You Ask, Experts Answer: ‘My Husband Lent £7,500 To His Mother Without Telling Me’

In a recent Reddit post shared by Twigs-Rain, the Redditor explained that their “husband lent all of our money to his mother” without telling them recently.

They explained that they’d recently totalled their main car, and while their family had a backup vehicle, it wasn’t big enough for their kids and was often used by their husband for work.

So, they saved up enough for a new vehicle, but their bank didn’t let them withdraw as much as they needed in one day.

To solve the problem, the poster’s husband “transferred the money to his mother’s bank so she could get the money or a cashier’s check out for us.”

Unbeknownst to the poster, though, their mother-in-law needed that £7,500-odd to pay her employees (she’s a business owner).

Without the poster’s knowledge, their husband turned what was meant to be a transfer into a loan ― and started turning down every car the poster showed her, leaving her confused and without transport.

“The fact that they made the plan together, didn’t consult me, and then hid it from me for a week really pisses me off,” the author wrote.

“It’s now been 15 days, and she still hasn’t paid us back. He says she’s waiting for a bank loan to come through. I feel like at this point she’s more of his wife than I am.”

We spoke to relationship expert Sofie Roos and Leah Levi, a psychologist and relationships expert at the safety-first dating app Flure, about what to do if your spouse lends money without your permission or even knowledge.

This is called “financial infidelity”

Just as affairs can be emotional as well as physical, Levi told HuffPost UK that your partner can “betray” you with money too.

“This kind of secrecy about money is called financial infidelity,” she explained.

“Like emotional or sexual infidelity, financial infidelity can create distance between partners and weaken their connection. It can also cause one partner to feel left out and lead to doubts about honesty in other areas of the relationship.”

Roos says that “money is one of the most sensitive topics in a relationship”, adding that a financial misalignment “can really cause relationship problems.”

Money can be tied with respect, loyalty, priority, safety, and equity in your relationship.

So, Levi says, “If your partner is lending money to friends or family without telling you, it can feel like a betrayal and damage trust in your relationship.”

What can I do if the betrayal has already happened?

Both experts agree with Levi’s advice, to “talk about your financial expectations as a couple and set clear boundaries.”

This is a clear case of the husband overstepping what should have been an obvious “boundary”, however.

If this is the case, you need to let your partner know that what they did hurt you, Roos said.

“Then ask them what their thoughts are about this, let them explain why they did what they did and how they view it now when they know how it made you feel.”

“From there, you can come up with a plan for how to deal with money overall, but also on how to deal with situations like the one you just were in, something that can re-build your thrust and minimise the risk of something like this happening again.”

As with any other boundary, if your clearly-stated financial needs are being ignored over and over again, it might be time to reconsider the relationship.

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Oscars Host Claims Disney Gave ‘Hard Pass’ To 1 Goodie Bag Inclusion

Did you know the Oscars uses seat fillers to make the crowd seem full and busy on-air?

They’re not paid for the gig, have historically worn a badge that says they’re not a star, and usually have to be pretty well-connected to get the job.

But this year, host Conan O’Brien at least gave the event’s unrecognised cast members a snack box and a touching note, just as he did with the celebs.

In an X post, the editor-in-chief of Variety Ramin Setoodeh said: There’s a note from Conan under every #Oscars seat with a snack box of water and a pretzel.”

Conan O'Brien at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party
Conan O’Brien at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party

via Associated Press

In the note, the host claimed that he’d planned to include another item in the box ― but that it had been given a “hard pass” from Disney, who has the rights to air the show.

“Dear Star/Seat Filler, I hope you enjoy these complimentary snacks,” the note reads.

“I tried my best to include a gummy but Disney said that was a ‘hard pass’,” it continues.

That was presumably a cannabinoids-infused gummy ― they’re legal for over-21s in California, where the Oscars are held.

“Have a great night, Conan,” the note ended, along with a doodle of the host himself (the comedian is known by fans for his drawings).

Of course, it’s nowhere near as costly as this year’s Oscars goodie bag which went to all 25 top acting and directing nominees and included a five-night stay at a luxury resort and up to $1 million worth of emergency services to people affected by this year’s LA wildfires.

Still, people on X seemed touched by the gesture.

“This is so thoughtful,” one X user wrote. Others called Conan the “host of the decade.”

A commenter wanted to know what we were all wondering, too: “are [the notes] all the same copied and printed or did he handwrite them individually because he is both funny and genuine enough to do that?”

We reckon the reply to their question rings true though ― “I don’t think he’d have the time to handwrite hundreds of notes.”

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Autistic woman wrongly locked up in mental health hospital for 45 years

“Kasibba”, who is non-verbal and had no family to speak for her, was one of hundreds wrongly detained.

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Don’t let this stress you out

Having one traumatic experience is bad enough. If you’ve constantly experienced stress since before birth, you may be in for an especially tough time. Our emotions may be influenced by infections experienced in the mother’s womb. This can result from two-hit stress, where an infection during pregnancy is followed by social stress during postpartum development.

A team of researchers at Kyoto University recently set out to understand the mechanisms behind which two-hit stress contributes to brain dysfunction and mental disorders. They conducted a comprehensive investigation of the social and cognitive behaviors of mice that have been exposed to such stress, paying particular attention to anxiety-like behaviors.

Previously, this team demonstrated that acute inflammation in the cerebellum caused by a bacterial infection induces neural plasticity, which in turn may lead to hyper-excitability in the brain and the onset of depressive and autism-like symptoms. Yet exactly how two-hit stress contributes to changes in the brain had remained unclear.

Subject mice in the current investigation were allowed to freely explore, revealing extensive behavioral differences in two-hit mice, correlating with abnormalities in the cerebellum. In particular, the researchers observed a significant increase in the number and turnover of microglia, the primary immune cells found in the central nervous system. The study also revealed neuronal loss in the cerebellum, a reduction in the action potential firing of remaining cerebellar neurons, and a decrease in brain-wide functional connectivity.

“These results indicate cerebellar cognitive dysfunctions in animals exposed to two-hit stress,” says team member Momoka Hikosaka. The exposure to such stress altered the microglial reactivity in the cerebella of both male and female mice, leading to cerebellar dysfunction and behaviors resembling psychiatric disorders.

But it’s not all bad news. To rescue the exposed mice, the researchers used microglia replacement to ameliorate the effects of two-hit stress. Suppressing microglia can also be effective, but systemic depletion of microglia typically weakens immunity, making the body more susceptible to infections.

“To address this limitation, our team performed cerebellum-specific microglia replacement, which worked remarkably well,” says corresponding author Gen Ohtsuki, adding, “We were impressed to observe that the female mice showed notably higher stress resilience.”

This suggests that in some animals, sex differences in response to chronic inflammatory stress emerge in the cerebellum under certain conditions. Consequently, personalized medicine for mental health may require considering sex differences as an important factor, which could also be applied to neurodegenerative diseases and aging treatment.

Overall, these findings provide new pathways for understanding the biological mechanisms behind mental disorders, and have the potential to transform both scientific approaches and societal attitudes toward helping those affected.

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Lack of medical oxygen affects millions

Six out of every ten people globally lack access to safe medical oxygen, resulting in hundreds of thousands of preventable deaths each year and reducing quality of life for millions more, an international report co-authored by the University of Auckland has found.

Associate Professor Stephen Howie from the University’s Faculty of Medical and Health Sciences (FMHS) was an adviser to the Lancet Global Health Commission on Medical Oxygen Security and co-author of its report Reducing global inequities in medical oxygen access released 18 February.

A key finding shows global access to medical oxygen is highly inequitable. Five billion people, mostly from low and middle-income countries don’t have access to safe, quality, affordable medical oxygen.

Associate Professor Howie, child health researcher and a specialist paediatrician says he hopes further lives will be saved because of this work, and that children and adults will not only survive but thrive.

The Auckland University team are leading the field to improve access to medical oxygen. Howie recently gave a plenary address at the World Lung Health Conference in Bali, spelling out the challenges and opportunities to tackle the global issue.

“I have been working in the area of oxygen treatment for oxygen-starved (hypoxic) illnesses for two decades, particularly in Africa and the Pacific. My first priority was children (naturally, as a paediatrician) but we learnt soon enough that solving the problem has to involve catering for all ages.

“It is such an obvious need. I saw it at the hospitals I worked at in Africa where needless death from diseases like pneumonia happened because oxygen supplies were short, and this hit families and staff very hard. It was at that time that we made it our goal that ‘no child should die for lack of oxygen’ and this applies to adults too.”

Fiji was particularly hard hit when the first waves of the COVID-19 pandemic arrived, at one point it had the highest rate of COVID-19 in the world. A close partnership between the Fiji Ministry of Health, the University of Auckland, Cure Kids and Fiji National University, funded by New Zealand MFAT and other donors, played an important role in supporting the pandemic response says Howie.

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Who gets the lion’s share? Ecologists highlight disparities in global biodiversity conservation funding

The extensive loss of biodiversity represents one of the major crises of our time, threatening not only entire ecosystems but also our current and future livelihoods. As scientists realise the magnitude and scale of ongoing extinctions, it is vital to ascertain the resources available for conservation and whether funds are being effectively distributed to protect species most in need.

A team of researchers from the School of Biological Sciences, The University of Hong Kong (HKU), addressed these questions in a recent paper in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS), USA, by compiling information on nearly 15,000 funded projects focused on species conservation. Professor Benoit GUÉNARD, the lead author of the study, noted that, “Our first conclusion is that funding for species conservation research remains extremely limited with only US$ 1.93 billion allocated over 25 years in the projects we assessed.”

The international conservation funding from 37 governments and NGOs represented a mere 0.3% and 0.01% of the annual budget of the NASA or US military, respectively. This stark comparison underscores the urgent need to dramatically increase such funding to slow global biodiversity loss.

The authors also examined the allocation of this funding to specific species or groups of organisms based on their conservation needs as assessed by the International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN) Red List, often called the ‘barometer of life’. Professor Guénard explains, “Based on previous literature-based studies, we expected biases towards vertebrates and, whilst this was true, we found the situation much worse than previously estimated. Even within vertebrates, many of the most threatened groups, like amphibians, were largely underfunded with declining funding trends over time.”

Another striking example can be found in reptiles, particularly lizards and snakes, where over a thousand species have been identified as threatened, yet 87% of the funding towards reptile conservation is directed towards the seven species of marine turtles. Professor Guénard states, “This highlights an important mismatch between scientific assessment of conservation and allocation of funding by conservation stakeholders, which appears to rely on the ‘charisma’ of species. This leads to nearly a third of the funding directed to non-threatened species while almost 94% of threatened species have not received any support.”

Some groups, like plants or insects, received a mere 6% each of the funding despite their vast diversity and the number of threatened species they include, while other major groups, such as fungi or algae, received virtually no funding.

Professor Alice HUGHES, a co-author of the study, echoed, “Our traditional view of what is threatened often does not align with species genuinely at threat, leaving many smaller, or ‘less charismatic’ species neglected. We urgently need to reframe this perspective and better allocate funding across taxa if we want any hope of redressing widespread population declines and the continued loss of biodiversity.”

Based on these findings, the researchers are calling for a new approach to conservation funding. Whilst species conservation is in dire need of additional funding, a more rigorous approach to selecting projects and species to receive those limited funds is urgently needed. Professor Guénard emphasises, “Conservation agencies and NGOs need to modify their philosophy towards conservation to protect all species, and not just a subset based on subjective criteria of charisma or beauty.”

In the future, the research team hopes their database can be expanded so information on funding allocation is more transparent and easily accessible. This would help evaluate existing gaps, plan effective future conservation efforts at a global scale, and reduce redundancy in funding for species that already receive the lion’s share of support.

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‘He was born navy blue’: Real-life stories behind Toxic Town Netflix series

The drama tells the story of how families fought for justice over their children’s birth defects.

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Over 50% of adults worldwide predicted to be obese or overweight by 2050

Levels look set to accelerate rapidly, particularly in lower-income countries.

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Over 50% of adults predicted to be obese by 2050

Levels look set to accelerate rapidly, particularly in lower-income countries.

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I’m A Travel Expert – Hearing This Code On A Plane Can Mean A Tragedy Has Occurred

Did you know that airline staff aren’t just being friendly when they greet you onto the plane?

Yup ― according to flight attendant Kat Kamalani, “when you’re walking on the aeroplane and you see our happy smiley face[s], we’re actually looking you up and down, and we are trying to find our ABPs”.

ABPs stands for “able-bodied passengers” – or people who can help in an emergency.

And now, travel experts from Wander have told us: “While most flights go smoothly, flight crews use a secret language to discreetly communicate situations ranging from lighthearted quirks to serious, even life-or-death emergencies – often without passengers ever noticing.”

Code 300 or ‘Angel’ spells tragedy, according to experts

“If you hear ‘Code 300’ or ‘Angel’ on a flight, it could mean someone has died onboard,” the experts at Wander said.

“These discreet codes allow the crew to handle the situation without alarming other passengers or drawing attention to the tragic event,” they claimed.

The International Air Transport Association (IATA) has a set of rules airlines are encouraged to follow when a passenger dies.

Staff are advised to move the deceased to a seat, ideally one with few passengers near it. Some companies place them in a zipped body bag.

They have to notify the destination airport ASAP so the appropriate services are present when they land.

“Take extra care when moving the person and be aware of the difficulty of the situation for companions and onlookers,” the IATA continues.

Other passengers are let off the plane first, while the dead passenger and any family accompanying them stay on board “until the proper local authority has arrived to take care of the body”.

Are there any other codes?

According to Wander, yes.

They say that a “code yellow” refers to “a minor medical situation” such as a passenger feeling lightheaded or nauseous.

“While not an emergency, this term lets crew members discreetly monitor the situation and prepare any necessary assistance,” they explained.

And airline staff referring to a person as a “mermaid” is a
“playful yet passive-aggressive nickname for a passenger who deliberately sprawls out across empty seats to deter others from sitting in their row,” they added.

The more you know…

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