14 Underrated Sex Positions That Will Get You There Quicker Than Doggy

These days, for many couples, doggy style has become the default alternative to missionary, even among those who consider themselves sexually adventurous.

For many couples who aren’t acrobats, it can feel like there are only two choices: missionary or doggy. I don’t know about you, but I’m not holding myself up in a plank for several minutes, and there’s no chance my partner is lifting me against a wall.

The good news? There are plenty of sex positions that sit comfortably in between. If you’ve found yourself stuck in the doggy rut, it might be time to switch things up.

1. Sideways 69

The 69 position has essentially become a punchline at this point, but the two-sided oral position is one to behold. And it doesn’t have to be as demanding as the classic version.

“Traditional 69 can get surprisingly athletic,” explained Lisa Opel, sex educator at MYLO, a brand that sells intimate wellness and pleasure products.

“Turning onto your sides keeps the simultaneous oral but means nobody has to hold themselves up like they are midway through a core workout. Hands and toys are easy to bring in too. And if one person gets so distracted by receiving that they forget what they were doing, just roll with it, you’ve accidentally transitioned into oral or Pillow Princess, which is hardly a tragedy.”

2. The Lazy Susan

A lot of standing sex positions look fun, but seem like they’d wreak havoc on your joints and send blood rushing to your head. The lazy Susan, also known as the couch surfer, is the low-key antidote to all those wild, acrobatic positions. It’s convenient for a quickie, especially if you’re already hanging out in the living room.

The receiving partner bends over the arm of a couch while the giving partner enters them from behind. The receiver can grind against the firm-but-cushy arm for multiple forms of stimulation with minimal effort.

This position can also be applied to beds, and comes recommended by Bryony Lees, sex educator at sextoys.co.uk.

“One partner lies comfortably towards the edge of the bed while the other stays beside it,” Lees shared. “It changes up the angle without too much hassle, and you can use a pillow underneath the hips if you want more elevation.”

Looking to take this position up a notch? Have the receiver cross their ankles, which can engage their pelvic floor and gluteal muscles more tightly around the giving partner’s penis or dildo.

3. Lazy Doggy

All the perks of doggy style, without the effort. Once you go lazy doggy, you may have very little motivation to get back up. It’s essentially the same position, just lying down. Lisa Finn, a sex educator at Babeland, is always recommending this one.

“One of my most recommended positions is actually a riff on doggy, since there’s no arguing that the perks of doggy style sex are something that a lot of partners understandably seek out,” Finn explained.

“Lazy doggy (or assisted doggy) is a ‘hit-it-from-the-back’ position like doggy style, but instead of the receiving partner being on all fours, they’re lying over a positioning pillow or something else that props up their core, like the arm of a couch. Having yourself propped up on a positioning pillow allows the hips to open more, giving easier and deeper access for the person penetrating, as well as better angles for G-spot or prostate stimulation for the receiver.”

Finn continues: “Unlike standard doggy, in lazy doggy your weight is supported by the pillow underneath you, which means you don’t have to worry about using your arms to prop yourself up, which can be difficult to sustain on a soft surface like a mattress. Not having to worry about supporting your weight can allow you to really relax and focus on sensation, rather than balance.”

4. Grinding The Corn

Georgina Vass, a relationship and sex therapist, recommends the coital alignment technique (CAT), also known by its rather more entertaining name: “grinding the corn.”

“Coital alignment technique, or ‘grinding the corn,’ is a variation of the missionary position designed to optimise the likelihood of the female, or bottom, partner achieving orgasm through clitoral stimulation,” she explained.

“Rather than the standard in-and-out motion of missionary, the position uses a slow, controlled rocking, or ‘grinding,’ motion.

“The idea is that most of the clitoris lies beneath the surface in a wishbone shape. If the partner on top applies pressure to the vulva of the partner below, the unseen parts of the clitoris can be stimulated, potentially helping the bottom partner reach orgasm.

“To try CAT, start in the missionary position. The top partner then shifts their body slightly forward – their chest may end up closer to the other partner’s face. The bottom partner stays in the usual missionary position, with their legs open. Both partners should be pelvis-to-pelvis, with the penis or toy angled downward.

“Once the penis or toy is partially inserted, both partners can move away from the familiar in-and-out motion and instead ‘grind’ against each other using a rhythmic rocking movement.”

You don’t have to have hinges to do all these positions.

Illustration: HuffPost; Photo: Getty Images

You don’t have to have hinges to do all these positions.

5. The Hot Seat

If you like spooning, there are plenty of ways to switch up this lazy position.

The big spoon sits on the edge of the bed or a chair – which can be a great option if you have back issues – while the little spoon sits on top, facing away. The position offers some serious G-spot stimulation, along with the rear-entry angle that keeps so many of us coming back to doggy style.

But unlike doggy style, seated spooning gives the receiving partner much more control. They can easily adjust the depth and speed of penetration using their legs, making it a comfortable option for anyone who wants to stay in control without having to do all the work.

“If you’re usually having sex lying down, switching to a seated position can instantly make things feel exciting and fresh,” Finn explained. “The classic spooning position is already great for G-spot/prostate stimulation, and sitting gives the receiving partner even more control of the angle to find what feels best by leaning forward or back.”

6. Mutual Masturbation

There’s something inherently sexy about watching a partner touch themselves, and Tara Suwinyattichaiporn (also known as Dr. Tara), an intimacy and relationships expert and co-host of Celebs Go Dating, thinks it’s a low-stakes way to spice up your sex life. She wants us to try mutual masturbation the next time we have the urge to fall back on doggy style.

“This position involves partners lying next to each other and engaging in self-pleasure, either manually or with toys,” Suwinyattichaiporn explained.

“This is an amazing position for low effort while still involving each other’s sexual energy and orgasming together, which can be very bonding. Bonus points if partners can also engage with each other physically – for example, giving the male partner a few hand strokes or kissing. The male partner can kiss and lick the nipples while both engage in self-pleasure. Spicy, fun, easy and no penetration needed for orgasm.”

7. Face-Off

The best sex sometimes happens off the bed. Don’t worry, we won’t make you risk rug burn for a good orgasm. How about bringing a chair into the mix? It’s time to face off with your partner.

“One partner sits on the edge of the bed or on a sturdy chair while the other straddles them, facing towards them,” Opel explained. “The receiving partner gets plenty of control over depth and rhythm without needing a full squat or endless leg strength. You get kissing, eye contact if that’s your thing, and lots of access for hands. It works just as well for strap-on sex, which makes it easy to adapt across different bodies and couples.”

And if there happens to be a mirror beside you both, all the better.

8. The Velvet Spoon

Kate Moyle, a psychosexual therapist for LELO, the sexual wellness brand, is a big fan of switching up existing positions. Step aside, spooning – it’s time for the velvet spoon.

“A slower, less active position doesn’t necessarily have to mean boring, and spooning is a position with gentle but great versatility,” Moyle explained.

“Partners lie side by side, facing the same way, with the penetrating partner positioned behind. While it’s a non-facing position, it still offers a sense of intimacy and closeness, particularly as you can easily adapt it with neck kissing. The neck is one of the most popular non-genital erogenous zones due to its high density of nerve endings, which makes it very sensitive.”

Moyle continued, “You can also add other forms of simultaneous stimulation, such as nipple play and clitoral stimulation, either manually by either partner or by introducing a sex toy. A wand-style toy or bullet vibrator are good options for this, as they can be held by either partner or positioned and held by the thighs of the front partner. Another option would be a small finger vibrator, which can again be worn by either partner.

“A good water-based lubricant is also the perfect addition for clitoral play with either hands or a vibrator.”

9. Free-Hand Spooning

Ally Iseman, a relationship coach certified by the International Coaching Federation, wants you to level up your spooning with some hands-on action.

“Lie on your sides facing the same way, with the receiving partner’s back tucked against the penetrating partner’s chest,” she said. “The receiver slides their top knee forward toward their chest to open up the angle. Enter from behind, then trade thrusting for a slow, deep, synchronised rocking motion that keeps your hips pressed together. Use a belt to lasso your hips together if you’re both open to a little bondage, too.”

“In this position, you both have a hand free, so one of you can put it to the clitoris or hand the job over to a small vibrator,” she continued. “Or the receiving partner can guide the penetrating partner’s free hand wherever they want it along their torso, chest, hips, or neck, like that scene in the movie ‘Ghost.’

“Spooning keeps the rear-entry angle people love about doggy and gives the clitoris its seat back at the table. Nobody is holding up their own body weight, and nobody is watching your face for a reaction. A watched pot never boils, and a watched vulva rarely orgasms. Orgasm needs enough physical stimulation and enough psychological safety for the body to surrender. The ‘boring’ positions are often the ones that deliver both.”

10. The Sledge

“If you’re looking to switch things up, The Sledge can be a fun one to explore together,” explained April Maria, sexologist and sex educator at the sex toy brand Hot Octopuss. “It’s very similar to the missionary position; however, the top partner turns and lies in the other direction.”

“This position is not only easy to achieve and doesn’t require any bending or flexibility, but it also gives plenty of control over the movement, pace, and extra accessibility to the genitals. Both partners can use their hands to add extra touch to areas such as the clitoris, testicles, perineum and anus.”

Now for the logistics of this sleigh ride. “One partner lies on the bed with their legs slightly separated,” Maria explained. “The other partner sits on top, facing away, stretches their legs to their partner’s shoulders, and rests their chest on their partner’s legs.”

11. The Lotus

“The Lotus sounds much fancier than it actually is,” Lees explained. “One partner sits down while the other straddles them face-to-face. Being this close also makes it easy to add other kinds of stimulation at the same time, and combining different sensations can be great if orgasm is the goal.”

This position not only offers great grinding potential, but is extremely intimate. You get to have your bodies pressed flush together. Even without penetration, we recommend this position for the added sensations and intimacy.

12. Pillow-Supported Missionary

The most boring sex positions can get a complete makeover with one simple accessory. Sometimes that’s a bullet vibrator or a pair of handcuffs. Other times, it’s just a pillow.

“Sometimes all you need is a pillow,” Lees explained. “Placing one underneath the hips during missionary slightly changes the angle of the pelvis, which can make it easier to find the position that feels best for you. Once you’ve found that sweet spot, you can keep the angle and rhythm consistent rather than constantly readjusting, which can be really helpful when you’re trying to build toward orgasm.”

You can buy a pillow designed specifically for sex, or simply use one you already have. We’d recommend changing the pillowcase afterward, though.

13. Butterfly

The butterfly is a surprisingly low-effort position that adds extra intimacy and pleasure without requiring Olympic-level flexibility.

“Butterfly is a great pick if you’re into deeper penetration,” Finn shared. “With the penetrating partner standing, they can find a deeper angle, while positioning the receiving partner at the edge of the bed opens the hips for even more access.”

In this position, the receiving partner lies on their back at the edge of a bed or other sturdy surface, while the penetrating partner stands or kneels between their legs. The penetrating partner does most of the work, while the receiving partner can adjust their legs for comfort or to change the angle of stimulation.

Finn continued, “Since the receiving partner is lying down and doesn’t need their arms to support their weight, their hands are open to be able to touch themselves – or are available to be tied up, like with a set of bed restraints. And because of the angle, butterfly makes eye contact easy, which can be a major bonus if you like seeing your partner’s reactions and watching each other as you play.”

14. Snow Angel

Despite the frosty name, this position can even be a great option during a heatwave, since you’re not pressed up against each other the whole time.

The snow angel takes inspiration from the classic missionary position but gives it a bit of an upside-down twist. The receiver lies flat on their back while the giver lies the other way around, face down. Think of it as 69, but with your genitals positioned together rather than at each other’s faces.

The receiver then wraps their legs around the giver’s back to elevate their pelvis for better penetration. They’ll be very much in the driving seat when it comes to thrusting, while the giver can hold onto their butt to help control the motion. There should also be some nice clitoral grinding in the process.

“The snow angel position provides an angle of entry that’s much different than most other positions, which provides a really unique sensation with each thrust,” Finn explained. “The position also allows for plenty of body-to-body contact, which is great if you like grinding or more pressure against the clit during sex. And unlike with most penetrative positions, the receiving partner is the one that gets a front-row view of their partner’s butt, giving plenty of opportunity to bring some back door stimulation into the mix. Use fingers or a toy to stimulate around the rim or to explore some penetration/prostate play, or simply squeeze, slap, or spank their cheeks as you play.”

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The Issues Straight Women Bring Up Most In Sex Therapy

Sexologist comment provided by licensed sexologist, relationship therapist, and author at Passionerad, Sofie Roos.

Last week, sexologist and therapist Sofie Roos shared the issues straight men most often brought up in sex therapy.

And this week, she spoke to us about straight women.

Here, she shared the topics she hears about most frequently:

1) Having a lower sex drive than their partner

“The single most common problem straight women bring up with me is that their sex drive has decreased or is overall low, while their partner is way more interested in being intimate, leading to worries and tension in the relationship,” Roos told us.

She added that women may be more likely to compare their lust levels to their partner’s, and feel their lower desire poses an “issue”.

2) Pain during penetrative sex

Experiencing pain during sex thanks to conditions like vulvodynia, vaginal dryness, or pelvic floor issues is “extremely common” among this group, said Roos.

“What most don’t know is that there’s both a physical and mental part… pain leads to fear, and fear leads to deeper problems,” leaving some in a vicious cycle.

3) Not orgasming during partnered sex

Straight women have long suffered from “the orgasm gap”. The sexologist said this doesn’t seem to be going away.

“Many straight women are having a very hard time orgasming during intimacy with their partner, and they don’t know how to solve it,” she said.

4) Body image issues

“I’ve met countless straight women that are extremely aware of how their own bodies look, smell and feel… they think so much about age, weight and how they are seen that it becomes difficult to just let go and be in the moment,” Roos added.

5) Losing desire thanks to the mental load

In straight relationships, the mental load – or having to think about, keep track of, and remember the endless tasks that keep a household going – still predominantly falls on women’s shoulders.

And the sexologist said that can have a knock-on effect in the bedroom. Doing “all the planning… as well as all the emotional work in the relationship” can “lead to higher stress levels, which makes the body de-prioritise desire”.

6) Not putting their own pleasure first

“I often meet women who describe themselves as having a hard time with setting their sexual needs and boundaries first, as they’ve been taught to be accommodating rather than prioritise what they want and don’t want,” she stated.

So, uh, any advice?

Yes. The sexologist said that accepting shifts in your levels of lust and trying alternative forms of intimacy, like “oral sex, massage, kisses, caresses and more mentally-focused pleasure, such as roleplaying or dirty talk,” may help.

Explore your own desires, perhaps through masturbation, and communicate them with your partner. “As a majority of women can only reach all the way via clitoral stimulation, I also advise focusing more on that, either with your hands, mouth or a sex toy,” the sexologist said.

Remember also that “pain during sex isn’t normal”, so it’s important to seek professional help if you experience it.

And keep in mind that “your sex life isn’t isolated from the rest of the way you live, so try to look at your diet, sleep schedule, exercise habits, how you drink, how you deal with stress and how your relationships are,” she concluded.

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This Is The Psychology Behind Why You Can’t Get Over THAT Ex

We all know that Wuthering Heights is not about a love that we should aspire to, right? We know that their bond was eventually very toxic, that they mistreated each other and everybody around them, and it ended anything but happily ever after.

All of that being said, watching Emerald Fennell’s take on the novel can definitely remind you of a certain ex. Not the one you had an amicable split with, not the ‘fun summer fling’. No. This ex is the one that you had the senselessly passionate relationship with. Everything was aflame and when it ended, you went no-contact. Probably because your friends begged you to.

It’s not romantic but it’s definitely alluring: the thrill of the chase, the passion between you, the way they took up residence in your head and squeezed into every thought… they’re pretty unforgettable, probably quite toxic, and seeing a highly stylised version on-screen with this blockbuster can easily reignite certain memories.

Why you can’t get over your toxic ex

On paper it should be easy, but getting over this kind of ex is not simple, much like the bond itself – as divorce coach Carol Madden notes on Medium: toxic relationships take longer to heal from than healthier ones.

Speaking to Business Insider, relationship expert Jessica Alderson explained that these kind of relationships are a bit like an addiction, saying: “They are often characterised by extreme highs, during which relationships seem perfect and magical, followed by crashing lows, which are usually caused by a partner pulling away or acting out – this can make people feel alive.”

Once the relationship finally ends, your body can still crave this unpredictability. She added: “The emotional rollercoaster can make it harder to move on and accept that the relationship wasn’t meant to be.”

How to get over an ex

Clinical psychologist Dr Ruth Ann Harpur suggested that after a relationship breaks down, people will naturally try to seek answers about where it all went wrong – and while it’s a “crucial step” in the early moments of the breakup, it’s important not to keep going over every detail of the relationship and your ex’s behaviour.

If you get stuck ruminating, you become “tied to the past” and end up reliving the pain, she suggested. So, her advice is to: “Understand that ruminating on past abuses may feel safe but it keeps you from living fully in the present and building healthier relationships.”

She also urges people to focus on activities they really enjoy to keep busy and connect with themselves again, and to open themselves to new friendships and relationships.

Experts at Calm have a guide to getting over a relationship with advice that includes:

  • Clearing out physical reminders of them.
  • Allowing yourself to feel your feelings.
  • Limiting or cutting contact with them, including on social media.
  • Setting new goals.
  • And seeking therapy.

It isn’t easy, but you can move on.

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Coital Alignment Technique: Why This Sex Position Reliably Gets Women Off

You’ve probably heard of the orgasm gap: in heterosexual relationships, women statistically have fewer orgasms than men. Much can — and should! — be done to improve that, starting with a better understanding of what your partner needs to reliably get off. A good place to start is upgrading your go-to bedroom moves.

Take the missionary position, for example. You and your partner may count this classic sex position as a favorite because of the intimacy it provides, but sex therapists say one small tweak can take it from “good” to much, much better.

The “coital alignment technique,” aka CAT, is a modified version of missionary sex, where the man rides a little higher, sliding his body up an inch or two so that the base of the penis rubs against the woman’s clitoris.

Here’s a little visual aid:

The “coital alignment technique,” aka CAT.

Illustration by Isabella Carapella

The “coital alignment technique,” aka CAT.

In one study of women who were unable to orgasm from missionary sex, published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, those who learned the CAT reported a 56 percent increase in their orgasm frequency.

CAT is a game-changer because most women need a little clitoral stimulation to get off, said Megan Fleming, a New York City-based psychologist and sex therapist. Penetration alone doesn’t always do the trick.

“Roughly two-thirds of women don’t have an orgasm with penetration alone,” Fleming told HuffPost. “CAT offers direct pressure and rocking and grinding that gives women additional clitoral stimulation.”

So how do you assume the position, so to speak?

Sadie Allison, a sexologist and author of Ride ’Em Cowgirl! Sex Position Secrets for Better Bucking, gave us a rundown:

Start in the traditional missionary position, she said, with a small pillow under the woman’s hips, to give her some lift and support the pelvis angle.

“After you gently slide inside, shift your body up several inches, positioning yourself so your pelvis is directly on top of hers,” she said. “You should be higher up on her now, with your chest near her shoulders versus face-to-face. With this new alignment, your penis shaft is now providing pleasurable friction against her vulva and clitoris with every stroke.”

To up the ante, put a little more work into grinding, Allison said.

“While staying snug and pressed against her, grind and gyrate your pelvis in small circles against her vulva,” she said. “Try visualizing her clitoris as you press on it, and resist the temptation to lift off and thrust in and out. Just keep your penis snugly inside her, and find the rhythm she needs. ”

“You’ll know it’s working when you feel her holding you tighter and pulling you closer with her legs!” she added.

There’s an extra bonus for guys, too, outside of providing partners with intense pleasure, said Lori Buckley, a sex therapist and author of 21 Decisions for Great Sex and A Happy Relationship.

“An extra benefit is that this may also help men last longer since they don’t experience the same heightened arousal that fast, deep thrusting provides,” Buckley said.

Win-win. Now go get busy.

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The Best Scents To Use In The Bathroom For A Sensual Experience

With fans already anticipating that bathtub scene between Benedict Bridgerton and Sophie Baek, sensual baths have quietly moved to the forefront of our collective imagination.

Set in a firelit room and framed as a moment of trust and vulnerability, the scene which appears in Julia Quinn’s Offer From a Gentleman and has already been teased in the Bridgerton season 4 part 2 trailer, taps into a growing appetite for intimacy that’s built through atmosphere rather than spectacle.

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With Valentine’s Day landing just days before the episode airs on February 26, it’s no surprise that many are thinking about how to recreate that same mood at home, and if you’re one of them, we have expert guidance on hand.

The most erotic candle scents for a sensual bath experience

Of course, when it comes to a sexy suds-y experience, scent is everything and with this in mind, we spoke with Archie MacDonald, Director of Highland Soap Co. to learn about which scents create the most romantic atmosphere.

He commented: “Fragrance is closely linked to emotion and memory, which is why scent can have such a strong effect on intimacy. It’s something people don’t always consciously think about, but whether you’re choosing a gift or simply trying to elevate an evening with your partner, scent plays a powerful role in shaping how a moment feels and how it’s remembered.”

This makes perfect sense. The power of smell to bring us to a different place, mood, even person is incredible.

The scent expert added: “Rose and patchouli have long been associated with intimacy because of the way they work together on a sensory level. Rose absolute brings a soft, delicate floral note that feels calming and comforting, while patchouli adds an earthy warmth that grounds the scent and gives it depth. The result is a fragrance that feels uplifting and soothing at the same time, creating an atmosphere that’s relaxed and sensual.

“Whether it’s through a scented candle in the home or a soap used as part of a daily routine, incorporating rose and patchouli into everyday moments can help create a sense of closeness and connection without needing anything overly elaborate.”

Brb, need to make my bathroom look and smell romantic AF.