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Why You Feel So Compelled To Make Resolutions Every Single Year, Even If You Fail

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A new year. A new school year. A new week. Mental health experts say our brains are naturally drawn to fresh starts, wired to find motivation in new beginnings.

These moments act like a psychological reset button, nudging us toward self-reflection, habit-building and behaviour change. Yet despite making resolutions year after year, many of us struggle to stick with them. Why do we keep coming back for more?

Here’s why we crave resolutions and how to harness them in a way that actually boosts productivity and keeps momentum going, helping you feel more accomplished all year long.

Why Our Brain Is Drawn To Making Resolutions

Though the start of a new year has long been tied to making resolutions, there’s more behind the tradition than just cultural habit.

“For many, fresh starts feel hopeful,” said Jennifer Birdsall, a board-certified, licensed clinical psychologist and chief clinical officer at ComPsych. “Psychologically, they allow people to release the baggage of past experiences, including failures, and set forth on goals with renewed energy and optimism.”

This ties into what psychologists call the fresh start effect. When a clear milestone, like a new year, a birthday or the start of a new semester, gives us the sense of turning the page, it helps us mentally separate our past self from our future self, motivating us to break old habits and approach change with a bit of extra momentum.

Resolutions can also give your brain a boost. There are actually psychological benefits to making goals, even if you don’t follow through on them. Simply setting resolutions can help you feel a greater sense of control.

“This is especially important right now given how much uncertainty people experience in today’s volatile social, political and economic climate,” Birdsall said.

Alivia Hall, a licensed clinical social worker and clinical director at LiteMinded Therapy, noted that just picturing a future version of ourselves, one who feels healthier, more grounded and more intentional, activates the brain’s reward system, triggering a dopamine boost.

“The anticipation alone can create a sense of energy and momentum before we’ve taken a single step,” she explained.

Why Resolutions Often Don’t Stick

Many of us start the year with the best intentions, only to find our goals slipping away a few months in.

One reason, according to Hall, is that we often approach goal-setting with an all-or-nothing mindset, viewing success as binary: either you succeed or fail. So when someone skips a single workout or misses a day of journaling, the brain quickly convinces them they’ve completely blown it.

“That harsh, all-or-nothing lens can make people give up on their goals entirely, instead of seeing it as just a small setback they can recover from,” she explained.

Another common pitfall is relying on willpower. “Early on, motivation runs high because the brain is lit up by novelty and reward anticipation. But once that dopamine surge fades, sheer discipline often isn’t enough to sustain change,” Hall said.

Without structure, environmental cues or a deeper connection to our values, goals can start to feel less like inspired choices and more like chores. “Psychologically, this creates friction between intention and behaviour – which is why so many resolutions quietly start to fizzle by February or March,” she added.

It's not your fault: your brain is hardwired to set goals and then quit.

AscentXmedia via Getty Images

It’s not your fault: your brain is hardwired to set goals and then quit.

How To Really Accomplish A Resolution, Once And For All

What we need to be mindful of is falling into a cycle of constantly setting new resolutions, enjoying that dopamine boost, and then quickly abandoning those goals. Here are some tips for sticking to a goal long-term when you start to fall off:

Do a self-audit before creating your resolution.

“I’m a big proponent of doing a self-audit prior to making resolutions or setting goals, as it encourages a more structured and intentional approach to personal growth by reflecting on one’s strengths and weaknesses, as well as one’s accomplishments and growth opportunities,” Birdsall said.

Taking time to look back at what you’re most proud of, what may have held you back and how closely you’ve been living your values can help clarify where you want to focus your energy next and which goals will feel most meaningful to pursue.

Anchor your resolutions to your values.

“Attune to the aspect of the goal that taps into your motivation,” said Lorain Moorehead, a licensed clinical social worker and therapy and consultation practice owner.

So if the end result of finishing a marathon doesn’t excite you, maybe what does is the value of improving your physical health. “The motivation that is there when the goal is initially set can wear off, especially as you become tired or the goal becomes challenging or draining,” she said. But when you stay connected to the deeper why behind your goal, it becomes much easier to keep going, even when the momentum dips.

Set micro goals to build self-trust.

“Break goals into the smallest possible steps, so small they almost feel too easy,” said Ellen Ottman, founder and licensed therapist at Stillpoint Therapy Collective.

For example, instead of running 10 miles per week, start with putting on your running shoes and walking outside three times a week, as completing even tiny goals triggers dopamine, which boosts both motivation and confidence.

Form connections with like-minded people.

Form connections with other goal-setters who can offer support, encouragement or feedback along the way.

“Achieving something can be lonely,” Moorehead said. “People can diminish the goal if they don’t understand the process, so it can be helpful to receive support from others who are committed to a goal.”

As a way to foster community, join a group of people practicing the same skill or who have already tackled similar goals.

If you falter, reset your resolution and keep going.

Some 92% of people fail to achieve their goals, so if you’ve fallen off track partway through the year, you’re not alone. The good news is that it’s never too late to reset without feeling like you’ve failed.

“Progress rarely happens in straight lines, so the most powerful thing you can do when you lose momentum is to reset with kindness,” Ottman said. “Shame tends to freeze us, while curiosity and self-compassion help us move forward.”

Instead of trying to catch up or scrapping your goal altogether, try reworking it. If your original goal was to read more, make it smaller and more specific, like reading one page a day. “Small, consistent wins rebuild trust and confidence in your ability to follow through,” Ottman said, “creating the true foundation for lasting change.”

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How To Tackle The Holiday Blues And Enter A New Year Calmly

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Personally, I find the holidays hard. I love Christmas as a concept but with three of my closest family members dying during this season, it just feels a little too tender for me.

One of my favourite Christmas songs is called “It’s Christmas So We’ll Stop” in which the singer describes Christmas as a chance to breathe during difficult times, a moment to forget the heavy weight of our lives. Then he goes on to say “next day life went back to its’ bad self”.

This is how it feels to me, and many of us. Life hits harder after moments of reprieve and celebration.

According to a medically reviewed article by Health Central, 64% of us struggle with post-holidays depression.

How to cope after Christmas

Writing for The Conversation, Jolanta Burke, Associate Professor, Centre for Positive Health Sciences, RCSI University of Medicine and Health Sciences has given her advice for muddling through.

First, she explains, this slump makes perfect sense: “During the festive period, dopamine levels tend to rise. Anticipation of celebration, time spent with others, indulgent food and festive rituals all stimulate this feel-good system.

“Compared with everyday life, the brain experiences a powerful boost. Even thinking about Christmas before it arrives can activate these pathways, creating a surge of sensory excitement.”

I can relate to this. The build-up to Christmas is almost always more fun than the day itself.

Burke adds: “Once Christmas is over, dopamine levels naturally fall back to their usual baseline. This sharp contrast between heightened stimulation and everyday routine can leave people feeling flat, unmotivated or low. This is the familiar post-Christmas slump.”

As for helping yourself…

Re-establish your routine ASAP

Burke says: “Re-establishing your usual routine as soon as possible can also help. Returning to regular bedtimes and wake times supports your circadian rhythm and helps your body regain a sense of normality.

“Exposure to daylight soon after waking is especially useful, as natural light signals to the brain that the day has begun. A short walk around midday, when light levels peak, can further support energy and mood.”

Make plans for the month ahead

Burke urges: “Scheduling small activities, social connections, or goals gives you something to look forward to and softens the emotional contrast between the festive season and everyday life. Practising presence and finding small moments of enjoyment each day can also help restore balance.”

We’re going to be okay.

Help and support:

  • Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
  • Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
  • CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
  • The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
  • Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.
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Apparently This Is What Straight Men Wanted More Of In Sex In 2025

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A lot of us won’t look back so fondly on 2025 but, if dating app Feeld’s latest findings can tell us anything, we’re all still feeling pretty open minded and pretty damn horny.

Ah, the human spirit.

Last week, we reported that the fastest-growing sexuality in 2025 was heteroflexibility and now we can reveal the sex act which has risen by 200% in 2025: pegging.

So, what is pegging?

Pegging was a term coined back in 2002 by sex columnist Dan Savage who was referring to a cisgender woman using a strap-on dildo to penetrate her cisgender male partner.

However, as with all words, language can evolve and now on their website, Ann Summers explains: “Pegging is the act of one partner taking the lead in penetrative anal sex using a strap-on. While it’s often associated with women using a harness on their male partners, that’s far from the only way to enjoy it.

“Whether you’re queer, trans, non-binary or just looking to mix things up, pegging can be a thrilling way to explore power dynamics, penetration and pleasure. For those already dabbling in anal play, pegging can be a natural next step.”

So, why has pegging grown in popularity?

Dr. Luke Brunning, a lecturer in Applied Ethics who specialises in love and relationships at the University of Leeds explains: “Pegging has shifted from taboo to mainstream preference. Feeld data shows cis men are driving the surge — a sign of decreasing stigma around anal pleasure, regardless of gender and sexuality.

“This trend reflects expanding definitions of masculinity and growing curiosity about pleasure beyond traditional scripts.”

Dr Brunning is hopeful that this is part of a bigger picture of deconstructing masculinity and men exploring pleasure beyond heteronormative norms.

He says: “It does point towards a vision of masculinity that is more comfortable talking about the body, pleasure, female agency.”

Here’s hoping.

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Former Tory Prime Minister Takes Swipe At Kemi Badenoch For Ditching Net Zero

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Theresa May has taken a swipe at Kemi Badenoch over her decision to ditch the Tories’ support for Net Zero.

The former prime minister – who committed the UK to ending carbon emissions by 2050 when she was in No.10 – warned her successor that “there’s a cost to not doing something”.

That was a clear dig at Badenoch’s criticism of Net Zero, which she said “tied us in red tape, loaded us with costs, and did nothing to cut global emissions”.

Badenoch announced the Conservatives were no longer committed to Net Zero in a major policy shift in October.

“We want to leave a cleaner environment for our children, but not by bankrupting the country,” she said.

But appearing on Radio 4′s Today programme on Wednesday, May made clear her unhappiness at the move, suggesting that Badenoch was not thinking about the “longer term” impacts for the planet of her decision.

She said: “One of the challenges in government is always to remember that yes, you need to be concerned about the here and now, but you do also have to think about the longer term as well.

“Obviously when I was prime minister we put through the legislation to put Net Zero by 2050 into law, the first major country to do so, was to set that target so people would start to innovate. And we have seen huge innovations, and we still see innovations taking place.

“You always hope that whatever you put into government is going to stay there forever, and people talk about the cost of doing something. There’s a cost to not doing something as well – we always have to remember that.”

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Excessive Eye Rubbing Could Be A Sign Of This Vision Condition

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The last time I went to the opticians, I told them that my vision had been worsening a little.

It’s not so much that I can’t see things that are nearby or far away but that I seem to experience a lot of vision blurring without other worrying symptoms like feeling faint or dizzy.

It’s odd because until my mid-twenties, I hadn’t really experienced vision issues but over the past decade, I have noticed that my eyes are really struggling to focus a lot of the time and if I don’t wear my glasses, it’s near impossible for me to even read a book.

Outwith the small text on a book though, everything is still crystal clear. It’s so frustrating.

Turns out, my cornea is cone-shaped

Following some tests and realising that my right eye simply *cannot* read any part of a standard eye test when the left one is covered, my optician said she wanted to get a closer look at the cornea of my right eye.

Following a proper review, she told me that I have developed the degenerative eye disease keratoconus in both eyes but far more pronounced in my right eye and my cornea had morphed into a sort of cone shape.

I mean, what do you even say to that?

On their website, Specsavers explains:

Keratoconus often affects both eyes, and the symptoms can differ from person to person. In its early stages, keratoconus symptoms can include:

  • Mild blurring or vision

  • Slightly distorted vision, with some parts clear and some parts blurry

  • Increased sensitivity to light and glare

In a small number of cases, keratoconus continues to progress. Symptoms include:

  • Very blurry and distorted vision

  • Eye pain

  • Increased near‑sightedness or astigmatism

  • Not being able to wear contact lenses, as they no longer fit properly

My optician did inform me that she thinks I’ve actually had this for decades without being diagnosed as the technology is quite advanced and wasn’t available in my area until very recently. Spooky.

Eye rubbing can both cause and worsen it

One thing my lovely optician did ask is if I often rub my eyes and, yes, I do. I have hayfever during the sunnier months of the year but I also have Dyspraxia so know that my eye rubbing is very heavy-handed.

Prescription Vision London says on their website: “Research shows that chronic eye rubbing stands out as one of the most important risk factors. Your cornea becomes distorted at the time you keep rubbing your eyes, and this can end up causing permanent vision loss.”

So, what are the treatment options for keratoconus?

In early stages, corrective contact lenses are an option. Otherwise, Eye Clinic London advises that other treatments include:

  • Corneal cross-linking – this slows the progression of keratoconus by using B2 drops in the eyes and activating them with UV light
  • Intacs – these are small, crescent-shaped plastic rings that are surgically inserted into the peripheral cornea. Their purpose is to flatten the cone and make the cornea more regular — improving vision and contact lens tolerance
  • Corneal transplant – “when vision can’t be corrected even with the most advanced lenses — or when the cornea becomes dangerously thin, scarred, or structurally unstable — a corneal transplant may be the only remaining option”

Guess I’ll just have to see what the future holds!

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Why Alaa Abd El-Fattah’s Case Might Well Hang Over Labour Into 2026

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Alaa Abd El-Fattah’s name has been circling political spheres for years now as successive British governments tried to secure his freedom.

The pro-democracy activist was detained in Egypt before being sentenced to five years behind bars in 2021 and accused of “spreading fake news”.

The UN later declared his arrest was unlawful. As he is British-Egyptian dual national, both the Conservatives and Labour made an effort to lobby for his freedom.

So it was a no-brainer for Keir Starmer, when he proudly announced El-Fattah had finally been released and was back in the UK on Boxing Day.

However, it soon emerged that El-Fattah had a history of posting offensive tweets, which included calls for violence against Zionists and the police.

Suddenly, the Conservatives and Reform UK began calling for the government to revoke the El-Fattah’s citizenship.

Tory shadow home secretary Chris Philp even called him a “scumbag”.

El-Fattah quickly apologised “unequivocally” for his own “shocking and hurtful” words from a decade ago, describing the posts as “mostly expressions of a young man’s anger and frustrations in a time of regional crises” in the Middle East.

No.10 welcomed his apology, admitting his social media posts were “abhorrent” but insisted it still welcomed the return “of a British citizen unfairly detained abroad”.

However, just hours later, the Foreign Office announced it was looking into how officials had ever been “unaware” of El-Fattah’s posts, some of which dated back to 2010.

Foreign secretary Yvette Cooper wrote to MPs admitting the long-standing procedures and due diligence arrangements had been “completely inadequate” in this case.

She added that it is “deeply concerned that the unexpected emergency of these historical tweets” and ministers’ own posts welcoming El-Fattah had caused distress to the Jewish community.

While a review into these “serious information failures” might quieten some of the temporary backlash around this particular case, it speaks to a wider communication problem with the government.

It’s just the latest area where there seems to have been a major flip-flop at the last moment. Critics have slammed it as a moment which perfectly captures the government’s incompetence.

It comes after major U-turns over other policies, like inheritance tax for family farms, the two-child benefit cap, and welfare cuts – to name just a few – all of which have accompanied a steep decline in the poll for Labour, just 18 months out from a landslide victory.

The topic of citizenship is one which is particularly divisive right now, too.

A new YouGov poll found twice as many Brits ( 36% compared to 19%) now think birthplace is key to being a UK citizen compared to two years ago.

Backlash over asylum hotels reached new heights in the summer, as far-right protests

Meanwhile, opposition politicians are calling for the government to withdraw from the European Convention on Human Rights to crack down on small boat crossings amid rising anti-immigration sentiment.

While Labour are only pushing to reform the ECHR right now, home secretary Shabana Mahmood has already introduced sweeping changes to the asylum system, including making refugee status temporary.

As More in Common chief Luke Tryl wrote on X, this backdrop means El-Fattah’s case could “become a defining moment” for the government.

He said it risks “crystallising” arguments the government “simply isn’t competent enough to be in control or, more than that, has badly out of line priorities”.

With the challenges already mounting up for Labour as it heads into 2026, the government’s opponents can be expected to continue pressing this matter for some time to come yet.

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Why 2 Of Trump’s Claims About Israel-Gaza War Have Been Torn Apart

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Donald Trump made two major claims about the Israel–Gaza conflict in a press conference with Benjamin Netanyahu on Monday – but do they stand up to scrutiny?

The US president hosted the Israeli prime minister in Florida on Monday as American officials try to push both Israel and Hamas into the second phase of its Gaza peace plan.

The strategy, adopted in October, is now meant to turn the delicate ceasefire established in the first stage, into a sustainable settlement.

While supposedly encouraging Netanyahu to pull his troops back from Gaza, Trump also claimed there “will be hell to pay” for the Palestinian militants unless they full disarm – and soon.

The president also talked up the impact he’s had on the war and outlined a rough timeline – two claims which have been efficiently taken apart in the last day…

1. The Real Impact Of The Biden Administration

The US president claimed “just about” every Hamas hostage was released by his White House team – but that’s not true.

Trump told the press: “Every hostage just about that has been released was released because of me, Steve Witkoff, Jared Kushner – my whole team – Pete Hegseth – they were all released because of us.

“None were released because of the Biden administration. None. Then, we had a lack of releases with respect to the dead, and all of sudden they start coming. back.”

Joe Biden’s administration actually pushed Hamas to release 138 hostages via a series of deals.

Hamas also released many individuals sporadically during the first 10 months of the year, before Trump’s ceasefire deal came into place.

It has freed 20 living hostages and returned the bodies of 27 dead hostages since the US agreement was introduced in October.

Out of the 251 people taken captive on Israeli soil back on October 7, 2023, only the body of one – 24-year-old Ran Gvili who was killed during the Hamas attack – is yet to be sent home to his relatives.

Returning the remains of every hostage is a key part of the ceasefire deal.

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🚨UNBELIEVABLE: Trump claims “every Israeli hostage just about” was released because of HIM — and says NONE were released under Biden.

FACT CHECK: 138 Israeli and American hostages were released while Biden was president.
pic.twitter.com/spB48dkOY2

— CALL TO ACTIVISM (@CalltoActivism) December 29, 2025

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🚨UNBELIEVABLE: Trump claims “every Israeli hostage just about” was released because of HIM — and says NONE were released under Biden.

FACT CHECK: 138 Israeli and American hostages were released while Biden was president.
pic.twitter.com/spB48dkOY2

— CALL TO ACTIVISM (@CalltoActivism) December 29, 2025

2. When Phase 2 Of The Gaza Peace Plan Could Really Start

Trump repeatedly insisted that Hamas and Israel need to move to the second phase “as quickly as we can” on Monday.

Speaking about Hamas, he said: “If they don’t disarm as they agreed to do, they agreed to it, and then there will be hell to pay for them. They have to disarm in a fairly short period of time.”

He also claimed the reconstruction of Gaza could “begin pretty soon”, although stopped short of offering a clear timeline.

But former UK National Security Adviser, Lord Ricketts, told the BBC that phase two of this plan is “nowhere near ready to being implemented”.

He warned the disarming of Hamas is just one part of the 20-point peace plan.

Other elements include the establishment of a Palestinian technocratic committee meant to run Gaza, an international stabilisation border force and a Trump-chaired Board of Peace.

“None of that seems to me to be at all ready,” Ricketts said.

“Hamas are not just going to disarm like that. The whole point of the 20-point plan is that Hamas would disarm gradually, with international monitoring, as an international force took over.

“For all Donald Trump’s optimism, I don’t think any of that is in place. The Arab nations are not queuing up to put their troops into Gaza, no one wants to be seen to be disarming Hamas at the say-so of the Israelis.

“Behind this performative friendship [between Trump and Netanyahu], not much has happened on stabilising the Gaza peace plan.”

He added that the Israelis “absolutely” don’t want to withdraw in the meantime, and so they are in a “kind of circular problem here”.

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President Trump and Prime Minister Netanyahu met in Florida yesterday to discuss the Gaza peace plan.

Lord Ricketts, former UK National Security Adviser, says phase two of the plan, including Hamas disarming and the IDF withdrawing, is ‘nowhere near ready to being implemented’. pic.twitter.com/H16lrGuxdW

— BBC Radio 4 Today (@BBCr4today) December 30, 2025

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President Trump and Prime Minister Netanyahu met in Florida yesterday to discuss the Gaza peace plan.

Lord Ricketts, former UK National Security Adviser, says phase two of the plan, including Hamas disarming and the IDF withdrawing, is ‘nowhere near ready to being implemented’. pic.twitter.com/H16lrGuxdW

— BBC Radio 4 Today (@BBCr4today) December 30, 2025