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People Who Have Good Relationships With Their Parents Seem To Have This In Common

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A few summers ago I was on vacation with my children in Minnesota. It was early evening, and I needed a way to occupy them for a couple of hours in order to make it to the end of what felt like a very long day. I was tired, and my fuse was short. I had them put on their bathing suits, and we piled into the car, heading to what someone had recommended as a perfect swimming spot in one of the 10,000 lakes surrounding us. In the wilderness, my GPS was less than helpful. I turned down one gravelly dirt road after another, finding private homes and campsites but no public lake access. My frustration grew. I muttered under my breath and swore out loud.

Turning the car around, yet again, I opened my mouth to make another angry sound — but then I caught my kids’ eyes in the rearview mirror. There was fear in them. They were visibly worried that if we didn’t find this lake, I was going to — well, I don’t know what they thought I would do, but it was definitely something scary.

I was at a total loss, and I gripped the sides of the wheel and said, “I’m going to blow!” Then I shook my head around wildly and yelled “Ahhhhh!” on and on, turning it into a sort of rage-y yodel. Think Animal from the Muppets. My kids fell silent. Their eyes grew wide with surprise, mouths dangling open — then my son’s lips shifted into a smile. He started laughing, with his little sister immediately following suit. Soon, they were cracking up.

When I ran out of air to continue my performance, they shouted, “Again! Again!”

All I had to do to defuse a tense situation was turn myself into a loony, pre-verbal puppet.

The Muppets Studio via Getty Images

All I had to do to defuse a tense situation was turn myself into a loony, pre-verbal puppet.

I wasn’t quite sure what I’d done, but was relieved that I’d managed to make it through the moment without turning into the bad guy.

Humour can be an effective way to defuse a tense situation, of which parenting offers plenty. Yet for all the talk of parenting styles, strategies, tools, tips and hacks, humour is something that seldom gets discussed beyond a comment here or there about “dad jokes.”

But a new, preliminary study about the use of humour in parenting shows that most of us view humour as a valuable parenting tool. Not only that, but researchers found a correlation between parents’ use of humour and the quality of their relationships with their children.

In a survey of 312 respondents, ages 18-45, more than half (55.2%) said that the people who raised them used humour in their parenting. A majority (71.8%) agreed that humour can be an effective parenting tool, that it has more potential for benefit than harm (63.3%) and that they plan to (or do) use it with their own children (61.8%). These responses didn’t differ significantly when compared by age or gender.

Dr. Benjamin Levi, a professor at Penn State and one of the study’s authors, told HuffPost that these findings were interesting, although perhaps not that surprising. After all, most people view humour in a positive light.

What was unexpected, Levi said, was the correlation the study found between parents’ use of humour and the way their (now adult) children viewed both the way they were parented and their relationship with their parents.

“People who said that their parents used humour, those folks were much more likely to report that they had a good relationship with their parents, and that they thought that their parents did a good job,” he said.

“Not surprisingly,” he continued, those same people were more likely “to say that they would use the same kinds of techniques” with their own children.

The numbers are startling. Among respondents who reported that their parents used humour, 50.5% said they had a good relationship with their parents. Among respondents who said their parents did not use humour, however, only 2.9% reported a good relationship with their parents. Among respondents who said their parents used humour, 44.2% reported that they felt their parents did a good job parenting them. Among those who said their parents did not use humour, however, the number who thought their parents did a good job dropped to 3.6%.

Levi is quick to note that this is only a preliminary study. The intriguing numbers call for further investigation, and Levi says a larger, more comprehensive study is already in the works.

It’s unclear what, exactly, the connection is between humour and effective parenting. “My guess is that it’s something that was modelled for them, where they tried and they saw that it worked,” Levi said of the majority of survey respondents who viewed humour positively.

He also mentioned that a parent can use humour in an unexpected way in order to break the tension, like I managed to do with my Animal impression in the car. He recalled the story of a dad who, when his daughters were fighting, would grab one in each arm and jump, all of them fully-clothed, into the pool. Wild? Yes. Wet? Absurdly. But also, effective.

In terms of strengthening people’s relationships with their kids, he said, “It could be the case that the people who use humour are a particular kind of person, right? And they may parent differently entirely apart from the humour.”

But there’s also the particular value of a well-timed joke.

“My guess is that [humour] opens up new patterns for communication and interaction, because it changes dynamics that may fall into patterns or ruts,” Levi said. “It’s sort of an invitation to be creative and imaginative.”

Here at HuffPost, we know that parents often lean on their funny bones in order to get through the tough moments, as evidenced by readers’ enthusiasm for our regular round-ups of funny parenting tweets. We asked some of the parents whose tweets frequently appear in these collections their thoughts on the relationship between humour and parenting.

Humour can cut the tension.

Meg St-Esprit is mom to a 12-year-old, twin 10-year-olds and an almost 6-year old. “Parenting and family life are hard, especially in a big family with a lot of different needs, preferences, and ways of viewing the world,” she said. “Humour can be a tool to defuse some of those places where we chafe against one another, or help us look at a situation less seriously when we are worked up.”

Rodney Lacroix, whose kids are 23, 21, 19 and 15, said, “I’ve always shown my kids that there is always a lighter side to things, and that humour can come from the most unlikely places — even in failure or times of despair.”

“Like when we are out of pizza rolls,” he added.

But, it should be used cautiously.

Humour, St-Esprit noted, is “tricky to do well.”

“Most young kids and even some teens don’t truly understand sarcasm, even if they sometimes appear to. They may laugh but wonder internally if it’s true, so we do try to be careful not to cross a line between light humour and trolling our kids or one another,” she said.

“I do think there is a difference between using humour with our kids and making fun of them,” she continued. “Humour within families should build one another up, not tear anyone down. Like anything, it’s a tool that can be used well or used to cause harm.”

Humour can add to the enjoyment of authentic, real-life interactions.

While plenty of us go looking for humour online, there’s a special value to sharing laughter together in person.

“In today’s world where their screens define what the kids see and the humour online is so different and forced for likes, being around a family that is able to go through the emotions and laugh together at situations goes a long way,” said Vinod Chhaproo, a parent to two daughters ages 11 and 9.

Humour can soften the delivery of directives.

“I told my girls that the way they brush their teeth, they’ll never see a cavity on their bathroom sink,” said Chhaproo. “They laughed and got the message. Telling them that their winter jackets have been ordered and shipped to the school’s lost and found directly made them roll their eyes,” he said, noting that “they’ve not lost many jackets since.”

Humour can help us take ourselves less seriously.

“I use humour at every opportunity, if I burn the pancakes or add salt to my coffee, or google up the answers to 5th grade math homework,” Chhaproo added. “My girls have also learnt to laugh at themselves, take jokes and react positively to the mistakes and not be beaten down by them.”

Shane B., a father of three who tweets as Dadman Walking, said, “I think it helps show them you don’t have to be so serious all the time.”

“You can take a crappy situation and be able to handle it better. I make jokes on things too when I’m uncomfortable … I think less emotions are buried because of it.”

Without laughter, he said, “life is scary nonstop. Especially to kids.”

“I love making people laugh, and it’s an even greater feeling getting my kids laughing. Especially when they’re crying over physical or emotional pain. Laughter helps heal the heart,” he added.

Humour can help forge bonds in relationships.

Shane B. said his kids “constantly come to me to tell me anything funny that happened in their day.”

“Laughter brings a special connection and opens up the door for that conversation to sometimes end up with a lot of meaning,” he continued.

Lacroix noted that it’s important to take advantages of opportunities to share laughter when kids are little, as they may become less frequent as they grow up.

“I find I am becoming more serious in my parenting. My kids are still funny, but now the conversations are about jobs, school and life. Try to keep it light when you can. Make light of serious situations — treading carefully — to get them to see that, even though life is a giant bucket of suck, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel if you can crack a smile about it,” he said.

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9 Things Eye Doctors Say You Should Never, Ever Do

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Eye health is an easy area to overlook for many people ― that is, until a problem arises.

Visual decline, infection, injury and other ocular issues are fairly common, especially as we age. And although there are many treatments and even surgeries to fix our eye health woes, it would be nice to avoid reaching this point.

The good news is there are many ways to help prevent infection and damage to keep our eyes healthy as we age.

HuffPost asked eye doctors to share the things they never do in the interest of their ocular health. Read on for the behaviours they avoid.

They don’t sleep in contact lenses.

“I never sleep in my contact lenses unless the contact lenses have FDA approval for extended wear because of the risk of painful eye infections and cornea damage,” said Dr. William McLaughlin, an optometrist at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center.

Occasionally, people who wear contacts might get exhausted or have a few too many drinks and pass out before they’ve had a chance to remove their lenses, or they might need to take a midday nap or find themselves dozing on a plane. But it’s really important to try to remember to take out your contacts in these situations.

“Sleeping in contacts allows for microbes and bacteria from the contact lens to multiply overnight,” said Dr. Ella Faktorovich, an eye doctor and founder of Pacific Vision Institute. “This can lead to further complications, such as a corneal ulcer, which can be vision-threatening and lead to the need for a corneal transplant.”

They don’t stare closely at a screen for too long without breaks.

“When people look at a phone, laptop, or book too closely for an extended period, it can increase the risk of myopia in young people and cause eyestrain for people of all ages,” Faktorovich said. “Myopia typically develops in childhood and then deteriorates until the late teenage years.”

She recommended following the “20-20-20 Rule” for preventing and relieving digital eye strain. The method involves taking a 20-second break every 20 minutes to look at something 20 feet away. Easing your eye strain can improve your overall eye health as you age.

“As people age, they will experience presbyopia, leading to the potential need for procedures like Monovision LASIK or PRK, where one eye is corrected for distance vision while the other is left mildly nearsighted or uncorrected,” Faktorovich added. “Other procedures to help presbyopia may be lens replacement surgery.”

They don’t put off eye exams.

“I never forget to have my eyes examined at least every year to year and a half,” McLaughlin said.

It’s particularly important to keep up with your regular appointments, including dilated eye exams, if you have a condition that puts your eye health at risk.

“Those diagnosed with diabetes are at increased risk of developing retinopathy,” noted Dr. Barbara Mihalik, an optometrist at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center. “This starts as bleeding within the retina and can progress to swelling within the retina, cataracts, glaucoma, and development of new leaky blood vessels that can cause sudden loss of vision and lead to retinal detachment which can cause permanent vision loss. Often those affected do not have any visual problems so it’s important to get dilated at least once a year to monitor for this since there are treatments to prevent this vision loss.”

They don’t ignore a sudden vision change.

“I would never ignore a sudden onset of a shower of floaters ― spots in the vision ― and flashing lights, especially if accompanied by a curtain crossing the vision,” Mihalik said. “All of these can be a warning sign of a retinal tear, break or hole that can lead to a retinal detachment.”

If caught early, this problem can be treated before the retina detaches, she added.

“If the retina does detach, it then requires surgical treatment and the level of vision that can be restored depends on how much and for how long the retina was detached,” Mihalik explained. “If you ever do develop new onset floaters and flashing lights, call your eye care provider right away.”

It's important to reach out to an eye doctor ASAP if you notice any sudden vision changes or other eye problems.

LaylaBird via Getty Images

It’s important to reach out to an eye doctor ASAP if you notice any sudden vision changes or other eye problems.

They don’t leave makeup on overnight.

“Under-lubricating the eyes is an often overlooked part of symptomatic eye issues, especially in people who use contact lenses or makeup,” said Dr. Avnish Deobhakta, an ophthalmologist at the New York Eye and Ear Infirmary of Mount Sinai. “A major change that occurs as we age is that we do not make adequate quality tears ― this is particularly problematic for people who use contact lenses, which are placed directly on the surface of cornea, or certain forms of makeup on the eyelids, which often disrupt tear production.”

He noted that the cornea requires constant lubrication to function effectively, and both the aging process and use of contact lenses and makeup can reduce the body’s natural lubrication ability. In addition to avoiding sleeping in contacts, he urged makeup-wearers to thoroughly wash it off before going to bed. Failing to remove your makeup can lead to eye infections and adversely impact your eye lubrication.

“One way to help deal with [under-lubrication] is to use preservative free artificial tears as a matter of routine,” Avnish added. “These artificial tears are made with substances that help lubricate the surface of the eye. However, importantly, they do not have preservatives, which can sometimes cause side effects. We often advocate using them three to four times a day.”

They don’t stare at the sun.

“People should never look directly at the sun,” Faktorovich said. “Earlier this year, we witnessed a solar eclipse where many people were tempted to look at the sun through regular sunglasses or homemade sunglasses, which can be extremely detrimental to the eye. Staring directly at the sun without the right eye protection for even a short time can permanently damage your retina, the layer of tissue in the back of your eye that converts light to electrical signals for the brain.”

In the event of a solar eclipse, she recommended using the proper protection to avoid retinal burn and other serious eye damage.

They don’t smoke or vape.

“Smoking and vaping are some of the worst activities that one can do for both one’s general health, especially for the eyes,” Deobhakta said. “There are very severe diseases that destroy the parts of the eye that are irreplaceable, such as the retina, which occur much more often in people who smoke.”

He noted that smoking is also associated with increased rates of cataract formation, which leads to a clouding of the lens and often requires surgery to remove.

“In addition, the fumes themselves can cause damage to the surface of the eye, causing corneal abrasions and extremely painful dry eye, often requiring lifelong treatment to address,” Deobhakta said. “In other words, avoid smoking and vaping if you want a lifetime of healthy eyes.”

They don’t rinse contact lenses in tap water.

Mihalik noted that she would never use tap water to rinse contact lenses.

“There is a high risk of developing microbial keratitis, otherwise known as a corneal ulcer, that can lead to permanent blindness and in some cases corneal transplant,” she noted. “Instead, always rinse and store in contact lens solution, replace your case regularly, and replace lenses as directed by your eye care provider.”

In addition to storing and lubricating your contact lenses improperly, using the same pair for longer than recommended can lead to eye health issues.

“I never forget to discard my contact lenses in the prescribed time period,” McLaughlin said.

They don’t eat an unbalanced diet.

“Eating a diet high in sugar and fat may go without saying as being bad for one’s health, but it also has a disproportionately negative effect on the eyes,” Deobhakta said. “Certain diseases like diabetes are responsible for the most common forms of irreversible blindness that we see in our clinics, and that is often linked to eating an unbalanced diet high in carbohydrates and fat.”

He noted that the risk of experiencing a stroke in the eye is higher for those with uncontrolled high blood pressure.

“Some good news however ― eating a balanced diet (with exercise) not only helps other parts of the body, but drastically reduces the chances of these kinds of diseases occurring,” Deobhakta said. “So our advice is to eat a Mediterranean Diet, low in sugar and fat, and do something physical you enjoy, like running or biking or taking a walk.”

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Is It Healthy To Eat The Same Thing Every Day? Even If It’s Nutritious?

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Sometimes, eating the same thing every day, especially if it’s nutritious, seems like a good idea. Having something like egg whites, yogurt and toast for breakfast, and chicken, broccoli and rice for dinner helps with meal preparation and simplifies one’s life.

It can also aid in maintaining energy levels. For example, an athlete friend of mine eats the same thing every day at the exact same time (3:30 p.m.) to “secure his energy levels.” Two hours before his workout, he eats chicken, rice and rice cakes. Eating the same thing guarantees his energy, and eating two hours before working out allows him to digest the food. He also typically eats the same food for breakfast every day.

But getting stuck in a steadfast routine can have some drawbacks. Is this type of eating regimen healthy enough?

There’s a fine line to be aware of.

While it can be common to eat the same foods every day, there can be a point when it turns into something of more concern. Katherine Metzelaar, a Seattle-based dietitian and certified intuitive eating counsellor, explained if someone’s eating the same foods every day, they might have an eating disorder called avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder, or ARFID.

“My first thought is, ‘Why is someone doing that?’” Austin-based dietitian, nutrition therapist, and body image healer Emily Van Eck told HuffPost. “If someone is doing that, I would wonder why, because they could be overly fixating on something.”

Even if someone is neurodivergent and needs to eat the same foods all the time, Metzelaar encourages variety. Plus, consuming the same foods every day could lead to nutrient deficiencies and poor gut health. Metzelaar said that could include bloating and constipation.

“Humans don’t benefit from having the same exact thing every single day,” she said. “Human bodies really benefit from having a variety of different kinds of foods throughout the day, throughout the week, over time.”

Variety is generally best.

Van Eck also said choosing an assortment of foods works best. “I think a variety is best, as in trying to eat different types of grains, different types of vegetables, and different types of protein over the course of a month,” Van Eck said. “I don’t think we need to micromanage the variety of our diet but generally change it up. That also helps with enjoyment and satisfaction. You will get bored eating the same thing every day. It’s beneficial to practice variety because that way when you get sick of something, you have other things you know you like.”

She suggests eating vegetables because they contain valuable fibre, vitamins, phytonutrients and antioxidants, which lower cholesterol and blood pressure and help in disease prevention.

“If your everyday meal includes a lot of variety, just in that one day you’re going to be getting a lot more nutrients than if you’re just eating egg and toast for breakfast, a turkey sandwich, and beef and rice for dinner,” Van Eck said. “You’re not going to be getting lots of vitamins and minerals, so it really depends on what you’re eating.”

Meal prepping something healthy for a week is fine, just as long as it's not the same exact food every week.

Westend61 via Getty Images

Meal prepping something healthy for a week is fine, just as long as it’s not the same exact food every week.

However, according to Van Eck, it’s OK to meal prep a batch of chicken and rice and broccoli for a week as long as you switch it up the following week or so. “That’s a good way to streamline,” she said.

Long term, not eating a well-balanced diet can affect a person’s mental wellness and social life.

Limiting one’s food options “can increase anxiety around food,” Metzelaar said. “Food is such a pleasurable, joyful part of life, so it can impact people’s mental health as well. We gather with food. We celebrate with food.”

Another concern about eating the same thing is that it can result in intense cravings, or a fixation on the foods you aren’t eating. Metzelaar cited fitness competitors who go on strict diets, saying, “They start to notice cravings for other foods and that can show up in all kinds of ways like in sweets or certain dishes, and a lot of food taking up a lot of headspace for them, dreaming about food, waking up in the middle of the night craving food.”

The bottom line is, eating a mixture of foods and obtaining enough nutrients every day is ideal for a healthy lifestyle.

“Not overthinking our food choices is important, and over-stressing about food doesn’t necessarily do any good,” Van Eck said. “We don’t need to be perfect eaters. If you want to improve your diet, if you’re looking at the things you’re eating and you’re like, ‘Man, I’m not really getting any vegetables,’ or ‘I am not getting enough protein,’ or ‘My blood sugar is kind of out of whack’ or whatever, you can take small steps to improve that. But overhauling everything in your diet is never the answer.”

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The 6 Most Common Issues Introverts Bring Up In Therapy

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As someone who spends a lot of time alone, I’d call myself an introvert. Not only do I enjoy my own company, but also I need that time alone to recharge myself even if it was just from a tiny social interaction. However, on the other hand, extroverts get energised by being around people and receiving lots of stimulation.

With that said, sometimes society isn’t made to fit the needs of introverts, and it can be difficult to socialise and communicate. That’s where therapy comes in handy: It can help you navigate these situations and assist you in exploring your own inner life, making you more comfortable with your quieter nature and your needs that come with it.

Below, we asked therapists to share the most common topics introverts frequently bring up in therapy and why they usually come up. If you relate, you’re not alone.

Finding space to recharge their social battery

Everyone needs a bit of alone time every now and then. However, some need it more than others ― and it can be hard to achieve that when loved ones may not understand how important it is or if you don’t have the physical space to just be isolated.

“Many introverts may feel drained after socialising with friends, and it’s important for them to create space to recharge. This can be difficult if they live with a partner or roommate,” said Kristen Casey, a telehealth clinical psychologist and insomnia specialist. “In therapy, we usually discuss how to communicate their needs effectively to ensure their friends or family understand that the creation of space from others is not personal.”

Kristen Gingrich, a therapist and certified alcohol and drug counsellor, said that she usually tells her clients to go into a bathroom for five to seven minutes to ground themselves and recoup since it’s the place where you’re least likely to be bothered.

Setting boundaries with friends and loved ones

Many people find it difficult to set boundaries, but it can be even harder for introverts to speak up for themselves and communicate their needs.

“A lot of times, introverts talk about how they struggle to set boundaries because it can require more extroverted energy than they are comfortable with,” Gingrich said.

She added that when an introverted client is struggling with this, they may discuss ways to set boundaries that are clear and to the point, as sometimes it can be easy to get caught up in the discussion aspect as opposed to actually setting them.

Additionally, coping skills and distress tolerance skills are usually talked about because uncomfortable feelings and emotions will likely arise when setting boundaries, and it’s important for clients to know how to manage those in a healthy way when they come up.

Managing communication with friends

This isn’t a topic only introverts bring up in therapy, but it comes up often because it can be overwhelming to respond to texts and calls sometimes when your social battery is running low.

“The concept of answering phone calls or text messages may feel overwhelming for some introverts, and they may struggle with coaching their loved ones on their preferences for communication,” Casey said.

In these instances, the client might raise concerns around friends and family members taking their delay in response personally or viewing it as a sign that they don’t value the relationship, as opposed to it simply being a result of their needs.

“In therapy, we explore ways to coach friends and family on their preferences or how to answer briefly to maintain the relationship,” Casey said.

Setting boundaries and communicating with loved ones is important for introverts to maintain their alone time.

via Getty Images

Setting boundaries and communicating with loved ones is important for introverts to maintain their alone time.

Managing overstimulation and irritability

After a while of socialising in a group setting, introverts will need that alone time to recharge their battery. When they can’t get that or have trouble communicating that need, it can sometimes lead to irritability ― a topic that introverts tend to bring up in therapy as they are looking for better ways to manage it.

“This is a thing I see with introverts and that is when they are overstimulated or their social battery runs empty, that they either shut down or it turns into irritability, which is really common,” Gingrich said.

In session, the therapist and client will together to discuss and build mindfulness skills and coping techniques to help prepare them for situations when they are highly irritable or overstimulated.

“We also talk about how to take accountability for the times where their irritability may get the best of them and come out towards other people,” Gingrich said.

Although it may be difficult, it’s important to take accountability and move forward in a more healthy and productive manner.

Wanting to find a romantic relationship

Dating is hard for just about anybody ― this includes introverts, who get easily drained by social interactions. Going on many dates can feel overwhelming for an introvert who needs frequent alone time to recharge.

“Clients often bring this up often because the idea of internet dating seems daunting with meeting lots of people and going out on different occasions,” said Heather Kent, a registered psychotherapist and trauma recovery specialist in Canada.

It’s not that introverts don’t want romantic relationships, but it can be hard to find the balance necessary to suit the needs of both people.

Dealing with societal pressure

Society places a lot of pressure on people to maintain the status quo in just about everything. However, introverts tend to find this hard when the extroverted personality is the default.

“Introverts often bring up how they worry about how others feel about them and that they feel a constant societal pressure to be involved in activities and engaged with friends,” Casey said. “They may also sometimes think that something is wrong with them, or that they aren’t living up to societal standards because of this.”

During sessions, she works with her clients to explore the need to adjust their own expectations with societal standards to ensure they feel seen and heard and live a life of their choosing. It’s more advantageous than trying to be someone you’re not.

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Let’s Settle This – Who Gets To Use The Aeroplane Armrests?

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Is it rude to recline your seat? What’s the best way to ask a fellow passenger to switch spots? What about taking your shoes off during a flight?

There are seemingly endless etiquette considerations in the world of commercial air travel. Although some rules and norms are obvious (no, you should not snack on your smelly canned tuna mid-flight), others remain less well understood. For instance, who is entitled to use the armrests between seats?

To answer this question, we asked experts to weigh in on the etiquette for airplane armrests and the best practices for sharing them.

What are the etiquette rules for shared armrests?

“For a row with two seats, the middle armrest is shared,” said Jodi R.R. Smith, the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. “For a row with three seats, both middle armrests are for the person in the middle. The window traveler has the wall and the aisle traveler has the space of the aisle.”

For a row with four seats, she noted that the armrest between the two middle seats is shared and that the two middle-seat passengers also have ownership of the armrest between their seats and the passengers on either end.

Other etiquette experts have slightly different takes on the topic.

“When it comes to armrests, the middle seat generally has their choice but should only use one armrest or the other,” Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and corporate trainer specialising in adult behaviour, told HuffPost.

Meanwhile, the Emily Post Institute’s website notes, “The middle seat arm rests are shared property. That said, it’s generous for the aisle and window seat holders to give the middle passenger a chance to claim them first.”

Consider taking turns or sharing middle armrests when possible as well. This is also the proper approach for a two-seat row in which each passenger has one personal armrest and one shared between them.

“It is proper etiquette for the passenger sitting at the window to use the arm rest near the window as often as they like,” said Jackie Vernon-Thompson, the founder of From the Inside-Out School of Etiquette. “The passenger sitting in the aisle seat has full access to the armrest near the aisle. Typically, the center armrest can be used by either at any time.”

Understanding the space limits of the aircraft and being open to compromise is also key.

“Keep in mind that the passenger sitting in the aisle seat may oftentimes use the middle armrest to leave room for the flight attendants and the cart used to serve everyone and to avoid being bumped on the shoulder when fellow passengers walk by,” Vernon-Thompson noted. “Consideration, respect and courtesy are extremely important when in a shared space and, more specifically, sharing an armrest.”

Smith noted that she is “very militant” about the topic of airplane armrest ownership but emphasised that there are exceptions to the rule of the middle seat passenger having ownership of both armrests.

“When traveling you must also pack your kindness and your consideration,” she said. “If you are a tiny human and the person next to you is folding themselves into an origami-yoga pose to fit in the seat, even if the armrest is ‘yours,’ you should share. Yes, humans are territorial creatures, and when a resource is a premium, our thoughts quickly turn to what we can claim.”

However, what separates humans from many other animals is our ability to empathise and work together, she added.

“Our goal is to arrive at our destination as safely and quickly as possible,” Smith explained. “If you do not need space, offer to share.”

What should you do if your fellow passengers aren’t following these rules?

“If a fellow passenger is not being respectful with their armrest, meaning they are leaning into your personal space over the armrest, look at them and politely request they slightly adjust their body as it seems you are short on room,” Gottsman suggested.

Whatever you do, refrain from taking an argumentative or combative approach to this request. Don’t assume your fellow travellers have bad intentions, and extend grace.

“You may politely ask if it is OK for you to use a portion of the armrest,” Vernon-Thompson said. “There are times passengers may be flying for business and are exhausted or there may be other reasons that have occupied a passenger’s thoughts, and they just did not think about the fact that they should be sharing the armrest.”

Before you broach the topic, take a moment to assess the situation and the possible outcomes. It’s only an armrest after all.

“If someone is using your armrest, you have to ask yourself whether it’s worth the potential altercation,” Gottsman said. “It’s always best to ask a flight attendant for assistance, but arguing over an armrest is probably low on a flight attendant’s radar when they are responsible for the safety and comfort of the entire plane.”

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Dylan Sprouse Spots Challenge To Working With Twin Brother Cole Again

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Dylan Sprouse revealed that he hopes to get to work with his twin brother Cole Sprouse again before pointing out a possible setback.

“I will say, though, there’s not very many good roles for twins in general. It’s usually pretty hokey,” said Dylan Sprouse, who dropped by “Live with Kelly and Mark” on Wednesday.

“I remember Cole distinctly being kind of bitter about Tom Hardy being a twin [in ‘Legend’],” he continued. “He doesn’t like when people play two different real people, and I looked at him, and I was like, ‘Cole, I don’t think they were looking for guys like us to play that role, anyway, if they’re hiring Tom Hardy.’”

The twin brothers, who kicked off their film career roughly 25 years ago in the Adam Sandler-led comedy “Big Daddy,” famously starred in Disney Channel’s “The Suite Life of Zack & Cody” and “The Suite Life on Deck.”

Dylan Sprouse said he’s getting more into executive producing and making projects, adding that — if anything — they’d “have to make something” to star in together.

“I thought it would be pretty funny to start casting him in roles where he gets like killed in the movie a lot, the kind of ‘South Park’ Kenny. I thought that would be kind of funny,” he joked.

“You know, where he’s on screen for five minutes and then explodes.”

Cole Sprouse, left, and his twin brother Dylan pose together at the premiere of the film "Lisa Frankenstein," on Monday, Feb. 5, 2024, in Los Angeles.
Cole Sprouse, left, and his twin brother Dylan pose together at the premiere of the film “Lisa Frankenstein,” on Monday, Feb. 5, 2024, in Los Angeles.

Chris Pizzello via Associated Press

Host Kelly Ripa, earlier in the “Live” interview with the actor, pointed to his brother’s appearance on her podcast, where he revealed that the twins “sort of blew off” Matt Damon when he came to visit “The Suite Life of Zack & Cody” set.

The host said Damon — whose kids were fans of the show — wanted to drop by during the brothers’ downtime, but the twins were playing video games.

Sprouse revealed that Damon arrived on set during one of the “raiding days” in their “World of Warcraft” guild and recalled the “Good Will Hunting” actor greeting the two.

He said, “I remember distinctly turning over my shoulder while playing in a raid being like, ‘Ugh, I don’t really have time for this right now.’”

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