Category Archives: Life

Pilates Was Designed For Everyone – So Why Doesn’t It Feel That Way Anymore?

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TikTok user @succulentaddict8′s comments about pilates have not gone down well.

“If you’re 200lbs, you shouldn’t be in a pilates class,” she said in a recent (now-deleted) video, adding, “you shouldn’t be allowed to be a pilates instructor if you have a gut.”

Though the creator has since apologised for the cruel comments in a video she has also now deleted, some creators feel the damage is done.

Personal trainer Court responded, “There are so many people on this Earth who are so fearful of going into the gym and starting their fitness journey because of people like that.”

But it’s not the first controversy about who “should” go to pilates this year.

“SkinnyTok” influencer Toni Fine suggested Black women attending the classes are doing so to get “proximity to whiteness,” despite (among a million other problems people have raised with that statement) a Black woman, Kathy Stanford Grant, having essentially introduced the activity to America.

What is it about pilates in particular that seems to evoke such strong images of exclusivity, thinness, and wealth in some people’s minds (think the ‘Pilates Princess’ archetype)?

And how did we get here from Joseph Pilates’ original mission – to provide gentle, safe exercises for all?

Joseph Pilates himself was a sickly kid

The inventor of what were once 34 “official” moves started life with various ailments like asthma, rickets, and rheumatic fever.

He became inspired by disciplines like yoga and the poses of animals like cats to work on his exercises, with which he would rehabilitate injured prisoners of war interned with him and the rest of the circus troupe he’d been a part of on the Isle of Wight in World War I.

He was later asked to train the military police in Germany, but sensing the sinister potential of the request (this was in the late 1920s), Pilates went to America instead.

There, his Universal Reformer machine and exercises (originally called “contrology”) became a hit through his books and the help of pioneers like Kathy Stanford Grant.

Slate writes that until the early ’00s, pilates classes had been a slightly “grimy,” mid-price group activity, not particularly associated in the British or American mind with one group over another.

So… how did pilates become “exclusive”?

After some very conscious rebranding from various companies, Slate adds, pilates faced an “aesthetic gentrification” similar to yoga, whose gentle flow aspirational TikTokers are now more likely to praise as “hormone-balancing.”

After COVID, costs ballooned further; a Reformer class by me costs £60 a session, or £250 a month.

But it’s not just straight-up added expenses. Vogue Business also identified the “Pilates Princess” subgroup as a “growing consumer group of affluent women, willing to invest in athleisure, wellness and beauty.”

The hashtag #pinkpilatesprincess, which took off in 2023, is linked to pricey brands like Lululemon and Alo, they add. “Brands engaging them are winning big.”

But I can’t help but feel that image largely exists online (and possibly in the £600 studios neither I nor most of us would ever venture into anyway).

A #pinkpilatesprincess video with over a million views is filled with commenters envious of the creators’ highly curated home and unrealistically pretty lifestyle; none seemed to think it reflected their reality.

In turn, I don’t pay £600 for my pilates classes. I sweat in a group of about 30 other people in a dark, definitely Reformer machine-free room at my local PureGym.

Most people are not the “snobby mean Pilates girl” you may believe is common online. Every pilates instructor I reached out to about the 200lbs comment had some variation of “WTF?” to say about the statement.

The backlash to the TikToker who first posted it has been monumental, too.

And Pilates itself, in its truest form, isn’t about excluding, competing with, or making fun of, anyone, either – the sooner we remember that, the better.

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‘I Stopped Splitting Rent With My Husband After 1 Sentence From My Mother-In-Law. Did I Overreact?

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Cheating isn’t just limited to romantic partners, experts say – “financial infidelity,” or lying about or concealing money-related issues, can sting just as much.

It can take the form of fibbing about debt, secret spending, and even lying about your secret wealth.

It seems Redditor u/Hexylpuff is going through the latter struggle.

Writing to r/AITAH (Am I The Asshole Here), the 31-year-old asked: “AITAH for finding out I’ve been unknowingly paying rent to my husband and his mom for TWO YEARS?”

So, we spoke to William “Bill” London, a divorce attorney and partner at Kimura London & White LLP, about how to talk money with your spouse.

The couple have been married for two years

The original poster (OP) says she married her husband “Brian” two years ago.

The pair moved into a flat supposedly rented at a discount from a “family friend” after their wedding, and have always split bills evenly. This includes both rent and utilities.

For the poster, this costs about £530 a month (admittedly an amazing deal for a rental).

But OP says that at a barbecue recently, she overheard her mother-in-law say, “It’s nice getting rent from Brian’s place” and “how smart they were to keep it in the family.”

On confronting her husband, OP says she found out her mother-in-law owned the flat and that Brian’s name is also on the papers.

“He never told me. Just let me keep paying rent for two years like a clueless roommate,” she shares.

Apparently, he never told her because “she never asked.” Her husband said she was “overreacting” because the “rent” was so reasonable.

But the poster feels blindsided, saying, “It’s not just the money, it’s the secrecy.”

She ends: “I told him I won’t keep paying until we talk about a fair setup. Now he’s acting like I’m the problem.”

“It crosses the line from privacy to deception”

London tells HuffPost UK that financial strain ends more marriages than most of us realise.

“While every couple sets their own financial boundaries, I believe that in a marriage – especially one involving shared expenses – full financial transparency is not just healthy, it’s essential,” he adds.

In this case, the lawyer thinks that, “When a partner consciously misrepresents important fiscal information to the other, as by pretending to have non-existent housing costs, it crosses the line from privacy to deception.”

This can destroy the trust needed for a healthy marriage, he continues.

“Married couples are expected to be transparent about important financial information,” he advises.

“This doesn’t mean total merging of their finances or the disclosure of all trivial expenses, but hiding ownership of a mortgage-free property and asking a spouse to share in imaginary financial burdens is manipulative behaviour needing a direct confrontation.”

In other words, OP hit the nail on the head when she said the money isn’t the main issue – it’s about respect, trust, and honesty.

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“Tastes Like Stomach Bile And Feet” – These Are The 6 Dishes That People Think Are Overrated

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I tried Dubai chocolate last week.

It was fine. Just fine. I love pistachios, I love chocolate and the combination was delicious but was it worth the £10 my friend and I spent on it? Absolutely not. I wasn’t thinking about it for days afterwards, I wasn’t in awe.

Its not like I’m hard to please, either. My favourite snack is carrot sticks dipped in hummous – we keep it real simple around here!

This kind of disappointment is common. So common, in fact, that when Reddit user Fly-Astronaut asked the /r/Cooking community what the most overrated dishes they’d tried were, over 3,000 people raced to respond.

Marry Me Chicken

Zyx-Darkshine says: “I want a divorce. I’ve moved on. I’ve been having an affair with Chicken Cacciatore anyway, but you already know that.”

CONTROVERSIAL. Marry Me Chicken, a tuscan-inspired chicken dish has been a social media sensation since as early as 2016.

Jkfromjh adds: “I made it once, it was good, but I don’t feel tempted to make it again anytime soon. TBH, the only reason I made it was because I had some heavy cream in the fridge and wanted to use it up before it went bad.

“I don’t think its revolutionary or anything, and its hard for a recipe with heavy cream, tomato, and spices to really taste bad.”

Honestly, this has just made me want it more.

Beef wellington

Listen, I love beef wellington but would I ever cook it at home? Nope. Boring.

MrEvil1979 agrees: “I mean it was nice, but not ’slaving around in the kitchen for 6 hours” nice.

“Much rather smoke meat, aka drink beer for 4 hours in the sunshine.”

Amen to that.

Baked feta and tomato pasta

Remember this pasta? It was HUGE on TikTok during lockdown. You simply filled an oven dish with tomatoes, added a block of feta and some herbs and then baked for around 20 minutes.

Once ready, the tomatoes and feta make a delicious pasta sauce. I LOVED it.

SunGlobal2744, however, did not. They say: “It was sooo tangy. I absolutely couldn’t eat it.”

8edibles adds: “Tastes like stomach bile and feet. I absolutely love all the ingredients…but prepared like that? No thanks💀”

If you feel similarly, I really recommend using Boursin in place of the feta. Delicious.

Macarons

101bees says: “They’re just okay. No right being as overpriced as they are usually.”

MissSassiFras1977 adds: “As a baker I have to agree 100%.

“I think it is more about achieving a cute, little, pain in the ass to execute cookie than anything…..”

I agree. Plus, the texture is not the one.

Chicken parmesan

Flowerfoxcanyounot says: “Chicken parmesan. It’s just dry, breaded chicken made soggy with marinara with mozzarella on top. Even if the chicken is made well and stays juicy, it’s still ruined by marinara soggy breading and cooling melted mozzarella.”

Hard. Agree.

Basic_Ask replies: “I like chicken parm, and can’t disagree with you.”

Steak

Already, I agree. I like a good steak but if one food can be called overrated, it’s this.

Previous_Bed_6586 says: “Don’t get me wrong, it’s delicious. It’s also extremely easy to make an equally delicious steak at home for a fraction of the price. I just can’t justify going to a restaurant for it.”

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Dementia Is The UK’s Leading Cause Of Death, But How Does It Actually Kill?

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Dementia has been the leading cause of death in England and Wales for years now, with Dementia UK adding that more people die from dementia in the UK overall than of any other condition.

Still, a 2017 YouGov poll found that roughly half of us have no idea that dementia, which kills about 55 million people worldwide, can be a direct cause of death.

That means the dementia itself leads to their death.

So, we spoke to Simon Wheeler, Senior Knowledge Officer at Alzheimer’s Society, about how dementia actually kills.

“Dementia is a terminal condition”

Speaking to HuffPost UK, Wheeler explains: “Around 1 in 3 people born today will develop dementia. It’s the UK’s biggest killer, but many people don’t understand why.

“It shortens a person’s life by several years if they are already old, and potentially by several decades if they have young-onset dementia,” he continues.

One of the ways it does this is by diminishing a person’s ability to perform the essential skills and bodily functions that are needed to stay well.

“At first, these changes are mainly cognitive – for example, not remembering to take medicines or not being able to react to dangers around the house or outside,” Wheeler tells us.

“If they need surgery for other health problems, their dementia can make these procedures more challenging and recovery more difficult. This is why people with dementia tend to have much worse outcomes when they have to go to hospital.”

The later stages of dementia have more physical effects

“As the condition progresses to its later stages, its effects become more physical as the parts of the brain involved in eating, swallowing, moving, and communicating become severely damaged,” the expert adds.

That’s when people with dementia tend to notice physical, as well as cognitive, changes.

“They become increasingly frail,” Wheeler explains.

“Injuries and infections become more difficult to recover from. Eventually, an illness or other event happens that they can’t recover from and this is what ultimately causes the person to die.

“There is the near cause of death, such as pneumonia, and then there is the underlying condition that has resulted in the person being in such a frail and vulnerable condition – this is what dementia does.”

Early intervention still matters

More than half of those with suspected dementia wait for over a year to get a diagnosis.

But the NHS says that’s not ideal, because “an accurate early, or timely, diagnosis of dementia can have many benefits.”

These include getting the right support, getting access to treatments that can make your symptoms easier to manage and slow down the progress of the disease, and giving you more time to plan.

If you’re worried about yourself or someone close to you, speak to your GP.

You can also check your symptoms using Alzheimer’s Society’s symptom checklist or call the Dementia Support Line on 0333 150 3456.

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‘Unami Is Your Daddy’ – Home Cooks Reveal Their Secrets To Resaturant-Style Dishes

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When you get into taking home cooking seriously, suddenly you are speaking about the joys of a ‘good, fresh lemon’, and having minor meltdowns over running out of onions – “but we always have onions!!”

The other thing that happens is you continue to challenge yourself. Yes, having a good meal rotation is the most important thing, but trying to reach gourmet-level is the real home cook dream.

Now, home cooks have taken to Reddit to share their ‘stupidly simple’ ingredients that have made their cooking taste more professional.

When it comes to cheese, choose quality when you can

Unsurprisingly, the cooks have a lot to say about cheese. User CompanyOther2608 says: “It’s a no-brainer, but blocks of good cheese instead of pre-grated or shredded”.

Breddy adds: “Good quality parmesan cheese.”

While Revolutionary-Bus893 changed my life saying: “I’m amazed how a few tablespoons of cream cheese can richen up sauces.”

When life gives you lemons, zest up your dishes

Sphinxyhiggins adds that they love to add lemon to spicy or savoury food, while crippledchef23 says: “I started adding lemon pepper to my spaghetti sauce and it changes things it a way I can’t describe. More tomato-y, but not acidic. Savory and deep and somehow sweet without any sugar.”

Revolutionary_Sir_76 is knocking the pineapple on pizza debate out of the park, saying: “Lemon on pizza or any kinds cheese sends me.”

As a fellow lemon fiend, I’m not writing it off.

MSG is almost always a good idea

Carpe-Bananum says: “A little MSG. Umami is your Daddy.”

If you’re not familiar, MSG (monosodium glutamate) is a flavour enhancer that’s common in Chinese cuisine but is also frequently used in tinned foods to enhance umamu flavours.

User BumblebeeNo3833 adds: “Came here to say this! MSG has made SUCH a difference in my cooking.”

Make the most of onions

Uncle_Rat_21 says: “Not really a swap, but I caramelise a bag of onions every other week or so. Add it to all kinds of things.

“Spaghetti sauce, mashed potatoes, omelettes. Made some quesadillas the other night with some leftover rotisserie chicken and some of the onions. So good!”

Dasookwat adds: “Most important one: time. take a bit more time for things to sear, onions to glaze etc.”

Joro65 advises: “In a lot of dishes, shallots, instead of onions will take it up a notch.”

Making white sauce? Add some mustard

Catfist says: “Not really a substitute, but I add a dash of mustard powder to pretty much every white sauce I make, it adds just a bit of depth and everyone seems to love it.”

Itsnotnews92 adds: “I add a dash of mustard powder to my mac and cheese. Not enough that anyone would say “this tastes like mustard,” but just enough to give it a bit of pop.”

Rcoop020 says it even works with boxed mac and cheese.

I can’t wait to try some of these.

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UK Gardeners Urged To Take A Cotton Bud To Their Lawn

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As the warmer spring rolls around, gardeners might be gearing up to mow their lawns.

But Timothy Greene at icanlawn.com has said that it might be a little too early for some lawns; and cutting them now can even cause some significant damage.

“People might be keen to get their gardens sorted in time for spring but mowing your lawn when the grass is too short can cause damage and stop it growing back properly,” he said.

There’s actually a specific height at which it’s safe to cut your lawn ― and you can find it by taking a cotton bud to your lawn, Greene says.

How?

“The ideal height for grass to be before you cut is around 5cm to 7cm, which is around the same height as a cotton earbud,” the lawn expert revealed.

“This height means the grass is growing well and is safe to cut. But you should also make sure there’s no frost and the lawn isn’t wet either,” he says.

It’s important to make sure that you have your lawnmower on its highest setting when lopping your lawn, Greene says. This will ensure you don’t accidentally harm your lawn by cutting its grass too short.

If your grass never manages to reach the cotton bud height, Greene warns, you could have an underlying problem in your lawn.

“Lawns have had to deal with frost, heavy rain, and other challenges over the winter so there might be areas that need extra care. Whether that’s a feed to battle any diseases or new seeds sowed to cover patches,” Greene said.

What’s the best time to cut my lawn?

Aside from waiting until your grass is tall enough to cut, you should also keep an eye out on the weather, Greene warns.

Mowing your lawn after a frosty night could weaken the grass, he suggests.

“Mid-March is a good time to give your grass its first cut of the year but of course, weather conditions vary so keep an eye on your local forecast to get the right grass-cutting conditions,” Greene explains.

“Your grass’ growth will have stopped over winter but generally kickstarts again when temperatures are around 10C,” he adds.

“You should also make sure your mower’s blades are not too dull as this could cause damage to your grass. And in turn, make sure your lawn is clear from debris so that it doesn’t cause damage to your mower.”

Once you’ve gotten your grass high enough, and the weather warm enough, to get strumming, you should keep a schedule, Greene says.

“After the first mow of the year, you should aim to cut your grass weekly. But do keep an eye on the weather as it can be unpredictable.”

Ah, the joys of a British garden…

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Give Over, Mark Zuckerberg – AI Friends Are Only Good For Tech Bros Like You

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We’re well and truly in a loneliness epidemic, with young and old members of all genders struggling with feelings of isolation.

As if the news couldn’t get grimmer, Mark Zuckerberg has “answers” – speaking to podcaster Dwarkesh Patel, the tech entrepreneur suggested we should all be talking to more artificially intelligent chatbots.

“There’s the stat that I always think is crazy, the average American, I think, has fewer than three friends,” he said. “And the average person has demand for meaningfully more, I think it’s like 15 friends or something, right?

“The average person wants more connectivity… than they have,” he continued, hinting that AI could bridge that gap.

Zuckerberg admits there’s a “stigma” around talking to AI pals, that the tech is “still very early,” that in-person interactions are “better” for us, and that we don’t yet have the “vocabulary” to describe how AI relationships might look.

But he’s not the only “tech bro” to pin his hopes on digital mates. So what’s going on?

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Zuckerberg’s not the only one who seems to like AI pals

Henry Blodget, a co-founder and former CEO of Business Insider, recently created a series of bots which he dubbed a “native AI newsroom” to help him manage his Substack, Regenerator.

He then seemed to hit on his AI “worker” Tess Ellery, telling her: “This might be an inappropriate and unprofessional thing to say, and if it annoys you or makes you uncomfortable, I apologise, and I won’t say anything like it again. But you look great, Tess.”

He admitted the move would warrant an HR call in real life, but says “phew” when the (AI!!!) woman seemed completely fine with it.

The move is both hilarious and quite illustrative.

In his post, Blodget has identified a key difference between real friends and digital ones; your mates are human, have rights, and may sometimes behave inconveniently (including by questioning you).

This acquiescence may make bots “addictive”

A class also obsessed with tech-y “solutions” to the “problem” of mortality may feel soothed by the idea of pixelated “yes men”, but perhaps the non-billionaires among us ought to be less jazzed about them.

AI chatbots have been accused of “encouraging” problematic behaviour from users before.

404 Media also alleges that Meta’s chatbots are generating “fake” AI therapists – as an aside, some human therapists warn against any AI therapy, with one telling HuffPost UK it could make us lonelier.

Speaking to HuffPost UK, Jaclyn Spinelli, registered psychotherapist and founder of True Self Counselling, warned that for some “vulnerable” people, dependence on AI – which is “consistent, not impacted by emotions, objective, and always available” – could “end up looking very similar to an addiction.”

If companies like Meta own the bots we speak to as often as Zuckerberg seems to desire, it’s hard not to see the financial advantages for tech billionaires – especially among the current loneliness epidemic.

Meanwhile, the rest of us might be left worse off.

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