites you to leave your old comfort zone behind. That’s going to take courage. You’ll be invited to form different intentions and to set different goals than you’ve ever set before.

I have zero interest in watching people try to squeeze out more productivity from work they don’t even want to be doing. I want to help people discover what truly lights them up. Help them amplify the voice of their hearts, so they can’t stomach ignoring it any longer.

Engaging with Engage

One thing I love to do when developing courses is to use the principles of the course to help create the course. I’ve done that with all of the previous courses so far, and I’m doing that with Engage too.

I’m working to develop a course that feels courageous and edgy; that offers crisp, clear, and actionable ideas and processes, that’s intense to develop and experience, that integrates its ideas into a coherent and sensible structure, and that maintains a beautiful and elegant internal harmony.

Creating Engage is a big challenge, and I love working it. There’s so much productivity information already in existence, and now I see a path forward to create and share something truly unique, different, and personally meaningful.

Codifying these ideas is already helping me make some productivity upgrades in my own life. That’s what gets me especially excited about the development process – when I’m able to identify and immediately implement upgrades I didn’t recognize before. These upgrades stem from deepening and simplifying my understanding, especially in terms of how different ideas connect with each other. For instance, I’m gaining a much better understanding of how critical courage is and how it fuels clarity, focus, and intensity. Just setting the intention for Engage to be our #1 flagship course creates ripples of extra motivation. Sharing this intention publicly also raises the stakes. But internally this kind of intention really lights me up inside and makes me want to do the best creative work of my life. It makes working on Engage feel even more engaging.

I’m also boosting my understanding of the tail aspects of long-term productivity – integration and harmony. One reason I’ve been vegan for 26 years now (most of my life) is that I fully integrated veganism into my life and harmonized with it. Same goes for doing personal development work for 18+ years and still feeling highly engaged with it. These fit into my life harmoniously, so they aren’t vulnerable to being wedged out, and I don’t need to lean on discipline to maintain them.

Note that self-discipline isn’t one of our Engage principles. Self-discipline is for the people with clogged toilets. Let’s see how long they can hold it.

“Engage!”

Fans of Star Trek: The Next Generation may also recognize that Captain Picard loves to say “Engage” to get the ship moving towards its next destination after laying in a course. The name for the course actually popped into my head spontaneously while I was thinking about it one day, so I didn’t consciously choose it because of that. But I immediately thought of that association afterwards. That made me like it even more. When I think of Picard flicking his wrist and saying “Engage,” as the ship and crew boldly warp off to go explore some new alien world, I see it as a succinct way to grasp what a highly engaged life feels like. It feels like you’re warping off to a bold new adventure that’s sure to keep you on your toes.

Is that you feel about your work, life, relationships, and lifestyle most of the time?

If not, you haven’t even accepted the invitation of Stage 1 yet. Just imagine how much more is possible when you’re regularly flowing through and aligning with all 5 of these principles.

Moreover, when I looked up the dictionary definitions of Engage, I saw just how perfect it was because all of those meanings are relevant to this journey. An engagement can even refer to a battle or conflict, and that’s how many people experience their struggles with procrastination and distraction. They’re trying in vain to win battles with their mind that their heart could help them win with ease.

There’s still much to be worked out before we’re ready to begin the Engage journey together. I think this will be especially rewarding for people who really want to experience something fresh, new, bold, and intelligent. The first place we’ll explore together will be Planet Heartspace, which is sure to seem like an alien world to those who’ve been stranded on Headspace for most of their lives. 😉

Why Wait? Let’s Get Started Now!

How about a tip to get started with the Engage principles right now? I recommend setting and holding these kinds of intentions:

  • I invite courage into my life.
  • Show me the path with a heart in all areas of life.
  • I’m ready to walk the path with a heart.
  • Help me soundly reject and release that which is misaligned with my heart.
  • Show me where and how I can be much, much bolder.
  • Let me begin each day by asking what I can do that’s bold and courageous.
  • Show me how to stretch my courage today.
  • Show me what fear to face next.
  • Let me hear what my heart has to say about the misaligned areas of my life and what it wants me to do instead.
  • I’m ready to live each day in courage and heart-alignment.

So don’t focus on trying to be more productive. If you want to be more productive, start by intending to be more courageous. Courage is the first door to walk through on the path to creating and experiencing a highly engaged life.

Fear, hesitation, worry, anxiety, apathy, confusion, disappointment – this is what you experience when your heart isn’t fully engaged. These are the consequences of turning your back on courage for too long. So flip this around today by intending, inviting, and accepting courage into your life. You aren’t ready to experience real clarity and intensity until you’re willing to embrace the energy of courage.

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What It’s Like Being Me

I love asking people this question: What is it really like being you?

We can see how people speak and behave on the outside, but what do we know of their interior perspective?

What I love about this question is that it invites real intimacy and empathy. It’s an invitation into trust. I feel honored when someone does their best to answer honestly. It’s fascinating to discover how someone frames and experiences their interior world, at least to the extent they can articulate it.

I thought it would be interesting to answer this question too, if only to see what comes through when I try to answer it.

Centeredness

I love being me and really enjoy my life, which feels rich and rewarding. I feel like I figured out the big rocks and put them in place many years ago. I feel very aligned with the work I get to do and the people I regularly connect with, especially in Conscious Growth Club and the Transformational Leadership Council.

I don’t experience any meaningful doubt about the path I’m on, at least not at the macro level. I like to think carefully about the projects I commit to, but I can’t say that I ever seriously feel like making a significant change in my career path or lifestyle at this point. I’m always interested in upgrades and improvements, but the overall trajectory of my life feels like it’s already perfect for me.

So on the inside, I normally feel very centered and engaged with whatever I’m doing and experiencing. I enjoy a beautiful sense of harmony with my work and life balance. I don’t feel like work and life are separate. It feels more like the work and non-work parts of life are always dancing with each other.

Energy & Enthusiasm

One of the main emotions I experience is enthusiasm.

I love to feel positively stimulated with emotion, not all the time to the maximum, but as nice accents throughout each day. I like to feel amped up and engaged with life.

Partly this is a decision to move away from boredom and dullness. When I feel that the energy of a situation is a bit low for my tastes, I’ll often do something to shift it. For instance, I frequently like to play music and dance around while making meals. I love it when Rachelle does that with me too.

Every day I find something to feel enthusiastic about, usually many times each day. It could be a new business idea, but I’ll also generate enthusiasm for everyday experiences like greeting Rachelle when she gets up, doing a Zoom call, or watching a show together. I’ll even generate excitement about running errands.

My mind has a strong tendency to want to bounce away from boredom and towards feelings of engagement, playfulness, and fun. For me this aspect of my inner reality is solidly implanted.

Raising Vibes

I think this is something I learned from watching movies when I was younger. There are so many movie scenes where a high-energy character walks in, and the whole vibe of the scene changes. Or maybe it’s an unusual character who shifts the vibe of whatever scene they’re in. One example is Bill Murray’s character in Ghostbusters. Another is Val Kilmer’s character in Real Genius. Such characters were basically my heroes when I was younger. You’ve probably seen countless examples of these characters too.

When I interact with people socially, I often think about how I can stimulate them vibrationally… like what I could say or do to help connect them with more enthusiasm for their lives, experiences, and opportunities. Sometimes I feel that my role has been to shake people awake if they’ve been sleeping through life in zombie mode.

I sense that a great key to life is how we manage our energy, which includes thought energy, physical energy, and emotional energy. I think you can include spiritual energy too. I pay serious attention to the flow of energy through myself and through interactions with others. If the energy flow feels off somehow, I do my best to shift it in a more positive and constructive direction.

I think that for much of my life, I’ve felt a strong attraction to certain vibes and a strong repulsion towards others. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten better and better at centering my life around the vibes I like and defending myself from vibes I dislike. I’m attracted to vibes like abundance, playfulness, curiosity, and creativity. I’m repulsed by neediness, close-mindedness, defeatism, and depression.

Thinking Algorithmically

Probably because I learned computer programming when I was a kid, I tend to think of life in terms of interesting problems to be solved and challenges to work through. I live in a world of puzzles to be figured out, and I love chipping away at these. These puzzles could include business challenges, creative challenges, personal challenges, and more.

I don’t worry if problems are solvable. I tend to regard everything as solvable and figureoutable. I generally assume that every problem has multiple solutions, so my mind starts churning on various solution pathways instead of fussing over whether it’s solvable. I’m much more concerned by which pathways seem the most elegant to me. I love to discover shortcuts.

Some problems in my life took me a long time to solve, but I eventually figured them out. It doesn’t bother me if some problems take years or even decades to solve. The time is going to pass anyway, and since I love working on interesting problems and challenges, I enjoy the experience of continuing to chip away at them.

I’m always looking to improve my toolset of problem-solving skills. Tackling interesting problems and challenges helps me improve those tools and upgrade my models of reality.

Belongingness

Imagine receiving thank you messages and expressions of appreciation from people around the world every day of your life. That’s been my reality for the past 18+ years, ever since I started blogging in 2004. That’s probably going to continue for the rest of my life, even if I stopped working.

Recently my book Personal Development for Smart People came out in China, so I’ve been getting a surge in appreciative emails from Chinese readers.

What does this do to my interior perspective? It gives me an unshakeable feeling of belongingness.

When I was younger, I often felt isolated and disconnected, like I was an alien in this world who didn’t belong here. I haven’t felt that way in decades though. Today I feel solidly at home here. I have zero doubt that this is where I belong – on this planet and in this field. I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

I feel at home whenever I travel too. Foreign locations don’t feel foreign to me. I’m so used to communicating with people from all over the world that it feels like the whole world is home.

Appreciation

I feel like I’m immersed in a reality that’s filled with experiences, people, and items to appreciate. I can’t seem to help feeling lots of appreciation each day. I appreciate my work. I appreciate my home. I appreciate Rachelle. I appreciate living in Las Vegas. I appreciate this community.

I also appreciate the little things in life. I spent time interacting with various objects and tech each day, and I learned how important it is to fill my life with items that evoke appreciation. This week I’ve been working with a bunch of hand tools to hang acoustic panels, and using them makes me smile sometimes because I carefully selected and purchased tools that I’d appreciate – such as a drill, tape measure, level, etc.

For me practicing appreciation was a huge key in shifting from scarcity to abundance, so this attitude of appreciation is indelibly woven into my mindset. Almost always when I touch something physically, there’s a part of me saying “thank you” internally for the experience. This happens when I put my hands on the steering wheel in my car, when I open up my laptop, when I pick up a knife in the kitchen, etc. I sense that we only have so many experiences in life, and I want even the most mundane ones to be infused with appreciation.

It would also be unusual for me to go through a day without saying thank you to someone for something. I love to express appreciation, and I sense that people could always use more of it. I would love to see more people expressing genuine gratitude for all the wonders we get to experience in this life instead of taking so much for granted.

When I die I want my last words to be: Thank you for this life.

Love

A big part of my interior perspective is that I enjoy being in love every day. I know a lot of people probably see me as a more mental creature due to seeing that side of me from my writing, but internally I feel a lot of love energy flowing through me each day.

I really, really, really enjoy and appreciate my relationship with Rachelle. Every day I get to spend with her is sheer delight.

Our relationship doesn’t feel effortful. It feels like a wonderful gift. I think that’s because we’re so ridiculously compatible. I recognize that what we have is very special, and on the inside that makes me feel very lucky.

I feel doubly fortunate that I get to see sides of Rachelle that she doesn’t often share with others. To people who don’t know her well, she may seem shy or introverted, but with me she shares so much playfulness, fun, love, warmth, and affection.

I’ve never had an issue with loneliness. I love solitary time too and don’t feel any significant resistance towards being alone. But I’ve spent most of my adult life in long-term relationships. I think one reason I’ve attracted partners pretty easily is that I just don’t feel needy in this area. I love being in a relationship, but I also love the experience of being on my own. I feel equally comfortable in both worlds.

I think this has been a key to new growth experiences. Don’t try to invite new experiences by resisting where you are. Try to love and appreciate your present reality as well as what you’d like to invite next. Send appreciation in all directions.

That was also a big part of shifting from scarcity to abundance. I wasted so much energy on the frustration of resisting scarcity when I was in my 20s. When I finally let go and surrendered to it – and actually welcomed it into my life as if I’d always be in scarcity till I died – that’s when the floodgates of abundance opened up. Learning to appreciate scarcity was a powerful lesson.

Freedom & Creativity

I also really enjoy my freedom. I haven’t had a job or a boss in 30+ years, so I’ve been on an independent entrepreneurial path since the early 1990s. It was rough during the first several years, but I eventually figured it out.

I don’t normally think of myself as an entrepreneur or business owner though. Those frames feel a bit too dull and mental to me. On the inside I don’t really fuss about my identity.

I love to create all sorts of things, so most days I’m thinking about what I’m creating. I could label myself as a creator, but that feels a bit off too. I’m not particularly concerned with how I’m labeled by myself or others. I’m much more in tune with whatever I’m engaging with in the moment. In terms of my identity, it feels more like water or wind – very flexible and adapting to wherever it goes.

The term “content creator” turns my stomach a bit, like it’s trying to smoosh something beautifully expansive into a small-minded box. It’s like putting a bird in a cage.

For me creativity and freedom are the Wonder Twins of my life. I see both as being essential for my long-term happiness and fulfillment. These are gifts from reality, but they must be claimed and defended.

Some people would say that they need freedom in order to create. I don’t think like that. It’s too limiting, and it points back to neediness, which is something I always want to bounce away from.

I regard freedom as something I can and must create. Freedom is a choice. But freedom without creativity is unsustainable, boring, and meaningless. I feel that I’ve invested a lot in creating freedom and freeing myself to create. On the inside it feels wonderful to be in a place where I can create, share, and express so much. This includes maintaining the freedom to keep creating without interference.

I don’t just think of creativity as doing creative work like writing articles, making courses, or doing workshops. I think of creativity as being the core essence of conscious living. That includes creating freedom, creating a life I love, and co-creating experiences with the right people.

Curiosity

On the inside I’m incredibly curious. I love to learn, grow, explore, and discover. I’m always finding something interesting to delve into. I love the process of discovering what the interior perspective of an experience is like. I’m very open to new experiences, especially experiences that can upgrade my thinking and understanding of life and reality.

Even when I’m not actively writing about it, I’m often doing some kind of personal growth experiment. Or I’m studying and exploring something new. Frequently I’m exploring multiple overlapping curiosities.

I’m currently doing a new dietary experiment involving testing a different macro balance (carbs, fat, protein). My goal is to aim for a caloric distribution of 70% carbs (or more), 20% fat (or less), and 10% protein (or less). This is similar to the 80/10/10 diet I did in January 2008 but with higher fat. It’s going very well so far.

I also recently researched acoustic panels, and this week I’ve been installing them in my home office. I also have some panels to install in my studio and a few in the living room. This will help to improve the audio quality on some recordings, and it will make my studio look nicer since I can finally remove the old sound blankets. I like the look of the panels too. Rachelle helped me pick the colors, and we spent a lot of time working on this together.

Last month I invested in some plumbing upgrades, hiring a plumber to install a new tankless water heater, water softener, and whole house water filtration system. I also did a plant medicine journey with some friends.

Last year around this time, I was exploring home theater systems and invested in a major upgrade there. That was one of my favorite explorations because it totally transformed the experience of watching movies and shows with Rachelle, especially action movies. That gave me even more to appreciate.

One of my biggest challenges is that I can get too curious and open too many new doors simultaneously. I love saying yes to new experiences and explorations, but I also have to practice saying no a lot to avoid overextending myself.

Order

On the inside, my mind feels very sharp and orderly. I’m usually very adept at focusing and directing my mind to advance the projects that I want to work on.

I have many dozens of projects mapped out with action steps (I currently use the Things app for this). Realistically it may take me years to complete all the projects I’ve already identified. Week by week I keep chipping away at them.

I also maintain a quarterly completion log, whereby I document what I’ve gotten done or experienced each calendar quarter. I’ve been doing this for about 5 years consistently, and it’s really helpful for progress visibility. I can see where I moved projects across the finish line. Sometimes I may feel like I didn’t get as much done as I would have liked, but when I review those quarterly logs, I’m usually impressed with how much I actually finished.

My life is typically a mix of pre-planned work plus spontaneous action. I’ve gotten pretty good at taking action both inspirationally and methodically. I love having the flexibility to choose which tasks and projects I’ll work on each day without prescheduling them. Most days my calendar is blank. But I also keep track of many competing priorities to weave in when the timing is right.

I like keeping my physical environment neat and tidy. When clutter piles up, it’s very temporary. I feel a strong desire to keep moving towards greater order. When items and tasks are in order, it frees my mind to think more clearly, to be more creative, and to take more action. I think one reason that I embrace order is that disorder is very distracting for me.

Optimism

I don’t get depressed. Simply never. My mind stays focused on the positive – on inspiring ideas, engaging people, action steps, interesting projects, creative explorations, etc.

I used to get depressed sometimes when I was younger, but I put a stop to that.

I decided a long time ago that depression is a stupid waste of life and that it was critical to defend against the slime pit of depression, self-doubt, and other downer modes of experience. Otherwise it becomes a trap where one can lose years of precious life. I regard depression as a nasty neural pattern – a mental and emotional virus – so I did what was necessary to ensure that my mind just doesn’t go there anymore. I felt that was one of the early personal development battles where I had to win a decisive victory. So this is a virus to which I’ve built a very strong immunity.

There were lots of pieces to this – cleaning up my diet (zero animal products); regular exercise that I enjoy; dropping misaligned people; committing to meaningful and fulfilling creative work; saying no to partial matches; and creating a life rich in intimacy, warmth, and affection.

I really appreciate my past self for putting so much effort into upgrading his mindset and heartset. That was a real challenge for him, but he did a fabulous job of solving those problems one by one. He gifted me with sustainably constructive thoughts and feelings. That’s a huge gift since I no longer feel like I have to fight with myself internally. My mind and emotions feel very harmonious.

Thoughtfulness

I like to be very thoughtful and deliberate in making decisions, especially important ones. I use many tools and processes to work through decisions methodically. For instance, when designing a new course, I follow a step-by-step design template that I’ve developed over the years. It’s one of the bonuses in the Amplify course.

To really know that I can complete a project, especially a big one, I have to reach a point of strong commitment. When I was younger, I left too many creative projects unfinished because I started them impulsively, and I hadn’t put the right level of thought into them up front. Then I’d struggle partway through with thoughts like, What’s the point of finishing this? Or something else would distract me, and I’d lose focus on the previous project.

Today I’m way better at finishing projects. I look at them carefully and analyze them from different angles, often spending weeks or months in the pre-commitment phase. Some projects don’t converge on commitment, but when I’m able to commit, I’m really good at following through all the way to the end.

What this does for my inner experience is that I have super strong creative trust. I know what it takes to complete a sizable creative project. I know how to get myself to the point of commitment, and I’m able to trust myself to follow through and finish. I also know how to recognize when the alignment isn’t there yet, and I shouldn’t commit myself.

It took time to discover the right process for me such that I could make wise decisions intelligently while also avoiding analysis paralysis. Having a process that converges really helps.

Relationships

Internally I think about almost all aspects of life through the lens of relationships. This includes people, tasks, projects, goals, possessions, food, activities, locations, and more.

Instead of thinking so objectively about different aspects of life, I usually favor subjective thinking. I imagine how different decisions will affect my inner experience. I think more about the dynamic flow of events than about the static nature of situations.

You could say that I think in terms of verbs more than nouns. Where is the energy flowing? How is it changing? How do I want to engage with these energy patterns?

When I’m considering a new creative project, I pay a lot of attention to how I’m going to relate to that project while I’m working on it. I don’t just think about the end goal or result. At least 80% of my thinking is focused on what the journey will be like (probably more like 90%+). I want to make that journey beautiful and engaging.

I’ve invested a lot of thought and energy into creating a beautiful and harmonious relationship with my work and life. This includes how I relate to the people who engage with my work.

What I love about this relationship model of thinking about life is that it helped me get really honest with myself. It encourages me to be more forthright about expressing how I really think and feel. Can I share that I’d love to see Vladimir Putin slowly fed feet-first into a wood chipper, while being given frequent espresso breaks along the way? That’s actually one of my intentions.

Defending Against Misalignments

Some of my energy flows into defensive activities, which is a part of my life that many people don’t see. I have standards for the people I want to engage with, and I’m not interested in lowering them to build a larger but misaligned audience.

That’s one reason I tell Trump supporters to begone. I have no interest in serving racist idiots and assholes. That isn’t political. It’s personal. I find such people utterly loathsome, and I want nothing to do with them. I don’t want to invest my energy in dealing with people who disgust me, so I choose not to deal with them. Moreover, I will continue to staunchly defend this community against them, especially Conscious Growth Club. Such idiocy has no place here.

I have to deal with occasional stalker-types as well, including people who clearly aren’t right in the head. That doesn’t get me down. I just see as it part of the experience of working in this field.

If I wanted to be a mental health professional who regularly engages with such people, I’d have chosen that as my career path. I realized a long time ago that I must carefully defend the path that resonates with me, and that requires being very firm in saying no to people and situations that I’m not willing to deal with. We don’t automatically get what we desire. We get what we’re willing to tolerate.

When people fall out of resonance with me, I prefer to just let them go. If someone violates my trust, I drop them from my life, and I really never let them back in because when I did so in the past, they always gave me cause to regret it. “Fool me once” is enough for me. There are so many interesting people to interact with in this life that it seems foolhardy to bother dealing with misaligned scraps. I now realize just how needy and desperate that is. That said, I very easily forgive people and have no interest in holding grudges, but when I close the door on someone, it’s really closed. From my own perspective, I see this as returning their energy back to the Simulator, where it can be recycled. This keeps my energy from getting stuck where it doesn’t want to be stuck.

I’m committed to flowing my energy where it wants to go and engaging with people who want to explore and engage with me in a mutually supportive way. That takes a certain degree of alignment and compatibility. It’s exquisitely joyful and rewarding to serve people who meet that standard. And it’s disappointing at the very least to attempt this with people who don’t.

Some people and experiences are like the perfect puzzle pieces that interlock with us in just the right ways. Even when our interactions are temporary, that kind of alignment is beautiful to behold. In order to invite more of this, I found it crucial to say a hard and definitive no to the misaligned. Otherwise partial matches and mismatches will block so much beauty, wonder, and delight from flowing through.

High-Trust Relationships & Audience Engagement

Years ago I went through the experience of building up lots of followers on social media and being very active on those services daily. It can feel fun and stimulating having so much attention, especially if you enjoy being in the limelight. I also found those interactions too random and chaotic, and I was glad to delete Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram and tighten up my social focus. Seeing what’s been happening on Twitter these days makes me even more grateful to have dumped it in 2014.

After that I went through a process of focusing more on audience alignment than on audience size. That shrunk my overall audience but also made me feel happier and more in tune with my work. It helped me go much deeper into explorations that inspire me and others – less blogging but more courses, workshops, and of course CGC itself. It’s like we become more courageous, more heart-centered, and more genuine when we’re surrounded by the right people.

I’ve gotten used to having an audience for my work since that’s been my daily reality for decades, all the way back to my computer games business. The people I serve are in my mind each day, and I interact with them every day in some way – through email, the CGC forums, Zoom calls, blogging, videos, in person, etc.

To me this doesn’t feel like a temporary situation. It feels permanent, at least as far as my lifespan is concerned. There are people in my audience in their 30s now who started reading my blog when they were teenagers. I know this because many of them have told me so. I expect that even decades from now, many of the same people who are engaging with my work today will still be engaging with it or with the community around this work.

That really makes me think about how to keep serving the people in this community for the long term. I know that the specific people in this community will fluctuate, but there’s clearly a core base of people that feel a sense of commitment and resonance, so I think we’ll be in each other’s lives for a long time to come.

I love engaging with people on the basis of mutual appreciation. I like having an audience that appreciates me and the work and I do, and I love engaging with people that I appreciate too. This is something I never take for granted. It’s something I always want to keep investing in.

High-trust relationships are very important to me. Trust empowers us to explore so much more together. That’s another reason that certain people have no place in this community. We can’t build high-trust relationships with people who serve as enablers of lying and deceit.

Caring

I think one reason I’ve enduring so long in this field is that I genuinely care about the people in this community. That’s an aspect of my interior perspective that I think a lot of people don’t see. Of all the items I’m sharing here, I’d say that the #1 insight I’d love people to know is that I really do care. I want to see the people in this community thrive and enjoy rich and fulfilling lives. Just writing this part makes me teary-eyed.

I work hard at figuring out how to help people grow and how to keep serving them year after year. For me this is a lifelong investment, and I want to keep getting better at it. Sharing ideas is just one piece to the puzzle. Another piece is having a stable community where people can invest in each other (Conscious Growth Club). And yet another piece is continuing to listen for where the latest needs, desires, and growth opportunities are.

The road ahead is going to bring so many fresh challenges and opportunities. I want to help the people in this community intelligently navigate those experiences. I love the challenge of playing that role and figuring out where I can be of service.

A big part of my motivation comes from the people I serve. I don’t write just to write. I always write for people. I create courses for people. I develop workshops for people. I coach people. And it’s not for people in general but specifically for the people in this community – past, present, and future.

Internally I often feel that it’s other people’s energies and intentions that summon me to do the work I do. Somehow they energetically invite me to help them. So I never feel like I’m writing or creating into an empty void. I always feel like I’m co-creating with the energy that invited me to the dance.

I also see an important connection between caring and defense. In order to feel safe expressing caring and building high-trust relationships, I think it’s critical to defend against the opposite. I don’t trust blindly. I test for trust, and when I see it, I keep investing. But when people abuse my trust, they get the sword and shield.

Support & Cooperation

Internally I feel very creatively supported, and I have a very cooperative relationship with life. Life has given me everything I need to do my best creative work. I wanted to be of service to people, and life said a big yes to that in response.

When I was younger, I tried to do a lot of work under pressure, especially financial pressure and time pressure. There was this sense of always trying to scramble to get enough done to make ends meet. That wasn’t a situation where I could do my best creative work.

Back then my mindset and heartset were more competitive than cooperative. I put too much attention on my individual success and accomplishments, even though that just created more stress and pressure for me. I tried to motivate myself with misaligned forms of motivation. I focused too much on end results, and I leaned too heavily on courage and discipline to try to push through difficulties. I wish I had known back then how much more effective it is to focus on the journey and on cultivating a beautiful relationship with it.

Today my life feels very much the opposite of stressful. It’s fun and engaging, but it’s also peaceful and relaxing when I want it to be. Life feels very spacious, welcoming, and encouraging.

I love that I get to spend so much time exploring the richness of life, relationships, creativity, and fresh possibilities. I feel very in tune with the journey I’m on, and I delight in how it’s unfolding each day.

This isn’t an exhaustive list, but hopefully you found some value in one or more of these insights that may be useful to you in your own life or work.

Happy New Year! 🥳 🎉

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Frequencies of Experience

I often think of life as a summation of different experiential frequencies, much like different musical instruments can combine to create a song. Some frequencies combine harmoniously while others would sound discordant if you tried to merge them.

What I find most interesting about this model is that it helps me discover when some frequencies are holding me back from having new experiences. I cannot always invite new frequencies into my life when pre-existing frequencies are anchoring me to a different range.

Usually I must detach myself – or at least loosen my grip – from some anchor frequencies, so I can float freely into the range of new experiences. Otherwise I’ll never have the opportunity to experience those new frequencies fully while I’m still shackled to the old ones.

If you try to stuff more and more tracks into a song without removing some old ones, you may end up with noise, not music. When the tracks play together, their frequencies interact, and the more tracks you add, the more complex the balancing act becomes.

In your own life, now and then you’ll need to do some frequency decluttering if you want to progress to new experiences.

Anchor Frequencies

When you want to flow into a new zone of experience, such as by pursuing and achieving an interesting goal, think about the old anchor frequencies that might interfere, and see if you can loosen your grip on them.

Do you have any anchor frequencies that would make you feel some resistance to your new path? Any worries about what other people would think? Any unwillingness to grow beyond your comfort zone? Any old habits you’d rather not release?

Whatever anchor issues you identify, it’s wise to start working on those now, mentally and emotionally. It’s important to start changing your relationship with the old frequencies, so you can create space to harmonize with new frequencies. Many people do a piss-poor job of this, which is why they remain stuck. They may be willing to embrace the new, but they’re not committed to relinquishing the old.

For example, if you’re contemplating a career change, start thinking about how you’ll say goodbye to the old career and how you’d like to frame those memories. Begin to align yourself with the goodbye experience before you leave.

When I moved on from game development and got into personal development in 2004, I framed my 10 years of professional game development as a nice phase of learning and growth but not one that I had to cling to for the rest of my life. I approached the transition like a graduation. This included declaring even unfinished projects over and done with. That wasn’t easy, but I knew I had to let go of the old, so I could fully embrace and explore the new.

This wasn’t a fast process, but before I could really focus on a career change, I had to spend months winding down my relationship with game development work.

Some of those old frequencies faded from my life. I stopped hosting a popular indie game developer forum and handed it off to some friends to keep it going. I stopped working on new games. I stopped doing any new marketing for my games. I let people know that I was closing up shop. I also had to mentally and emotionally let go of a lot of future plans and expectations along the old path.

Any anchor frequencies that might have kept me stuck in the old world had to be surrendered.

Crossover Frequencies

Some frequencies, however, were flexible enough to transition with me. I was able to bring some productivity habits along. I could still do some coding now and then. I brought my creativity, playfulness, community-building skills, entrepreneurial spirit, and explorer’s mindset into the new career.

Those compatible crossover frequencies served me well. They helped me retain some sense of stability while so much else in my life felt new and different. In the same year I started my blog, I also moved to a new city (from L.A. to Las Vegas) and joined Toastmasters to get into speaking. I had a new home, a new social circle, and a new business all in the same year – and a new child the year before.

One crossover frequency that I especially found helpful was growth. This is one of the ultimate crossover frequencies because we can always invest in learning and growth, regardless of how many transitions we go through. So you can also think about anchoring yourself to flexible frequencies – like growth – so you don’t feel so unhinged every time you go through an interesting transition.

Transitioning

When you’re facing a transition in life, see if you can identify some of your anchor frequencies and your crossover frequencies. Which aspects of your life will need to be released? Which can come along for the ride?

If you really look into this carefully, you may find some surprises. You’ll probably recognize some frequencies of experience that you didn’t realize were choices. You may spot areas where you’ve been clingy with anchor frequencies, but you didn’t recognize them as such. And you’ll see where you’ve gotten stuck when trying to transition.

When I wanted to transition from a scarcity experience with money to a more abundant relationship with money, I noticed that I was relating to money in a way that wouldn’t make sense on the abundance side. I had some habitual ways of interfacing with money that were serving as anchor frequencies and keeping me from progressing.

I might describe some of these anchor frequencies as stress and worry. Others involved making money such a high priority – giving so much thought to bills and rent each month. I thought about money pretty much every day. Another issue was focusing so much on my desire for more money. Would I be doing that if I were already in the abundance zone? Nope.

I realized that if I wanted to transition to a more abundant relationship with money, I wasn’t going to relate to it with frequencies like stress, worry, or intense desire. In fact, I realized that many days I wouldn’t even think about money. It would recede more into the background of my life, and it wouldn’t be such a foreground concern. Money would be like a reliable friend, and I’d also have a lot of fun with it – earning it and spending it. I’d have a chill, relaxed, and playful relationship with it. But worry about it, stress over it, or obsess over it? Nah… those were the old anchor frequencies that kept me in scarcity, so I had to let them go.

When I recognized that certain habits of thought and emotion were acting as anchors to scarcity, I realized that I had a choice to make. I had to put a stop to stressing, worrying, and over-thinking about money. I actually worked through the logic of that. Did those old frequencies help? Did they actually create more money? Were they effective? Reliable and consistent? Ha… nope.

These old frequencies sometimes got me to scramble to pull some extra resources together at the last minute, but that was an endless treadmill. There was no way that this way of thinking would lead to greater abundance. It was a foolish approach with no hope of success. Even if I did earn more money, I’d just have more to stress and obsess over, which seemed dreadful.

Once I understood the logic, I asked myself if I wanted to align with my best thinking or if I wanted to keep being illogical and foolish. I made a commitment to stop fretting and worrying about money, and I’ve done a solid job of honoring that commitment ever since. I do slip a little bit now and then, but barely. I’ve gotten really good at pulling my mind away from that old frequency zone and keeping it in the zone of abundance-aligned frequencies.

Abundance-Aligned Frequencies

What are some of the abundance-aligned frequencies then?

One of my favorites is service. Instead of fussing over my own sniveling problems, I think about what I can do that other people would appreciate. In my games business, I shifted my focus to creating experiences for people. That’s still a big part of how I think about my life and business today. I like crafting and delivering interesting experiences that people can appreciate – especially unique experiences they may not encounter elsewhere. I really resonate with the frequency range of investing in growth-oriented people. That connects to even more frequencies that I like, such as caring, mutual support, and co-creation. This range gets me taking a lot of action.

Can I share a simple observation with you? When I see people who are stuck in scarcity, they’re almost always expending way more thought and emotion in dealing with their own personal or family problems than they invest in thinking about serving other people in the world. They anchor their focus inward instead of outward. Is it any wonder that they’re anchoring themselves to scarcity frequencies? So don’t hide. Get out there and engage with the world.

Another favorite is creativity. I love, love, love the frequency zone of creative projects. This feels like a solid home base for me. I’ve created millions of words of published material, and I never get writer’s block. I know that I can always create, and many years of feedback tells me that there are always people who will appreciate these creations. I’ve been a professional creator of some form or another for about 30 years now, and I expect that to continue. Note that this is also a frequency range where lots of action happens.

Also note that actually creating is NOT the same frequency zone as thinking about creating, typing up to-do lists, or otherwise procrastinating on creating. I spend WAY more time writing and publishing than I spend thinking about writing or reading about writing. Some planning is good if it helps you get organized, but is your planning driving projects through to completion? How much of your creative work is getting into people’s hands? Appreciation and abundance are very compatible frequency zones, very often arising together.

Other favorites are exploration, playfulness, and fun. I’m one of the most fun-loving adults that I know, and so is Rachelle. Do you know any other couples who spent 30 days in a row going to Disneyland? We enjoyed every day of that experience. I love being married to a woman who makes me laugh so much, and I love to make her laugh as well. Living with her is immensely entertaining. Even when she’s not trying to be entertaining, she just is.

People who remain stuck in scarcity are so ridiculously tolerant of their old anchor frequencies. They remain clingy with frequencies that clearly aren’t compatible with abundance. Abundance-aligned people have decided not to be so tolerant of those incompatibilities.

Investment & Surrender

One of the most critical self-development concepts to grasp is that where you invest your energy is a choice. You don’t have to remain loyal to old anchor frequencies. You have the option of surrendering those old frequencies and moving into a new range.

To shift your frequencies often requires a real commitment. Don’t even think about trying to half-ass it.

I don’t see any way I could have flowed into such an abundant relationship with life if I was willing to tolerate a relationship with ongoing worry, stress, and obsessive thinking about money.

How do you really surrender the old frequencies that no longer serve you? You reframe them as something that you’ll never want to revisit.

I reframed my old frequencies as stupid, idiotic, dumb, pointless, moronic, foolish, and utterly ineffective. It was illogical through and through to align with those old frequencies. They don’t work. They never worked! Only a great fool would cling to them. Do I want to be a great fool? No, I don’t!

Whenever my mind catches itself backsliding, it generates a huge load of warning signals that prevents it from staying there. It’s like noticing a skull and crossbones on a bottle of poison that you’re about to drink. This makes the whole brain light up with a super strong, “HELL NO!” signal.

I recommend that you do something similar. Stop trying to have a cozy relationship with anchor frequencies that are keeping you stuck. Break up with them instead. And I mean really break up. Dump them for good. Kick them to the curb. Make a “never again” resolution not to engage with them.

Yes, you may slip now and then. Slipping is to be expected, but when you slip, don’t fall. Catch yourself. Remind yourself of your best reframes for the old frequencies. Tell yourself which frequencies you want to engage with instead. Work through the logic of how you’re going to relate to those old ranges henceforth. And then hold yourself to that logic. Remind yourself to honor your best thinking.

Your thoughts and feelings exist in certain frequency ranges. If you want to invite new experiences and results into your life, you almost certainly need to adjust your thoughts and feelings too. While it’s nice to imagine what you’re new reality will be like, it’s even more important to start boxing out your old reality by cordoning off the old anchor frequencies. Remove the old ropes that kept you docked, so you can set sail and float over to new destinations.

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How to Relate to People With Low Truth Alignment

The first chapter of my book Personal Development for Smart People is called “Truth” because truth alignment is one of the fundamental principles of personal growth. In order to grow intelligently, we must face and accept reality in as many areas of life as we can. This often involves confronting and dealing with unpleasant truths that we’ve been avoiding for some time.

If we don’t get aligned with truth, we slide into falsehoods and denial, which can slow us down tremendously. Have you seen the lack of truth alignment playing out in the world recently? It’s hard not to notice it these days.

When we invite, face, and accept more truth alignment into our lives, we may feel tense, anxious, or resistant at first, but it can lead to a tremendous new flow of energy in a fresh direction when we finally surrender to reality. We so often see this when someone experiences a powerful wake-up call regarding their health, family, relationships, career path, finances, life purpose, etc.

I’ve often found it to be a powerful intention to say: Show me the truth. Show me what I’m not seeing. If the words can be spoken with genuine desire, this can really get some stuck energy flowing again; however, it may not be easy to face and deal with what comes up.

In this article though, I want to address a specific concern that many people have, which is how to deal with other people’s lack of truth alignment.

What do you do when friends, relatives, or co-workers succumb to conspiracy theories and start spewing out falsehoods?

What if someone you know is in deep denial about certain issues but doesn’t seem interested in hearing any honest communication about it?

What about people who wrap falsehoods into their beliefs and still expect to be treated with respect?

The Harmony Approach

A common solution is to try to go for harmony. In principle this is good, but in practice people tend to mistake something else for harmony. It’s like watching someone do a heavy weight training exercise with terrible form, and you know that in the long run, they’re probably going to hurt themselves.

Genuine harmony is an aspect of oneness. Oneness is the combination of truth and love, both of which are fundamental principles that help us move towards growth. For harmony to be real, it must be truth aligned. Without truth alignment you can’t experience harmony. You will get some version of discordance instead.

If you ever find yourself pursuing harmony at the expense of truth, realize that you’re not going to experience harmony. You will experience something else – most likely some form of tolerance rooted in denial. Without some solid truth alignment, you’ll be in the land of pretend, and that isn’t actually going to help you or anyone else grow. At best it will perpetuate stagnation.

The pathway to real harmony is through the truth. This pathway may seem utterly chaotic at first, but the chaos isn’t caused by the truth. The truth just is. The chaos is basically the falsehood and denial doing what they do best – resisting the truth. So let them bitch and moan, and stay aligned with truth anyway. Real harmony lies beyond this point.

Does it really serve our best interests if we try to bury the truth and pretend that everything is okay when we have some serious disagreements? This isn’t truth alignment – it’s confrontation avoidance.

Aligning With the Truth

Getting yourself aligned with truth is a good first step.

If you have a disagreement with someone, can you delve into the facts and details and find out what’s actually going on? For instance, if someone is delving into conspiracy websites, you can look into fact-checking sources and see if those sites are actually truth aligned or not. You can research the background of those sites and see what you discover.

You can also consider what you know about the person who’s succumbing to these falsehoods. Are they lonely? Feeling disconnected? Seeking a new peer group? What are their emotional reasons for going down that path? Is there some secondary gain in it for them? Can you get some sense of what may be driving them?

For instance, one friend started sending me conspiracy articles that apparently discredit COVID vaccines. However, when I looked into the sites he shared, they had ties to the Kremlin, so they’re basically political tools used to cause disruption. Such sites can be very effective at this, but they aren’t trustworthy sources of vaccine info, and some will even post false charts and graphs of fake research info. Of course I shared this with my friend to let him know that he was essentially a pawn being used in this political game. How he processes that info is up to him, but his actions also invite me to update my opinion of him. I regard him as less trustworthy, and I’ll be more suspicious of info he shares with me – not because of his intentions but because of his lack of fact-checking skills and his vulnerability to accepting erroneous info as true.

Now I would agree that we can’t have perfect information, and everything we learn through a screen must be considered suspect. But I also think we can leverage reasoning and some understanding of human nature and basic fact-checking and credibility assessment of sources to at least lean towards better truth alignment. We don’t have to develop clingy fixed beliefs that could be wrong, but we can assess likelihoods and weigh the preponderance of evidence.

I think most of the time, we are too gullible when we ought to be more curious and suspicious. Conspiracy theorists may seem suspicious or jaded, but they’re actually among the most gullible of all since they’ll swallow falsehoods from the most unreliable and discredited sources. IMO such people aren’t nearly suspicious enough. It’s rather silly that they’ll reject mainstream sources and then flock to even less credible outlets for information. Or they’ll switch to unreliable and untrustworthy mainstream sources, such as Fox News, which is laughable in terms of truth alignment but also quite sad in terms of how it affects people and society.

A key area of truth alignment for yourself is accepting when the people in your life are seriously lacking in truth alignment. With so many millions of people claiming to believe in falsehoods that have been abundantly debunked and discredited, it’s likely that you’ve had to deal with such people too.

For instance, who do you know that holds goofy religious beliefs that aren’t actually true? Do you accept the truth that someone you know has been duped into such falsehoods? Or do you still pretend that you’re okay with it, such as by saying, “Well, they’re a good person, but…”? Do you seek a false form of harmony that wants to hide from the truth?

The Emotionality of Truth Alignment

Getting aligned with truth can be surprisingly emotional. You may feel all sorts of intense emotions such as anger, disappointment, betrayal, resentment, frustration, anxiety, and more.

Let yourself feel those feelings. It’s wise to let them flow, so you can process them. Those feelings represent your inner truth. Let it be true that you feel what you feel.

When you see a friend or relative go down the conspiracy rabbit hole, let yourself feel the disappointment and worry.

When you see the U.S. Supreme Court make another ridiculous ruling based on a skewed notion of reality, let yourself feel pissed off about it.

When you see Sergey Lavrov say pretty much anything, let the vomit flow up your esophagus. It’s normal.

Just don’t stop there. Ask your feelings what they’re trying to communicate. The message isn’t just raw emotion. There’s a purposeful invitation behind those feelings. What truths are those feelings inviting you to discover?

I often like to journal about my feelings to ask them what their honest message is. This is a great way to become more truth aligned on the inside. Once I receive and acknowledge the message, the feelings almost always grow milder, or they stop being noticeable after a while.

Driving Towards Resolution

One reason that other people’s lack of truth alignment tugs at our attention is because it’s an invitation to get ourselves back into the flow of growth and change.

When we obsess over some else’s misalignments, we’re using a common delay tactic. Other people will present an endless stream of issues that we can call out as problematic, and it’s fine to do that now and then, but if we overdo it, this can divert our attention away from looking more closely at our own truth alignment issues.

When we see other people as blind, deluded, or misguided, we can get hung up on objections to their words and behaviors without actually resolving our thoughts and feelings about them. It’s fine to go through those phases, but we don’t want to remain stuck there.

If you object to what other people are thinking or saying, don’t stop there. Do your best to accept that they really are doing that, and then take the time to process and decide how you’re going to deal with them. How will their lack of truth alignment affect your relationship going forward? What meaning will you assign to their behaviors? How will you re-classify these people within your internal relationship matrix?

If you resolve your thoughts and feelings about such people to your own satisfaction, your mind can settle down, and you’ll no longer need to obsess about such people. This will free up more energy to pursue your own path of growth, which may involve facing your own difficult truths.

Beware the secondary gain that comes from obsessing over other people’s problems. If this is a way to let yourself off the hook from facing your own issues, it’s best to remove that incentive for using this as a delay tactic. I find that a good way to avoid the secondary gain issues is to give myself full permission to consciously put the brakes on my own growth when I want a break. Let it be perfectly okay to pause or slow down without having to justify the decision. If I can pause whenever I want – guilt-free – I don’t need to obsess over other people’s issues to force myself to go slower.

If you currently have a crushing relationship with someone else’s lack of truth alignment, invite the truth to really sink in. Do your best to fully accept what you see. Then ask: Now that I see this and can no longer deny it, what am I going to do about it? Who do I want to be in this situation?

One way to frame this is to consider that reality is testing you. What must you do to pass the test?

You’ll remain stuck if you don’t pass the test in a way that satisfies you.

Generalizing Your Answers

A good way to figure out how to resolve a situation with someone – at least in your own mind – is to state the issue more generally and then solve the general version of the problem. This won’t rid your social life of problems, but it will enable you to graduate to different classes of problems, so you don’t have to keep dealing with the same types of issues over and over.

For instance, if someone you know is spouting COVID conspiracy nonsense, you could ask yourself questions like these:

  • How would I like to relate to someone who absorbs and reiterates disinformation?
  • How shall I respond when someone speaks falsehoods in my presence?
  • What aspects of my character would I most like to access in such situations?
  • How do I intend to relate to people who present serious truth alignment issues?

I cannot give you these answers, but I can encourage you to ponder these questions intelligently and come up with your own answers. Then your next challenge is to get yourself to act in alignment with your best answers.

When I have time for it and if the relationship seems investment-worthy, I like to challenge and invite people who aren’t truth aligned to question what they think they know. Internally I feel some compassion for how they’ve been led astray, especially due to how much I felt led astray after being spoon-fed years of religious falsehoods.

I’ve noticed that even when I do this in a joking way, many people appreciate the wake-up call – when they’re ready for that kind of experience. I’ve received many cards, letters, emails, and in-person thank-you’s over the years from people who began facing unpleasant truths that they initially didn’t want to face, after they read some articles on my website. When they finally accepted the truth and began acting in alignment with it, they embarked upon some tremendous journeys of growth. A common example was when people realized that their uninspired job was a dead end, and they sought to explore more purposeful and rewarding work. Of course I’ve also received plenty of spiteful messages from people who initially dislike such invitations, but I take that in stride. After all, they chose to come here and read about it, and my article titles are usually straightforward and descriptive.

Do You Want Loyalty or Honesty?

Many people put their relationships ahead of truth. They value loyalty to certain people or groups above other values. I have been such a person as well, and I eventually felt disgusted with that aspect of my personality and worked on changing it. That kind of loyalty almost landed me in prison for a while, so I see it as immensely misguided. I learned some hard lessons that landed me squarely on the side of favoring truth alignment over loyalty to any particular individuals or groups. This has led me down some interesting and rewarding paths.

If you prefer to favor loyalty over truth (which ought to be the tagline for the U.S. Republican party these days), I invite you to carefully consider why you’re doing that. There are books like How to Win Friends and Influence People that will steer you away from truth alignment in order to manifest some extra social gains. If you find this approach appealing, test it for yourself. Personally I find it dreadful because it fills my social circle with partial matches. I very much prefer to get aligned with truth, and then people can love me or hate me on that basis.

What do you want from other people? Do you prefer loyalty or honesty?

If you want people to be loyal to you, even when they have to pretend that they respect you, you may indeed attract that experience. But will that really satisfy you? Do you want your social relationships to be based on secondary gain, full of people who pretend to see you a certain way so they can gain some benefits from you? Blech!

A social circle that values honesty above loyalty may seem more difficult at first, but you’ll get to experience a lot more growth on this path. This probably won’t be a stable circle in the traditional sense though. You’ll likely see people entering and exiting your life in a continuous flow, each person inviting you to see different truths. And even if you spend extended periods alone, that can be a beauty phase as well when you’re exploring deeper truths that matter to you.

There’s something about truth alignment that provides a much deeper level of comfort and security than any amount of loyalty to individuals can offer.

I find that the root of this decision comes down to trusting life. The more I can trust life, the more I can accept the flow of relationships and how they invite me to see and experience different truths. This helps me avoid getting clingy with misaligned relationships.

When someone staunchly opposes truth alignment, I tend to see it as a sign that it’s time to let that relationship fade, so a fresh connection can flow into my life. I’ve been trapped plenty of times when I did the opposite and favored loyalty to an individual or group. Now I realize that it’s totally normal for people to flow towards us or away from us, based on how we’re able to help each other grow in each moment.

Optimism

Despite how wacky and misaligned the world can seem at times, I remain staunchly optimistic. One reason is that I always see open pathways to greater truth alignment. Even when denial and falsehood seem rampant and there are organizations like Fox News spewing out falsehoods that create huge social ramifications, I also know that they have a limited lifespan. Sooner or later people find falsehood and denial deeply unsatisfying. It runs people in circles – or backwards – and doesn’t create a meaningful sense of progress. There’s always the invitation to get off that treadmill and to get back on a path of truth seeking.

So I tend to view such issues, even when they have massive social impacts, as a normal part of the human experience. I’ve circled around in that space quite a lot, and I do see that it has the value of putting the brakes on our growth (even if as I mentioned, we can simply pause consciously whenever we want). The benefit of falsehood is that it can stabilize reality in a more fixed position, so we can spend more time processing certain experiences before we progress to something new.

Depending on how you relate to other people who are mired in denial, you can actually pause your own progress, or you can let them experience what they’re experiencing and then go pursue something different for yourself.

For example, consider the major rollback of abortion rights in the USA. You could frame this as something like: Oh great… this is so backwards. Now we have to re-defend and re-litigate a social right that was already resolved. This is so stupid. Fuck you, SCOTUS!

On the other hand, you could also say: Okay, some people must really want to live in The Handmaid’s Tale universe. They want to control women’s bodies, and indeed even many women are even wanting to co-create that experience. States that ban abortion will predictably see an increase in many social problems in the decades ahead, including crime, since that’s statistically predictable where abortion has been banned elsewhere. If that’s what they desire, I can allow them to have this experience. It’s going to mean there’s a wider gap in the experiences of red versus blue states. It’s going to piss off a lot of people and create harsh consequences for many, including death and poverty, and there will be a lot of activism against this direction too.

Respect

What does it means to respect someone? Can you respect someone who strays far away from truth alignment?

You may find that it’s hard to respect someone when they start spewing out falsehoods. You may feel that respect means to regard someone as intelligent or reasonable, and it’s too much to ask to frame their behavior as intelligent in such cases. You may even think something like: Okay, this person has a defective brain.

A broader version of respect is to allow space for people to have a wide variety of experiences because that’s how we learn and grow, both individually and collectively. I like to see this as a greater form of truth alignment. On one level I may think that someone is being downright idiotic, and on that basis I cannot respect them as intelligent or reasonable. But on another level, I can also see that people are going out and having different experiences and learning and growing from them, and that is something I can respect.

For instance, if someone eats animal products, I can’t respect them as a compassionate or caring person since that wouldn’t make any sense if they’re relating to animals with violence or apathy. So I’m going to go ahead and file them in the “doesn’t care about the well-being of animals” section of my mind. But at the same time, I also recognize and accept that lots of people choose to explore a nonconsensual, entitlement-based relationship with animals’ bodies. They may even treat some animals as beloved pets (still property) while treating other animals as products where cruelty is just part of the business model they support.

I can respect that people are actively exploring this way of relating to animals, along with exploring the consequences of those choices, like much higher rates of lifestyle diseases like heart disease and cancer, harsher climate change impacts, etc. That aspect rings true because we’re all exploring different ways of relating to animals, just as we explore different ways of relating to each other. But I’m not going to succumb to the falsehood that such people actually care about animals’ well-being when their behavior towards animals is riddled with violence and abuse. So there’s no need for anyone in that space to maintain any pretense of caring about animals’ well-being because that’s meaningless if it isn’t backed up by action. But I can still relate to them – and respect them – on the basis that we’re all co-explorers here, each delving into different ways of relating to whatever we encounter.

One benefit of this way of respecting people is that you can also appreciate how they help you clarify what matters to you. Other people help you define what you don’t want to experience personally, and that helps you discover what you do desire. I appreciate that conspiracy theorists have done an excellent job of convincing me that I don’t want to join them in their conspiracies. 😉

I find that an interesting way to relate to people’s lack of truth alignment is to actually reframe it as a greater form of truth alignment that they’re pursuing. They’re seeking truth experientially. Even if I don’t choose to join them in that kind of experience, I can respect them for doing that. The explorer in me can still honor and salute the explorer in them.

I see exploration as one of the main reasons we’re all here. So even if someone is pursuing animal cruelty, misogyny, racism, or some other pursuit that I would vehemently reject exploring for myself, on some level I still appreciate what they’re doing for life. They’re still serving the expansion of what life is capable of. And I accept that life is capable of generating a wide range of experiences that do not personally appeal to me as an individual. That’s a simple truth that I feel it’s best to stay aligned with. If we try to dictate terms to life itself, life will surely overrule us.

This leads to the question: Do you respect what life is doing, in all its many manifestations?

Do you respect life for generating violence, lying, hatred, manipulation, etc? Are you able to give life – and especially humanity – space to explore this?

Can you accept that life is going to keep exploring these aspects with or without your permission?

Can you even accept that life’s explorations will sometimes have consequences for you and other people you know – and that sometimes you may dislike those consequences?

Forgiveness

One way to accept and respect what life is doing is to forgive its transgressions, just as you would hope that life forgives your own transgressions.

I have made plenty of nasty mistakes in life, including some really deplorable errors in judgment, and I appreciate that I wasn’t kicked off the planet. Somehow I’m still here… still breathing… still able to live life and express myself. I don’t take that for granted.

I like that life provides wiggle-room for making mistakes, including mistakes that may even cause consequences and problems for other people.

I too must deal with the consequences of other people’s decisions. I may really dislike some of the decisions made by other people in the world. Some of the choices people have made deeply disgust me. But on another level, I still respect and honor their freedom to make such choices, even when it causes problems for me and for future generations. I see it as a normal part of how life explores this reality.

It’s like playing a video game where someone takes you out with a headshot, and even though you’re dead, another part of you is saying, “Good shot. Well played.”

This doesn’t mean you can’t express what you want to express, including activism. You can still go explore what it’s like to rail against what you dislike. You can still explore what it’s like to inspire changes in the world. But can you accept that other aspects of life get a say as well, and some of those aspects may oppose you?

This can be a hard frame to reach for, especially when you’re in the thick of dealing with the consequences of other people’s choices. In those moments I like to remind myself of how forgiving life was with me when I screwed up. This helps me appreciate that I haven’t been spaced yet. And this in turn helps me choose not to space someone else and to let them remain in the game, even if I think they really deserve to be spaced. At the same time I may be yelling at them, I’m also thanking them for keeping the game interesting and stimulating – and for helping me clarify what kind of character I want to play while I’m here.

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