A Minute Of Kindness: Using Graduation Gowns As PPE

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Committing Before You See the Solution

A simple yet common common difference I’ve repeatedly seen between various friends could be described like this:

  • Some friends commit themselves to a problem before they’ve figured out the solution.
  • Some friends try to figure out the solution before they commit themselves to the problem.

By and large the first group makes significantly faster progress while the second group so often gets bogged down and stuck.

Consider on which side you normally fall here.

Are you able to commit yourself to tackling a problem or undertaking a lifestyle transition before you have it all figured out?

Or do you need to have all of the major pieces figured out first before you can get moving?

I like committing to challenges where I don’t know how everything will work out in advance. Life feels more fun and adventurous that way. Risk adds some nice edginess to life.

Another advantage to committing first is that it upgrades your motivation. When you feel committed to a problem, you push yourself harder to solve it versus when you’re still in pre-commitment. And so you come up with more creative solutions because you have more pressure to do so.

Some people fear and avoid this kind of pressure, but used judiciously it can be a tremendous ally. You find out what you’re really made of when you have to come up with a solution or suffer some significant consequences. You’ll do a lot more to figure out the how-to details once you’re in motion.

Will you always pull through and avoid failure? Probably not. I sure didn’t. Sometimes I over-committed myself and failed. But I still prefer that option because the more I commit first, the more I can fine-tune my calibration. I get better at figuring out when I’m really over-committing and when I should lean in, stretch, and trust myself more.

There’s still uncertainty and risk though. You could always guess wrong. But it’s okay to have some failures. You can recover and learn a lot from a spectacular failure.

Note that there’s a character sculpting effect here too. Each option causes you to develop into a different type of character. It takes more trust and self-confidence to commit before you can see the full solution, so the first option is good if you want to play that kind of character. If, however, you’d prefer to play a slower moving and more cautious character who skips a lot of opportunities and is very selective, the second option might be a better fit for you.

Just be aware that you do have options. Some problems can be pre-solved before you commit to them. Some problems are way too difficult to pre-solve until you’re fully committed, especially when the details or circumstances keep fluctuating.

Many times when people pre-solve a problem, they have to throw out their solution when it doesn’t actually work. But at least it may get them moving towards and eventual solution.

Especially take note of any areas in your life where you’ve been trying to figure out a solution for such a long time, and you’ve gotten stuck because you really haven’t committed yourself yet. Do you think it’s time to commit first and just move forward before you’ve figured out the details, trusting that you’ll solve whatever needs to be solved along the way? Remember that you always have that option, and it’s a powerful one.

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Processing Your Baggage

In the later years of Walt Disney’s life, he actively worked on his vision for EPCOT (Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow). His intention was to build a complete city of the future – a place for people to live and work in harmony. His designs included a central downtown hub with skyscrapers, Monorails and People Movers for transportation, houses for people to live in, entertainment centers, parks, waste management, and more. It was a big picture vision that he’d been working on for many years, including a deep study of urban planning.

When Walt died his EPCOT vision unfortunately died with him. No one else was willing and able to carry it forward. The real Epcot Center that was built in Orlando after Walt’s death would barely qualify as a shadow of what Walt actually wanted to build. His vision was much grander than another theme park.

What killed this dream? The answer is smoking.

Walt was a heavy smoker and had some serious health issues because of it, including lung cancer. Even as his health and energy were declining, he kept trying to work on this project, but his long-term habit of smoking got the better of him and cut his vision to shreds. He passed away in 1966 at the age of 65, not long after having a lung removed. At least he was able to say goodbye to the people he cared about.

Walt largely hid his smoking habit from the public, not allowing himself to be filmed or photographed smoking. He tried to quit of course but didn’t succeed, and in the end this nasty habit took him down.

Imagine what he could have done with an extra 10 or 20 years. The utopian city of tomorrow might actually have been built, at least the 1960s version of it. That could have created many interesting ripples.

Some forms of baggage can not only slow you down but can kill your dreams. It’s better to release this baggage while you can instead of dragging it into you future, year after year and decade after decade.

What’s your current baggage? Is there some nasty habit or inner demon that’s been burdening you? What happens if you carry it forward for the rest of your life? Even if it doesn’t damage your health, does it have the potential to crush your dreams?

We often hate to slow down and deal with our baggage, but sometimes that’s the intelligent choice. Imagine if Walt took a couple of years to put other aspects of life on pause and to do whatever it took to quit smoking when he was younger. Perhaps he could have retained two healthy lungs and spent an extra decade or more working on his biggest dreams.

With the current virus situation, there’s been a chance to slow down many aspects of life. For many people this is a good time to process and clear out old baggage, so we can release what no longer serves us.

Your baggage might be bad habit, but it could just as well be something else – a misaligned job, a misaligned relationship, a misaligned social circle, etc. What’s creating the most drag in your life when you try to advance towards your goals? What do you think would happen if you finally released it?

Processing your baggage won’t be easy, but admitting the truth that you absolutely must deal with it is a good step. Embracing and accepting the truth puts you on a path to greater freedom. Even when that’s difficult, don’t revert to denial. Just keep facing the daunting challenge.

Walt could have quit smoking. Many other people have done so. He didn’t make that enough of a priority in his life though. He didn’t do what was necessary to process that baggage.

Whatever is dragging you down is most likely a solvable problem, especially if many other people have already overcome similar burdens. It’s good to remind yourself of that often. Your problems have solutions. Your baggage doesn’t have to be permanent. Other people have processed and released similar baggage. And so can you.

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A Minute Of Kindness: Piano Player Lifts Mood In Minneapolis

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A Minute Of Kindness: This Man Covered His City With Happiness Signs

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Vegas and the Virus

On Sunday Rachelle and I went for an early morning walk along the Vegas Strip, mostly outside. I wanted to go mainly for curiosity’s sake. Normally the Strip is very uncrowded in the morning and then gets busier as lunchtime approaches, so I wasn’t expecting much activity till 10am or so. I figured the risk would be relatively low relative to what I might learn and share.

Some casinos are still open while others are still shuttered. What we saw, however, were varying degrees of safety measures – definitely inconsistent among different properties.

Every place had abundant hand sanitizer stations and limited seating at slots and table games (like only 3 chairs per blackjack table), so that at least enforces some social distancing.

Casino employees wore masks everywhere, including the dealers.

A few places had plexiglass dividers around the tables, providing some separation between dealers and patrons. Other places had no dividers at all.

A few places had free mask dispensers. Most open places didn’t seem to have these, however.

At first the area seemed like a ghost town. When we started our walk, it was the most deserted I’d even seen the Strip, even at this time of day. On some stretches it seemed like we were the only two people on the whole block. Occasionally I wondered if we were in a zombie apocalypse movie.

For the most part, it was relatively easy to practice social distancing at this time of day, but we also saw plenty that concerned us, especially as more people woke up and crowds started to form in some places.

First, wearing masks inside the casinos is optional for guests. While we saw many people wearing masks, a lot were mask-free. While masks don’t provide perfect protection, they do provide some, and seeing maskless people walking around inside the casinos gave me the impression that some people don’t care as much.

The most concerning sign though is that many people clearly aren’t practicing social distancing, and the casinos aren’t enforcing that within their walls. It looks like they’re playing lip service to social distancing with the chairs and many signs spelling out safety rules, but it’s clear that plenty of guests aren’t following even the most basic rules.

The places we saw that looked the most unsafe to me were the Venetian and the Flamingo. They were the most crowded places during our walk, and I saw a real lack of social distancing inside. I wouldn’t feel safe hanging out in those casinos.

Crowds of people were bunching up in various places, and in some areas that get a lot of traffic, proper social distancing isn’t realistically possible.

The casinos have clearly made changes, but when I looked with my own eyes, I got the distinct impression that a lot of it was more for show than substance. If mask-free people are going to bunch up a lot in high traffic areas, including standing in clusters behind the table games, I don’t see the Strip as being a safe place for visitors while the virus is still around.

I’m glad we went early in the day when it wasn’t crowded (relatively speaking), and we could spot problem areas and avoid them. But based on what I saw, it’s no stretch to expect that these problems will surely be worse later in the day, especially in the evenings. If we’re seeing issues in the early morning hours, they’re only going to amplify as the day goes on.

Normally the Strip has a certain kind of playful, excited, and fun vibe that I’m very familiar with. The vibe this time felt different – more somber and less fun. The feeling inside the casinos felt almost desperate to me.

When we first started walking, it was eerily quiet and looked abandoned. There was a lot of trash on the sidewalks in front of places that hadn’t yet reopened, like Planet Hollywood. At one point Rachelle spotted what looked like a glass of urine… at another point a condom on the ground – and those were inside open casinos. At least the condom was still in the wrapper. Normally the Strip has high standards of cleanliness, so it may be that they’re having some issues ramping back up to previous standards. That doesn’t bode well if they’re trying to raise their standards during this time though.

Unfortunately I think the tourists who are starting to come back to Vegas right now include too many ignorant and reckless folks. I’d recommend against visiting Vegas for tourism during this time. Remember that it’s not just about your own health but about the lives of others you could infect. I don’t intend to go back there anytime soon.

I contrast this experience with another recent morning walk we took yesterday in our neighborhood, through a long winding trail in a park. Locally we saw lots of good social distancing, including people going out of their way and walking on the grass to avoid others. But in the tourist areas, it was mostly the opposite.

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Human Privilege

We’re seeing an explosion of dialog around exploitative systems. People have varying degrees of awareness that they’ve been stuck in systems that affect their lives and the lives of others. Many are withdrawing their consent to participate in such systems going forward. Of course many feel they never consented to begin with. The social contracts are being questioned and uprooted.

I invite you to consider where you’re participating in nonconsensual systems for your benefit.

For instance, do you ever assert the privilege to do as you wish with animals, such as their bodies, their skins, their eggs, or their milk? Do you use any leather or wool products? Do you assert ownership of any animals? Do you claim any as your personal property? If so, you’re participating in nonconsensual systems that dominate other beings for your pleasure. You’re treating animals as human products. Is that what animals really are? Do you care about what their perspective might be? Are you afraid to even think about that?

You can largely opt out of animal abuse systems by choice. You’re not forced to treat the animal world as your personal shopping mall, asserting entitlement to their bodies and lives. Opting out is a viable option. Millions of people have already done it, and more are joining them each day by finally saying: No, this is wrong. I won’t participate anymore.

If you were to make it clear to an animal that you were trying to kill it, and you gave it a chance to opt out, how do you think it would respond? Do you think it would willingly indicate its consent?

Imagine this in Eeyore’s voice: Oh… it looks like you’re trying to kill me… okay, sure… why not? How about you cut my throat? And for good measure, rape my mate, and take her babies and milk too. I exist to serve you.

As pathetic as that sounds, isn’t that the narrative that many people are effectively using? Is that your narrative? Do you really have a better one that isn’t functionally equivalent?

Is your narrative something more religious or spiritual perhaps?

Well, God created animals and then humans, and He gave humans dominance over the animals.

Animals are inhabited by different spirits that willingly incarnate to help human spirits explore and experience this dimension of reality, including eating them with a variety of sauces and dips.

Those are bullshit narratives of course. They grant permission to nonconsensually rape, cage, and kill other species. These are cutesy stories to assuage guilt and to bury the voice of the heart.

What’s your favorite bullshit narrative for the nonconsensual systems you engage with? I encourage you to actually write it up in a sentence or two. Then read it back to yourself. See it for what it is.

Why use these delusional narratives? You could just be honest and say: I’m gonna dominate animals because I can. Fuck ’em for being weak. I really don’t care.

The problem is caring.

A nutty narrative gives you permission not to care. When you drop such a narrative, there’s a real risk that you might start to care. That’s happening with racism now. A lot more people are starting to care. Many are caring more deeply than before. The old narratives are breaking down. People are finally acknowledging that there’s a tremendous amount of systemic unfairness and violence. The crust of denial surrounding their hearts is starting to crack off. And this is leading to more awareness and different choices.

The nasty thing about various aspects of human privilege, whether we’re talking about animal abuse or human abuse, is that the systems do a pretty good job of hiding the pain and suffering from those who benefit from it. That unpleasantness is hidden, denied, or explained away in a comforting manner. Toss is some gaslighting of those who cry foul to tie up that loose end.

What’s the difference between denying racial abuse and denying animal abuse? One group can at least speak up to some extent. The other is more thoroughly dominated due to lack of a voice, other than compassionate humans advocating for them. In both cases systems are used to bury caring.

I suggest that you face the unpleasantness of these systems instead of running from it. Look past the bullshit narratives. This will be ugly to see, and you’ll want to look away at first. But change is possible if you start with truth alignment, and there is a lot more beauty on the other side.

Facing your abuse of people and animals is tough. Inviting these relationships to align with honesty and compassion is beautiful. You don’t have to keep living in denial. There are better and more aligned alternatives.

This isn’t just about the current issue of the day. It’s about the larger context of your relationship with truth. Where have you been leaning on systems that hide the truth from you? Look at social systems, corporate systems, or government systems that you interface with. Where are you using systems to live less consciously instead of facing the truth? What’s burying your sense of caring?

Sometimes we become aware of how we’re interfacing with these systems, and we can do something about it. Many people are doing that with racist systems around the world today. Note that the first steps for many include educating themselves. I just did a quick check on Amazon, and the top four bestselling books right now are all about race – as well as many more further down the list. It’s clear that many people are seeking to align themselves with more truth here. This is great.

Don’t stop with race alone though. Make truth alignment a lifelong pursuit. It will be ugly and messy much of the time. It will uproot your life more than once. But when you discover truths that you can no longer deny, they’ll bring you back in touch with your heart, and that makes change easier. You can opt-out of old systems that aren’t aligned with truth and love, but you must start with a willingness to look at the truth.

Truth is a fundamental growth accelerator. The more truth you can take in, the faster you can grow. This applies to us as individuals and collectively for society.

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Tim Lovejoy Took A Spectacular Tumble On Sunday Brunch, And Simon Rimmer Couldn’t Help… Because, Social Distancing

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UK Zoos May Never Reopen Post-Lockdown: ‘Our Future Hangs In The Balance’

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Integrity or Obedience

Recently some Facebook employees quit the company over Mark Zuckerberg’s handling of Donald Trump’s violent posts. Many employees would prefer that Facebook take a stronger stand while Zuckerberg defends his decision (rather feebly according to some employees and journalists). Many have been speaking out about this on social media, even flatly stating that Mark is wrong.

Meanwhile hundreds of other Facebook employees staged a virtual walkout to protest Zuckerberg’s decision.

It’s Zuckerberg’s company though. He has the controlling vote on such issues, so he gets final say. Hence employees have few options:

  • Try to change Zuckerberg’s mind
  • Quit
  • Obey

Most still choose the third option. Some may be obedient because they agree and feel aligned with Zuckerberg’s values. Others may disagree and keep showing up to work; they choose to be obedient and do their jobs despite the values conflict. Facebook even has a term for this: disagree and commit. Of course that means obey.

The first option is a temporary choice. Eventually it becomes option 2 or 3.

Consider what this kind of situation does to the characters of those who face them. These are classic character sculpting choices.

Obviously working at Facebook provides many secondary gains for those who work there. Some people will appreciate the opportunities, the money, the perks, and the teamwork. They may find that this is worth some character damage. That’s their choice to make; their characters will have different consequences to deal with whatever they decide.

Pursuing secondary gains at the cost of character integrity often leads to regret though. Money and other benefits can’t fill the void that this type of damage creates.

For many people who show up to work, they must face a values conflict with their boss or employer. This misalignment stares at them each day and won’t go away. They can’t sweep it under the rug. The conflict repeatedly reasserts itself, challenging them to choose obedience or integrity. Will they act in alignment with their true values, or will they surrender to someone else’s values? Each time they choose obedience, their alignment with integrity grows dimmer, and their alignment with obedience grows stronger.

Integrity is often the harder choice to make, especially when secondary gains are lavish. In the long run, however, it’s the right choice if you care about integrity and the character you’re becoming.

It’s harder to play a disobedient character. It’s harder to play a character who stands up and speaks and acts in alignment with inner truth. It’s harder to play a character who will loudly object to a company mandate like “disagree and commit,” recognizing it for the call to obedience that it is.

How much respect do you have for someone who continues working for secondary gains, choosing obedience over integrity? Do you aspire to become such a person yourself? Does that seem like a good deal? Will you take that offer if life presents it to you?

Have you already accepted such an offer? Are you in a situation right now where you disagree and yet still obey? If so, how do you feel about that deal? Does it feel aligned to you? Did you make the right choice? What were your other options?

Pay attention to where your decisions take your character, not just what they do for your lifestyle or bank account. While it is more of a challenge, you can enjoy positive character sculpting effects while also enjoying a rewarding lifestyle. The key is to make AND choices and reject the OR choices that life brings you.

If you don’t like dealing with the problems and character damage of disagreeing and obeying, another option is to deal with the problems and character sculpting effects of really trying to live in alignment with your values, even when it costs you some secondary gains. Those secondary gains aren’t gone for good. You can rebuild and replace them. And it’s quite rewarding to find ways to do that in alignment with your values. In particular you’re likely to sculpt yourself into a far more creative – and much freer – character.

A good place to start is to acknowledge that deep down, you disagree with “disagree and commit.” That level of obedience is beneath you, isn’t it?

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