5 Exciting Things Straight People Can Learn From Queer Sex

One of the eternal truths about sex is that we all do it a little differently, and have different relationships with bedroom antics.

However, this Pride month, the sexperts at Beducated have shared that they believe that heterosexual folks could learn a lot about sex and intimacy from their queer counterparts.

Given that heterosexual women orgasm less than LGBTQ+ women, we reckon that there are definitely some essential insights we could all learn from.

What straight people can learn from queer sex

There is no ‘right way’ to have sex

While a lot of us feel pressure to perform well in the bedroom and get it ‘right’ when it comes to sex, there’s actually no wrong way to have sex and orgasms can come (pun intended) without any penetration.

Beducated CEO Mariah Freya said: “There is this outdated misconception that sex is only complete when there is penetration involved. That can be a problem because it makes penetration the main event.

“However, we know that people with vulvas require more than just penis-in-vagina action to reach an orgasm.”

Your gender doesn’t define whether you’re submissive or dominant

While there is no gender behind these roles, society often imposes rigid gender roles in sexual dynamics, expecting straight men to be dominant and straight women to be submissive. Queer sex challenges these norms.

Freya said: “Why let gender define how we express ourselves in the bedroom? Instead, think about the role you find most pleasurable, expectations be damned.”

Toys and gadgets are your friends, not foes

Sex toys and accessories are not just for replacing body parts; they can enhance sexual experiences significantly and bring a whole lot of fun to the bedroom.

Freya said: “Lesbian folks are often asked, ‘Don’t you miss dick?’ Cringe aside, sex sans penis doesn’t mean you have to skip the penetration — there are dildos for that.

“Beyond replacing body parts, toys, lubes and accessories can elevate sex to a whole new level.”

Outdated prejudices limit your pleasure potential

Freya said: “People with penises are blessed with this small gland called a prostate, which has the potential to lead to next-level orgasms. For some ridiculous reason, we’ve decided as a society to completely ignore it because prostate stimulation involves getting close to – gasp – the anal region.

“Imagine having something that powerful, and not using it because of prejudice. The world is upside down.”

There is no magical secret to orgasms, just knowledge

Though the orgasm gap between straight and queer women is a real thing, it really doesn’t have to be, and Beducated believe the only difference is a knowledge gap.

Freya said: “You don’t need to have a vulva to know how to turn one on; all you need to do is educate yourself.

“Getting familiar with vulva anatomy means you can find the G-Spot and cervix, for example. Sure, clitoral stimulation is great, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The same goes for male body anatomy – you want to know where the perineum is, or how to approach hand jobs when your partner is (or isn’t) circumcised.”

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Do You Have Issues Sleeping? These Foods And Drinks Could Be To Blame.

If you’re one of the millions who struggle with sleep, you’ve likely tried all the most-talked-about remedies. Maybe there’s chamomile tea in your pantry and melatonin supplements in your bathroom cabinet. You already know it’s not a good idea to consume caffeine in the late afternoon and that even though that glass of wine may help you initially drift off to sleep, you’re going to wake up in the middle of the night regretting it.

Still struggling? You could be unknowingly consuming something that’s to blame. According to sleep doctors, there are more foods and drinks that can mess with sleep than people realise. Rounded up here are seven foods and drinks that sleep doctors recommend steering clear of if you struggle with sleep. Plus, they offer guidance on which foods will work for you, not against you.

7 Foods And Drinks That Surprisingly Can Cause Sleep Problems

1. Spicy foods

Digging into some hot chicken wings or curry at dinner could cause sleep problems when you head to bed. Dr. Abhinav Singh, a board-certified sleep medicine and internal medicine doctor, is medical director of the Indiana Sleep Center and a medical reviewer for Sleep Foundation. He told HuffPost that eating food that’s spicer than you’re used to can increase acidity in the stomach, which can cause acid reflux that can make sleeping difficult. Singh explained that gastric acid is already naturally higher at night, and if it continues to rise, it can disrupt sleep.

Dr. Ruchir P. Patel, a sleep medicine doctor and medical director of The Insomnia and Sleep Institute of Arizona, agreed. “Eating spicy food close to going to bed can cause acid reflux, which can trigger the brain to wake up excessively.”

In addition to triggering acid reflux, Singh said, spicy food can make people feel hotter, which can also disrupt sleep.

2. Pizza (or anything with tomato sauce)

Patel said many people don’t realise that tomato sauce can be an acid reflux trigger, which can disrupt sleep similarly to the effect of spicy food. That means having pizza or spaghetti for dinner could keep you up.

In general, Patel said, it’s best to avoid eating food that’s high in sodium and saturated fat (like pizza, especially if it has pepperoni) three hours before bed because it takes longer to digest, which can then cause sleep problems.

3. Burgers

Like greasy pizza, burgers are another food that takes the body longer to digest. For this reason, Singh said, eating a big, juicy burger too close to bedtime could keep you up, especially if it has ketchup on it, which, again, can trigger sleep-disrupting acid reflux.

If you want a burger that will help with sleep rather than disrupt it, choose a plant-based burger made with lentils, which Singh said are easier to digest, or, if you are going to have beef, go for as lean a cut as possible.

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4. Ice cream

You might want to resist having a bowl of ice cream for dessert if you’re dealing with sleep issues. Dr. Raj Dasgupta, the chief medical adviser for Sleep Advisor, told HuffPost that foods high in sugar, such as ice cream, can keep you up. “The high sugar content can cause fluctuations in your blood sugar, cause stomach issues and keep you alert at bedtime, preventing you from relaxing and falling asleep,” he said.

Singh also said that chocolate ice cream in particular can keep you up. “Many people don’t know that chocolate has caffeine,” Singh said, adding that dark chocolate has more caffeine than milk chocolate. Singh explained that the high fat, high sugar and high caffeine in chocolate ice cream is a triple whammy in terms of disrupting sleep.

5. Milk

In movies, TV shows and children’s books, kids are often given a glass of milk before bedtime. But in real life, Patel said, this can make falling asleep harder.

Milk can trigger acid reflux,” he said, adding that this can happen to both children and adults. Patel explained that the lactose in milk can be problematic. If you are prone to acid reflux but want to have milk in the evening, his advice is to choose a plant-based milk, which is lactose-free and shouldn’t cause symptoms.

6. Vitaminwater

Though most people know that caffeine can disrupt sleep, Patel revealed that not everyone realises they’re consuming something with caffeine in it. “Some fancy water brands, like vitaminwater, can have up to 50 milligrams of caffeine,” he said. Singh added that some electrolyte drinks or powders can also contain caffeine.

7. Peppermint

Sucking on a peppermint after dinner or sipping peppermint tea seems pretty innocuous. But Singh said that this can cause sleep problems for some people. Why? Like many other foods on this list, he said that peppermint can trigger acid reflux, a link most people aren’t aware of.

A handful of nuts is a smart option for bedtime snacking.

Grace Cary via Getty Images

A handful of nuts is a smart option for bedtime snacking.

What To Eat Instead

Now that we know greasy foods, spicy foods and ice cream are off the menu, what can you eat that will work in your favour? All three sleep doctors recommend eating a dinner that includes complex carbs, fibre and lean protein. Examples of complex carbs high in fibre are most vegetables, brown rice, lentils, beans, whole wheat bread and quinoa. Examples of lean protein are poultry and fish.

Dasgupta explained that these types of food support healthy digestion, which in turn is good for sleep. Scientific research backs this up, showing that a diet high in fibre, complex carbs, protein and unsaturated fats is connected with good sleep.

Singh says that meal timing matters, too. If you are going to eat close to bedtime or want a nighttime snack, he recommends keeping the portion small, under 300 calories. “A handful of nuts is a good nighttime snack because it has fibre and unsaturated fats,” he said.

What we eat and drink has a powerful effect on the body, including how well (or not) we sleep. If you have trouble falling or staying asleep, avoid the seven foods and drinks on this list to see if it makes a difference. Soon you might not need that melatonin after all.

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Why ‘Find A Job You Love And You’ll Never Work A Day In Your Life’ Is B.S.

“Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.”

Ever since I entered the workforce about a decade ago, I’ve noticed versions of this expression on inspirational posters, mugs, online memes, laptop stickers and more. The phrase speaks to the idea that if you are passionate about your work, it won’t feel like a chore or a burden, but rather an enjoyable and fulfilling experience in which you want to take part.

This is all a nice idea, but even in a job you love, is it really possible to feel like you’re never working? I spoke to career coaches, psychologists and people who genuinely love their jobs to find out what they think about the expression and how it relates to the reality of work.

It makes sense why the phrase appeals to people.

“When so many people are stressed and burnt out by work, the idea that you could have a job that doesn’t ‘feel like work’ is incredibly appealing,” said Lauren Appio, a psychologist, executive coach and organisational consultant who specialises in mental health at work. “It’s aspirational and soothing for people who live in a culture like ours in the U.S., where there is little social safety net and people typically have to work very hard to make ends meet.”

Many people have very negative relationships with their work. Gallup’s latest State of the Global Workplace report showed job dissatisfaction to be at an all-time high, along with staggering rates of unhappiness and disengagement.

“You hear about the ‘Sunday Scaries’ or a ‘case of the Mondays,’” said career strategist Ana Goehner. “Some people also believe that everyone hates their job. This expression gives people hope that finding a job they love makes their negative feelings about work go away.”

While people commonly attribute the quote to Confucius, there’s very little information regarding the origin of “find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day.” Some citations of the expression date back to the 1980s, but it seems to be even more prominent in the Etsy era of embroidered quote pillows and inspirational memes.

“I think this mantra is almost as millennial as ‘live, laugh, love,’” said Kate Kennedy, author of the upcoming book “One in a Millennial” and host of the “Be There in Five” podcast. “I’m not sure when it became widespread, but I remember hearing it a lot in the early 2010s, whether it was a product of being post-recession, the start-up boom, or being in peak ‘Shark Tank’ America.”

Having entered the workforce amid the economic downturn of the Great Recession, Kennedy believes many young people were made to feel lucky to have any job at all.

“There comes the point of burnout where a lot of the joy is sapped from the hobby when it becomes your meal ticket.”

– Kate Kennedy

“That built-in sense of indebtedness to our employers normalised having a job you tolerated that paid the bills, so having a job you loved seemed like the most glamorous dream of all,” she said.

Meanwhile, technological advancements expanded our career options, with full-time bloggers, Instagram influencers and entrepreneurs monetising their hobbies through e-commerce and other new sources of income. Social media compounded the shift, as we saw people “just like us” showing off their flexible schedules, financial success and other aspects of these new aspirational work lifestyles.

“It’s hard not to find other people’s lives and careers more desirable based on how they portray them online,” Kennedy said. “It’s almost like the volume of options and the frequency of seeing successful examples of exercising those options created a sense of ‘elsewhere’ for careers, where during the moments you are feeling job dissatisfaction, it’s hard not to idealise doing something else.”

But the reality is often detached from the ideal.

“It’s important to acknowledge that not everyone has the luxury of choosing a job they love,” said Elizabeth Pearson, a women’s career coach and author of “Career Confinement.” “For many people, their work is simply a means to an end, and they may not find much enjoyment or fulfilment in it. Additionally, even if you do love your job, there will still be times when it feels like work ― deadlines, difficult projects and long hours can all take a toll on your energy and motivation.”

Having a job you love is no guarantee that you won't face challenges, difficult co-workers and other obstacles that make it feel like work, at least sometimes.

We Are via Getty Images

Having a job you love is no guarantee that you won’t face challenges, difficult co-workers and other obstacles that make it feel like work, at least sometimes.

Stressful situations, terrible bosses, difficult co-workers, economic downshifts and other obstacles can arise no matter how passionate you feel about your work. Thus, “find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life” is, for most people, more of a feel-good statement than a feasible reality.

“I see this idea sold to service professionals: Work for yourself and do what you love,” Goehner said. “But few people discuss the challenges of building a business and performing tasks you dislike. Few people talk about the issues you face and all the learning involved. Doing what you enjoy should be the norm, but it’s still work. You are still trying to make a living.”

Even if you have the freedom to take a leap and monetise your hobby, it probably will still feel like work at times.

“There comes the point of burnout where a lot of the joy is sapped from the hobby when it becomes your meal ticket,” Kennedy said. “The biggest issue for me when I started a product-based business was not having access to capital to outsource or hire out many of the functions to get off the ground efficiently, so it all fell on me to figure out, which ended up with me working way more hours for a lot less money than I made in my corporate job.”

The job doesn’t magically feel like it’s not work once you’ve found a sustainable way to make a comfortable living, either.

“I absolutely love my job, and I’m still beat by the end of the day,” Appio said. “It requires deep, sustained focus and active emotional processing and regulation for hours at a time. Outside of my sessions, I also complete paperwork, manage all of my billing, marketing and communications with clients and colleagues, offer consults for prospective clients, develop and deliver trainings, and pursue continuing education.”

Any job comes with difficult days, including one that overall brings fulfilment and joy. And it’s normal to not always want to devote the required time and effort to the job.

“Even when you find work you love, jobs are temporary,” Goehner added. “In our current economy, you won’t likely spend your entire career with one company and do the same tasks. Even people who dedicate their lives to their careers may have tough days or perform tasks they dislike. You do what you enjoy, receive pay and hopefully get recognised for your efforts.”

What you ‘love’ doesn’t always translate to success or happiness.

“Telling others to ‘do what you love!’ is an oversimplification. Doing what you enjoy is not enough. Doing what you’re good at ― and being willing to stick with something, even when what was fun is no longer so fun ― can be just as important,” said Gorick Ng, a career adviser at Harvard University and author of “The Unspoken Rules: Secrets to Starting Your Career Off Right.”

Consider whether you can leverage certain skills or expertise to succeed in your field.

“Maintaining the belief that work you love isn’t actually ‘work’ can create shame for people who feel burnt out or overwhelmed by work that they do truly love. This is especially common in work like health care, mental health and education.”

– Lauren Appio

“The expression doesn’t help people see possibilities based on where they are in their careers now,” Goehner said. “You can use your skills, gain new ones and find a workplace where you use 60-70% of the skills you enjoy. Sometimes, feeling a sense of expertise and having the freedom to share that at work can help you feel a sense of purpose or connection with your job.”

If you’re feeling drawn to a completely different path, give it a lot of thought and do your research. Ng emphasised that the idea of something is often more interesting than the thing itself.

“Would I like to be a musician? Sure! Can I sing to save my life? No!” he said. “And does singing the same song over and over again in a different city each week still sound fun when I haven’t been home for six months? I’m not so sure.”

“Your number one passion may not be a realistic career,” Goehner added. “I’d love to take care of baby pandas, but the likelihood of this happening is minimal. Also, what you love may not provide a decent living for yourself or your loved ones. It could be a source of income, but you may need to supplement it with another job. Love doesn’t always pay the bills.”

Even if you love a hobby like photography or baking, that doesn't mean you'll necessarily love the business of doing that hobby as a career.

Morsa Images via Getty Images

Even if you love a hobby like photography or baking, that doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily love the business of doing that hobby as a career.

Additionally, consider how you feel about the business of the thing you love, not just the activity or hobby itself.

“It’s great to have a dream job, but it’s also important to remember that you may not like the day-to-day tasks associated with monetising that dream,” Kennedy said. “I started a handmade business selling home decor where I hand-painted things, and I loved the category, I love working with my hands and being creative and I loved the idea of self-employment. But I didn’t spend most of my days doing an artist’s work ― I was mostly buried in things I was less passionate about, like shipping, fulfilment, customer service, and inventory management before I could afford help in those areas.”

Ng shared a time he met a talented photographer and asked if he wanted to pursue his art as a full-time career.

“His response surprised me,” Ng recalled. “He said, ‘I love taking photos, but I hate the business of taking photos. The minute I start relying on photography to pay the bills is the minute I’ll stop loving it.’ Be honest with yourself if you’re thinking of turning an interest into a career. Do you love the business of doing something as much as you love doing the thing itself? Not everyone will say yes to this question and that’s OK.”

The expression sets up workers for dissatisfaction and shame.

One problem with this idea about work? “It can keep people preoccupied with finding their ‘dream job’ and experiencing a chronic sense of dissatisfaction,” Appio said. “Because if your work feels like work ― as work does ― does that mean you’re doing something wrong?”

This fantasy of doing what you “love” and never feeling like you have to work can also lead to feelings of guilt or shame for those who don’t take a huge leap. This is especially true in the age of social media when we frequently see “creators” sharing all the highlights of their careers and few if any of the downsides.

“When I was in a corporate job, I wondered if I had ‘sold out’ or forwent meeting my potential by working in the corporate world,” Kennedy said. “Sometimes, it creates a fear that you actively chose to do something you don’t love when you could have followed your passion.”

There’s a sense of guilt for those who do make the choice to pursue a passion-based career.

“Maintaining the belief that work you love isn’t actually ‘work’ can create shame for people who feel burnt out or overwhelmed by work that they do truly love,” Appio said. “This is especially common in work like health care, mental health and education. Professionals in these areas may feel guilty or ‘ungrateful’ for experiencing compassion fatigue or needing a break.”

She also believes the “find a job you love and you’ll never work” expression can be used to further devalue creative or mission-driven work.

“If you love your job, people will often tell you that you ‘didn’t get into it for the money,’” Appio said. “But we all work to earn money, and even if we’d do our work for free in a different world, we all deserved to be paid well for the work we do.”

But it’s not completely off base.

“This is actually an expression that I believe in myself, and there have been moments where I lived it,” said career coach Jasmine Escalera. “The thing is, I do believe the expression needs to be tailored because it isn’t just about finding work you enjoy, but finding work that is connected to your purpose, to your passions and to your strengths.”

She believes a job that integrates the skills or tasks you’re particularly good at can make you feel inspired and as though you’re not working at all.

“The company culture is such an integral part of enjoying the work, as well,” Escalera said. “So I would say not just find a job you love, but find an environment that will let you be the most successful version of you, and you’ll never feel like you have to work a day in your life.”

Other experts offered their own rewrites of the expression.

“To make the expression accurate, I’d say, ‘Find a job you enjoy and that recognises your efforts, and build time for hobbies and activities that bring purpose outside of work,’” Goehner said. “You are more than your job.”

“I’d tell people if they haven’t found a job they love, to find a job comprised of tasks they like and do what they love on the side,” Kennedy added. “Jobs are often more about the day-to-day than the broader industry or buzzwordy job description, and paying attention to the type of work you find engaging can be a good way to find job satisfaction within the confines of being employed by someone else.”

Whether you’ve monetised a hobby or simply work to pay the bills and seek greater purpose elsewhere, Ng noted that there is no objective right or wrong in your approach to your career, just a difference in personal choices and values.

If you do want to find meaning in work, however, he shared this rewrite: “Find something that brings you joy and purpose every day, and you’ll always have something to look forward to.”

“Ultimately, the idea that you should ‘find a job you love’ is a good one, but it’s not always realistic or feasible,” Pearson echoed. “Instead, it’s important to strive for a job that aligns with your values and provides some level of fulfilment, while also being realistic about the fact that work is still work, even if you love it.”

This story was previously published on an earlier date.

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I’m A Dementia Expert – This 1 Hobby May Be The Best For Building Alzheimer’s Defences

We’ve written before at HuffPost UK about the two questions that experts say can confirm a suspected Alzheimer’s case.

We’ve also shared the foods, exercises, and types of work that may help to ward dementia off.

Which is all well and good ― but what about more fun ways to keep the condition at bay?

Well, in his book How To Prevent Dementia, neurologist Dr. Richard Restak shared that hobbies and “obsessive” interests can be really, really good for your brain health ― and that reading in particular can build up something called “cognitive reserve.”

What’s my “cognitive reserve,” and why does it matter?

Dr. Restak compares people with a high “cognitive reserve” and those without to two people who have lost their homes in a hurricane.

One is a millionaire who barely notices the change, and the other is “wiped out” by the loss as all his assets are tied up in his house.

“As with wealth, cognitive reserves are built up over time,” the neurologist says.

“Cognitive reserve theory refers to the representation stored within the brain of the knowledge, experience, and life events that accumulate during the course of a person’s lifetime,” he adds.

The bigger your “cognitive reserve” is, the more ballast you may have against dementia, the theory suggests ― just as a high muscle mass may help to give you more defences against the side effects of chemotherapy.

“A lifetime investment in building up cognitive reserve leads to healthy cognition and thinking later in life,” Dr. Restak wrote.

So, why reading in particular?

Thanks to the brain’s plasticity, “It is never too late to build your cognitive reserve” by learning something new, or more deeply, or experiencing different things, Dr. Restak says.

No matter what age you are, he says that the best way to build a decent cognitive reserve is to “Pick something that really interests you, grips you in a visceral sort of way, and then obsess (in a good way) about it.”

But that aside, “Reading for pleasure is perhaps the single most effective activity you can engage in for increasing cognitive reserve,” he says.

This is because reading “exerts its most powerful effect on memory,” both episodic and working.

He adds, “Fiction is more brain-challenging than non-fiction because it demands your full awareness of the narrative you are currently reading, while at the same time requiring you to hold in mind the situations and characters described earlier in the book.”

The author referenced a study which found that being immersed in a book was the “magic juice” which improved participants’ cognitive ability over those who did word puzzles.

So before you dismiss your romance novel habit as trashy, remember ― you’re simply strengthening your cognitive reserve.

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People Are Realising How Crocodiles Actually Float, And I Haven’t Stopped Laughing

I can only apologise for our sharing the fact that alligator penises are pretty much constantly erect.

But if it helps to make up for it, we have a far more uplifting (bad word choice?) bit of info about crocodilian creatures ― crocodiles swim, or at least float, in a really, really, reassuringly stupid way.

A presenter for CTV This Morning shared in 2020, “You know when a crocodile you see on the surface of the water looks so scary… what you don’t know is what they look like under the water.”

Which is?

In a clip shared on TikTok by@animals012, a crocodile was seen floating in a clear-sided tank.

The vessel allowed the camera user to see the rest of the croc’s body under its menacing head ― a body which was simply dangling straight below its intimidating snout like a fishing float.

Turns out there’s some serious science behind the spectacle. National Geographic writes that crocodiles and alligators “use their lungs like floats, and shift them about their torso using four sets of muscles.”

Zoologist Adam Britton told Newsweek, “The legs are splayed in a classic stabilising manner [in the viral video], and you can see the belly is enlarged because the lungs are extended toward the belly so pushing the guts into a smaller space.”

He added, “The only difference [in the video] is the crocodile has its body angled down at a steep angle, which is more common with juveniles and sub-adults.”

However, the croc is floating rather than swimming, as swimming involves moving their tail or legs ― unless the current is helping them along.

Nonetheless National Geographic says that floating is how crocs sneak up on their prey as thrashing legs and tails might give them away.

So depending on how deep the water is, crocs with murder on their minds might well bob their way to their prey like the one in the video.

The post recently got a second life

A re-post of the clip by CASTROVANIA, shared last month, garnered some incredulous comments on TikTok.

“It’s 4 AM, I can’t breathe,” one commenter said, while another wrote, “I refuse to believe this.”

“What Instagram sees vs. reality,” another TikToker commented.

“Is nobody gonna talk about how he’s moving without moving?” yet another app user asked.

All I know is I’m going to find those cinematic shots of crocodile eyes peering perilously over the water a lot, lot less scary from now on…

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Before You Set Foot Inside Another Airplane Bathroom… Read This

There’s lots to love about flying — from how quickly it gets us to our destinations to finally being able to watch that trashy movie we normally wouldn’t make time for — but we’re just never going to be psyched about using an airplane bathroom.

They’re small. They’re cramped. They’re often occupied. They’re almost always nasty. But unless we remember to go before our flight takes off and/or we can hold it until we land, we’re probably going to end up in one sooner or later.

So when’s the best time to go? And what can we do to make using them as low-trauma as possible?

That’s what we — Raj Punjabi and Noah Michelson, hosts of HuffPost’s “Am I Doing It Wrong?” podcast — recently discussed with HuffPost senior reporter and travel expert Caroline Bologna. She dropped by our studio to school us on everything we need to know to make flying the friendly skies a little friendlier.

Listen to the full episode by pressing play:

“Some people would say the sweet spot [to use the lavatory] is once the pilot turns off the fasten seat belt sign but before the drink service starts,” Bologna told us. “That can sometimes be a short window, but most people aren’t thinking to go to the bathroom that early in the flight, so that’s a good time.”

If you miss your opportunity then, she recommends waiting until after the drink service, or else there’s a good chance you’ll be stuck behind the cart and stranded in the aisle until you’re able to return to your seat. However, by that point, many people will have finished their drinks, which means more bladders will need to be emptied and you’ll face longer wait times.

Another smart move is using the bathroom after you’ve boarded the plane but before it’s taken off, because it will have been cleaned recently. However, keep in mind you won’t be able to take your time, and you’ll likely have to navigate around other passengers who are trying to get to their seats and stow their luggage.

Once you’ve made it into the restroom, Bologna warns against hovering over the seat while you go.

“You probably do just need to sit on the toilet seat,” she advised. “There’s not much room for squatting, and because of turbulence, if your tush is not on the seat, that could be a real problem if you hit a bump.”

When it’s time to wipe, considering using the facial tissue in the bathroom instead of the toilet paper, which is more likely to be exposed to bodily fluids, since the roll-holder is closer to the bowl.

“The tissue paper is typically located at eye level on commercial aircrafts,” a flight attendant told Bologna, “significantly increasing the likelihood that any liquid splashed on it is in fact just water.”

Once you’re finished, make sure you flush with the toilet lid closed to avoid anything launching out of the bowl.

There could be a poo plume, “especially [because] those flushers are so powerful,” Michelson said.

Another potential issue? Due to the large number of people typically using the airplane restrooms during a flight — not to mention how tiny the space is — foul smells are common and can quickly rage out of control.

Bologna suggests employing a courtesy flush or two to keep your poop’s “air exposure time” as minimal as possible, thereby diminishing how long the odor has to permeate the lavatory.

Neil Patrick Harris — of all people — agrees.

“When you have to go No. 2 in an airplane bathroom, flush while you go, then flush after you go,” the actor told Thrillist. “Then — you laugh, but this is effective — use hand soap,” Harris suggested. “Put it on your hands and all over your arms, and do, like, tai chi moves with your arms.”

Bologna offered another unconventional idea to annihilate odors.

“I’ve heard that flight attendants sometimes use coffee grounds to freshen the air when there’s perhaps a little bit of a biohazard situation,” she said. Asking for a pack of the odour-absorbing grounds — or using one that you took from your hotel room’s mini bar — and unleashing them in the restroom could save your fellow passengers’ noses some misery.

Bologna also recommended wearing something comfortable that can easily be taken up or down or removed while doing your business in an especially tight space. If you’ve taken your shoes off, put them back on before entering the restroom, and make sure to wash your hands thoroughly before you return to your seat.

Finally, if you have a medical condition that causes you to use the restroom frequently or you’re not feeling well, let a flight attendant know. As one Reddit commenter with Celiac disease noted, “They went out of their way to help me. They moved me to a seat in the rear of the plane near the bathrooms and even flipped the door sign to where it always said occupied so it was available for me at anytime… They’re pretty understanding and are there to make sure you have a good flight.”

During our chat Bologna we also learned the disgusting reason why we might want to stop drinking airplane coffee, what to do if we feel sick while flying, and much more.

Listen to the full episode above or wherever you get your podcasts.

Make sure to subscribe to “Am I Doing It Wrong?” so you don’t miss a single episode, including our investigations of the ins and outs of tipping, how to apologise or the secrets of understanding your cat and more.

Need some help with something you’ve been doing wrong? Email us at AmIDoingItWrong@HuffPost.com, and we might investigate the topic in a future episode.

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This Is How Being A People Pleaser Is Ruining Your Career

Being a ‘people pleaser’ sounds like a good thing on the surface, right? You please people?

However, as the British composer Elizabeth Parker once said: “The only thing wrong with trying to please everyone is that there’s always at least one person who will remain unhappy. You.”

This couldn’t be more true in the workplace. While working hard and helping your colleagues can feel good and progress your career, you may soon find yourself burnt out and bitter.

Careers expert and founder of Social Media Jobs, Rob Phelps, spoke with us to explain why people pleasing in the workplace can be harmful, and how to break the cycle.

The dangers of people pleasing in the workplace

It’s a recipe for burnout

While it may just feel like doing ‘small’ things to help others, Phelps warns that saying yes to everything, taking on extra work on top of your own to-do list and prioritising other people’s needs over your own can lead to ‘serious burnout’.

Phelps said: “The constant state of busyness can take over and make it difficult to focus on your core responsibilities, and potentially mean mistakes or missed deadlines, for the sake of helping too many people with their own deadlines.”

It can make you almost invisible

If you spend a lot of your time making sure that you’re helping other people, it’s likely that your own voice and needs will get lost.

Phelps said: “People pleasers often shy away from advocating for themselves or putting forward their ideas, so it can be difficult to get noticed for your contributions and ideas.”

He also warned that this lack of visibility can reduce your chances of getting a promotion or being put forward for new challenges or projects.

It can weaken boundaries

Phelps warned: “People pleasing often means weakening your boundaries, both professionally and personally.

“Your time, expertise, and energy are valuable, and constantly giving them away for free can lead to frustration and resentment, and this can start to bleed into your personal life too.”

He said that you may find yourself checking work emails while on holiday, or saying yes to taking on more tasks when you’re actually off sick, or even accepting friend requests from colleagues on private social media accounts — all of which are ignoring your own boundaries and comfort levels.

How to break free from people-pleasing

Understand why you do it

Phelps said: “The first step is understanding why you feel the need to please everyone around you.

“Is it a fear of disapproval? A lack of clarity on your own goals that makes you take on extra work to avoid having time to work out what you really want?”

He added that talking to somebody you admire at work or even friends and family can help you to get to the root of the underlying cause and address the patterns and start saying no.

Know your own worth

Recognise your skills and contributions! You deserve to be valued for what you bring to the table, and when you feel invisible it can have a serious impact on your confidence in your abilities.

Phelps advised: “Take time to reflect on your accomplishments and successes, to boost your confidence and help you advocate for yourself more effectively.”

Set and keep boundaries

Phelps said: “Setting boundaries isn’t just about saying no to others, it’s about saying yes to yourself. When you prioritise your own growth and wellbeing, you become a more efficient and fulfilled member of the team.”

To do this, you need to learn to politely say no to taking on tasks that aren’t part of your job, explain that you’re prioritising your own workload and offer alternatives solutions if possible.

Phelps added: “You might be surprised at how understanding people are when you stick to your boundaries rather than saying yes to everything.”

Advocate for yourself

Sometimes you have to remind people of everything you do if they’re not paying attention. Don’t be afraid to share your ideas and opinions, even if they’re different from what everyone else is saying. Your perspective is valuable and deserves to be heard.

Be patient with yourself

Finally, Phelps urged, you need to be patient with yourself.

He said: “Remember that change is a gradual process, and after years of saying yes, it can feel strange to start saying no. Be patient with yourself and celebrate progress.

“By putting yourself first, you’ll be able to achieve a healthier work-life balance, and ultimately have a more fulfilling and successful career, rather than letting your desire to keep everyone else happy hold you back.”

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So, Why Do We Call A Pound A ‘Quid’?

You might not know that Scotland has over 420 words for snow. But you’re probably aware that English speakers have an awful, awful lot of different words for “money”.

Dosh. Moolah. Paper. We’ve gotten so good at referencing cash without actually naming it that we’ve got slang for specific sums ― a rack, a grand, a Benjamin (in the US), and of course the humble ‘quid’.

But how did the latter get its “odd-when-I-think-about-it” name to begin with?

We’re not definite, but there are some interesting theories

The word is really, really old ― it’s been in use since the 1600s, Dictionary.com says.

In all that time, it’s never taken on a different plural form. £1 is “a quid,” and £20 is “20 quid.”

According to Investopedia, “Some scholars believe that Italian immigrants extracted the term from ‘scudo,’ the name for gold and silver coins of various denominations used in Italy from the 16th century through the 19th century.”

Other people think it refers to “quid pro quo,” a Latin phrase that Merriam-Webster defines as “a giving or taking of one thing of value in return for another.”

Irish speakers use the word “cuid” to mean a “share” or “part” of everything from time to prizes to pay.

When following “mo” (meaning “my”), it turns into “mo chuid” (said “moh quid” meaning “my part,” “my pay” by extension), which some think English people adapted from Irish soldiers in an older British army.

Ultimately, “although there are many popular theories about how the word quid came to be used in relation to money, the origin of the term is uncertain,” Dictionary.com says.

Some words like “quid” have changed definition

Though most of us understand a “quid” to mean a pound, you might not know that a “bob” wasn’t just a vague term for “a sum of money” when it came out ― it actually meant a shilling.

A sixpence went by the now-defunct “tanner” and “bender,” The Brittania Coin Company says.

“It’s because of this latter nickname that we now refer to getting drunk as ‘going on a bender’ – sixpence used to be enough money to get quite drunk,” they add.

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4 Red Flag Health Warnings Your Lips Are Trying To Give You

Some red flag signs on your nails, like a dark stripe in their beds, can belie health conditions as serious as cancer.

Even a peek at your tongue can let you know if you’re suffering from vitamin deficiencies.

But it turns out your lips can (characteristically) tell all too. According to the NHS, “pink moist lips, tongue, gums and cheeks” are ideal signs of good health.

Here are some signs that something might be wrong:

1) You have pale lips

Per WebMD, pale lips can signify everything from anaemia to vitamin B12 deficiency, oral thrush, low blood sugar, and vitiligo.

The NHS says that blue or grey lips can also be a cause for concern. This is called cyanosis and can arise due to pneumonia, asthma, heart health issues, a blood clot, and certain medications.

You should immediately call 999 if “you or your child’s lips, tongue, face or skin suddenly turn blue or grey – on brown or black skin, this may be easier to see on the palms of the hands, soles of the feet, lips, gums and inside the eyelids,” they add.

2) Scaly patches on your lips

One to two centimetre-long patches on your lips can belie a condition called actinic keratoses, the NHS says.

The “rough, dry, scaly” or “sandpaper-like” patches are usually the colour of your skin or run from pink to brown. They come from sun damage and can also appear on your face, hands and arms, ears, scalp and legs.

You should see a GP if you notice this patch on your lip, spot new ones on your skin, or if “the patches begin to bleed, get bigger, change colour, feel tender or develop into a lump,” the NHS says. They are likely safe, but could be signs of skin cancer.

3) White patches on your mouth

This can come from oral thrush, an easily treatable condition that shows up as white patches on your tongue, mouth, and lips.

It can also create cracks at the corners of your mouth, the NHS says. If you spot these ― along with an unpleasant taste in your mouth, struggling to taste things properly, and possibly a sore tongue or teeth ― get some OTC treatments.

4) Cracked, dry lips

Causes for dry, flaky, and chapped lips range from dehydration, changes in weather, licking your lips, and even some medications. These can be harmless and temporary.

However, Healthline says you should see a doctor if you suspect dehydration or malnutrition. You could also have cheilitis, they say, a condition which sometimes leads to plaques, a dark pink colour, ulcers, and cracks on your lips.

This “is often attributed to infections and inflammatory diseases, such as Crohn’s disease” and might be worth a doctor’s visit, they write.

Speak to your doctor if you notice anything unusual about your lips, especially if it interferes with your day-to-day life.

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This Is The Weird Reason Why Your Cat Sometimes Stares At You With Their Mouth Open

I’ve had my oldest cat for almost 13 years and there’s not a lot that tiny tabby does that surprises or confounds me these days apart from that open-mouth stare.

If you’re a cat owner, you’ll know it. Your usually very lucid cat is suddenly staring at you, mouth agape for around 30 seconds before they seem to break out of this weird glitch and go back to being their furry little selves.

I always assumed it was down to daydreaming but apparently, it’s much more scientific than that.

Why cats sometimes sit with their mouths open

So, no offence to my sweet cat but the last time she did this, I realised if I didn’t get to the bottom of this mystery, I’d always think she was a little strange and that’s probably not fair on my four legged pensioner.

Finally, I found my answer. According to Charlottesville Cat Care Clinic: “Cats have an extra organ that allows them to taste scents in the air, which is why your cat stares at you with her mouth open from time to time.”

… I still think she’s a little strange, actually. This hasn’t fixed anything.

This is called the Jacobson’s Organ and it is something that all cats have, even lions and tigers. The cat centre revealed: “Cats (along with snakes and also a few other mammals) have a magnificent organ called the vomeronasal organ, most often known as the Jacobson’s organ.

“Wrinkling and lifting its lips enables a cat to open up the ducts to the Jacobson’s organ. [This organ] seems to play a large role in the sense of smell in all wild and domestic cats, no matter their size or species.”

Now I can’t stop picturing a tiger, out in the wild, eyes glazing over and mouth hanging open, just taking in the scent of the air.

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