Our new Guild deep dive course on social alignment has launched, and many people have already signed up. I invite you to join if you’re interested in upgrading your social skills, social circle, and relationship life. You can watch the invitation video to learn about the course here:
The main purpose of Guild is to help you make major upgrades to your social life. There are 5 core transformations that we’ll be working on together:
Enjoy rich and dynamic relationships with abundant growth-oriented friends.
Upgrade from shallow or fragmented connections to deep, full-range friendships.
Overcome outreach fatigue and social malaise to attract relationships that energize you.
Merge your character growth and social growth with a personal guild that helps you advance.
Build your social bandwidth and capacity to experience free-flowing social abundance.
So much of life’s abundance flows to us socially. Money… loving relationships… business opportunities… fun invitations… adventurous experiences… The more aligned your social circle is with the life you want to live, the more easily such invitations will flow to you.
If you aren’t already enjoying a nice flow of abundance in other areas of life, it’s probably because you have too much friction in your social circle. If that’s your situation, join us for Guild, and let’s work on correcting that together.
Here’s our group intention for Guild, which I invite you to hold with us:
In an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way, in its own perfect time, for the highest good of all, I intend and invite a beautifully aligned, growth-oriented, and mutually appreciative social circle to flow into my life. I intend positive results and prosperous journeys for the other participants of this deep dive as well – past, present, and future.
Delivered Live on Zoom April 1-30, 2022
We’re delivering the entire Guild course live in April 2022. Every day from April 1 to April 30 at 9am Pacific time, I’ll host a live Zoom call for all Guild course members. These calls will include direct instruction, small group exercises, open sharing and discussion, a co-creative segment, and Q&A. You’ll have the option – but not the obligation – to immediately practice what we teach on the calls.
I encourage you to treat this as a special 30-day challenge to identify and fix alignment problems in your social life. Day by day for 30 days straight, you’ll invest in practical upgrades and improvements to make your social and relationship life better and better.
This is a one-time opportunity. We’re doing this in April 2022, and we’re starting in less than 48 hours, so it’s now or never. Where else will you get the chance to invest in such a purposeful experience?
All of the calls will be recorded, and you’ll get the recordings too. Each recording will be published the same day as the live call, so if you miss any live calls, you can easily use the recorded version to keep pace.
If you’d like to learn more about the course, see the Guild invitation page, which will give you all the details. I’d recommend watching the invitation video on that page to see if the course interests you. That should give you a good idea of what the course is about, along with extra details about the changes we’ll be working on together.
I hope you’ll join us for this one – it’s going to be a fun, immersive, and rewarding deep dive into the world of social skills, social alignment, trust, friendship, intimacy, and more.
What is an aligned social circle? When people ponder improving their social lives, what do they actually want?
For the past two weeks, I’ve been reading and taking detailed notes on feedback from some questions that I posed to my email list. I asked people to tell me about their social circles, including what’s working and what isn’t working for them – and especially how they would like to improve or upgrade their social lives and friendship circles.
I spent days pulling out patterns and compressing the key issues to figure out what people really want in this area of life. Eventually I condensed it down to 5 core upgrades that people want to make, and I’m happy to share this now – because these are the changes we’ll be exploring together in the upcoming Guild course.
1. Growth-oriented friends
Enjoy dynamic relationships with people who actively seek growth opportunities.
Co-invest in helping each other grow, and celebrate your gains together.
Connect with people who care about you and who are willing and able to challenge you.
Build intimacy with a growth-oriented primary partner.
Embrace people who introduce you to fresh ideas and possibilities.
Mastermind with your friends on creative and business projects.
The most obvious change that people want to see is more close friendships (and romantic relationships) with others who are very growth-oriented. They want friends who are taking action and at least trying to upgrade their lives. This was so important that some people said they’d still appreciate more growth-oriented friends even if the values alignment wasn’t perfect in other areas.
People expressed disappointment with social circles that are too static, inflexible, and complacent. While some stability is appreciated, many people crave more flow, movement, and dynamism in their friendship circles. Otherwise they feel like they’re being sucked down into a fixed mindset by osmosis.
Multiple people also said they don’t want to be surrounded by those who always agree with them. They want people to challenge them, not necessarily confrontationally, but with exposure to new ideas and new ways of thinking. People want to see more boldness and courage in their friends, and they’re eager to receive some stimulating invites into mutual growth experiences.
2. Full range friendships
Replace shallowness with range and depth.
Replace mono-dimensional compatibility with multifaceted compatibility (more value per person).
Replace lukewarm relationships (“friendly but not friends”) with warm, heart-centered ones.
Invest in like-minded people with similar priorities, values, and interests.
Enjoy multiple activities, experiences, and modes of connecting with the same people.
Many people reported struggling with overly compartmentalized relationships. They may have multiple social circles in different spheres such as work, family, online friends, and hobbies, but within each sphere they only connect on a few dimensions.
A common desire was to experience more range and depth in relationships. People don’t want to feel limited to some version of small talk in all of their interactions. They find it dull and tedious to be limited to surface-level communication.
People are busy, and they recognize that they only have time and energy to connect with so many friends and contacts. They don’t necessarily want more connections in terms of numbers, but they want richer and more satisfying connections.
People want friends with whom they can do co-creative projects; business and personal masterminding; and activities like movie nights, game nights, date nights, or travel adventures. And most would like for these to be the same people, so they can really invest in rich, juicy, multi-dimensional relationships.
3. Energizing and rewarding relationships
Feel restored and renewed from your social time, not drained.
Anticipate social time with enthusiasm and excitement.
Enjoy a low-maintenance, self-sustaining flow of desirable invitations.
Overcome social malaise and outreach fatigue.
Keep your social life fresh and pleasantly stimulating (not boring or overwhelming).
Replace a fatiguing invitation or coordination process with an aligned and motivating approach.
Enjoy camaraderie and fun with others as a normal part of your lifestyle.
Ensure that your social rewards amply justify your social investments.
Outreach or coordination fatigue was a big deal for some people. They’ve run through cycles where they would reach out to connect, and they get some nibbles and some basic interactions, but in the end it often didn’t feel like it was worth the effort. So then they spend more time alone because it’s easier and less draining. Rinse and repeat.
They still can’t help feeling that something is missing and that there must be a better way to create and maintain a vibrant social life that isn’t so taxing.
What people need are relationships and social activities that energize them. They also need more efficient and sustainable ways of managing their social lives. People recognize that a sporadic or half-hearted approach isn’t going to create the results they want. They’re willing to try different approaches, but they also want to see that there’s a reasonable path to success that won’t require an extraordinary investment of energy. There’s a real desire for more social efficiency with better energy flow.
4. Social and personal integration
Replace multiple masks with shameless self-expression.
Stop compromising to feign compatibility with partial matches or mismatches.
Practice discernment to build intimacy with aligned matches.
Avoid over-investing in partial matches.
Discover the hidden strengths behind social awkwardness.
Enjoy forgiving, resilient, anti-fragile relationships (not flakiness or skittishness).
Love who you are and who you’re becoming because of your friends.
Merge your character growth with your social growth.
People lament having to invest in social “skills” that feel misaligned or having to bend their personalities in different ways to connect with others. They wonder if they need to compromise more or if they just need to find different people to connect with.
What people want here is a more natural, easy-going way of connecting. Perhaps the word I saw people use most often to describe this desire was like-minded. They crave relationships with people who think similarly and who see reality similarly, so they can communicate effectively right out of the gate.
Some people blame their own social deficiencies while others blame the mismatches and partial matches they’ve had to deal with. Some don’t blame anyone and see this as a puzzle to be solved. They all want better solutions to bypass the unsatisfying parts of the social game, so they can get to the other side and experience a home base of like-minded friends and relationship partners. They want people in their lives that they can easily like, love, respect, and appreciate – without feeling like they must overstretch themselves to get there.
People especially want their personal pursuits and their social circles to be pointing in the same direction, so their friends are genuinely helping them grow.
People want friends that they can help as well. Some people noted that without the right friends, they’re missing out on the giving aspect of friendship too.
5. Free-flowing social abundance
Develop an abundant yet manageable social moat through which aligned connections bubble up with relative ease.
Accept that alignment is often temporary, especially among growth-oriented people.
Recognize that as one connection abates, another will soon arise.
Upgrade from a mismatch-rich environment to an alignment-rich environment.
Replace neediness and social scarcity with a heartset of social abundance.
Know how to satisfy your social needs without being needy.
Many people recognize that human relationships are dynamic and that from time to time, a disconnect may happen, and it needn’t be anyone’s fault. Sometimes people grow apart, and that’s okay.
While some people would love to settle into a social circle of 6-10 good friends and leave it at that, others also recognize that a wider moat of social connections will make their lives more active, vibrant, and socially secure. Many people want that home base of really tight friends while also recognizing that a wider circle beyond that has its benefits too. That blend of comfort and variety makes for a really nice combo.
About half of our romantic relationship partners in life flow to us through our network of friends, family, and co-workers. So if you want more social flow, it’s wise to upgrade your extended social network. This can help you move beyond social scarcity, neediness, and clinginess, knowing that you always have plenty of accessible options.
So what do you think? Do these social upgrades sound good to you? Is this something you’d like to explore together during the weeks ahead? Feel free to share any feedback you have about this. I want to make sure that the experience we offer aligns with how you want to grow in this area of life.
I’ll have more info to share about the upcoming Guild course soon. I can say that it’s going to be very interactive – lots of live Zoom calls like we did with Deep Abundance Integration – so you can connect and practice with growth-oriented people. Beyond that I’m still tweaking the format and the bonuses I’d like to include. I always find it best to figure out what kinds of improvements people want to make in their lives, and then I can design the form of a course to match its intended purpose.
For some people it will take courage to enroll in this experience. The feedback made it clear that some people have trust wounds wrapped up in past relationships, and that’s still affecting them today. Some have acknowledged to me that just answering the questions I posed brought up feelings of intense anxiety, fear, or dread. I felt some of that emotional feedback pretty strongly too, like people were broadcasting these emotional waves right into me.
I’ll do my best to facilitate this shared journey with caring, compassion, gentleness, and encouragement. It’s predictable, however, that it’s going to be emotionally intense for some people. As always, every part of it will be consensual – nothing forced and no undue pushing or pressure – so you’ll always get to decide how much to engage and when you may need to step back and regroup.
I think many of us are detecting the common signal, as if life is broadcasting it to us, that now is the right time to invest in upgrading our social lives. For many people this won’t be easy, but I also know that this will be a beautiful and rewarding challenge to undertake together.
Since I ate mostly raw for 2021 – so many salads! – I can go back to eating more cooked food today.
Oddly I feel less motivated to do that than I expected. I fell into some very simple eating habits centered around fruit and salads, and that worked well for me. I’m sure I ate more greens this year than in any previous year. I got really good at making salads that I like.
There are a lot of foods that I haven’t eaten since 2020, such as pizza. I look forward to trying them again, but that feels more like intellectual curiosity than any sort of craving. I feel like my cravings for certain foods went down a lot. I got used to eating fairly simple meals this year, and now that feels pretty normal to me.
I like that eating raw makes my taste buds more sensitive, so everything tastes better than ever. I’d say that enjoy my meals more now than I did at the start of 2021.
I ended the year about 2 pounds less than I started. I gained some weight in the beginning from being a bit too piggish with high-fat foods, but then I toned that down and wove in 2 fasting days per month, and the extra weight came off easily.
This was a strange year due to COVID too, but it’s been one of my best motivationally and emotionally. One thing I like about eating lots of raw food is that it makes me feel happier and more motivated. I also experienced a different flow of inspirations throughout the year than usual.
I think the biggest change I experienced this year was taking some back-burner ideas, moving them to the forefront, and getting them done. These projects turned out better than I expected. One idea was to flow from the Amplify course launch right into the Conscious Growth Club opening. Another was decluttering and organizing my garage and finally processing old computers going back 20 years. Another was doing our first-ever online workshop. Another was my home theater upgrade project.
Eating raw helps me tap into under-expressed parts of me, like I can hear those parts more loudly and clearly, and I feel more inclined to trust them. Instead of talking myself out of so many ideas, I find myself getting into the flow of inspired action with more ease and less friction. So even though I spent a lot of time at home this year other than a trip to Philadelphia, it wasn’t a lazy year at all. I took a lot of action.
I feel like eating this way creates an ever-spinning energy turbine within me that fires me up with endless motivational energy. It’s really easy to get into the flow of action and stay there, as if my enthusiasm circuitry gets triggered more easily. This has been a great year in terms of momentum. It’s also been nicely balanced between work and personal projects.
The downside is that I sometimes take so much action in new directions that I have a lot of loose ends to fully close, like bits and pieces of projects that need to be tidied up. That isn’t so bad though since the ability to capture new opportunities faster is worth it. I also feel that I’ve been pacing myself pretty well.
Our Next Course – Guild
For this first quarter of 2022, we’re going to launch and develop the new Guild course, which is about building an aligned social circle. That with be our 5th major course.
A lot of people in my audience struggle with misaligned social circles, such as friends and family that don’t support their goals. I used to be in a similar situation, including being the only person I knew who was into self-development. Everyone else around me was skeptical or sarcastic about it. If I talked about any kind of growth-oriented goals, I could mainly expect eye rolls and discouraging commentary from the people who knew me. So I mostly kept quiet about these pursuits till I fixed that social alignment issue.
It will be very rewarding to guide people through the reframes and actions needed to meaningfully upgrade this part of life. Life is very different when the people closest to you are all supportive of your goals, and receiving daily encouragement becomes your normal, everyday reality. I found that a key to this is to practice compersion towards others as well. Compersion is the opposite of envy – it means feeling good about other people’s gains and successes. This really helps to get past neediness and to attract more alignment.
If you’re an ambitious person, it’s especially important to upgrade your social circle to include more ambitious people, including people who keep you on your toes and challenge you to think bigger. I find that something inside me begins to dwindle when I don’t engage with high-ambition people enough. It’s so crucial to have people in your life who spike your motivation when you connect with them.
If you have some insights to share about your current social circle and how it affects you, I’d love it if you’d drop me a message via my contact form and tell me more about your situation, so I can ponder how I might be of service to you. I’d love to know what aspects aren’t working for you yet and if you have some clarity on what kinds of improvements you’d love to see in this area of life. We’re still in the formative stages of developing the course, and we’re going to co-create the lessons as we go with those who enroll. For previous courses, entire lessons were created because one person asked for help with a specific issue.
YouTubing
I also intend to get more into video in 2022. Inside CGC we’re forming a YouTubers mastermind group for members who want to upgrade their video skills and build up their YouTube channels. This has been getting some enthusiastic interest since a number of members feel the time is right for them to invest in this direction too.
I have about 55 videos on my YouTube channel, but that averages out to less than 5 per year since I did my first videos in 2009. I’ve dabbled with YouTube but haven’t invested a whole lot in it. I’d like to explore doing more with it in 2022, and I’ve already been making some upgrades and doing some prep in that direction. I’m very comfortable on camera, especially from doing so many Zoom calls and live events, but I’d like to explore how I can express more creativity through editing and other improvements too. Plus that will give me a chance to give my new MacBook Pro to the test – I’ve been loving it so far.
If getting into video is a match for you too, you might want to join us in CGC this year. We open for new members to join during just one week per year, which is always the last week of April. So mark your calendar around April 25th to check in with us then.
This is also a great time to set some goals and intentions for the upcoming year. I especially encourage you to think about your life in terms of relationships – like your relationship with your work, your relationship with your body, your relationship with your social circle, etc. Then think about what kinds of upgrades you’d like to invite in these relationships, focusing on what you want to experience internally. For instance, this year I intend to make the experience of video creation more fun, expressive, original, playful, and social.
In November I did a 30-day challenge regarding ideation, sharing progress updates in the CGC forums as I went along. My version of the challenge was to generate 100+ divergent ideas per day for each day of November. My intention was to stimulate some thinking in new directions.
Most of the ideas I generated weren’t useful. However, some notable ideas did lead to interesting results, as I shared in CGC along the way. One I’ll share here is that I ended up diving into the rabbit hole of figuring out how to set up a decent home theater system, which is a project I’ve wanted to do for a while but always found intimidating in the past. It seems like there are endless rabbits in there with so many options and combinations to consider.
I began by watching lots of YouTube videos about home theater systems and components, starting in late November. That was quite the educational experience. There was so much I didn’t know. I learned more about speakers, amps, subwoofers, and other audio tech in the past month than I ever knew before.
Within a few weeks, I gained enough knowledge and skills to put together a very nice new 7.2.4 Dolby Atmos system that works great. This includes Focal Chora speakers, a Yamaha Aventage RX-A8A receiver / amplifier, and dual SVS PB-3000 subwoofers.
I even learned how to make speaker cables, so I made all the cables for the new system myself.
Here’s a pic of some speaker cables I made:
Here was my assembly space for the cables:
While I could have bought off-the-shelf cables, the ones I made are higher quality than most (due to using 12 gauge copper wife). This also made the experience more personally meaningful, and it’s nice to pick up an interesting new skill that I never had before. I like that I can make cables for whatever length I desire.
Inviting Reality to Fund the Project
All-in the new home theater system was about $15K. Now I could have just bought everything outright, but that would have been boring, right? So I also used the November ideation challenge to come up with an idea to fully fund the project with an extra income source.
Partly I figured that reality could set the budget based on how well that income idea worked. I wasn’t really attached to how much to spend on the home theater project, especially since just about any improvement was going to be a meaningful upgrade.
So in late November I did a little income-generating project, which brought in more than enough to cover the whole cost of the upgrade. This involved doing a Black Friday offer just for newsletter subscribers, which I’d never done before. That brought in more than $21K extra in less than a week. It’s also good to know that people liked it, so this was a very nice win-win idea.
Even though this home theater project may seem like a totally personal endeavor, I’ve so often found that when I explore these rabbit holes that are personally meaningful for me, and perhaps no one else will care about or benefit from my exploration, that is so rarely the case. Such personal pursuits pretty much always have a tendency to loop around into new insights, ideas, and inspirations that do create positive ripples for others too. That’s one reason I like to give myself a lot of leeway to do these kinds of experiments.
I must say that it felt like reality provided a generous amount of support for this endeavor. Everything I needed felt into place pretty nicely.
Along the way I realized that the home theater project is a great metaphor for being more intentional. Instead of setting monophonic intentions, this change to my home will serve as a constant reminder to set immersive “surround sound” intentions.
Here are some thoughts on how to connect the different components of a home theater system with different types of intentions.
TV
The television displays the moving picture of what you’re seeing and experiencing. This is your portal into the present reality of what’s happening right here, right now, right in front of you.
The TV reminds you to keep setting present moment intentions, even as you take action. Face and deal with what’s right in front of you, and clarify your intentions for what kind of experience you want to have.
Do your best to bring intentionality to each moment. Adjust your intentions as you act out your story scene by scene. Participate directly in the action flow of life.
Receiver / Amp
The receiver / amplifier takes source signals as input, processes and amplifies them, and transmits them to the speakers to create sound.
The receiver reminds you to tune in and receive inspiration. Invite inspiration with intentionality. Ask life or reality to send you some inspired ideas, either generally or in a specific direction.
Don’t limit yourself to plain vanilla, obvious goals. Realize that you can stream inspired ideas from a variety of sources. Check out a few different streams, and then decide which streams to explore with greater intentionality.
Do your best to stay attuned to the flow of inspiration. Keep refreshing your alignment with your favorite source signals. Don’t get caught up in watching uninspired programming.
Front Mains
The left and right front mains define the boundaries of center stage. They hold the space for the front and center action, music, and dialogue. The mains anchor the story directly in front of you.
Realize that your intentions have some width to them. You always have options for how to proceed next. Sometimes you may continue straight ahead as you expected, while other times you may need to pan a bit left or right to advance the scene.
Good mains create a wide and immersive soundstage whereby the speakers essentially disappear, and you cannot localize the sound as coming from any one speaker. Good intentions give you direction while granting access to an array of options for advancement, so you’re not overly constrained. Just as you don’t want to fixate on just one or two speakers, it’s wise to avoid fixating on only one or two ways in which your goals can manifest. Let your soundstage on intentionality open up more.
Set intentions to open an expansive field of exploration in front of you. Don’t limit yourself to a narrow, overly linear and predictable path because that would create boring (and demotivating) story. Invite advancement in a worthy direction while giving yourself plenty of opportunity to swerve left or right as needed.
Give your intentionality reasonable boundaries, so you still have a pretty clear direction even as you explore. Dive into the story that’s unfolding in front of you, but don’t give yourself so much leeway that you abandon the story altogether and lose your connection to the soundstage of motivation.
Center
This is the front-and-center part of the soundstage. A key purpose of the center channel is to provide crisp and clear dialogue.
The center channel is a reminder to interactively dialogue with life. Listen to life’s feedback, converse with life to deepen your understanding, and keep communicating your intentions and your feedback with life as you go. You always have a direct line of communication with life, so keep the dialogue channel open.
Speak your intentions aloud. Put your intentions front and center in your life. Make sure they’re always right in front of you, so you can’t lose sight of them. Make your intentions crisp, clear, and ever-present. Don’t keep your intentions locked away in some remote corner of your mind.
Side Surrounds
The side surrounds help to envelope you in a sound field from the sides. They also provide a sense of movement as sounds flow from front to back or vice versa. They help you feel aligned with the timing of a scene.
Just as sounds tend to traverse through the side fields instead of lingering there, this is a reminder to allow events and circumstances to pass through your experiential field instead of keeping them stuck. Allow whatever is misaligned to flow past you, so you can release it. Invite aligned experiences to flow towards center stage, so you can fully experience them.
Remember that the soundscape of your life is always in flux. You must release the misaligned to allow space for the aligned to flow through. Don’t be clingy with the misaligned. Keep the side channels open, and do your best to prevent and clear pile-ups of stuck energy.
The side surrounds remind you to set intentions for releasing, not just for adding. What must be shed or dropped in order to create space for the new?
The soundscape of your life is only so big. You cannot pack everything into it all at once without creating a cacophonous mess. It’s important to go with the flow of a scene, allowing some elements to recede so others can take center stage. The side surrounds remind you that in order to gain the new, you must also be willing to release the old. No scene gets to hold center stage forever.
Rear Speakers
The rear speakers provide presence from behind you. They define the back of the sound field.
The rears remind you to invite reality to back you up. Invite support from others. Invite whatever kind of backup you need or desire.
You do not have to go it alone. Life is here to support you. Invite all the support you could ever want at the level of intentionality.
Even when you begin with the most selfish intentions, also consider the framing that makes your intentions good for others and good for life. Upgrade your solo intentions into win-win intentions that create positive ripples in the world. Give life and other people worthy reasons to back you up.
Remember at the very least that whatever you gain for yourself can be turned into a win for others simply by teaching people what you’ve learned or by sharing what you’ve experienced along the way.
Overheads / Heights
Overhead or height speakers add three-dimensionality to a soundscape, like the sound of a helicopter flying above. They free you of the limits of two-dimensional sound and create the experience of being fully inside of an immersive sound bubble.
What is the upper level of your intentionality space? What intentions feel like they’re flying overhead, but you can’t necessarily grasp them right now?
The overhead speakers remind you to set high-level intentions, not just at the ground level. Reach for the sky, and stretch beyond the plane of practicality and accessibility. What aspects of your intentions are so high up that you cannot currently reach them, even if you stretch your arms as high as you can?
Don’t chain yourself to what seems realistic. Be aspirational too. Be willing to reach for the unreasonable. Remember that more is possible.
Even intentions that you cannot reach can provide value by adding to the overall immersive effect. It’s important for some part of your intentionality to reach beyond your grasp. Remember you can set intentions far beyond the plane of accessibility. Make sure that some of your intentions are high above the ground level, so you can hear what’s flying overhead.
Subwoofer
This is the deep bass of the system. It adds richness and detail to deep voices and sounds. It provides the frequencies that the other speakers cannot generate.
The subwoofer also creates the booming sounds and LFEs (low-frequency effects) like those stimulating chest-pounding pressure waves. It adds vibes of power and explosiveness. It’s the largest and heaviest speaker in the system.
A subwoofer adds liveliness and fun. It keeps you awake. It can rattle the walls and shake the house when cranked up high enough. If turned up too high, it will disturb the neighbors and generate unwanted side effects. But used in a measured way, it can add a lot of richness and extra stimulation.
The subwoofer blows up your old reality, demolishing what doesn’t belong. It thrives in the domain of the boldest and most intense action. It invites you to accept that some people will likely resist the fullest exploration of your intentionality, and you can simply let them whine while you enjoy yourself anyway. If you crank the subs up loud enough, you won’t even hear anyone banging on your door anymore.
Think of the subwoofer as infusing your intentions with raw power and explosiveness. This is a reminder to make your intentions fun, engaging, immersive, and edgy. Be willing to invite more risk, leaning into the space of potentially disturbing or upsetting other people. Invite disruption of the status quo. If you’re not particularly fond of the status quo, demolish it. Playing is safe all the time is weak.
To set a good subwoofer intention, access the part of you that feels bold, courageous, and disruptive. Access the part of you that’s ready to set the misaligned ablaze. Let go of the need to satisfy other people’s expectations, and incorporate what you find most stimulating. You can still be careful not to overdo it when a measured response seems wise, but give yourself enough room to throw caution to the wind and crank up the power when that seems like the most viable way to get the job done.
What do you think?
I still have a few more tweaks to do to the new system, such as using the Room EQ Wizard app to tweak the EQ, but I really like it so far. It’s a huge upgrade over what we had before. I love the clarity and detail of the Focal speakers, especially combined with the deep bass extension of the dual subs. The receiver provides ample power for all channels without needing any extra amps.
I’m glad we live in a house with well-insulated walls and double-paned windows. We absolutely couldn’t run this system if we were in an apartment or condo.
Our previous system was mainly just a TV and a pair of HomePods, so basically a 2.0 system. I feel like we skipped ahead several levels by advancing to a 7.2.4 Atmos setup, but I do tend to be all-in-or-nothing in many of my explorations. I find it fun to go into full immersion mode and really upgrade my knowledge and skills. I learned so much that I knew nothing about before. I spent hours just learning about the difference between ported and sealed subs, for instance.
What I found most challenging about this project was not having a good local outlet for being able to sample all the different possibilities with my ears before deciding what to get. I relied a lot on other people’s reviews and opinions. That can be pretty subjective, but when I found consistent impressions shared by different sources, that helped me make decent decisions. I also reminded myself that there’s an undo button for everything since I could return or exchange anything that didn’t work out. Now that I can hear the results, I’m pretty pleased with the specific choices I made.
I also learned something interesting about Rachelle along the way, namely that she’s quite the basshead. I had thought the dual PB-3000 subs would be a bit overkill if we cranked them up, but I wanted to have that excess headroom for really good bass detail. Rachelle, however, really enjoys the powerful bass slam that can be felt, not just heard. The Witcher’s season 2 finale was really over-the-top in that regard. With dual subs you really can’t localize the bass, so it sounds like it’s coming from all around, making it feel like there are monsters stomping and chomping in the same room with you. It’s downright scary at times.
This upgrade also showed me how much I’ve been missing. Rewatching old shows with an immersive sound field completely changes the experience. Instead of feeling like I’m watching a movie, I feel like I’m inside of it. The experience is a lot more emotional. Watching The Witcher or The Wheel of Time or The Expanse becomes is so much more intense now. Any Avengers movie is pretty awesome too.
Even more subdued shows feels more engaging too… like if a show is cozy, it feels even cozier when I can hear rainfall or birds coming from behind me and off to the sides.
I found this upgrade to be a nice reminder that reality is willing to offer us richer levels of engagement if we’re willing to reach out and invite it. A good place to begin is by setting surround sound intentions. If you’re going to invite a change, then really invite it. Don’t half-ass your intentionality with overly narrow mono or stereo versions. Open up your intentionality soundstage, and invite the full sensuality and emotionality of your desires. Intend what you need to shift right now. Intend long-term changes. Intend to release what you’ll surely need to release. Intend the support you’ll need. Intend to fully immersive yourself in a new way of living. Intend positive ripples beyond yourself.
After upgrading the home theater system, I also went a bit further by upgrading my home office sound system, including a new amp and speakers and some monitoring headphones to use for audio and video editing. I often find it wise to keep flowing with this upgrade energy while it lasts since it can be efficient to let it cascade into related upgrades as well.
Additionally, Rachelle and I sold our old couch and upgraded to a much nicer one. I’ve been sitting on it while writing this blog post, nice and cozy by the fireplace. So with all of the upgrades we did in the past 30 days, cost-wise it pretty much added up to the extra income manifested from the Black Friday idea. Needless to say, I’m really glad I did that ideation challenge – beyond what I’ve shared here, there were a bunch of other positive side effects from that challenge as well. It was a great way to break through some old mental constraints.
One tip here is that if you’ve ever gotten stuck trying to manifest money, try manifesting it in connection with a fun project, such that the money will immediately fund the project. I think reality gets bored with vanilla requests for money, such as to pay rent. See if you can make the request more playful. My experience is that reality absolutely loves playful requests. It also loves to reward exploration.
I find it especially important to pay attention to whatever forms of inspiration keep knocking on my mind, especially those ideas that I keep dismissing but which keep circling back to me, like they’re taunting me to finally give them some serious attention. This home theater project has been knocking on my mind for years, and it feels really good to have finally invested in it. I like that this project improves my relationship with a part of reality that I appreciate, such as enjoying movies with Rachelle.
Yesterday I brainstormed a list of reframes that I’ve found useful at various times for exploring a better social life. I shared this in the Conscious Growth Club forums and felt that it would be nice to share it here as well.
A frame (or reframe) is a way of looking at reality and assigning meaning to events and experiences, similar to an attitude or perspective.
A frame is not a belief. You don’t have to believe a frame to use it effectively. Much like any hardware tool such as a hammer or drill, you can use a frame for a short time and release it again when you’re done.
Here’s the list. Skim through it, and consider what testing some of these reframes could do for your relationships and social life. Feel free to modify them to better suit your situation and goals.
I don’t need to break the ice with anyone since there is no ice.
Treat people like we’re already friends, and we probably will become so.
I’m holding an open and receptive vibe.
Opportunities to connect are everywhere.
Statements are often better than questions.
People don’t need to fear a harsh rejection from me.
If I’m not interested, I will let people down easy.
I’m more socially comfortable than most people. I needn’t worry about my comfort. It’s better to focus on theirs.
Most people want to have quality connections with others.
We’re all a part of life.
We’re a lot more alike than we are different.
I have a lot to offer people intellectually, emotionally, conversationally, etc.
I like it when people are friendly with me.
All of this is temporary – this life, these people, these experiences, this planet – all of it.
I’m here because all of my ancestors had sex.
An approach that lands horribly with one person might absolutely delight another.
[When speaking in front of a group] The audience and I are on the same side since we all want to have a good experience.
Humor and music are great for helping people bond and harmonize.
I laugh every day.
What’s interesting about this person?
If I satisfy people’s expectations, they won’t remember much. People remember the unexpected.
What’s my intention for this interaction?
My intentions are good.
I like myself. What would be the point in not liking myself? That would only fragment my mind.
I have many voices within me. One job of my conscious mind is to create harmony among them.
It’s not my own nervousness or anxiety that I’m feeling. It’s coming from other people. How can I put them at ease?
Sharing the parts I most want to hide can be the best way to connect with people.
I’ll keep getting better with practice.
My future self has already figured this out.
My future self already has this skill.
My future self is perfectly comfortable in this situation.
There’s nothing to be ashamed of.
If God made me and then objects to how I choose to live, God’s an ass and unworthy of my respect.
I will never really know how this reality works at a base level.
More is possible.
I’m here to learn and grow.
Women choose me first and drop clues if they’re interested. The best matches come when I recognize this.
The easiest way to see if I have good physical chemistry with a woman is when we kiss.
Many people tend to be very concerned about judgment. If I can put them at ease about that, they’ll be far more open and honest.
I can trust my intuition.
It’s easy for people to trust me.
People love to tell me things they don’t feel comfortable telling anyone else, including their spouses, since they know I won’t judge them for it.
My social path is invariably going to be unique and creative.
The best models and frames are the ones I figure out for myself. I can learn bits and pieces from others, but I still have to personalize them to play to my strengths.
The point of life is to appreciate the heck out of it.
Whatever I do that leads to rejection from one direction also spins up fresh invitations from another direction.
Make it easy for the misaligned to reject me.
When people reject me, they’re doing me a favor, freeing up my energy to explore better sources of alignment.
As long as I keep exploring and setting aligned intentions for connecting, I’m never really going to need to worry about being alone.
The more honest I can be about my desires and intentions, the easier it is for good matches to recognize me.
I like what I like.
What’s stopping me from sharing this intention publicly?
I want a social circle that’s richly abundant in mutual appreciation.
Look for alignment at the level of intention first.
One reason that non-procreative sex exists is that it’s good for communication pathways, which creates stronger and healthier communities. When people have sex, they’re more likely to talk to each other.
I feel compersion for others when they get what they want.
It feels amazing to help people surpass me. Then I can learn from them too. Isn’t that the basis of fabulous friendship and teamwork?
It’s fun to make people feel good.
Life is an endless flow of invitations.
I feel right at home here.
If someone is getting better or easier results, they’re likely using more effective frames than me. What are those frames? How could I learn them and then test them?
I absolutely must avoid framing myself into a corner. It’s critical to keep the reframing pathways open and flexible.
My long-term happiness and fulfillment must really piss off my critics.
If I ever feel a bit disconnected or confused, an easy way to feel reintegrated into the positive flow of life is to share something with the purest of intentions, such as by writing a new article with the desire to help someone out there who might appreciate it.
People have beauty within them that longs to be seen and acknowledged.
There’s a lesson in every social experience.
Fun is my birthright.
People tend to gravitate toward people who are having fun since they know they’ll enjoy themselves too if bonded with similar people.
Fun is directly proportional to learning.
My highest destiny is to be myself, fully and completely.
I am assembling my own social reality right here, right now. The quality of that reality depends on how much truth I can stand while creating it.
I am beautiful in my own unique way, even when people disagree with me or don’t like what I do (or say) to them; therefore, their approval is not a prerequisite for living life the way that feels right and best to me.
This moment is perfectly designed as it is right now, as all moments in the past and future are too. There’s nothing to fix or change, other than trying to stop resisting this moment.
I don’t need to live up to anyone else’s standards (no matter how high they might be). All that matters is living up to my own values and standards that I’ve chosen for myself when it comes to me being true and genuine – that’s all the approval I’ll ever need because it’s self-approval and thus unconditional and limitless in scope.
When I open up space for new things to enter into my life, I’m open to new opportunities that will benefit me in some way.
Maintaining good boundaries is essential for allowing the best matches to continue showing up in my life.
Abundance isn’t about how much stuff I have or how many people are chasing me; it’s about my energy level and willingness to explore new ideas and opportunities with others who share compatible levels of curiosity and enthusiasm.
The world is filled with beautiful surprises just waiting to be discovered at every moment!
I don’t have to waste my time on people if they don’t appreciate how awesome I am, because there are so many other people who would love to have me as their friend or companion, and they’re out there right now waiting for me to find them!
The more clarity I have about who I really am and what I want, the more energy flows through this path toward its ultimate destination of an awesome life experience or manifestation in physical reality!
The more fun I have, the easier everything gets!
The more people can successfully talk about their goals and desires without encountering the usual knee-jerk shaming, the more likely they are to achieve them.
I don’t really need anyone else’s permission to get what I want out of life.
Any person who rejects me is simply an opportunity for me to learn how not to connect with that type in the future, which will make it far easier for me to connect with others instead.
Negativity is a gift from the universe that tells me which intentions no longer serve my highest good at this time.
I can always tell when something isn’t working by how much resistance I encounter doing it. If there’s lots of resistance then I know to stop and let go of that pattern immediately!
When people are right for me, they really do show up as if by magic – and then disappear once their purpose has been completed too (after which point it doesn’t make sense to try to contact them). They’re right for me when they give me the experiences I’m looking to learn from – and then poof, they’re gone.
We are all interconnected through invisible threads of social energy. When we create positive interactions with others, our own well-being is enhanced as well as theirs, because there is only one of us here!
It feels fabulous to make an effort and know it’s appreciated by someone else. That appreciation returns back to me in a ripple effect called karma that often brings other people into my life who appreciate me too!
The best way for an interaction to go poorly is for me to try and force something that just isn’t going to happen naturally or easily between us.
The only way people are going to find out about my desires and intentions is if I tell them directly, clearly, and vulnerably up front, rather than expecting them somehow to read my mind weeks into the future.
If I want to be liked, it means I’m not taking good enough care of myself.
The more clearly defined / specific my desires and intentions, the easier time people will have understanding what they are and how to interact with me accordingly (and vice versa).
People will only ever invite me into their lives if there’s something in it for them too.
The more I can enjoy the moment, the more I’m able to give my full energy out into it and pick up on what other people want as well.
I allow myself the freedom to be a dancing monkey and also a wise old sage according to what being a dancing monkey or being a wise old sage requires of me at any given time – because both are natural for me – and it takes zero energy away from either role to play the other as well.
This person is already seeing parts of me they like.
This person knows exactly what I am and isn’t sure what to do about it yet.
The most important thing in life is love and connection among people who mutually respect one another, who like each other enough to be open with each other without fear of rejection or betrayal.
Even if I don’t have much to say, I can still offer people energy.
It’s okay to be weird!
In truth I only wrote up the first 65 reframes on the list above. Some of those I learned and adapted from other people, and some I figured out on my own.
I did not, however, write reframes 66-101. Those were all AI-generated. I fed my original list of 65 into an AI creative writing tool based on GPT-3, and I had it generate many more related reframes. Then I filtered out the weakest ones, keeping those I found most interesting. Did you notice a difference when you passed #65 on the list? One difference I noticed is that AI likes using exclamations marks a lot more than I do. It also seems a bit wordier in expressing itself.
I found some of the AI-generated reframes pretty interesting. For instance, #92 on the list is an interesting take on self-care, suggesting that if you’re concerned about being liked by others, maybe this points to a deficiency in your own self-care routine. Perhaps if you took better care of yourself, you’d be less concerned about being liked, and you’d probably come off as more naturally likable too.
Note that reframes are not truths; they’re just perspectives, so we can test and try them out to see what they do for us – no belief necessary.
Ponder some of the social reframes on this list, and pull out or highlight the ones that seem most interesting to you. Then give them a test next time you find yourself engaging in some type of social interaction. When you use a good reframe, you’ll find yourself behaving a bit differently, and that can shift the results you experience.
When some aspect of life feels forced, and you have to push through with a lot of discipline to make progress, it might mean that the timing is wrong for you. If you feel like putting it off, maybe do exactly that.
Other people may tell you that you need to advance some area of life now, but is that absolutely necessary?
When I was in high school, I loved math and invested lots of extra time in it, so I improved at math more quickly than in other subjects. I got A+’s in my math classes, but that still wasn’t enough for me. I befriended the school’s best math teachers and did extra projects with them. I was eager to learn anything else they could introduce me to, so I learned a lot more than the standard curriculum.
Following my passion helped me become a stand-out student, and that was instrumental in my becoming Captain of our school’s first Academic Decathlon team and President of the Math Club. More opportunities fell into my lap with little resistance as I simply pursued what I enjoyed. I received glowing letters of recommendation for college with phrases like “best student in my career” and “this kid is a heavyweight.”
I didn’t invest extra time and energy in math because I was outcome-focused. I did it because I enjoyed the discovery process. Learning more about math connected with my interest in computer programming, so every bit of extra math I learned gave me an excuse to dabble in more coding experiments. The more math I learned, the more I could do coding-wise. So this was really fueled by the joy of the exploration.
Contrast this with history classes, which I found boring and tedious. I still got A’s in those classes, but I did the minimum to achieve that. Studying history at that time felt forced, effortful, and pointless. I cared more about the grades for those classes than the knowledge. I framed those classes as “nap time” or “snooze fests.” I especially dreaded being assigned history papers to write. I didn’t like reading about dead people and their past problems, and I certainly didn’t care to write about them. Everything I did for this subject felt like a waste of time.
And I was generally right about that. It was a relative waste of time for me to study history at that particular time in my life. It mostly just slowed me down from investing even more in what I genuinely cared about. History was a drag that added friction to my learning experience. I think I would have enjoyed and appreciated the educational experience a lot more without it.
Procrastination vs. Flow
When I got home from school, I usually did my math homework first. If I had long-term assignments in math, I’d typically do them the first day they were assigned, and I’d turn them in early. I never seemed to procrastinate on math.
With history it was the opposite. I put off assignments till the last minute, often having to stay up late to finish them (or to finally start them) the night before they were due. That was stressful, but I couldn’t get myself to even look at those assignments any earlier than necessary. I felt such tremendous resistance towards them.
So what was the point in doing those history assignments with that mindset? In reality it was pretty pointless. I did the assignments to satisfy other people’s expectations and to avoid getting in trouble. My brain quickly forgot whatever I was supposed to be learning, considering it useless info and unworthy of retention or integration. The A’s I got in history classes were hollow accomplishments; they were more like receipts for enduring punishments.
If you dread working on something, how productive are you really? What if instead of forcing yourself to attempt the dreadful path, you flowed your energy towards something that truly inspired you? Note that what inspires you may not even seem like work at all. It will probably seem a lot more like play, which may initially trigger some feelings of guilt, like you’re playing too much and not being productive.
I find it much better to let other people resist my playful approach to productivity, since I can still be productive while they’re being skeptical. It’s much harder to be productive while I’m feeling resistance to the task at hand. So I’ve learned to prioritize my relationship with my work above my relationship with other people’s approval of my approach.
Shifting Passions
Over the decades since high school, I experienced shifts in my passions, as many people do. Subjects I once hated eventually seduced me, including history and public speaking. When I was in high school, I didn’t anticipate that. I didn’t imagine that I’d ever enjoy studying history or giving speeches.
These days I like learning about history, and I do so voluntarily. I read new history books often, and I make a concerted effort to fill in gaps in my knowledge regarding how different parts of the world have been evolving over time. I care about this subject because I have a different context for it today. In high school studying history seemed like a waste of time, and it was. But today I can connect the dots between what I learn about history with my personal development work. I have places to slot this knowledge that I didn’t have before, so the learning experience today is a lot richer.
I also have the freedom to skip the dreadful parts of learning and focus on the parts I enjoy. I don’t have to write pointless papers on subtopics I don’t care about, just so someone else can grade me. Instead I can go for a walk and ponder the ideas in my own way. I can journal about them. Sometimes I will integrate what I learn about history into new articles or course lessons. Whereas studying history was impractical in high school, today I can study it in a much more meaningful way.
Moreover, I can also visit places in person. Last month I stood inside Independence Hall, where the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution were debated and signed. I walked the streets where Ben Franklin and George Washington used to walk. I thought about what it might have been like to live during the 1700s and face the problems and challenges they faced. That gave me a different perspective than I’d ever get from a book. I also gained a different perspective on democracy, and why it’s coming under such strain today.
So I’ve learned that ruling out an area of investment doesn’t rule it out for life. I can circle back to it if and when I’m ready. What may feel like a nagging “should” for many years may feel like a delightful gift further down the road. If I invest at the wrong time, I’m probably just going to waste a lot of energy.
Favoring the Choicest Investments
When I invest in a genuine passion or interest, I can advance more quickly and easily. The experience is more fun and engaging and less stressful. I experience less fatigue, and I have more endurance. My brain absorbs and retains knowledge more readily, eager to connect the dots with my existing knowledge base. I’m happier, I’m more productive, and I feel more satisfied with the flow of my life.
So what’s the point in forcing advancement in a more sluggish and painful way? I don’t see a good reason to do that, except to appease others, so I try to live my life in such a way as to remove (or at least to savagely curtail) such obligations and expectations. I’m fine with committing myself to certain paths, including those that involve significant obligations, and long as I’m choosing what to offer and to whom, so I can ensure that my commitments align with my genuine interests.
Instead of developing a stronger tolerance for feelings of dread and anxiety, I think I’ve become more sensitive to such feelings, and I choose to honor them instead of trying to repress them.
Sometime I wonder how people are able to show up for jobs they dislike day after day. Perhaps they have other outlets for their passions, so it doesn’t feel so bad, just as I had my enjoyment of math to balance my resistance to history classes. Do we really need that kind of balance though?
I’m not saying we need to be perfect, but I think a healthy minimum standard for one’s career path would be to make it at least 50% passion work, so at least half of your time is spent doing activities you like and appreciate. I think that’s a fairly low standard though, so personally I prefer to aim for 90%+ in a typical week. I’d say that this month I’ve been pretty close to 100% so far.
I also know that what seems unappealing or even dreadful at one time in my life may become a lot more interesting at some future point. That which I once dreaded I may come to enjoy. A non-passion can transform into a passion. I’ve seen that happen repeatedly.
Passions too, can eventually burn out, and then fresh invitations arise to take their place. This is one reason I deliberately designed my career path with a huge amount of freedom and flexibility instead of boxing myself into some tiny niche. Some people thought that was a bad idea and said that I should “niche down,” but I’ve noticed that I seem to be a lot happier and more fulfilled than those who offer such unimaginative advice. How many times have I seen someone like that dreading their work after just a couple of years, whereas I still love and enjoy the richness and variety of my work in this field after 17+ years? I credit my past self with recognizing that I would eventually outgrow an overly narrow niche, and I’m glad he was wise enough to see that flexibility was essential for my long-term happiness.
Keeping Passion Fresh
Sometimes the way we do things grows stale, and we need to freshen up the approach to keep it interesting.
My latest project is designing a new online workshop that I’ll deliver on October 29-31, so a little over two weeks from now. I shared back in April that we’d be doing an online workshop on these days, and now I’m going through the design process to create it. This will be our first 100% online workshop, after having done 16 in-person workshops from 2009 to 2016. So that aspect alone helps to freshen up the experience, at least on the delivery side.
However, I’m also approaching the design process in a fresh and inspiring way. I’m using several AI creative tools (based on the GPT-3 language model) to help me design the workshop. The AI isn’t writing content for me. Instead I’m using it to explore the idea space more thoroughly than I otherwise would. I’ve been sharing updates about this in Conscious Growth Club for the past several weeks. I’m really enjoying this because it’s such a unique and modern experience. I like discovering where the AI is weak and where it’s strong, so I can combine its intelligence with my own to create an even better workshop. I’m well into the design process, and I really like how it’s shaping up. I’m also way ahead of schedule, much like I experienced with math classes back in the day.
What’s especially interesting about GPT-3, at least from my perspective, is that it was trained on about 10% of the Internet, including my blog, so it knows a lot about me, my past ideas, and my writing style. Hence I can even invite it to generate extra ideas that it thinks I might conceive of. Since I love to explore new approaches, I’m really enjoying this experience, and I find it super motivating to work on this project each day. I think it’s going to be very beneficial for the attendees as well. It’s a truly unique experience to work with an AI that was partly trained on my own creative work.
Consider how an AI like can look further ahead than humans in a game like Chess or Go (see the AlphaGo documentary on YouTube to learn more about this, which I highly recommend). On the one hand, some people may see this as dehumanizing or threatening, but that’s a weak and disempowering frame to use. A better frame is to realize that humans can collaborate with AI to become better players. They can discover new insights about a domain by using such AI as an exploration tool. For instance, in the game of Go, AlphaGo discovered new strategies and tactics that humans missed, including the most masterful Go players on earth. So this is a beautiful new mode of human-machine collaboration. Something similar happened in the Chess world.
If you’re entirely outcome-focused, then such an AI may seem like a threat, especially if it has the ability to beat you in achieving your desired outcome.
But if you’re more process-oriented, then you can leverage AI to enjoy the learning and discovery process even more. The AI will happily assist you in becoming a better player. I feel fortunate to have access to AI tools that have been trained in domains that interest me. GPT-3 is technically a language model, but as many people are discovering, that’s an oversimplification of its capabilities. I regard it as a fascinating tool for creative exploration within the space of ideas.
Instead of exploring strategies for the game of Go, I’m using AI tools to explore fresh ways to frame, structure, and present ideas for the upcoming workshop. The AI doesn’t help me work faster – in fact, my design process is a lot slower with it, which is why I’m giving myself lots of extra time for this project. But the AI helps me go a lot deeper. So I’m using it to create a better quality experience, and this aligns very nicely with savoring the creative journey.
With the AI’s help, I can generate and consider dozens of permutations of related ideas. I can explore how those ideas link together in many more ways. I can look further around the edges of ideas for related concepts that I might otherwise miss. I can leverage this type of AI to become better at my work. And in all honesty, I’m loving the experience, which I’ve been exploring for about six weeks now.
So I suppose that if you attend the October workshop – and I’ll share more details about that soon – you’ll be attending one of the first-ever personal growth events co-created with human and machine intelligence working together collaboratively. It’s going to be a unique experience, and since the AI has been trained on a vast amount of human knowledge, I think you’ll find it surprisingly human in terms of its depth.
So that’s an example of how I’ve been freshening up my passion. Much as I covered in the Amplify course earlier this year, I find it crucial to keep my creative processes fresh, interesting, and growth-oriented. To me this is inseparable from doing quality work. If I really enjoy the creative journey, the work turns out better, and this yields a better experience for those who partake of it.
Incidentally, if you want to get the details for the upcoming workshop via email, just make sure you’re signed up for my email list, and I’ll surely notify you and let you know how to sign up.
Choosing Enjoyment
Why try to force progress with painful lurching when you could invest in enjoyable and motivated flow instead? You’ll get better results from processes you enjoy instead of trying to use processes you resist. When you catch yourself dreading the tasks on your plate, question why you’re doing them at all. Would you still opt to do them if no one else cared whether you did them or not? Are you doing them to appease others? To avoid trouble? How much longer do you want to live your life that way?
When I work creatively with the AI tools, they never tell me what I should do. They don’t nag me to do something boring or tedious. They voice no expectations of me. They just show up and co-create with me, and they always let me lead, so I can relax and enjoy the flow of exploration and discovery. Why not develop this kind of relationship with life and work overall? If following other people isn’t working for you, you can lead yourself to a happier life. For many people that’s the only approach that works.
A good place to start is to set your intention. Many years ago I decided to do work that I enjoyed. I decided to run my business in a sustainably enjoyable way. A huge part of that included refusing to work with anyone I didn’t like working with. When life offered me the opposite, which it often did, I rejected those offers. I realized that I couldn’t be tempted by them if I wanted to be happy and fulfilled.
Back in high school, if I had felt as free to choose my path as I do now, I would have told my history teachers that I was declining their offer. I would have trusted and honored my feelings a lot more. At least today I can be grateful for how those lessons, among many others, helped me discover a lighter and more playful path forward.
Now please excuse me while I load up some alien intelligence to flow into some fun and lively design work. And stay tuned for more details on the upcoming workshop…
If you don’t want to use stress or anxiety as your primary motivational fuel, what kind of fuel would you like to use instead? What can you say about your desired fuel source for taking action and getting results?
I like to think of spending a day at an amusement park as a good analogy for my ideal type of work motivation.
When Rachelle and I spend a few days together at Disneyland, we always take a lot of action and have days full of fun together.
We don’t need anxiety, fear, or worry to motivate us to act.
We virtually never go for just one day. We typically go for 3-4 days in a row. This eliminates any feelings of scarcity since whatever we miss one day, we could easily do on a different day. Especially when we go on weekdays, this gives a sense of time abundance, so we can go at a relaxed pacing and not feel stressed or pressured.
Our intentions are simple: Enjoy the day. Have experiences we’ll appreciate. Spend time outside. Walk a lot. Enjoy tasty vegan food. Play together. Be silly. Create beautiful memories. Help others have good experiences too.
I’ve probably spent close to 100 days of my life at Disneyland. I’ve been going there every decade since the 1970s. Not once have I ever just sat there and procrastinated. I always took lots of action. I always put many miles on my shoes. I always felt pleasantly motivated to keep taking action and having different experiences all day long.
That made me super curious. Why is it that Disneyland is so good at motivating me to take action – all day, every day… even for 30 days in a row without a day off and not feeling like I need a break?
As I looked more closely at pre-existing sources of motivation that I liked, I generalized and abstracted the patterns from them. Then I injected more of those successful patterns into other areas of life, like my creative projects. This included strengthening qualities like curiosity, exploration, immersion, playfulness, variety, stimulation, making projects social, etc. I gradually discarded the fuel sources that didn’t work well, such as old patterns I learned from school that involved dull assignments, time pressure, and a huge disconnection from meaning and purpose.
Have you ever had a day where you found yourself taking lots of action with ease? Have you ever encountered a source of motivation that felt very aligned and pleasant? If so, study the heck out of that. See if you can have similar experiences again, and observe those experiences from the inside. Discover why that works so well for you, even if such experiences have been rare in your life so far. Then do your best to abstract and transplant similar qualities into your approach to work and other parts of life.
In other words, instead of trying to force yourself to run on a misaligned fuel source, identify the best fuel sources you’ve found so far, and inject them into your life on a much grander scale. Isn’t this what we’d like the planet to do as well – to replace nasty and stinky fuel with green and clean fuel?
When I was a kid, there was a huge contrast between a day at school and a day at Disneyland. School was dreadfully boring but also fun. Disneyland days were fun but scarce. If I could have made a free choice back then, there’s no way I’d ever have chosen a day of school if I could have chosen Disneyland instead. Back then I didn’t have that option, but today I can discover and use whatever motivational fuel suits me best. I don’t have to settle for boring work days. I can do my work in a way that’s fun and engaging for me.
When I’m at Disneyland, I have no boss, so in my work life, I don’t have a boss either. It’s more fun and rewarding to make my own decisions about what to do next. Then I can follow my natural motivational flow wherever it takes me, just like I’d always do at Disneyland.
At Disneyland there’s no fixed schedule (except for some optional shows and parades). So I schedule very few items on my calendar. Most days my calendar is blank. I appreciate having most of my days free of any appointments.
At Disneyland I’m surrounded by a field of perpetual invitations. There are always plenty of interesting things to explore. So I like having a work life rich in interesting experiences to explore. I want to feel like there are plenty of good invitations present at all times.
At Disneyland I’m surrounded by playful people who are enjoying themselves. Is that so hard to create in one’s work life too? It starts by saying no to the opposite.
At Disneyland I get to make tons of micro-choices, most of which will turn out well no matter which direction I go. These kinds of conditions can be recreated in business too, starting at the level of intention.
Today I would often rather work than go to Disneyland or go on vacation. I enjoy a work life that includes lots of exploration and stimulating creative work. I get to engage with growth-oriented people in Conscious Growth Club every day. I work at a pacing that feels good to me, speeding up when I want to go faster and slowing down when I prefer a more relaxed pacing. That didn’t happen by itself, and I didn’t begin my entrepreneurial journey with this mindset. Mostly I learned this the hard way, eventually concluding that trying to get myself to work productively based on my initial default approach was just awful.
Discovering better motivational fuel required leaning away from what I learned about work and life when I was younger. I had to discard the expectations and assumptions that had taught me to motivate myself with stress, worry, anxiety, time pressure, fear, competition, satisfying others’ expectations, money, etc. That was not easy because a part of me was conditioned to think it was irresponsible or impossible to expect work to be interesting, engaging, and highly motivating most of the time. It was only by delving deeper into that zone of trouble and dropping the unnecessary shame and guilt about it that I found much better and longer lasting motivational fuel.
Does any of this ring true for you as well? Have you been socially conditioned to steer away from your best sources of motivation, so you can be controlled more easily?
Do you ever worry that if you really leaned into your best motivational fuel, it might create some negative social consequences for you? Have you ever thought about simply letting those consequences play out?
One question that really got to me was: What kind of life will I live if I regularly – instead of rarely – use the power of my sparkiest motivational fuel?
I find that there’s a certain wildness to my best motivational fuel. I don’t have full control of it. I can’t just lock it into a set of fixed rules. Sometimes it will cooperate with structure, but other times it will rebel against too much structure because it loves to go with the flow, wherever that leads.
Working with your most powerful motivational fuel takes practice and patience, and your ability to understand and predict its behavior will improve over time. Initially you may not trust it, worrying that it may be too wild, too reckless, or too irresponsible and that it might get you into trouble. And initially that may indeed seem to be true. But the more you dance with this fuel source, the more you may come to trust it.
I felt like I had to go through a transitional phase first where this fuel source pulled me well out of my comfort zone to get me further away from my old assumptions and habits. It crushed the parts of my life that weren’t working well anyway, even though I resisted such purging at the time.
This powerful fuel showed me glimpses of what life could be like through peak experiences, and that left me with an even bigger contrast when I tried to lean back on old fuel sources that were far less stimulating.
Do you have to do this perfectly to improve your results? Nope. Even making small tweaks to your motivational fuel can make a meaningful difference. But imagine what could happen if the easygoing flow of inspired action became your everyday experience?
While it may seem indulgent to delve into experiences that motivate you with ease, I highly recommend it. I had some insightful breakthroughs by doing more of what I found naturally fun and motivating – and learning to do that guilt-free. This enabled me to keep improving other aspects of life, such that there isn’t such a huge contrast between work days and fun days anymore. Now I tend to enjoy both about equally well, just in different ways. And I don’t have to lean on stress or anxiety to self-motivate.
When you get in tune with the flow of your best motivational fuel, life is much easier and more enjoyable. Long-standing problems finally get solved as if they were no big deal to begin with. Scarcity leaves, and abundance becomes your new reality.
Remember that more is possible. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been stuck with weak motivational fuel. You can always switch to a different fuel source. Instead of using money as fuel, you could try meaning and purpose. Instead of using obligation, you could try heart-aligned service. Instead of using stress and worry, you could try fun and playfulness.
This is a deeply personal exploration. What fuels me may not fuel you. So don’t just assume you can copy my fuel sources and expect them to work for you equally well. Don’t look to Disneyland for motivational clues if you hate Disneyland. Look into your own past for the clues that life is giving you. Be grateful for the gift of those clues, and follow them to your own best sources of motivation.
I’ve been decluttering my garage for the past few weeks, so here are some decluttering tips I’ve figured out for processing, purging, and organizing, especially if you have a lot of old tech clutter to deal with.
Approach Decluttering with Patience
Just chip away at the project one item at a time, not worrying about how long it will take. It’s wise to approach such a project with great patience, allowing it to take as long as it wants to take without feeling any need to rush.
I put this project off for years because I could never squeeze it into any kind of schedule. I only made significant progress when I gave this project a totally open-ended schedule with no deadline, opting to do it right instead of trying to rush through it. Surrendering to the unpredictable duration of the project helped tremendously.
Switch Fully into Personal Mode
I could never make headway with this project when I was in work mode by default. I could only get it done by making it a priority, which meant that I also had to take a slice out of my year to prioritize my personal life above my business goals. That’s a hard thing for me to do, but I viewed and approached it as a personal growth exploration to see what it would be like to put my work life on the back burner and to elevate my personal goals for a while.
While working on this project, I haven’t written any articles, for instance. My last blog post was written 47 days ago, so that’s almost 7 weeks off from writing.
And actually it’s been wonderful. I feel like I should take a significant slice out of every year and do this sort of thing. I’ve been able to slide into non-work mode while traveling, but since I work from home, I found it hard to fully shift into personal mode while at home. Consequently, a lot of home-related and personal projects lingered near the bottom of my to-do list, starved for attention.
Mentally I could always say that I should be able to chip away at these projects on weekends and evenings, but that approach never got the job done. It’s been so much more effective to fully load in the context of doing such a personal project by treating it as my #1 priority for weeks on end. This really is a whole brain task, and by giving it my full attention, not merely my after-work attention, I’m finally getting it done in a way that feels good to me.
Focus on Relationships with Items
For each item, ask questions like these:
What do I want my relationship with this item to be?
Is it still meaningful to keep it?
How would I feel if I let this item go?
If I want to let it go, what’s an intelligent and regret-free way to process and release it?
I find the regret-free standard especially helpful.
Question Every Item
Invite each item to justify its worth and value to you. Don’t assume that you “should” keep anything just because you’ve held onto it for so long.
I finally let go of some items I’ve had since the 80s or 90s, such as an old tennis racket from high school. It felt good to finally release them, even though I’d previously assumed that I should always keep them.
Challenge some old rules about what you think you must keep. See if those rules still seem valid to you today. Don’t let old rules slide into your default thinking; reassess them anew.
I find it helpful to ask: What rule says I should keep this item?
I had a rule that said I should always keep old trophies and awards. But is that a necessity? No, it’s just a rule I inherited when I was in school. This time I finally purged some awards (like plaques) that weren’t particularly meaningful for me anymore, like from Toastmasters’ speech contests more than 15 years ago.
Process and Recycle Old Electronics
Do the proper research to figure out your best strategy for recycling old electronics. Once you have a process for handling these items, it’s much easier to face electronics clutter.
I learned that Best Buy stores are great for recycling old electronics since they’ve made a commitment to do a lot of tech recycling. They will accept a wide variety of items including old desktops, laptops, cables, mice, keyboards, hard drives, routers, printers, speakers, cameras, VCRs, video game systems, and more – and they’ll take almost everything for free. For details see: bestbuy.com/recycling
Amazon and Best Buy will both give you store credit for certain kinds of tech trade-ins. I traded in a 9-year old iPad (so old that it was limited to iOS 9 – we’re at iOS 14.7 today) and two old Apple TV boxes for some store credit at Best Buy. I traded in an old Sonos speaker and some wireless networking hardware for Amazon credit. Amazon will even pay for the shipping. You may get more money from using eBay, but this is super convenient if you just want to move some items out.
Amazon is a great place to find convenient interfaces for old tech if you want to transfer old data to new devices. For $15-25 you can get a USB interface adapter that can connect directly to 2.5″ and 3.5″ IDE and SATA drives, CD/DVD drives, and floppy disk drives. I had 6 old hard drives from PCs and laptops that I used from 2002 to 2007, and surprisingly all 6 drives still worked, even though most of the computers that housed them had long since died. It’s a simple matter to remove an old drive and connect it to a modern computer, normally requiring only a screwdriver.
Wipe Your Data
I read an article sharing that most people who resell old smart speakers (like Amazon Echo devices) don’t even factory reset their devices. At least do a factory reset before passing on a device, which is relatively easy to do. You can easily look up how to do that for any device with a simple online search.
Mac OS makes it really easy to wipe old hard drives securely by overwriting old data with 3 or even 7 passes to render the drive’s data irrecoverable. Just connect your drive, run “Disk Utility”, select the drive you want to erase, click “Erase”, select the desired security option, and go from there. The old drives I erased ranged from 20GB to 160GB, and it typically took a few hours to throughly erase each one.
Best Buy and other tech recycling places also have arrangements with companies that will destroy the drives for you. This is free at Best Buy while other places may charge a nominal amount. But it’s still a good idea to erase the drives before handing them in.
Alternatively, you can physically destroy an old drive yourself. There are instructions on how to do that in various ways, such as by hammering nails through the platters of old hard drives. Just be sure to wear good eye protection. Personally I think it’s better to let a tech recycling place handle this more professionally with the proper equipment.
Donate to Charity
If there’s a drop-off location near you for charitable donations, that can be a nice way to let go of items. There’s one just a few minutes from me, so I’ve dropped off a lot of items there.
Some charities will also come to your house and pick up items for free. In the past I’ve even donated two old cars this way. The cars wouldn’t even start, but an animal rights charity came by to tow each one away. The charity can still resell the car for some value, and they saved me the trouble of having to deal with it, so that’s a nice win-win.
I don’t like using eBay, so I didn’t use it for any part of this project, but that’s always an option if you like using the service.
Replace Items with Photos
If you want the memory of an item but would prefer to eliminate the clutter, take a photo of it (or several photos) before you let it go. See if it feels good enough to just keep the photo and release the physical item.
I’ve release a number of mildly sentimental items when I realized that a photo would be good enough to retain the memory.
Create the Emotional Vision for the Space
Framing a project as just decluttering can make it seem boring or tedious, so consider more appealing or inspiring frames. A good framing that helped me move my garage project forward was to think about transforming the space into a place in my home that I felt good about – a storage area that’s neat, clean, and nicely organized and that makes me feel relaxed and soothed when I’m there.
Another frame that works very well for me in general is to treat any project as some kind of upgrade. I’m very good at completing projects that I frame this way. So I’m not decluttering the garage; I’m upgrading it from a cluttered space to a well-organized part of my home. The entire project can also be framed as a series of small upgrades. I just find projects more motivating when I frame them as upgrades.
Thinking about how I wanted to emotionally feel inside the space was really helpful, and I think it led to better decisions regarding how to organize it. I could assess how I was doing by how I felt, and I kept taking small steps to align the space with better feelings.
As you make progress, keep asking questions like:
What part of this space still creates tension for me?
What part of this space evokes positive feelings in me?
Such questions can be very helpful for deciding which parts to process and upgrade next.
We actually spend a lot of time working on reframes in Conscious Growth Club each year because this is such a powerful and effective method for getting stuck energy moving again. A lot of people think they need to push themselves more to get certain projects done, but that isn’t necessary if you reframe your projects to better align with your natural motivation patterns.
Choose Storage Options That Feel Good to You
My garage didn’t have good storage for the items I wanted to store there, such as camping gear and workshop supplies. Consequently, many items were just lying on the floor of the garage when I began. Partway through the project, I browsed for storage options that would fit my needs and evoke the emotional response I was looking for.
I learned that Costco is a great place to find flexible storage solutions at reasonable prices. I got two sets of these metal shelves for $90 each in the local Costco store on sale. I like that they’re on wheels, which enabled me to commit to using them to organize some items (like camping gear) before I fully decided where I wanted the shelves to end up.
I found it especially helpful to set up these shelves earlier in the project than I initially expected because it allowed me to fully transform one portion of the garage into a nicely organized space. Even though other parts of the garage were still cluttered, upgrading one corner of it to be just how I wanted helped me really lock onto the vibe for how I wanted the whole space to feel. It was very encouraging to have part of the space feel like it was already done, even though other areas still had a ways to go.
Clean It
Cleaning and decluttering go hand-in-hand. Cleaning a space gives it a whole different feeling, like you’ve raised the standard for how that space is to be treated.
I’ve been giving the garage a thorough cleaning as I’ve been going along, including vacuuming up lots of dust and clearing out cobwebs, dead bugs, and leaves. It’s not pristine – it’s a garage after all – but the cleanliness upgrade definitely improves how I feel about the space.
Never Say “Should”
Keep asking:
What kind of relationship do I ultimately want to have with this space?
What next action would improve that relationship?
These questions can help you figure out what to do next. Never ask: What should I do next? There are no shoulds… just invitations and possibilities.
Embrace the Mental and Emotional Journey
Processing old possessions isn’t just a physical experience. It can be very mental and emotional. So many items can bring up memories and past associations.
I recommend letting yourself dwell in those thoughts and feelings, giving ample time to process them. You may think that this will slow you down, but it can have a very positive transformational effect as well.
I often felt like I was reconnecting with and reintegrating my past selves through this process. Somehow I feel more internally integrated as a result… and more grateful for the many experiences I’ve had. Processing old physical items helped me process old memories and some stuck energy, which gave me increased feelings of inner peace.
I hope these tips help someone who’s facing a similar decluttering (or upgrading) project.
This project has been going very well by the way. I’d say that I’m 80-90% done now. The garage has a whole different vibe – way better than when I first began. It’s been a surprisingly rewarding project, and it feels so good to reclaim that space for a better purpose than a graveyard of old stuff. Every time I donated or recycled something, I felt a sense of relief and a fresh vibe of possibility, like I’d freed up some energy that had been stuck for years.
Subjectively speaking, I also like to frame the purging of old items as releasing energy back to the Simulator, so that energy can be repurposed to simulate something more interesting. Why require the Simulator to waste cycles rendering old patterns that are no longer needed?
Receiving the top honours of a damehood are Bake Off star Prue and former Strictly Come Dancing judge and legendary choreographer Arlene Phillips.
Musical theatre star and Oscar-nominated actor Jonathan Pryce is also set to receive a knighthood – ahead of his debut as Prince Philip in the fifth series of the royal Netflix drama The Crown.
Gareth Cattermole/David M Bennett/Jeff Spicer/GettyPrue Leith, Arlene Phillips and Jonathan Pryce
Footballer Raheem Sterling is set to receive an MBE this year, for his work to promote racial equality in sport, with his England teammate Jordan Henderson also getting the same honour.
Patrick Elmont/UEFA/Getty/David M Bennett/Harry HerdRaheem Sterling, Robert Rinder and Alison Moyet
Several public figures will also receive CBEs, including TV presenter Sue Barker and singer Lulu.
Artist Edmund de Waal, Yes musician Rick Wakeman and former England manager Roy Hodgson are also among those who have been awarded CBEs.
Tristan Fewings/Cameron Spencer/John Walton/PA Images/GettyEdmund de Waal, Lulu and Sue Barker
It’s also been confirmed that rock singer Skin and children’s author David Almond will receive OBEs.
As well as public figures and celebrities, it’s also been noted that those who came together to prepare thousands of meals for key workers during the pandemic have been rewarded for their efforts in the Queen’s Birthday Honours list.
Members of the scientific community have also been recognised for pulling together to combat coronavirus.
It’s been reported that this year’s Birthday Honours list is the most diverse to date, both in terms of gender and race.
Stars from the small screen turned out in all their finery for the annual Bafta TV Awards on Sunday.
Michaela Coel’s I May Destroy You, Sir Steve McQueen’s Small Axe anthology series and royal drama The Crown lead the nominations at this year’s event.
See the stars arriving on the red carpet…
Michaela Coel
Tim P. Whitby via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Michaela Coel attends the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 06, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images)
Oti Mabuse
Karwai Tang via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Oti Mabuse arrives for the Virgin Media Bafta TV Awards at Television Centre on June 06, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by Karwai Tang/WireImage)
Billie Piper
David M. Benett via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Billie Piper arrives at the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 6, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Bimini Bom Boulash, Lawrence Chaney and A’Whore
David M. Benett via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: (L to R) Bimini Bon Boulash, Lawrence Chaney and A’Whora arrive at the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 6, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Golda Rosheuvel
Dave J Hogan via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Golda Rosheuvel attends the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 06, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by Dave J Hogan/Getty Images)
Helena. Bonham Carter
David M. Benett via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Helena Bonham Carter arrives at the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 6, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Siena Kelly
David M. Benett via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Siena Kelly arrives at the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 6, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Nicola Coughlan
David M. Benett via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Nicola Coughlan arrives at the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 6, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Paul Mescal
Ian West – PA Images via Getty ImagesPaul Mescal arrives for the Virgin Media BAFTA TV awards at the TV Centre, Wood Lane, London. Picture date: Sunday June 6, 2021. (Photo by Ian West/PA Images via Getty Images)
Bimini Bom Boulash
Dave J Hogan via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Bimini Bon Boulash attends the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 06, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by Dave J Hogan/Getty Images)
Billie Piper
Jodie Comer
Dave J Hogan via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Jodie Comer attends the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 06, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by Dave J Hogan/Getty Images)
Vick Hope
David M. Benett via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Vick Hope arrives at the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 6, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Sanjeev Bhaskar
David M. Benett via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Sanjeev Bhaskar arrives at the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 6, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Ellie and Izzie Warner
Tim P. Whitby via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Ellie Warner and Izzie Warner attend the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 06, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images)
Gbemisola Ikumelo
David M. Benett via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Gbemisola Ikumelo arrives at the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 6, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Stacey Dooley
David M. Benett via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Stacey Dooley arrives at the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 6, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Tom Allen
Tim P. Whitby via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: BAFTA interview host, Tom Allen attends the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 06, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images)
Sophie Okonedo
Tim P. Whitby via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Sophie Okonedo attends the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 06, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images)
Claudia Winkleman
Karwai Tang via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Claudia Winkleman arrives for the Virgin Media Bafta TV Awards at Television Centre on June 06, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by Karwai Tang/WireImage)
Jessica Plummer
Ian West – PA Images via Getty ImagesJessica Plummer arrives for the Virgin Media BAFTA TV awards at the TV Centre, Wood Lane, London. Picture date: Sunday June 6, 2021. (Photo by Ian West/PA Images via Getty Images)
Guz Khan and Arslan Ashraf Moghal
Ian West – PA Images via Getty ImagesGuz Khan (left) and Arslan Ashraf Moghal arrive for the Virgin Media BAFTA TV awards at the TV Centre, Wood Lane, London. Picture date: Sunday June 6, 2021. (Photo by Ian West/PA Images via Getty Images)
Cush Jumbo
Ian West – PA Images via Getty ImagesCush Jumbo arrives for the Virgin Media BAFTA TV awards at the TV Centre, Wood Lane, London. Picture date: Sunday June 6, 2021. (Photo by Ian West/PA Images via Getty Images)
Ashley Banjo
David M. Benett via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Ashley Banjo arrives at the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 6, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Daisy May Cooper
Dave J Hogan via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Daisy May Cooper attends the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 06, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by Dave J Hogan/Getty Images)
Bradley Walsh and Donna Derby
David M. Benett via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Bradley Walsh and Donna Derby arrive at the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 6, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Letitia Wright
Dave J Hogan via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Letitia Wright attends the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 06, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by Dave J Hogan/Getty Images)
Rob Beckett and Romesh Ranganathan
Dave J Hogan via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Rob Beckett and Romesh Ranganathan attend the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 06, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by Dave J Hogan/Getty Images)
Daisy Haggard
David M. Benett via Getty ImagesLONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 06: Daisy Haggard arrives at the Virgin Media British Academy Television Awards 2021 at Television Centre on June 6, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images)
