The 6 Most Common Pieces Of Job Advice You Should Definitely Ignore

Everyone has opinions about how to get a good job and keep one, and it’s hard to figure out which pointers are actually helpful to follow.

What your well-meaning uncle, professor or manager says you need to do for your next job move may actually be disastrous to follow. To be savvy, you need to learn how to weed out the kernels of good career tips from the bad.

To help professionals avoid these mistakes, we asked career experts to share the worst, most common pieces of job advice you’re going to hear a lot in your life. Read on to learn why these boilerplate outlooks can hold you back and what alternative advice you should follow instead.

1. Only apply for jobs that you meet all the qualifications for.

Too often, women and people of color stop themselves from applying to jobs where they don't meet every qualification.

Graphicscoco via Getty Images

Too often, women and people of color stop themselves from applying to jobs where they don’t meet every qualification.

This is bad advice because job descriptions are not necessarily realistic and are often written as a “wish list” from the employer’s point of view, said Cynthia Pong, founder of Embrace Change, a career coaching and consulting firm.

“Many people, especially women of colour, people of colour, women in general and others from underrepresented backgrounds or with non-traditional career paths, may self-select out of applying because they don’t meet all the criteria listed,” she said.

Just because a job listing states a desired education requirement does not mean you actually need it. For example, in 2017, Accenture, Grads of Life and Harvard Business School conducted an analysis of 26 million job postings and 600 business and HR executive surveys. They found that 67% of the job postings required at least a bachelor’s degree, yet only 16% of employees who were already in those jobs held that degree. The findings are a reminder that many jobs do not require a college degree to succeed, despite what companies advertise.

Instead of taking yourself out of the running before you apply, Pong advised that it is better to “apply if you meet most key qualifications.”

If you have every skill and experience listed in the description, the job opportunity is likely a lateral career move. But if the role is going to push you beyond what you already know, that’s a sign of a good stretch opportunity, and that’s what actually helps you grow in your career.

One important caveat, though, is that a hiring manager is not going to automatically understand why your unique skill set makes you the best hire — you need to explain that to them.

Pong said job seekers should use the cover letter or other application materials “to connect the dots for the hiring manager as to how your past experience is transferable and will enable you to excel in the particular role, even though you may not check all the boxes for them.”

“As someone on the hiring side, I look at the overall qualities and growth potential that a person brings to the table more than their specific skill set, especially if the person demonstrates a strong ability to learn and teach themselves how to do new things,” she continued.

Even if you do not get the job, applying for the role puts you on an employer’s radar.

“If someone’s not a fit for a particular role, it’s a great opportunity to keep them in mind for another role or future work,” Pong said.

2. Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.

The message behind this common feel-good platitude is that passion alone will make the drudgery of work go away. But there’s no one correct way to feel about your job. It’s perfectly normal for a job to just be a paycheque that funds your life outside of it. Even dream jobs that are fulfilling and meaningful come with hard days, difficult deadlines and the potential for burnout.

Sometimes, the activity you love to do most is an unrealistic career. Don’t be guilted into monetising your passion hobby into your next side hustle just because you enjoy it. In some cases, it’s better to keep your ceramics hobby as a relaxing extracurricular than your next career.

As Gorick Ng, a career adviser at Harvard University and author of “The Unspoken Rules: Secrets to Starting Your Career Off Right,” previously told HuffPost, “Do you love the business of doing something as much as you love doing the thing itself? Not everyone will say yes to this question and that’s OK.”

It’s normal to want meaning and purpose in what you do for a living, but don’t put more pressure on your work to be more than work. Ng suggested rewriting the advice of “find a job you love” to say, “Find something that brings you joy and purpose every day, and you’ll always have something to look forward to.”

3. You should stay in a job at least a year for your resume.

Instead of sticking it out, it's better to prioritize your well-being and leave a job that is no longer serving you.

Xavier Lorenzo via Getty Images

Instead of sticking it out, it’s better to prioritize your well-being and leave a job that is no longer serving you.

There is an outdated assumption that the longer you stay at a job, the more reliable and responsible you seem to other employers.

Although some employers do judge “job-hoppers” as disloyal, there are many more who understand that a career at one company is unrealistic for people to achieve now in an unstable job market.

Harleny Vasquez, a career coach and university speaker, said she tried following the “stick it out” advice when she was starting her social work career.

“I remember feeling burnt out and unsatisfied, and the idea of sticking it out at one job only added to that frustration,” she said. “What’s more, I already had a history of job-hopping, so pivoting felt like I was breaking some unspoken rule and made me feel guilty.”

From that experience, Vasquez learned that “it’s OK to prioritise your happiness and growth. If a job isn’t fulfilling you, it’s perfectly fine to explore other options.”

“Don’t let guilt hold you back from finding a career path that truly fits you,” she added.

Having multiple jobs can actually make you a more desirable candidate.

“Employers now often look for candidates who have a range of experiences, have tackled various challenge and have a demonstrated ability to adapt to new environments and learn quickly,” said career coach and diversity consultant Ebony Joyce.

Instead of the outdated advice to stick it out, a more relevant and empowering approach is to actively manage your own career paths, Joyce said. To do that, she recommended embracing continuous learning and being open to training in new skills that are relevant to what you want to do.

“Regularly assess whether your current role aligns with your personal values and long-term career goals,” she said.

4. Make yourself indispensable.

The message behind this clichéd advice is that if you work hard to make an impact at your job, your company will reward your efforts and help you succeed. It can be comforting to believe, but arbitrary layoffs of talented individuals show the glaring problems with this viewpoint.

“I think that this advice makes us feel like we have some control over what companies decide to do when we absolutely do not [have control] if a company decides to eliminate a product or shut down a division or scale down a department,” career and leadership coach Phoebe Gavin previously told HuffPost. “They’re just going to do that.“

Instead of following the advice to “make yourself indispensable,” Gavin said employees should focus on building up their layoff resiliency. They can do this by building up their financial cushion and investing in their network, so that it’s easier to walk away from a role that’s not working for them.

“Humans are social creatures, we tend to share information and give the benefit of the doubt to folks that we know,” Gavin said. “And so if you have great skills, but you don’t have a great network, it is still going to be much more challenging for you to step into another role.”

5. Take on the extra work for the exposure.

Too often, professionals are asked to take on unpaid assignments or additional responsibilities outside of their role because it will supposedly be good for their career.

“These requests come with the promise of increasing experience or enhancing visibility, but what is often not considered is that the employee is often not given the institutional support to thrive,” said Cicely Horsham-Brathwaite, a career coach and licensed psychologist.

Horsham-Brathwaite said she’s been given this advice and has taken on extra work or roles without a title, but it did not help her career.

“I felt devalued and a bit resentful, and it impacted my ability to be as effective in the role,” she said.

Before accepting any task for exposure, you should have a “formal and financial acknowledgment of the role you are being asked to take on,” Horsham-Brathwaite said. “If the company is unwilling to do so, use this as an opportunity to find a role or organisation that sees your value.”

But take this advice on a case-by-case basis. Sometimes, doing something for exposure can actually help your career. If it can give you a new ally or a marketable skill that you want, it may be worth it.

Pong gave the example of someone being asked to lead a committee at work. The extra role would be additional, uncompensated work, but it would give this person access to meet certain influential people in the company and also build relationships with them. Working closely with these leaders could convert them into mentors who can later advocate on behalf of this employee.

“So if there were a significant likelihood of this kind of win in taking on the additional work, then it could well be worth it,” Pong said.

6. Wait for things to get better.

Don't just wait for work issues to sort themselves out.

AsiaVision via Getty Images

Don’t just wait for work issues to sort themselves out.

Nell Wulfhart, a decision coach who helps professionals get “unstuck,” said the bad advice she often sees clients take is to stay at a job when a work issue does not change because someone keeps promising it will.

Wulfhart shared the classic example of when a colleague quits and you’re asked to pick up their duties.

“‘It’s temporary,’ you’re told. ‘We’re going to hire a replacement ASAP,’ and then they don’t. And you just keep doing two jobs,” she said. “Whenever you ask when things are going to change, you’re told, ‘Change is coming, management is working on it.’”

Wulfhart said clients will often come to her to ask if they should quit their job because a promised reward, promotion or raise hasn’t arrived.

“They know that rationally it makes sense to quit, but there’s always a sense of hope that the people in charge will make good on their word, despite the lack of evidence to the contrary,” she said.

Instead of waiting around, Wulfhart said that it’s better “to look at what the company does, not listen to what they say.”

“Are they making a visible effort to hire that replacement, get you an assistant or give you a raise? Or are they just talking? Have you seen them make promises in the past and fulfil those promises or not?” she said. “Try ignoring the words for a while and observe actions instead ― you’ll have a lot more data with which to make your decision.”

Actions speak louder than words. One of the hardest yet most rewarding career lessons is knowing when enough is enough and when it’s time to move on.

Share Button

Feel Guilty For Staying Indoors On Sunny Days? You’re Probably Experiencing This

Picture the scene: I’ve spent the entire week dreaming of the weekend. I’m no party animal so all I have planned is books, baths, and home-cooked meals three times a day. Quiet, calm, heaven.

Only, when the weekend arrives, it’s sunny and warm. A rarity in Britain and even more so in my home in Scotland. I should go out. I should go to the park to read. I should see my friends. It’s SUNNY, what am I doing indoors!?

But I don’t want to. My plans involved solely being indoors, at home. Which I stick with as a plan but feel guilty all weekend for doing so, and I worry that I’m missing out.

Sound familiar?

Well, apparently, this is called ‘Sunshine Guilt’.

What is sunshine guilt?

According to Dr. Nadia Teymoorian, a psychologist from the Moment of Clarity Mental Health Center that spoke with Bustle, sunshine guilt is that regretful feeling that settles in whenever you stay inside on a nice day, and it can be especially upsetting if you assume everyone else is outside and living their best life.

Apparently this is more common with people that live in cold places such as Scotland and Ireland. That checks out.

However, mental health campaigner and broadcaster Neev Spencer spoke with The Metro and said that the issue could be that we’re watching people enjoy sunny days on social media and assuming they’re happier and having a better time than we are.

He said: “Always ground yourself in the knowledge that what you see isn’t always what you get. You may see your friends or colleagues having the “time of their lives” in the sunshine, but bear in mind that if that were truly the case, they might not have had the time to take quite so many carefully curated pictures for their Instagram stories. Being present will always be 100% cooler than not.”

Being present in the bath, reading a book, is better than taking selfies on the beach. Commit that to memory.

Share Button

The 1 Thing We Get Wrong When Making Iced Coffee At Home

Warmer days are nearing and for me, at least, this can only mean one thing: time for my daily iced coffee fix.

However, we’re in a cost of living crisis and as much as I would LOVE to treat myself to one every single day from my local coffee shop, I do have to *attempt* to be sensible at the moment.

This seemed simple enough. Add coffee, add ice, add milk, and yes, of course, a hint of syrup. It just didn’t taste like I expected it would. I wanted that delicious hit, that sweet slurp of caffeine to get my veins pumping but instead I just felt a bit more buzzed and my coffee was, well, watery.

It turns out that there is a right way to make iced coffee and according to the coffee masters at Matthew Algie, I’d actually missed a good few steps.

The best way to make iced coffee at home

Speaking to HuffPost UK, Frank Ubsdell, National Training & Innovation Manager, and Gosia Lendzioszek, Account Development Manager at Matthew Algie shared their tips for making a successful iced coffee at home.

The experts said that the order you add your ingredients in can make or break your drink.

“If you’re looking for that layered effect, you may want to add espresso last. However, while this can look beautiful, it might not mix well and become milky at the bottom but very strong at the first sip.”

Additionally, they said that hot espresso onto ice is a “common mistake” and yes, you guessed it, that was mine. They recommend making an espresso first and then making everything else, allowing it to cool. Add it after milk and ice so that it isn’t directly interacting with the ice and instead rests on top of your chosen milk.

They also warned against batch-making jugs of coffee the night before drinking it saying: “Many people batch make a jug of coffee the day before and let it cool in their fridge. This isn’t a good idea, as coffee is a product that is enjoyed best when freshly brewed.”

Finally, they crushed (get it?) my dreams when they said: “although crushed ice looks good, you should always opt for cubed ice as crushed dilutes the drink faster.”

That makes sense but what about the AESTHETIC?!

Share Button

The Cold Remedies Doctors Say You Shouldn’t Bother With

The average person catches two to four colds a year, which means most of us will suffer through roughly 200 colds in our lifetime.

With so many snotty struggles ahead of us each year, what remedies can we rely on to help us feel better fast? And do any of those viral cold cures we’ve seen online actually work?

That’s what we — Raj Punjabi and Noah Michelson, the co-hosts of HuffPost’s “Am I Doing It Wrong?” podcast — recently asked Dr. Natasha Bhuyan, a family physician and medical director of OneMedical.

“I have patients ask me all the time about [unusual] cold cures because they want to get better fast,” Dr. Bhuyan said. “One of the things I’ve heard about recently is garlic cloves up the nose. I think it’s this idea of garlic cloves acting as a decongestant. Garlic cloves up the nose can actually be really dangerous and can really irritate your nasal passages.”

Other unorthodox remedies she’s encountered involve an unexpected article of clothing.

“The other things I’ve heard about have always been related to socks,” she revealed. “One [“remedy”] is go to bed wearing wet socks. The other is put sliced up potatoes inside your socks and go to bed. It’s this thought that it’ll pull the cold virus into your feet and out of your body.”

Despite how popular these so-called “treatments” may be, there’s no evidence that any of them work.

“Some of these ‘remedies,’ at best, you laugh at them, but at worst, they can really be dangerous for people,” Dr. Bhuyan noted.

So how can we safely find some relief if we’ve been struck down by a nasty cold?

“The studies on vitamin C are pretty mixed,” Dr. Bhuyan said. “They’ve found that if you take vitamin C regularly, you might be able to reduce the duration of a cold by half a day. Does that mean that everybody should go out and start taking a vitamin C supplement? Not exactly, because even within those studies, they found there were differences on the optimal dose. Reaching for vitamin C at the first sign of a cold likely won’t help. Taking vitamin C regularly might help shorten a cold’s duration if you get a cold, but you see that’s couched in a lot of ‘ifs,’ and it might not be worth the bang for your buck.”

What about taking zinc?

“The zinc trials are not that great and the reason why is because zinc actually tastes pretty terrible,” Dr. Bhuyan said. “So, if you’re trying to do a trial and giving half the people zinc and half the people a placebo, the placebo group knows they have a placebo because we can’t make a compound that tastes as terrible as zinc.”

Zinc also comes with a lot of side effects.

“People can get nausea from taking zinc on an empty stomach. People can get upset stomachs. All of those things point to zinc coming with its own risks.”

However, it might actually help shorten a cold, even if only by a day or two.

“There are trials that show that if you take zinc at the first sign of a cough or a cold or you’re feeling a scratchy throat, [taking] 10 to 15 milligrams of zinc might reduce the duration of a cold,” Dr. Bhuyan said.

Dr. Bhuyan told us that if we want to try a particular remedy, it’s always a good idea to chat with our doctor first, and, ultimately, our best weapons to feel better when we have a cold are the simplest ones — and they’re both free.

“Water is helpful because it can help break up your mucus. Staying hydrated and giving yourself water is a good idea,” Dr. Bhuyan advised. “It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to stave off the cold or prevent the cold, but I tell people rest and fluids is really the key.”

We also chatted about what happens if we eat dairy when we have a cold, why a hot toddy might not be the best drink choice if we’re feeling under the weather, and much more.

After you’ve had a listen to the full episode above or wherever you get your podcasts, subscribe to “Am I Doing It Wrong?” so you don’t miss a single episode, including our investigations of the ins and outs of tipping, how to score the best deals on airline tickets, how to apologise or vanquish your credit card debt, how to find love online or overcome anxiety, online shopping, tips for taking care of your teeth, pooping like a pro, secrets to booking and staying in a hotel, how to deal with an angry person, cooking tips from celebrity chef Jet Tila, shocking laundry secrets. and more.

Need some help with something you’ve been doing wrong? Email us at AmIDoingItWrong@HuffPost.com, and we might investigate the topic in an upcoming episode.

Share Button

Here’s Why Muslims Fast During Ramadan

Ramadan takes place during the ninth month of the Muslim Calendar and is considered the most holy month for followers of Islam. It’s believed that during this month, the Holy Quran was descended from Heaven to Earth and during this month, the first revelations of the Quran were received by the Prophet.

This month brings practice of self-reflection, gratitude, and self-restraint in all Islam followers and throughout the month, observers undergo a fast and eat one meal before sunrise and another after sunset.

During fasting hours, many choose to break their fast with dates. Our own writer Unzela Khan Sheikh explained in a recent TikTok that this is because: “Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, used to break his fasts with dates and water. Whatever the prophet does, we call that Sunnah; something that is recommended because our prophet did it.”

Why do Muslims fast during Ramadan?

Fasting during Ramadan is one of the five pillars — or duties — of Islam, along with the testimony of faith, prayer, charitable giving, and making a pilgrimage to Mecca. All Muslims are required to take part every year, though there are special dispensations for those who are ill, pregnant or nursing, menstruating, or traveling, and for young children and the elderly.

According to Vox, fasting during Ramadan is one of the five pillars — or duties — of Islam, along with the testimony of faith, prayer, charitable giving, and making a pilgrimage to Mecca. All Muslims are required to take part every year, though there are special dispensations for those who are ill, pregnant or nursing, menstruating, or travelling, and for young children and the elderly.

This practice serves many purposes. It reminds you of your human frailty and your dependence on God for sustenance. It shows you what it’s like to be hungry and thirsty so that you feel compassion for, and a duty to help, the poor and the needy.

How to support Muslim friends during Ramadan

Portsmouth University recommends taking the following steps to support your friends during Ramadan:

  • Be considerate when making plans. Arrange to meet friends earlier in the day when they may still have energy from their dawn meal. Perhaps you could go for a walk, rather than meet for lunch? Being considerate of an adjusted timetable shows support and respect and can be a simple – yet appreciated – gesture
  • Check in on your Muslim friends. Checking in on your Muslim friends is always a great idea! Feel free to ask them how they are doing. Doing so will help your Muslim friends feel loved, supported, and seen
  • Don’t ask why someone isn’t fasting. There are many reasons – including medical – why someone may choose not to fast, and these reasons may be very personal. Those who are not able to fast may still choose to take part in other ways of worship
  • Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Ask how you can best help your friends to celebrate and practise their religion

Ramadan Mubarak to all Muslims!

Share Button

How To Keep Rats Out Of The Garden Without Killing Them This Spring

No offence to the little critters but for many gardeners, rats are really quite unwelcome visitors. Setting up little homes beneath decking, in sheds, greenhouses or even compost heaps means that they infiltrate the nooks and crannies of our gardens.

As they’re nocturnal, and quite skittish anyway, you’re unlikely to see a rat in the garden but signs such as rat tunnels, runs, droppings and even teeth marks can sprinkle throughout your treasured green space, letting you know that rats are living there.

The problem is, for many outdoorsy folk, killing them or poisoning them isn’t an option. I mean, of course. They’re just existing. But then, how do you get rid of them without harming them?

Thankfully, the experts at Gardeners’ World have some ideas to keep the rats at bay.

How to get rid of rats in my garden humanely

Instead of opting for rat traps, put the bird feeders away

If you have bird feeders hanging for local birds, you may be inadvertently attracting rats. This is because bird food being as small and light as it is, often falls to the ground and this attracts rats. For a while, stop filling bird feeders and if you have chickens, secure the run to deter rats.

One of the best rat repellents is simply… keeping your garden tidy

Messy gardens filled with clutter and overgrown areas are more likely to appeal to rats because of how much cover they provide. Give your garden a good tidy, especially near fences, and keep it today to deter rats.

Protect your compost heap and keep it moist

Avoid adding food scraps to your compost heap for a while and, if you can, keep it moist by including lots of greenery and mud. Gardeners’ World added: “Fixing chicken wire around the base of the bin can also help, as it prevents rats from being able to dig beneath the bin to climb inside.”

Block access to sheds and greenhouses

Rats can make their way into many small cracks, so make sure that your buildings are secured and block any gaps.

Move things around the garden to put them off coming back

Rats hate change and specifically change to their own territory. Move furniture, potted plants and anything else around your garden to encourage rats to find somewhere else to call home.

Finally, if you have any water sources such as a dripping tap that can be shut off, turn them off for a short while if you’ve exhausted all other options.

Share Button

4 Symptoms You May Not Realise Are Actually Signs Of Early Menopause

Half of the population will experience menopause at some point in their life but for younger people, it can be difficult to identify the symptoms, especially for early menopause.

Early menopause is when an individual’s periods stop before the age of 45, and it affects 5% of women.

Isla Telfer, co-founder of GLORIAH, a menopause focussed personal care brand that creates luxury products to help people manage the first signs of the menopause, said: “More and more people are entering menopause early. Whether it’s through surgical menopause, Primary Ovarian Insufficiency, Endometriosis, they share one thing in common – a lack of recognition by professionals, friends, family, and society.”

This is sadly unsurprising. Even for standard menopause, a massive 90% of workplaces have no formal support for women experiencing menopause, according to a recent report.

However, the earlier you can identify early menopause symptoms, the sooner you can get the treatment that you need.

What are the signs of early menopause?

Telfer and her business partner Jessica Watson shared the four crucial symptoms of early menopause.

Hot flashes

A sudden feeling of heat in the face, chest and neck, accompanied by chills and sweating profusely could be a hot flash — one of the most common symptoms of menopause.

This can also present as suddenly feeling cold in those same areas as well as feeling anxious and having an elevated heart rate.

Sleep problems

The founders say that insomnia, night sweats from hot flashes, and sleep apnoea can all play their part in causing sleep issues during menopause.

However, rest is essential for menopause, as it helps to alleviate other symptoms. The NHS recommends wearing light clothing and keeping your bedroom cool to help tackle sleep issues.

Mood and cognition changes

The founders urge that mood changes and increased anxiety can be symptoms of menopause. Additionally, if you’re having problems concentrating or remembering things, you may be entering early menopause. This is because the hormonal changes that come with menopause can affect both your physical and mental health.

A recent study from the University College London found that talking therapy, such as mindfulness, group and cognitive behaviour therapy, could help tackle mood changes caused by menopause.

Vaginal dryness

Experiencing vaginal dryness could be a symptom of menopause.

This is caused by a drop in oestrogen thinning the lining of the vagina and vulva tissue. Using a lubricant during sex and a good vaginal moisturiser day-to-day can help alleviate this painful symptom.

If you feel you may be entering early menopause, speak with your GP to discuss the treatment and support available to you.

Share Button

The 3 Major Reasons Why Women Get Much Worse Healthcare Than Men

Following a TikTok user pointing out that her partner received more aftercare following his vasectomy than she did after giving birth, Dr Karan Raj stepped in to explain why women are still getting the short straw when it comes to healthcare, and specifically pain relief.

Dr Raj said that this is down to a combination of systemic unconscious bias, a lack of research, as well as a failure to acknowledge biological differences in how women process pain.

All of that has led to pain being dismissed, misdiagnosed or undertreated which can have lethal consequences.

Love. That. For. Us.

Why women’s healthcare still falls behind

The surgeon added that despite advances in healthcare, women are diagnosed ‘significantly’ later across over 700 diseases and in some cases, such as endometriosis, waiting up to 10 years for diagnosis.

Frustratingly, he also revealed that sometimes, women’s pain is wrongly attributed to psycological causes and the word ‘hysteria’ was only removed from the American Psychiatric Association’s DSM classification.

Additionally, women’s health and specifically pain-focused research is less likely to be studied in clinical trials which makes effective treatment difficult to find.

He admitted that to this day, we don’t know how women metabolise and react to various pain medications or how women experience or manifest pain.

Finally, he said that because there are so many knowledge and gender gaps when it comes to women’s pain, “It’s imperative that we treat the pain the patient has, not the pain we think the patient should have.”

How to advocate for yourself at the doctors

According to the period health experts at Clue, these are the best ways to advocate for yourself at a doctor’s appointment:

  • Be prepared and assertive. Write a list of symptoms to discuss with your doctor and on the day, , give the doctor the facts about your symptoms and don’t downplay your symptoms
  • Ask questions. For example, if you don’t feel that your doctor has considered alternatives, simply say, “is there anything else it could be?”
  • Try to not be pressured into treatment that you don’t want to do. It’s normal to need a second opinion and listening to your own thoughts and feelings matters, too
  • Take notes at your appointment to ensure that you remember everything that’s said and can refer back to them in future appointments
Share Button

This Is What Your Bedtime Procrastination Is Doing To Your Sleep Quality

Do you ever find yourself putting off going to bed? It’s so strange, we complain about how tired we are all day, how much we’d love just a couple more hours in bed but when the time actually comes, suddenly there’s another episode we need to watch, another chapter to read, just one more scroll of social media.

We’re our own worst enemies.

According to Max Kirsten, Resident Sleep Expert for Panda London, this is actually something called ‘bedtime procrastination’ or ‘bedtime delay’ and it is the act of unnecessarily delaying going to bed despite having the intention to sleep.

What is bedtime procrastination and how do we overcome it?

According to Kirsten, there are several factors that contribute to bedtime procrastination:

Psychological factors

Kirsten warns that stress, anxiety, and mood disorders can contribute to bedtime procrastination. Even just the thought of facing another day, unresolved issues at work or home, can make bedtime seem daunting, prompting sleep delaying as a temporary distraction.

Poor time management

If you’re prone to procrastination throughout the day, that is likely to seep into your evening, warns Kirsten. This can lead to people postponing bedtime in favour of completing tasks or indulging in leisure activities.

Spending too much time with screens and technology

The convenience of phones and tablets means that it’s easier than ever to engage in stimulating activities late into the night. The blue light emitted from these screens can interfere with our sleep-wake cycle, making it harder to fall asleep, even once the devices have been put away.

How bedtime procrastination impacts our sleep

Disrupts the circadian rhythm

Kirsten warns that consistently delaying bedtime can disrupt the body’s internal clock, making it harder to fall asleep and wake up at the same time each day. This inconsistency can then lead to sleep disturbances and contribute to insomnia and sleep deprivation.

Poor sleep quality

Even if you do fall asleep after procrastinating, the quality of your sleep may be compromised. According to Kirsten, sleep that is fragmented or interrupted by frequent awakenings is less restorative and can leave individuals feeling groggy and unrefreshed upon waking.

Impact moods and mental health

Sleeping poorly can impact your mental health and emotional well-being, leading to irritability, mood swings, difficulty concentrating and heightened stress levels. Kirsten urges that over time, chronic sleep deprivation may contribute to the development or exacerbation of anxiety and depression.

How to stop procrastinating before bed

Make sure you have a consistent routine

Kirsten recommends that you establish a regular bedtime and wake-up time and ensure that you stick to it even on weekends as consistency helps to regulate the body’s internal clock and promotes better sleep quality.

Create a relaxing bedtime routine

Developing a calming bedtime routine signals to your body that it’s time to wind down. Kirsten recommends reading, taking a warm bath or trying some relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation.

Limit screen time before bed

Avoid using electric devices for at least an hour before bed, as the blue light emitted from them can interfere with melatonin production and disrupt sleep.

Address any underlying issues

If you feel that stress, anxiety, or mood disorders are the underlying cause of your procrastination, seek support from a mental health professional.

Help and support:

  • Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
  • Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
  • CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
  • The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
  • Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.
Share Button

I Can’t Un-Read Mary Berry’s Tomato-Less Tomato Soup Recipe From The 70s, So I’m Sharing It

Now, I am a Mary Berry STAN. I love her. I love her recipes, I love seeing her on TV and I stopped watching Bake Off when she left because, truly, what’s the point?

That being said, my vintage Mary Berry cookbook from the 70s is not always… perfect, shall we say.

Take, for example, the tomato soup that I found in there today. It’s a ‘summer’ tomato soup which means it’s eaten cold and not cooked but also… there are… no actual tomatoes that need to be chopped for this recipe?

I swear, I had to keep re-reading because I thought I’d missed a step but apparently I didn’t and neither did Mary herself because this is still an entire soup.

I can only put it down to the 70s being a little weird.

Mary Berry’s Tomato-Less Tomato Soup Recipe

So. If you’re feeling like a yoghurty gazpacho is on your bucket list, you may want to try this vintage recipe. It’s not for me personally but as Mary says in the recipe itself, “it’s very much a sophisticated taste” and what can I say? I’m an uncultured buffoon.

So, for this alternative tomato soup recipe, you’ll need:

  • 500ml of natural yoghurt
  • 500ml of tomato juice
  • The juice and grated rind of a lemon
  • 1/2 cucumber, cut into 5cm cubes
  • Salt
  • Ground black pepper
  • Worcester sauce
  • Cucumber slices for garnish

… Told you! No tomatoes! Juice tomato juice!

Then you simply:

  • Whisk together yoghurt and tomato juice
  • Stir in lemon juice, grated lemon rind and cucumber
  • Season well and add Worcester sauce
  • Serve chilled and garnished with thin slices of cucumber

This comes from a vintage cookbook of Mary’s from 1975: Beating The Cost Of Cooking and while I likely wouldn’t choose this meal, I’ll cherish this throwback cookbook forever.

Share Button