One of the few pure, unequivocally great delights of 2021 was the long-awaited return of Succession. Delayed by the pandemic, the show’s third season soared to new heights. Week after week, the writing on Succession is some of the best on TV right now, producing endlessly quotable and meme-able lines.

What makes a great Succession line? Among other things, it’s the precision, density, hilarity, ability for a line to live rent-free in our minds, or all of the above.

This list of superb lines, listed chronologically, could have gone on forever. So if something isn’t here, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t an excellent piece of writing. As Cousin Greg explained: “Headline is, uh, the internet is big, uh, obviously, uh, and I haven’t, I can’t, I couldn’t read it all, but I’m working through, I guess.”

At the beginning of the season, this line, followed by the sly grin on his face, was grimly funny. But now, it seems prescient and chilling, given how much that season one car accident, when Kendall did indeed kill someone, figures heavily into the final two episodes of season three.

“We hear/here for you,” the sequel.

Yes, Logan used his mountain of emails to deny culpability in covering up the many scandals at Waystar. But also, this is very relatable. Apologies if I’ve missed your email.

This is Connor’s description of Shiv’s letter attacking Kendall after the Roy siblings decide not to join Kendall in his coup against their dad. It isn’t necessarily the most memorable or funniest line. But it exemplifies the brilliant precision and depth of the writing on this show. “Times New Roman firing squad” isn’t something someone might realistically blurt out. But as soon as you read it and hear it, you know exactly what it means.

Gerri, Waystar’s general counsel and acting CEO (and often the most competent person in the room), has one of her finest moments during the tense FBI raid on the company. It’s probably one of the few times in his life that Logan realises he can’t get out of a fiasco by telling someone to fuck off, paying them off, or outmanoeuvring them.

“Little Lord Fuckleroy” ending a conference call with his dad, siblings and Waystar executives. Succession has the best encyclopedia of insults, greetings and signoffs.

Cousin Greg orders a rum and coke at some absurdly early time in the morning, urged by Logan, who has invited Greg to a meeting to bribe him into abandoning Kendall’s coup attempt.

I have now taken to calling my drinks “strong for a man.” The way Braun, a giant, grips the tiny glass with both of his hands is perfect.

Also, a runner-up from the same scene: “Different times. Different times indeed. Better times? Not for all.” Brian Cox’s enunciation of “Coca Cola” also lives rent-free in my brain, as well as his delivery of “What Greg wants, Greg must have!” One of the many joys of watching Succession is how there is so much going on in every single moment.

Again, it’s the precision here. Not just “you wouldn’t give our dad some water so he wouldn’t collapse while hiking in the Hamptons and stubbornly insisting he didn’t need any help!” It’s the specificity of “a timely fucking Evian.” Also, I’d like to try ending a phone call with an angry “Good day!”

Tom and Greg, a (very toxic) love story. This is the scene in which Tom tells Greg some seemingly random story about Nero and Sporus (“not IP I am familiar with,” Greg responds). But it will all make sense later — especially the line: “Nero pushed his wife down the stairs.” Boy, did we not know what Tom had up his sleeve.

This isn’t even a line of dialogue, just a moment that lives rent-free in my brain. Kendall’s kids’ giant pet rabbit has gotten sick because they fed it too much bagel (which Kendall permitted them to do, overruling their babysitter). Juliana Canfield manages to convey several different sentiments, including “WTF” and “I knew this would happen,” all in one shot.

The sickest of burns.

One of my tiny quibbles with this otherwise perfect season of television: It needed more Sanaa Lathan!

Shiv’s acute observation while inside a rendering of her mother’s vagina was, at first, hilarious because, well, she was inside a mock-up of her mother’s vagina at her brother’s birthday party. But after watching the brutal season three finale, we now realise that this line is funny because it’s true.

An all-time great one-liner from Stewy when Logan is not an active participant at a meeting but is, of course, watching everyone through the glass windows of the conference room.

Tom is so mean to Greg, but it’s such a perfect line!

Comical but also brutal, one of the defining combinations of what makes Succession so satisfying to watch. Shiv and Tom’s marriage of convenience has always seemed on the verge of collapse, but never more than after everything that happened this season.

The use of food metaphors to describe people on “Succession” is unparalleled. Earlier this season, Logan insults Frank by referring to him as “mashed potatoes.” Caroline describes her fraught relationship with daughter Shiv by explaining that “you’re my onion.” And Kendall snipes at Logan: “You’ve lied so much you don’t even fucking know anymore. Your brain’s scrambled egg, look at you.”

Imagine telling this to the person you’ve agreed to marry! How romantic!

The Succession “fuckometer” is through the roof.

This was somehow more romantic than Connor and Willa agreeing to get married.

Me, to everyone who grumbled about how this season was “boring.” Fuck you and God bless.