Hubble detects ghostly glow surrounding our solar system

Imagine walking into a room at night, turning out all the lights and closing the shades. Yet an eerie glow comes from the walls, ceiling, and floor. The faint light is barely enough to see your hands before your face, but it persists. Sounds like a scene out of “Ghost Hunters?” No, for astronomers this is the real deal. But looking for something that’s close to nothing is not easy. 

One possible explanation is that a shell of dust envelops our solar system all the way out to Pluto, and is reflecting sunlight. Seeing airborne dust caught in sunbeams is no surprise when cleaning the house. But this must have a more exotic origin. Because the glow is so smoothy distributed, the likely source is innumerable comets — free-flying dusty snowballs of ice. They fall in toward the Sun from all different directions, spewing out an exhaust of dust as the ices sublimate due to heat from the Sun. If real, this would be a newly discovered architectural element of the solar system. It has remained invisible until very imaginative and curious astronomers, and the power of Hubble, came along.

Aside from a tapestry of glittering stars, and the glow of the waxing and waning Moon, the nighttime sky looks inky black to the casual observer. But how dark is dark?

To find out, astronomers decided to sort through 200,000 images from NASA’s Hubble Space Telescope and made tens of thousands of measurements on these images to look for any residual background glow in the sky, in an ambitious project called SKYSURF. This would be any leftover light after subtracting the glow from planets, stars, galaxies, and from dust in the plane of our solar system (called zodiacal light).

When researchers completed this inventory, they found an exceedingly tiny excess of light, equivalent to the steady glow of 10 fireflies spread across the entire sky. That’s like turning out all the lights in a shuttered room and still finding an eerie glow coming from the walls, ceiling, and floor.

The researchers say that one possible explanation for this residual glow is that our inner solar system contains a tenuous sphere of dust from comets that are falling into the solar system from all directions, and that the glow is sunlight reflecting off this dust. If real, this dust shell could be a new addition to the known architecture of the solar system.

This idea is bolstered by the fact that in 2021 another team of astronomers used data from NASA’s New Horizons spacecraft to also measure the sky background. New Horizons flew by Pluto in 2015, and a small Kuiper belt object in 2018, and is now heading into interstellar space. The New Horizons measurements were done at a distance of 4 billion to 5 billion miles from the Sun. This is well outside the realm of the planets and asteroids where there is no contamination from interplanetary dust.

New Horizons detected something a bit fainter that is apparently from a more distant source than Hubble detected. The source of the background light seen by New Horizons also remains unexplained. There are numerous theories ranging from the decay of dark matter to a huge unseen population of remote galaxies.

“If our analysis is correct there’s another dust component between us and the distance where New Horizons made measurements. That means this is some kind of extra light coming from inside our solar system,” said Tim Carleton, of Arizona State University (ASU).

“Because our measurement of residual light is higher than New Horizons we think it is a local phenomenon that is not from far outside the solar system. It may be a new element to the contents of the solar system that has been hypothesized but not quantitatively measured until now,” said Carleton.

Hubble veteran astronomer Rogier Windhorst, also of ASU, first got the idea to assemble Hubble data to go looking for any “ghost light.” “More than 95% of the photons in the images from Hubble’s archive come from distances less than 3 billion miles from Earth. Since Hubble’s very early days, most Hubble users have discarded these sky-photons, as they are interested in the faint discrete objects in Hubble’s images such as stars and galaxies,” said Windhorst. “But these sky-photons contain important information which can be extracted thanks to Hubble’s unique ability to measure faint brightness levels to high precision over its three decades of lifetime.”

A number of graduate and undergraduate students contributed to project SKYSURF, including Rosalia O’Brien, Delondrae Carter and Darby Kramer at ASU, Scott Tompkins at the University of Western Australia, Sarah Caddy at Macquarie University in Australia, and many others.

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Today’s adolescent substances of choice may be harder for adults to detect

Despite advances in technology and availability, one of the best ways for parents and health care providers to prevent or help stop adolescent substance use is still an old-fashioned conversation, according to a new Viewpoint published in the November issue of The Lancet Child & Adolescent Health. The piece, written by a team of University of Rhode Island trainees under Prochaska Endowed Professor Sarah Feldstein Ewing, stresses that relying on detection through informal observation — as parents and providers have commonly done with alcohol and tobacco use — is quickly becoming a thing of the past. The paper provides health care professionals and parents concrete steps for screening, detection and intervention.

The past decade has seen a global surge in adolescent use of e-cigarettes/vaping, cannabis, and prescription opioids not-taken-as-prescribed. This surge has been aided, in some cases, by entirely new methods of substance use and delivery — such as cannabis edibles and vaping — as well as youths’ lower perceptions of harm, and/or greater accessibility. These substances have “invisible symptoms” to adults and, in turn, can be much harder-to-detect by parents, caregivers, and health care providers.

“What is so different today than in past generations is that parents and providers could really rely on what we traditionally think of as obvious signs to tell if kids were using. Did they come home smelling like cigarettes or cannabis? Is there alcohol on their breath? Are they slurring their speech?” said Feldstein Ewing. “While some of these things still work, where we run into trouble today is that, more and more, the substances that kids are using are just not as easy to spot. And, the signs are not as conspicuous as they once were.”

This is especially concerning when it comes to the still-developing adolescent brain. While the ways in which these substances affect the brain are under ongoing investigation, there is evidence to suggest that their use during adolescence may adversely affect long-term neural and behavioral development. Also, because their use can be hard to identify by adults, youth may be more likely to transition from experimentation to heavier, hazardous use in a manner that is often undetected by providers or caregivers until there is a substantial impact on school, work, or their personal or family relationships.

In addition to her position as a professor of psychology within URI’s College of Health Sciences, Feldstein Ewing is a child/adolescent clinician with over two decades experience working in adolescent substance use prevention and treatment.

“Families would come to me for treatment for youth engaged in heavy substance use and say, ‘I didn’t even know my kid was using.’ Parents are having a hard time and now that many states are making cannabis legal for recreational use, I think parents and providers are really feeling at a loss to navigate this,” she said.

The Viewpoint is primarily geared toward adolescent health care providers who are in a unique position to assist in detection as well as facilitating access to treatment services, due to their recurring appointments with young people. But, says Feldstein Ewing, parents and caregivers may also find the recommendations helpful. Opening the lines of communication with young people can provide adolescents a platform in which to discuss current life concerns, including substance use. One straightforward way that parents or caregivers can do this, she says, is by increasing the frequency of family dinners.

“It’s definitely hard today — families are busy with work, school, sports and other activities. But the point is, if that can be a place where you are seeing and connecting with your kids every day, it will be easier to notice small changes in behavior or other patterns. It doesn’t even have to be a dinner, it can also take the form of drives or walks — if you provide a forum to talk about ‘regular stuff’ it will be easier for them and for you to bring these things up.”

Provider use of well-validated substance use screening tools, specific for adolescents, is recommended as part of the framework — as is active listening and the use of open-ended questions. Providers may also be able to communicate things that parents can’t, such as the risks and potential longer-term effects associated with such substances. By the same token, adolescents may be more likely to open up to providers in the patient-provider context. Parents and providers may find that asking about peer use can provide helpful insights while being perceived as less intrusive to young people.

“The most important part of all this is that this is new territory — and that’s OK. The things we have done historically no longer translate well for these new forms of substances, so we need to readjust. Providers and parents often do not feel comfortable discussing topics like substance use because they are not sure what to do if teens say, ‘Yes , we are using’,” said Feldstein Ewing. “But when it comes down to it, even though we often think about teens as spending most of their time with their friends, parents still have the biggest influence on their teen’s behavior. So knowing where they are, who they are hanging out with, and being open to having these sometimes scary conversations on a consistent basis is important. And, providers have a critical role to play in supporting kids and families.”

Feldstein Ewing is Director of URI’s Adolescent Neuroscience Center for Health Resilience, which focuses on adolescent translational approaches, increasing understanding of the links between basic biological mechanisms — like the brain — and effective treatments for reducing adolescent health risk behaviors. Several of Feldstein Ewing’s trainees contributed to the piece, including lead author, Genevieve Dash, M.S., at the University of Missouri; as well as Karen Hudson, M.C.R., at URI; and her URI graduate students Emily Kenyon, Emily Carter, and Diana Ho.

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Without more data, a black hole’s origins can be ‘spun’ in any direction

Clues to a black hole’s origins can be found in the way it spins. This is especially true for binaries, in which two black holes circle close together before merging. The spin and tilt of the respective black holes just before they merge can reveal whether the invisible giants arose from a quiet galactic disk or a more dynamic cluster of stars.

Astronomers are hoping to tease out which of these origin stories is more likely by analyzing the 69 confirmed binaries detected to date. But a new study finds that for now, the current catalog of binaries is not enough to reveal anything fundamental about how black holes form.

In a study appearing in the journal Astronomy and Astrophysics Letters, MIT physicists show that when all the known binaries and their spins are worked into models of black hole formation, the conclusions can look very different, depending on the particular model used to interpret the data.

A black hole’s origins can therefore be “spun” in different ways, depending on a model’s assumptions of how the universe works.

“When you change the model and make it more flexible or make different assumptions, you get a different answer about how black holes formed in the universe,” says study co-author Sylvia Biscoveanu, an MIT graduate student working in the LIGO Laboratory. “We show that people need to be careful because we are not yet at the stage with our data where we can believe what the model tells us.”

The study’s co-authors include Colm Talbot, an MIT postdoc; and Salvatore Vitale, an associate professor of physics and a member of the Kavli Institute of Astrophysics and Space Research at MIT.

A tale of two origins

Black holes in binary systems are thought to arise via one of two paths. The first is through “field binary evolution,” in which two stars evolve together and eventually explode in supernovae, leaving behind two black holes that continue circling in a binary system. In this scenario, the black holes should have relatively aligned spins, as they would have had time — first as stars, then black holes — to pull and tug each other into similar orientations. If a binary’s black holes have roughly the same spin, scientists believe they must have evolved in a relatively quiet environment, such as a galactic disk.

Black hole binaries can also form through “dynamical assembly,” where two black holes evolve separately, each with its own distinct tilt and spin. By some extreme astrophysical processes, the black holes are eventually brought together, close enough to form a binary system. Such a dynamical pairing would likely occur not in a quiet galactic disk, but in a more dense environment, such as a globular cluster, where the interaction of thousands of stars can knock two black holes together. If a binary’s black holes have randomly oriented spins, they likely formed in a globular cluster.

But what fraction of binaries form through one channel versus the other? The answer, astronomers believe, should lie in data, and particularly, measurements of black hole spins.

To date, astronomers have derived the spins of black holes in 69 binaries, which have been discovered by a network of gravitational-wave detectors including LIGO in the U.S., and its Italian counterpart Virgo. Each detector listens for signs of gravitational waves — very subtle reverberations through space-time that are left over from extreme, astrophysical events such as the merging of massive black holes.

With each binary detection, astronomers have estimated the respective black hole’s properties, including their mass and spin. They have worked the spin measurements into a generally accepted model of black hole formation, and found signs that binaries could have both a preferred, aligned spin, as well as random spins. That is, the universe could produce binaries in both galactic disks and globular clusters.

“But we wanted to know, do we have enough data to make this distinction?” Biscoveanu says. “And it turns out, things are messy and uncertain, and it’s harder than it looks.”

Spinning the data

In their new study, the MIT team tested whether the same data would yield the same conclusions when worked into slightly different theoretical models of how black holes form.

The team first reproduced LIGO’s spin measurements in a widely used model of black hole formation. This model assumes that a fraction of binaries in the universe prefer to produce black holes with aligned spins, where the rest of the binaries have random spins. They found that the data appeared to agree with this model’s assumptions and showed a peak where the model predicted there should be more black holes with similar spins.

They then tweaked the model slightly, altering its assumptions such that it predicted a slightly different orientation of preferred black hole spins. When they worked the same data into this tweaked model, they found the data shifted to line up with the new predictions. The data also made similar shifts in 10 other models, each with a different assumption of how black holes prefer to spin.

“Our paper shows that your result depends entirely on how you model your astrophysics, rather than the data itself,” Biscoveanu says.

“We need more data than we thought, if we want to make a claim that is independent of the astrophysical assumptions we make,” Vitale adds.

Just how much more data will astronomers need? Vitale estimates that once the LIGO network starts back up in early 2023, the instruments will detect one new black hole binary every few days. Over the next year, that could add up to hundreds more measurements to add to the data.

“The measurements of the spins we have now are very uncertain,” Vitale says. “But as we build up a lot of them, we can gain better information. Then we can say, no matter the detail of my model, the data always tells me the same story — a story that we could then believe.”

This research was supported in part by the National Science Foundation.

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Curved spacetime in the lab

In a laboratory experiment, researchers from Heidelberg University have succeeded in realising an effective spacetime that can be manipulated. In their research on ultracold quantum gases, they were able to simulate an entire family of curved universes to investigate different cosmological scenarios and compare them with the predictions of a quantum field theoretical model.

According to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, space and time are inextricably connected. In our Universe, whose curvature is barely measurable, the structure of this spacetime is fixed. In a laboratory experiment, researchers from Heidelberg University have succeeded in realising an effective spacetime that can be manipulated. In their research on ultracold quantum gases, they were able to simulate an entire family of curved universes to investigate different cosmological scenarios and compare them with the predictions of a quantum field theoretical model. The research results were published in Nature.

The emergence of space and time on cosmic time scales from the Big Bang to the present is the subject of current research that can only be based on the observation of our single Universe. The expansion and curvature of space are essential to cosmological models. In a flat space like our current Universe, the shortest distance between two points is always a straight line. “It is conceivable, however, that our Universe was curved in its early phase. Studying the consequences of a curved spacetime is therefore a pressing question in research,” states Prof. Dr Markus Oberthaler, a researcher at the Kirchhoff Institute for Physics at Heidelberg University. With his “Synthetic Quantum Systems” research group, he developed a quantum field simulator for this purpose.

The quantum field simulator created in the lab consists of a cloud of potassium atoms cooled to just a few nanokelvins above absolute zero. This produces a Bose-Einstein condensate — a special quantum mechanical state of the atomic gas that is reached at very cold temperatures. Prof. Oberthaler explains that the Bose-Einstein condensate is a perfect background against which the smallest excitations, i.e. changes in the energy state of the atoms, become visible. The form of the atomic cloud determines the dimensionality and the properties of spacetime on which these excitations ride like waves. In our Universe, there are three dimensions of space as well as a fourth: time.

In the experiment conducted by the Heidelberg physicists, the atoms are trapped in a thin layer. The excitations can therefore only propagate in two spatial directions — the space is two-dimensional. At the same time, the atomic cloud in the remaining two dimensions can be shaped in almost any way, whereby it is also possible to realise curved spacetimes. The interaction between the atoms can be precisely adjusted by a magnetic field, changing the propagation speed of the wavelike excitations on the Bose-Einstein condensate.

“For the waves on the condensate, the propagation speed depends on the density and the interaction of the atoms. This gives us the opportunity to create conditions like those in an expanding universe,” explains Prof. Dr Stefan Flörchinger. The researcher, who previously worked at Heidelberg University and joined the University of Jena at the beginning of this year, developed the quantum field theoretical model used to quantitatively compare the experimental results.

Using the quantum field simulator, cosmic phenomena, such as the production of particles based on the expansion of space, and even the spacetime curvature can be made measurable. “Cosmological problems normally take place on unimaginably large scales. To be able to specifically study them in the lab opens up entirely new possibilities in research by enabling us to experimentally test new theoretical models,” states Celia Viermann, the primary author of the “Nature” article. “Studying the interplay of curved spacetime and quantum mechanical states in the lab will occupy us for some time to come,” says Markus Oberthaler, whose research group is also part of the STRUCTURES Cluster of Excellence at Ruperto Carola.

The work was conducted as part of Collaborative Research Centre 1225, “Isolated Quantum Systems and Universality in Extreme Conditions” (ISOQUANT), of Heidelberg University.

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Astronomers report most distant known galaxies, detected and confirmed

An international team of astronomers has discovered the earliest and most distant galaxies confirmed to date using data from the James Webb Space Telescope (JWST). The telescope captured light emitted by these galaxies more than 13.4 billion years ago, which means the galaxies date back to less than 400 million years after the Big Bang, when the universe was only 2% of its current age.

Initial observations from JWST yielded several candidate galaxies at extreme distances, as had earlier observations with the Hubble Space Telescope. Now, four of these targets have been confirmed by obtaining long spectroscopic observations, which not only provide secure measurements of their distances, but also allow astronomers to characterize the physical properties of the galaxies.

“We’ve discovered galaxies at fantastically early times in the distant universe,” said Brant Robertson, professor of astronomy and astrophysics at UC Santa Cruz. “With JWST, for the first time we can now find such distant galaxies and then confirm spectroscopically that they really are that far away.”

Astronomers measure the distance to a galaxy by determining its redshift. Due to the expansion of the universe, distant objects appear to be receding from us and their light is stretched to longer, redder wavelengths by the Doppler effect. Photometric techniques based on images captured through different filters can provide redshift estimates, but definitive measurements require spectroscopy, which separates the light from an object into its component wavelengths.

The new findings focus on four galaxies with redshifts higher than 10. Two galaxies initially observed by Hubble now have confirmed redshifts of 10.38 and 11.58. The two most distant galaxies, both detected in JWST images, have redshifts of 13.20 and 12.63, making them the most distant galaxies confirmed by spectroscopy to date. A redshift of 13.2 corresponds to about 13.5 billion years ago.

“These are well beyond what we could have imagined finding before JWST,” Robertson said. “At redshift 13, the universe is only about 325 million years old.”

Robertson and Emma Curtis-Lake from the University of Hertfordshire (U.K.) will be presenting the new findings on December 12 at a Space Telescope Science Institute (STScI) conference in Baltimore on “First Science Results from JWST.” They are the lead authors of two papers on the results that have not yet been through the peer-review process.

The observations result from a collaboration of scientists who led the development of two of the instruments onboard Webb, the Near-Infrared Camera (NIRCam) and the Near-Infrared Spectrograph (NIRSpec). The investigation of the faintest and earliest galaxies was the leading motivation in the concepts for these instruments. In 2015, the instrument teams joined together to propose the JWST Advanced Deep Extragalactic Survey (JADES), an ambitious program that has been allocated just over one month of the telescope’s time and is designed to provide a view of the early universe unprecedented in both depth and detail. JADES is an international collaboration of more than eighty astronomers from ten countries.

“These results are the culmination of why the NIRCam and NIRSpec teams joined together to execute this observing program,” said Marcia Rieke, NIRCam principal investigator at the University of Arizona.

The JADES program began with NIRCam, using over 10 days of mission time to observe a small patch of sky in and around the Hubble Ultra Deep Field. Astronomers have been studying this region for over 20 years with nearly all large telescopes. The JADES team observed the field in nine different infrared wavelength ranges, capturing exquisite images that reveal nearly 100,000 distant galaxies, each billions of light years away.

The team then used the NIRSpec spectrograph for a single three-day observation period to collect the light from 250 faint galaxies. This yielded precise redshift measurements and revealed the properties of the gas and stars in these galaxies.

“With these measurements, we can know the intrinsic brightness of the galaxies and figure out how many stars they have,” Robertson said. “Now we can start to really pick apart how galaxies are put together over time.”

Coauthor Sandro Tacchella from the University of Cambridge in the United Kingdom added, “It is hard to understand galaxies without understanding the initial periods of their development. Much as with humans, so much of what happens later depends on the impact of these early generations of stars. So many questions about galaxies have been waiting for the transformative opportunity of Webb, and we’re thrilled to be able to play a part in revealing this story.”

According to Robertson, star formation in these early galaxies would have begun about 100 million years earlier than the age at which they were observed, pushing the formation of the earliest stars back to around 225 million years after the Big Bang.

“We are seeing evidence of star formation about as early as we could expect based on our models of galaxy formation,” he said.

Other teams have identified candidate galaxies at even higher redshifts based on photometric analyses of JWST images, but these have yet to be confirmed by spectroscopy. JADES will continue in 2023 with a detailed study of another field, this one centered on the iconic Hubble Deep Field, and then a return to the Ultra Deep Field for another round of deep imaging and spectroscopy. Many more candidates in the field await spectroscopic investigation, with hundreds of hours of additional time already approved.

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France makes condoms free for 18 to 25 year olds

The new health measure follows an increase in sexually transmitted infections in France.

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Scientist mimic nature to make nano particle metallic snowflakes

Scientists in New Zealand and Australia working at the level of atoms created something unexpected: tiny metallic snowflakes. Why’s that significant? Because coaxing individual atoms to cooperate in desired ways is leading to a revolution in engineering and technology via nanomaterials (And creating snowflakes is cool.) Nanoscale structures (a nanometre is one billionth of a metre) can aid electronic manufacturing, make materials stronger yet lighter, or aid environmental clean-ups by binding to toxins.

To create metallic nanocrystals, New Zealand and Australian scientists have been experimenting with gallium, a soft, silvery metal which is used in semiconductors and, unusually, liquifies at just above room temperature. Their results were just reported in the journal Science.

Professor Nicola Gaston and research fellow Dr Steph Lambie, both of Waipapa Taumata Rau, University of Auckland, and Dr Krista Steenbergen of Te Herenga Waka, Victoria University of Wellington, collaborated with colleagues in Australia led by Professor Kourosh Kalantar-Zadeh at the University of New South Wales.

The Australian team worked in the lab with nickel, copper, zinc, tin, platinum, bismuth, silver and aluminium, growing metal crystals in a liquid solvent of gallium. Metals were dissolved in gallium at high temperatures. Once cooled, the metallic crystals emerged while the gallium remained liquid. The New Zealand team, part of the MacDiarmid Institute for Advanced Materials and Nanotechnology, a national Centre of Research Excellence, carried out simulations of molecular dynamics to explain why differently shaped crystals emerge from different metals. (The government’s Marsden Fund supported the research.)

“What we are learning is that the structure of the liquid gallium is very important,” says Gaston. “That’s novel because we usually think of liquids as lacking structure or being only randomly structured.” Interactions between the atomistic structures of the different metals and the liquid gallium cause differently shaped crystals to emerge, the scientists showed.

The crystals included cubes, rods, hexagonal plates and the zinc snowflake shapes. The six-branched symmetry of zinc, with each atom surrounded by six neighbours at equivalent distances, accounts for the snowflake design. “In contrast to top-down approaches to forming nanostructure — by cutting away material — this bottom-up approaches relies on atoms self-assembling,” says Gaston. “This is how nature makes nanoparticles, and is both less wasteful and much more precise than top-down methods.” She says the research has opened up a new, unexplored pathway for metallic nanostructures. “There’s also something very cool in creating a metallic snowflake!”

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Covid: Pre-Christmas booster urged as infections rise

Infection rates up slightly in England and Northern Ireland, according to the latest ONS figures.

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Strep A: Grandmother says four-year-old Camila Burns getting better

A four-year-old who was fighting for her life with a strep A infection is recovering, her grandmother says.

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How To Avoid An All-Out War When The Grandparents Disagree With Your Parenting Style

When it comes to raising kids, everyone wants to share their two cents on what the best way to do it is – and that often includes grandparents.

And whether you’re a new parent who’s still finding their feet, or a seasoned pro who’s mastered the art of caring for multiples, it can be hard not to get upset when someone criticises what you’re doing, or goes against a particular way you want to raise your kids.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, disagreeing over parenting techniques is the most common reason why parents argue with their own parents (aka the grandparents), according to a survey by iHus, which specialises in multigenerational living.

“It is totally normal to have a different parenting style to your own parents,” therapist Siobhan Butt, who is a member of Counselling Directory, tells HuffPost UK.

“You are different people, living at a different time and have a different set of life experiences that inform how you decide to parent.”

The differences in how you parent can come out in all kinds of situations, she suggests, from what you choose to feed your children and how much screen time you allow them, to your political and religious ideology.

The C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital in Michigan asked parents of children aged 0-18 years old about disagreements with grandparents around their parenting choices. Most parents (89%) said their child saw at least one grandparent often or occasionally – and of these, 37% reported minor disagreements with grandparents about their parenting choices, and 6% reported major disagreements.

Two in five parents (40%) said disagreements arose because grandparents were too soft on their children, while 14% said they were too tough.

The most common areas of disagreement were over discipline, meals and snacks, and TV or screen time, followed by manners, health and safety, treating some grandchildren differently than others, bedtime, and sharing photos or information on social media.

If you are finding your parents are doing things that go against how you parent – or they’re making comments about your parenting style that are pretty negative – you’re probably going to have to sit down and have a chat with them about it. Otherwise the resentment is just going to pile up until someone blows a gasket.

“It is always best to have this conversation with them,” says Siobhan Butt, who runs Revive Relationships. “Be open, tell them how you are feeling, make it known that you respect them and appreciate that they have lots of life experience and wisdom to bring, but if you would like advice about a particular situation you will ask them for it.”

Likewise, if you see your parent saying or doing something to your child that you’re not happy or comfortable with – for instance, disciplining them in a certain way – don’t be afraid to pull them up on it.

“Boundaries are so important in this situation, like I said before talk to your parents, be open and honest and let them know what you are uncomfortable with and why,” says the therapist.

But be gentle with them, she warns, as it’s likely they aren’t trying to be malicious and they have the best intentions for you and their grandchildren.

“If you respond to their actions with hostility the situation could escalate and conflict can arise,” she adds.

If you do sit them down for a chat, you might want to remind them that while you respect them and value their input, you are uncomfortable with what they did – and then explain why, says the therapist. Finish the conversation by telling them you would appreciate it if they could not do this in the future.

Of course, sometimes this will fall upon deaf ears. Of those surveyed by C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital, 43% of parents said they’d asked a grandparent to change their behaviour to be consistent with their own choices or rules and while almost half (47%) found they did make a change, just over a third (36%) said the grandparent agreed to change their ways but didn’t, and 17% said the grandparent flat out refused.

“If it is a boundary that keeps being crossed, try being curious,” says Butt. “What is it that they find so difficult about keeping to this and how can you help them?”

With Christmas just around the corner and families coming together under one roof, tensions can run a little higher than normal – meaning the odds of a rift might be higher too.

Adene Sanchez via Getty Images

If you are feeling a bit tense because of something your parent has done or said to your child – or even about the way you parent – it’s important to recognise this and do something about it. “Just how we can recognise a song within a few seconds of hearing it, we can do this too with our own emotions,” says Butt.

“Before things feel like they are too much and your response turns into a reaction of hostility, take a deep breath, maybe remove yourself from the conversation or say you are feeling uncomfortable and you would appreciate it if the conversation could be changed.

“If difficult conversations normally end in shouting and upset think about the pattern of behaviours that normally happen: what role do you play and what can you do to help change this pattern?”

Grandparents are so important and often have so much to offer to your children – like they did to you when you were growing up (and still often do today). They are also, as writer Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett puts it, “the invisible glue holding our broken childcare system together”. Many will – and do – drop everything to get the chance to spend time with their grandkids.

That’s not to say that sometimes you won’t disagree with what they say or do – and vice versa – but after a heart-to-heart, you can often end up singing from the same hymn sheet. (Or at the very least, the same book.)

In cases where this doesn’t happen, ultimately it’s grandparents who lose out – 15% of parents said they limit the amount of time their child sees some grandparents, and these limitations were far more common when grandparents did not respect parenting choices.

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