Category Archives: Life

Coital Alignment Technique: Why This Sex Position Reliably Gets Women Off

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You’ve probably heard of the orgasm gap: in heterosexual relationships, women statistically have fewer orgasms than men. Much can — and should! — be done to improve that, starting with a better understanding of what your partner needs to reliably get off. A good place to start is upgrading your go-to bedroom moves.

Take the missionary position, for example. You and your partner may count this classic sex position as a favorite because of the intimacy it provides, but sex therapists say one small tweak can take it from “good” to much, much better.

The “coital alignment technique,” aka CAT, is a modified version of missionary sex, where the man rides a little higher, sliding his body up an inch or two so that the base of the penis rubs against the woman’s clitoris.

Here’s a little visual aid:

The “coital alignment technique,” aka CAT.

Illustration by Isabella Carapella

The “coital alignment technique,” aka CAT.

In one study of women who were unable to orgasm from missionary sex, published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, those who learned the CAT reported a 56 percent increase in their orgasm frequency.

CAT is a game-changer because most women need a little clitoral stimulation to get off, said Megan Fleming, a New York City-based psychologist and sex therapist. Penetration alone doesn’t always do the trick.

“Roughly two-thirds of women don’t have an orgasm with penetration alone,” Fleming told HuffPost. “CAT offers direct pressure and rocking and grinding that gives women additional clitoral stimulation.”

So how do you assume the position, so to speak?

Sadie Allison, a sexologist and author of Ride ’Em Cowgirl! Sex Position Secrets for Better Bucking, gave us a rundown:

Start in the traditional missionary position, she said, with a small pillow under the woman’s hips, to give her some lift and support the pelvis angle.

“After you gently slide inside, shift your body up several inches, positioning yourself so your pelvis is directly on top of hers,” she said. “You should be higher up on her now, with your chest near her shoulders versus face-to-face. With this new alignment, your penis shaft is now providing pleasurable friction against her vulva and clitoris with every stroke.”

To up the ante, put a little more work into grinding, Allison said.

“While staying snug and pressed against her, grind and gyrate your pelvis in small circles against her vulva,” she said. “Try visualizing her clitoris as you press on it, and resist the temptation to lift off and thrust in and out. Just keep your penis snugly inside her, and find the rhythm she needs. ”

“You’ll know it’s working when you feel her holding you tighter and pulling you closer with her legs!” she added.

There’s an extra bonus for guys, too, outside of providing partners with intense pleasure, said Lori Buckley, a sex therapist and author of 21 Decisions for Great Sex and A Happy Relationship.

“An extra benefit is that this may also help men last longer since they don’t experience the same heightened arousal that fast, deep thrusting provides,” Buckley said.

Win-win. Now go get busy.

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Best Exercises For Depression Symptoms According To A New Review

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According to the leading mental health charity Mind, 1 in 5 people report experiencing a common mental health problem (like anxiety and depression) in any given week in England.

Additionally, the overall number of people reporting mental health problems has been rising in recent years. The number of people with common mental health problems went up by 45% between 1993 and 2023/24, in both men and women and suicide risk is at its highest for people in their 50′s.

Now, a new review by psycholologists from James Cook University has revealed that some exercises can be beneficial in tackling common mental health issues and the symptoms that come with them.

Exercises that help with anxiety and depression

Writing for The Conversation, the researchers said: “Exercise is effective at reducing both depression and anxiety. But there is some nuance. We found exercising had a high impact on depression symptoms, and a medium impact on anxiety, compared to staying inactive.

“The benefits were comparable to, and in some cases better than, more widely prescribed mental health treatments, including therapy and antidepressants. Importantly, we discovered who exercise helped most. Two groups showed the most improvement: adults aged 18 to 30 and women who had recently given birth.”

The researchers urge that all forms of exercise reduce symptoms but the most beneficial exercises for both anxiety and depression were aerobic exercises such as running, cycling or swimming.

“For depression, there were greater improvements when people exercised with others and were guided by a professional, such as a group fitness class.”

If exercise isn’t usually your kind of thing, the researchers assure that exercising once or twice a week had a similar effect on depression as exercising more frequently. And there didn’t seem to be a significant difference between exercising vigorously or at a low intensity – all were beneficial.

They add: “For people who are hesitant about medication, or facing long waits for therapy, supervised group exercise may be an effective alternative. It’s evidence-based, and you can start any time.”

You’ve got this.

Help and support:

  • Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
  • Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
  • CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
  • The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
  • Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.
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I Couldn’t Stop Wasting Time On Social Media. This 1 Trick Helped Me Win Back My Attention

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When this year started, I knew I had to make drastic changes… because my phone had taken over my life.

Screen time had skyrocketed. Humour circled around TikTok reactions. I found myself scrolling through waves of news horrors and memes before I was fully awake each day.

Enter the Brick, which has emerged as the go-to app for people looking to reset their relationships with their phones.

“Bricking” your phone has now become a verb for people to share the news that they are logging off and to tell others. I actually learned about “bricking” and “unbricking” myself through the loud declarations of other writers and influencers.

I was skeptical at first about whether an app blocker that costs over $50 could be worth it. But I had tried free ways of deleting social media apps and blocking them from my phone through features like Apple’s Screen Time or Android Digital Wellbeing, and they hadn’t worked because they are easy to bypass.

However, the Brick is a little square device that pairs with an app you download on your phone through a QR code. Once you connect your phone to your Brick, you can select which apps you need to block and for which hours of the day.

Then, the real test begins. You tap the physical Brick device with your phone to activate its app-blocking features – you need to touch the Brick again if you want to regain access to your blocked apps.

I was struck by how hard it was to leave the house for a whole day with a bricked phone. I even delayed using it at first because of this anxiety, which only strengthened my resolve that I probably needed to go through with this experiment.

So, after a day of too much scrolling, I put myself to the test and put my Brick on my fridge. Now, I would have to get up from the couch or get back home from work if I wanted to access that tantalising Reddit post.

I am happy to report that after more than a month of use, my brain feels different. I expected the strict enforcement of a Brick to change me – but even I was surprised by how much it did.

What you should know before you try a Brick

I stuck my Brick device on my fridge. Needing to walk 10 steps from my couch to unlock Instagram has curbed my scrolling habits.
I stuck my Brick device on my fridge. Needing to walk 10 steps from my couch to unlock Instagram has curbed my scrolling habits.

The Brick, available for iOS and Android, lets you set modes for “deep work” and “family time” hours, so bricking automatically happens during the natural rhythm of your day. It also keeps a running tally of how many hours you have been bricked each day, and on average, presumably to encourage you to stay strong and go a little longer without unbricking.

If you forget to use the Brick on your phone in your rush out the door, you can also Brick your device by pressing the Brick icon on the app’s homepage from where you are, but you will still need to go back to where your actual Brick is to unlock what you want to unlock.

What I loved about it

The first week I used it, I was surprised and embarrassed by how often my fingers would automatically tap the social media apps my Brick blocked me from accessing. My Brick bouncer would gently scold me whenever I tried to instinctively check Instagram or TikTok.

The app gives you five “emergency” unbricking workarounds if you really need to access an app you have blocked and you’re not near your Brick device, but I have yet to use one. Needing to use “emergency” unbricking to make an Instagram story about the Galentine’s party I attended really put into perspective what exactly I was doing with my one precious life.

The Brick challenged my belief that real-time social media feedback was necessary to stay connected with my friends or to be good at my job. In my opinion, this forced reflection is the Brick’s best benefit. I’ve missed a few direct messages from my friends, I’m not seeing as many funny TikTok memes anymore, and I’m out of the loop on some social media trends, but I feel more in control of what I am consuming. At the very least, I am paying more attention to how I spend my time on my phone.

What I think could be better — and why I’m sticking with my Brick

The Brick costs around $59 for one device. Though I find this little plastic box to be prohibitively expensive for what it is, I like that more than one person can use the same Brick, so you could theoretically get your roommate or partner to split the costs, too. I also like that once you buy it, you don’t need to pay a subscription fee to keep using it, unlike many other apps.

However, bricking yourself is not going to transform you completely.

Catherine Pearlman, a licensed clinical social worker and author of First Phone: A Child’s Guide to Digital Responsibility, Safety, and Etiquette, said the Brick is “a wonderful device,” but can’t be a long-term solution to endless social media scrolling on its own.

“Once you’re home [where your Brick is], the impulse still exists,” she told me. “So it doesn’t actually teach you how to work through that impulse to say…‘How do I really want to spend my time? How do I work through this emotion that I’m trying to avoid by scrolling?’”

Answering those questions is a bigger journey only you can answer. For Pearlman, it meant finding other ways to use her screen-free time.

“I knew I wasn’t going to stop using my phone, but I wanted to have an alternative,” she said as an example. “And then when the newspapers got too upsetting, I went to Kindle. So now I just read books in my Kindle, and I read eight books in January.”

If you want to get serious about blocking social media not just on your phone but on your computer as well (which your Brick cannot access), Pearlman suggested the free website blocker Cold Turkey.

As for me, I’m continuing to brick myself in the evenings, so that I can learn a new screen-free hobby of crochet. Just this past week, my phone screen time dropped 62% compared to the week before. Making loops of crochet rows with my hands feels more satisfying than the loops of TikToks I watched each night, but I don’t think I would have stuck with my new hobby without the Brick’s admonishments.

I’ve gone from my high of nine hours of daily screen time to a more reasonable five or six hours during a workday. I still have lapses where I will go a night without Bricking, but I feel much calmer when I do. When my head is not cluttered with the pulls of social media notifications and enticing Reels, I have time to figure out what I really want to do. And that’s a gift that I think is worth keeping.

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Doctor Shares How The Endless UK Rain Is Impacting Mental Health

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Not to be the most typical Brit possible but, can you believe the weather we’ve been having? Even by British weather standards, it is absolutely bloody miserable out there and I don’t think I can possibly stomach another day of rain.

Cold weather is my favourite, but rain? All the time? Come on, man. I miss having nice hair outdoors.

I know I’m not alone in this despair. In fact, depression-related searches in the UK have risen by 24% in the past month, with rainfall hitting the nation every day this year.

The Met Office says the bad weather is being caused by a “blocking pattern”, which is when high pressure sits over Scandinavia and stops normal weather systems from moving through the UK, leaving us stuck with ongoing unsettled conditions.

Give me strength.

Now, Dr Babak Ashrafi, from Superdrug Online Doctor, says this same blocking pattern may be having a psychological effect too, calling it the “Blocking Pattern Burnout”, highlighting why rain can have more detrimental impacts on our physical and mental health than any winter weather.

Dr Ashrafi says: “Cold weather doesn’t always mean a lower mood. Bright, crisp winter days are some of the loveliest, still providing lots of natural light which helps regulate our serotonin; the neurotransmitter closely linked to our mood.

“And even when temperatures are low, this natural light exposure supports the body’s circadian rhythm, helping to balance melatonin production and maintain energy levels.

“Rain is different mainly because it significantly reduces light intensity, sometimes by up to 80–90%! That drop in light exposure suppresses serotonin and will disrupt your body clock, leading to increased fatigue and lower mood.”

Over days and weeks, this results in what he has dubbed “Blocked Pattern Burnout”. The brain receives fewer environmental cues for alertness, reward and social engagement. People may begin to feel mentally flat, unmotivated and more socially withdrawn.

Sounds about right.

How to cope when it won’t stop raining

Thankfully, while we can’t control the weather, Dr Ashrafi assures that there are still some coping mechanisms we can make the most of.

Create a “Light Trigger Window” early in the day

Aim to get outside within the first hour of waking, even if it’s overcast. Cloudy daylight can still be up to 10 times brighter than indoor lighting. Morning light helps regulate serotonin, suppresses melatonin and stabilises your circadian rhythm, which supports mood and energy levels,

Replace lost movement with “Micro-Activation”

Persistent rain reduces quick activity like walking to lunch or running an errand. Instead of waiting for motivation or a reason, schedule small bursts of movement throughout the day, a 5-minute walk with your rain jacket on, standing during calls, or a short stretch break.

Increase brightness and contrast indoors

Overcast skies reduce overall light intensity and visual stimulation. Counter this by maximising indoor lighting, opening blinds fully, and working near windows where possible. Brighter environments help support alertness and regulate the body’s internal clock.

Protect small, consistent social contact

Rain often equals cancelled plans. Even brief interactions, a short coffee or a quick call are super important. Regular social contact remains one of the strongest protective factors for mental wellbeing.

Support mood biologically

Reduced sunlight can impact vitamin D levels, which are linked to mood regulation. Ensuring adequate vitamin D intake during darker months, alongside a balanced diet and regular sleep routine, can help buffer against weather-related dips in mood.

Remember, this is just a season and we’ll be complaining about the heat before you know it.

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The Best Scents To Use In The Bathroom For A Sensual Experience

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With fans already anticipating that bathtub scene between Benedict Bridgerton and Sophie Baek, sensual baths have quietly moved to the forefront of our collective imagination.

Set in a firelit room and framed as a moment of trust and vulnerability, the scene which appears in Julia Quinn’s Offer From a Gentleman and has already been teased in the Bridgerton season 4 part 2 trailer, taps into a growing appetite for intimacy that’s built through atmosphere rather than spectacle.

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With Valentine’s Day landing just days before the episode airs on February 26, it’s no surprise that many are thinking about how to recreate that same mood at home, and if you’re one of them, we have expert guidance on hand.

The most erotic candle scents for a sensual bath experience

Of course, when it comes to a sexy suds-y experience, scent is everything and with this in mind, we spoke with Archie MacDonald, Director of Highland Soap Co. to learn about which scents create the most romantic atmosphere.

He commented: “Fragrance is closely linked to emotion and memory, which is why scent can have such a strong effect on intimacy. It’s something people don’t always consciously think about, but whether you’re choosing a gift or simply trying to elevate an evening with your partner, scent plays a powerful role in shaping how a moment feels and how it’s remembered.”

This makes perfect sense. The power of smell to bring us to a different place, mood, even person is incredible.

The scent expert added: “Rose and patchouli have long been associated with intimacy because of the way they work together on a sensory level. Rose absolute brings a soft, delicate floral note that feels calming and comforting, while patchouli adds an earthy warmth that grounds the scent and gives it depth. The result is a fragrance that feels uplifting and soothing at the same time, creating an atmosphere that’s relaxed and sensual.

“Whether it’s through a scented candle in the home or a soap used as part of a daily routine, incorporating rose and patchouli into everyday moments can help create a sense of closeness and connection without needing anything overly elaborate.”

Brb, need to make my bathroom look and smell romantic AF.