I Worked Hard To Recover From My Eating Disorder. Then Ozempic Came Along

Posted on 30/12/2024 by Boris Clair

It has been a decade since I have written about eating disorder recovery.

I got tired of writing about it — mostly because I thought it had been solved. I thought we had all embodied the body positive ethos and were ready to feed not only our hunger, but our passions and curiosities. Collectively, we had decided that we are more than how our bodies look and that diet culture wasn’t relevant. We had learned by now that we could be healthy at any size.

And then, a “miracle drug” was introduced, and it began to feel like everyone who had claimed to love their body or embrace body positivity was willing to empty their bank accounts to become thin.

I can’t help but think, “Was I the only one really trying to divest from diet culture?”

I was a competitive figure skater from ages 5 to 18, and so my coaches, mother and nutritionist all demanded that I shrink. From the age of 8 years old, my body became the problem. If I was going to ice skate, I was going to have to shrink. The nutritionist, who I visited weekly, weighed me and told me what I was allowed to consume.

By the age of 12, I was eating either one 100-calorie pack or half of a Think Thin bar as a snack, and never daring to eat more than 1,200 calories a day. Warm protein shakes or fat-free cheese for protein. When it wasn’t time to eat— which was all I could think about, when I could eat next — six cans of Diet Coke felt reasonable.

Ice skating was no longer about love or passion — it was about dedication and discipline. So many implicit rules that still ring in my head today: Egg yolks were determined to have too much fat; so did avocado. As my body was starting to move through the motions of puberty, the elements that my body needed to survive ― carbs and natural fats ― were deemed my enemy.

Figure skating was not the only thing dedicated to the cult of thinness: Tyra Banks called size 6 women fat and People Magazine looked at Jessica Simpson in disgust when she was the same size, claiming she had let herself go. No social media, but celebrity tabloids were loud enough to claim their space. One particular article in Star sticks with me to this day: “What Mary-Kate Olsen eats in a day.” One crab cake for lunch. I couldn’t help but admire her brilliance: how decadent, how protein-packed. I wanted to whittle myself down to bone.

By the age of 12, I lost the weight that everyone around me was insistent that I lose. It felt like I had won a silent war. My skating peers and the mothers at my school asked me how I had managed to shrink. The glory of having done what no one else could: disappear in plain sight.

It wasn’t until my second semester of college, no longer figure skating and removed from my childhood context, that I came to on my hands and knees in front of my childhood toilet after purging eight times in one day. I could no longer ignore the ways in which I was making myself sick. I went back to school, got a therapist and began eating disorder recovery in earnest. I was 19.

Once I could name this invisible war I’d been waging against myself, I couldn’t help but feel the rage I had once vomited up. I was furious at all of the cultural forces that were endorsing and supporting my, and all women’s, destruction. I realized that convincing women that their bodies are the only project worthy of pursuing keeps them too hungry to pursue anything else.

On the cusp of my adulthood, I could no longer ignore that my hunger kept me silent and hyper-focused on something other than pursuing my interests or making an impact in the world.

The body positive ethos of the 2010s felt hopeful to me, not unrealistic, and it became the foundation of my eating disorder recovery. I learned that I could be healthy at any size. The idea that people are concerned about another person’s health when they bring up their weight is not only damaging but wholly untrue — size is not always an indicator of health. I knew that no one really cared about my health, they cared that I looked thin, pretty.

My therapist once told me that you should give yourself at least the length of your eating disorder to get over your eating disorder. Seven years. I held onto the number seven, as if it were the release date from my self-imposed prison.

Body neutrality, a practice that is more akin to my practice of body positivity, taught me how to remain neutral about my body. When I stopped dieting and just let myself pay attention to what my hunger felt like, I could learn how to not only nourish my body but my soul. When I looked at the mirror, the self-hating thoughts would float up, but I did not engage. And slowly but surely, after over a decade of not engaging with those thoughts, they disappeared.

It is rare for me to have a bad body day. And when I do? It is because there is something I do not want to name, and I am falling back on a well-worn defense mechanism: My body is the problem. Which, of course, keeps the real problem alive longer.

Thirteen years later, my body is not a prison but a safe-haven. My weight has been up and it has been down. I am fine either way. With a childhood history of extensive, intensive dieting, my body is still recalibrating.

After I got sober in 2021, I lost 20 pounds solely because I had stopped taking bong rips and ordering three slices of cake to my door. And the way in which people reacted — the celebration at my shrinking body — reminded me of what it felt like to be 16 again, enlivened by the way in which people were celebrating my disappearance, not admonishing me for putting food in my mouth.

It felt dangerous to name the glory I felt — accomplishing the fantasy I had long dreamed of, without trying. But with a decade of eating disorder recovery under my belt, I had to pause and reflect on what was really happening: After a traumatic ending to an engagement and hitting rock bottom, my body was traumatized. If I ate past full, I instantly felt the need to purge, an impulse that I thought long dead that was still alive and well in my body. I had to listen to my body, for my physical, spiritual and emotional health, for the first time in 11 years.

But this is the thing about weight loss: The weight comes back. It always does. Every time you diet, your body’s natural set weight actually gets higher, so you will gain it back and then some. This is just the science of dieting, it is just how it goes.

So of course, with more time sober, I gained the weight back. I found myself mourning this moment when I lost weight without even thinking, despite it being one of the most traumatic periods of time in my life. The times I was the thinnest always coincided with my most miserable.

My second year sober, while walking through the Atlanta airport, every advertisement shouted “LOSE WEIGHT, GLP-1’S.” I opened my Instagram, and strangers seemed to halve themselves overnight, all while shouting, “I thought you all were supposed to be body positive,” when people said anything but praise. Influencers who had built careers off of the idea of body acceptance were electing to change their bodies, to become the very thing they said their audience did not have to be.

No one is willing to name it: That if granted the chance to be thin, we will pay. We will pay $500-$1,000 a month. We will stomach the nausea if it means shrinking without trying. That gallbladder removal and pancreatitis isn’t that big of a deal if you are finally thin. That as long as we can be the thing that the culture has claimed will make us be the person we wish we can be, we will pay any price.

Let me be clear: Losing weight CAN be a body positive choice. A sustainable effort that takes time, not an instantaneous click of a button. Changing your diet, incorporating exercise, negotiating the reality of a healthy lifestyle can be a body positive choice. But it takes time — it is not an overnight transformation. Because what happens when the drug stops and your hunger comes back? The cycle continues, up and down, up and down.

I watch as the new Ozempic-bodied people shame pictures of their bigger bodies and highlight their current state. No one is willing to say: I am willing to do anything to be thin, even if it impacts my future health. Or worse: I will do anything to be thin because that is all I have ever wanted to be.

And the worst part? If you aren’t willing to take the miracle drug, you are seen as doing a disservice to your health. But I refuse to be gaslit. This isn’t about health, it’s about vanity. They are just regurgitating the toxic messaging that we have all been force fed.

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The 4 New Year’s Resolutions Cardiologists Always Make

Posted on 29/12/2024 by Boris Clair

It’s the season when many people set New Year’s resolutions for the year ahead, and these goals are often related to physical health.

Experts say there’s one big area that many people should focus on when it comes to their well-being: cardiovascular health.

“Cardiovascular disease is the number one cause of death in America,” said Dr. William Cornwell, a cardiologist at UCHealth University of Colorado Hospital. “And, sadly, people… lack a clear understanding of the health or unhealth of their hearts until something catastrophic happens, such as a heart attack or a stroke.”

But there are lifestyle habits you can adopt to manage some of the factors ― like high cholesterol, diabetes and high blood pressure ― that put you at risk of heart attack and stroke.

Cardiologists say they encourage these lifestyle habits every year. Below, doctors shared with HuffPost the New Year’s resolutions they set and recommend to patients in the name of heart health.

Committing or recommitting to exercise.

No surprise here: All of the experts we spoke to said exercise is an important resolution to set every single year.

“First and foremost, from a cardiac standpoint regarding cardiovascular health, exercise needs to be at the forefront,” Cornwell said.

“For me, personally, it is a part of my everyday routine and every year,” he said. “There needs to be a renewed commitment to ensure that exercise is at the forefront of everything that you should be thinking about to improve or maintain your cardiac health.”

“Exercise also brings a number of other benefits to other organ systems, in addition to improvements in quality of life and your overall ability to function well without symptoms,” Cornwell noted. “So, for many reasons — the heart really only being one of many — if there was going to be one New Year’s resolution, exercise should be the one.”

Admittedly, it can be hard to jump into fitness in January, a month marked by early sunsets and cold temperatures in much of the country. But it’s still important to prioritise movement during this time of year, said Dr. Johanna Contreas, a member of the National Hispanic Medical Association and a cardiologist at Mount Sinai Health System in New York.

“Winter months, we tend to see an increase in cardiovascular disease and heart attacks and heart failure, hospitalisation,” Contreas said, “because those winter months, you’re more indoors, less likely to be active. So, we always try to tell patients: Think about ways that you can remain active.”

In other words, your version of exercise does not have to take the form of an outdoor run or walk. You could focus on walking up and down the stairs throughout the day, making a point to get up from your computer after long meetings, or signing up for a fitness app that allows you to exercise from home. (Peloton, Alo Moves and FitOn are all good options.)

As for how much you need to exercise each week, Cornwell said the American Heart Association’s guidelines recommend 150 to 300 minutes of mild to moderate-intensity exercise (like brisk walking, doubles tennis or gardening), or 75 to 150 minutes of vigorous exercise (like running, jumping rope or swimming laps), each week.

Making small adjustments to your cooking regimen can create meaningful change — like not eating meat one day a week, or mixing cauliflower in with your rice.

Knowing their numbers.

“I tell people, [if] you really want to start a healthy year, know your numbers and know what is healthy for you,” Contreas said.

When talking about “numbers,” experts are referring to things like a person’s blood pressure, cholesterol and fasting glucose, said Dr. Elizabeth Jackson, director of the cardiovascular outcomes and effectiveness research program at the University of Alabama at Birmingham Medicine.

High cholesterol and high blood pressure can put you at increased risk for heart attack and stroke, which means they’re important to manage through medication and/or lifestyle changes.

Jackson also recommends “knowing your fasting glucose, because we know that in the U.S. we have a high prevalence of diabetes, but we also have a high prevalence of pre-diabetes — people who are not quite meeting the definition of diabetes, but they’re not in the normal range.”

According to Johns Hopkins Medicine, having diabetes makes you two to four times more likely to develop cardiovascular disease.

You can ask your doctor for your numbers, and they can either share the data they have on file or order tests to determine this information.

“It’s important to know where you’re at in terms of those numbers, but also not to be discouraged if numbers are out of whack,” Jackson noted.

You can get to a healthier place by adhering to lifestyle adjustments like sticking to an exercise regimen, quitting smoking, and more ways that are outlined in the AHA’s Life Essential 8. Additionally, you can talk to your doctor about medication to see if that’s the right choice for you.

Focusing on their nutrition.

Eating a nutritious diet full of things like fruits, veggies, whole grains, lean protein and beans is known to be beneficial for your heart health and your health overall.

According to Jackson, thinking wholeheartedly about your diet is a good goal for the new year.

To focus on your nutrition, Jackson suggests food-prepping for the week so you’ll have something nutritious to grab when you’re hungry. She also suggests trying out new heart-health recipes each week. The American Heart Association has recipes, she noted, that can help maintain or improve your cardiac health.

If this feels too daunting, Contreas said, you can try simple hacks like adding vegetables to your rice to make your meals more nutritious. Additionally, you could try eating vegetarian a few days a week, or even for a few meals a week.

Contreas noted that it’s important to be mindful of your salt intake, too. Consuming too much salt can increase your blood pressure, she said.

And, as mentioned above, high blood pressure can put you at risk for heart attack and stroke.

Prioritising sleep.

“Sleep is very important,” Contreas said. “Sleep deprivation, we know now, is very unhealthy, and it can cause increasing cardiovascular disease” and put you at higher risk for depression and high blood pressure.

Contreas said one of her New Year’s resolutions is to help workers at her hospital get better sleep, in particular those who have to work the night shift.

It’s recommended that adults get between seven and nine hours of sleep each night. “It may not be possible every night,” Contreas acknowledged. “But as much as we can stick to [it] would be important.”

Jackson and Cornwell both pointed out that healthy sleep is part of the AHA’s guidelines to better cardiovascular health, and is an important goal to focus on every year.

One tip: Don’t give up on these goals if you get distracted from time to time.

“We don’t have to go and be perfect every day right away,” Jackson said. “It’s not like January 1 starts, and all of a sudden your lifestyle habits are going to change dramatically and never go back.”

You should cut yourself some slack if you miss a day at the gym or fall back into an old habit you’re trying to break. Additionally, it’s OK to let yourself have rest days (your body needs them!) and allow yourself desserts and foods that aren’t particularly heart-healthy, too.

“But, knowing that if you’re putting in more healthy-type behaviours — healthy diet, physical activity, good sleep — most days, or more than you were, then that’s contributing,” Jackson said. “It really adds up.”

Missing a workout, or having a meal that isn’t great for your high cholesterol, isn’t going to put you back at zero.

“Our cardiovascular health is not just turning on a switch. It’s a holistic view of your diet, your physical activity, your sleep patterns, your lifestyle, together with those numbers for those traditional risk factors of blood glucose, blood pressure, cholesterol,” Jackson said. “It’s really something that is a lifestyle, something to follow and think about your whole life.”

Science Says You Should Say ‘No’ To That Party You’re Dreading

Posted on 29/12/2024 by Boris Clair

’Tis the season for indulging in food, premium telly, getting new, soft PJs, and cold, dark evenings that start at 4 PM.

And for some unholy reason, people have decided that now is also the perfect time to socialise. Make that make sense (can I please just enjoy my food coma without having to face Storm Gerrit or trousers with buttons on them?).

There’s nothing worse than realising that the dreaded social event you half-heartedly committed to months ago is coming up ― but a recent paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that saying “no” to the meet-up might actually not be as big a deal as we think.

Say more…

Julian Givi, an assistant professor of marketing at West Virginia University, conducted the study after stressing about declining a wedding invitation.

In his research, he found a separate study revealing that 77% of us had accepted an invitation to an event we didn’t want to attend.

“We worry about the negative ramifications that might arise. Will the person who offered the invitation be angry? Will they think I do not care about them? Will they invite me to do something again down the road?” Givi said.

So, he got over 2,000 participants to take part in five rounds of experimentation. Half of these took on the role of invitees, and half were inviters.

They were asked to imagine themselves in real and hypothetical situations, like asking (and being asked to) events like going to a museum. they were then asked how they’d feel if someone said “no.”

And?

“Invitees have exaggerated concerns about how much the decline will anger the inviter, signal that the invitee does not care about the inviter, make the inviter unlikely to offer another invitation in the future,” the study found.

“This asymmetry emerges in part because invitees exaggerate the degree to which inviters focus on the decline itself, as opposed to the thoughts that ran through the invitee’s head before deciding.“

In other words, you’re probably overthinking how much your host cares about your absence ― so let’s tuck into those leftovers and get going on that box set, shall we?

How I Dress To Get Through Security Lightning-Quick At The Airport

Posted on 29/12/2024 by Boris Clair

I travel frequently, often with young children. While I have learned to expect the unexpected, I have many parts of the travel process down to a science, from how to create an itinerary that works to how to make 20-hour travel days not just tolerable but enjoyable.

However, getting through airport security with ease was one of the hardest parts of the travel experience for me to master. I’m very careful about how I pack and what I wear, but it took me a long time to factor getting through airport security into the equation.

“My first piece of advice is to think ahead,” said Luis Gonzales, an Intrepid Travel tour leader in Peru who ushers scores of passengers through airports each year. Daniel Herszberg, the co-founder of Travel Insighter, who has visited every country in the world, said that knowing how to get through security quickly may mean the difference between making your flight and missing it if you’re running late.

Now that I’ve mastered my routine, I appreciate that getting through security quickly and easily can set a positive tone for my entire trip. I recently wondered if I was missing out on any tips that could make getting through airport security even easier, so I spoke to experts. Here’s what they recommend.

Avoid clothing and accessories made with pieces of metal.

While a little bit of metal on clothing — such as rivets on jeans or a snap — might not set off alarms, wearing too much metal can be problematic. Gonzales recommends not wearing belts or clothing with more than one zipper — he even suggests avoiding items with many metal buttons, such as button-fly jeans.

Herszberg has had what he thought were “basic blue jeans” set off alarms, resulting in hand pat-downs. He now avoids wearing those pants to the airport.

Put metal accessories in your bag before you get into the security line.

Many travellers like to wear everyday accessories on their trip, such as watches, rings and necklaces. They also often have items like keys and cell phones in their pocket when they get to the airport.

These should go into your bag before you get to the converter belt, Gonzales said. “It’s all about being ready when it’s your turn. This keeps things moving smoothly and takes the stress out of the experience,” he explained.

Placing these items in your bag ahead of time also lowers the chance of leaving something behind. Andrew Khan, associate director of behaviour change and expertise at Understood.org, recommends designating an outer pocket of your carry-on for these items. Alternatively, pack an empty bag in your carry-on and use it to keep loose items together when you go through security.

Wear slip-off shoes and have socks handy in summer for domestic travel.

Taking your shoes off and then putting them back on takes time and can be a pain. Wearing slip-off shoes makes the process much easier. If you decide to wear sandals during the summer, have socks ready to slip on quickly. “There’s nothing more discomforting than walking barefoot on that sticky TSA ground before a long flight,” Herszberg said.

Maybe just forget about the button-fly jeans on your next flight.

Don’t remove shoes in international airports.

Leigh Barnes, president of the Americas for Intrepid Travel, adds that even though many countries outside of the United States don’t require passengers to remove their shoes, American passengers tend to default to taking them off anyway. It’s best to look up the rules in advance when traveling internationally or wait until you are asked to remove your shoes to take them off, he said. Otherwise, you may hold up the line and make the process longer than it needs to be. Gonzales recommends not wearing shoes with buckles or boots with zippers through security when traveling internationally.

Layer smartly.

In colder climates, many travellers arrive at the airport wearing winter coats. Be sure to remove your jacket before you arrive at security. If you have room, place it in your bag. If you have a puffer, roll it and put it in a travel pillowcase to save space. As a last resort, put your coat in a bin.

Khan recommends wearing layers so that you stay comfortable throughout the process. He explains that being too hot or cold can make going through security more stressful. If you wear a light sweater or sweatshirt without zippers, you can usually keep it on through security, Herszberg said.

Put loose items through security before your suitcase.

If you need to put any items in a bin, such as a coat, belt, shoes or a watch, send the bin through the X-ray machine before your suitcase. That way, you can gather your items quickly before your carry-on makes it through screening. You are also less likely to leave items behind, Khan said.

Pack your carry-on intentionally.

To make getting through security easier, Khan recommends being very intentional about how you pack your carry-on. Pack clothing you won’t need to remove to go through screening on the bottom of your suitcase. Then, layer items you might be asked to remove, such as laptops and liquids, on top.

Here’s Why You Queef During Sex. (Don’t Be Embarrassed, It’s Normal.)

Posted on 28/12/2024 by Boris Clair

Queefing, as anyone with a vagina will tell you, can happen at some inopportune times: while you’re having sex, in the middle of a yoga class or during a visit to the gynaecologist.

You may have heard some people refer to queefs as “vaginal farts” (charming). But while queefs do produce a toot-like sound, we can assure you that queefing is not the same as passing gas.

We talked to gynaecologists and sex therapists to learn more about what causes queefs, some of the misconceptions about them and why they shouldn’t be as mortifying as we make them out to be.

What makes you queef, anyway?

Queefing is an involuntary bodily function that occurs when air is pushed into the vagina, gets temporarily trapped in the folds of the vaginal canal (called rugae) and is then released.

“Queefing happens when a penis, fingers or sex toy go in and out of the vagina bringing additional air along with it,” Sherry A. Ross, an OB-GYN in Santa Monica, California and the author of “She-ology: The Definitive Guide to Women’s Intimate Health,” told HuffPost. “Sex can involve a lot of thrusting of the penis in and out of the vagina, typically pushing extra air into a dead-end space.”

Certain sex positions, like doggy style where your pelvis is titled upwards, or abruptly switching from one position to another, may increase the likelihood of queefing. Even non-sexual activities, like putting in a tampon or menstrual cup, practicing yoga (like when you move out of an inversion pose) or your gyno inserting a speculum can lead to queefing.

“From my experience as an OB-GYN, almost every woman has experienced at least one episode of queefing some time during her life, sometimes even during a pelvic exam,” said Diana Hoppe, an OB-GYN in Encinitas, California.

While the gas that comes out of your rectum may have a foul odor (a result of bacterial activity in the gut), queefs are odorless, Hoppe added.

Can you prevent a queef?

There’s not much you can do to stop a queef in its tracks. You can’t just “hold it in” like you would a fart.

And as OB-GYN Sheila Loanzon told Cosmopolitan, “If you try to contract the vaginal canal to prevent air from coming in, it can cause sex to be more painful.”

Women who have previously given birth, in particular, may be more prone to queefing because pregnancy and childbirth can weaken the pelvic floor muscles. By strengthening those muscles via exercises like Kegels, you may be able to reduce your odds of queefing, Hoppe said.

“Also, when doing any abdominal exercises or weight-bearing exercise, it is important to squeeze the pelvic floor while holding the core abdominal muscles tight,” Hoppe said. “Many women squeeze abdominal muscles but do not activate the pelvic floor at the same time, thus allowing the pelvic floor to sag, increasing the likelihood of air entering into vaginal canal.”

During sex, keeping the penis, fingers or sex toy inside you while you change positions could lessen your chances of queefing because it “gives air less of an opportunity to get into the vagina,” Jamil Abdur-Rahman, an OB-GYN and the chairman of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at Vista Health System in Waukegan, Illinois, told Self.

And in theory, you could just avoid certain sex or yoga positions altogether. But what’s the fun in that?

When queefing does happen, don’t sweat it.

So why does this very normal bodily function feel so embarrassing in the moment, be it during doggy-style or downward dog? It really just comes down to that pesky noise, Hoppe said.

“The stigma is due to lack of understanding the difference between release of air from the vagina and flatulence,” she said. “The sound effects may be the same though, so culturally there may be a stigma or embarrassment due to this occurring ‘down there.’”

Sex therapist Vanessa Marin underscored the fact that queefing is normal, common and “not anything to be ashamed of.” Embracing the awkwardness of the moment can even make sex more enjoyable for both partners.

“Our bodies make funny noises sometimes, and that’s OK!” she said. “Plus, there are plenty of other goofy things about sex, like getting sweaty, slipping out, getting into awkward positions and so on. The more we can laugh about these kinds of things, the more fun we’ll have during sex.”

When a queef slips out mid-coitus, you have two choices: ignore that deflating balloon sound completely or quickly acknowledge it and move on. Marin prefers the latter route.

“It’s a personal preference, but I think it’s better to just quickly acknowledge it and laugh it off,” she said. “That way you don’t have to sit there thinking about it, anxiously wondering whether or not your partner heard it.”

Is queefing ever cause for concern?

Generally, queefing is nothing to be worried about. While rare, if queefing is accompanied by pain or a bad smell, you should make an appointment with a doctor to rule out any more serious issues.

“If queefing is associated with a foul odour, it may be an indication of a vaginal infection or possible fistula, an [abnormal] connection between rectum and vagina due to previous radiation treatment or surgery that causes stool or feces to come out of the vagina,” Hoppe said.

But for the most part, queefing is a normal, if slightly awkward, fact of life. So let’s not get so hung up on it, OK?

Sex Ed for Grown-Ups is a series tackling everything you didn’t learn about sex in school — beyond the birds and the bees. Keep checking back for more expert-based articles and personal stories.

This Is The Ticket To More Frequent And Satisfying Orgasms, According To New Research

Posted on 28/12/2024 by Boris Clair

When it comes to research and women’s sexual pleasure, most of what we know is about how things aren’t working — the fact that many women struggle to achieve orgasm with their partners, for example. One survey of women in Finland found that only 54% experienced an orgasm the last time they had intercourse, compared with 90% of men in similar surveys.

“There’s so little evidence that has actually looked at normal functioning of the orgasm in women, it’s shocking,” Megan Klabunde, a psychologist and professor at the University of Essex in England, told HuffPost.

Yet lots of women do have regular orgasms, both alone and with partners, and feel satisfaction in their sex lives. What could we learn from their experiences?

A recent study published by Klabunde and her co-authors found a skill that correlates with more frequent and more satisfying orgasms in women, nonbinary people and trans men: interoception.

What is interoception?

In elementary school, we’re taught the five senses: sight, smell, taste, hearing and touch. But these don’t encompass interoception, which is our perception of our own internal sensations.

“Interoception focuses on the senses from within your body, such as your heartbeat, sense of your breathing, hunger and your need to use the toilet,” Klabunde told HuffPost.

Noticing that your pulse or your breathing has sped up or slowed down would be one example. Or maybe you’re attentive to your body’s hunger cues even before your stomach starts growling.

In their survey of 318 women, nonbinary people and trans men, Klabunde and her co-authors rated participants’ levels of interoception by asking them how much they agreed with statements such as “When I am tense, I notice where the tension is located in my body,” ”I notice how my body changes when I feel happy/joyful” and “I trust my body sensations.”

How does interoception improve sexual satisfaction?

The study found that “a person’s tendency to notice their interoceptive
sensations and their abilities to attend to these signals are associated with increased orgasm frequency in women,” Klabunde said. In other words, people who were more in tune with internal sensations such as hunger or their pulse speeding up tended to have more frequent orgasms.

Klabunde noted that the study measured participants’ perceived interoception — whether they felt in tune with their bodies, without regard to whether these sensations were accurate.

This association between interoception and frequency of orgasms held for both solo and partnered sex. Interestingly, “the only thing that was associated with satisfaction of your orgasms in the partnered context,” Klabunde said, was “body trusting,” which she described as “women’s ability to trust their body and the sensations from their bodies.”

She speculated as to why this might be. “It’s really important to feel like when you do feel the sensations in your body, to trust them, to know that it’s safe to have that experience, rather than to feel like you have to override it with your own thinking and really doubt what your experience is.”

Joy Berkheimer, a therapist who was not affiliated with the study, saw a natural connection between interoception and sexual pleasure, telling HuffPost, “This heightened awareness allows for a better understanding of what feels pleasurable, leading to (hopefully) enacting or asking for more of what you like.”

How can people hone their interoceptive skills?

Though there is not empirical research showing what people can do if they want to increase their interoceptive awareness, it makes sense to try tuning in to these sensations if you are hoping to have more frequent or more satisfying orgasms.

One way to learn about your body’s sensations and preferences is to do some exploration on your own, so it’s perhaps not surprising that the participants in Klabunde’s study had more frequent and satisfying orgasms by themselves than with a partner.

“Engaging in solo sexual activities often means there’s less pressure to please a partner or meet external expectations, creating a more relaxed state of mind that enhances personal pleasure and enjoyment,” Berkheimer said.

“Additionally, cultural norms often prioritise male pleasure, which can diminish focus on female and nonbinary pleasure in partnerships; solo activities provide a space to prioritise one’s own needs. For some, the emotional connection experienced during solo activities can also feel safer, encouraging vulnerability and deeper exploration of your sexual identity and desires,” Berkheimer added.

While in other endeavours, people are often advised to home in on their goal or even to “manifest” it into reality, interoception during sex is less about whether or not you reach orgasm and more about paying attention to your sensations in the moment and trusting your body.

Klabunde noted that sensate focus therapy, a kind of sex therapy for couples, is rooted in noticing your own sensations and building trust with your partner. Though it has not been clear in the past why this therapy is effective, interoception offers a potential explanation.

Although it may lead to more or better orgasms in the long term, sensate focus “tries to get a couple to take orgasm off of the table and to not make it a part of the goal … to slowly get more comfortable in those sexual interactions without having a goal and just to be present with each other and to be present with your bodies,” Klabunde said. For example, a couple might start by having one partner stroke the other person’s hand and focusing on what that experience feels like.

Berkheimer advised that couples looking to improve their sex lives embrace “the journey of discovery together.”

“Start by cultivating a safe and open space for communication,” Berkheimer said. “Talk about what feels good, what excites each of you and any boundaries you want to establish.”

If you’re looking to take your sexual relationship to the next level, Berkeimer recommended that you “encourage your partner to connect with their own body — this self-exploration is powerful and can inform you both about what brings joy and pleasure.”

You can also “experiment with different techniques, positions and even toys to find what resonates best,” she said, adding that you might incorporate breath work or mindfulness practices, both of which can help you tune in to your internal sensations.

“Creating an atmosphere that embraces playfulness, curiosity and touch can transform your intimate moments into a magical experience,” she said.

I’ve Found The Secret To Fluffy Jacket Potatoes In Under 7 Minutes

Posted on 27/12/2024 by Boris Clair

Jacket potatoes are so close to being the perfect midweek winter meal. They’re filling; they’re tasty; they go with basically anything. They’re also cheap, and spuds take much longer to go off than lots of other veggies.

But there’s one problem; it feels like you can basically while away an entire evening waiting for them to cook in an oven.

I can hear the purists now – and yes, I do agree that a lot of the time, the extra wait time is worth it. It’s a great way to ensure perfect, fluffy spuds with delicate, crispy skins, and other cooking methods (like air frying) take a similar amount of time.

But hear me out ― thanks to TikTok, I’ve been converted to a 10-minute microwave jacket potato-cooking method (yes, really).

What’s the method?

TikToker @harley.salem shared a microwave-based recipe for fluffy, crispy jacket spuds – and it’s racked up almost two hundred thousand likes.

The method is pretty simple: you wash the potato, shallowly stab it with a fork a LOT, deeply stab it with a fork a few times, and then wrap the spud in wet kitchen roll.

Place the damp parcel in the microwave for six minutes, and then carefully remove the VERY HOT cooked spud from your microwave. We recommend doing this with a tool like tongs, as it’s literally steaming at this point.

Then, also using a tool like tongs, peel the kitchen roll away from the potato ― et voila, you’ve got a perfectly fluffy spud.

If your spud isn’t fully cooked by the time it’s come out of the microwave, that’s simple to fix – simply re-wrap it in more damp kitchen roll and let it microwave for a couple more minutes (the bigger the spud, the longer you’ll need).

Why does it work?

Wrapping potatoes in wet kitchen roll is “crucial” for a moist and fluffy interior, according to Tasting Table.

Potatoes are pretty watery, however microwaving them can cause all of this water to evaporate really quickly, drying out your beloved baked spud.

The thinking is that wrapping the potato in wet kitchen roll acts as an “evaporation buffer” helping the spud to retain enough moisture to stay fluffy and delicious.

“Best hack ever … sooo easy,” one commenter shared on TikTok. And having tried it myself, I completely agree – the texture is so far from the soggy, grainy mess microwaves sometimes create.

I will say that it’s not the crispiest skin I’ve ever eaten on a potato and the damp kitchen roll gets very, very hot, so you need to be careful (we weren’t joking about those tongs).

But for speed, efficiency and overall flavour, this gets a solid 9/10 from me.

The 1 Thing Therapists Say Harms Your Happiness The Most

Posted on 27/12/2024 by Boris Clair

In a culture of toxic positivity, it can feel particularly bad when you wake up and aren’t feeling totally happy. This is likely exacerbated when you open up your Instagram or Facebook feeds only to see smiling friends on vacation or at their wedding.

It’s easy to feel like you just should be happy, but experts say it is much bigger than that ― and there are probably some behaviours and beliefs that keep you from feeling your best.

Below, mental health professionals share the thought patterns, limiting behaviours and beliefs that affect your happiness and fulfilment most, plus their best advice for combating the negativity.

Shame, Guilt And Worry

“I think shame, guilt and worry are the most common disruptors of happiness, just in what I see in working with people,” said Tamika Lewis, the clinical director and founder of WOC Therapy in California.

When you’re experiencing one of these feelings, you’re holding yourself hostage to past life experiences or worrying about the future, she said. “So we’re not in the present moment, and that really disrupts … that contentment and joy.”

Practicing self-compassion is one way to combat these feelings, Lewis noted. She said it’s also important to have grace for yourself and practice mindfulness so you stay in the present moment.

Additionally, Lewis said she talks a lot about the Hawaiian practice of ho’oponopono with her clients.

“It’s four phrases, simply saying, ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you,’” she explained. Lewis encourages folks to close their eyes and recite this mantra four times.

“They really hit all these areas; the guilt, the shame, all of that. And then the love as a reminder of self-love, and sometimes it could help too to even do this in the mirror as you’re looking at yourself,” Lewis explained.

She said gratitude is another way to help combat feelings of shame, guilt and worry.

“I know it’s kind of cliché, but I think if we can keep our focus on the things we are grateful for … . So, if we tend to be critical about our bodies or our performance, really just giving thanks to the ways that our bodies are holding us or the ways that we’re showing up can be a quick hack,” Lewis said. (For any Peloton fans, this is exactly like instructor Jess Sims’ exercise mantra: “You don’t have to, you get to.”)

Not Taking Action In Your Life

Some of the therapists we spoke to said many of their clients often don’t pursue the activities, decisions or passions that make them happy. This might look like staying in an unfulfilling relationship or avoiding a job switch because you’re comfortable.

“I think for some people, they get stuck in these cycles of rumination. And what that prevents them from doing is actually taking action, right?” said Sadaf Siddiqi, a psychotherapist and mental health consultant in New York City.

Procrastination can be at play here or even fear and anxiety, “but for other people, it’s a way of deflecting behaviour in the sense that they’re so overly focused on someone else and not attuned to what they need to be doing,” she said.

Do you find yourself obsessing about your sister’s bad love life decisions? Then you may fall into the category of deflection.

“Not taking action in your life is sometimes also linked to not having a strong connection with yourself, so maybe those are two branches … to happiness,” Siddiqi said.

Taking action to live a more joy-filled life has to be intentional. In a society that overproduces and is always on the go, sometimes action can actually be a step back, she said. Taking action needs to be relevant to what’s going on in your life — like your goals and aspirations.

Doing this can feel scary to many people because of the risk involved. So it’s important to understand that “no matter what trajectory you take, you will make mistakes; it’s a non-negotiable in your path,” she said.

“So if you’re always preventing taking action because you’re so afraid of messing up, it’s going to really be a paralysis — it’s almost going to be a decision paralysis, an action paralysis,” Siddiqi said.

When it comes to taking action, Siddiqi said she tells her clients to take micro-steps, which may not feel as exciting as big steps because there isn’t immediate gratification, but change often comes from the small shifts, she noted.

Comparing Yourself To Others

According to Stephanie Dahlberg, a licensed independent clinical social worker at Thriveworks in Nashua, New Hampshire, comparative thinking is another behaviour that takes away from your happiness.

“Comparative thinking is what you think of when you think about scrolling through social media and you see this person who seems to have it all … their lives on the little pictures and posts are just amazing,” Dahlberg said.

Even if you aren’t actually saying or thinking to yourself “I want this” or “I wish I had this,” just seeing a different situation can make you naturally compare yourself to the folks you follow on social media, she noted.

“I think our culture and our society is kind of set up that way, unfortunately,” Dahlberg said. “Sometimes it can be good, keeps things competitive and keeps us learning and growing and always striving to be the best, but I think sometimes our culture and society kind of goes a little too far with it, where you’re kind of constantly comparing yourself to everyone else or comparing what you have to what someone else has or doesn’t have.”

To stop comparing yourself to others so much, Dahlberg said, you can limit your time on social media. Instead of opening up Instagram or Facebook as soon as you wake up, open up your Notes app and write down five things you’re grateful for, she said.

“Starting the day with gratitude … can be a great way to frame your day in a positive way and get those endorphins going and having more of those happy feelings,” Dahlberg said.

Additionally, try to remember that what you’re seeing on social media or the curated stories you hear from loved ones aren’t the full picture.

“It can be really hard to be satisfied with your life when you’re comparing yourself to other people who are really showing the best of their life,” said Shavonne Moore-Lobban, a psychologist in Washington, D.C., and author of “The Black Woman’s Guide to Overcoming Domestic Violence.” “We don’t often have a lot of access to people’s most challenging moments, the natural ebb and flow of the ups and downs.”

Moore-Lobban noted that kind of vulnerability is often not affirmed by society. Just think about times when you’ve thought someone was “oversharing” or “attention-seeking” when they share information that isn’t positive.

“I think in this unintentional way, we’ve really encouraged people to present the best sides of themselves and to show the good moments and to be optimistic,” Moore-Lobban said.

So remember that the next time your favourite celebrity shares photos from a glitzy party or your neighbour posts an update about their home renovation.

Instead of scrolling social media and comparing yourself to the lives on your phone screen, take a few moments to jot down what you're grateful for. — Instead of scrolling social media and comparing yourself to the lives on your phone screen, take a few moments to jot down what you’re grateful for.

‘Should’ Statements

“Another thing that kind of goes along with comparative thinking is expectations, like what your life should be or should look like,” Dahlberg said.

These are called “should” statements. They could be as minor as “I should have done the laundry today” or, more often, nebulous, like “I should be further along in my career by now” or “I should be more fulfilled.”

When thinking about “should” statements, Dahlberg noted you’re leaving the present moment.

“If you can, try and focus on really being present where you are, taking a look at what’s around you, what’s right in front of you in the moment and trying to find what you can appreciate from it, even … in a really difficult circumstance,” she said. This can help you feel lighter and happier.

Not Having A Strong Connection With Yourself

According to Siddiqi, when it comes to adults, lacking a strong connection with yourself damages your happiness. “That can look like outsourcing your worth, not knowing your own values, your own limitations, your own strengths,” she said.

If you’re someone who outsources your own worth, your feelings about yourself come from the opinions of other people and society as a whole. Additionally, if you don’t know your own values, limitations and strengths, you’ll have trouble determining the things that make you feel fulfilled — or, on the contrary, empty.

It’s important to understand yourself, which includes accepting your flaws, she said.

“It doesn’t mean you turn a blind eye to what your limitations are, but it’s really about how you approach them,” Siddiqi said.

And when you have a stronger connection with yourself, you can learn what you need to fill your cup, such as setting healthy boundaries.

“It really starts with those small things. Positive small talk, affirmation, doing things independently … so you feel more confident taking action,” Siddiqi said.

Ignoring Deeper Problems

It can feel hard to be honest and vulnerable in a society that encourages a glass-half-full mentality. But when you push down deep-seated issues, you’re actually harming your happiness — and this especially goes for trauma, Moore-Lobban said.

“We know that trauma is very prevalent in our society in lots of different ways, right? Whether it’s trauma that people have experienced in relationships or with family and their childhood, in their adulthood, racial trauma … homophobia against folks, xenophobia: All the things of life that are hard and really overwhelm our ability to cope for a particular time stick with us,” Moore-Lobban said.

As difficult as it is, she said it’s important to unpack your trauma to achieve the joy you deserve in life.“[We have to] look at what has happened underneath if we’re really going to find a place of healing from it,” Moore-Lobban said.

“I think that being able to explore and understand the experiences that people have had in life, even when they are challenging and negative, I think that’s a part of getting to happiness,” she added.

If you don’t find a way to address and be honest about the challenges in your life, then you’re being inauthentic to yourself, “which isn’t fair to yourself and is not going to help your happiness or your healing,” Moore-Lobban said.

Additionally, Siddiqi said she thinks “it is hard for people to feel happy because of underlying mental health issues that biologically prevent them from feeling joy — things like depression, mood disorders.”

In these cases, additional interventions may be necessary, such as lifestyle changes, medication management or support from a therapist. If you think you fall into this category, you can look to databases like Psychology Today to find a mental health provider to help you feel better.

Isolation

Isolation is a major source of unhappiness and even depression, according to Lewis. “We’re connected on social media, but I think it’s important for us to think about who are we connecting with in our day.”

Lewis said it’s becoming all too common to go days without connecting with loved ones or your community, and that can lead to feelings of loneliness and can make you feel isolated.

“We’re all interconnected. We’re all in this together,” Lewis stressed.

To keep yourself from feeling isolated, call your family members, invite a friend or neighbour over for a drink or make plans with a co-worker to get dinner after work.

How Else To Capture More Joy In Your Everyday Life

The first step is creating an intention. “When we wake up, most people think about their extensive to-do list … I like to think about how do I want to feel today — you know that sets the day off in a different way,” Lewis said.

For example, if she says that she wants to feel at ease today, she will think about the things she can add to her day to evoke that feeling.

“Then I think about, too ― it could be a little dark ― but I do consider, what if this were my last day? How do I want to do this life?” Lewis said. “And I try to remember that and make choices from that place.”

So if Lewis doesn’t want to be in a funk or doesn’t want to hold a grudge, she makes sure her actions mirror this throughout the day.

“And I know there [are] deeper traumas that we’re all likely working through, but the one thing we can control is really just the moment we have in front of us,” she said.

Additionally, try not to make “happiness” your final outcome.

“For my young adult clients, one thing I always encourage them to remember is that you have to avoid thinking of happiness as a goal or your final outcome,” Siddiqi said.

“One thing I see all the time: My clients will say ‘I just want to be happy,’ and then I’ll ask them ‘What does happiness look like for you?’ and they’ll say ‘I want to get married,’ ‘I want to get into this graduate program,’ ‘I want to lose 10 pounds,’ and there are all these concrete goals … a lot of them find that when they [reach their goals], there are still a lot of problems in life, there are still issues, they haven’t reached this ‘happiness,’” Siddiqi said.

Instead of looking at happiness as a destination, think of it as the choices along the way, she noted. “Part of embracing and being open to happiness is accepting the ups and downs,” Siddiqi said.

She encourages folks to remember that even in your lowest moments you have to be open to finding things that are good, and even in your highest moments you have to be grounded enough to remember that everything is temporary and the ebbs and flows of life are normal.

“It’s not one goal, it’s not one final outcome that I need to associate my happiness with,” she said. Because, if you do that, you’ll forever be searching for a fleeting moment.

Lewis added that even beyond happiness, you should strive for a life full of joy and fulfilment. “There’s a lot of toxic positivity around ‘I just want you to be happy,’” Lewis said.

Lewis said happiness looks different for different people, which can put pressure on the term “happiness.” It’s much easier to decipher if you feel joyful and if you feel fulfilled in your life.

There’s 1 Big Risk Of Keeping Up Your Christmas Tree Into The New Year

Posted on 26/12/2024 by Boris Clair

We all tend to focus on the best practices when it comes to putting up real Christmas trees, but there is a lot to be said about what to do when getting rid of it. Specifically, is there a best time to do it?

According to experts, the answer is yes. You may want to prolong the merriment into the new year (or just don’t have the energy to take it down), but it turns out there’s one major reason why you should: “Once that tree dries out … it can burn,” said Jill Sidebottom, a spokeswoman for the National Christmas Tree Association.

Firefighters see about 160 home structure fires per year as a result of a Christmas tree, according to the National Fire Protection Association.

To further protect yourself, the NFPA suggests placing the tree at least 3 feet from any heat source, making sure it’s not blocking an exit and ensuring that decorative lights are in good working order.

Although the risk overall is rare, it’s certainly an issue worth discussing when decorating ― and choosing when to undecorate ― your space for the holidays.

“A fresh-cut, well-watered tree will not burn,” said J. Scott Edwards, the general manager at Maple Row Farm. “However, a very dry tree can be of concern.”

How do I know if my Christmas tree is dry?

There are a few ways to figure out if a tree is dry, starting with its colour. If you notice your tree changes in hue to a lighter green, brown or even red, Sidebottom said, you should start thinking about taking it down.

Also keep an eye on the tree’s needles. “When the tree dries out, the needles and small shoots will become stiffer and less bendable,” Sidebottom explained.

The tree’s engagement with water could also be indicative of its condition. “If a tree that has been taking up water quits doing so, that’s a sign,” Sidebottom said. “The tree will also be lighter, as it is no longer full of water.”

Other factors to keep in mind include a musty odor and wrinkled bark, according to the National Christmas Tree Association.

Any or all of the above characteristics could appear in your tree, Sidebottom said.

You can tell your tree is drying house based on factors like the color and the needles.

When you bought your tree also influences when you should take it down.

About 33% of people buy their tree right after Thanksgiving and another 33% do so the first week of December, according to a survey the Real Christmas Tree Board released this year.

When you actually cut down your tree will influence when you should think about removing it from your home, Edwards said.

“The earlier you cut the tree, the earlier it needs to be taken down,” he explained, noting that the drying process kicks off as soon as the tree is removed from the farm. “We often refer to cut flowers when talking about tree care,” he added. “It’s really just a big flower. It doesn’t last forever.”

Overall, Sidebottom urged people to “use their common sense” when it comes to taking down the tree. Removing your tree when it’s dry keeps everything – and everyone – in the house safe.

For what it’s worth, she suggested, try not to think of the cleanup process as the end of the usually happy, sentimental holiday season.

“I always enjoy putting the tree up, but I enjoy taking it down too,” Sidebottom said. “Putting all those memories away and tidying up the house is like getting ready for the new year.”

I’m A GI Surgeon ― This Massage Method Can Help To Relieve Constipation

Posted on 26/12/2024 by Boris Clair

Constipation is a pretty common issue in the UK, with one in seven adults experiencing the bowel-based burden at any given time.

Women are more likely to experience constipation than men, possibly because our digestive systems are longer (fun!).

Still, knowing you’re not alone during your backed-up time of pain doesn’t necessarily make the condition easier.

So it’s a good thing surgeon, lecturer, and author Dr Karan Rajan has shared a simple massage method that can help to get your BMs back on track.

Why does massage help to relieve constipation and how do I do it?

The doctor began his video by saying that the pendulum method ― swaying your torso as you sit on the porcelain throne ― is a good way to unblock your bowels.

Imagine you’re blowing up a balloon as you attempt to go number two is also a good method, the gastrointestinal surgeon continued.

But he adds that “there’s evidence that abdominal massages in a sweeping clockwise motion can help.”

Dr Rajan advises we “always ensure you’re going from right to left” because this mimics the direction of our intestines.

This stimulates peristalsis, the movement of your guts that helps stool to pass through the system.

The doctor pointed to a 2022 randomised placebo-controlled study which found that “Abdominal massage should be one of the first-line conservative approaches in the management of functional chronic constipation.”

How can I prevent getting backed up in the future?

Eating a fibre-filled diet with lots of fruits and veggies, drinking enough water, exercising, and avoiding booze can all help your toilet routine, the NHS says.

They add that adopting a squat position can make the passage more efficient: “To make it easier to poo, try resting your feet on a low stool while going to the toilet. If possible, raise your knees above your hips,” the health service advises.

Per the NHS, you should see a GP about the condition if you:

are constipated and it’s not getting better with treatment
are regularly constipated
are regularly bloated
have blood in your poo
have lost weight without trying
are constipated and feel tired all the time
are taking medicine that’s causing constipation – such as opioid painkillers
notice sudden changes in how you poo (your bowel habits)
have tummy pain.