The Most Common Signs Of Autism In Adult Women

More girls and women are being diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum than ever before.

This is due, in part, to the symptoms being more spoken about than they have in the past, with celebrities sharing their insights and stories with the world.

Everyone from Courtney Love, Greta Thunberg, Daryl Hannah and Susan Boyle have shared that they are autistic.

And most recently, the singer Sia has shared on Rob Has A Podcast about her recent diagnosis. “For 45 years, I was like … ‘I’ve got to go put my human suit on,’” she shares on the pod. “And only in the last two years have I become fully, fully myself.”

That feeling of being different is shared with many autistic women and girls and could be part of the reason why, historically, women are much less likely to be diagnosed than men.

“They might seem to have fewer social difficulties than autistic men and boys, but this could be because they are more likely to ‘mask’ their autistic traits”, says the UK’s National Autistic Society.

Contrary to behaviours that people usually associate with autistic people, like rocking in chairs and an obsession with trains, autistic women and girls may demonstrate things like “twirling hair and reading books, and as such may go unnoticed despite the greater intensity or focus typical for autistic people.”

TikTok video creator Kaelynn shared about her experience with autism, saying that she had to learn to mimic other people’s body language and soon learned to fit in that way. This is often referred to as masking.

Things could be changing, though: a report by The Independent shows around 150,000 women took an online test (verified by health professionals) to see if they have autism in 2021, up from about 49,000 in 2020.

If you think you might be autistic, here are the other most common symptoms to look for…

  1. Difficulty making and keeping friends
  2. Having unusual sensitivity to sensory challenges, like not liking the feeling of how clothing sits on their body, or how bright the lights are in their house
  3. Having passionate but limited interests (not always typical autistic interests, like trains, numbers, etc.)
  4. Difficulty communicating with others and feeling like the odd one out
  5. Might have a flat, monotone voice and difficulty conveying emotions with their face, or might not be able to hide their emotions
  6. Stimming – this could be rubbing hands together, skin picking, rocking back and forward, clapping hands, feet rubbing, hair twirling, etc. It’s thought to be a self-regulation tool to help autistic people self-soothe and calm down

If you think you might be autistic, head to the National Autistic Society’s website or speak to your GP for advice and more information.

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My Children Are Autistic, Here’s How We Make Christmas Wonderfully Unique

The festive period can be overwhelming for lots of people, but for autistic children it can be a particularly fraught time of year.

The disruption to their routine, sensory overload, and overwhelming influx of new information can be stressful and sometimes even distressing, says Michelle Myers, who works for Great Minds Together, a charity supporting young people with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND).

Myers – who is an autistic woman and mum to autistic children – suggests all of this can add up to trigger episodes of increased levels of anxiety, fluctuation of needs and different behaviours as children process these changes.

“It can be a really difficult time,” she tells HuffPost UK, “but there are steps that parents can take to better support them and reduce the overall stress of the festive period.”

Here are her tips for navigating the festive period if your child is autistic or has additional needs.

Don’t be afraid to create new traditions

“Be unapologetically you and do what brings your family peace and joy this Christmas,” says Myers.

Whether it’s leaving presents unwrapped under the tree because your child has a sensory sensitivity to wrapping paper, or you let them eat their favourite pizza instead of Christmas dinner, her main piece of advice is to “do what works for you”.

“Create new traditions,” she suggests. “Neurodiverse families are wonderfully unique so it makes sense that our Christmas should be just as wonderfully unique as we are.”

Do plan ahead

Sticking to daily routines can be so important for autistic children (and adults!), so Myers advises keeping as many routines in place as possible over the festive period – and that includes Christmas Day.

“Some routines for autistic people are as essential to us as breathing,” she says, “so to have too many changes can really impact us.”

When things do have to change, it’s important to plan as far in advance so you can give your child as much warning as possible – “and don’t change too many things at once,” she adds.

Don’t say ‘yes’ to events you know will be stressful

It’s so important to advocate for the needs of your child – and that means saying no to events that you know will be stressful.

“Tell Aunty Irene that hugs are a no-go. Ask school for a timetable of events. You owe no explanations to anyone,” says Myers.

She says autistic people deserve to have their “often-hidden needs accepted and respected”, otherwise they can fall into the trap of feeling the pressure to conform, which can lead to masking, she adds, “which is never a good thing for anyone”.

Masking is where a person hides or disguises parts of their selves in order to fit in. According to the National Autistic Society, it might involve suppressing certain behaviours autistic people find soothing, or mimicking the behaviour of other people in order to get by in social situations.

Do use visual supports

Visual supports such as lists, calendars, text messages or even photos can help autistic people prepare for new experiences, suggests Myers. So don’t be afraid to roadmap what Christmas – and the following days – will entail.

“It helps us to process time, sequence activities and even reduces our anxiety,” she says.

Any kind of visual support you can provide will act as a sat nav to their day. This helps them see the steps they need to take, prevents them from getting lost, and maps out the time it will take (so they can see it will end eventually).

All of this can contribute to preventing them from getting overwhelmed.

Do remember to schedule time for them to recharge

“Imagine we all have a battery inside us. Some things we do drain our battery, and some things we do charge our battery. December brings with it lots of things that can quickly deplete autistic children’s batteries,” says Myers.

Whether it’s the carols, the flashing lights, the social interaction with family members you haven’t seen since this time last year.

“We need to remember that their little batteries may need more opportunities to charge at this time,” says Myers. So do schedule time for your family to rest amid the mayhem of the festive period – even on Christmas Day.

“Take a sensory bag, ear defenders, a dark den, their favourite snack or blanket, whatever works for them,” she adds.

Don’t be too hard on yourself

One thing it’s important for parents to remember is that it’s ok if things don’t turn out perfectly at Christmas. You’re doing the best you can.

Myers recalls how one year her Christmas tree collapsed and thousands of pine needles fell off it. “I was devastated,” she recalls. “I cried so much I convinced myself that Christmas was over.

“But then my son came bounding down the stairs and proceeded to swish through the dry dead pine needles like fallen autumn leaves – my tears turned to hysterical laughter streaming down my face.

“All was not lost, right there in that moment we found joy and laughter. We shared such a moment together in the chaos of my fallen tree that I realised that for us, Christmas was always going to look a bit different to everyone else’s – and that was OK.

“In fact, it was more than ok, it was amazing.”

For more information on supporting children with SEND including informative blogs and podcasts visit www.greatmindstogether.co.uk.

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‘My Daughter Couldn’t Speak Until She Was Six, But She Knew Exactly What She Wanted To Say’

In My Story, readers share their unique, life-changing experiences. This week we hear from Rachael Kent, who’s 40 and based in south Yorkshire.

When my daughter was 18 months old, she was still making baby babble noises. It was like she was trying to make sense of different things, but it was just noises that came out of her mouth. She couldn’t form words.

Freya-Rose started a preschool group at two and when I saw her in that environment with other children her age, I realised she was going to need some intervention to help her with her speech.

She was referred to speech and language therapy – we did group sessions to begin with and she tried so hard. She’d get frustrated because she knew exactly what she wanted to say, but it just didn’t come out.

As she grew up, other kids would shy away from her. They’d call her the baby because of the fact she’d make sounds like ‘ba ba ba’ all of the time, even when she was trying to talk. You could see it hurt her because she’s a very expressive child. She can’t hide anything that well.

At the park, kids would go near her but the second she opened her mouth and all these strange noises came out, you’d see them look and then move away – and she’d just be stood there. That was heartbreaking to watch.

Every now and again you’d come across another child who didn’t mind or care that she couldn’t speak and they’d go on the roundabout together.

But it got to the stage where as a parent I used to think: is it really worth taking her up to that park and watching her look so disheartened because nobody wants to talk to her?

I would always say to other parents: if they see a child like that, don’t pull your kid away from them, don’t make a big issue out of it as if they’ve got something wrong with them. Get them to ask questions because that’s how they’re going to learn and how they’re going to be more accepting of kids that are a little bit different and talk in a different way.

When Freya moved to nursery, she had another speech and language assessment and they decided they were going to come in weekly to work with her.

The nursery had to do 15-minute sessions with her every day and then we did 15-minute sessions with her at home. You can’t just rely on the actual therapist coming in, like it’s going to be some sort of magic thing. As a parent you have to put that work in too, constantly helping them. It’s got to be a team effort between everybody to keep it going.

Because she was really struggling to make herself understood, we taught her Makaton and she picked the signs up really quickly. We already knew Makaton because Freya’s older brother Alex, who’s now 21, has autism, ADHD and epilepsy – and we’d used it to communicate better with him when he was younger.

We’re very lucky Freya is a really placid child, so even when she couldn’t speak we only ever had two or three incidents where she got frustrated at other children.

But the rest of the time she would keep trying to show you over and over again – and as a parent that’s really upsetting when you find out your child’s been doing that. She’d be there with tears in her eyes, welling up, because she so desperately wanted everyone to know what she was saying.

She’d go into her own little shell: most of the time she’d play alongside other children, but not actually with them because she didn’t know how to tell them what she wanted to do.

As a parent, you do hit those low points where you think: are they ever going to get that speech or is she going to have to fumble her way through life?

She’d have several accidents at school because she couldn’t tell them she needed the toilet and she’s the sort of child that will not go unless she’s told that she can go. Or she wouldn’t do her school work – and it wasn’t because she didn’t want to, but because she couldn’t get the lid off the pen. It can bring a lot of frustration. It complicates so much when you take away someone’s speech.

Rachael and her daughter Freya-Rose

Rachael Kent

Rachael and her daughter Freya-Rose

Freya was diagnosed with a speech sound disorder, which means she knows what she wants to say, but her brain doesn’t send the right signals for her mouth to make the movements of different sounds.

The speech and language team said about getting her into groups to try and encourage speech through social interaction. She wasn’t allowed to attend after school clubs, because they said she needed 1-2-1 support and they didn’t have the staff to facilitate it.

I’d gone to Brownies and Guides when I was younger and had adored my time with them, so I approached our local Rainbow group and explained the whole situation. They hadn’t got any experience of someone that didn’t speak, but they were willing to learn.

The first time I took her, I asked them if they wanted me to stay and they said: ‘No, let’s see how she gets on.’ I made them some visuals and gave them a crash course in the signs Freya used and we’ve never looked back.

"It was the best feeling ever."

Rachael Kent

“It was the best feeling ever.”

The third week of Rainbows she came out with the biggest grin on her face. She dragged me to the door, pointed inside and she signed to me: ‘My friends.’

It was the best feeling ever. She had the odd friend outside of school but that was more because I was friends with their parents, not because they’d chosen to come and see her. She never really said ‘that’s my friend’ until she went to Rainbows. She couldn’t wait to put her uniform on each week.

Sometimes you can take children to groups and they’ll – for want of a better word – tolerate them if they’ve got any additional needs. I had that experience with her brother at a few groups we went to when he was growing up. But Freya just 100% belongs. The other girls walk in and she gets big hugs off everyone. If she’s looking unsure, someone is always there to grab her hand and take her to where she needs to be.

When Freya was about five, a speech and language specialist worked solidly with her, in addition to us and her school doing the speech and language sessions as well, and she slowly started saying two- or three-word sentences.

We kept building on that and then by the time she was six we were getting pretty much full sentences where you recognised at least 90% of the words that she was saying.

Freya-Rose is now eight and has been diagnosed with autism, a moderate intellectual disability, and PICA – in addition to her speech sound disorder.

She’s been in Brownie’s for 12 months, after finishing Rainbows, and completed all her interest badges within six months of being there. She’s absolutely flying.

She even went away for a full weekend with them and they set an entire chalet up with symbols for fridge, bedroom, etc.

"They’ve helped her confidence grow so much."

Rachael Kent

“They’ve helped her confidence grow so much.”

She had the best time and they’ve helped her confidence grow so much – she’s gone from being that girl who would just sit and smile at everybody to someone that, when questions are asked, her hand will go up and she’ll try to answer stuff.

This week she’s narrator number five in her school nativity. I saw two of the school staff and they said: ‘Wait until you see it, make sure you’ve got tissues because we sat and cried through the entire practice when she stood up there with a microphone and said her lines.’

She’s got four pages and a couple of sentences on each page to read out. She’s not 100% clear all of the time, but compared to where she was before, it’s just amazing.

To find out more about Girlguiding and each of its four sections: Rainbows, Brownies, Guides and Rangers, visit girlguiding.org.uk.

Rachael was interviewed by Natasha Hinde and her answers were edited for length and clarity. To take part in HuffPost UK’s My Story series, email uklife@huffpost.com

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Channel 4’s Train Your Baby Like A Dog Certainly Divided Viewers – So What Do You Think?

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