‘Help! My Toddler Won’t Stop Peeing And Pooing In Their Cot’

You’re reading Between Us, a place for parents to offload and share their tricky parenting dilemmas. Share your parenting dilemma here and we’ll seek advice from experts.

Raising a toddler can be a wild ride. One moment they’re telling you they love you, the next you’re dislodging a small plastic sheep that’s been launched across the room from your head (just me?).

As they grow up and understand more of the world, they will test the water with all manner of behaviours – colouring on the floor; hitting; or even *checks notes* removing their nappy and pooing or weeing all over their bed.

Such is the case for one anonymous HuffPost UK reader, who shared their parenting dilemma with us:

Our toddler recently started taking their nappy off in the cot and then peeing or pooing all over their bed. We do a whole bedtime process including reading books, singing lullabies and then we will tell them it’s time to sleep and leave the room. In the past, they would go to sleep at this point, however just recently they’ve started to undress themselves and will pull their nappy off and then urinate or poo in the bed, including on the duvet, sheets and pillows. It’s happened at nap time and bedtime. What is the best way to respond to this behaviour? And how can we prevent it from happening, as it seems to be developing into a habit?

The good news is that this is pretty normal toddler behaviour.

“It is common for toddlers to exhibit behaviours that may seem challenging or unconventional as they navigate their development,” says Hendrix Hammond, systemic and family psychotherapist and spokesperson for the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP).

First of all, the parent might want to ask themselves why the toddler might be doing this. What’s the motivation here?

“Your toddler might be exploring boundaries. In this case, removing the nappy and urinating or defecating in the bed might be a form of experimentation or a way for your toddler to exert independence,” Hammond tells HuffPost UK.

“Furthermore, your toddler might recognise that this behaviour elicits a particular response from you as parents, which serves them an unconscious need.”

So, what can they do?

1. Reconsider their clothing choices

One relatively simple solution could be to try bed-wear that’s more difficult for the child to remove, such as onesies with poppers at the shoulders.

This can act as a deterrent and make it harder for them to access and remove their nappy.

2. Try positive reinforcement

When the toddler goes through a nap time or bedtime without removing their nappy, the therapist recommends parents acknowledge and praise their behaviour.

“Positive reinforcement can help motivate them to keep the nappy on,” he adds.

3. Get them to help with cleaning up

If the toddler does happen to wee or poo in their bed as a result of removing their nappy, the therapist suggests involving them in the cleanup process.

“This helps them understand the consequences of their actions and fosters a sense of responsibility,” he explains.

4. Stick to routines

Familiarity can help reduce anxiety and unpredictability, which may contribute to this type of behaviour, so the therapist recommends keeping bedtime routines consistent.

5. Communication

Sometimes it can help to simply sit down with a toddler and talk about their actions simply and clearly. “Explain that nappies must stay on during sleep and that accidents can create messes,” Hammond suggests.

6. Speak to a GP

If the parent tries all of the above strategies and the behaviour persists, Hammond advises them to speak to a GP, who can assess whether underlying physical or emotional factors might contribute to their toddler’s behaviour.

7. Be patient

Easier said than done, we know, but Hammond notes that “with a combination of understanding, consistent guidance, and potentially seeking professional advice, you can work towards helping your toddler develop healthy habits”.

Here’s to a drama-free bedtime.

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‘I Faced Judgy, Thoughtless Comments When Pregnant At 42, This One Stuck With Me To This Day’

When Lucy Baker was five months pregnant with her third child, a mum on the school playground exclaimed rather bluntly: “But you’re going to be 47 when the baby starts school!”

It wasn’t the first negative comment she’d faced since revealing she was pregnant at 42 – other “judgy, thoughtless comments” she’d been on the receiving end of included, “Why are you having another baby?” and “Was it a mistake?”

But the comment on the school playground really stuck with her.

At the time, she says she was “aghast”, but she later turned her negative experience into a positive, launching her blog the Geriatric Mum, which celebrates older mums.

“It’s been a real driver for me in some ways because I thought: you know what, I’ll bloody show you,” Baker, who lives in Lincolnshire and has three children aged 13, 10 and four, tells HuffPost UK.

Fast forward five years and Baker’s youngest child is set to start school in September.

To honour the occasion and “show the world how great being an older mummy can be,” the confidence coach plans to wear a gold, sparkly dress to drop him off on his first day.

The idea came about while she was doing a panel talk in London and was wearing the gold dress in question. “I talked about the Geriatric Mum story and the fact my son starts school in September,” she recalls.

“I said to the audience: ‘Actually I should do something big on the day, should I wear this gold dress?’ And the whole place cheered, so I thought: Well, I’ve committed to it now.”

Baker plans to wear the dress as a way of sticking two fingers up to society’s ageist views – which especially impact women.

“I want to do it as a celebration of geriatric mums – and for me and my little boy,” she says.

There is a deeper message she wants to convey by getting parents, particularly mothers – both on the playground, and reading this article – considering their actions towards others.

“As a geriatric mum, I’m trying to spread the message of: please don’t judge other women for their life circumstances, their choices, their situations because it’s really boring and actually hurts – these words stick,” she says, referring back to the comments she received during her pregnancy.

“I get messages on Instagram and women are feeling judged because of their age. It’s still happening and those labels are 100% out there.”

She adds: “I was really judged and nobody knows what I was feeling behind the scenes or what I’d been through to have my third child. Nobody knows what anyone else is going through.

“The journey to pregnancy is so unknown, but people are still judging other people for the age they have their children.

“I just want people to hold back on that judgement and pause for a minute and think: I don’t know that person’s story, so why am I judging them?”

But above all, she wants people to know she’s “loving being an older mum” – and endeavours to give other women who are striving to become mothers in their 40s hope.

“I’m in a great place in my life, I’m confident, I’m happy,” she says. “Motherhood is tricky whatever age – it’s really difficult, it can be very hard work, it changes your life. But I’m loving it – and I want the message to be: it can be glorious no matter how old you are.”

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19 Of The Most Ridiculous Requests Parents Sent To Teachers

On the first day of school, teachers often send a message to parents in the form of a letter or an email. They include things that students will need for the class, highlights of the year ahead, and how to contact them.

Email, mobile phones and a growing number of school communication apps means that it’s easier than ever before for parents to get in touch with teachers.

Questions, requests, complaints – veteran teachers have heard it all. But, sometimes, parents ask for things that are well outside of the realm of any teacher’s job description.

Jane Morris, a Maryland educator whose online presence is known as Teacher Misery, created a video a few years ago featuring fifth-grade teacher Deandre Rashard as he reacted to a series of actual requests from parents that are too wild and bizarre for anyone to have fabricated.

They included: “My son swallowed a watch battery at home. Please use this fork and clothes pin to inspect his poop until we find the battery.”

Others asked teachers to clean their child’s nose on picture day, track a student’s menstrual period and “mood changes,” and squeeze a student’s head during test-taking to relieve anxiety.

Perhaps most galling were requests in which the parents assumed they had greater pedagogical knowledge than the teacher, like the parent who requested that their son be given credit for an essay in spite of not turning one in because he “wrote it in his head.”

HuffPost asked teachers in our HuffPost Parents Facebook community to share their most memorable requests and complaints from parents. Here are some of their responses:

“One time I had a parent email me and ask if their student could take an upcoming math test on a different day because they had a golf tee time scheduled during the test. The student wasn’t on a golf team, nor were they a junior professional, they just wanted an afternoon of golf!”

— S., middle school math teacher in California

“I had a note from a parent to ‘excuse her son from activities if the weather was over 63°’ because he didn’t like to sweat. I also had a note from a dad who said ‘M is on her period today. She said she cannot do any running or physical activity. I told her it would be good for her. She screamed at me. Good luck.’”

— Alaina, middle school P.E. teacher in California

“Parent calls to inform me that their child swallowed a ring the night before and the doctor informed them that it was too far down to be of concern, however they needed to check the child’s bowel movements for the ring to make sure it passed through their system. I was asked to collect any poop and look at it to see if I could find the ring.

We were asked to wash, dry, and change socks of a student each time we came into the classroom because the ‘sand irritates’ her feet. They choose a school whose playground is 100% sand and we go outside four times a day.”

— Christine, pre-K through third grade teacher in New York

“I had a parent some years back who wanted me to chart every day if their child pooped. They also wanted me to keep track of what the child ate at lunch. Child was having digestive issues. Instead, we suggested that they ask child when they got home and they send lunch every day with directions to return all uneaten food for parents to see.”

— Mrs. K

“I once had a parent complain to admin that they liked last year’s teacher much better. I looped with them from 1st to 2nd ”

— Melissa Gartside, Connecticut

“Mom wanted to put on the IEP that me (special ed teacher) and the occupational therapist would go to their house and teach their very capable autistic 4th grader how to shower more independently. ”

— Jen Monahan, K-5 special education teacher

“I once had a parent accuse me of eating their kids lunch and claimed they had an audio recording of me doing it. ”

— Jenna Marie

“I had a father request a meeting with me and the principal. The father wanted his son moved to a seat by another pencil sharpener. (I had two very expensive electric pencil sharpeners in two different places in my room — that I bought with my own money). The son claimed that sharpener closer to his seat ate up his pencils. Truth was he wanted to move closer to his buddy who was right by the other sharpener. I was told to move the student where he wanted.”

— Sandi Parks

“Mom complained to my principal because she didn’t like my fun Friday bubblegum font. I had to change it ”

— Heidi Ramos

“Since my child sees a speech pathologist for the half hour after lunch, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t ‘teach anything new’ until he returns to the classroom.”

— Jennifer Kish Donoghue

“I teach kindergarten. I had a mom email me to tell me that she didn’t think her son was drinking enough water throughout the day. She asked me to check the toilet after he used the bathroom each time so I could monitor the color of his urine and report back to her.”

— Maressa Brooks Rousslange

“Mom sent in a bar of soap. The student, who was a large male, said I was to wash his mouth with soap if he used bad language.”

— Pamela Robison Duren, fourth-grade teacher in California

“When I taught middle school, parent wanted me to make a 60% a ‘B’ because maybe that’s the best the student could do. I had to break it to her that I didn’t create the grading scale.”

— Diane Runner

“Can you stand over him every class and make sure he does his assignment?”

— Maribeth Jones, high school French teacher

“I had a dad give his first grade son a laxative before school. He sent him with pull ups and wipes and asked if I could help clean him up after.”

— Ginger Martin-Foster

“I had a mother ask me to keep an eye on how much her son played a game on his phone and report back to her regularly because he was racking up crazy charges on in-app purchases — north of $400. As long as his phone wasn’t out during my class, it’s not my place to monitor an 18 year old’s device usage.”

— Jason D. Moore, high school graphic design teacher in New York

Responses have been lightly edited for length and clarity.

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How much do junior doctors really get paid in England?

The BBC asked two junior doctors in England to show us their payslips and reveal their salaries.

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We can’t take any more, says NHS as doctors strike

Junior doctors’ four-day walkout is getting under way in England on Friday as pay dispute continues.

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COVID-19 causes mitochondrial dysfunction in heart and other organs, researchers find

Since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic caused by the SARS-CoV-2 virus, researchers have been trying to determine why this virus creates such negative long-term effects compared with most coronaviruses. Now, a multi-institutional consortium of researchers led by a team at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP) and the COVID-19 International Research Team (COV-IRT) has found that the genes of the mitochondria, the energy producers of our cells, can be negatively impacted by the virus, leading to dysfunction in multiple organs beyond the lungs. These findings, published online today by the journal Science Translational Medicine, suggest new approaches for treating COVID-19.

Mitochondria are found in every cell in our bodies. The genes responsible for generating mitochondria are dispersed across both the nuclear DNA located in the nucleus of our cells and the mitochondrial DNA (mtDNA) located within each mitochondrion. Prior studies have shown that SARS-CoV-2 proteins can bind to mitochondrial proteins in host cells, potentially leading to mitochondrial dysfunction.

To understand how SARS-CoV-2 impacts mitochondria, researchers from the Center for Mitochondrial and Epigenomic Medicine (CMEM) at CHOP along with their COV-IRT colleagues wanted to analyze mitochondrial gene expression to detect differences caused by the virus. To do this, they analyzed a combination of nasopharyngeal and autopsy tissues from affected patients and animal models.

“The tissue samples from human patients allowed us to look at how mitochondrial gene expression was affected at the onset and end of disease progression, while animal models allowed us to fill in the blanks and look at the progression of gene expression differences over time,” said the study’s first author Joseph Guarnieri, PhD, a postdoctoral research fellow with the CMEM at CHOP.

The study found that in autopsy tissue, mitochondrial gene expression had recovered in the lungs, but mitochondrial function remained suppressed in the heart as well as the kidneys and liver. When studying animal models and measuring the time when the viral load was at its peak in the lungs, mitochondrial gene expression was suppressed in the cerebellum even though no SARS-CoV-2 was observed in the brain. Additional animal models revealed that during the mid-phase of SARS-CoV-2 infection, mitochondrial function in the lungs was beginning to recover.

Taken together, these results reveal that host cells respond to initial infection in a way that involves the lungs, but over time, mitochondrial function in the lungs is restored, while in other organs, particularly the heart, mitochondrial function remains impaired.

“This study provides us with strong evidence that we need to stop looking at COVID-19 as strictly an upper respiratory disease and start viewing it as a systemic disorder that impacts multiple organs,” said co-senior author Douglas C. Wallace, PhD, director of the CMEM at CHOP. “The continued dysfunction we observed in organs other than the lungs suggests that mitochondrial dysfunction could be causing long-term damage to the internal organs of these patients.”

While future studies using this data will study how systemic immune and inflammatory responses may be responsible for more severe disease in some patients, the research team did find a potential therapeutic target in microRNA 2392 (miR-2392), which was shown to regulate mitochondrial function in human tissue samples used in this study.

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“This microRNA was upregulated in the blood of patients infected by SARS-CoV-2, which is not something we normally would expect to see,” said co-senior author Afshin Beheshti, PhD, a biostatistician, a visiting researcher at The Broad Institute, and founder and President of COV-IRT. “Neutralizing this microRNA might be able to impede the replication of the virus, providing an additional therapeutic option for patients who are at risk for more serious complications related to the disease.”

Earlier this year, The Gates Foundation provided funding to Dr. Wallace and CMEM for research into how mtDNA variation among world populations might affect mitochondrial function and thus individual sensitivity to SARS-CoV-2. According to Wallace, the demonstration that SARS-CoV-2 markedly affects mitochondrial function supports the hypothesis that individual differences in mitochondrial function could be a factor in individual severity of COVID-19.

This work was also supported by the Division of Intramural Research, NIAID, NIH and, in part, by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation grant INV-046722.

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Mechanism underlying bacterial resistance to the antibiotic albicidin revealed

A new analysis shows that infectious bacteria exposed to the antibiotic albicidin rapidly develop up to a 1,000-fold increase in resistance via a gene amplification mechanism. Mareike Saathoff of Freie Universität Berlin, Germany, and colleagues present these findings August 10 in the open access journal PLOS Biology.

Bacterial resistance to antibiotics is a growing problem associated with millions of deaths around the world every year. Understanding how bacteria evolve resistance is key to developing more effective antibiotics and strategies for using them.

In recent years, albicidin has emerged as a promising antibiotic capable of killing a wide range of bacterial species by disrupting their DNA replication. Researchers are working to develop new albicidin-based medications; yet, despite its promise, some bacteria are able to develop resistance to albicidin.

To further investigate albicidin resistance mechanisms, Saathoff and colleagues conducted a suite of experiments employing a broad set of tools, including RNA sequencing, protein analysis, X-ray crystallography, and molecular modeling. They found that two bacteria often associated with human infection — Salmonella typhimurium and Escherichia coli — develop resistance to albicidin when exposed to increasingly higher concentrations of the compound. Their analysis narrowed down the source of this resistance to an increase in the number of copies of a gene known as STM3175 (YgiV) in the bacterial cells, which is amplified in each new generation of cells as they multiply. STM3175 encodes a protein that interacts with albicidin in such a way that protects the bacteria from it.

Further experiments showed that the same albicidin-resistance mechanism is widespread among both pathogenic and harmless bacteria, including the microbes Vibrio vulnificus, which can infect wounds, and Pseudomonas aeruginosa, which can cause pneumonia and other infections. These findings could help inform the ongoing development of albicidin-based antibiotic strategies.

The authors add, “Our study reveals a gene duplication and amplification-based mechanism of a transcriptional regulator in Gram-negative bacteria, that mediates resistance to the peptide antibiotic albicidin.”

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A climate-orchestrated early human love story

A new study published in the journal Science by an international team finds that past changes in atmospheric CO2 and corresponding shifts in climate and vegetation played a key role in determining when and where early human species interbred.

Modern-day people carry in their cells a small quantity of DNA deriving from other human species, namely the Neanderthals and the elusive Denisovans. Back in 2018, scientists announced to the world the discovery of an individual, later nicknamed Denny, who lived 90,000 years ago and who was identified as a daughter to a Denisovan father and a Neanderthal mother[Slon et al. 2018]. Denny, along with fellow mixed-ancestry individuals found at Denisova cave, testifies that interbreeding was probably common among hominins, and not limited to our own species Homo sapiens.

To unravel when and where human hybridization took place, scientists usually rely on paleo-genomic analysis of extremely rare fossil specimens and their even scarcer ancient DNA content. In the new Science paper, the team of climate experts and paleo-biologists from South Korea and Italy pursued a different approach. Using existing paleo-anthropological evidence, genetic data and supercomputer simulations of past climate, the team found that Neanderthals and Denisovans had different environmental preferences. More specifically, Denisovans were much more adapted to cold environments, characterized by boreal forests and even tundra, compared to their Neanderthal cousins who preferred temperate forests and grassland. “This means that their habitats of choice were separated geographically, with Neanderthals typically preferring southwestern Eurasia and Denisovans the northeast,” says Dr. Jiaoyang Ruan, postdoctoral researcher at the IBS Center for Climate Physics (ICCP), South Korea and lead author of the study.

However, according to their realistic computer simulations the scientists found that in warm interglacial periods, when Earth’s orbit around the Sun was more elliptic and northern hemisphere summer occurred closer to the Sun, the hominin habitats began to overlap geographically. “When Neanderthals and Denisovans shared a common habitat, there were more encounters and interactions among the groups, which would have increased the chance of interbreeding,” adds Prof. Axel Timmermann, corresponding author of the study and director of the ICCP and professor at Pusan National University.

The simulation of past habitat overlaps does not only put the first generation Neanderthal/Denisovan hybrid Denny into a climatic context, but it also agrees with other known episodes of interbreeding ~78, 120 thousand years ago. Future paleo-genetic reconstructions can be used to test the robustness of the new supercomputer model-based predictions of potential interbreeding intervals around 210 and 320 thousand years ago.

To further determine the climate drivers of the east-west interbreeding seesaw, the scientists looked more closely at how vegetation patterns changed over Eurasia during the past 400 thousand years. They discovered that elevated atmospheric CO2 concentrations and mild interglacial conditions caused an eastward expansion of temperate forest into central Eurasia which created dispersal corridors for Neanderthals into Denisovan lands. “It is as if glacial-interglacial shifts in climate created the stage for a unique and long-lasting human love story, whose genetic traces are still visible today,” comments Dr. Ruan.

One of the key challenges the researchers faced in their study was to estimate the preferred climatic conditions for Denisovans. “To deal with the very sparse Denisovan dataset, we had to devise new statistical tools, which could also account for known ancestral relationships amongst human species,” says Prof. Pasquale Raia from University of Naples, Federico II in Italy, co-author of the study. “This allowed us for the first time to estimate where Denisovans could have lived. To our surprise, we found that, apart from areas in Russia and China, also northern Europe would have been a suitable environment for them,” he adds.

Whether Denisovans ever lived west of the Altai mountains is unknown; but it can be tested using large-sample genetic analyses of Denisovan ancestry in European populations. Such analysis is expected to shed new light on the relationship between early dispersal, habitat encroachment and human genetic diversification.

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This TikTok Filter Haunted Our Summer. But It Got Queer Men To Talk About Aging.

All summer, people have been obsessing over the aging filter on TikTok, which is so spot on that some dermatologists have praised its accuracy. But queer men across the social media platform have been completely freaking out at the elder versions of themselves — and we need to talk about it.

Whether it’s gay men joking that they need to “drive off a cliff” or pointing out how much they “hate it here,” there seems to be a genuine animosity toward the aging filter. And although they’re mostly jokes, I can’t help but feel that these TikToks point to a deeper problem within our community: Many of us are extremely uncomfortable with the thought of getting older.

Of course, aging can be scary for anyone. But in the gay community specifically, youth tends to be such a high metric for self-worth that gay men often struggle with getting old, and derogatory terms like “sugar fossil” are common among older queer men.

There’s more to it than being less desirable, though; aging can also bring to mind how the AIDS crisis left us without so many of the people who would now be elder queers.

And the reality is that the messaging we all receive daily about gay men — from pop culture to Hollywood — doesn’t really prepare us to think about life beyond youth. It sometimes feels like there’s no road map for getting ready to live as older queer men. Our shortsightedness is evident in the spaces we’ve built for ourselves, especially considering that gay spaces tend to take the form of nightclubs and bars, which usually cater to younger people.

But if we’re lucky, we’re all going to get older, and it’s time we start to seriously address that stigma. When we’re no longer young and we need new kinds of physical and emotional support, some of us could end up in community centers where we might not feel comfortable being ourselves. In fact, a 2018 survey found that 34% of LGBTQ+ adults ages 45 and older were worried about having to hide their identities to access suitable housing. We should all be thinking about that a little bit more.

As queer men, it’s time to accept that we won’t always look young, and that our looks are not a direct reflection of our worth. This TikTok filter is, frankly, too harsh of a wake-up call — but if we need to laugh till we cry with some form of acceptance, I’m OK with that.

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What we know about the Covid variant EG.5 dubbed ‘Eris’

The World Health Organisation declared the variant of interest, with cases reported in 51 countries.

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