‘Mother’s wrist’ – or de Quervain’s tenosynovitis, as it’s more formally known – is a very painful, not to mention common, issue for new mums.
Yet unless you’ve suffered with it, you’ve probably never heard of it.
The ailment causes pain in the base of the thumb and wrist whenever you use your thumb. It can make activities like opening jars, unscrewing the lid of milk bottles, changing nappies and lifting your tiny tot utterly agonising.
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Big Bang Theory’s Kaley Cuoco gave birth to her first child, Matilda, back in March – and took to Instagram in July to share a photo of herself wearing a compression bandage on her wrist. “They call it ‘mommy wrist,’” she wrote in the caption of the Instagram Story, later adding that she had it in both hands. Ouch.
“I had it with my third child, it was awful, I couldn’t pick her up,” added another mum. “I couldn’t lift anything, I got a steroid shot directly in my wrist and it went away within hours, never had an issue with it again.”
Axelle/Bauer-Griffin via Getty Images
Kaley Cuoco pictured at Pacific Design Center on June 01, 2023.
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What causes the issue?
According to the Health Service Executive (HSE), it could be caused by a combination of hormonal changes and increased pressure on the wrist tendons when lifting and holding a baby – which makes a lot of sense.
Women who breastfeed also have a higher chance of developing it, but it’s not clear why.
Symptoms
If you have ‘mother’s wrist’, you’ll certainly know about it. Symptoms include:
Pain on the thumb side of the wrist, which is aggravated by lifting the thumb or using scissors. The pain might travel up the arm.
Tenderness if you press on the site of pain
Swelling of the site of pain
Clicking or snapping of the tendons.
Experts at Bristol Chiropractic shared a handy way to know if you have the issue. Grip your thumb and gently pull it down and forwards away from you.
“If this causes pain, there is a good chance that this is the type of ‘baby wrist’ you are suffering with,” they explained.
Treatment
The good news is that milder cases of ‘mother’s wrist’ tend to go away in a couple of weeks – although sometimes this is more like months.
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In the meantime, if you’re struggling, HSE recommends easing the pain with ice massages, stretches, painkillers (paracetamol) or even wearing a rigid wrist splint. These can usually be obtained from a sports shop or physiotherapist.
It can also help to relieve the pain by resting the hand – although that’s easier said than done with a baby.
If the pain doesn’t ease off, speak to your GP or book in with a physiotherapist.
You’re reading Between Us, a place for parents to offload and share their tricky parenting dilemmas. Share your parenting dilemma here and we’ll seek advice from experts.
With the cost of living crisis, rocketing bills, and soaring rent payments, a growing number of adult children – dubbed ‘boomerang kids’ – are moving back in with their parents.
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In fact, as of 2021, there were 620,000 more adult children living with their parents compared to 10 years previous, census data found.
While lots of parents will enjoy the chance to spend more time with their grown-up children, having them move back in can also cause tension and rifts.
Such is the case for one anonymous HuffPost UK reader, who shared their parenting dilemma with us:
“Our adult son has moved home for the second time, and I desperately want him to move out. He came home after a highly toxic relationship breakdown during which time he had wiped out all of his savings. He reluctantly came home at my insistence, and said it would only be for 2-3 weeks, but never left, and never asked us if he could stay permanently.
“As such the ‘ground rules’ conversations never took place, although we’ve tried to have them several times since with no impact or improvement. Since moving home seven months ago, he has not changed his sheets, washed his towels, he’s doing nothing to improve his job prospects in order to earn a consistent living wage that would allow him to move out, he’s not doing what we suggest to save money to clear his debts quicker. He doesn’t routinely help out around the home – he’ll clean his own plate but won’t unload the dishwasher, for example. He’ll remove his clothes from the washing line but leave everything else in the rain.
“He pays us ‘rent’ weekly which is now consistent, but resents it. This is about a third of what it would cost him to live in a house-share where we live. We have tried to address all of the above issues many times, but nothing changes. I feel we have no choice but to ask him to leave, but I fear making him homeless.”
So, what can they do?
1. Sit down and talk
While the situation is clearly hard for the parent, therapists recommend they take a step back and consider that their son is probably struggling quite a bit at the moment, too.
“Are these current behaviours new, or are they out of character? I would want to know more about how your family have communicated in the past – do things get heated?” asks Counselling Directory member Octavia Landy.
She recommends setting a specific time for a family meeting and, in the first instance, talking with the son about what is happening for him. The parent needs to find out: how is he? Is he struggling at the moment? What would he like to happen in his life?
During this conversation, the parent can also talk to their son about how it feels for them when he is not pulling his weight, and how it’s impacting the rest of the family, she suggests.
This isn’t a finger-pointing exercise, so at the same time the parent can remind their son that they care – this could be as simple as asking him what he needs or figuring out how the family can work towards this goal together. Empathy is key.
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“It sounds like he is feeling lost and needs to make some changes, perhaps he feels overwhelmed,” adds the therapist.
2. Be prepared to listen calmly
When things get heated – which they can in these scenarios – it can be easy to just storm off and not really hear each other out. But every effort needs to be made, on both sides, to properly listen.
“As the parents, you will need to model consistency and keep calm,” suggests Landy.
“Bring the conversation back to the matter at hand, reiterate what you need to change, but also listen to your son. It sounds like there is something deeper happening for him, and by connecting on a new level, you can support each other and work together.”
3. Set clear boundaries
“Boundaries and communication lie at the heart of this dilemma,” says counsellor Georgina Sturmer, addressing the parent directly.
“At the moment, it feels as if the lack of boundaries is leading to a sense of anger and resentment on your part. It sounds like it might be time for you to communicate more effectively, ‘adult to adult’, about how you want your relationship to be.”
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The Counselling Directory member also suggests a bit of self-reflection on how the relationship with the son has changed since he became an adult.
“Consider what your boundaries look like,” adds Sturmer. “How do you communicate with him about what constitutes acceptable behaviour?”
It’s also important to figure out where the partner stands on all this, because if there’s disagreement over how is best to handle the situation, it could fuel the son’s behaviour further.
As there wasn’t really a clear cut establishing of boundaries when the son moved back in, now is the time to lay down the law and sweep any uncertainty under the rug.
“Work together to establish ground rules and a timeline for these to be reviewed. It will be important to check in with him on how things are progressing,” adds Landy.
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4. Ask yourself what you need to feel happy in your home
Sturmer suggests the parent should ask themselves what they need in order to be able to feel happy and safe in their home – and the answer might be a difficult one to come to terms with.
“It might be that this means that you need to ask him to leave,” she says. “If this triggers fears about him becoming homeless, then address these fears directly.
“Perhaps you can find a way to work together on a timeframe for him to leave home. Or if you don’t feel able to ask him to leave, start setting stricter ‘ground rules’, based on what you might expect from an adult living in your home.
“This can shift the dynamic from ‘parent to child’ to ‘adult to adult’. Even though he may always be your baby, remember that he is an adult, and he deserves to have an opportunity to be independent.”
Ultimately, communicating clearly, really listening to each other, and setting firm boundaries (and timelines) will be key in making all of this work.
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Landy concludes: “Change needs to happen, and whilst that can be scary, by working together you can hopefully support your son to stand on his own again, without having to ask him to leave.”
Help and support:
Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.
Chris Hughes, a former Love Island contestant, has been “spoken to” by the BBC after calling female cricketer Maitlan Brown a “little Barbie”.
Hughes was working for the broadcaster as an in-game interviewer during its coverage of The Hundred, the domestic limited-overs competition that the English Cricket Board hopes will expand the appeal of the game.
The presenter was interviewing Brown, an Australian player, as she was representing the Southern Braves during their clash against Trent Rockets.
Speaking about the togetherness in her team, Brown said: “We watched Barbie the other night all together and it was really good team bonding and the group is gelling really well together.”
Hughes replied: “You’re a little Barbie yourself, aren’t you, with your blue eyes.” As Brown laughed nervously, Hughes added: “She’s blushing now.”
After the comments generated a backlash on social media, a BBC spokesperson said: “We have spoken to Chris and explained that his comment was not appropriate.”
As well as presenting coverage of The Hundred, Hughes has also worked on ITV’s horse racing programmes. He appeared in the 2017 series of Love Island, finishing third.
When you become pregnant, and then give birth, there are a lot of dos and don’ts as far as taking medication is concerned.
For instance, ibuprofen isn’t advised for those who are pregnant – unless prescribed by a doctor. This, says Jana Abelovska, superintendent pharmacist at Click Pharmacy, is “due to the negative effects ibuprofen can have on a baby’s kidneys and circulatory system”.
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But after your baby has been born and is breastfeeding, what happens then? Should you still avoid it?
It’s no wonder then that ‘can I take ibuprofen while breastfeeding?’ is a commonly Googled query – alongside other popular asks like whether you can have Lemsip or Strepsils when breastfeeding.
We asked Abelovska to walk us through what pain relief medication parents can take, and should steer clear of, when breastfeeding little ones. Here’s her advice.
Is it safe to take ibuprofen when breastfeeding?
The good news is that for breastfeeding women, ibuprofen is “completely safe” to take – and is actually one of the recommended painkillers for women while breastfeeding, says the pharmacist.
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You can take it as a tablet or use it on your skin.
“Ultimately, only minuscule amounts of the drug pass from the breast milk into the baby’s body, and therefore pose no real risk to babies,” Abelovska explains.
Well, that’s a relief.
Can I take Lemsip when breastfeeding?
With cold and flu season lurking around the corner as we head towards the cooler months (sorry), people are also understandably interested in whether it’s OK to take decongestants like Lemsip when breastfeeding.
Abelovska says: “Interestingly, while decongestants – like Lemsip – are unlikely to directly affect a breastfeeding baby, they can have a negative effect on the mother’s milk supply.
“Therefore, it is recommended that breastfeeding mothers avoid all types of medical decongestants and instead use safer alternatives, such as inhaling steam.”
Experts at NetDoctor agree, saying the production of breast milk can decrease “with just one or two doses,” so Lemsip is “best avoided by mothers who are breastfeeding”.
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What about Strepsils?
Throat lozenges can help ease a sore throat if you’re struggling – but it’s always best to ask your pharmacist to recommend one that is safe for breastfeeding, according to the Health Service Executive (HSE).
In the case of Strepsils specifically, Abelovska says the Honey and Lemon varieties “seemingly pose no risk to breastfeeding women.”
But she warns other Strepsil products, such as Extra Triple Action Blackcurrant Lozenges, are not recommended.
“Strepsils’ package leaflet for the triple action throat sweets recommends avoiding the product if pregnant or breastfeeding,” she explains.
If you’re confused about what’s best to take, Abelovska recommends having an open discussion with your GP who can advise further.
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What medicines should you avoid when breastfeeding?
There are a wealth of medications that aren’t recommended for women while breastfeeding, says the pharmacist. “This can be for various reasons such as affecting milk supply or the risk of the medication getting into the milk.”
A video of a baby “two-stepping” is melting hearts everywhere.
In the clip, a healthcare worker can be seen stroking down each side of a newborn’s spine, with its bottom instinctively wiggling in the same direction.
But is this wizardry? Or is there a reason why babies do this?
Dr Karan Raj, a medical doctor and author of This Book May Save Your Life, took to TikTok to explain the phenomenon, which is known as the Galant reflex.
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The purpose of the reflex is to “encourage movement and develop a range of motion in the hips”, he said, which helps prepare babies for crawling and walking.
The reflex can also be tested in newborns so healthcare professionals can help rule out brain damage at birth, the doctor explained.
The doctor describes is as a “cute baby software glitch” because hypothetically, it should disappear by around nine months old.
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Reflexes happen when our bodies are stimulated in some way and our muscles respond to that stimulation.
“The presence and strength of a reflex is an important sign of nervous system development and function,” say experts at Mount Sinai.
A lot of infant reflexes – like the Galant reflex – disappear as a child gets older. If it’s still present as they age, it can be a sign of brain or nervous system damage.
Another fascinating reflex babies are born with is the rooting reflex, which happens when a baby’s mouth is stroked or touched.
According to Stanford Medicine, in response to this touch, the baby should turn their head and open their mouth to follow and root in the direction of the stroking.
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It basically helps them find the breast or bottle so they can fill up on milk.
They also have a suck reflex, whereby when the root of their mouth is touched, they’ll automatically start to suck.
And one many parents will be familiar with is the Moro reflex – otherwise known as the startle reflex. When there’s a loud noise or movement, a baby will throw back their head and extend their arms or legs out, like they’re falling.
Trump faces four felony charges as part of a sweeping, 45-page indictment filed in the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia. Special counsel Jack Smith’s team of investigators accused the former president of multiple conspiracies to defraud the United States, to obstruct an official proceeding and to deprive people of their right to vote and have that vote counted under the Constitution.
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Here are seven key things to know.
1. Trump knew his claims were false but spread them anyway to create an “intense national atmosphere of mistrust and anger.”
Prosecutors note that Trump, like every American, had the right to speak publicly about the election “and even to claim, falsely,” that there had been “outcome-determinative fraud.”
But his efforts became unlawful when he moved to defraud the United States and attempt to subvert the process of collecting, counting and certifying the election results. That plan, the indictment says, included a multi-prong approach to spread lies, install slates of fake electors in swing states and convince election officials and then-Vice President Mike Pence to subvert the will of the people.
“Despite having lost, the Defendant was determined to remain in power,” the indictment says.
Trump faces four felony charges in the special counsel’s investigation into his effort to remain in the Oval Office despite losing reelection in 2020.
via Associated Press
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2. The indictment identifies six co-conspirators.
Trump was aided in his effort to overturn the 2020 election by six unnamed co-conspirators, the indictment says.
Five of them are identifiable through details and information provided in the filing documents:
1. Rudy Giuliani is listed as “an attorney who was willing to spread knowingly false claims and pursue strategies that the Defendant’s 2020 re-election campaign attorneys would not.”
2. John Eastman is listed as “an attorney who devised and attempted to implement a strategy to leverage the Vice President’s ceremonial role overseeing the certification proceeding to obstruct the certification of the presidential election.”
3. Sidney Powell is listed as “an attorney whose unfounded claims of election fraud the Defendant privately acknowledged to others sounded ‘crazy.’”
4. Jeffrey Clark is identified as “a Justice Department official who worked on civil matters and who, with the Defendant, attempted to use the Justice Department to open sham election crime investigations and influence state legislatures with knowingly false claims of election fraud.”
5. Kenneth Chesebro is listed as “an attorney who assisted in devising and attempting to implement a plan to submit fraudulent slates of presidential electors to obstruct the certification proceeding.”
6. The sixth co-conspirator is so far unknown but is identified as “a political consultant who helped implement a plan to submit fraudulent slates of presidential electors to obstruct the certification proceeding.”
3. People in Trump’s orbit repeatedly told him there was no evidence of voter fraud.
The indictment alleges Trump and his co-conspirators made repeated, “prolific” claims of election fraud despite knowing they were false. Prosecutors say that Trump was repeatedly told by his inner circle his claims were untrue but that he “deliberately disregarded the truth.”
Smith’s team pointed to conversations Trump had with Vice President Mike Pence, senior leaders at the Justice Department, the director of national intelligence, the Department of Homeland Security and many aides, White House attorneys and campaign staffers, all of whom said his claims were unsubstantiated.
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The indictment names six co-conspirators, five of whom can be identified. They include attorneys Sidney Powell (left) and Rudy Giuliani.
Tom Williams via Getty Images
4. Trump acknowledged claims about election fraud and voting machines pushed by a co-conspirator sounded “crazy.”
The indictment notes that even as Trump’s legal advisers were working to undercut election results in Georgia, he knew the claims were unfounded and even described Co-Conspirator 3’s plan as “crazy.”
That sentiment spread through Trump’s close advisers as the effort to install slates of fake electors in swing states began in force in an effort to obstruct a true count of the Electoral College votes.
“Here’s the thing the way this has morphed it’s a crazy play so I don’t know who wants to put their name on it,” Trump’s deputy campaign manager at the time texted to other aides. No one agreed to put their name on the plan as they couldn’t “stand by it.”
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5. Trump pressured the Justice Department to support him and threatened to remove those who refused to go along with his plan.
Trump repeatedly tried to get the Department of Justice to support his false claims of election fraud, “thus giving the Defendant’s lies the backing of the federal government.” But the acting attorney general and acting deputy attorney general both refused, saying the agency would not and could not change the outcome of the election.
“Just say that the election was corrupt and leave the rest to me and the Republican congressmen,” Trump replied, the indictment says.
The former president then attempted to install Co-Conspirator 4 as acting attorney general to help further the plot. Trump backed down after many in the White House threatened a mass resignation.
Vice President Mike Pence and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) read the final certification of Electoral College votes cast in the 2020 presidential election at the Capitol on Jan. 7, 2021, hours after the congressional session was halted by rioting Trump supporters.
J. Scott Applewhite/Associated Press
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6. Pence’s notes helped the special counsel craft his case.
Trump heavily pressured Pence to support his effort to remain in power and reject the ceremonial certification of Joe Biden as the winner of the election.
Prosecutors pieced together details of Trump’s conversations and thinking around the time using Pence’s “contemporaneous notes” in the days leading up to Jan. 6.
The vice president rejected Trump’s attempts, telling him to his face that he didn’t believe he had the authority to do what Trump asked.
Trump later told Pence that he would have to publicly criticize him, the indictment says, which prompted his chief of staff to inform the Secret Service about fears for Pence’s safety.
7. Trump waited and watched on TV as his supporters stormed the Capitol.
The indictment claims Trump exploited the violence at the Capitol on Jan. 6 and resisted pleas from his aides and supporters to speak out as the insurrection grew.
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“When advisors urged the Defendant to issue a calming message aimed at the rioters, the Defendant refused, instead repeatedly remarking that the people at the Capitol were angry because the election had been stolen,” the document says.
MSNBC’s Mehdi Hasan said a new poll should be considered “funeral rites” for Republicans hoping to defeat Donald Trump in next year’s presidential primary.
And it’s especially bad news for Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, who has been the former president’s chief rival.
“Simply put, it’s done,” Hasan said on Monday evening. “If you had any doubts that this is Trump’s race and Trump’s race to lose, this poll will clear things up for you.”
The New York Times/Siena College poll released Monday shows Trump leading DeSantis by 37 percentage points and ahead by 31 points in a one-on-one matchup. No other candidate pulled more than 3% support. (The poll of 932 likely Republican primary voters was conducted from July 23 to 27.)
DeSantis has made “fighting wokeness” his signature issue, but Hasan noted that Trump polls ahead of him even on that topic.
“Not even close,” Hasan said.
The poll also shows that Trump has sealed his control over the GOP as most Republican voters are unswayed by the criminal charges against the former president.
Overall, just 17% of Republicans polled said they believed Trump had committed a crime. Among “MAGA” Republicans, that number is 0%.
Among likely GOP primary voters, the former president is commanding 54% support and leads his nearest rival, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, by a whopping 37 percentage points.
His other challengers, including his onetime running mate, former Vice President Mike Pence, are all polling at low single digits.
Trump outperformed other candidates by large margins in nearly every single demographic polled. DeSantis especially floundered among the Republicans’ most influential demographics, earning only 9% support among voters 65 and older. Even if all other candidates dropped out, the poll found, Trump would still be poised to beat DeSantis 62 to 31.
Monday’s poll further cements the results of previous ones. Last week, a Monmouth University poll found that nearly 7 in 10 GOP voters believe Trump is either “definitely” or “probably” the party’s strongest candidate to unseat President Joe Biden.
Trump’s success in the polls comes despite his legal troubles. In March, a Manhattan grand jury indicted him over a $130,000 hush money payment made to the porn star Stormy Daniels, who alleges the two had an affair, shortly before the 2016 election. Then, last month, a federal grand jury indicted Trump after an investigation found he took highly classified documents from the White House to his Mar-a-Lago resort and residence in Florida.
Monday’s poll comes about three weeks ahead of the first Republican debate in Milwaukee and about six months out from the Iowa Republican caucuses.
Angus Cloud, the actor who played Fez on the HBO series Euphoria, has died at age 25, his family said in a statement on Monday.
“It is with the heaviest heart that we had to say goodbye to an incredible human today,” Cloud’s family said in a statement to TMZ, which first reported his death. He died at his family’s home in Oakland, California, according to NBC News.
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“As an artist, a friend, a brother and a son, Angus was special to all of us in so many ways. Last week he buried his father and intensely struggled with this loss. The only comfort we have is knowing Angus is now reunited with his dad, who was his best friend. Angus was open about his battle with mental health and we hope that his passing can be a reminder to others that they are not alone and should not fight this on their own in silence,” the family’s statement continued.
“We are incredibly saddened to learn of the passing of Angus Cloud. He was immensely talented and a beloved part of the HBO and Euphoria family. We extend our deepest condolences to his friends and family during this difficult time,” accounts for HBO and Euphoria tweeted on Monday.
We are incredibly saddened to learn of the passing of Angus Cloud. He was immensely talented and a beloved part of the HBO and Euphoria family. We extend our deepest condolences to his friends and family during this difficult time. pic.twitter.com/ijyxQidrF6
Besides Euphoria, Cloud had two other roles in current projects, including Freaky Tales which is in post-production, and an untitled thriller that was in the process of filming.
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Cloud also appeared in Juice WRLD’s music video for the song Cigarettes in 2022 and Becky G and Karol G’s music video for the song Mamiii. The Euphoria actor also played roles in the 2021 film North Hollywood and The Line, which was released on June 9.
Euphoria was Cloud’s first acting job, he told Variety in a 2022 interview where he also discussed surviving a fall as a teenager in which he broke his skull. He told Variety that acting is “the best job” he’d ever had.
“But there’s plenty of other stuff I could see myself doing,” he added. “Buy a boat. Find an island. Post up in a tent. See what happens next.”
What’s stopping new mums from breastfeeding? That’s the question photographer Ania Hrycyna set out to uncover when she gathered 15 mothers together for a candid festival-inspired photoshoot of them feeding their babies.
Ahead of World Breastfeeding Week (1-7 August), the South London-based photographer and mother brought together a group of local women at a local airfield and asked them about the challenges they’d experienced in their breastfeeding journeys.
The photographer’s hope is that their stories – and gorgeous photos – will foster more empathy and understanding of the difficulties women face. And one theme that crops up time and time again is the lack of support new mothers face.
Here are some of their stories.
‘He struggled to latch and I received very little support from midwives at the hospital’
Ania Hrycyna
Gloria
I started breastfeeding my firstborn in May 2017. He was tiny and very sleepy, really struggled to latch and I received very little support from the midwives at the hospital.
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Once at home, he lost 13% of his birth weight. The home health visiting team were fabulous and helped me increase my milk supply and get onto an exclusively breastfeeding path which we followed for two-and-a-half years (until a couple of weeks before the birth of his little brother).
I thought after breastfeeding for two-and-a-half years it would be a doddle the second time around, but I guess I underestimated that my new little bundle had to find his way, too.
I managed to settle onto breastfeeding Hugo, who again I fed for two-and-a-half years. This time until I was about 30 weeks pregnant with my third baby, Max.
I have recently gone back to work after maternity leave so just learning to live in our new chaos and finding the right balance between expressing at work and co-sleeping so that he can get all his milk feeds.
I love the bond from breastfeeding my babies.
‘I never knew two breastfeeding journeys could be so different’
Ania Hrycyna
Clare
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In 2020, I became a mother to our first child Lilah Ottalie. Breastfeeding was something I had set my heart on and it came so naturally to us both – born in water, she climbed up and latched on within moments, despite having a tongue tie.
She fed perfectly throughout my second pregnancy in 2022 and is still going strong today.
Our second child, Ottis Malachi, had a harder time learning to latch and feed. He was born very fast, he was tired and so was I – everything was a blur. He didn’t feed at all for the first 48 hours, he never got any of my golden colostrum. I felt very let down by the team at the hospital, I still do.
They wanted him to try formula as he couldn’t latch and he was losing energy. Lilah has a severe cow’s milk protein allergy that had her in and out of hospital for the first eight months of her life. I have been dairy-free for the last three-and-a-half years for this reason.
The hospital could only offer me cow’s milk formula for Ottis, which I had no choice but to accept. He reacted more or less straight away and I knew the symptoms so well that I declined the next feed. It was all on me.
Giving birth in lockdown meant my partner wasn’t allowed in to support me either, and it was the first time I had ever left Lilah, who was still breastfeeding and wasn’t allowed in to see us. I was heartbroken with a new baby that needed me.
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We stayed in for four days until we were discharged with a feeding plan of me exclusively pumping to supply him with what he needed. Ottis had a lot of problems – we found out he also had a tongue tie and a high palate with a shallow latch.
At six days old he finally latched on his own for the first time. He really struggled to find his way to my nipple, so it was suggested at six weeks that we replicate being born and the newborn crawl to the boob. It helped and I was so emotional.
I had been told I wouldn’t be able to feed him and it was a long road but we got there in the end. He still wouldn’t latch every time and struggled a lot, he used to get very frustrated and chompy which had me in a lot of pain and tears. He also has low muscle tone making it hard for him to hold on when feeding.
I never knew two breastfeeding journeys could be so different. I have now been tandem feeding for a further year-and-a-half.
‘We need to be more open about the issues surrounding breastfeeding and where to go for support’
Ania Hrycyna
Kirsty
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I knew I wanted to try breastfeeding, but also knew things might not work out and I didn’t want to feel too let down if I wasn’t able to. If anything I had almost convinced myself that I may not be able to because I was unable to harvest any colostrum before giving birth – despite my best efforts. I made sure to pack bottles of formula in my hospital bag.
With there being so much emphasis on ‘breast being best’ I did feel a bit guilty about being so comfortable with the idea of giving my baby formula straight away, like I had quit before starting – but now looking back I realise I had a lot of worries about breastfeeding in general with questions in my mind such as: Will I produce enough milk? Will it mean my body will never be my own again? Will my nipples be leaking milk all the time?
When I gave birth to my daughter, suddenly all of the feelings of anxiety and worry were quickly replaced with confidence as I watched her crawl up my stomach after birth, navigate her way to my boob and latch her little mouth – it was truly magical.
In this moment I fully understood and felt what my hypnobirthing teacher had meant when she said to trust your body and baby. Breastfeeding hasn’t come without the lows, though, and one of the things that surprised me was the pain – especially in those initial weeks when my daughter would cluster feed.
We’re told that breastfeeding should be a pain-free experience that will come naturally to us and our babies, which I don’t believe is true for the majority of women. I cried numerous times through the hard times in our journey, constantly thinking: why is this so tough when it’s supposed to be the most natural thing?
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I think as a society we need to be more open about the issues surrounding breastfeeding and where to go for support, so that women can prepare themselves for the common issues and not struggle silently.
‘I felt like I was already failing as a mother, less than an hour after becoming one’
Ania Hrycyna
Ligia breastfeeding her baby.
I always knew I wanted to breastfeed my children – my trouble was in having those children. After a good few years, I finally got pregnant thanks to the miracle of science, and then Covid-19 struck.
Serafina was born in September 2020. I tried to feed her in the minutes after birth, but she wouldn’t latch. I was devastated, especially as the breastfeeding nurses kept telling me it was because I have flat nipples. Hormones and tiredness didn’t help, but I felt that not only could I not conceive naturally, I couldn’t feed her naturally either. I felt like I was already failing as a mother, less than an hour after becoming one.
The following day, I was ‘allowed’ to express, so at least she was getting the good stuff… When I got home, I persevered with breastfeeding – my husband bought every contraption under the sun to try and help with my ‘flat nipples’ and the midwife who visited on day five tried to help me with positioning.
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Serafina did start feeding, but I was in agony, kept getting blocked ducts, and had a baby or a pump attached to my boobs nearly 24/7. About six weeks after Serafina was born, I finally plucked up the courage to join a breastfeeding Zoom session. I was recommended a lactation consultant who arrived the next day and diagnosed a severe posterior tongue tie within two minutes of walking in the door and advised the stabbing, freezing pains I was feeling was vasospam.
A mere 10 seconds after the tongue tie was severed, Serafina latched onto my boob – and it felt amazing.
When we decided to try and have another baby, I was told I wouldn’t be able to start the hormone treatment until I’d stopped breastfeeding Serafina. After everything we’d been through to get to this point, how was I going to stop?! And why was I putting a potential future baby ahead of the real life baby girl I held in my arms?!
The guilt was crushing. But we eventually did it (with many tears!). Persephone was born in January this year and latched on and started feeding within minutes. It was a totally different experience. It still didn’t feel quite right, but it wasn’t painful. Tongue tie was discounted, so I just got on with it.
We were eventually referred to the tongue tie clinic because Persephone had green stools, and lo and behold, she had posterior tongue tie. To say I was annoyed is an understatement. But at six months old, she is now feeding much better. It has not been an easy journey, but I’m so proud of myself and my girls.
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‘There is so much more to breastfeeding than just feeding a baby’
Ania Hrycyna
Helen breastfeeding her child.
I always knew I wanted to breastfeed, so when my eldest daughter was born in 2013 I was delighted when it came quite easily to us both. When her younger brother was born 16 months later, it was a different story.
He had a tongue tie and feeding was really painful. I didn’t know how or where to access good support and believed the people who told me nothing could be done to make his feeding more comfortable.
I fed him for a year but it was a good three months before it felt comfortable. The same thing happened with his younger sister, born 18 months later and also with a tongue tie.
When my fourth baby was born and feeding was again painful, I knew a bit more about tongue tie and what to do. We found support, had her tie divided and feeding was so much easier from then on.
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I decided to train as a breastfeeding counsellor, partly because I had always loved feeding my babies (despite the pain) and wanted to understand it more, and partly because I wanted to be able to offer others the support I had so desperately needed myself.
I spent two years completing a foundation degree and during that time my fifth and sixth babies came along, both with tongue tie. I recently gave birth to my seventh baby (again with tongue tie), who is in this photoshoot.
I find it so rewarding to be able to help people to work through difficulties and to be able to continue breastfeeding, where that is important to them. It has also been a huge help to my own breastfeeding journeys, which have not been without their difficulties, to understand how breastfeeding works and the impact that the various challenges can have.
I hear first-hand how valuable that support is for new parents and I am passionate about providing accessible support to anyone who needs it through drop-ins, free telephone helpline support and signposting to other services.
There is so much more to breastfeeding than just feeding a baby and I enjoy the constant learning that comes with working in breastfeeding support.
