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I’m A Sex Therapist – Here’s 4 Things You NEED To Do To Help With Intimacy After A Baby

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Starting a family is one of the biggest milestones in a relationship and it is impossible to overestimate the total joy of your baby arriving.

It’s therefore understandable that when your little bundle of gorgeousness is here, that they demand all your attention and that leaves precious little time for anything else.

Most parents complain about their lack of sleep, messy homes, and a total inability to have a shower some days. However, we don’t always discuss the impact that parenting can have on your relationship, and especially on your sex life. If it does get raised, it’s often laughed off – “how can I even think about sex when I’m covered in baby vomit!” – but maintaining intimacy can be a real challenge for some couples and can lead to relationship difficulties further down the line if not addressed.

In support of HiPP Organic’s new campaign, ‘The Parenting Connection’, I, as a psychosexual and relationship therapist, want to encourage open dialogues among new parents – helping them address the balance between parenthood and maintaining a strong relationship as a couple.

  1. Don’t panic! It’s never too late to start addressing intimacy difficulties even if it’s been a while since you did the deed. Pressure, anxiety and shame are total libido killers, so try to step more into a compassionate mindset. That’s especially important near Valentine’s Day when there can be huge pressure to have the perfect relationship! Remind yourself that it’s understandable that your mind hasn’t been on your sex life, but that it doesn’t have to be like this forever. Why not start by talking to your partner about how you feel and how you would like to improve the intimate side of your relationship.
  2. Seize the small moments. It doesn’t have to be about waiting until you have the energy to jump into bed together. You might be waiting a long time! Instead, small touches and moments of affection can make a big difference. Try giving your partner a hug and a kiss when you see them after work. Give them your eye contact when you talk. Touch them gently on the arm or back when you’re discussing your days. These small acts can mean so much when you’re both in need of some physical attention.
  3. Create a sexual menu. This takes the pressure off you having to have full sex, which might be tricky if the birth partner is still healing. A sexual menu can be a fun exercise for you both to share some different ideas for intimacy, such as bathing together, sensual massage or slow dancing. It also helps you to think about what you do want, rather than focusing on what you don’t. Ticking things off your new menu can add a much needed injection of novelty which is key for healthy relationships, so have fun!
  4. Try the 3 Minute Game. It’s so simple! Just ask each other 2 questions: “where would you like me to touch you for three minutes?” and “where would you like to touch me for three minutes?”. Breaking intimacy down into three minute chunks is a fantastic way to help you think about touch positively and willingly, as well as helping to improve your communication around intimacy.

It’s hard to prioritise your relationship when life is so exhausting, but we know that life satisfaction increases with relationship satisfaction so it’s worth the effort if you can. Remember that little and often is much more sustainable than trying to do grand gestures, and those small acts of intimacy can really build up to a much closer and more connected relationship. Good luck!

Elinor Harvey is a psychosexual and relationship therapist.

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Rishi Sunak Earned More Than £2.2 Million Last Year

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Rishi Sunak earned more than £2.2 million in the last financial year, it has emerged.

The prime minister paid the taxman paid £508,308 in tax – a rate of less than 23%.

The figures were revealed in Sunak’s tax return of 2022/23 and confirm his status as one of the country’s richest men.

It takes his total earnings over the last four years to more than £7 million.

Sunak earned £84,119 for being an MP, plus an additional £55,358 as prime minister.

He also received £3,985 in bank interest, plus £289,422 in investment interest and dividends.

The PM’s main source of income came was £1,796,202 in capital gains, meaning he earned £2,229,086 in total.

In all, he paid £163,364 in income tax plus £359,240 in capital gains tax – a total of 508,308.

His income tax rate was 37.7%, while he paid 20% tax on his capital gains. That is an overall tax rate of 22.8%.

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Tory Chair Reveals His ‘Frustration’ With Party Colleagues Over Conservative In-Fighting

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Tory Party chair Richard Holden has made clear his his frustration with his warring Conservative colleagues in a revealing TV interview.

In a moment when the ITV camera crew were filming cutaway shots, Holden was asked how he felt about the other Tory MPs who have called for PM Rishi Sunak to step down or who have called for the party to change direction.

The party chairman said this was “always frustrating”.

“People are always going to have different opinions,” he said. “Usually, it’s best for those opinions to be expressed with other colleagues in the most constructive manner possible, and I’m not sure all colleagues have always done that.”

ITV News’ political correspondent Tom Sheldrick then interrupted Holden to remind him, “your microphone’s on for this”.

Holden went on: “All colleagues want the same outcomes,” referring to migration and economic policies.

“The truth is there will always be slight disagreements about how to get there. It’s always important for all colleagues to remember what unites us, which are those fundamental things.”

Watch the exchange here:

Elsewhere in the interview, Holden – MP for North West Durham – furiously defended his loyalty to the North East region.

But he refused to say why he is not standing in any of the four local constituencies his current seat will be split into after the boundary review.

Sheldrick said: “It’s about you trying to find a safer seat, isn’t it, somewhere else in the country for yourself, rather than being loyal to the North East?”

Holden then energetically jabbed a map of the region and said: “No, I am bloody loyal to the North East, Tom.

“I care about this constituency. I fought for them every day since 2019.

“They’ve never had constituency MP who works harder. I’m up there still, even doing this [party chair] job, every week, working seven days a week, for the people of North West Durham, and I’m going to continue right to the day of the next general election.”

More than 50 Conservative MPs have already announced that they will not be standing at the next general election in a mass exodus.

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Straight Folk – You Seriously Need To Start Talking About HIV

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While we may think that, at this point, we know all there is to know about HIV and what causes it after decades of research, recent data has revealed that there is still a long way to go, especially for heterosexual people.

Newfoundland Diagnostics have recently conducted a study using a sample of 2,504 people, into public awareness and perception of HIV ahead of HIV Testing Week this week. Alarmingly, their research found that many people aren’t aware that anybody can get HIV and have never been tested.

According to the researchers, over one million straight people in the UK believe that they are immune to HIV. This is exceptionally alarming, given that UK Government figures show that almost half of HIV cases are heterosexual people.

73% of straight Brits have never tested for HIV

The study also found that over a fifth (21%) of heterosexual Brits believe that they are unlikely to contract HIV, leading them to not get tested. Additionally, one million Brits believe that they are ‘immune’ to the condition.

Other reasons for heterosexual people not testing for HIV include never having unprotected sex (18%), not having access to an HIV test (4%) and not being bothered to test for HIV (3%).

Overall, this research exposes a sore lack of education within the UK around HIV and how it is contracted and manifests. Newfoundland Diagnostics notes that this ironically echoes the infamous tombstone ads of the 80s which said: “don’t die of ignorance.”

Frederick Manduca, co-founder of Newfoundland Diagnostics, said: “Whilst testing does seem to be increasing in the long-term, these findings reveal there remains a substantial amount of ignorance towards testing and its importance amongst heterosexual people.”

Who can get HIV and how is it transmitted?

Despite much of the focus surrounding HIV being on gay, bisexual, and men who have sex with men testing for HIV, far more people could contract the disease. Anybody who has unprotected sex, exchanges bodily fluids or shares needles should regularly test for HIV. Anybody can get infected with it, regardless of sexuality, race, gender, sex, or age.

HIV is found in the body fluids of someone living with HIV. This includes semen, vaginal, and anal fluids, blood, and breast milk. In the UK, according to Newfoundland Diagnostics, the most common way of getting it is through anal or vaginal sex without a condom. It cannot be transmitted through sweat, urine, or saliva.

How do I test for HIV?

All HIV tests will check your blood for any blood-borne diseases and are available as part of a regular STI check up. You can visit a GUM clinic or sexual health practice for a test, or you can test at home with a self-test such as Newfoundland Diagnostics’ HIV test.

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Labour Has Slashed Its Green Spending Pledge By More Than £100 Billion

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Labour has slashed more than £100 billion from its flagship plan to boost spending on green energy projects.

Keir Starmer and Rachel Reeves blamed Tory plans to “max out” the government credit card for the embarrassing U-turn.

A ‘Warm Homes Plan’ to insulate 19 million homes in 10 years has been scaled back to 5 million in 5 years as part of the climbdown.

The shadow chancellor announced in 2021 that a Labour government would spend £28 billion a year over the course of the next five-year parliament – a total of £140bn – on projects to tackle climate change.

Reeves watered that down last summer by announcing that the spending target would not be reached until the second half of the parliament.

It has now been confirmed that the £28bn figure has been dropped entirely, and that the party plans to spend £23.7bn over five years instead – which is just £4.7bn a year and a reduction of £116bn from what was originally announced.

Nearly £11bn of that will come from an extension of the windfall tax on oil and gas company profits, with the rest of it being borrowed.

The climbdown follows months of speculation that the £28 billion figure was being ditched, and comes in the face of Tory claims the spending spree would lead to tax rises and send interest rates soaring.

Starmer said the £28bn commitment was being “stood down” because Liz Truss had “crashed the economy”, while Jeremy Hunt plans to spend any spare Treasury cash on tax cuts ahead of the election.

He said: “If the government says ‘we’re going to max out the credit card’, that’s a real problem.

“We’re going to inherit an economy that’s very broken and we have to adjust to the circumstances.”

Despite the scaling back of Labour’s original plans, Starmer insisted the party was still committed to delivering a zero-carbon electricity system by 2030.

A publicly-owned Great British Energy company will also be set up with a start-up fund of £8.3bn.

Meanwhile, a £7.3bn National Wealth Fund – with the private sector providing £3 for every £1 of public cash – will invest in electric vehicle production, clean steel and carbon capture and storage.

However, the scaling back of the party’s original plans have been condemned by some Labour MPs, other political parties and green campaigners.

Mike Childs, head of policy at Friends of the Earth, said: “By seriously watering down its warm homes plan, the Labour Party has turned its back on the people who most urgently need these essential upgrades – the many millions of low-income households suffering from living in poorly insulated homes.”

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Putin And Xi Say They Need To Oppose International Interference – From Other Countries

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China’s president Xi Jiinping and Russia’s Vladimir Putin have agreed their countries should both try to oppose international interference – something both nations have been actually been accused of.

According to a Kremlin press briefing, they both lashed out at the US in particular, denouncing the “US policy of interfering in the internal affairs of other states”.

The two leaders spoke during an hour-long phone call on Thursday and discussed establishing a “multipolar, fairer world order”.

The Moscow Times reported that the Kremlin aide Yuri Ushakov told journalists: “The leaders of the two countries realise that the US is practically implementing a policy of double containment [toward] both Russia and China.”

The US has sanctions against both Beijing and Moscow right now.

A readout from the Chinese state broadcaster CCTV also reported that Xi suggested the two “should closely collaborate strategically, defend the sovereignty, security and development interests of their respective countries, and resolutely oppose interference in internal affairs by external forces.”

The UK and its allies actually called out Russia for its own sustained attempts to interfere in UK politics and democratic processes only in December 2023.

Meanwhile, China was criticised by Taiwan for “repeated interference” in its elections only in January.

Xi and Putin’s relationship has strengthened significantly since Russia invaded Ukraine, and, according to the Kremlin, the leaders agreed today to continue having “close personal interaction”.

Weeks before the war began, Xi signed up to a “no-limits” friendship with Putin, with a series of long-term energy deals.

Xi went to Moscow last March, and Putin visited Beijing in October – a particularly surprising move from the Russian president, because of the international arrest warrant out against him.

Although the Kremlin’s press service said the bond between their two countries was at “an unprecedentedly high level” right now, they do not have any more visits scheduled.

According to CCTV, Xi said the two countries have “weathered many storms together” and they are “facing new opportunities for development”.

The two also spoke about “the development of Sino-Russian comprehensive partnership and strategic cooperation over the recent period.”

China-Russia trade reached the new high of $218.2 billion (£173.12 billon) during January-November, according to Chinese customs data.

Russia has been able to rely on China as a key economic lifeline since the West imposed unprecedented sanctions on Moscow over its ongoing invasion of Ukraine.

In exchange, China has access to Russia’s cheap energy exports and natural resources.

Xi also wished Putin success in the upcoming elections. Russia recently banned a popular antiwar opponent from standing in the election, and Putin is expected to win comfortably.

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Brianna Ghey’s Father Calls On Rishi Sunak To Apologise Over PMQs Trans Comments

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The father of murdered schoolgirl Brianna Ghey has called on Rishi Sunak to apologise over his joke about trans people.

Peter Spooner said the remarks at PMQs – as Brianna’s mother, Esther, watched from the public gallery of the House of Commons – were “absolutely dehumanising”.

Last week two 16-year-olds were convicted of murdering 16-year-old Brianna, who was transgender.

Tory MPs have also broken ranks to condemn the prime minister, who has so far refused to express any remorse.

Peter Spooner told Sky News: “For the prime minister of our country to come out with degrading comments like he did, regardless of them being in relation to discussions in parliament, they are absolutely dehumanising.

“Identities of people should not be used in that manner, and I personally feel shocked by his comments and feel he should apologise for his remarks.”

Sunak made the remarks as he launched an attack on Keir Starmer for changing his policy positions.

The PM said this included “defining a woman”, before adding with a laugh: “Although in fairness that was only 99% of a U-turn.”

That was a reference to Starmer’s previous claim that 99.9% of women “haven’t got a penis”.

In response to Sunak’s comment, Starmer hit back: “Of all the weeks to say that. When Brianna’s mother is in this chamber. Shame.

“Parading as a man of integrity when he has got absolutely no responsibility.

“I think the role of the prime minister is to ensure that every single citizen of this country feels safe and respected and it’s a shame the prime minister doesn’t share that.”

Esther Ghey later met with Starmer, who said he was “utterly in awe of her strength and bravery”.

At the end of PMQs, Sunak said what had happened to Brianna Ghey was “an unspeakable and shocking tragedy”.

He added that Esther Ghey “deserves all our admiration and praise”.

But following PMQs, Sunak’s spokeswoman doubled down on the prime minister’s comment, insisting it was “legitimate to point out the number of U-turns the leader of the opposition has made”.

Former minister Dehenna Davison, the Tory MP for Bishop Aukland, joined those who have condemned the PM.

She said: “The debate around trans issues often gets inflamed at the fringes. As politicians, it’s our job to take the heat out of such debates and focus on finding sensible ways forward, whilst ensuring those involved are treated with respect.

“Given some of the terrible incidences of transphobia we have seen lately, this need for respect feels more crucial than ever.

|That’s why it was disappointing to hear jokes being made at the trans community’s expense. Our words in the House resonate right across our society, and we all need to remember that.”

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The One Thing You Should Be Doing After A Big Meal To Improve Your Health

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Is there anything more satisfying than the feeling after a big meal? You’re full, you’re a little sleepy, and you’re satisfied. In fact, for some (me), it’s the ideal time to just nod right off and have a cheeky 20 minute nap.

In fact, the Christmas Day nap after the huge dinner is a highlight of the day for me.

However, apparently, what we should be doing is not napping but actually, walking. I know, I know, I’m disappointed too, but I think the health benefits may make it worthwhile.

According to @nikkithepa, an aesthetics, emergency and functional med physician assistant and TikTok creator, going for a walk after a big meal has a multitude of health benefits.

@nikkithepa

Taking a walk after eating can significantly improve digestion and enhance overall metabolism. 🍽️🔬 When you engage in gentle physical activity, like walking, it helps stimulate your digestive system, aiding in the breakdown of food and absorption of nutrients. It also encourages the movement of food through your gastrointestinal tract, reducing the likelihood of discomfort and bloating. 💪🌟 Moreover, walking after a meal has been found to positively impact blood sugar control. After you eat, your blood sugar levels rise, but walking can help your body utilize glucose more effectively. This means it helps prevent sharp spikes and dips in blood sugar, which is particularly beneficial for individuals with diabetes or those aiming to manage their weight. 📊🥦 Post-meal walks can also contribute to weight management. Engaging in light exercise, like walking, increases the number of calories burned, assisting in weight maintenance or even weight loss over time. It’s a fantastic way to stay active without putting excessive strain on your body. 🏃♀️🌈 So, why not make post-meal walks a regular part of your routine? Not only will you optimize digestion and metabolism, but you’ll also enjoy the added benefits of fresh air, stress reduction, and a chance to connect with nature. 🌳🌼 Remember, it doesn’t have to be a vigorous workout. A gentle stroll around the block or a nearby park is all it takes to reap these scientifically proven advantages. 💚✨ #PostMealWalks #ElevateYourWellBeing #HealthyHabits #weighloss #glucosecontol

♬ Don’t Let Me Go – Lane 8 & Arctic Lake

Why you should go for a walk after a big meal

In a recent video, Nikki says that this is the most simple but effective health habit you should be adding to your day for these x reasons:

Can help with digestion

Taking a short walk after a meal improves digestion. This is because walking helps to stimulate the muscles in your abdomen, promoting the movement of food through your digestive system.

Helps with blood sugar control

Nikki says: “By engaging in a post-meal walk, your muscles become more receptive to glucose uptake, allowing them to efficiently utilise and absorb the sugar from your blood stream.”

She adds that this helps regulate your blood sugar levels, preventing sharp spikes and crashes, promoting a metabolic balance.

It offers mental and emotional benefits

Nikki said that as you walk after a meal, your brain releases “feel good neurotransmitters” like serotonin and endorphins which improve the mood and reduce stress levels as well as enhancing overall mental wellbeing.

Nikki advises walking between 30 minutes to an hour after your meal and your walk only needs to be 10 to 15 minutes.

We’re off to get our steps in….

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Olivia Colman Had These Three Words To Say About Emma Stone In Poor Things

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The film has won over hearts and critics with its ethereal, strange plot and performances from Emma Stone and Mark Ruffalo but now, Poor Things has been rated by the most important person of all: Olivia Colman.

Of course, Olivia has worked with Poor Things director Yorgos Lanthimos previously on The Favourite, along with Emma Stone and Rachel Weisz: a film that the British Film Institute rated as one of the best released that year.

Speaking about Olivia, Emma said: “Olivia is like a marshmallow of a human being — like the most warm, gooey, lovey person you know. She’s just an absolute heart of a person.”

So, when it came to her opinion of Poor Things — a very personal project for Emma —, we reckon it was incredibly important to the actress.

Now, in a clip shared on TikTok by production company Searchlight Pictures, we learn exactly how Colman feels.

“You make me want to cry”

In the clip, Olivia starts by telling Emma that she knows compliments are awkward for her and tells her to channel her character from Poor Things and just say “thank you” in response to praise.

Olivia then says: “I think what you did was exquisite, and beautiful and brave.” She adds that everything Emma does always blows her mind but, “this whole thing was creative filmmaking that you just never see that Yorgos did and you were part of that.”

As well as starring in the lead role, Emma was also a producer on the film, and, in fact, her fellow producers stated that the film could not have gone ahead without her.

Continuing in her lavishing praise as Emma was clearly moved, Olivia said, “you go at things, you know, head first, and you blew me away. I do mean that. I can’t lie.”

Emma tearily responded saying: “I love you Colman. I LOVE YA.”

Ah, what a pair.

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Tory Ministers Left Red Faced After New ‘Dental Recovery Plan’ Accidentally Sent To Every MP

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Government officials accidentally sent top secret plans to boost NHS dental care to every MP in the Commons.

The ‘Dental Recovery Plan’, which will see dentists offered a £20,000 “bonus” to encourage them to take on more NHS patients, was not supposed to be unveiled until tomorrow.

But the blueprint, seen by HuffPost UK, landed in MPs’ email inboxes at lunchtime today.

Under the plans, ministers will spend an extra £200 million “to ensure everyone has fast and fair access to a dentist when they need one”.

Up to 240 dentists will receive the £20,000 payment to treat NHS payments for at least three years in so-called “dental deserts” areas where recruitment and retention is difficult.

A new “smile for life” scheme will see children in the first year of primary school will be given lessons on oral hygiene.

The move echoes a Labour plan for supervised toothbrushing for all 3 to 5 year-olds – which has been criticised by some Tory MPs.

Mobile dental teams will also be sent into schools in areas with fewer dentists to provide advice and fluoride treatment to 165,000 children.

The scale of the dental crisis in England has been highlighted this week by images of huge queues of people trying to sign up for an NHS dentist in Bristol.

Shadow health secretary Wes Streeting said: “After 14 years of Conservative neglect, patients are desperately queuing around the block to see a dentist, literally pulling their own teeth out, and tooth decay is the number one reason for 6–10 year-olds being admitted to hospital.

“The Conservatives are only promising to do something about it now there’s an election coming. By adopting Labour’s proposals for recruitment and supervised toothbrushing, they are finally admitting that they are out of ideas of their own.

“It will be left to the next Labour government to rescue NHS dentistry and get patients seen on time once again.”

Dentists have also condemned the government plan.

Shawn Charlwood, chair of the British Dental Association’s general dental practice committee, said: “This ‘Recovery Plan’ is not worthy of the title.

“It won’t halt the exodus from the workforce or offer hope to millions struggling to access care. Nothing here meets government’s stated ambitions, or makes this service fit for the future.

“Ministers wanted to stop dentistry becoming an election issue. By rearranging the deckchairs they’ve achieved the exact opposite.”

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