How To Tackle The Holiday Blues And Enter A New Year Calmly

Personally, I find the holidays hard. I love Christmas as a concept but with three of my closest family members dying during this season, it just feels a little too tender for me.

One of my favourite Christmas songs is called “It’s Christmas So We’ll Stop” in which the singer describes Christmas as a chance to breathe during difficult times, a moment to forget the heavy weight of our lives. Then he goes on to say “next day life went back to its’ bad self”.

This is how it feels to me, and many of us. Life hits harder after moments of reprieve and celebration.

According to a medically reviewed article by Health Central, 64% of us struggle with post-holidays depression.

How to cope after Christmas

Writing for The Conversation, Jolanta Burke, Associate Professor, Centre for Positive Health Sciences, RCSI University of Medicine and Health Sciences has given her advice for muddling through.

First, she explains, this slump makes perfect sense: “During the festive period, dopamine levels tend to rise. Anticipation of celebration, time spent with others, indulgent food and festive rituals all stimulate this feel-good system.

“Compared with everyday life, the brain experiences a powerful boost. Even thinking about Christmas before it arrives can activate these pathways, creating a surge of sensory excitement.”

I can relate to this. The build-up to Christmas is almost always more fun than the day itself.

Burke adds: “Once Christmas is over, dopamine levels naturally fall back to their usual baseline. This sharp contrast between heightened stimulation and everyday routine can leave people feeling flat, unmotivated or low. This is the familiar post-Christmas slump.”

As for helping yourself…

Re-establish your routine ASAP

Burke says: “Re-establishing your usual routine as soon as possible can also help. Returning to regular bedtimes and wake times supports your circadian rhythm and helps your body regain a sense of normality.

Exposure to daylight soon after waking is especially useful, as natural light signals to the brain that the day has begun. A short walk around midday, when light levels peak, can further support energy and mood.”

Make plans for the month ahead

Burke urges: “Scheduling small activities, social connections, or goals gives you something to look forward to and softens the emotional contrast between the festive season and everyday life. Practising presence and finding small moments of enjoyment each day can also help restore balance.”

We’re going to be okay.

Help and support:

  • Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
  • Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
  • CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
  • The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
  • Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.
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British Stereotypes And Clichés Galore: What Christmas Movies Always Get Wrong

This article was originally published in December 2020.

Red London buses, the bumbling Brit and the over-zealous American, and endless messages of goodwill and cheer: Christmas movies are often guilty of presenting a very one-note image of the festive period.

In fact, the genre is so rigidly defined, throngs of people light up social media each year to argue how Die Hard cannot possibly a Christmas film, even though it’s set at Christmas – presumably because it isn’t filled with festive clichés.

Perhaps audiences have Hollywood to blame for establishing a genre that feels like it relies so heavily on stereotypes.

“It’s funny rewatching a couple of Christmas films and reminding myself about them,” says Isibeal Ballance, the TV producer who worked with writer-director Mark Gatiss on subversive Christmas drama The Dead Room.

“The characters are always stereotypical. More so than any other time of year, these films lack nuance and get straight down to the point – the story of a character’s redemption.”

Hugh Grant played a fictitious prime minister in Love Actually
Hugh Grant played a fictitious prime minister in Love Actually

Moviestore/Shutterstock

Whether Love Actually, Miracle On 34th Street, The Holiday or even Scrooge, characters in the most famous Christmas films appear to play into Isibeal’s argument

Over here in the UK, we’re often awkward, miserable or earnest, and over in the States, hugely vivacious, positive and romantic.

“I think it is amazing how little people in America know about the UK and how little people in the UK know about the USA,” adds Douglas Mackinnon, director of the Doctor Who Christmas special Husbands Of River Song and Sherlock’s The Abominable Bride.

He recalls one memorable instance: “I had a shoot that started on Buckingham Palace and an American exec asked what ‘that old building’ was. So I’m not surprised that the stereotypes come out very quickly!”

Sherlock's 2015 Christmas special The Abominable Bride
Sherlock’s 2015 Christmas special The Abominable Bride

Paddington, for one, is guilty of “ruthless use of red buses”, says Douglas, who believes the British accent often attempted by Americans in Christmas films is “inevitably a posh accent, often based on not-too intensive research by listening to old interviews with Diana or Charles, or by watching The Crown.”

What do English actors do? They’ll likely copy Sean Connery’s accent if they’re playing a Scottish character, and other actors will turn to Dick Van Dyke if they need to play British, he suspects.

Of course, there’s a comforting familiarity about certain stereotypes. “Great writing doesn’t head for cliché, but the complication is that often a story can start in a familiar place to let the audience in,” explains Douglas. “The problems start if you also finish in a familiar place.”

Not all Christmas shows follow this cookie-cutter approach. The Dead Room is a clever example of how we can rethink Christmas drama while avoiding cliché: set in an old radio building, haunting shots show a crumbling studio, as an older man relives trauma from his past. It is perhaps inspired by Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, but the feel is grittier, more modern and more realistic, as an older man recounts trauma from his past.

The Dark Room starred Simon Callow in the lead role
The Dark Room starred Simon Callow in the lead role

Die Hard is perhaps the most famous example of a Hollywood Christmas blockbuster subverting expectations of the genre. Bob Clark’s thriller Black Christmas about a killer who is never caught – hardly the fairytale ending – is unusual too, much like Shane Black’s Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: another example of a properly dark, unusually witty Christmas film.

In the psychological horror Better Watch Out, stereotypes about Christmas are manipulated to trick the viewer into thinking they are in familiar territory. “Our goal was to get audiences comfortable, yawning, ‘I’ve seen this before…,’” Chris Peckover, director, tells HuffPost UK.

“So when the turn came it would be utterly upheaving. And then to drive the knife in, we continued with the holiday stereotypes ― characters wearing ugly Christmas sweaters, serving hot cocoa to the carollers ― to create a disturbing juxtaposition with the unfolding events. It’s the very nature of stereotypes as lazy and familiar that we harnessed.”

Due to the pandemic, 2020′s crop of Christmas films was minimal: but while Holidate starring Emma Roberts and The Princess Switch: Switched Again with Vanessa Hudgens appear more on familiar territory, Netflix’s major seasonal release Jingle Jangle stylistically switched things up.

Sure, it plays on some Christmas cliches: there’s a toymaker at the heart of the plot and it’s set on the snow-laden cobbled streets of Victorian England, but the way director David E. Talbert has fused African prints, hairstyles, music and dance with the classic Dickensian Christmas movie aesthetic stretches the genre excitingly toward pastures new.

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11 Ridiculously Easy (And Delicious) Christmas Eve Dinner Ideas

OK, so your household might do Christmas dinner a little differently – we’ve always been a “chicken instead of turkey” home, and have hated debates about the role of cauliflower in the meal.

But usually, the fast is planned weeks, even months, in advance. Not so for Christmas Eve, though, at least in our house.

While friends from across Europe have standard dishes they always go for the night before Christmas, I always feel at a bit of a loss. I want something fast, something festive, and something that won’t tire me out before the main event.

Luckily, a post shared to Reddit’s r/Cooking, which reads, “I need easy ideas for Christmas Eve that are not lasagna,” has answers (good, because I’ve never made an “easy” lasagna in my life).

Here are some of the top replies:

1) “I’d go with a pot roast.”

“It’s filling, and it gets all your meat and veg in one pot.”

Credit: u/LadyLongLimbs

BlueCupcake4Me, meanwhile, said, “This is our absolute favourite pot roast recipe. Worth every minute. The only modification we make is to add more broth.”

2) “This year I’m making enchiladas.”

“It only takes about 35-45 minutes to heat up afterwards. I’ll be pre-assembling them before the service and letting them sit for an hour as everything is cooked already.”

Credit: u/SarahB2006

3) “My family always does Swedish meatballs on Christmas evening.”

“It’s something that takes very little time that night and can be done easily – and fits the Christmas vibe.”

Credit: u/hibernate2020

“Yeah! We do Swedish meatballs along with a cold ham and other Swedish smorgasbord items like boiled potatoes, Jansens potatoes (or equivalent potato gratin), hard bread with Swedish cheese, lutefisk (only for the brave), gravlax, etc,” u/knifeyspoonysporky responded.

4) “In my family, we do a tamale party with beans, rice, and a few kinds of tamales.”

Credit: u/chicklette

“Tamales! Buy a few dozen and provide salsa, guacamole, etc,” u/Extreme_Breakfast672 agreed.

5) “When my mum got older, we did soups and sandwiches.”

“We had several crockpots of different soups and a spread of several types of meat, cheese and bread/rolls, as well as the condiments, along with crisps, veggies and dips.

“Everyone was tasked with bringing something, even if it was just drinks, plates, soup bowls, etc. Both old and young enjoyed it. You can leave it out to snack on through the evening. And the cleanup is easy.”

6) “Ham. Nothing is easier.”

“Yesss. Plus lots of people go crazy for it in appetisers the next day. [It also] mixes into breakfast or potato dishes.

“I leave a container of slices in a conspicuous part of the fridge just for my father-in-law. He finds it like there’s a beacon in the Tupperware lol,” replied u/toreadorable.

7) “You can do what my wife and I are doing, get takeaway Chinese food.”

8) “Have you ever done fish en papillote (fish in a bag)?”

“It’s so easy-you can prep everything ahead of time and assemble the bags earlier in the day, then bake when you’re ready to serve.

“Here is the recipe. My family reduces the amount of Cajun seasoning and adds thinly sliced vegetables, like courgette and julienned carrots. Serve with orzo or angel hair pasta, and you have a complete meal.

“Add a salad and/or soup if you want multiple courses!”

Credit: u/nola_t

9) “Fondue.”

“My family likes to do cheese fondue for Christmas Eve,” said u/april-oneill.

“Serve with a sturdy bread, cubed ham, sliced apples, and steamed vegetables (broccoli and cauliflower are good for this). It’s easy but feels festive.”

10) “We’re doing nachos! We’re non-traditional around the holidays.”

“Two kinds of meat, beans, cheese, and all the sides. Everyone can build their own.”

Credit: u/hellonheels99

11) “A nice beef stew. Any leftovers can be either frozen or used within a few days.”

“I generally put beef cheeks, carrots, onions, rosemary, thyme, juniper berries, and bay leaf in a bowl filled with wine and stock the night before.

“The following day dry the meat and veg, fry it off to give it colour, put the wine/stock in a pan and bring to a simmer for 15 min, add all your meat/veg, bring it back to a simmer, throw it in the oven with a lid for 6 hours at 140C, and crack the lid off in the last 90 minutes.

“If you’re doing dumplings, crack the lid at 60 min, and just remove fully when you add your dumplings. As a bonus, you can often reserve some of the gravy to use on Christmas Day.”

Credit: u/XcOM987

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Take Inspiration From How Christmas Is Celebrated Around The World

In a time when many of us are opting to create our own Christmas traditions, finding inspiration from around the globe to sprinkle into your own life could be just the festive magic you’re looking for.

After all, this is a celebration that happens in so many places internationally, why would you not want to invoke Christmas spirit in new (to you) ways that could even revive the holiday if you’ve been feeling a bit miserly in recent years?

Plus, you can brag about being cultured, a little Christmas gift to yourself.

How Christmas is celebrated in places around the world

Ježíšek in Prague at Christmas

Prague City Adventures explains: “I have lived with Santa Claus visiting on Christmas Eve night since I could understand what a holiday was. No such fat jolly person visits here. Instead the gifts are brought by Ježíšek, or baby Jesus.

They went on to explain that though this sounds religious, Prague is largely atheist and this is real Christmas magic in action, adding: “Ježíšek is magic. He is the bringer of toys and fun though I suspect he also brings new underwear, something parents claim you need, and no one wants for Christmas.

“Under the Communist regime there was an attempt to replace Ježíšek with a Santa like figure known as Děda Mráz (Grandfather Frost) but he never had as big of a following as baby Jesus.”

Ježíšek also drops off gifts during Christmas dinner and rings a bell to let the family know that he’s finished, which I can only imagine results in a stampede of children racing to unwrap their presents.

Christmas Eve feast in Brazil

According to World Holiday Traditions: “Following [Christmas Eve mass], families gather for a traditional Christmas Eve dinner, typically served around 10 PM. The meal is a festive spread that reflects Brazil’s diverse culinary heritage.

“It usually includes roasted turkey, ham, various salads, and fresh tropical fruits. A signature dish is rice cooked with raisins, accompanied by farofa—seasoned manioc flour that adds a distinctive flavour and texture to the meal.”

KFC in Japan

Japan Rail Pass says: “Every Christmas, an estimated 3.6 million Japanese families get their holiday meal from none other than Kentucky Fried Chicken. Somehow this tradition is one of the most sacred and one that really embodies the Japanese Christmas spirit.

“The demand is so high that people start placing their orders for the special Christmas menu six weeks in advance. And the wait in line on Christmas day is so long that it takes hours for people to get their meal. In short, doing Christmas the Japanese way means a visit to the Colonel!”

KFC is closed on Christmas Day in the UK but you could definitely make your own at home…

Visiting ancestors in Finland

On Christmas Eve in Finland, cemeteries across the country are lit up with candles placed by people paying their respects to ancestors.

Speaking to This Is Finland, Risto Lehto, who manages six cemeteries run by the Parish Union of Helsinki said: “As many as three-quarters of Finnish families visit a cemetery at Christmas, mostly on Christmas Eve, and we even have to make special traffic arrangements to accommodate the crowds.”

For those who don’t have a loved one buried in the cemetery, there is a space for lighting candles in memorium for loved ones. A quiet moment of reflection before the chaos of the big day itself.

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Christmas Season Triggers That Can Make Menopause Symptoms Worse

The Edward Pola and George Wyle song says that Christmas is the “most wonderful time of the year” but when you’re having hot flushes from some of the ‘best’ parts of the season, it can suddenly feel like the most overwhelming time of the year.

Adrienne Benjamin, in-house expert nutritionist explains: “At Christmas we see the perfect mix of alcohol, stress, late nights, richer food, and drastic indoor and outdoor temperature variations, which can all nudge the gut out of balance.

“When the gut is under strain, the whole body can feel more uncomfortable and reactive, including the brain and blood vessels that drive hot flushes.”

Thankfully, Benjamin has shared her tips for getting through the festive season comfortably.

How to reduce menopausal hot flushes at Christmas

Central heating and overheated homes

Gone are the days when having a warm home felt ‘cosy’. Benjamin explains: “Warm indoor air is one of the most common hot-flush triggers as it raises core temperature quickly and it can be difficult to cool down in this environment.”

Of course, it’s not reasonable to expect your loved ones to endure cold homes in December. Instead she suggests: “Try lowering the heating slightly where possible, have a window open whilst cooking, and always have a glass of water at hand to sip when a flush starts.”

Crowded shops and busy venues

Yes, Christmas shopping looks very romantic in Love Actually and YES, Christmas markets appeal to many of us but these crowded spaces can be overly warm, elevating stress levels and cortisol.

Benjamin adds: “Sudden stress itself can trigger a hot flush, and stress also impacts gut motility and microbiome balance, which may make the body more prone to sudden flush ‘waves’ in menopause.”

She advises choosing quieter times to shop, taking breaks outside or chjilling in a cafe and adds: “stepping into cooler spaces during events can help the nervous system settle without needing to leave the fun entirely.”

A lovely winter breeze will feel like BLISS.

Too many layers

While getting bundled into heavy coats and gorgeous thick scarves can be a treat, Benjamin warns: “Multiple thick layers can create a heat ‘lock-in’, especially when moving between outdoors and warm interiors.”

Instead, she says, wear breathable base layers and ‘easy off’ outer layers so you can adjust quickly rather than feeling trapped in rising heat. Yuck.

Shapewear and tight festive outfits

Gorgeous glittery dresses with sheer tights, isn’t this what Christmas parties were designed for? However, Benjamin says that tight waistbands, shapewear, and high-compression fabrics don’t just trap heat, they can compress the abdomen and worsen bloating, reflux, or gut discomfort.

You don’t have to hang up your dancing shoes just yet, though. Benjamin says: “Prioritise comfort, choosing looser silhouettes or natural fibres that don’t constrict the stomach, and allow the body to cool itself more effectively. ”

Extra caffeine in cold-weather routines

Whether you’re rushed off your feet, finding time to get coffee with friends or just warming up with more cups of tea and coffee throughout the day, Benjamin warns that caffeine can be a risk.

She says: “Warming coffee, strong tea, and seasonal hot drinks can stimulate the blood vessels to widen and increase blood flow triggering flushes, and may also increase gut sensitivity and discomfort, particularly in women who are prone to reflux or IBS-type symptoms in midlife.”

She suggests altering these drinks with herbal tea or water will help moderate stress signalling and digestive irritation.

Happy holidays!

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Christmas Dinner Foods That Can Be Prepped In Advance

Confession: I love Christmas Dinner but I am deathly afraid of cooking it. I’m actually a great cook (if I do say so myself…) but the thought of spending almost the entire day in a roasting hot kitchen cooking and keeping up with timers etc is frankly unbearable.

I am wholly grateful to my lovely partner who takes on the duty every year as I swan about the living room reading my festive books and watching Christmas flicks on tv.

Don’t worry, I am the cook throughout the year.

This year though, I am determined to play more of a part in my festive feast and spoke with two chefs about what can be prepped and frozen ahead of the Big Day.

Which foods can be frozen ahead of Christmas Day

Robbie Smith, head chef at Glasgow restaurant Zique’s says: “There are plenty of things you can do ahead of time to make Christmas dinner feel a lot less daunting. Making your stuffing in advance is a big one. Roll it in clingfilm, freeze it, then simply slice and cook it on the day.

“If you’re making gravy, the stock can also be done well in advance. Roast your bones and vegetables, simmer, strain and freeze it, then bring it straight back to the stove on Christmas Day, adding the resting juices from your meat, of course.”

UM. Who knew?!

As for veg, he advises: “Braised red cabbage and roast potatoes are also ideal for prepping ahead. Parboil the potatoes, cool and freeze them, then defrost on the day and put them straight into hot oil in the oven.

“If I’m cooking Christmas dinner, I also like to have a batch of croquettes in the freezer, cooked straight from frozen, so people have something to snack on and are not constantly asking when the turkey will be ready.”

Snacking croquettes is definitely something I can get behind…

Danny Carruthers, head chef at Sebb’s advises that changing your choice of meat could help: “Beef is a brilliant alternative to turkey, especially if you need something that can be pre-cooked without losing quality.

“Cuts like beef short rib, feather blade or ox cheek are rich in fat and collagen, which means they really come into their own when slow-cooked or braised, and they reheat beautifully in the oven or even the microwave in small portions.”

As for vegetables, he suggests a good slow roast: “For veg, keep things whole or in large pieces and roast them slowly. You’re aiming for a deep, caramelised crust, which helps protect the veg when thawing and re-roasting.

“Think slow-roast carrots with plenty of butter and salt, or even those viral glass parsnips from chef Adam Byatt.”

Gosh I’m hungry…

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Chef Shares How To Prevent Pigs In Blankets From Splitting

Call me a hypocrite: even though I toss and turn when I sleep, I hate when my sausage bigs in their bacon blankets wiggle out of their salty duvets as they cook.

I’m always left with tough, rubbery rashers and half-burnt, half-pale sausages, neither of which taste anything like as good as their combined selves.

But executive head chef Aaron Craig at The Milner York said I may be “making Christmas dinner harder than it needs to be” – preventing them from bursting is simpler than you might think.

How can I stop pigs in blankets from splitting open?

It’s down to one factor, Craig said: your oven settings.

“If your pigs in blankets burst, it’s not the sausages – it’s the temperature,” he said.

“Once you’ve wrapped them, chill them. Pop them in the fridge for about 30 minutes or into the freezer for 10. It firms up the fat, so they cook evenly without splitting,” he explained.

Want even more delicious festive food? Try coating the pigs in blankets in a delicious dressing.

“Right before they go in the oven, brush them with a little honey and wholegrain mustard,” the chef said.

“You get a glossy, golden coating and a lovely sweet–savory kick.”

Any other tips?

Yes. The chef said gravies really complete the Yuletide meal, but too many of us rush the process.

“Most home gravies end up way too pale,” he said.

“If you want proper rich flavour, don’t rush the roasting stage. Get your onions, carrots, celery, garlic and any poultry trimmings really deep brown ― not just lightly golden. That colour gives you depth.”

After you add your stock, simmer it gently.

“And here’s a little chef trick: a teaspoon of soy sauce or Marmite gives it an incredible umami boost without making it taste any less ‘Christmas’. It just rounds everything out,” he added.

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Christmas Number One 2025: Kylie Minogue Ends Wham!’s Winning Streak

After two years of Wham! at the top of the festive chart, the UK has a new Christmas number one in 2025.

On Friday evening, it was announced that Kylie Minogue’s latest single XMAS was number one on this year’s Christmas chart.

The accolade is noteworthy for a number of reasons, not least because XMAS is an Amazon Music exclusive, meaning it’s not available to stream on the most popular platforms like Spotify, Apple Music or Tidal.

Kylie is also celebrating her first UK number one in more than two decades, having last topped the charts in 2003 with Slow.

Kylie Minogue performing at the Jingle Bell Ball earlier this month
Kylie Minogue performing at the Jingle Bell Ball earlier this month

David Fisher/Shutterstock for Global

In response to her first solo Christmas number one – and her eighth overall – the Australian pop superstar enthused: “It’s hard to put into words how special this feels. Being Christmas number one really is the most wonderful gift!

“I’m so thankful to everyone who’s been listening and sharing the love and I’m wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!”

As for the rest of the chart, Wham!’s Last Christmas gets the silver medal for this week at number two, while Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You is at three.

Rounding off the top five are Brenda Lee’s classic Rockin’ Around The Christmas Is You and Together For Palestine’s new charity single Lullaby.

Kylie is now the only woman to have had number one in four different decades – the 1980s, 1990s, 2000s and 2020s – with only Elvis Presley, Elton John and Queen being able to boast the same.

XMAS is taken from the reissued version of Kylie’s seasonal album Christmas, which was revamped earlier this year in celebration of its 10th anniversary.

She was previously a featured vocalist on the oft-overlooked second version of Band Aid’s Do They Know It’s Christmas?, which was released in 1989 and topped the Christmas chart in the UK that year, though XMAS is her first festive number one as a solo performing.

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How To Make Delicious Festive Cocktails Without A Shaker

The thought of making cocktails for your friends and family right from your own home is extremely glamorous but in reality, you could end up playing mixologist for the evening and not getting a chance to actually enjoy the company of your loved ones.

Cocktail expert Abi Clephane from Bruichladdich Distillery agrees. She says: ”“I love the theatre of shaking cocktails,

“But when you’ve got people arriving in waves, you want drinks that taste brilliant without needing to stand there making each one like you’re on a shift. Christmas should be fun for the host too.”

Plus, how many of us just have a cocktail shaker kicking about?

The bottle-and-freezer method that replaces shaking entirely

Clephane says her number one hack is to pre-dilute your cocktails, bottle them, and then freeze them.

She explains: “Make your cocktail exactly as you normally would, same ingredients, same ratios, and then just add water. For a stirred drink, add 20%. For a shaken drink, add 25%. That gives you the dilution you’d normally get from ice, but without having to shake or stir anything.

“Freeze the bottle and pour it straight into a glass. It comes out cold, smooth, and perfectly balanced.”

She adds that this one trick avoids the classic hosting nightmare: “There is never, ever enough ice at Christmas for the amount of cocktails people expect. This solves that immediately.

“Just make sure you’re using a sturdy bottle. The ones we use at Bruichladdich are 60% recycled glass and can handle the freezer, so you can batch everything days ahead and not stress about anything breaking.”

Speaking of freezing glassware…

Clephane swears by frozen glassware because it improves everything without any effort at all: “A frozen glass just makes a drink so much more enjoyable. You don’t need fancy ice or special equipment.

“If you’ve got space to chill a few glasses before people arrive, that alone will make your drinks feel more intentional. You can use it for cocktails, wine, even beer – it improves every drink!”

If you want clear ice, the boiling water trick doesn’t actually work

Clearing up an old myth, Clephane says: “People always think boiled water will give you clear ice, but it genuinely doesn’t make a difference.

“If you actually want those really clear cubes, the only method that works is directional freezing. Get a small cool box, fill it with good-quality water, leave the lid off and put it in the freezer.

“It freezes from the top down, and that’s what creates proper clarity. Then you can cut it into cubes or use stretchy silicone moulds if you want to shape it.”

Can’t wait to impress my guests.

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‘Tis The Season To Share The Mental Load – Keeping Christmas Merry, Not Messy

Every parent knows that the merriment and magic-making surrounding Christmas requires time, energy, and often more capacity than any of us have.

Upended schedules, school plays, non-uniform days, PTA events, parties, end-of-year work deadlines, gift-giving, cooking, baking, entertaining – the mental load, which is hard enough to juggle at the best of times, gets thrown into a pressure cooker.

And if one of you assumes the other is happy to manage everything, it won’t take long to reach breaking point.

It’s no wonder the first working Monday of the new year is often referred to as “Divorce Day”, when the strain over the holidays gets too much, and old wounds and buried resentments resurface.

For most couples, divorce isn’t on the cards. But the holidays can still churn up emotions we’ve managed to bury for most of the year; resentment and frustration can boil over and explode during this intensified time.

If you find yourself feeling withdrawn, short-tempered, unsupported, unseen and unheard – you’re not alone.

Take a step back and think about this while wearing your professional hat: would you ever host a major event without a detailed plan? Would you ever launch a new product without a communications campaign? And would you ever do the whole thing alone?

Think of your household as a mini organisation, and December is your biggest annual event. You need to come together as a team to make it a success.

So, set a time to sit down with your spouse or partner (and the kids if they’re old enough), and use the following questions as a guide. The end result is (hopefully) a smoother, happier, argument-free holiday season.

How to start sharing the load over Christmas

  1. With a shared calendar, review all necessary events: school plays, worship services, Christmas parties, family gatherings.

  2. In work settings we use the word ‘objective’. For the family, let’s stick to priorities. Take a deep breath, and each share your top two priorities for the holiday. (Use this opportunity wisely! These should be selfish. Maybe you don’t want to do dishes for two hours on Christmas night, or you want several hours on Boxing Day to do shopping, or you want to attend your work party and stay late without guilt.) Name what is truly important to you and respect each other’s wishes. It might help to add WHY these are important: maybe they don’t want to do dishes, not because they are lazy, but because they love the end-of-the-day snuggles with kids by the tree. Maybe shopping on Boxing Day is the alone time needed to get through the remainder of the school holiday. Maybe the work party is a way to get on the boss’s good side going into the new year.

  3. If your kids are old enough, ask them their priorities as well! If the kids are still little, agree on three priorities you know they love.

  4. Look at everyone’s priorities collectively and talk about how to keep those as the focus. Are any of them conflicting? Do you have the resources to make everything happen? If any priorities cannot be met, reset expectations now to prevent disappointment on Christmas morning. What are you going to let go of this year because it’s just too much?

  5. Now it is time to make a mini action plan. Create a to-do list together, including everything that needs to happen to meet everyone’s expectations. Include deadlines, and decide who is taking responsibility for which task. Be careful to divide as evenly as possible (including all the gift lists) – one person should not be taking on 80% of the tasks. It’s good to discuss consequences too: what is going to happen if one of you drops the ball and doesn’t complete their list? What impact will that have on the family?

  6. Finally, set follow-up meetings. Sit down together 1-2 times a week throughout the holidays to check in, troubleshoot, see where you might need additional help, and hold each other accountable.

It’s time to leave resentment in 2025 and let the holidays be the start of something new.

Rachel Childs is a parenting equity expert, founder of Parents That Work and co-host at Equal-ish, the parenting podcast.

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