I’ve Been On A Weight Management Programme. Here’s Why It Didn’t Work.

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Studying Yourself

You can make a lot of interesting personal growth gains by studying yourself and your own responses instead of trying to follow someone else’s behavioral prescriptions. Studying yourself is especially useful in the areas of health and productivity habits.

What actually creates good results for you? Quite often you’ll find that what works best for you in real life won’t be found in any book or seminar. You can learn ideas from others to inspire your own experimentation, but you may get the best gains by assembling your own unique collection of behaviors and practices.

When doing self-experimentation, it’s important to protect your self-esteem from your behavioral results. Look at your behaviors and their effects separately, and honestly assess their impacts and results. Don’t wrap your self-esteem into the effects of your behaviors because problem behaviors can be changed. Beating yourself up for having a problematic behavior will only slow you down. Let the behavior be the problem you want to work on; don’t weave it into your self-image.

As I mentioned previously, I’ve been engaging in a detailed self-study of my diet for the past 7.5 weeks. I’m raising my awareness about what I’m actually eating and how different meals affect me. Based on what I’m learning, I’m making lots of micro-adjustments and doing small tweaks to optimize my eating habits.

The main part of this is food logging, which involves writing down everything I’m eating, so I can see the rational truth as it really is. Pen and paper is far superior to memory here. I also add up the calories to get a sense of how calorically dense each meal is.

This helps me do little experiments, such as seeing what happens if I eat 500, 700, or 1000 calories before noon. Is it better to have a lighter 300-calorie dinner or a denser 700-calorie one? What happens if I mix walnuts into my steel cut oats versus a little coconut oil versus not adding any fat? Soon I’ll test eliminating the oats and eating something else for breakfast, like roasted potatoes, onions, and peppers with zucchini hummus.

Later this month I also plan to start testing what happens if I go grain-free and legume-free at the same time. I’ve done grain-free and legume-free tests before, but I haven’t done both at the same time except while I was also eating 100% raw.

One result I pay attention to, which is partly subjective, is how my morning runs feel. Do I feel energetic or sluggish? Do I feel motivated or run, or do I feel like skipping more days? I can also check my pacing since my watch records that. I’ve learned, for instance, that if I have a relatively low-calorie day (like 1600-1700 calories), I’m likely to run slower and feel less energetic during an early morning run the next day. Skimping on calories just makes me feel less energetic.

I can also see that just the act of measuring and paying more attention to what I’m eating is making it very easy to lose weight. I’ve now dropped 10.8 pounds since I started on May 14. This seems like a very easy way to slim down. It’s really about paying attention, which leads to better choices.

I like that there are no rules with this approach. I’m just paying closer attention to some of my body’s responses, and I’m making refinements based on that.

Another side effect is that I’m enjoying good food more than ever.

I’m really loving peaches and typically eat a few each day now, as long as we have some ripe ones. I’m buying 24 of them at a time to make sure I don’t run out so quickly. Costco has been having some really amazing yellow peaches in stock lately. I’m also eating lots of blueberries, strawberries, apricots, broccoli, zucchini, yellow squash, bok choy, kale, mixed greens, celery, and spinach.

You can extend this kind of experimentation to other areas of life. This can lead to some real breakthroughs.

I love the way I generate income, which I arrived at through many years of experimentation. I enjoy the combination of doing launches a few times per year plus passive income streams in the background.

I also love having an unusual relationship. I don’t know of any other couples who relate to each other like Rachelle and I do. Our relationship is rich is laughter, cuddling, affection, playfulness, and sexiness. Even after 10+ years together, the relationship still feels spicy. To make that possible, we just had to go our own way and do what works for us.

Some people resist going off script to experiment because of judgment from other people. But improving your results is a good antidote to that. If someone complains that you’ve gone off the deep end, poke fun at them for only playing in the shallow end where all the kids are peeing. The deep end is where you’ll find better results.

If you’re really worried about other people’s approval, however, you’ll likely get more of it from the people you respect if you stop chasing approval from people you don’t respect. Why on earth would you respect someone who criticizes you for using the perfectly valid and rational tool of self-study?

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Spain Announces Second Local Lockdown In 24 Hours After Spike In Coronavirus Cases

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Hills

Since I live in a very hilly neighborhood, my morning runs are basically hill training. There are many routes I can run, but the main question for choosing a route is when to do the uphill and downhill portions.

If I do the uphill first, it’s harder starting out, but then the second half is a breeze, coasting downhill all the way home – often towards a beautiful sunrise.

If I do the downhill first, the first half hour is so nice and flowing, a lovely way to run on autopilot, but then I turn the corner and have a sweaty uphill climb to return home. During the summer months in Vegas, it’s typically 80-85º F (27-29º C) around 5am.

After many years of running these hills – I’ve lived in this neighborhood since 2007 – I realized that it doesn’t really matter when I do the hills. I could do them first or second, but either way I’ll still do them.

What matters is that I commit to the hills. If I don’t commit to the hills, I won’t run.

If I do the uphill first, this commitment needs to happen when I first start running. That’s a good approach for when I’m feel energetic and ready to face that hill early. I did that this morning, and it felt great to conquer the biggest nearby hill during the first half of my run, note the beautiful sunrise, and float downhill afterwards.

But when I’m not feeling as motivated, and I just want to start out a bit easier to build some momentum, I can do the downhill first. When I face the uphill portion 30 minutes later, I still have to do it to get home. So my next choice is this: I can run uphill while resisting the experience. I can run uphill while surrendering to the experience. Or I can run uphill while embracing the experience.

That’s the nature of an action commitment. Doing or not doing is already decided. You’re going to do it. You’ve committed your body to the task. You will take the action. That part is a done deal. Once I put on my running shoes, tackling some kind of hill is inevitable.

But there’s a second layer of commitment. Have you committed your mind too? If you grudgingly complete a task, I’d say you haven’t really committed your mind, so you’ll probably be fighting yourself internally – all the way up that hill.

Why tackle a hill each day? I could say there are some fitness benefits to running those hills, but I also like what these runs teach me about framing. The challenge reminds me to choose my mental commitment, not just my physical commitment. And this benefits me in other areas of life too.

There are plenty of unpleasant tasks in life, but if we’re going to physically do them anyway – sooner or later – doesn’t it make sense to mentally and emotionally commit to those tasks as well?

You could look upon your tasks with the attitude “yuck!” Or you could look upon them and say “yum!” Finding the yucky framing often happens by default, but it’s not the only framing you have available. Surely you could find a yummy framing if you look for it, and you only need one.

Where do you procrastinate on a task, but you still end up doing it anyway eventually? Maybe it’s doing your taxes. Maybe it’s dealing with a conflict at work. Maybe it’s handling a thorny relationship issue. What’s your hill of inevitability?

You could climb that hill now, or you could postpone and climb it later, but you will climb it eventually. You know it’s just a matter of time. And perhaps it doesn’t even matter that much when you finally do it – just that you eventually get it handled.

You can look up at that hill and hate it. You could look up at the hill and tolerate it. Or you could look up at the hill with some form of gratitude and appreciation. To do the latter takes practice – it’s a different level of commitment.

If you’re going to tackle that hill anyway eventually, why not get your mind right first, and truly commit to the experience, not just with action but also with attitude?

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Why Coronavirus Cases Are Spiking Around The World

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Healing Circles

As the coronavirus has moved into the homes of more people I know, I see a lot of fear energy being stirred up. People are frightened. Some are angry too, especially as they see others not taking the situation seriously or engaging in sociopathic anti-mask behavior.

I contrast this with what I see elsewhere from different groups of friends. They still get scared at first, but the process the fear energy and then frame the event more positively, often as a spiritual or personal challenge.

One positive way of dealing with such challenges is to engage in healing circles. Most are being done online these days. People who care about the person with the illness will hop on a Zoom call and send that person positive healing vibes. They hold the intention for the person to get well. They imagine the illness leaving the person’s body.

Whether you believe that healing vibes are real or not doesn’t actually matter. Look at this from a mental and emotional perspective rather than a spiritual perspective if you prefer. The person’s friends and family are reaching out to express their caring. They may even crack jokes and laugh to help raise the person’s spirits. This is known to be good for the immune system, and people with such support have higher recovery rates. So it’s still worth doing even if there are no actual vibes being transmitted. It’s hard to pick a frame in which a healing circle is a bad idea.

Within the hour Rachelle and I are going to participate in a healing circle call for a long-term friend of ours who’s dealing with stage IV cancer. These calls have been going for weeks, and the person’s doctor said to “keep doing whatever you’re doing because it’s working.” The cancer is apparently shrinking.

A healing circle is a simple add-on practice that doesn’t conflict with other remedies, so you can still do all the conventional treatments too.

If someone you know is dealing with a serious illness, whether coronavirus or something else, consider putting together a healing circle for that person. If it’s a long-term illness, perhaps do it once a week. It doesn’t have to be long – just 10-15 minutes each time could do a world of good.

You don’t even have to call it a healing circle. Use whatever frame you think would fit best within the person’s dominant mental models. You can call it anything from a prayer circle to a play date if you’d like. The label doesn’t matter. It’s just a chance to invite people who care to express their caring.

Imagine if you were the sick one. Would you appreciate having some friends and family hop on a call to focus on your health and well-being and to hold positive intentions with you and for you? Don’t you think that would have a positive effect on your recovery?

Come to think of it… maybe we ought to do more of this when we’re well. Nobody actually has to be sick to engage in an intention circle.

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Food Logging

If you’d like to raise your awareness about what you’re actually eating and how it affects you, food logging is a simple and effective way to do this.

Six weeks ago I decided to start keeping a log of everything I ate in a small notebook. I also keep track of calories. I wanted to raise my awareness of what I was eating and how calorically dense each meal was.

Computing the calories is easy. I use a small kitchen scale to weigh quantities of foods, and then I just ask a nearby smart device what the calories are. Usually Google or Alexa can give the correct response to a question like, “How many calories are in 200g of strawberries?” And if not then I can just look it up online.

Once I’ve already figured out the calories for a given meal, I don’t have to recalculate it, so this gets easier over time.

I know that some people use apps for this purpose. I prefer to use the small notebook and a pen.

I also don’t worry about perfection, so sometimes I just guesstimate calories, especially for water-rich veggies which don’t have many calories anyway. If I’m off by +/- 50 calories at the end of the day, that isn’t a big deal. I want to keep the tracking simple.

In the six weeks that I’ve been logging, I lost 8.2 pounds without really trying, so about 1.4 pounds per week. I felt no deprivation, didn’t skip meals, and always ate when I was hungry. I could tell that I was eating less food and making slightly different choices though.

The daily logging helped me see how satisfying each meal was relative to its calories. While calories alone aren’t a perfect measure, they’re a useful data point. Just seeing the calories connected to each meal and reflecting on my satisfaction after eating helped me make some simple changes.

I learned that large green smoothies don’t give me much enduring satisfaction. They’re tasty and I enjoy them, but the satiety doesn’t last long. It’s easy to make a 500+ calorie smoothie, drink it, and feel hungry an hour later. I might feel equally satisfied by eating two large peaches, which would only be 140 calories total. Or I’ll make a simple shake with a banana, 10g of walnuts, some maca powder, ice, and water for about 200 calories.

Similarly, I learned that I can easily make a 700-calorie salad, but I might actually be more satisfied with a bowl of brown rice and steamed broccoli for half the calories.

I’ve been eating far fewer bananas lately, probably just one per day on average. I’m eating a lot more peaches, strawberries, blueberries, apricots, and clementines. A couple of apricots makes a nice little snack for only 50 calories.

Peaches have been one of my favorite foods lately. A ripe peach or two is so delicious and satisfying relative to its calories. I’ve eaten as many as five in a day, which is still only 350 calories. I also love combinations like a bowl of sliced peach with strawberries or blueberries. Steel cut oats with peaches, blueberries, or strawberries is my most common breakfast these days.

I’ve also learned to be very conservative with oils and other fats, which can be nice for extra satiety by slowing the digestion of a meal. Adding 4-6g of coconut oil to a bowl of oatmeal adds 35-55 calories, but it makes the meal feel more satisfying. Same goes for adding 1 tsp of hemp seeds or 6-10g of walnuts to a modest smoothie or shake. A little bit of added fat here and there can be a nice addition, but it’s really easy to add extra fat to a meal and not make it any more satisfying.

I still eat salads often, but I greatly limit the sources of added fat like avocados and olive oil. In the past I would often have half of an avocado on a salad, and now I just have a quarter or skip the avocado entirely.

The tracking is super easy and doesn’t feel tedious at all. Actually I enjoy doing it because it’s an interesting learning experience. Doing this is a simple habit now, so I’ll continue doing for more weeks ahead as I keep learning how different trade-offs affect me.

Another thing I’ve learned from this is that I usually get hungrier on days when I don’t exercise. I go for a morning run 5-6 days per week, which burns 700-800 calories before breakfast, according to my Apple Watch. On those days I’ll typically eat around 2100 calories. But when I don’t exercise, I’m more likely to eat 2300-2400 calories. Again, I’m not trying to hold back on food intake, so I eat when I’m hungry. I just found it interesting that running in the morning doesn’t make me want or need more food; I actually feel satisfied with less on those days.

I’ve also learned that if I come in relatively low on calories one day, I’ll naturally want to eat more the next day. Having a lower calorie day will especially make me feel hungrier the next morning. So I haven’t seen any value in deliberately trying to cut calories by eating less.

Overall this experiment is helping me see that more food doesn’t necessarily mean more satiety. I actually feel more satisfied with my daily meals now than I did before this experiment, perhaps because I’m paying more attention to satisfaction and thinking about that when I prepare meals. I’ve also removed any potential justification for not eating when I’m hungry.

I’ve done a lot of different diet experiments over the years, including those involving raw foods, juicing, intermittent fasting, and water fasting, and this has to be the easiest one I’ve ever done. It would be no sweat to keep doing this for several months since it only takes a few extra minutes per day and doesn’t involve any kind of deprivation or sacrifice.

I’d recommend trying this for yourself for several weeks if you’d like to raise your awareness in this area and especially if you’d like to lose some weight with relative ease. Lately I’ve heard people saying that they’ve been gaining weight (against their wishes) while spending more time at home due to the coronavirus pandemic. This may be an easy way to counter that effect while also learning more about your body’s responses.

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Making Permanent Changes

You may often get stuck in cycles of temporarily upgrading some part of your life, only to watch that area decline when you stop giving it as much attention. People especially do this with their finances and their health. When the pressure to take action is strong enough, they’ll make some improvements, but once the immediacy subsides, they return to old habits –and the old results.

Partly this is a framing issue. If you really want to upgrade a certain area of your life and have the upgrade stick, it helps to frame your efforts as creating permanent changes. Adopt the mindset that you can never go back to the old way of doing things. Do your best to mentally and emotionally accept that the old path must permanently end, and you can never return to it again.

You might have a temporary upgrade phase and a long-term maintenance phase for certain changes, but the maintenance phase can’t be the same as the pre-upgrade phase if you want to lock in some permanent gains. Whatever you’re doing now that isn’t getting you the results you want – that particular collection of habits – has to die off and never see the light of day again.

For instance, if you’re considering a dietary change to improve your health, frame it as a permanent change. This framing makes it clear that you can never go back to the way you’re eating now. If you do, you’ll undo any results you gain. Look at your current eating habits and know you must leave them in the past and that they can never be part of your future.

That’s a hard realization to accept sometimes. The notion of making a permanent change may seem daunting enough, but you also have to accept that this means the absolute end of your current practices.

If you want to upgrade your health, your current health practices must end forever. If you want to upgrade your finances, your current financial practices must end forever. If you want to upgrade your social life, your current social practices must end forever. To usher in the new and make it stick, you must be willing to accept the death of the old.

Eating animal products is dead to me. It was part of my past, but I don’t expect to ever have it be part of my life again. When I went vegan in 1997, I began with a 30-day experiment, but I also leaned into the expectation that if those 30 days went well, there would be no going back. That helped the change stick.

Even if you frame something as a permanent change, you still retain the option to undo or modify that change later on. You’re still free to make fresh choices. But if you frame it as permanent from the beginning, it can help you invest more deeply in making the change stick. You can still begin with a 30-day challenge mindset to get started, while also using those 30 days to say goodbye to your old habits.

If you quit smoking, it would be best if you never ever touch a cigarette again in your entire life. The love affair with the old addiction has to die for a new life – and a new identity – to emerge.

There’s a certain sadness when we do this. I suggest that you accept the sadness and let yourself feel it. Go ahead and grieve if you feel some genuine loss. Let those feelings flow through you as you say goodbye to the old.

Say “thank you” to the old habits as well. Take stock of what you learned and how the old experiences helped you mature. Consider what you discovered about your character. At the very least, you may have learned to feel some compassion for those dealing with similar challenges. Being able to feel gratitude (instead of resentment) for the old life can make it easier to flow into permanent changes.

Framing your lifestyle and habit changes as permanent can help you bypass the yoyo phase, so you can make a change stick once you’ve gone through the effort to transition. And remember that a key part of this is to say a real goodbye to the old path and then to require that henceforth the old path may exist only in your memories.

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