I still remember the backlash when it turned out that Ned Fulmer, the ex-BuzzFeeder who had been dubbed the “wife guy” of online group Try Guys, had cheated on his partner with his colleague.

He was let go from his Try Guys role amidst public outrage. And now, Astronomer’s CEO Andy Bryon has stepped down from his role following a TikTok clip which some online sleuths say shows him cheating with his HR lead at a Coldplay concert.

Though the company have not confirmed Andy was the person in the viral video, they have written in a statement that “Our leaders are expected to set the standard in both conduct and accountability, and recently, that standard was not met.”

I have already shared that I’m not the biggest fan of how some people are engaging with the “Coldplay affair.”

Nor do I think that public reaction should influence a person’s professional status before an official investigation.

For instance, the company’s Senior Director of People, “identified” by TikTok detectives, has had her LinkedIn profile bombarded by commenters who think she got her promotion by hiding her boss’ romance.

The comments came despite there being absolutely no evidence that this was the case (the company has since revealed she “was not there. This is a rumour started on Twitter”).

This is wrong. A likely innocent woman’s professional page is now littered with potentially career-disrupting claims due to almost certainly baseless delusions of online “accountability.”

That’s the sort of perversely gleeful dogpiling I’m sure Jon Ronson’s So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed would have a field day with.

Lawyer Eric Kingsley, firm partner at Kingsley Szamet Employment Lawyers, told us: “Legally, the private life of an individual usually will not be cause for termination unless the private life somehow overlaps the professional environment or threatens the organisation.”

But in the case of both Fulmer and, if true, Bryon, there’s more to the story than just “bad vibes.”

“If the conduct in question involves other staff members or directly affects the workplace environment, the rationale for termination greatly changes,” the lawyer said.

Fulmer’s relationship was with a relatively junior employee, while Bryon’s suspected “affair” was alleged to be with his HR lead.

“A Chief Executive Officer being involved in a romantic relationship with an employee, even more so if there exists a position of power, creates huge potential for problems of favouritism, coercion, and the risk of legal action based upon harassment or retribution,” Kingsley added.

“Even if the relationship remains voluntary, the potential can damage the morale of employees, cause intra-company disputes, or violate stated policies of the company. Some companies place explicit policies regarding intra-company relations in place in order to avoid complications.”

Meanwhile, Thomas Roulet, a fellow and director of studies in psychology and behavioural science at King’s College, Cambridge, says that “If someone’s personal life affects their professional performance and engagement, yes, we could definitely consider HR interventions (it could be a warning or go as far as getting fired).”

The same goes if their performance and judgement are affected by the relationship, he added.

But I don’t think unfairly prying and overly moralistic internet commenters keep those rules in mind in their hunt for a perceived “bad guy” – Astronomer’s Senior Director of People is proof that many of us make the court of public opinion far too punishing, despite using inconsistent “laws.”

That misses the point; it’s all about power dynamics.

As it happens, piling on an (again, likely innocent) woman who you believe to have gotten her promotion based solely on hiding an affair without any evidence whatsoever is not exactly the best use of our collective power.

I fear the “reward” of firing a person armchair warriors believe to have cheated has left some to believe that their beliefs about adultery, whether grounded or not, ought to result in indiscriminate real-life action.

Personally, I don’t think that unkind quest has anything to do with accountability; we are confusing our own amateur sleuthing for genuine, professional investigation.

Just because the two might sometimes have the same result, though, does not mean it’s fair to equate them.