
I first saw the suggestion on TikTok, but it’s also on Instagram and X (formerly Twitter). In response to people who say they’d go vegan but love cheese too much to do so, plant-based creators have a simple response: “Then go vegan, except for cheese,” TikTokers like @Maggieeatsvegan advise.
Of course, cheese doesn’t actually fit into a vegan diet. But we know that eating more plant-based foods is good for both us and the planet, and that cutting down on meat and dairy consumption, but not eliminating it altogether, could still lower our bowel cancer risk and help us to meet sustainability goals.
“Vegan but cheese” might not feel like a 100% perfect answer. However, it’s a lot better than doing nothing.
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And speaking to HuffPost UK, BACP-certified therapists Susie Masterson and Eve Menzes Cunningham said there are lessons to be learned here when setting other goals, too.
“An all-or-nothing mindset is actually quite punitive”
Menzes Cunningham, who is vegan herself, said she “LOVES” the vegan but cheese theory as a way to approach personal goals. She added that a lot of her clients have an “all or nothing” mindset regarding their aspirations, which might actually hold them back.
“Focusing on… the direction you want to move in rather than [the] fraction of [your goal] that isn’t for you at the moment… is still a huge move,” she advised.
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For instance, the therapist explained, she ate food outside of her usual vegan diet a couple of Christmases ago. Menzes Cunningham said her younger self might have gone back to eating meat, having seen this apparent “lapse” as a total failure – but accepting it as a “human” mistake made returning to her established eating habits easier.
Masterson agreed, saying: “Goal setting is less about achieving an outcome and more about the process of working towards something. Anticipation and quests produce dopamine, which helps us feel good about ourselves and keep[s us] motivated”.
She called our obsession with perfection quite “punitive”, adding: “I’ve met so many people who have goals: marathon, house, kids, and they feel empty.
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“Because the goals don’t mean anything to them. They were for other people or for social media. Goals are not stamps to collect.”
Being kinder to yourself could make you more resilient
A review of studies previously found that self-compassion – treating yourself as you would a friend – is linked to more success and better relationships.
Menzes Cunningham says she often reminds clients of toddlers, who naturally want to grow and improve without being yelled at to crawl or walk, when advising them on how to engage with self-talk.
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“Remind yourself that you’re human, notice what else is going on in your life, see what additional supports you might be able to put in place” when aiming for a goal, she said.
“Recognise that progress is soooo much better than perfection (which doesn’t exist!)”.
Masterson, meanwhile, ended: “Scientists don’t fail; they learn and pivot. In sports we get injured, but that doesn’t mean we stop training or conditioning.
“I always recommend setting intentions rather than goals. To find a rhythm and practice that enhances our lives, rather than constantly looking for another peak to climb.”
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