My First Two Magic Mushroom Journeys

At the end of our Denver trip for the Psychedelic Science 2023 conference (see my earlier full conference review if that interests you), I played a game at one of the afterparties and won a magic mushroom (shown below). It weighed about 3 grams. Magic mushrooms were decriminalized in Colorado last year, including for personal use and gifting but not for selling.

Shroom

Saturday Night

The afterparty only went till 1am, and it wasn’t the right setting for a deep mushroom journey. I thought about my intention for this little guy and decided that for my first experience, I just wanted to energetically shake hands with the mushroom space and not do anything too deep.

I’ve had psilocybin before during a journey last November with a group of friends, but it was in the form of chocolates mixed with ayahuasca, and we took a couple other substances as well for a layered effect, run by an experienced facilitator. So up to this point I hadn’t consumed magic mushrooms separately. I know I’ll have more opportunities to explore mushrooms, so I wanted to lean into it gently – not like my first psychedelic experience of doing ayahuasca ceremonies for four back-to-back nights in Costa Rica in 2019.

We only had two more nights in Denver before returning to Vegas, so I wanted to eat about half of the dried shroom one night and half the second night, as a way of leaning into it. I wanted to have a positive experience even if it would be fairly mild given the low dosage. I had done my homework first, so I had a relatively good sense of what range of effects to expect, or so I thought.

I decided to eat about a quarter of it first, roughly 0.75g, see if I noticed anything after an hour, and then have more if all seemed good, while still at the afterparty. I was surprised that it tasted good, almost like popcorn but with the texture of a dry cracker. I’d heard that some people didn’t like the taste of magic mushrooms, but that may depend on the variety. This one was pleasant enough that my taste buds would have had no complaints about eating more of them.

During that first hour I only noticed some mild giddiness, nothing special. So I ate another 0.75g. These weights are mainly guesses, but after eating the first piece, we found a scale at the afterparty, and I was able to weigh the remainder, which helped me estimate that the whole shroom must have been about 3g total.

In case you’re wondering, I did invite Rachelle to share it with me, but she passed. It wouldn’t have been a problem to procure plenty more shrooms at this party since there was a jar on a table filled with dried shrooms as well as magic mushroom chocolates (including some labeled vegan), which seemed to be free for the taking. Playing the game with the mushroom prize wasn’t really necessary – I just did it for fun. If I wanted a more intense experience by eating more shrooms, that would have been easily attained. However, I felt that splitting those 3g across two nights would be just perfect for the kind of intro to mushroom space that I was looking for, especially while traveling.

Shortly after I ate the second mushroom piece, we walked back to our hotel, which took about 30 minutes. I still didn’t notice a very strong effect other than feeling a bit happier. Rachelle said she could see a difference when she looked into my eyes though. I found it amusing when she kept staring at me to check. I had no trouble with balance or coordination while walking back.

We arrived at the hotel without incident, and now it was close to two hours since I ate the first piece. I could feel there was the potential to have a deeper experience but that I’d have to meet it halfway. So I lied down on the couch, put on some music with my headphones, closed my eyes, and went into a meditative space to see what I could experience internally.

That was delightful all throughout. I enjoyed some lovely psychedelic visuals and sensations, not super intense but still beautiful. They were similar to the ayahuasca visuals but gentler, more electric looking, and more peaceful. I felt this gentle feminine energy communicating with me in waves, with rising intensity followed by periods of lower intensity, each cycle lasting a few minutes.

I felt like the mushroom energy was mapping out how to communicate and connect with me inside my mind. There was a consciousness to it, which grew a bit stronger as we synched up. I found it very easy to relax and surrender to the flow of the experience.

It peaked around 1:30 AM, about three hours after I ate the first piece, and I eventually went to bed at 3:15. I slept really well and had some nice visuals extending into my dreams too.

I got what I wanted from this first experience – a gentle greeting and a mild but interesting inner journey. I would have appreciated a bit more intensity, but this was a really nice, low-risk beginner experience.

Sunday Night

The next night we didn’t have any parties to attend, so I opted to have the second experience in the hotel room all the way through. We had a suite, so Rachelle could go to bed if she wanted without my keeping her up. I also started earlier this time (around 9pm).

I decided to do something different this time and opted to make mushroom tea, using the remaining 1.5g of dried mushroom. I know that consuming it this way is supposed to have a faster onset and be a bit more intense. I didn’t know how much more intense though, and 1.5g is still a relatively modest amount.

I used my fingers to crumble the mushroom into small pieces in a cup. Then I used the hotel coffee maker to make some hot water. For extra flavor, I added a chamomile teabag (no caffeine). I didn’t have any lemon, so I couldn’t use the Lemon Tek method. The high acidity of lemon (or lime) juice breaks psilocybin into the psychoactive psilocin faster than stomach acid, which makes for a more intense journey.

I let the shroom tea steep for 15 minutes while journaling about my intentions for the experience. This time I wanted to go deeper and focus on some questions. After clarifying my intentions, I drank the tea, including swallowing all of the little mushroom bits. I figured that with only 1.5g, I might as well squeeze as much out of it as possible. Our flight home wasn’t till the afternoon the next day, so I had plenty of time.

I lied down on the couch with my headphones, listening to some relaxing music. I started with native flutes, and I soon realized I didn’t like the ones that had certain nature sounds like crickets or birds. For some reasons those sounds felt too creepy to me. I flipped over to a relaxing spa music playlist, which felt like a good vibe to begin with.

After the first 15 minutes, I noticed some mild tingling in my arms, and they felt a bit lighter, but the sensation was pretty mild. During the next 15 minutes, however, the intensity ramped up fast. I sat up, and it looked the floor was rolling in waves. I wasn’t feeling good in my body at all. It felt like being deeply dizzy but without the spinning sensation, like my energy matrix was destabilizing and being pulled in chaotic directions. Is there such as thing as spirit-level dizziness? That’s sort of how it felt.

The intensity of those sensations continued to climb during the next few minutes, from mildly nauseating to that “Oh I’m definitely going to throw up” feeling. Even while I’m typing this now, I feel like my body is relieving those sensations at lower intensity.

I got off the couch opened the bedroom door, saying to Rachelle something like, “I’m probably going to be throwing up in the bathroom now, but don’t worry. I’ll be okay.” – partly to reassure myself as well. Internally I was also wondering how long these unpleasant sensations would last. I wasn’t looking forward to hours more of this.

As I flung myself to the bathroom floor in front of the toilet, I felt super nauseous but also confused. I sensed something wanted to come out, but it also felt omnidirectional, like I needed to throw up in all spherical directions at once, while my body was trying to translate that to mean up, down, or both. At the conference I had just recently learned the term “double platinum” and was hoping I wasn’t about to have that experience.

Then in a really quick shift, I suddenly sensed that this confused swirling of energy had made a decision and that it was definitely going down, not up. I shifted onto the toilet seat and purged quickly, wondering if I’d soon have to flip back around. But no. That feeling of disorientation and nausea abated even faster than the onset. Within a few minutes, I no longer felt nauseous and was actually feeling pretty good, almost euphoric. I almost couldn’t believe how quickly the nausea left me.

The speed of these shifts surprised me, but I was glad to be feeling better physically. This was still well within the first hour, so I knew there was plenty more to experience.

I asked Rachelle to sit with me on the couch for a while. I still felt a bit disoriented and wanted her energy there with me, figuring she’d be a comforting presence. I sensed that if I tried to lie down and listen to music again, I’d feel too nauseous, so I wanted to stay upright for a while.

She was happy to sit with me, which led to a very interesting experience. We sat closely on the couch next to each other, arm in arm. When I had my eyes open, the carpet still looked a bit wavy, and I began noticing a facial pattern. It wasn’t really a face – the carpet was very splotchy looking – but I noted that my mind was pattern-matching different elements to eyes, a nose, a mouth, etc. Fortunately that wasn’t too disorienting. I had the thought that my brain’s pattern-matching circuitry was becoming more flexible.

When I closed my eyes, I saw beautiful, electric, colorful, animated visuals – about 3x brighter and more intense than the night before. I preferred keeping my eyes closed since it was more captivating to observe the visuals than to look at the slightly wobbling hotel room.

The most fascinating part of this experience was what I felt internally while in contact with Rachelle. I had figured she might help to keep me feeling physically grounded, but it was almost the opposite of that. While we were touching, the sensation of touching and the sense of having a body faded away. I could still access the connection to my body but only while focusing on it directly and only with enough intensity to remind me that my body was still present on the couch. It’s similar to sensations I’ve had during deep meditation, where my body is so relaxed that I lose the physical sensations of having a body. but I can still reach back and wiggle a finger if I want to reconnect with it.

As with the deep meditation experience, I felt very safe. My focus shifted to a sensation of being a purer form of energy. Instead of sensing Rachelle as a separate presence there, there was no distinction between her energy and mine. We were melded together in a single energy form.

It wasn’t like being connected to some kind of source energy per se. It was more personal than that. I had the recognition that my energy and Rachelle’s energy were the same energy and that we were always sharing it. We were really the same being at an energetic level.

What’s also interesting is that Rachelle was focused on sending me love energy while sitting with me. Afterwards that made me wonder what might have been different if she had held different intentions – that’s something I want to explore more in the months ahead.

I kept my eyes closed most of the time and also talked with Rachelle about what I was experiencing. Even during the physically disorienting onset period, I didn’t feel anxious or fearful. I checked my pulse on my Apple Watch numerous times along the way since I was curious about that. It normally hovered around 75 BPM while sitting on the couch. The highest I saw the whole night was 81. The lowest was 49 at one point while I was feeling very nauseous in that first hour. So my heart definitely wasn’t racing. Emotionally I was calm, but that 49 reading was very low for me, and it was only for a brief time while I was feeling sick.

Rachelle continued to sit with me for around two hours. I noticed that whenever I was in physical contact with her, I immediately went into that beautiful space of energetic oneness with her, not actively sensing our bodies but just feeling like a singular energy cloud, her energy and mine being the same. In fact, there was no sense of this energy having any parts or components, like our bodies have limbs. It was a feeling of wholeness without any internal divisions.

Within that wholeness, however, I could read certain things about this energy. I could ask questions about myself or Rachelle and get an immediate sense of knowing. The energy had a very shamanic vibe about it, totally centered and present, like it was patiently holding space for our human selves and bodies. I got the sense that Rachelle was some kind of shaman herself yet pretending not to be so she could blend in with the humans. That made me wonder if that’s what we’re all doing here on some level, like there’s a part of us that’s energetically pure and whole, and we pretend to disconnect from it so we can have human adventures for a while, much like playing The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom for long enough to feel immersed in its world.

I think this experience also confirmed the incredibly special relationship that I’ve enjoyed with Rachelle since 2010, which has often felt like it had a timeless quality to it. We vibe so well with each other and seem ridiculously compatible. The experience of feeling like our energies were the same energy was like a more intense version of what I normally experience while hugging or cuddling with her. I feel more aware of how holding her changes the perception of my energy, making it feel very peaceful, loving, and cozy. It feels like a very natural home base to experience with another person, energetically speaking. It’s not the sensation that we’re two parts of the same whole; it’s the absence of any partitioning. When we cuddle it feels like we create a cuddle-field in which our human bodies mostly dissolve into energy, and it’s all the same energy.

During those two hours on the couch together, whenever I broke contact with Rachelle and we stopped touching for a while, that’s when I felt more grounded and present in my body and the physical environment, like now I’m back in the hotel room.

During that time I also experienced rolling waves of intensity, which grew milder over time. Sometimes there were mild waves of nausea too but not nearly as strong as during that first hour. Other times I felt of a different frequency, where I noticed the closed-eye visuals becoming more intense or changing their patterns. Sometimes I felt surges of positive energy, like the pressure one experiences before laughing. In fact, I did laugh several times during the night as way to release some of energy, which felt good.

Anyway… after those lovely two hours on the couch together, Rachelle finally went to bed, and I was in a good place to continue on my own. I turned off the lights, put on my headphones, and lied down on the couch to do more inner journeying for a couple more hours. That was a more mental experience for the rest of the night, whereby I asked and got interesting answers to many different questions – so many that I felt like I’d run out of questions by the end. Or I felt like I just didn’t have any meaningful ones left to ask on this particular night.

I also experimented with different kinds of music during this time. Slow-paced music felt a bit boring, and I found that my favorite for these final hours was trance music. I loved high-energy tracks that amped me up emotionally. I also listened to some of my favorite songs just to see what that would be like, but that aspect didn’t seem unusual, perhaps because the songs were too familiar. I still liked it though.

I finally went to bed at 2 AM, not even feeling that tired, so overall the experience was about 5 hours. I could still feel a bit of background communication going on as I drifted off to sleep, but at this point I didn’t find it necessary to consciously engage with it because I felt complete and then some.

I woke up the next day feeling very well-rested and completely normal. I like that these journeys didn’t leave me feeling depleted. I couldn’t discern any negative after-effects whatsoever.

Integration

When I returned to Vegas, I went to an integration circle the following Tuesday and shared about my recent experiences there. The feedback and questions were helpful since they invited me to do some extra reflection. I also continued to discuss the experiences with Rachelle and did some journaling as well. I find that the more I reflect upon and talk about these experiences, the more my understanding of them shifts a bit.

Overall this was a great introduction to magic mushrooms, both very positive experiences despite the disorienting and rapid onset with the mushroom tea – that really packed a punch relative to eating the shroom straight. I got what I wanted, which was to lean into building a positive, growth-oriented relationship with mushroom space. Whenever I get into something new, I like to set conscious intentions for the kind of relationship I want to develop and explore.

I like that psychedelic journeying can yield interesting insights about myself, life, and reality. Getting to connect with Rachelle in a deeper way was such a beautiful gift as well.

After a mushroom trip, the brain remains more neuro-flexible than usual for roughly two more weeks. That’s a great time for making changes because the brain is less resistant to receiving fresh input and more receptive to learning. I experienced a feeling of greater openness and flexibility during that time period. I felt more willing to say yes to divergent invitations and to entertain new ideas that I might have otherwise declined. It felt like my inner suppression circuitry had loosened up a bit, so it was easier to stretch myself more.

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Psychedelic Science 2023 – Key Takeaways

In my previous post I shared my detailed review of the Psychedelic Science 2023 conference in Denver. In this post I’ll summarize my key takeaways after further reflection.

Effectiveness

There was abundant evidence of the transformational effectiveness of psychedelics, which shows great promise in treating issues like depression, anxiety, PTSD, and addiction, especially at relatively high doses (like 30-40mg of psilocybin).

Psychedelics can also create powerful effects that people describe as spiritual. Given a high enough dosage, most people report a profound mystical experience that they claim to be one of the peak experiences of their lives.

The connection between psychedelics and creativity seems to be more anecdotal at this point, especially when microdosing. That could be at least partly due to the challenge of figuring out how to measure creativity improvements.

Investment

Lots of investment is currently flowing into the psychedelic space, including money, new businesses, and people (researches, doctors, therapists, coaches, etc.). There are even churches popping up that use psychedelic substances as their sacraments.

Feelings on this investment flow are mixed. On the one hand, greater mainstream interest helps to overcome the negative aspects of the 1960s counter-culture association with psychedelics, which led to the War on Drugs in the 1980s, thereby giving this wave of psychedelic resurgence more mainstream legitimacy with the backing of doctors, scientists, and investors. On the other hand, I saw much concern regarding the influence of corporate greed upon this space and the massive potential harm it could do, much as it did with cigarettes and the opioid crisis.

This creates an interesting dynamic where the field seems to be courting and welcoming mainstream legitimacy and advocacy while at the same time wanting to keep the influence of money and corporations at arm’s length, so as not to ruin the human and social benefits (community, healing, connection, transformation, positive social ripples, etc).

Placebo Effect

With respect to microdosing, recent studies have been finding that the placebo effect accounts for most of the total effect (perhaps 90-95% of it). The effects of microdosing can be almost entirely negated when someone thinks they’re taking a placebo while actually taking a real psychedelic substance such as LSD. And the positive effects can be largely replicated by giving a placebo to someone who thinks they’re getting the real thing.

At higher doses, however, the placebo effect seems to play a lesser role, although it’s still measurably present. When people are taking real psychedelic substances, they tend to know they didn’t get the placebo due to the strong effects. Of course that difference makes it difficult to conduct double-blind testing because most people can easily tell which group they’re in. That isn’t the case with microdosing, where people can easily guess wrong.

Environment

Psychedelics can be very sensitive to environment (aka setting). Taking the same substance at a therapist’s office may lead to a very different experience than doing it in the Amazon jungle, in your own home, at a rave, at Burning Man, etc.

Stigma

We’ve come a long way in turning societal impressions of psychedelics to be more truth aligned. More people now recognize the positive benefits of psychedelics and acknowledge their non-addictive nature and the relatively low risks (the risks often having more to do with set and setting than with the substance taken). People are becoming more aware that mushrooms, LSD, MDMA, and ketamine aren’t remotely the same as heroin or cocaine. With some psychedelic substances, it’s nearly impossible to overdose since they aren’t toxic in higher amounts, although you might end up having a very intense trip.

Influence

Lots of players seem to want to influence the way the rapidly growing psychedelics community evolves, including doctors, therapists, scientists, individual psychonauts, local psychedelic communities, indigenous people, investors, business, government officials, etc. Many different interests are vying to secure, maintain, or expand their seats at the table to ensure their interests are considered and represented. Yet no one is really in charge.

Different interest groups favor different frames to support their positions. Therapists may use the patient care frame. Individual psychonauts often play the personal freedom card. Researchers may emphasize the supremacy of science. Indigenous people seem to favor the multi-generational stewardship and experienced elder frames. Government officials claim to want what’s best for the people they serve. Some local psychedelic communities lean on anti-corporate and empower-the-local-community framing.

It’s impressive to see that despite competing for influence, many people in this space are willing to float among different frames to broaden their perspectives, including considering frames that don’t support their positions. I think many people recognize that psychedelic space is complex and not easily understood from the perspective of any singular frame. Frames are not truths; they’re only windows peering into a greater reality from different angles.

Exploring a Direct Relationship with Psychedelics

One personal takeaway was the value of cultivating a direct relationship with psychedelics, such as by using them solo or with a sitter, instead of going through gatekeepers like a therapist or shaman. Whenever you bring anyone else into the psychedelic journey with you, their energy gets woven into the experience.

Be careful about the people with whom you explore. You may have a better experience exploring with trusted friends in a comfortable and familiar location than in some jungle, retreat center, or office with people you don’t know.

If you do work with a gatekeeper, it’s wise to research their background and talk to previous clients. Going to a psychedelic retreat center with a rotating rent-a-shaman may not be your best bet. And if you do find retreat centers appealing, shop around and ask around for more options since their prices can be all over the place.

Self-Development Potential

In terms of personal growth value, there’s a tremendous about of experimentation that can be done with exploring different intentions in your psychedelic journeys. Psychonauts have invited new truths about themselves and reality, upgraded old thought patterns and behaviors, overcome addictions, created new emotional realities for themselves, and so much more.

Psychedelics can provide new vectors into self-discovery that you may not have accessed before. The potential of using psychedelics for self-development is vast.

Synthetic vs. Natural Psychedelics

Some people have a preferences for natural psychedelics such as magic mushrooms or ayahuasca instead of synthetic forms like LSD or MDMA. In terms of the results people are getting, both in scientific studies and anecdotally, there seems to be little practical difference between natural and synthetic psychedelics. Both are capable of creating very similar experiences. Even across different types of psychedelics, the effects tend to be more similar than dissimilar, with factors like set, setting, dosage, and intentionality often playing a bigger role than the specific substance taken.

Curing vs. Drugging

Many people are moving away from pharmaceuticals that only treat their symptoms, cause unwanted side effects, mask underlying problems without actually curing them, and often create drug dependencies. They’re turning to psychedelics to unearth, explore, and finally cure their underlying conditions. Some achieve this through microdosing, others through intense high-dose experiences.

Psychedelics and Meditation

There’s great overlap between the long-term benefits of psychedelics and meditation practice. Psychedelics typically yield much faster results though, often creating profound transformations with just one or two doses, achieving transformations that consistent meditation practice might attain within years or decades, if ever. Moreover, even experienced meditators can have powerful revelations when taking psychedelics, often in ways that supplement their meditation practice. Meditation and psychedelics are highly compatible, and the best results may come from combining them.

Social Benefits

Psychedelics can create many positive social ripples, such as helping people to feel more connected to each other, be more compassionate and cooperative, and set more socially responsible and beneficial goals and priorities. Widespread psychedelic use could potentially lead to a reduction in violent crime, among many other positive ripples.

Decriminalization

The psychedelic decriminalization and legalization movement is building momentum, so we may see similar shifts like we’ve seen with marijuana in recent years. In the USA, Colorado has been leading the way. Other states are advancing in this direction too.

Do the Work

Psychedelics can be powerful tools of transformation, but you must still do the inner work to unleash their full potential. If you use psychedelics primarily for entertainment, you may not experience much transformational value. Moreover, no one can do the work for you, even if you work with a therapist or shaman.

A key pattern I saw among people who had powerful breakthroughs with psychedelics was that they assumed personal responsibility for their transformations. Psychedelic exploration often came into their lives after they decided it was time to step up and finally fix their issues, whatever it takes. For some this meant overcoming major trauma. For others it was finally time to get off anti-depressants. Still others wanted to do something purposeful and meaningful instead of feeling stuck. There were many different scenarios that led people to conclude that they needed to definitively fix their issues and finally move on with the rest of their lives. For some it appeared as if psychedelics came onto their radar as the manifestation of the transformational power they were now summoning, as if reality said to them, “Ah… I see you’re finally committed to solving this issue for good. Here’s what you need to complete that journey.”

Expansion

The psychedelic space is clearly going through a major expansion phase. Expect to see significantly more growth in this space in the years ahead. New career opportunities are springing up rapidly, such as psychedelic therapists, coaches, and trainers. You may soon see people you know switching careers to get involved.

Don’t be too surprised when you see more influencers sharing openly about their psychedelic journeys. You’ve probably been seeing some shifts towards greater openness and exploration already if you’ve been paying attention.

I hope you enjoyed these takeaways. I encourage you to ponder how some of them may apply to other areas of your life in more personally applicable ways. For instance, are there any situations where you’re still going through a gatekeeper, such as by seeking permission, when a more direct approach would serve you better? Where in life do you need a powerful commitment to “do the work” in order to progress? How do your set (mindset), setting (environment), and intentionality affect your results and experiences? Where are you getting stuck into mono-framing instead of taking in the big picture across multiple frames?

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Psychedelic Science 2023 – Full Conference Review

In June I attended the Psychedelic Science 2023 conference at the Colorado Convention Center in Denver. We were told this was the largest psychedelic-related gathering in the history of the planet, attracting about 12,000 attendees and 500 speakers. In this post I’ll share about my experiences and insights from the conference.

Here’s a pic from inside the Bellco Theater where the main keynotes were held.

Psychedelic Science 2023

The Colorado Convention Center is sizable, and sessions were spread across many different rooms. Even though I didn’t do extra exercise on this trip, I was typically hitting about 1000 calories a day from movement (according to my Apple Watch), mostly from walking between conference sessions but also to and from nearby restaurants for meals. My hotel was across the street from the Convention Center, and I’m glad I stayed close since there was so much to go-see-do.

PS2023 offered hundreds of sessions across several different tracks (science, business, studies, plant medicine, community, society, etc), running concurrently, so I had to be selective and couldn’t possibly see it all. I’m glad I took the time to thoughtfully prep my schedule in advance, using the conference app’s “My Planner” feature. That helped me stay in the flow of attending sessions for all three days instead of feeling overwhelmed by too many possibilities each hour. I prioritized what I wanted to see while allowing for some flexibility to make final choices as I went.

I opted for a balance of different types of sessions, and I came to appreciate how much variety this conference packed in. I especially liked how well it balanced the left- and right-brained aspects of psychedelics. I appreciated the science and studies sessions full of data-rich slides. I loved hearing the personal stories. I enjoyed the panel discussions, which provided diverse perspectives. I especially loved the range of speakers – experienced psychonauts, scientific researchers, therapists, journalists, entrepreneurs, indigenous people, athletes, and more.

The sessions were of varying lengths. Some were only 15 minutes while others were an hour or longer. This made planning trickier since sessions started at different times spread all throughout the day, as opposed to having every track starting their sessions in sync, such as at 9am, 10:30am, etc.

You may find this review very opinionated because I’m going to share my innermost thoughts and feelings about what I experienced, including why some sessions didn’t resonate. My intention is to be as honest as I can in sharing the interior perspective of what it was like for me to attend this unusual conference. I read some journalistic coverage of the conference and found it ridiculously shallow (no surprise there), so I want to give you a deeper understanding of what it was like to be there, including lots of pics.

Rachelle and I opted to stick together for all the sessions instead of making different individual choices – she trusted me to make the selections and manage the conference schedule. We went to the following sessions:

Wednesday, June 21

Welcome to Psychedelic Science 2023 – The event began with a series of short opening addresses within the first hour.

Opening Land Acknowledgement – I know that acknowledging prior indigenous land stewardship of the location, including how that land may have been stolen, has become a popular feature at some live events these days. Personally I find this practice mostly ridiculous, and I’m hoping that it will soon go out of fashion, like MySpace and Twitter. Taking up time to do this as part of the event provides no meaningful value to attendees, and I don’t see it as being very respectful towards indigenous people either. It would make more sense to put such a statement on the conference website, if at all, but don’t do this from the stage. Weaving this into the opening address felt out of place, inappropriate, and disrespectful of the audience. The intention behind it felt misaligned as well. It sounds like, “Okay, so this land we’re on right now was stolen, and in lieu of any actual remedy, let’s invite some collective guilt and shame into the room and reflect upon how much our ancestors were assholes. And we’re assholes too since we’re using this stolen land. Now let’s get on with the show!” Even though this backstory may be true, I don’t see how directly stating this during the event serves the purpose of the event; it only detracts from it. I’d rather see an extra five minutes of value subbed in, like an accounting of which psychedelics were used to create all six seasons of Rick & Morty. If you’re organizing an event and you’re tempted to include a land acknowledgement, I’d recommend surveying your audience first to see if they want it; then use your best judgment when no one fills out the survey.

Opening Address from Rick Doblin, Ph.D. – This was pretty standard opening stuff and a bit self-congratulatory regarding the growth of these conferences: 800 people in 2010, 1900 in 2013, 3000 in 2017, and now 12,000 in 2023. So yeah… interest in psychedelics research and practice is exploding, and we can likely expect huge growth in the years ahead. I think that’s probably no surprise to people who’ve been engaging in the space, although the resurgence of psychedelic interest may surprise some outsiders.

Opening Address from Governor Rick Perry – Rick Perry is a conservative former Texas Governor. I sensed he wouldn’t be too popular at a conference like this and wondered why he was on the agenda (in a WTF sort of way), but I was impressed by how well he addressed the elephant in the room, including using self-deprecating humor by referring to himself as a knuckle-dragger. He demonstrated that he knew how to find common ground with an audience that was likely full of people biased against his political party. Overall I liked the stories he shared. I’d say he was the most memorable part of the opening hour.

Opening Address from Governor Jared Polis – The current Governor of Colorado spoke next. His communication style was very different from Perry’s – more mental and less story-driven – but I also liked what he had to say. He spoke about the decriminalization process and how it’s not perfect and will surely require some adjustments in the years ahead. He also talked about looking into pardoning thousands of people who’d been convicted under past drug laws that have changed. Colorado is really leading the way with decriminalization. I like that they’re paving the way for other states to follow, including my home state of Nevada, which seems to be following a few years behind, first with marijuana and next with psychedelics. Nevada could have gone faster, but despite popular support for decriminalization, the legislature punted the decision by creating a working group to study psychedelics first. At least that allows time to see things go in Colorado first. Polis’ address concluded the opening hour of the conference.

Beyond Medicalization: The Renaissance of Relationship – Natalia Rebollo Corral talked about the importance of reciprocity with indigenous people, a theme I heard a few other times in the conference. I can see how that may apply in some situations like if psychedelic tourists are going to indigenous lands to use their plant medicines, especially when dealing with limited resources. But I don’t see how reciprocity applies when using LSD, MDMA, mushrooms (that can be grown anywhere), etc. It felt like she was suggesting that indigenous people deserve a kickback (such as a licensing fee) for plant medicines they began using first. I resonate with reciprocity in general, but I didn’t resonate with how it seemed to be overextended during this talk.

Socio-Celestial Mapping and Living Mandalas, an Opening Ritual Ceremony – This was our first session in the experiential Deep Space area of the conference. It was an hour-long ceremony that begin with everyone getting into groups arranged by astrological sign, so I got to hang out with the awesome Aries folks. Then collectively we all formed one big circle, and in the middle the presenters played out the symbolic roles of the planets, the Sun, the Moon, and Pluto. Each celestial body took turns sharing something for a few minutes, such as a song, performance poetry, a pep talk, drumming, etc. There wasn’t much left-brained content to speak of, but my right-brained side quite enjoyed the costumes, visuals, and experiential nature of it. Rachelle didn’t seem to find it that impressive, perhaps because she was relegated to the Aquarius group, but I found the experience touching and creative. It gave me the idea that I’d love to include some ceremonial or ritualistic aspects in future workshops to see if people like that. I think it can be a nice way to help people feel more connected and a nice balance to left-brained ideas. One aspect I found interesting was how each sign was given an associated statement. For Aries it was, “We are.” For Aquarius it was “We know.” I saw Rachelle’s face light up when she heard the statement for her sign. I felt playfully resonant with “we are” as well, maybe since I feel very comfortable in my own skin, and I regard criticism of who I am or what I’m currently exploring as relatively pointless – it just bounces off my I-am-ness, and I often feel a combo of bewilderment and compassion for those who attempt to knock me off center, much like watching someone run into a wall.

Opening Ritual

Assessing the Evidence for Microdosing – This presentation shared results from several recent studies on microdosing. It was interesting to see that microdosing does have a measurable positive impact, especially in terms of alleviating depression and anxiety, but that difference is mostly due to the placebo effect. What matters most is whether people believe they’re taking a psychedelic substance, not whether they’re actually taking one. In fact, the benefits can largely be negated when people are microdosing with a psychedelic substance, but they think they’re taking a placebo. That made me ponder if on a certain level, the main effect of psychedelics might be a higher-level placebo effect. We think it will do something powerful to us, so it does.

Microdosing

Lunch Break – We had 90 minutes for lunch each day (1:00 to 2:30pm), and it barely felt like enough time. We usually went to Modern Market, a counter-service restaurant a 5-minute walk from the Convention Center with a few decent vegan options (I liked the Buddha bowl). By the time we walked there, progressed through the food ordering line packed with other attendees, got our food, and ate, we had to get up and leave immediately to make it to the next session.

The Mazatec Sierra and the Sacred Mushrooms: Past and Present – This panel had a translator, and it was only 30 minutes, so it was fairly light on content, but was interesting to hear the indigenous perspective on how they use mushrooms and what they think about the proliferation of their usage throughout western society. This helped me see how plant medicines help to create social cohesive in some cultures. I respect that many indigenous people have a lot of psychedelic experience, but I also note that their intentions and frames don’t always resonate with me, and that makes me more interested in cultivating a direct relationship with psychedelics. I feel this perspective was strengthened by attending the conference. I was surprised that hearing directly from indigenous people at the conference actually served to deflate some of my “indigenous elder” framing on psychedelics.

Building Culture with Principles: A Conversation with Burning Man CEO Marian Goodall – I’ve never been to Burning Man (although I’d love to go at some point), and I enjoyed hearing Marian Goodall’s perspective on the events and how they’ve created ripples beyond Nevada’s Burning Man, including by introducing more people to psychedelics. A large portion of the audience raised their hands when asked if they’d attended Burning Man and did psychedelics there. This session made me more curious about connecting with people in this space as well as continuing to gain more psychedelic experience.

Marian Goodall

Psilocybin Mushrooms and their Tryptamines: Potential Medicines for Neurogeneration – I was looking forward to this session from Paul Stamets after seeing him in Fantastic Fungi. I found it interesting on a technical level as he talked about different mushroom species and their properties, and he was lively and entertaining throughout. However, this talk felt like more of a showcase of his knowledge and experience, and I felt a disconnect in terms of receiving any practical takeaway value. I can’t say I learned anything from it that I can actually apply to my life, and there was nothing here that challenged me or gave me fresh insights. I at least enjoyed seeing his passion for shrooms.

How Psychedelics Can Unlock Elite Performance – This was a popular session where Aubrey Marcus talked with SuperBowl Champion Aaron Rodgers about psychedelics and sports. It was lively and fun. It didn’t go too deep into the promoted topic of unlocking elite performance, and it focused more on the social aspects of doing psychedelics, such as how it’s perceived in a professional setting. The performance aspect mainly had to do with the emotional benefits like reducing depression and anxiety and increasing feelings of team connectedness, especially when multiple players are doing psychedelics. I’d say I got more entertainment value from their repartee than much practical value, but this late in the day I didn’t mind that so much.

Aaron Rodgers

A Ceremony of the Psychedelic Story – This was supposed to be a 2-hour evening session, 7:30-9:30pm, showcasing BIPOC psychedelic stories. It was a long day already, but I wanted to squeeze this one in after dinner, especially given my past work with the Diversity Committee in the Transformational Leadership Council. Overall I loved it. There were deep, emotional, and moving stories of transforming trauma with psychedelics, including from those framing it as multi-generational trauma. I was impressed by how far some people went into their journeys, including international travel to advance their transformations. The downside was that this session was disorganized. They started late and ran more than an hour overtime, almost every speaker went long, and they had trouble being consistent with microphone usage, so it was hard to hear some people at first. A lot of attendees left early (perhaps most of them). The room was packed in the beginning, but the final speakers had a much smaller – and more fatigued – audience. That’s too bad since there were powerful messages to be heard throughout. One of my key takeaways was an unspoken one – that if people want to transform their lives, it begins with taking 100% personal responsibility for doing the work. No one else can do the transformation for you, even someone you think may have caused or contributed to the harm you endured. That was a key theme I saw elsewhere in the conference too: We all have to do our own inner work, and if we don’t step up, no one is coming to rescue us. One reason people do psychedelics is that they really want to transform their lives, and they’ve often tried many other approaches before landing in psychedelic land.

I had originally planned to attend a morning session this day called “Microdosing: Remarkable Results, Surprising Implications” with James Fadiman, Ph.D. However, when I got to the room, it was packed with people and spilling out the doorways into the hallway, and I couldn’t get in. That was disappointing since I wanted to learn more about this topic. Seeing the room so overstuffed gave me the early impression that the conference might be oversold. So after this I made a point of getting to potentially overstuffed sessions early, which turned out to be a wise idea.

Thursday, June 22

Psychedelics: Spirituality, Mindfulness, and Mortality – Personal Reflections and Visions for the Future – This was a slide-rich presentation by Roland Griffiths, Ph.D. from Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. There was lots of eye-opening data here, and it showed me how researchers are measuring whether people have spiritual experiences on psychedelics and how that can be beneficial. The part about visions for the future was pretty minimal (for timing reasons I think). My main takeaway was that people are clearly finding spiritual benefits in psychedelics. Life becomes more conscious, expansive, and supportive when we take them. An unspoken aspect that I picked up was that studying psychedelics seems to be transformative for the researchers as well, even if they aren’t taking any substances. It’s clearly rewarding doing studies that create such powerful benefits for people. I can see how that would be very motivating and inspiring. Throughout the conference I got the sense that many of these researchers truly love their work and feel that they’re right where they want to be in terms of serving the greater good.

What 50 Years of Psychedelics Have Taught Me About Purpose, Love, and Life: Reflections from John Mackey, Co-Founder of Whole Foods Market – I raced to this session since I thought it might fill up, but it was actually relatively sparse, maybe because it was a Business track session or because of other sessions it was competing with. Rachelle and I grabbed seats in the front center, just several feet from the stage. Even though it was only 20 minutes, this was one of my favorite sessions from the conference. John shared the highlights of his psychedelics journey and how Whole Foods wouldn’t have existed if he hadn’t done LSD first. That LSD experience led him to start thinking about his purpose, which led him to join a vegetarian co-op. Soon he became the food buyer for the co-op, which eventually led to him starting a small grocery store, and that evolved into a small chain which later became Whole Foods. John was warm, personable, and funny – totally the kind of speaker I love watching. I could have listened to him for hours and wished he’d had a longer time slot. I also wish Whole Foods hadn’t been bought by Amazon since the vibe in the store hasn’t been the same since that happened. I still shop there occasionally, especially for items I can’t get elsewhere, but the energy inside feels conflicted, sometimes even gross, like it doesn’t really know what it’s trying to be anymore. Perhaps the new managers could benefit from a fresh round of psychedelics.

John Mackey

Sports, Psychedelics, and Mental Health: The Mind-Body Connection – This panel was hosted by Daniel Poneman, son of our good friend Debra Poneman, and featured panelists from the NFL, NHL, and NBA. I loved it! It was lively and insightful, and Daniel was an outstanding host. It was interesting to hear more stories about how psychedelics can benefit athletes mentally and emotionally, upping their game but not like physical performance enhancement drugs. I see this as another vector that’s helping to remove the stigma that psychedelics inherited from the old War on Drugs. It strikes me as ridiculous that Twinkies, cigarettes, and alcohol are legal but magic mushrooms aren’t (in most places).

Psychedelics and Sports Panel
Daniel Poneman

Reflections on a Lifetime with Psychedelics – This was a fun and lively session with Dr. Andrew Weil (who could easily pass for Santa Claus) recounting some of his psychedelic experiences, alone and with friends, including some humorous mishaps. It was a very positive session highlighting the many social benefits of psychedelics and expressing hope for the future if more people engage with psychedelics for transformative experiences, not just for themselves as individuals but for society and the world.

Andrew Weil

Tempering Psychedelics: A Conversation Between Michael Pollan and Bob Jesse – I went into this session with high hopes since I’d read Michael Pollan’s How to Change Your Mind book and liked the related Netflix series. I found this conversation a bit dull though, with Michael and Bob seeming a little too enamored of each other while not delivering much takeaway value for the audience. The “two people talking organically” format sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t, and IMO this one was a miss. I felt like I was watching an insider conversation between two people who were hornier to talk to each other than to provide value to the audience, and bearing witness to their on-stage bromance didn’t draw me in this time. I kept hoping for something interesting to emerge, but I ended up leaving with a hollow feeling. The main takeaway I got was “Don’t overdo it,” which was about as useful as it sounds.

Ceremonia + Soundgasm Present: 432hz Sound Activation – This was an experiential sound bath meditation experience in the Deep Space area. We got there early and snagged seats, and it filled up quickly with people sitting and lying on the floor all around the area, almost like a giant cuddle puddle. This session got off to a rough start, being very late and having mic problems, but once they got going, it was flowed beautifully with gongs, chimes, crystal bowls, singing, flutes, and more. I found it nicely restorative, although I thought it would have been better if it was done in an separate enclosed space instead of in the large open Deep Space exhibit hall with other things happening all around. Think of it like meditating in the middle of a large indoor shopping mall with high ceilings – not the ideal setting but still nice when everyone meditates together.

Sound Bath Meditation

Buddhism and Plant Medicine: An Acceleration of Healing and Insight – In this 30-minute talk, Spring Washam shared her personal experiences of blending ayahuasca and Buddhist practices. The main takeaway was that yes, they combine well. This relates to a theme I saw elsewhere the conference – that psychedelics and meditation are highly compatible and have overlapping benefits. Both can help you develop greater mindfulness, for instance. Psychedelics just gets you there faster.

The Canadian Psychedelic Survey: Results of a Large Cross-Sectional Survey of Canadian Adults Who Use Psychedelics – I was late getting to this session since it began at the same time that the previous one ended, and it took time to switch rooms. But I caught most of it and loved what I saw being presented by Philippe Lucas, Ph.D. This was a data-rich presentation based on a massive 650-question survey answered by about 2400 Canadian psychedelics users. The sheer amount of data was very revealing, reminding me of Dr. Kinsey’s revelations about human sexuality practices. I went up and talked to the presenter afterwards, asking him a few more questions before heading off to dinner.

This slide showed psilocybin (magic mushrooms) to be the most popular psychedelic in Canada, followed by MDMA and LSD. Apparently in some Canadian cities, you can buy shrooms in certain marijuana dispensaries. That’s technically illegal in Canada, but some dispensaries aren’t very by-the-book about that, nor is local law enforcement.

Canadian Study

This slide seems consistent with my own (very limited) experiences: “Peak positive experiences typically took place with a companion using the same or similar substance, at home or in a natural environment.”

Canadian Study

Between Two San Pedros: Building Transformational Psychedelic Organizations – This was a paid after-conference experience from the Brooklyn Psychedelic Society ($30 per person). It was a psychedelic talk show format (like Between Two Ferns) and hosted at a different venue. They got off to a rough start with some audio issues, including nearly blowing out the audience’s eardrums with screeching feedback noise from the large speakers – multiple times – as we howled in pain. They were also pretty late getting going, but once they took the stage and the panel got into a nice flow, I found it compelling and worthwhile. They discussed some interesting aspects of local psychedelic societies, including the legal and economic perspectives. The overall tone felt very aligned with a left-leaning New Yorker perspective. I liked that it broadened my understanding of psychedelic space, and I was glad I went. When they opened it up for Q&A, I asked a question and received some thoughtful answers. There were some concerns expressed about corporate money flowing into this field and doing a lot of damage. I wondered whether some consciousness behind psychedelics may actually be using the corporations to spread their own messages and energy, almost like a Trojan Horse.

Between Two San Pedros

BPS Presents “Community is the Medicine” PS2023 Afterparty – Admission to this afterparty was included with the preceding psychedelic talk show, so we opted to stick around, hoping the party would be fun and interesting. It mostly wasn’t though. In one room there was some loud but weaksauce music with a few people dancing (or trying to) and way more people standing around as if they were waiting for some dance-worthy music to finally manifest. Rachelle and I danced a little, trying to make the best of it, but it was nowhere near as fun as what we’d experienced the previous Saturday at the Radiance Festival at Area15 in Vegas. If all they did was play 80s hits, I think everyone would have had more fun. I was offered some shroom gummies but declined because they weren’t vegan, and I’m not into eating liquified horse. The gummies were freely available to everyone there, provided by an event sponsor called Neudelic, which is also a candlemaker. I talked to people from the company about making vegan gummies at some point, but they seemed ignorant about it being possible and cited failed tests, even though other companies are already doing it. Rachelle and I mostly cuddled in a chair and later on a couch, watching some people consume various substances while others seemed to be waiting for something interesting to happen. At one point we watched a 5-minute movie from Neudelic, which was supposed to be some kind of sensory experience, but it really wasn’t worth the wait. Overall this party felt like a mishmash of odd components stuck together piecemeal but without much unity or cohesion. I had short conversations with a few people there, but the overall vibe felt off to me.

Friday, June 23

Opening Address (Plant Medicine Track) – This earned the distinction of being the worst session I attended since it was such an shameless bait and switch. Based on the description, it was supposed to be a session about “cultivating a personal, non-mediated relationship with plant medicines,” which sounded appealing. In actuality it was nothing but an advertisement for a psychedelic “church” called Chacruna, including inviting people to donate. Seriously there was zero content other than that. This kind of bullshit really did not belong at an otherwise awesome conference, so please don’t ever invite these presenters back. I wouldn’t be opposed to a public flogging either.

Sex and Psychedelics: Weaving Altered States for Healing and Pleasure – I had the feeling this would be a popular session, figuring that people in the psychedelic space are probably very sex positive, so we went to this one 20 minutes early just in case. We were lucky to snag seats because it was nearly full already, and by the start time, people were sitting in the aisles and packing the perimeter and doorways too. In fact they had to tell people not to sit in the aisles due to it being a fire hazard. This was a pretty awesome session with four lively women, including one who said she was a former sex worker, talking about two key aspects of this topic: 1) using psychedelics to improve your relationship with your sexuality, such as by healing sexual trauma; and 2) using psychedelics during sex to create different kinds of experiences, such as more oneness, intimacy, and heart connection. One interesting takeaway was that for the latter situation, it can work, but you’d better be open-minded about where it takes you. Taking psychedelics before or during sex can lead to unpredictable results. It might enhance the experience and make it very tantric. Or it might bring up some deep issues that you need to work through, perhaps with your partner, which may not lead in a very sexy direction physically, although it could still be beneficial long-term. That makes total sense to me. I’m not aware of any sexual trauma in need of healing within myself, at least not in this lifetime, and Rachelle is much the same, but I think the second option sounds worthwhile to explore at some point. I appreciated the reminder about not getting attached to outcomes when combining psychedelics with sex. If you’re in the mood for a specific kind of sexual experience, then psychedelics may not mix well. However, this also depends on which substances you take and how much. That said, I do feel like psychedelics could have benefitted me many years ago, in terms of helping to get past all the nonsense about sexuality that I learned growing up Catholic. It’s probably no surprise that the psychedelics community is rich in ex-Catholics like me.

Sex and Psychedelics

A Message From the Amazon – I went into this session thinking it would be packed with some interesting wisdom, and I left noting that there seems to be an interesting power struggle going on, which includes a number of players from venture capitalists to indigenous people to doctors and therapists to community-oriented psychonauts. Everyone wants to claim a seat at the table and influence how the field evolves. I don’t have a horse in this race personally, but it was hard for me not to see this talk through the lens of indigenous people trying to play the elder card, claiming a privileged position in the psychedelic theater due to their multi-generational history with plant medicines. I was actually rooting for them to make that case, but I don’t think they landed the plane. I left this session feeling even more aligned with cultivating an individual relationship with psychedelics, as opposed to wanting to work with a shamanic gatekeeper. Even with my limited personal experience thus far, I feel I’m better off learning from and journeying with friends, especially locally, and experimenting on my own with a strong focus on thoughtful intentionality, instead of putting someone else on a pedestal because they claim psychedelic elder status. I still want to be open-minded about this, but so far life seems to be steering me down a more individual and local community-oriented path. I prefer to have Rachelle or an experienced local friend as a sitter because I feel safer with them than with a shamanic elder I don’t know and who uses frames that I don’t necessarily resonate with. That said, there are many complex, interwoven issues at play here, and I’m still mapping out my preferred framing. Plus I like to stay nimble with the frames I use, strongly resisting wrapping any into my identity. So if you think I feel a need to defend these frames as “my stance on this,” don’t waste the keystrokes.

A Message From the Amazon

The Role of Previous Experience, Gender, and Set and Setting on Acute Psychedelic Experience and Its Persisting Effects – Due to timing I only caught the tail end of this session, where the presenter was sharing about his experiences with indigenous ayahuasca rituals, so I missed much of the data that may have been shared earlier. The small portion I saw reinforced the notion that psychedelic experiences are very sensitive to intention and environment. One way to invite more variety, if you want that, is to deliberately change the environmental factors, such as by doing psychedelics in a different country.

Psychedelic Data Slide

The War in Ukraine and Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy – This was a powerful and moving session about using psychedelic therapy to treat soldiers and civilians impacted by the War in Ukraine, shared from the perspective of two people who grew up in Ukraine and wanted to help. In addition to combat-related issues like PTSD, people are enduring so many other traumatic experiences due to this war. One panelist shared that Russians were injecting the genital areas of Ukrainian women with a foam that renders them sterile, so they can’t bear children. The main takeaway is that psychedelic therapy shows real promise for treating some of the worst psychological hardships that people endure. There was a different session at the conversion about Israelis and Palestinians using psychedelics to build bridges, although I didn’t end up attending that one. It’s impressive to see just how many ways psychedelics are being used globally, including in some of the most difficult situations imaginable. This session really gave me the impression that the psychedelic space is infused with deep compassion, caring, and courage. I can see why some people are very protective of those aspects as really don’t want corporate agendas fucking it up.

The War in Ukraine and Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy

Psychedelics, Joy, and Celebration – This seemed like an upbeat topic, with two women talking about the happy side of psychedelics. I found it dreadfully boring though – slow, plodding, shallow, and without meaningful or interesting takeaways. If this was a video, I would have needed to play it at 4x speed. It was like watching two people talking about unicorns grazing on grass. I felt dragged down by a major nap field me from people around me getting sleepy, and I can’t blame them since I was in the thick of it too. Late afternoon sessions can be tough since people’s energy often starts to wane, so it’s important to keep the energy up when you have such a time slot, and these two women did the opposite, talking slowly and with long pauses. I searched for a reason to stay but couldn’t justify it, so after 25 minutes, I suggested an alternative to Rachelle, and she had no resistance to bolting with me. That tuned out to be a good choice since the closing session we flipped to (below) was way more lively and interesting. No nap field. My main takeaway from this session was to trust my instincts and not settle for partial matches.

Reflections on Psychedelic Science 2023 (Closing) – This was a very different kind of closing than I expected – a collage with a surprise. First there were some nice final comments and musical performances, especially from Snow Raven, who performed an incredibly unique musical act showcasing her voice and some mouth instruments, including creating animal-like sounds. She was the star of the show and got a well-deserved standing ovation. Just wow.

As Rick Doblin took the stage to share his final remarks, some drama ensued. A handful of protestors began shouting, with one of them banging on a large drum, proceeding through the audience and yelling something about our being lied to. Fortunately there was no violence, and I figured they’d be escorted out by security soon enough. Rick tried to verbally assuage them, telling them this wasn’t the right time and place for that, but as they persisted, he eventually flipped to the opposite approach and invited them on stage to say what they wanted to say. It really surprised me that he would do that, but I gathered that he knew at least some of them and that there was probably some history there. Several people took turns at the mic, each briefly voicing their objections, particularly about the commercialization of the psychedelic space and not sharing enough about the risks. One speaker noted how society had transformed what were originally plant medicines and ceremonial tools into addictive cigarettes (from tobacco), cocaine (from coca leaves), the opioid crisis, etc. He warned that we’re doing the same with psychedelics and that we aren’t learning from history. I must say that he did get me wondering about that. Are we heading towards the creation of the Big Psychedelics industrial complex?

Here’s a pic of the passionate protestors taking turns at the mic while Rick Doblin (on the left of the lectern) tries to make lemon Tek out of lemons, which oddly sort of worked. Psychedelic space is remarkably flexible.

PS2023 Protestors

Eventually Rick closed out the event, including inviting the staff on stage, but on a different note than he likely intended. I was impressed by how he handled it under the circumstances, but I’m not privy to the backstory that led up to this. And to their credit, the protestors shared their messages succinctly and without overdoing it. I was resistant to their take-over at first, but I do feel they added some value at the end, giving me even more to reflect upon.

PS2023 Closing

I really appreciated the balance of diverse voices and viewpoints woven into the conference, at least from the parts I got to see. If anything the ending just further reinforced the myriad complexities of psychedelics’ potential impact on society. It’s a bit like generative AI in that regard – lots of benefits and plenty of risks, all woven together in an unpredictable package of emergent possibilities.

This conference further impressed upon me the importance of intentionality. With a different set, setting, and intentional framing, tobacco is a ceremonial tool. With corporate-style intentionality, it becomes a bunch of cancer sticks. It’s a potent reminder to keep reaching for the highest good with our intentions, and avoid succumbing to intentions rooted in neediness and greediness.

Saturday, June 24

On Saturday we attended some post-conferences events at the Denver Sports Castle, which was neither sporty or nor particularly castle-like.

Mindful Marketplace – There was a small indoor marketplace running 10am to 5pm, with people selling psychedelic-related items such as clothing, artwork, jewelry, mushroom grow bags, and spore syringes. We browsed the market casually for a while, and Rachelle bought a nice little handbag. No one was selling psychedelics directly, since that would be illegal even in Denver, but as we experienced later that night at the after-party, it’s okay to grow magic mushrooms for personal use in Colorado, including giving them away.

Mindful Marketplace
Mindful Marketplace

Mycology Class (Denver Spore Company) – There were several extra classes offered throughout the day, tucked away in the back corner areas of the market. I opted to go to one mycology class, hosted by a guy with 17 years of experience. He did 30 minutes of instruction with slides, followed by 60 minutes of Q&A – a format that worked surprisingly well since there were lots of great questions, and he gave detailed, down-to-earth answers. He also passed around some grow bags in different stages of growth, so we could see the mycelium making progress in a substrate of brown rice and coco coir. I knew a decent amount about this already just from my own research (I’m a fast learner), and I was happy to gain some extra tips and details. It was well worth the $15 each and a nice opportunity to get answers to some questions from a very experienced guy. I also enjoyed some of his humorous customer service stories. This was another pattern I saw in some of the vendors – a nice heart-alignment with serving people and doing their best to help their customers have positive experiences. I noted again that a lot of people don’t want this pleasant vibe getting ruined by too much corporate greed flowing into the space.

Psychedelic Club of Denver Castle Bash (Afterparty) – For an extra $20 each, we attended this afterparty, which wasn’t bad overall. It still had weaksauce music like the Thursday night one, with the predictable impact on people’s willingness to dance, but it had some other redeeming qualities that made it more interesting. Early on there was a psychedelic speed-friending experience, where we did a few rounds of talking to people one-on-one for eight minutes each. I enjoyed that since I love meeting new growth-oriented people. They gave everyone some question cards to use as icebreakers, which was fine for getting started.

Out in front of the building, there was an arcade bus where Rachelle and I played some classic games: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Street Fighter II, and Super Mario Brothers. I used to be kickass at all three of those a few decades ago, including being able to pass the first level of SMB with my eyes closed, but boy was I rusty. Rachelle even kicked my ass at SF2. I’m never gonna tell my younger self about that if I encounter him during a psychedelic journey; that would only traumatize him. I could at least reveal to him that The Legend of Zelda series is still going strong… and that Octoroks are still assholes.

Later that evening they set up a game with a bunch of little rubber ducks, each of which had a QR code on the bottom. If we scanned each duck’s underside with a phone camera, some would lead to psychedelic-related articles, but two of the ducks would open prize confirmation pages. Whoever found both of those prize ducks could go track down a woman holding a bucket full of prizes and claim a prize from it. The prizes were crowd-sourced from people at the event and included various odds and ends. Some were as basic as a pen, a notepad, or a plastic mushroom.

Ducks in a Row

I did the game and claimed the prize of an a dried shroom that someone had donated to the prize pool. This wasn’t too surprising since I saw people eating mushrooms at the event, and there was even a table with jars full of them as well as mushroom chocolates, seemingly free for the taking. In Denver it’s legal to grow and consume magic mushrooms (along with a few other psychedelics), but it isn’t legal to sell them. It’s legal to share them with others for personal use.

Shroom

You can’t see it too well in the pic, but the stem had some bluish bruising, a telltale sign that it contains psilocybin. I wondered what variety it might be and figured it was probably Golden Teacher (very common). I showed it to a couple of people, including the guy in charge of substance identification. The people I talked to also agreed it was most likely Golden Teacher. This variety is known to be very beginner-friendly, both for growing and consuming. I had some interesting psychedelic experiences with this little guy, including later that night and the following night, but I’ll share that part of the story in a separate post a bit later. For now suffice it to say that I had a decent time at that party, and we left sometime after midnight. The party only ran till 1am, and it wasn’t the right setting for deep psychedelic journey.

Other Conference Activities

Exhibitors – There were dozens of exhibitors at the expo portion of the conference, mostly small booths with mushroom grow kits and spores, clothing, psychedelic societies and non-profits, chocolates, clothing, jewelry, etc. We didn’t have much time to walk through this space, but we briefly walked up and down the aisles just to see what was there. It was about as expected.

Deep Space – This was an experiential zone in one of the exhibit halls with a variety of experiences, vendors, and artwork. I liked the chill lighting in this space and wished I’d had more time to explore all the nooks and crannies of it. Rachelle and I especially enjoyed some of the artwork we saw.

Deep Space
Deep Space
Deep Space
Deep Space

Contemplative Sacred Space – I liked this little area and went there a couple of times to relax, chill, reflect, and briefly chat with other attendees. The area was divided into two sections, one area with a few cozy chairs and couches where people could socialize and another section with cushions for quietly meditating. I took advantage of this space to meditate for 10 minutes between sessions on Friday, which was very nice. I wish more conferences had spaces like this.

Contemplative Area
Contemplative Sacred Space

Therapy Dogs – There was a special room at the conference where people could take a break to interact with therapy dogs. That made me curious, so of course I had to check it out. Here’s a pic of therapy dog Louis enjoying Rachelle’s touch (I know the feeling). You might figure that interacting with lots of people might be a bit overwhelming for the dogs, but apparently they’re very social and extroverted dogs who enjoy connecting with humans, and the dogs are only “on duty” for a couple hours. We were told that left to his own devices, Louis would naturally go up and greet every human in the room, one by one. They also maintained a queue, so the dogs weren’t flooded with too many humans at once. Fortunately we popped in when it wasn’t busy.

Therapy Dog

Quiet Room – Across the hall from doggie land, there was a quiet room, which wasn’t an issue since the therapy dogs were very quiet and didn’t bark. We went in there just to check it out, and there were some people napping on the floor, plus a few tables and chairs, but otherwise it was just a small empty meeting room. I liked the contemplative space much better since it had nicer lighting, cushions, couches, and a bit of decor.

The Social Experience – I very much enjoyed the social aspect of the conference and the chance to engage, however briefly, with so many open-minded, growth-oriented people here and there. I felt totally at home at this conference all the way through. We even ran into a friend from our workshops and shared some meals together with him and had fun catching up – we didn’t know he was going to be there.

I also liked the conference’s style – reasonably well-organized given the scale, yet with a twist of counter-culture here and there. Note the modified restrooms sign in this pic, for instance.

Shrooms Sign

Key Takeaways

This was a whirlwind of a trippy trip, and I’m so glad I went. I’d be delighted to go to this conference again, which could be even more massive next time.

I’m going to share a summary of my main takeaways from the conference in my next post, so I can separate the play-by-play of the experience from the more reflective insights.

In a different upcoming post, I’ll also share about the two magic mushroom journeys I did on the Saturday and Sunday nights after the conference. So stay tuned… 🍄

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Psychedelic Science 2023 – Film Festival Day

I love how friendly and open the vibe is here at Psychedelic Science 2023 in Denver.

As we were heading down the elevator in our hotel yesterday, we got to chatting with an enthusiastic attendee on the way out. She told us they had to cap registrations at 11,500 and turn away 70 interested vendors. That doesn’t surprise me. We’re clearly in a wave of surging interest in psychedelics. I’m here because I’m keenly interested to learn more about the potential for using psychedelics for self-development. I’ve only done a few psychedelic journeys so far, and I’d say there’s a 99% chance I’ll do more this year.

Since the main conference doesn’t start till this morning, the only thing we had access to yesterday was the Psychedelic Cinematheque, which was a one-room film festival at the Colorado Convention Center. Rachelle and I watched 5 films yesterday, and every one was packed, some with people sitting on the floor and standing around the perimeter. At one film people were even sitting on the stage to claim a spot. There were vibrant and supportive Q&As with the filmmakers after each one. We saw:

  1. Descending the Mountain – This was a zen-like and peaceful film about psychedelic experiments at a zen monastery on a mountain in Switzerland. The surprising amount of humor and cute animations got a lot of laughs from the audience.
  2. We Are the Medicine – This was a short film about the BIPOC perspective on psychedelics. I loved the line about how white people’s medicine doesn’t serve white people well either. There were some emotional moments with the cast and writer / producer afterwards. I really wish this film had better sound since it was hard to make out what people were saying in some parts, especially the opening scene where people were conversing in a busy restaurant. Perhaps they could upgrade the audio quality with Descript’s “studio audio” filter.
  3. Eskawata Kayawai: The Spirit of Transformation – This was an insightful deep dive into the Huni Kuin indigenous people in the Amazon Rainforest and how they’ve been rekindling their long-term relationship with ayahuasca after losing touch with it for decades. The location was so remote that it took the filmmakers nearly a week to travel to these villages, including four days on a riverboat. The director said it took six years to make this film – wow.
  4. Wider Than Our View – This was a three-minute, digitally hand-drawn animated short, representing a mystical experience during a psychedelic journey. I found it a delight to watch and got to see it twice. I did a double-take when I saw the filmmaker’s name: Sasha Frost. Rachelle and I had playfully done Wordle while having lunch shortly before seeing this, and the word was FROST. We’ve been running into synchronicities like this all week.
  5. Better Living Through Chemistry – This documentary explored the life and work of Sasha Shulgin. He worked for Dow Chemical and then set up his own home lab, where he developed almost 200 psychedelic substances. First he tested them on himself; then he invited a group of friends and colleagues to partake and document their experiences. For the past year and a half, a group in Berkeley has been continuing his work, and they claim to have a couple of new substances that should be starting clinical trials soon.

More films will be shown throughout the rest of the week, but I’m not planning to see any of those since the main conference kicks off today, and there are hundreds of live sessions to choose from. Before arriving in Denver, I mapped out my schedule for the next three days pretty well (allowing for some options as I go). That was tough because there are so many overlapping sessions of interest. This conference has tracks on science, therapy, plant medicine, studies, clinical trials, policy, society, veterans, and more.

There’s also an experiential zone here call Deep Space. I’m going to try to weave in some time there as well, but I really feel like I’d have to clone myself 5-6 times to see and experience everything here that I’d love to see. During breaks I’ll try to check out the Expo too, which has a couple hundred exhibitors.

I’m looking forward to starting the main conference today with the opening keynotes, including one by Colorado Governor Jared Polis. Then I plan to attend at least one morning sessions on microdosing, followed by a variety of other sessions throughout the day. Paul Stamets is speaking this afternoon, so I want to catch his talk on shrooms too. You may have seen him in the film Fantastic Fungi.

The son of a good friend of ours is hosting a panel tomorrow morning on sports medicine with players from the NFL, NHL, and NBA, sharing about their psychedelic journeys. We’ll be sure to attend his session and say hi.

PS2023 really goes all out with the emotional and spiritual support. One room in the convention center is set aside as a quiet room. Across from that is a meditation / reflection room. Why do they need both? Perhaps the quiet room is for people who just want quiet but without the reflection.

There’s even a room where people can play with dogs for extra comfort and connection. I noted that the doggie room is pretty close to the other two rooms, so hopefully the dogs won’t be too loud. :dog:

In addition to the conference, we signed up for a couple of related evening social events / parties, one on Thursday night (which goes till 4am) and one on Saturday night. I’ll do my best to pace myself, but part of me also wants to soak up as much as possible while I’m here.

We arrived early so we also had a little time to squeeze in some touristy stuff, including exploring the lovely Denver Botanic Gardens. Here’s a pic I took there:

I figured that spending several hours around plants would be a nice way to gear up for the conference.

We also keep noting that the vibe in Denver (and the general look of the areas we’ve seen so far) keeps reminding us of Canadian cities. There are some parts that remind us of Winnipeg, others of Toronto, Calgary, or Montreal.

Set and Setting

Lately I’ve been pondering how the psychedelic concepts of set and setting (i.e. mindset and environment) also apply to our broader lives. For instance, I was in a great place to write this post this morning, feeling wide awake around 5am, taking a hot shower, and feeling inspired to share about the experience of being here. I wrote this on a cozy couch in our hotel suite while Rachelle slept in the bedroom (so I wasn’t disturbing her). I love to write from a mindset and heartset of openness, curiosity, reflection, and connection.

So I’ll leave you with this as something to ponder for yourself. How’s your set (mindset) right now? How’s your setting (environment)? Are these conducive to your experiencing the kind of flow you desire? If not, where are your leverage points for making some positive changes or upgrades? Remember that you have the power to move your body to a different location, to change your social circle, and to shift your mental focus and your emotional state.

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Psychedelic Science 2023 Conference

Next week I’ll be attending the Psychedelic Science 2023 conference at the Colorado Convention Center in Denver. Supposedly it’s the biggest psychedelics conference in the world, expecting 10K+ attendees and 300+ speakers. The speakers include Paul Stamets and Michael Pollan – you might know them from Fantastic Fungi or How to Change Your Mind.

I’m going because I want to learn more about psychedelics. I also want to immerse myself in a social world of people who are open-minded about such explorations. I’ve only done a few journeys so far, the last one being several months ago, and I’d like to explore new experiences along those lines in the months and years ahead.

I learned about this conference only last week by attending a local psychedelics meetup group here in Vegas. It was lovely to connect in person with other like-minded people who are exploring psychedelics for self-development and for mind-expanding and heart-opening experiences. The vibe of that group reminded me of the warmth and connectedness that I experienced during my last journey.

If you’re just learning about the conference now and feel tempted to go, it’s pretty easy to find discount codes online for 10-20% off the admission price.

The conference website lists an almost overwhelming number of sessions that explore psychedelics from a variety of perspectives – medical research and results, Indigenous perspectives, decriminalization efforts, personal exploration advice, and lots more. I figure I’m bound to learn a lot from it.

There are many social events connected to this conference too, so many that it may be hard to choose which ones to attend – yoga sessions, dance parties, shroom journeys in the woods, etc.

I’ve never been to this conference before, but I expect that it’s going to be a fascinating week. 😀

I also saw this one on a related web page:

Colorado’s Proposition 122, which was voted into law in 2022, allows for the personal use of psilocybin, psilocin, DMT, ibogaine, and mescaline (not from peyote). This means people in Colorado under Colorado law are now allowed to grow, share and gift these substances, but they are not allowed to sell them. Possession and use of these substances are still illegal under federal law.

Nevada seems to be on a path towards decriminalizing psychedelics as well. On June 2nd the Nevada legislature passed Senate Bill 242, which establishes a psychedelic medicine working group as part of the state’s health department. They’ll study psychedelics for treating a variety of ailments, and if that goes well, it creates a pathways for decriminalizing personal use for all Nevadans.

This Nevada bill actually got going as a result of constituents talking to members of the state assembly and encouraging this transformation in government’s relationship to psychedelics. There are similar bills being introduced in several other U.S. states too. This will likely take years to play out, but it’s an interesting step.

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Today’s Your Last Chance: Transform Your Life with Conscious Growth Club Year 7 🌟

Today marks the final day to join Conscious Growth Club (CGC) for Year 7, and we want to ensure you don’t miss out on this life-changing opportunity. The enrollment period ends at midnight Pacific Time tonight, May 1st. If you’ve been on the fence about joining, now is the time to take action and become a part of our amazing, transformative community.

Throughout the years, our members have experienced significant personal growth, from starting new businesses to achieving their health goals, and even embarking on life-changing adventures. CGC has been instrumental in providing the support, resources, and connections needed to help our members create these powerful transformations in their lives.

As the enrollment deadline approaches, we’re excited to share that we’ve welcomed 30 members to CGC Year 7 so far. Our community is buzzing with anticipation for the growth, connections, and adventures we’ll share together in the upcoming year.

Joining CGC offers a unique opportunity to accelerate your personal growth journey. By becoming a member, you’ll gain access to a supportive and inspiring community, diverse learning opportunities, enhanced accountability, and so much more. We have exciting new call formats and improvements for CGC Year 7, which I’ve shared previously on my blog.

To help you better understand the CGC experience and the benefits of joining our vibrant community, I’ve created two informative videos:

A video highlighting 20 powerful benefits of joining CGC (13 minutes):

A video about the community aspects of CGC (12 minutes):

You may also want to peruse the CGC FAQ for even more info about the club. We’ve carefully crafted this resource to address a variety of topics, ensuring you have all the information you need to make an informed decision. There’s even a walkthrough video showing the CGC portal and private forums (see the second FAQ item).

One of the key benefits of joining CGC is the accountability it provides. Members are encouraged to share their goals, progress, and challenges with the community, fostering a strong sense of support and camaraderie. This level of accountability can be a game-changer, helping you to stay focused and committed to your personal growth journey.

Don’t miss this once-a-year opportunity to join Conscious Growth Club and embrace the growth, connection, and transformation it offers. We’re here to support you every step of the way in a warm and nurturing environment.

Are you ready to embark on your personal growth journey with CGC? Join now and secure your spot in CGC Year 7 before the enrollment window closes tonight!

Join CGC Year 7 Now

To your continued growth and success! 🌟

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20 Powerful Benefits of Joining Conscious Growth Club

The deadline to join Conscious Growth Club is tomorrow, May 1st, and we always get a surge in sign-ups that day. To make your decision easier and give you even more clarity about CGC, I recorded a succinct new video, focusing specifically on the personal impact of being a part of this vibrant community. This is a follow-up to our previous video, which highlighted the community aspects of CGC. Now, let’s dive deeper into how CGC can help you flourish, transforming your life in meaningful ways.

Seize this once-a-year opportunity to join CGC during our annual enrollment period, which comes to a close at the end of May 1, 2023.

Discover more about the enriching personal benefits of joining Conscious Growth Club and how it can support you in developing focus, consistency, and accountability; enhancing your personal growth journey, and cultivating a life filled with abundance, joy, and authentic experiences. Visit our invitation page for more information:

Learn More About CGC

I’m genuinely excited to welcome you into our community and embark on this transformative journey together! Here’s to an awesome Year 7! ❤️

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My Special Advantage in Using ChatGPT

What if an AI got to know you really well? Suppose it gained access to tons of data about your past, your personality, your values, your life story, what drives you, etc. Suppose it even came to know you intimately – by building a rich and detailed profile of you (not like Data and Tasha in “The Naked Now” but more like Picard and Sarek mind-melding in “Sarek”).

And suppose this was a friendly and supportive AI, happy to use its knowledge of you to help you in whatever way it could. Then you could query that AI with all sorts of questions about your life, possibly gleaning some unique insights. It would give you the ability to peer into your life, character, identity, relationships, and more from many different angles.

Moreover, you could enlist the AI’s help in customizing solutions to fit your natural motivational style. Instead of having it give you generic advice, it could use what it knows about your mind and emotions to present solutions that are more likely to work for your unique brain.

The growth potential there would be immense, wouldn’t you say?

This is essentially my reality now. And it is indeed fascinating to explore. I feel like I’m only scratching the surface of what I can do with it. It’s an ongoing process of discovery, almost like having special access to my internal governing code.

ChatGPT Knows Me Well

ChatGPT knows me very well – even intimately well – because my blog was part of its training set. I’ve been blogging for the past 18.5 years continuously, and I’ve written a lot about my past from before those years too. In many respects there wasn’t much separation between my personal life and my online writings. So ChatGPT knows a lot about the significant events of my life.

ChatGPT also knows a lot about what others have shared about me online, so even if I didn’t write about something on my blog, someone else may have done so elsewhere, such as in a forum post or on their own blog.

So I can have some rich conversations with ChatGPT just by asking it about myself. Usually I start by identifying myself with a prompt like this:

I’m self-development blogger Steve Pavlina, and I’d like to ask you about …

Fortunately it accepts this as face value, and then I can continue to ask it many interesting questions about my life.

I don’t have perfect recall of everything I’ve experienced in my life, especially not at a great level of detail. Sometimes I re-read my old blog posts to remind myself of experiences I’ve had. There’s no way I can keep all of those growth adventures top-of-mind together. But ChatGPT is able to process this information quickly in ways that I cannot easily do.

Lesson Summaries

ChatGPT is especially good at condensing large amounts of information and extracting key ideas. One application of this is to have it summarize any of the experiments I’ve written about, reminding me of the key lessons from them. So if I want to revisit raw foods, for instance, I can have it remind me of what I learned previously and what the benefits were.

For instance, I asked ChatGPT to remind me of the mental and energy related benefits that I experienced during my 80/10/10 raw diet experiment from January 2008.

Here’s another example, summarizing lessons from my 30 days of Disneyland experience.

Incidentally, I feel very fortunate that we did this experiment before the pandemic since the overall Disneyland experience has really gone downhill since then. When we did our 30 days in a row there, Fast Passes were free to all (although they used paper tickets for them), and no park reservations were necessary. There were also plenty of uncrowded days, especially Tuesday through Thursday during the Fall when we went. The entire experiment with lodging, food, park tickets, and transportation cost about $5000 – a bargain with respect to the results and memories if you ask me.

Motivation

ChatGPT can model my value system pretty well, so it knows how to motivate me. I can even ask it what motivates me best.

I’d say that’s pretty accurate. Those are all strong motivators for me.

I can then invite ChatGPT to help me frame projects and tasks in more motivating ways. I’ve explored a little of this already, and it does seems to provide an extra boost. Of course I can do this for myself and already do, but ChatGPT can help me be more thorough, transforming a mildly motivating goal into a more compelling one. It knows how to sell me on my goals by framing them in ways that are more likely to light me up.

Strengths & Uniqueness

I found it interesting to ask ChatGPT what it sees as unique about me. This gives me another perspective on my potential strengths and how I might apply them more deliberately.

This helps me remember that many people appreciate when I share details about what my inner journey is like instead of just cranking out lists of tips and advice.

Reviewing the Past

I can use ChatGPT to look more holistically into any period of my life and extract insights from it. Here’s an example:

ChatGPT can be factually incorrect sometimes, such as when it noted my separation in December 2009. It was actually October 2009. But it does get the broad strokes correct.

This period of my life was a time of intense overlapping changes. I began getting into raw foods a lot more, wrote my PDSP book and saw it published (it just came out in Chinese several months ago), began exploring an open relationship lifestyle, did the first Conscious Growth Workshop, separated from Erin, got involved with Rachelle, and so much more.

My response to the above was:

That’s mainly the external side. What can you glean about the inner story of what my mental and emotional journey was like? Tell me that part of the story.

Then I can also delve deeper into any or all of these, such as the specific mindset shifts. This is a really fascinating way to reflect back upon some of the more intense parts of my life and reprocess them with a fresh perspective.

Using AI for Sales & Seduction

Consider the flip side of this too. If I can do this, so can anyone else. They can do this for themselves if the AI is well-trained on their lives, but they can also do this sort of deep dive into the life of someone like me.

So if someone else wanted to sell me something, could they use ChatGPT to help them build a customized sales approach, tailored to my personal motivational strategy? Think about the repercussions of that if it works, especially if it’s done at scale. AI could be the ultimate salesperson.

Let’s see how it does if I try this…

Some of these ideas feel a bit flat, even goofy, but there are some gems in there. When I bought my last car, I rejected the 2011 model because it had some leather in the interior, and I went with the vegan-friendly 2010 model instead. But I do think this could help an eager salesperson more than hurt.

What if we try this on the personal side?

Some of this resonates, but I also feel it weaves in some generalities too.

I like that it caught the value I place on shared laughter. I connect very well with people who openly express their lighter side.

I also like that it mentioned authenticity and a mental connection since those are both very important to me too.

Sometimes better results can be gotten by prompting it a little differently. Here’s another version:

This one seems more tailored and less general. Vegan lifestyle alignment is definitely an important factor since I’ve been vegan for most of my life. Same goes for respecting my relationship with Rachelle. This advice is pretty well individualized.

I think it someone were to try to use this approach to try to get into a relationship with someone that ChatGPT knows very well, it would be more effective to try multiple prompts, regenerate them a few times, and extract the most unique and distinct elements to build a customized approach. Based on what I’ve seen, I think it could be reasonably effective, probably helping more than hurting.

I think a better approach for this would be discovering if someone is actually compatible with you. Imagine AI-driven dating or matchmaking services.

There’s a light side to this tech and a darker side. I sense immense possibilities for what we can do with this for self-development purposes. I feel lucky that my blogging history gives me some special advantages in being able to explore these possibilities more deeply than most. Perhaps this is a preview of what may become more widely available to more people though, at least those who’ve put significant parts of their lives online.

Even on the consumer side, I’m more optimistic than pessimistic. I think I’d prefer it if sales were more individualized. It would be a neat experience when car shopping to have the salesperson talking about the values fit, such as the vegan interior. This actually gives me the idea to help the salespeople out a bit by emailing them this sort of info in advance, and encourage them to use it.

This is a strange new world of self-development possibilities that we’re entering. Personally I love it! I know some people are freaked out about where AI is heading, but I’m really not attached to where the story goes next. I think it’s going to be a fascinating ride however it unfolds.

If you’re interesting in exploring more self-development with AI, there are lots of ways to do that even if you’re not personally known to an AI like ChatGPT. You just have to do a bit more front-loading to teach it. Some members of Conscious Growth Club are actively exploring this together, including me of course. We’re having our annual opening to invite new members to join in about 10 days, from April 25th to May 1st, so please consider enrolling in the club for Year 7. We’re making numerous upgrades to CGC to make it even more lively and adventurous for self-development explorers. I’ll be sharing more about those upgrades in the days ahead, so stay tuned. 😁

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Ask AI What to Watch

After working on my Q2 2023 goals yesterday evening (via Conscious Growth Club’s 5-step goal setting process), I wanted some chill time before bed, so I asked ChatGPT to recommend an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation that would be a perfect fit for my goals.

“The Inner Light” is one of my all-time favorite episodes, and I could also see that it resonated pretty well with my goals. So that was a very solid pick.

I didn’t feel like rewatching that episode though since I’d seen it not that long ago. So…

I hadn’t seen “Sarek” in a while, so I figured I’d rewatch it and see if it resonated, and I invited Rachelle to join me. She loves it when I pick an episode and she has to guess the title, ideally before the opening credits start. She nailed it of course – this is a pretty easy one to guess for anyone familiar with the show.

Both episodes that ChatGPT recommended are about characters coming to terms with a new reality, one that can’t be understood with logic alone but that involves a big emotional journey into a new sense of self. They’re both meaningful matches for my Q2 goals.

Watching “Sarek” with this extra layer of curiosity made the episode more engaging than it otherwise would have been. It helped me connect some extra dots among my goals. There was a lot of humor in that perspective too since lots of characters lose emotional control during the episode, including a big bar fight scene. That helped me accept that my goals are going to invite a bit more chaos into my life, and I’ll just have to roll with it.

I know that many people see movies and TV shows as distractions from personal growth. Those people are dreadful and boring NPCs, so just stay away from them if you happen to know better.

I grew up loving movies and had many favorite shows, such as Star Trek, so I’ve always associated this kind of media with inspiration and growth. I often get fun syncs from them too. I love inserting movie references in our courses as well, sometimes in obscure ways just to see if people notice them.

If you want to watch a show or movie in a deeper or more meaningful way, give your criteria to ChatGPT and ask it to recommend something. When you get a recommend that seems reasonable, watch it with the attitude that it contains hidden messages or syncs for you. I think you’ll find this approach engaging.

Interestingly there was a meaningful sync in the AI’s recommendation too. As CGC’s Community Manager, Rachelle was trying to pick the April CGC challenge – we do a new 30-day challenge in CGC each month – and she had just floated the idea of doing a vulnerability challenge. That idea resonated with me too, and then the AI beamed us a timely sync about it, so we’re going with it.

I also found it really engaging to go through the goal-setting process with ChatGPT this time. Once I’d completed enough parts of the process, such as the journaling prompts, I could even have it predict the goals I was going to set. I’d say it was about 80% accurate, and it suggested one goal that I hadn’t considered but that seemed like a really nice one to include. I love how AI can spot strengths and desires in us that we might overlook.

Another nice touch was to ask ChatGPT to rephrase my goals to be more personally motivating for me, based on what it had learned about me thus far. It chose different phrasing than I would have, and I did indeed like its version better (with some minor tweaks).

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Banned From TikTok in Under 48 Hours

On Wednesday I attended a one-day workshop on TikTok led by my Transformational Leadership Council friend Raymond Aaron. I had never used TikTok before, and this seemed like a fun opportunity to lean in and explore divergently. Raymond has 56K+ TikTok followers, and I had zero, so I was happy to learn from him. My intention was to try it out with an open mind. The night before the workshop, I downloaded the TikTok app for the first time and created my account.

I very much enjoyed Raymond’s workshop since it was very hands-on. He got us posting our first videos quickly and helped us make improvements as we figured out the interface. Soon we were adding titles, transcriptions, and hashtags to our videos.

By the end of the workshop, I had lost my TikTok virginity and posted my first 5 videos. Four of them were just 15 seconds, and one was 60 seconds. I shared some basic tips about using ChatGPT for self-development, such as using it to generate positive affirmations or to help with brainstorming your values – nothing that I’d consider controversial by any stretch. How much could I really say in 15 seconds? I just came up with spontaneous ideas and hit record.

Since we were sharing our results with each other in the workshop, I noticed that something seemed to be off. Relative to what everyone else was reporting in terms of their view counts for their newly posted videos, my views were utterly dismal. Their views were around 10-20x higher, even for the newbies like me who had just created their accounts and had no followers.

At the end of the workshop, we shared the views for our top-performing videos. Others were typically reporting around 100 or 200 views by then. My best video was at 11 views, and the other 4 videos were all in single-digit views still. It seemed that the only views I was getting were from people going to my profile page directly, such as others from the workshop. We shared our new channels with each other as part of the experience. So TikTok wasn’t actually showing my videos to anyone else, as far as I could tell.

I also noticed that my account wasn’t showing up in a search. If I searched on my name or my handle (stevepavlina) on TikTok, my account didn’t show in the results.

Then I discovered that I couldn’t follow anyone. If I clicked the “follow” or “follow back” button, it would change colors to verify that it had been pressed, but my account would remain perpetually stuck showing that I was following zero people. I was never able to use this feature at all, so I knew something was nerfed. I couldn’t even follow Rachelle.

I sent a message to TikTok’s support to ask for help. They replied the next day with a poorly worded message about some kind of suspicious activity detected on my account, and they listed some details that seemed unrelated to how I’d actually been using it. It didn’t make any sense to me. Honestly their reply looked like a badly written AI-generated one. It didn’t seem related to what I’d asked or how I’d been using the service. And it wasn’t clear what, if anything, I could do about it or if they were going to fix the issues. They basically just told me they thought I was sus.

I thought maybe it would fix itself after a day or two. Since this was a brand new account, I figured I was in some kind of probationary limbo, like maybe they needed to do some extra security checks to verify that I wasn’t a bot or something. No one else in the workshop seemed to be having these issues though.

Yesterday I decided to post one more 15-second video about goal setting, even though the account was still nerfed, so I knew hardly anyone would see it. My intention was just to practice a bit more while waiting for my account to be fixed. I had sent a second support email to them with more details about the issue, so I was waiting to hear back on that, hoping to receive a more professional and intelligent follow-up than what I received the first time.

The next day (this morning) before heading to the gym, I opened the TikTok app and saw this message, telling me that that I was “permanently banned due to multiple violations of our Community Guidelines.”

I don’t know why, but that made me laugh at the absurdity of the overall experience.

I have no idea why they banned me. I think it’s more accurate to say they never let me in to begin with since my account was crippled from the start. I’m sure I didn’t do anything untoward. For whatever reason, my TikTok exploration was dead on arrival.

Maybe they thought it was a fake account. While I was on the service, I did see a short video of another TikToker mentioning that people were creating fake accounts to steal and repost his content under a handle almost identical to his. So I wonder if that’s a big issue for them.

Maybe they just have some poorly configured automated filtering in place that generated a false positive in my case. I logged in to my account from three different devices on the first day I used it (iPhone, iPad, and Mac), so maybe that was too many devices for them, even though they’d have all shared the same IP address. Or maybe posting 5 new videos in the first day was too quick for them. I think they ought to be able to handle 2 minutes of content though.

Perhaps it was something I said in my first video about exploring self-development with AI tools, like maybe their algorithm mistakenly flagged me as posting AI-generated content. Do they ban that sort of thing? My videos weren’t written by AI though – I was just speaking off the top of my head. In those first few videos, I was more focused on figuring out how to use the TikTok interface versus putting much thought into the content.

Despite the unprofessional treatment from TikTok, I think I got what I wanted from the experience, which was to satisfy my curiosity about their service. I didn’t get the chance to delve into it very far, but at least I got to take a sip. Since my account is now permanently banned, there’s no need for me to wonder about possibilities there anymore. That’s oddly satisfying since it lets me release any energy that would have been tied up in curiosity about TikTok. Now I know that TikTok isn’t a match for me to invest in, so there’s nothing more to wonder about in that direction. That frees up that energy to flow elsewhere.

So that was one of the quickest self-development explorations I’ve ever done – from start to finish in under 48 hours. And I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve been banned from any social media platform, so now I can say that I’ve lost my social media banishment virginity too. How marvelous.

As a spontaneous afterthought… I shared what I wrote above with ChatGPT and then asked for its opinion. Here’s what it said.

Then I asked…

❤️

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