Watch Out – This Pancake Making Mistake Can Cost You Hundreds

Posted on 21/02/2023 by Boris Clair

It’s Pancake Day, which means most people in the country will eat a pancake (or five) during some part of the day.

But there is one mistake you can make while preparing your meal that can end up costing you quite a lot of money.

If you’re like me and can never measure anything right (I still don’t know how to make the right amount of pasta for one), you’ll inevitably have some pancake batter leftover from your Pancake Day adventures.

And you might think nothing of pouring all of it down the kitchen sink. But that one mistake can cost you over £300 to fix.

According to plumbing experts at Rated People, pouring pancake mix down the drain can cause pipe bursts: “Pancake batter contains flour, fat and oil and this is a recipe for disaster when it comes to drains as it can quickly harden in pipes and lead to blockages and burst pipes which can be costly to repair.”

It can also cause complications in sewers, causing fatbergs to form in them. Fatbergs are formed when fat and grease combine with unflushable items (such as wet wipes and cotton buds), preventing water from going through.

Depending on how easy it is to access the pipe, the plumbing cost can be anywhere from £150 to £300, which is more than probably most of us may have bargained for while making pancakes.

“Leaking or fully burst pipes caused by increased pressure from blockages can cause damage to your property and possessions, which means fixing the broken pipework could only be part of the repair cost,” they say.

“Whether it’s a plastic or copper pipe, the solution will likely involve replacing the section of the pipe that’s damaged. Fixing a burst water pipe that’s easy to access will cost around £150, but with no visible access, the job is trickier and that can set you back by around £300 on average.”

So what can you do to avoid annihilating your drainage system when making pancakes? Some solutions include disposing the batter off in the food waste bin, freezing the batter to make it last for a good few months or making your own version of fish and chips takeaway.

And if none of this appeals to you, you can always turn the batter into Yorkshire pudding. At least it’s better than having to spend £300 in a cost of living crisis.

This 72-Hour No Phone Digital Detox Is Not For The Weak

Posted on 20/02/2023 by Boris Clair

72 hours without a phone. No constant messages from the WhatsApp group chat, no doom-scrolling on Instagram, and no spoilers on Twitter from last night’s Love Island episode. Sound like a dream come true? You might need to opt for a digital detox.

Unplugged is the UK’s original ‘off grid cabin’ escape which invites anyone who is a self-proclaimed busy body the ultimate break to switch off by embracing a ‘digital detox’ to help improve their overall well-being.

Let’s be honest, most of us are constantly connected, if not glued to digital devices, inundated with notifications, and stuck in the trend of being fashionably ‘busy’ all the time.

It’s ideal for people who are constant busybodies, workers, parents, and couples. Whilst at Unplugged, visitors will spend 72 hours without any screen time. Within that time, guests will reap the benefits of a true digital detox by improving problems associated with high screen time, such as brain fog, poor sleep quality and anxiety.

On arrival, guests will be asked to lock their digital devices, including mobile phones, in a lockbox for three days. These are then swapped for an old-school Nokia mobile (Snake included), a physical map to explore the scenic surroundings, and an instant camera with film.

Also within the cabins include; books, board games, and a functioning kitchen for cooking and dining with no WIFI available.

“What happens when you remove all distractions from the equation and truly switch off and relax? The result: a recharged mind, a clearer perspective, and a sense of calm that has been missing,” co-founder Hector Hughes says.

“50% of the adult UK population spend 11 hours a day behind the screen so we’re offering them a truly unique opportunity to spend less time distracted by their devices and give them the time to think, create & achieve.”

Unplugged currently have sixteen beautiful cabins around London and Manchester, with plans confirmed to expand this number to 50 in other UK locations by the end of 2023.

Can you give up all things digital for three days? You can book your digital detox here.

Are You A Giver Or A Taker? There Are Two Types Of Talkers, Researcher Suggests

Posted on 18/02/2023 by Boris Clair

We’ve all been stuck in conversations in which it feels like we’re talking to a wall.

“Why isn’t he asking me any questions?” we may grumble to ourselves. “Why are they forcing me to carry this conversation?” we may silently judge.

A recent essay from a researcher who studies conversations offers a fascinating possible answer as to why these frustrating interactions happen.

Post-doctoral research scholar Adam Mastroianni of Columbia Business School explained in an essay published on Substack that there are two types of conversationalists: You can be either a “giver” or a “taker,” and these types don’t always assume the best of each other.

“Givers think that conversations unfold as a series of invitations; takers think conversations unfold as a series of declarations. When giver meets giver or taker meets taker, all is well,” Mastroianni wrote. “When giver meets taker, however, giver gives, taker takes, and giver gets resentful (‘Why won’t he ask me a single question?’) while taker has a lovely time (‘She must really think I’m interesting!’) or gets annoyed (‘My job is so boring, why does she keep asking me about it?’).”

In other words, givers typically end up asking more questions in a conversation, because they believe that’s how to foster the best conversation, while takers believe it’s best to make more declarative statements to ramp up the conversation to its most interesting place.

How to really tell if you are a giver or a taker

Beyond the differences between inviting and declaring, there are other telltale signs that can help you determine if you are giving or taking.

One is how you feel when there are silences in a conversation, Mastroianni told HuffPost. “Givers feel like ‘Oh no, I’ve done something wrong,’” when there are conversational lulls, he said, while takers believe “someone should make something happen” and that that person is them.

Emily Rosado-Solomon, an assistant professor of management at Babson College who researches workplace communications, read the essay and said she buys Mastroianni’s explanation of givers and takers ― and whether or not you are a giver or taker could also be culturally specific, citing the late social psychologist Geert Hofstede’s research on individualism and collectivism.

“People from cultures with very low individualism are probably not going to be as likely to take the spotlight and talk about themselves; they are probably going to be more givers, whereas people from cultures with very high individualism are probably much more likely to talk about themselves,” she said.

Being a giver or a taker can matter a lot at your job

Once you start seeing conversations in terms of givers and takers, you can start to see how it matters in workplaces, too.

Rosado-Solomon said that because all of us carry different cultural perspectives, “What is most important in the workplace specifically is being ambidextrous so that you can communicate with people from different cultural backgrounds.” People have a universal need to feel seen.

She said she can switch between taking and giving styles at work depending on the needs of her conversation partner.

“If asking questions makes that person feel seen, then that is what I will do. I am genuinely curious about other people, which is why I spend my life studying people at work,” she said. “But at the same time, some people are uncomfortable with that, and it becomes an awkward interview inquisition and so I find that I try to switch then to more disclosure and sort of a taker style. And not necessarily intimate disclosure, just sort of taking the pressure off of them.”

Mastroianni said he also sees the giver-taker dynamic come into play when more junior employees are speaking with senior staff.

“Typically, if you’re in the low-power position, you’re going to have to be the one giving, because basically you have more of a reason to talk to the high-power person than the high-power person has to talk to you,” he said. “If you approach that interaction purely in the taking sense, then it might end very quickly. If you don’t invite their participation, they might go do something else, because it’s like, ‘OK we’re done here.’”

Of course, employees in positions of power should be aware of that dynamic and do more giving, too. That’s only fair.

Mastroianni said when he finds himself in the higher-status role, he knows “it’s very easy for me to just let them ask me questions.” He tries instead to take responsibility for keeping up the conversation by either asking the other person questions as well, or giving them something to respond to.

“Neither givers nor takers have it completely right.”

Mary Abbajay, president of Careerstone Group, a leadership development consultancy, agreed that it’s important for any leader to “learn to be a little bit more of a giver, which is really making sure that they are inviting conversation and then that they are listening.”

She noted that the givers-and-takers framework could also relate to how introverts and extroverts clash in the workplace.

“In meetings, the introverts tend to get talked over because the extroverts tend to be takers and they have rapid-fire conversation, but that doesn’t leave space for the introvert to respond,” she said. That’s why it’s important for work meetings to accommodate both styles and for leaders to be in charge of making that happen.

Could gender also play a role? When I asked Mastroianni, he noted he did not have empirical data on the question, but he said he would bet £100 that if people completed a giver-and-taker questionnaire, women would be more likely to be givers, and men would be takers.

“Part of that could be reflected in the power dynamics in society and part of that could be reflected in who do we take our cues from when we are growing up, and who do we learn from in terms of how to talk, who do we listen to.”

Abbajay said she believes women are more likely to be givers at their jobs as a survival mechanism to meet gendered giving expectations.

“Science and research shows that women are often talked over more in the workplace. They’re often mansplained. When you get mansplained, you’re not going to speak up very much,” she said. “I do think women tend to be more givers than takers, and I think a lot of that is based in gender bias in the workplace.”

Neither a giver or taker is inherently bad. But to be a more thoughtful speaker and listener, you need to be self-aware

Regardless of whether you think you have the heart of a giver or a taker, you can learn from the other side.

That’s because neither givers nor takers have it completely right. Takers misunderstand that their “declarations” aren’t guaranteed to be interesting, while givers misunderstand that asking questions is not always the most generous thing you can do in a conversation — and can, at times, be exhausting.

As Mastroianni put it in his essay, “It’s easy to remember how lonely it feels when a taker refuses to cede the spotlight to you, but easy to forget how lovely it feels when you don’t want the spotlight and a taker lets you recline on the mezzanine while they fill the stage.”

Both sides can learn to be aware of “conversational affordances,” he explained in the essay, which are opportunities to help keep the conversation moving forward in an exciting and engaging way.

In practice, for takers, this could mean they ask more questions that the other person would be actually interested to answer. That way, the conversation gets closer to the unexpected, interesting, fun and weird places of how someone really feels and thinks, he said.

And if you’re a giver who finds yourself being steamrolled by a taker, try toning down the questions and playing the taker’s game of responding, Mastroianni suggested. “Sometimes there are fun conversations that can be had that way, because you put less pressure on yourself to be like, ‘Oh, the conversation succeeds because I am pushing it.’”

Being a giver who starts to take more is a way to test the strength of your relationships, too.

“Give them the thing that they are giving. That’s what they deserve. Then you’ll be able to tell the difference between someone who intends to be a generous taker and someone who is a taker because they are selfish,” Mastroianni said.

And if a taker continuously keeps ignoring your cues to share, that may be your sign to leave the conversation “and speak to somebody else,” he added.

Here’s Everything You’ve Ever Wanted To Know About Squirting

Posted on 18/02/2023 by Boris Clair

There’s a whole lot of curiosity about squirting — in fact, “how to squirt” is one of the most-Googled sex queries, according to search data. This sexual act is still a bit of mystery, one that continues to flummox sex experts and regular people alike.

Here’s what we know: Squirting occurs when fluid is expelled through the urethra during sexual stimulation or orgasm. It’s sometimes referred to as “female ejaculation,” but it can happen to trans and non-binary people, too.

While many people use the terms squirting and female ejaculation interchangeably, some experts believe they are actually two distinct phenomena that produce different fluids. However, research on the subject is lacking, and the studies we do have involve very small sample sizes.

“What one source says is often contradicted by another,” sexuality educator Susan Milstein, co-author of “Human Sexuality: Making Informed Decisions,” told HuffPost.

Those who differentiate between the two say squirt is a large amount of clear liquid that is chemically similar — but not identical — to diluted urine (more on that later). Ejaculate, on the other hand, is a smaller quantity of a thicker, milky substance.

“Squirting involves fluid coming from the bladder. And female ejaculation involves fluid that comes from the Skene’s glands,” Milstein said. Also known as the “female prostate,” these glands are located near the opening of the urethra.

Female ejaculate has been found to contain a high concentration of prostate-specific antigen (PSA), while squirt may also contain PSA, but in a lower concentration. It’s worth noting that squirting and ejaculation can also happen simultaneously.

The release of fluid during female arousal or climax may be a fairly common occurrence. Some studies have put the prevalence at between 10% and 54% of women.

“We pee when we’re peeing, we squirt when we’re squirting, and sometimes we pee during sex. All separate events.”

– Luna Matatas, sex and pleasure educator

Sex therapist Nazanin Moali, host of the “Sexology” podcast, said she receives “tons of questions” about squirting from clients and listeners. They often fall into two camps.

“The first group of people idealise squirting and romanticise it as the only way to experience a deep satisfaction,“ Moali told HuffPost. “The other group includes women who feel embarrassed by it.” If it happens during sex, she said, they worry “their partner may assume they’re urinating.”

Sex experts address these common concerns, and others, below.

First off, squirting is not just peeing.

Let’s clear one thing up. Squirting may occur via the urethra — the tube that connects the bladder to the outside of the body — and the fluid may contain urine, but it’s not the same as urinating during sex.

“We pee when we’re peeing, we squirt when we’re squirting, and sometimes we pee during sex,” sex and pleasure educator Luna Matatas told HuffPost. “All separate events. I think the big concern is more about body and sexual shame than it is about squirting facts.”

Science “doesn’t center the pleasure of vulvas in research,” she added, “so we are way behind on understanding the pleasure anatomy and its functions.”

A sex toy reviewer who goes by the name Epiphora — and runs the blog Hey Epiphora — pointed to the studies that have found prostate-specific antigen in squirt, as well as her own experience with squirting, as evidence that it’s not “just urine,” as some claim.

“An army of vagina-owners, including myself, know the stuff they ejaculate does not look, smell or taste like pee,” she told HuffPost.

Squirting can feel good, but it’s not the be-all, end-all of sexual pleasure.

Despite what porn and other media might have you think, squirting is not a measure of how much a person enjoyed a given sexual activity.

“Some women may love the sex play, and yet never squirt,” Milstein said. “And some women may squirt every time they’re sexually aroused. That doesn’t mean that every time they have sex, it’s the best sex of their lives.”

Similarly, some people consider squirting “the pinnacle of sexuality,” said Moali. If they’re unable to do it, they feel like they’re missing out, their body is letting them down or their partner is falling short.

While squirting “can be pleasurable, it’s not a necessity for experiencing pleasure during sexual encounters,” Moali said. “If you’re interested in trying it, squirting can be fun. But if you’re not, your sex life can still be very hot.”

Nor do squirting and orgasms always go hand in hand. And when squirting orgasms do happen, they’re not necessarily more satisfying than other types of orgasms.

“Bombastic media coverage loves to claim that squirting equals bigger, better orgasms,” Epiphora said. “This is an insidious lie. Squirting is not a life requirement in any way, shape, or form. If you want to pursue it, great! Your sexual explorations should be dictated by you, not pressure from culture.”

Can you teach yourself to squirt?

There’s some disagreement as to whether you can learn how to squirt, Milstein said. However, if you have a vulva, you “can probably experience it with enough practice,” said Moali.

Again, squirting is by no means necessary for a fulfilling sex life, and you shouldn’t feel pressured — by a partner or yourself — to do it. However, if you’re interested in getting to know your body better and uncovering new sensations, read on. (Just know that not everyone enjoys the feeling, Epiphora noted.)

First, lay down a towel or sex blanket to prepare for any potential mess. Then, take a deep breath and relax. Our experts agreed that if you want to squirt, taking the stress out of the endeavor is essential. When you’re so focused on a particular outcome, it’s difficult to enjoy the experience.

“Stop trying so hard,” Matatas said. “Our body relies on our nervous system being in a receptive and relaxed state in order to open up the flow for arousal and for muscle contractions to happen. When we focus too hard on a goal like squirting or orgasm, it takes us into our heads and often results in more tension and less relaxation.”

Another tip? Slow things down and leave plenty of time for foreplay.

“People learning to squirt will want to allow at least half an hour to get fully turned on and stimulated,” Moali said.

Matatas recommended getting the body “super aroused” with 20 minutes or more of an activity you know you respond well to. That might be making out, watching porn or using sex toys.

Pay special attention to the G-spot; the erogenous zone located along the anterior vaginal wall is key for many people who squirt.

“Give G-spot-specific stimulation with a firm and curved G-spot sex toy,” Matatas said. “G-spots like firm and continuous stimulation, so rocking instead of thrusting might work better for building pleasure. Don’t hold your breath, remember to breathe, and notice any tension anywhere in the body. Take breaks if it is taking too long for you, and remember you can always try again.”

You may still find “mind-blowing pleasure” with these kinds of toys “even if you don’t actually squirt,” said Milstein.

You can also stimulate the G-spot by pressing with the fingers, Moali said.

“You can pinpoint the exact spot that you or your partner likes,” she said. “Plus, they are flexible enough to try different motions until you learn what your partner needs to squirt.”

“Your sexual explorations should be dictated by you, not pressure from culture.”

– Epiphora, sex toy reviewer and blogger at Hey Epiphora

When Epiphora squirted for the first time 15 years ago, it didn’t “just happen” to her — she “had to pursue it,” she said. She had read online that intense G-spot stimulation could lead to squirting and that the initial feeling would be like the one you get when you need to pee. One day, she was using a curved dildo when she felt that sensation and followed it, she said.

“I sped up, thrusting as quickly as I physically could, until a warm sensation washed over my vulva and fluid poured out of me. It was an intense moment. I was in awe,” Epiphora said. She credits sex toys with her “G-spot awakening,” which helped her enjoy penetration for the first time in her life. (The best sex toy for squirting, in her opinion? The njoy Pure Wand.)

Over time, squirting became easier for her to achieve. These days, her orgasms are “regularly accompanied by a small gush,” but “full-on squirting is a once-in-a-while thing” because it’s “too messy,” she said.

The G-spot may often be associated with squirting, but you don’t need to stimulate that area in order to squirt, Matatas said.

“You can stimulate other erogenous zones like nipples, anuses, lips, etc.,” she said. “Explore fuller body pleasure by giving attention to under-served erogenous zones like necks, scalps, thighs, bellies, backs.”

And while squirting can be an enjoyable addition to your sexual repertoire, “it may happen sometimes and not others,” Milstein said. “Or it may not happen at all.”

“Regardless, don’t let the focus on squirting get in the way of you enjoying what you’re doing,” she said.

The 8 Worst Things You Can Do At The Hairdressers Or Barbers

Posted on 18/02/2023 by Boris Clair

While you may feel pretty comfortable at your regular salon or barbershop, sometimes clients can get a little too comfortable, and the professionals with the scissors just wish people would, well, cut it out.

There are certain actions people might not realise are rude, but they have a major impact on the hairstylist’s ability to perform their job or the experience of other customers and staff members in the salon. They can even negatively impact the rest of the stylist’s day long after you exit the premises.

To help everyone better understand the most respectful way to behave while getting their hair done, we interviewed six long-time hair pros from salons around the country to ask about the rudest behaviours they regularly witness from their clients.

1. Arriving Late

Among the stylists polled, the No. 1 complaint was customer tardiness. “A single late customer can create a domino effect on a whole day’s work schedule,” explained Viktor Holas, who has been a barber for eight years and currently works at San Diego’s Wise Barber.

“This means that other clients will be forced to wait despite being there on time. It also puts more pressure on the stylist to work as fast as possible to restore the original timeline.”

Furthermore, “lateness can end up denying your hairdresser their usual 5 to 10 minutes of much-deserved rest in between cuts,” Holas said.

If you’re unexpectedly running late, call your salon as soon as possible to let them know. And when you arrive, be mindful of helping the remainder of the appointment go as smoothly and quickly as possible to avoid a backlog.

2. Talking On Your Phone

“There are levels to this,” noted 12-year industry pro Yvey Valcin, who heads up Seattle’s Yvey Salon. If the call is important, such as regarding your children or work, try to make it quick and keep your voice low. “But if it’s just a casual conversation,” Valcin added, “that is not very respectful.”

If you do have to make a quick phone call during your appointment, don’t ignore your stylist in the process. “If [you are] asked questions about your cut or styling, reply right away” added Olya Iudina, a stylist for 15 years who is with New York City’s IGK NYC.

3. Wasting Time During The Appointment

“After arriving 15 minutes late, a client had a phone conversation for 10 minutes. When they hung up, I had to tell them I no longer had time to cut their hair and they were furious,” recalled hairstylist Andrea Cottin, who has 13 years of experience and works at Portland, Oregon’s Propaganda The Salon.

If you have to interrupt your service to step away for an emergency phone call, don’t expect to “resume full service as if nothing happened,” said Justin Kafando, a New York-based barber with the Barber Surgeons Guild who has over 20 years of experience. To avoid delaying subsequent clients’ appointments, your stylist may have to rush or might not be able to complete the same services as if there were an uninterrupted appointment.

Keep still and as quiet as you can if you have to use your phone during an appointment.

4. Coming To Your Appointment Sick

Stylists agree they would rather a client call in sick than sit in their chair while spreading germs. In coming in contagious, you not only put your hairstylist at risk of getting sick, but the other stylists, clients and staff as well.

“If anyone contracts the same sickness, they’ll be forced to take a sick leave, and you’ll have unintentionally taken them out of business for a couple of days,” Holas said. “This also means canceling several days’ worth of appointments, which will be more inconvenient for us, and the clients affected by the cancellations.”

5. Disrespecting Salon Property

When you’re at a hair salon, you should behave as if you’re a guest in someone’s home, which means respecting their property. Ricardo Rojas, a hairstylist for 30 years who has owned four salons including Ricardo Rojas Salon in New York City, recalled a time shortly after the salon was redecorated with beautiful new chairs.

“[A client] was eating a piece of cake with her hands,” Rojas said. “She put the cake down directly on the silk chair so she could shake my hand. I was appalled.”

Another absolute no: Touching the stylist’s equipment without permission. “We take pride and really good care of our tools as they are expensive and must be in perfect shape to offer a perfect cut,” Kafando explained.

6. Moving Around And Not Sitting Still

The way you sit in the stylist’s chair can impact their ability to do their job. A major pet peeve for hair professionals is when clients are “getting up every two seconds to look in the mirror,” Kafando said. “We know your hair doesn’t look great unfinished. We are getting there!”

Furthermore, a client who is “sitting crooked or constantly having their head down can make it difficult to cut and colour the hair,” Cottin noted. If you’re looking down at your phone during your appointment, try to ensure that it doesn’t affect your posture in a way that’s detrimental to the stylist.

This isn't a hen party. Stylists prefer you to limit yourself to one of the complimentary alcoholic drinks. — This isn’t a hen party. Stylists prefer you to limit yourself to one of the complimentary alcoholic drinks.

7. Taking Advantage Of The Free Snacks And Drinks

Some salons provide complimentary refreshments such as coffee, tea, snacks or even alcoholic beverages. Of course, you may accept any refreshments you’re offered, but can you ask for refills? And is it OK to swing by the snack table more than once?

“More than one refill of alcoholic beverages is generally frowned upon,” Cottin advised.

“Refills aren’t usually on the initial budget and might end up being costly for your barber,” added Holas, who warned against “turning the refreshments corner into [your] own personal buffet.”

8. Not Being Prepared To Tip Everyone Who Served You

While cash tips are generally preferred, many salons offer alternatives if you don’t have bills handy such as money transfer apps, ATMs or tipping on a credit card. If you’re happy with the service you’ve received, the stylists polled agreed that 20% of the cost of service is an appropriate tip for your main stylist.

“You should tip your colourist, stylist and the assistants if they were helping wash or blow drying your hair,” noted Iudina.

This Popular Spanish Holiday Destination Really Doesn’t Want You To Visit It

Posted on 17/02/2023 by Boris Clair

We’re a few months away from summer which means it’s time to start planning our holiday getaways.

For most Brits, Spain is a popular holiday destination – it’s just a few hours on the plane, close to home and it has several beaches to choose from.

This is why you’ll be sad to know that there’s a list of Spanish hotspots that are trying to keep tourists away this year. Barcelona is part of the latest catalogue of Spanish destinations to publicly share that they’re receiving too many visitors and that they’re taking action to combat over-tourism.

Ada Colau, mayor of the city says that she wants to limit the number of cruise ships going to Barcelona.

This comes after a series of restrictions were introduced to ward off tourists visiting the city. This included restricting the number of hotel beds and new hotels opening in Barcelona.

The mayor has also campaigned for the scrapping of airport extension plans.

“The great challenge is tourism. Barcelona is a very densely populated city, hemmed in between the mountains and the sea, with restricted space,” Colau told The Times.

“We can’t take infinite numbers of tourists. There has to be a sense of limits and order.”

27 million people visit Barcelona each year – a number that is an eye-watering 16 times more people than its full-time population.

Deputy mayor Jaume Collboni has said Barcelona wants to attract “quality over quantity” when it comes to tourists visiting the city – meaning fewer people coming, but spending more money when they do visit.

Barcelona isn’t the only Spanish destination trying to change the type of tourists that it attracts. Majorca, Menorca, and Ibiza announced earlier this month how they’re planning to stop a high number of Brits visiting.

They will have an “absolute ceiling” when it comes to tourist numbers in the future, the government of the Balearic Islands says.

They will try and limit the impact of tourism by encouraging holidaymakers to visit at different times of the year, tourists chiefs say.

The Rudest Things People Can Say To Someone With Anxiety

Posted on 16/02/2023 by Boris Clair

People with anxiety tend to have persistent fear and worry about everyday situations. In most cases, these feelings are unwarranted — the result of considering “what ifs” that are unlikely to happen.

However, for those with anxiety, these concerns are very real and can be extremely distressing.

When someone comes to you with a worry they have, it’s important to know how to respond. But unfortunately, not many people know what to say in these situations, and they end up being unintentionally impolite.

“People say rude things to those with anxiety because they simply do not understand it, and society has not learned how to properly handle these conversations,” said Kelly McKenna, a licenced clinical social worker and anxiety expert.

“It might also make you feel uncomfortable when someone else shares their emotions and vulnerabilities with you, which could lead to comments that come off rudely.”

HuffPost spoke with a few therapists and mental health professionals to get insight on the impolite things you can tell someone with anxiety and why they aren’t helpful.

‘It’s All In Your Head – Stop Worrying So Much.’

Trust us when we say that the person with anxiety knows that it is in their head ― that’s one of the hardest parts. And those with anxiety can’t simply stop worrying so much. It’s not like they can flip a switch to make their anxiety magically disappear. If it was that easy, people wouldn’t feel so anxious all of the time.

“Although one might say this to help ease someone’s anxiety about a situation, it’s actually very dismissive and invalidating,” said Dr. Kristin Gill, a psychiatrist and the chief medical officer at Minded, an online psychiatry company designed for women. “It can come across like something is ‘wrong’ with the person experiencing anxiety and may cause more frustration.”

‘Calm Down’

Anyone with anxiety can tell you that they’ve been told to “calm down” before. (Trust us: If we could, we would.)

This kind of comment can be extremely invalidating, especially in moments of distress.

“It’s dismissive and communicates to the person experiencing anxiety that they are too much and are probably irritating whoever is saying this,” said Crystal Britt, a licensed clinical social worker and the founder of Get Psyched Therapy & Coaching. “Anxious people typically already feel like they’re burdening people, so this one just drives the point home.”

‘At Least You Don’t Have It As Bad As…’

You may be familiar with the saying “comparison is the root of all evil,” and a similar idea applies when talking about anxiety. While someone may not have the same set of issues as a friend or family member, that doesn’t make their problems any less valid — they are just different.

“Comparison to a perceived worse lived experience can belittle the emotional experience of the person you’re supporting,” said Leia Charnin, a licenced psychologist in North Carolina. “When comparisons like this are received, the listener may feel ashamed that they feel anxious. Thus, this feedback can make the receiver feel worse.”

‘Just Power Through It’

It can take a lot of courage to be vulnerable about anxiety with another person, and being met with this phrase can minimize what someone is actually going through.

“It’s not always possible to ‘power through it,’” Gill said. “Someone with a clinical anxiety disorder might not be able to get over it with the snap of a finger. They need support and encouragement to work through their anxiety and make steps towards progress.”

‘You Just Need To Sleep/Exercise/Pray More’

It’s true that sleeping and exercising may help improve symptoms associated with anxiety. However, when someone comes to you expressing concern and worry, this is one of the last things they want to hear.

“Listen, if one simple tweak in our day could fix our anxiety, we would have already done it,” Britt said. “This statement feels like a trump card, communicating that you’re done having a conversation about this. Mental health issues rarely have simple solutions.”

‘It’s Not A Big Deal’

While it may not seem like a big deal to you, the person feeling anxious would highly disagree. That’s one of the most challenging aspects about having anxiety — everything seems worrisome.

“‘It’s not that big of a deal’ is a form of emotional bypassing. While factually this response may make sense to the speaker, the receiver may feel ignored, misunderstood and even more alone,” Charnin said. “This type of message can unintentionally ignore what is important at that moment to the person with whom you’re speaking.”

Is Fancy ‘Viral’ Olive Oil Really Worth The Hype?

Posted on 16/02/2023 by Boris Clair

If you’ve spent any time on food TikTok or Instagram, you’ve likely noticed an onslaught of fancy olive oil brands, all featuring colourful, beautifully designed, photo-friendly bottles.

Influencers and social media-savvy chefs drizzle the golden liquid from these pretty containers on salads, meats, fish, hummus and much more, and their posts and videos make “status” olive oil seem like a necessary addition to any home cook’s arsenal.

But a bit of online searching will quickly show that on-trend olive oils (like Brightland, Graza, Fat Gold and other popular brands) command a higher retail price than the extra-virgin olive oil bottles sold at supermarkets (and a much higher price than the big under-the-sink olive oil vats sold at wholesale clubs like Costco).

This brand at Selfridges comes in at a whopping £126, while this aesthetically pleasing number will set you back £40.

So are these “fancy” olive oils worth the extra cash? When we asked professional chefs and olive oil experts to answer this question, they generally agreed that these oils are sometimes worth their splashy social media presence and their elevated cost.

That said, Christina McKeough, chef de cuisine of High Street in Philadelphia, pointed out that the “is it worth it?” question really comes down to personal preferences.

“Like any luxury product, it’s only worth it if you really want it, right?” McKeough asked. Shoppers need to remember that not all trendy oils are created equal and that a few important characteristics can help to determine whether hip olive oil brands qualify as smart purchases.

It’s up to shoppers to do a little research

When it comes to olive oils with a big social media presence, their (usually higher) price points can reflect a number of factors. According to Doug Psaltis, chef and co-owner of Andros Taverna in Chicago, shoppers should do a bit of digging to figure out exactly what they’re paying for.

“Are we buying the great packaging and marketing with inflated prices? I am not sure that price always correlates to quality. What would lead me to pay more for olive oil would be freshness ― a great raw product that is produced by great people with integrity,” Psaltis said.

In some cases, olive oil’s “viral” potential has more to do with its bottle’s aesthetic (and its ability to be marketed by influencers) than with its overall quality.

Lisa McManus, editor of America’s Test Kitchen Reviews, believes social media can encourage people to learn more about olive oil, which is a positive development: “If Instagram has gotten people interested in olive oil, that’s incredibly great.”

However, she advised against taking these Instagram or TikTok recommendations at face value, instead encouraging the olive-oil-curious among us to “take this opportunity to explore beyond the flashy promotional stuff.”

“Great olive oil does not necessarily come via the recommendations of Instagram stars. There are fantastic extra-virgin olive oil producers throughout California and the world who don’t have Instagram accounts,” she said, adding that “cute bottles and attractive promoters don’t translate automatically to great oil.”

‘Fancy olive oil can actually save you money’

Alexa Dombkoski, founder of Bellemille Extra Virgin Olive Oil, admits that “olive oil isn’t a very sexy product to sell, so putting it in Instagram-able packaging certainly helps.”

But she went on to explain that “with all the options on the market, you have to be able to distinguish between the pretty faces and the products that can stand on their own based on quality.”

Once you know what to look for and how to interpret the labels of the trendy viral olive oils out there (or the labels of your regular supermarket brands), then you’ll discover that, as Dombkoski said, “Fancy olive oil can actually save you money. It’s always best to use the highest quality ingredients across the board, but when that isn’t possible, you can lean on that fancy olive oil to add a little zip [to] ‘save’ the most basic or boring dish and bring it back to life.”

Essentially, Dombkoski believes that using a £30 olive oil made from olives harvested at their peak and cold-pressed for maximum flavor can balance out any negatives that come from purchasing a cheaper cut of meat or off-season produce. Also, because a little bit of olive oil goes a long way, spending more on a bottle gives you a high-quality product that can be used for countless recipes over the course of several months.

As the CEO and co-founder of Graza, one of the most ubiquitous “fancy” olive oil brands on social media these days, Andrew Benin acknowledges that “sometimes, when you are paying 38 bucks for 375 millilitres of olive oil, £9 of that is just to cover the cost of the fancy bottle.”

But in his view, olive oil that earns its higher price (and he counts the olive oil produced by Graza in this category) is “harvested and milled the right way, protected from light, never blended, [and] is a powerful flavour bomb.”

How to know if your pricey olive oil is worth the cash.

Chef Steven Jarczyk of Sfera Sicilian Street Food in Chicago recommends paying attention to what the label says about where and how it’s grown. “You have to start with beautiful olives,” he said. Psaltis also prioritises freshness: “[You should look for] a great raw product that is produced by great people with integrity. Are they choosing the best fruit to mill? Is the olive oil fresh and handled with care? I believe those are the most important factors that separate a good product from a great product.”

Dombkoski gave a clear breakdown of what to look for on a label: “Does it tell you where the oil comes from? Is that different than where the label says it was bottled? Is it blended with olive oil from somewhere else? A quality producer is going to want you to know where the olive oil is from, when it was produced, [and] how it was produced. The more information a brand is willing to volunteer about their production, the better off the consumer is to make an educated decision when purchasing olive oil.”

If you’re wondering what specific information you want to see, look out for the following before buying a new brand of olive oil:

“Extra virgin”: This term, commonly found on olive oil bottles, refers to oil that’s never been heated or treated with chemicals. Because the oil is cold pressed and unrefined, it retains more of the natural flavour of the olives and offers both aromatic notes and a smooth texture.
The phrases “single origin” and “single varietal”: “Single origin” means the olives used to make the oil are grown in the same location, while “single varietal” means only one type of olive is used. While blended olive oils aren’t inherently bad, there’s a lot more room for error in these bottles; different growing conditions and different olive types can clash and produce an oil with a less-than-smooth flavour profile. If your oil only includes one type of olive grown in the same place, then you’ll end up with a much higher rate of consistency.

Grown in Spain, Italy, Greece or California: Olives thrive in Mediterranean climates, so olive oils produced in actual Mediterranean countries benefit from the vibrant flavour of the olives grown there. In the U.S, Southern California’s Mediterranean-ish temperatures make this region the best area for domestic olive oil.

Make sure you’re using it for the right reasons

Some home cooks say olive oil (and especially “nicer” olive oils) shouldn’t be used for cooking, because the oil’s bright and mellow flavours can turn bitter and acrid. But our experts insist that, in the words of Dombkoski, “It is perfectly acceptable to cook with your fancy extra-virgin olive oil.” That said, Dombkoski warned that quality extra-virgin olive oil “will impart a distinct flavour into your dishes.” So if you don’t want to taste the grassy, botanical notes associated with olive oil, you may want to swap it out for a neutral-flavoured cooking oil like vegetable oil or canola oil.

To maximize the flavor potential of well-made olive oil, Ann Ziata, chef at the Institute of Culinary Education, suggests “using it as a finishing oil or a dressing oil rather than a cooking oil.”

“High-end olive oil will add great depth and richness when used as a seasoning, drizzled over pasta, vegetables or rice,” she added. “High-heat cooking like deep-frying or grilling may destroy the flavors of the oil, which are sensitive to heat, oxygen, and light.”

Mica Talmor, the chef and owner of Pomella in Oakland, California, likes to use olive oil for finishing, but she mentioned that “EVOO has very bold and distinct flavors, so I won’t use it if I want the dressing to have a specific flavor, like in a citrus vinaigrette or pomegranate vinaigrette. A less expensive neutral oil is much better for that.”

While lighter-weight neutral oils are a better bet for deep-frying and high-heat cooking, plenty of recipes still call for olive oil as a primary cooking fat, particularly when moderate or low stove or oven temperatures are involved. In these cases, “‘regular’ olive oils are still perfectly fine to use when cooking, and they have the added advantage of being extremely versatile and less expensive,” said Michael Murdy, the chef and food scientist behind the blog Robust Kitchen.

Check out the bottle itself (not just the label) before you buy

To get the best possible value out of a £30-plus bottle of olive oil, be sure to store the oil in conditions that will keep it fresh and flavourful for an extended period. “The enemies of olive oil are heat, air, light and time,” McManus said. “You want to keep it cool, covered, and tightly capped, away from heat and sunlight (so definitely do not store it next to your stove or in a window!).”

Michelle Spangler, the owner of Infused Oils & Vinegars in Dallas, said it’s also wise to “purchase oil that is packaged in dark glass or light-impermeable tins from a reputable dealer who has stored it in a temperature-controlled environment.” A darker container will prevent the oil from being affected by light.

Olive oil doesn’t “go bad” like other perishable groceries, but our experts generally agreed a bottle of “nice” olive oil will be at its best within six to nine months of opening. For optimal results, switch out your olive oil bottles at least that frequently.

Here’s When The UK Could See Snow And Freezing Temperatures… And It’s Soon

Posted on 16/02/2023 by Boris Clair

Just as we were beginning to enjoy spring’s sudden warmer temperatures, it looks like they’re about to be pulled out from under us.

The Met Office has issued an update about March’s weather here in the UK and there’s an ‘increasing probability’ of a cold snap arriving soon.

It’s all thanks to a sudden stratospheric warming (SSW) in which the Arctic’s high-altitude air warms up and pushes a ferocious mass of low-level polar air towards the UK.

From March 2 to 16 (right in time for Mother’s Day on March 17), the Met Office predicts: “Temperatures will likely be around or slightly above average for the whole period, with perhaps colder conditions relative to average more likely later in the period. There remains a small but increasing probability of much colder weather developing as we move further into March.”

Oh good – just as we were ready to pack away our winter layers for another year.

In a blog post the forecaster added that “the latest forecasts are showing that a major SSW is now likely to take place” but added that “it is important to remember that the occurrence of an SSW does not always equate to a ‘Beast from the East’ type scenario.”

Either way, things are about to get chilly in March – pass the thermals.

Should I Be Worried If My Cold Lasts Longer Than 2 Weeks?

Posted on 15/02/2023 by Boris Clair

The common cold can be pretty uncomfortable. If you have one, you are likely experiencing a combo of miserable symptoms like a sore throat, stuffy nose and body aches that can feel like they go on forever.

Although many of us managed to avoid some rough bugs in the last few years due to restrictions like masking and social distancing, that is no longer the case. More and more people are getting sick with non-COVID illnesses that sometimes stretch on for weeks.

“Colds usually last three to ten days, but in some instances, you may be experiencing symptoms for three to four weeks,” said Dr. R. Peter Manes, an otolaryngologist at Yale Medicine.

While it is totally normal for a cold to hang on longer than two weeks, there are some things you should be aware of to make sure the prolonged symptoms aren’t a sign of something more serious. Here’s what to know if your sickness just won’t go away:

First, test to make sure your cold is not a sign of another illness

“COVID-19, influenza and respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) all spread in similar ways and have symptoms that overlap with those of the common cold,” said Dr. John Swartzberg, a clinical professor emeritus at the University of California, Berkeley’s School of Public Health.

By the time people reach their teen years, they have a sense of what a typical cold feels like, Manes said. However, the symptoms can be conflated with other illnesses like COVID. It’s always best to test to see what you’ve got.

While most people are familiar with at-home COVID tests, there’s also an option to request at-home kits where you send your sample off to a lab to test for the flu and RSV along with COVID-19. You can also visit your doctor, who can run the tests for you.

Pay attention to your symptoms

If you’ve ruled out other infections but your symptoms are progressively getting worse, this could be unrelated to your cold, experts said.

For instance, symptoms like prolonged shortness of breath, wheezing or chest pain are not associated with a cold. “These could be a sign of an asthma attack, pneumonia, or in the case of chest pain, even a heart attack,” Manes said. If you have any of these signs, it is important to not dismiss them and to get medical attention immediately.

Even though the common cold is caused by viruses, another possibility is that you could be having a bacterial infection ― like pneumonia or sinusitis ― following your viral infection as the body can be transiently weakened by a cold, said Dr. Marwan Azar, an infectious diseases physician at Yale Medicine.

Individuals who are immunocompromised are likely to be predisposed to a secondary bacterial infection after going through a cold. See a physician if you have any associated symptoms of a bacterial infection, such as a cough with thick phlegm, significant facial pain or swelling, Azar recommended.

Pay attention to your symptoms and how they progress when you're sick. — Pay attention to your symptoms and how they progress when you’re sick.

A long cold could be because of lingering inflammation

“If you have ongoing cold symptoms, such as a recurring cough or an irritated throat for longer than two weeks, it’s generally not because of a persistent infection but due to consequences of lingering inflammation from a cleared infection, specifically postnasal drip,” Azar said.

Postnasal drip occurs when your body produces mucus in the nasal and sinus cavities during a head cold and it drips down the back of your throat, leading to a tickle that prompts coughing. It takes time for your immune system to flush out all the mucus, so you may experience lasting congestion for a couple of days or even a week after the virus is no longer in your system.

This can get worse at night as the mucus can drip down more easily in a horizontal position, Azar said.

You also may not be giving yourself enough time to recover

Your symptoms may not go away if you’re not giving them a chance to resolve. Adhering to your normal, busy schedule ― one filled with long work hours, housework, exercise or social activities ― can prolong your symptoms. Make sure you’re adequately resting, hydrating, getting enough sleep and more.

If that’s a struggle for you, find one thing you can cross off your to-do list, like nixing your weekly workouts or forgoing a few chores for an extra hour of sleep. You can also try over-the-counter medications to help abate your symptoms so you can give yourself the best chance to recover.

See your doctor ASAP if you’re still not improving

If you’re treating your cold properly and your symptoms haven’t improved after three weeks, see a doctor.

Symptoms like wheezing with shortness of breath, lingering high fever, severe sore throat, and a cough that brings up considerable mucus, can be a sign of something serious if experienced for an extended period of time, so it’s important to get medical attention, Swartzberg said.

Your physician will be able to order tests for other illnesses (if you haven’t tested already) and conduct a physical exam to understand the severity of your symptoms. If left untreated, your symptoms can cause further complications and infection, so you’ll want to have it checked out.