‘I Chose My Dog Over My Boyfriend And Never Looked Back’

When I met Zoe, an 85-pound, deaf American bulldog with different coloured eyes, I knew she was my companion. Seeing her pumpkin-shaped head in my rearview mirror as I drove with her away from the Los Angeles rescue gave me a sense of, “There you are!” as though I’d found someone I’d been searching for for years without realising it.

When my then boyfriend — let’s call him Jax — met Zoe, he had the opposite reaction. “We can’t keep her,” he said, backing away from us toward our living room wall.

Wait, what? His words didn’t compute. Where I saw my sweet, furry friend, Jax saw a monster.

Through difficult conversations, I learned that Jax’s time in a community gripped by generational violence and dog fights led him to associate certain breeds with trauma. It didn’t matter that Zoe stayed calm around him.

Jax said he would try to make it work with Zoe, but couldn’t seem to stay in the house for more than one night with her in it. Within a week, it was clear that Zoe would never be welcome.

Jax owned the home, and I’d only recently moved in, so all I felt I could do was make sure Zoe had a safe place where she was welcome. I sobbed, driving her back to the rescue, and hyperventilated after. “If she ends up with no place to go, call me,” I’d pleaded with the rescue manager. “I would come back for her. I’d figure it out.”

Maybe there was a loving home waiting for her around the corner, I told myself. That thought did little for my heartache, but it kept me from falling apart completely.

Jax and I attempted to carry on, but our experience with Zoe seemed to shed light on our differences that now felt like incompatibilities. He needed things to stay spotless and orderly. I needed my own space to be creative, without stressing over any mess I might make. He enjoyed discotheques and nightlife. I prefer sunrise hikes and turning in early. When he told me he wasn’t yet ready to share my attention, even with a dog, I appreciated his honesty. Meanwhile, I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my independence. Or, I realised, not care for a dog.

“I think we rushed into living together,” I told Jax, which started a heated argument. The conflict strengthened my qualms. So instead of slowing things down, we broke up.

After weeks of searching, I found a guest house in my price range that allowed dogs, then contacted the rescue and learned that Zoe was still available. The news gave me a full body exhale.

“She’s protective and doesn’t always like men,” Zoe’s adoption materials read. Works for me, I thought, signing the agreement.

When Zoe met Mike, my kind, funny and brilliant-without-being-intimidating neighbour, she rushed toward him. I panicked. How protective was she? Rather than attack, Zoe placed her front paws on Mike’s shoulders, like a canine hug.

Within two years, Mike and I got married on the steps we met on. Our wedding party consisted of Zoe, Mike’s parrot Wombley, and our dear friends’ senior beagle Eunice Petunia. When Eunice rolled up in her pink stroller with our rings strapped to her back, I lost it.

The writer with her husband and Zoe on their wedding day.

Stefanie Keenan

The writer with her husband and Zoe on their wedding day.

I’m not alone in having chosen a pet over a partner. When I posted about my experience on social media, over 40 people responded with similar experiences.

Ashley, a school principal in Oklahoma, realized her two large, mixed-breed dogs may be a dealbreaker with her partner when an argument erupted over whether or not the dogs would be allowed on the bed once they all lived together.

“They were here before him,” she told me. “I wasn’t kicking them out of their bed!” Beyond that, he didn’t understand her responsibility to them. “He’d want me to impulsively take an overnight trip, without a sitter or boarding lined up, and get annoyed when I’d say I couldn’t,” she said.

She called it quits when her partner took a job in a rural town. “We would have lived over two hours away from our primary care veterinarian, and 1 1/2 hours away from any 24/7 veterinary emergency rooms,” Ashley said. “That was a hard no for me.”

Jeanne Cross, owner and licensed therapist at EMDR Center of Denver, has helped people navigate breakups related to disagreements about animals. “A pet can contribute to a breakup when disagreements arise about pet care, responsibilities or lifestyle compatibility,” she said. “One partner may want a pet-free home due to allergies or a demanding schedule, while the other insists on keeping the pet.” Conflicts can also arise when one person is “significantly more invested in the pet,” she added.

A pet may even give people the courage to leave a harmful relationship. T., an office employee in California who preferred to remain anonymous, was in a relationship that seemed healthy and happy at first. Over time, frequent arguments gave way to abuse by T.’s boyfriend.

On a smoldering, triple digit day, T. returned home to find a skinny, tick-covered dog that had recently had puppies, lying down under her boyfriend’s truck. He told her he’d known about the dog but ignored her, not even offering water.

“During my search for her owner and trying to get her to lead me to her puppies, my boyfriend said, ‘Just leave her alone,’” T said. “So eventually I had to call Animal Control to pick her up. When they were walking her to the truck, she turned around and looked at me, and my heart just broke.”

Besotted with the dog, T. decided to visit her at the shelter daily until she was spayed and available for adoption. Then, T. took her home. “I had never experienced so much happiness and joy,” she said of that day. “She very quickly became my heart-and-soul dog.”

T.’s boyfriend, who at one point threw garbage at the dog, soon became her ex. “I felt guilty and heartbroken for my dog being brought into that situation,” she reflected. “I hadn’t cared about my own well-being, but I cared about hers… She saved me from a horribly abusive relationship, and I will forever be grateful for her because of it. We saved each other.”

Relationship experts agree that choosing a pet over a partner can be the right decision. But there is a “wrong” motivation, according to Melissa Legere, a licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical director of California Behavioral Health: choosing the pet out of spite.

“If a couple breaks up and one of them insists on keeping the pet…just to hurt the other person, that’s not fair to anyone, especially the pet,” she said. “Doing this turns the pet into a pawn, which isn’t good because pets are supposed to be loved and looked after, not used as a way to get back at someone.”

Approached with genuine care, however, the decision has major benefits: “When you choose the pet, you put its well-being first and can make sure it’s in a stable, loving environment where its needs will come first,” said Legere. “Sometimes, this can be the most responsible and compassionate choice.”

Choosing a pet can also lead to strengthened self-compassion. Ashley, who parted with her ex two years ago, remains happily single. She’ll approach any new relationship differently. “One thing [choosing my dogs over a partner] taught me is that my ideal partner will value and prioritise the same things I do,” she said. “Someone that loves me shouldn’t be asking me to kick the canine loves of my life out of my bed after years of them sleeping with me, or to move somewhere that could leave them without [life-saving] veterinary care.”

The day of our wedding, Zoe started to limp. When a specialist revealed the cost of the surgery she needed, we looked at each other in agreement. Our honeymoon plans turned into a “Zoe-moon,” as we rehabilitated her in our living room for two months. All considering, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

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I Cook This Simple Chicken Thigh Recipe Every Week And I’m Still Obsessed

I like to think of myself as a foodie, a home cook, a kitchen whizz if you will but, in the middle of the week when I’m tired and rushed off my feet, I’m more of a kitchen… wimp.

I just want to have a delicious, nutritious meal with almost 0 effort on my part and minimal cleanup, if possible. Is that really too much to ask?

Well, I thought it was until I stumbled upon this chicken thigh recipe one desperate night when I didn’t know what I wanted but I did know I needed to use up the chicken in the fridge and I’d had a hankering for honey for a while.

Listen, if nothing else, I always know I’ll be eating this through the week.

The chicken thigh recipe that saved my sanity

I came up with this myself so, for the most part, measure with your heart. Maybe measure a little with your heart health, too, let’s not go too hard on the sodium.

The ingredients I use are:

  • Soy sauce
  • Honey
  • Ginger
  • Lemon

I personally am intolerant to garlic but if you are blessed with garlic tolerance, I recommend throwing some in there, too.

First, grab yourself a bowl. Into that bowl, you should grate a nub of ginger, squeeze in some lemon juice, add a little honey and soy sauce. Mix all of these together before adding just a tiny bit of the oil of your choice.

Then, spread this mixture over your chicken thighs.

You can cook them straight away or leave them to marinade throughout the day (which is what I do).

To cook them, either use the air fryer at 190° for 20 minutes, turning halfway through or in the oven for 30 minutes or until juices run clear at 200°.

I usually serve them with basmati rice and some steamed broccoli and spinach with a little sesame oil.

Finally, if you have a little lemon juice and ginger left over, boil the kettle, add them to a mug with some honey and have a lovely, soothing drink while you wait for your culinary masterpiece to cook.

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Is Your Turmeric Actually Benefiting Your Health? Here’s What To Look For.

Golden milk lattes, turmeric face masks, turmeric pills and turmeric powder are everywhere, from social media advertisements to retail stores and shopping malls. You may opt for one, tempted by the promise of natural health benefits.

But before buying into any trend, it’s important to understand what the product is, what’s in it, how to consume it, and how it can benefit you specifically.

“Turmeric being called the ‘new’ superfood is a misnomer,” said New York-based registered dietitian Esther Tambe. “Turmeric has been around in many cultures for a long time, and we should respect that heritage and try to understand the what, why and how.”

But there’s more to the golden spice.

It’s All About The Curcumin

“If you’re turning to turmeric because you’ve heard that it can help fight inflammation, you should know that curcumin is the active ingredient that’s doing the good work,” said Carolyn O’Neil, a registered dietitian nutritionist and co-author of “The Dish on Eating Healthy and Being Fabulous!

However, curcumin content in most turmeric sold in the U.S. is only between 2% and 3% by weight, which means that the turmeric may have a deep yellow-orange colour and earthy flavor, but very little nutritional benefit. High-potency turmerics can contain upward of 7% curcumin.

Lakadong turmeric, also known as haldi, is a high-potency turmeric that contains as much as 7-12% curcumin — and you can always look at your turmeric’s label to see if yours is made with Lakadong (many brands use it).

When Ushma Patel and Malvika Mohan, the co-founders of Humble Origin Superfoods, were researching quality turmeric to source from, they turned to Lakadong. Grown only in the fertile land of Lakadong Village in Meghalaya, a state in northeastern India, Lakadong turmeric is the only one of its kind. Its higher curcumin level comes from the unique growing conditions and the genetic traits of the plant in this region.

“Lakadong turmeric is specifically grown for its medicinal properties, particularly its strong anti-inflammatory and antioxidant effects, making it more valuable for health benefits than regular turmeric,” Patel explained. Educating consumers about turmeric became paramount for the two women, who saw their own health improve by substituting Lakadong for the commercial variety of turmeric they had used most of their lives.

Cooking turmeric with fat will make it easier to absorb, according to experts.

Brian Yarvin via Getty Images

Cooking turmeric with fat will make it easier to absorb, according to experts.

How To Source And Store Turmeric

“Where you source the turmeric from makes a big difference,” confirmed Dr. Vrinda Devani, a board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist who is a practitioner at The Ayurvedic Institute in Asheville, North Carolina.

She recommends asking the manufacturer for a certificate of analysis (most good herbal companies will have one) that discloses the presence of any heavy metals or pesticides and confirms the quality of the turmeric.

Before buying turmeric, Devani said, she always checks the labels (single-origin, organic, GMO-free, sustainably sourced, ethically grown, etc.), visits the company’s website and looks at their values. Producers who are thoughtful in their sourcing should be able to answer those questions fairly quickly, but if they hesitate, that’s not a good sign.

Low-quality and discounted turmeric may be adulterated or contaminated with starch, lead chromate (to enhance colour) or synthetic curcumin, compromising purity.

“Also, many mass-produced turmeric powders lose potency over time due to poor storage (exposure to light, heat, and moisture) on store shelves for months at a time,” Mohan warned.

For best results, opt for fresh, high-curcumin turmeric like Lakadong and store it properly in dark, airtight containers to maintain its effectiveness. Devani additionally recommends purchasing herbs and spices from specialty stores rather than big box retailers, and from boutique brands such as Gaia Herbs, Banyan Botanicals and Organic India.

Store spices in a cool, dark place, like a cabinet or pantry, and away from heat, light and humidity to preserve potency.

Certain Foods Help Your Body Absorb Turmeric

In traditional South Asian cooking, turmeric and other spices are often sautéed with ghee or oil, not just for flavour and technique, but because the fat makes it easier to absorb the curcumin. She recommends balancing turmeric with another extract — piperine (a chemical compound found in black pepper and long pepper) for bioavailability, drinking preferably raw and whole warm turmeric milk at night, and sautéing turmeric in oil with vegetables, rice, quinoa and beans.

A turmeric latte, aka golden milk, contains milk to help your body better absorb curcumin.

Rocky89 via Getty Images

A turmeric latte, aka golden milk, contains milk to help your body better absorb curcumin.

Patel recommends a daily dose of a pinch of turmeric in the morning on an empty stomach combined with black long pepper and a spoonful of honey, coconut oil and warm water. Tambe tells her clients to use turmeric as a natural salt alternative to season food if they are trying to cut down on sodium.

The Truth About Turmeric Supplements

Many nutritionists recommend turmeric supplements if you can’t consume turmeric in its natural form. “Since turmeric typically contains less than 10% curcumin, it’s more effective to take supplements which may contain up to 95% curcumin,” O’Neil said. “Also, since curcumin is often hard for the body to absorb, it is recommended to choose a supplement that includes black pepper and take it with a meal or snack that contains some fats to help enhance absorption.”

Devani also warns against turmeric supplements that have low potency, filler substances or don’t contain activating ingredients (piperine, for example). Always check the labels for a list of ingredients.

Also be aware that you can risk consuming too much turmeric when taking supplements.

According to the Botanical Safety Handbook by the American Herbal Products Association, 8 grams (or 3 teaspoons) of extracted turmeric with a high concentration of curcumin (or pure curcumin supplements) per day is plenty. However, some people end up consuming much more.

“If you have gastro-intestinal side effects, liver or gallbladder issues, or are already on blood thinners or undergoing chemotherapy, turmeric can counteract and cause more harm than good,” Devani warned. It is best to consult your doctor or a dietitian about your eating habits and food-drug interactions before consuming supplements.

Even if you use high-quality turmeric activated with fat and piperine, it is important to be consistent. You won’t get immediate results from just a few golden lattes.

“It is important to understand that herbs and spices are not a cure for a disease, but simply an aid for better overall health. You can’t just take herbs alone and expect everything will be solved for you,” Tambe said.

When used in conjunction with eating well, exercising and maintaining a balanced lifestyle, turmeric can help enhance your well-being and immunity and help your recovery from ailments. A popular ancient Ayurvedic proverb says, “Without proper diet, medicine is of no use. With a proper diet, medicine is of no need.”

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The 1 Little-Known Factor That Could Affect Your Heart Health

There are a handful of things you probably associate with better heart health: regular exercise, a healthy diet and quitting smoking being some of them.

But did you know that getting out in the sunlight, and taking a daily vitamin D supplement in winter, could also work wonders for your ticker?

One study, using data from almost 300,000 UK citizens and published in the International Journal of Epidemiology, suggested having a vitamin D deficiency can cause inflammation in the body, which could then contribute to heart and circulatory disease.

And another, from the University of Leeds, found a daily dose of vitamin D improved heart function in those with chronic heart failure.

Dr Christopher Broyd, consultant cardiologist at Nuffield Health Brighton Hospital, told The Independent: “A lack of sunlight exposure can lead to vitamin D deficiency, which has been linked to higher blood pressure, inflammation, and an increased risk of heart disease.

“Safe sun exposure or supplementation can help maintain heart health.”

How much vitamin D is enough?

It’s worth noting that between April and September, sunlight and a healthy balanced diet is enough to meet most people’s vitamin D needs in the UK.

Foods rich in vitamin D include salmon, sardines, red meat, liver, eggs and some fortified foods like cereal and spreads.

Studies have found about 5-10 minutes of sun exposure on the arms and legs; or the hands, arms and face; two or three times a week is sufficient.

In the winter though, it can be harder to get enough sunlight to meet our needs.

The British Heart Foundation (BHF) suggests that between October and March the UK’s light levels aren’t strong enough, which is why it suggests a daily 10mcg vitamin D supplement. The UK government also backs this approach.

Babies up to the age of one need 8.5 to 10 micrograms of vitamin D a day, according to the NHS. Those on formula milk will already be getting this as their milk is fortified with the vitamin, however breastfed babies will need an additional supplement.

Here’s to a happy heart.

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Here’s The Exact Best Time Of Day To Eat Protein If You Work Out

I’ve been going to the gym for about six months now, and four of those have been spent trying to train my social media algorithms to show me anything other than protein content.

Influencers and fitness fanatics alike seem to be obsessed with the nutrient, which helps to build and repair our cells (including our muscles). They can even help to regulate fluid control and our immune system.

It’s not that they’re wrong to enthuse about the dietary staple, which has been linked to feelings of satiety and possibly even a speedier metabolism.

It’s just that the information is so conflicting ― should we have protein immediately before or straight after a workout, and how much, and does timing really matter at all?

There is an ideal “protein window”, but it’s likely later than you think

I’ve seen a lot of videos admonishing people for not eating in the optimal “protein window” either before or after their workout, which is usually presented as lasting for about a quarter of an hour.

Well, some good news: not only does overall protein consumption throughout the day seem to matter more than timing, but according to the International Society of Sports Nutrition (ISSN), that “anabolic window” is longer than you think.

The ISSN found that a protein intake of 1.4–2g protein/kg body weight a day is enough for most exercising people, and that eating protein in a two-hour window after finishing your workout can help to build your muscle mass.

One exception might be people who do “fasted” exercise, or work out on an empty stomach. They might benefit from eating protein soon after their workout because they haven’t had any for a while, a 2003 study suggests.

Older people might want to take protein just before bed

We’ve written before at HuffPost UK about how muscle loss ― or sarcopenia ― is associated with ageing and can cause health issues.

That’s part of the reason why older people need to pay particular attention to their protein intake.

To prevent muscle loss, a 2016 paper suggests that taking 40g of protein before bed can be helpful, especially following exercise.

That’s because the nutrient becomes more available to our bodies as we sleep.

Another 2011 paper found that older men who consumed protein before bed retained more muscles than those who ate a placebo, regardless of activity level.

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People Are Sharing The Things They Believed As Kids (Which Turned Out To Be Untrue)

When you’re a kid there are lots of things you believe that aren’t necessarily true.

Most of the time this is down to what your parents have told you (like the police will tell you pull you over if you don’t turn the light off in the back of the car), but other times it’s just what you’ve made up in your head – and nobody has questioned it, so it’s taken as gospel.

In an amusing thread posted on Mumsnet, user @Carryonrunning asked the masses: “What do you remember from your childhood that you now realise you really misunderstood?”

Cue, a hilarious thread of eyebrow-raising confessions… (If you’re a parent reading this, it’s a useful reminder that kids take things very literally.)

I thought you got given an actual sack when you lose your job

“My dad came home from work one day with a hessian sack he’d acquired from somewhere. He then told my mum, ‘I’ve been given the sack’. It took me years to realise that a) he was joking and b) you don’t get given an actual sack when you lose your job.”

– BlossomCat

I thought you became an adult at 100 years old

“As a young child I thought you became an adult at 100 years old. Imagine my shock when someone at primary school told me it was just 18. I had a full on existential crisis when I realised most people don’t even live to 100!”

– Flustration

I thought you were meant to drive with one wheel either side of the central road line

“My family didn’t have a car, so my main experience of driving when I was really young was my grandad. He only drove us occasionally and from these rare experiences I worked out that the white line in the road was a guideline to keep you straight – a wheel each side of it. When I got to about 8 I began to wonder how cars going in opposite directions could both straddle the centre line without crashing. As I got older I realised my grandad was a really bad driver.”

I thought ‘cash back’ was free money

“In the shop when my mum and dad answered that they didn’t want cash back I always wondered why they turned down free money.”

– EdithGrantham

I thought it was the last day of the world

“I remember leaving primary school one day and I heard the teacher say to a friend’s Mum, ‘It’s the last day tomorrow.’ I must have been about five. I actually thought she meant that it was the last day of the world. I remember laying in bed that evening and worrying and worrying… In the end I went downstairs, crying to my Mum and asked her if it really was the last day of the world the next day.

“To my amazement, she looked at the calendar. I remember thinking, surely the people who make the calendars wouldn’t know when the last day is?! In reality she was just checking that it definitely was the last day of term. She hugged me and explained that the next day was just the last day of term, not Armageddon!”

– Feelinghurt2

I thought my mum’s heart would miss a beat and she would die

“I heard my mum talking on the way home from picking me up at school, to some of her mum friends. She said something like ‘my heart missed a beat’ and from that moment on for YEARS I was afraid that hearts could do this. I worried that my mum’s heart would miss more beats and she would die, or that my heart might miss a beat and something bad would happen. I’d lie in bed listening to my heartbeat and wondering if I’d notice if it missed one…”

– Vroomfondleswaistcoat

I thought giving the middle finger meant ‘up and over’

“I remember my dad giving the 1 finger salute when driving and me asking my mum what that meant. With a rather frosty look at my dad she said it meant up and over. I then got confused as to why I got into trouble doing it.”

I thought the olden days were actually black and white

“I thought that the ‘olden days’ really were black and white and there really was no colour – just like the photographs. I thought that at least they had grey and different tones of black and white.”

– Whatthechicken

I thought To Let signs meant public toilet

“I used to think that when you saw a ‘To let’ sign on a building, it was a polite way of saying there’s a public toilet in there.”

– MathsMum3

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Here’s How Often You’re Actually Meant To Replace Your Toothbrush, And Oh Dear

I only recently realised that you’re not actually meant to “scrub” your teeth with an electric toothbrush ― instead, we’re meant to glide the head gently over each tooth, neither moving it up or down nor side to side.

This comes after I learned you’re meant to floss your teeth far deeper than first thought and that the floss picks I’ve relied on for so long are nowhere near as good as the string kinds.

I’ve even messed up using mouthwash.

All of which is to say it’s not so surprising that I’ve just discovered how often you’re meant to change your toothbrush or toothbrush head.

What do the experts say?

You should get a new toothbrush every three to four months, according to NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde.

Health information site Healthline agrees, adding that electric toothbrush heads might need to be changed as often as every 12 weeks ― especially if you apply a lot of pressure to your toothbrush.

By that stage, they say, the bristles may have started to warp, mesh or mat.

That’s an issue because, according to toothbrush manufacturer Philips, “brush head bristles are designed to reach between your teeth, and pressing too hard actually mashes them, rendering them incapable of doing their intended job”.

A 2012 study found that bristle flaring ― that spread-out look your brush gets after a while, especially if you brush hard ― results in less effective brushing, leaving way more bacteria and plaque behind than a fresh brush would.

No matter how long it’s been since you last changed your toothbrush or brush head, the NHS recommends changing it as soon as you notice any wear.

Should I change my toothbrush after being sick?

Healthline says that ideally, yes ― especially if you’ve had a disease like strep throat or viral infections that affect your throat and mouth.

But they add that trying to “sanitise” your brush, for example by dipping it in mouthwash or very hot water, can actually spreads more germs than it kills off.

For everyday use, simply running tap water over your brush when it’s done is the best method, they add.

Well, at least I’ve got one single dental hygiene rule right…

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Here’s What Spain’s So-Called ‘Tourist Ban’ Will Really Mean For Brits

Holiday-loving Brits have begun to panic about an imprecisely-named “tourism ban” in Spain, which is the UK’s number two holiday destination after domestic stays.

It’s true that some rules and regulations have changed in Málaga, the capital of Costa del Sol, this month, as the protests against over-tourism that took place last year have had an effect on legislation across the country.

But rest assured, sun-seekers; there are no signs an outright “tourism ban” is set to come into place in Spain, or even in Costa Del Sol.

The region, which includes cities like Marbella and Torremolinos, has introduced a three-year ban on the registration of any new holiday rentals in 43 areas.

Alicante and Madrid introduced similar laws last year.

Here’s what the new legislations actually mean for Brits:

Yes, you can still book a holiday

The new ban prevents new holiday rentals from being registered. It doesn’t get rid of existing holiday accommodation, except for some holiday flats that were registered after February 22.

Those will have to give up their licences if their access and resources aren’t separate to those of the other residents.

Many Airbnbs, hotels, and other tourist accommodation will remain as-is.

Málaga’s ban is expected to extend past the three-year proposal it’s currently based on. It’s part of a larger plan to lower disruptive noise in the city.

In parts of Costa Del Sol, tourist accommodation makes up 8% of the rental market.

Cities like Seville may follow suit, the Mirror reports.

Are there any other changes to visiting Spain?

Yes. Those hoping to buy a house in Spain from outside of the EU, including the UK, will soon have to pay a 100% property tax if they’re non-residents (ie if you live in Spain less than 183 days a year).

This is yet another measure to try to address Spain’s mounting housing crisis, the country’s leader says.

Meanwhile sleeping, camping, or swimming at Benidorm’s beaches between 00:00 am and 7 am will be met with fines of up to €1,200 this year.

Fires and BBQs are banned; smoking and drinking on the beach, as well as peeing in the sea and bringing your dog to a non-pet-friendly beach will also result in fines.

You’ll also need to provide more info than most Brits are used to giving (including home addresses) when booking cars or hiring a hotel. This will apply to locals, too.

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My Dad Has A Serious Illness. He Started Eating McDonald’s And I Couldn’t Believe What Happened Next.

Several years ago, my dad was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis. The news was a shock. At 84 years old, Daddy had been dedicated to his physical health for decades. He played tennis twice a week, ate my mother’s low-fat meals, and spent lots of time outdoors on their organic vegetable farm.

But the diagnosis did explain the symptoms he’d been experiencing. He got out of breath more quickly. He had a cough that wouldn’t go away. And he’d lost so much weight, none of his old clothes fit — likely, the doctors said, because taking in less oxygen limited his exertion, thus lessening his appetite.

Pulmonary fibrosis is considered a progressive, terminal disease; there is no cure for the irreversible scarring of the lungs that occurs. But my dad told me not to dwell on that — and not, under any circumstances, to google it. All that mattered, he said, was that it wasn’t cancer.

“Maybe I will reverse it,” he mused, “and demonstrate that it’s reversible after all!”

He approached his diagnosis with his trademark jovial attitude, and I didn’t doubt the sincerity of his optimism, but I had a hard time feeling it myself. The pandemic had been raging for two years, and I couldn’t help but think my dad was one COVID infection away from life-threatening complications. I also found his new physical limitations hard to watch — the way he stopped to catch his breath, panting, after walking down the stairs; the rope from his tool shed now threaded through his belt loops to hold up his pants.

To slow the progression of the disease, the doctors issued a list of suggested life modifications, and my dad hated all of them. Stop mowing the hay fields? Stop heating the house with the wood stove? These activities had likely contributed to his lung scarring, doctors said, but they were also some of my dad’s greatest joys.

At first, he rebelled. He bought an air purifier to offset the wood stove’s impacts. He took to riding the tractor with a mask in his pocket, which he could pull out if anyone asked (none of us ever saw him wearing it).

The author's father making hay on his North Carolina farm in May 2024.

Courtesy of Sara Heise Graybeal

The author’s father making hay on his North Carolina farm in May 2024.

Eventually, my mom used a study linking wood stove use to lung cancer in women to persuade my dad to give up this one earthly pleasure for her sake. After that, he proved slightly more open to change.

When his doctor mentioned that alcohol often worsened a secondary medical condition he was dealing with, Daddy surprised everyone by quitting immediately. The bottle of bourbon I’d already chosen for his birthday sat on my shelf untouched.

My dad’s lifestyle choices were trending in the right direction, but there was still one big problem: his weight.

Daddy had once been 6 feet tall and 155 pounds. Now at 5 foot 8 and just 123 pounds, he weighed less than anyone else in the family. At lunch, he ate peanut butter smeared on a single slice of bread and claimed to be full. Mom pressed him to take second helpings at dinner, but she had increasing difficulty finding food he liked.

For the last four decades, my mother had sold organic fruits and vegetables at a local farmer’s market and assembled them into fresh meals for her family. She taught my brother and me to eschew fast food, reject sodas and always opt for low-fat milk and ice cream. When we played away soccer games in high school, our parents came to watch but refused to eat at the Arby’s or KFC or Golden Corral that everyone else headed to after the game.

“It’s too depressing in there,” they told us.

If Mom was our health food leader, Daddy was her willing right-hand man. But along with the other changes his body had undergone, his taste buds also seemed to weaken around the time of his diagnosis. He no longer enjoyed salads and rice and beans the way he used to. He cared more about color and texture now, Mom noted irritably. He refused leftovers because, once in their Tupperware containers, they no longer seemed visually appealing.

With her own health issues to worry about — including high cholesterol and a predisposition for diabetes — Mom kept cooking the same plant-based meals she always had, and continued trying to convince Daddy to eat larger portions of them. But he remained stubborn, and the risk his low weight presented felt increasingly dire.

The author's mother and father in Pittsboro, North Carolina.

Courtesy of Sara Heise Graybeal

The author’s mother and father in Pittsboro, North Carolina.

I was torn over this food dilemma. On one hand, my dad was far too skinny, and everyone agreed this was now the most urgent medical issue to address. On the other hand, was it my mom’s responsibility to fix it?

I started cooking beef stews and chicken casseroles on the weekend and driving them down to my parents’ farm. This way, my mom could keep eating her vegetables, and my dad could load up on fat and protein. However, this fix was unsustainable — as a working mom of a toddler, my schedule was far from predictable. Any bump in the road meant it could be several weeks before I had time to take my dad more meals.

The solution came so quietly and unexpectedly that, at first, we missed it. One day at lunchtime, my dad was driving home from playing tennis with some friends and felt an unusual sensation — hunger. A McDonald’s just north of our town had opened up several years before, but no one in our family had ever stopped there. Now, as he saw the restaurant’s giant yellow M glinting in the sun ahead of him, Daddy felt a strangely powerful urge to stop. He pulled in, parked his car, and did something he’d never done before: ordered Chicken McNuggets and fries.

Daddy drove home slowly, his meal open in the passenger seat, savoring the extravagant taste of this new food.

“Ready for lunch?” Mom asked when he arrived.

“I picked something up on the way,” Daddy told her, and, imagining his typical granola bar or pack of peanut butter crackers, she sighed.

Two days later, Daddy did it again. Sitting at McDonald’s, sunlight spilling in through the window, he worked through McNuggets, French fries and the New York Times headlines on his phone. Despite his tennis loss that morning, he came home cheerful. Mom couldn’t figure it out.

A few days after that, Daddy decided that the only thing that could make McDonald’s taste even better was to eat it in his favorite chair at the head of the dining room table. So he ordered his meal to go, brought the bag home, and unveiled his McNuggets and fries in front of my mom, who was crunching her salad. She was predictably disgusted. But as the salty grease flooded his mouth, he found he didn’t really care.

Daddy’s juicy story made its way around the family. After 37 years of eating chickpeas, kale and tofu, he had found his way to McDonald’s. Tickled, I took my son to the drive-thru to see what all the fuss was about. We got enough takeout for all of us and unloaded it onto my parents’ dining room table.

Mom, tight-lipped, tipped leftover quinoa into a bowl. Daddy, delighted, accepted his large carton of fries.

I watched Mom’s face as we chowed down in front of her. I knew how difficult this might be for her. She had laboured so diligently to feed us well for so many years, and now we seemed to be throwing her hard work back in her face.

But I also saw a softening — a brightening. She didn’t have to make dinner that night, and after so many evenings in the kitchen, that was a blessing.

The author's father enjoying his birthday cake in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, in September 2023.

Courtesy of Sara Heise Graybeal

The author’s father enjoying his birthday cake in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, in September 2023.

The bigger blessing came at my dad’s next doctor’s appointment, where he learned he’d gained 10 pounds. “You’re on the right track!” his doctor cheered.

“But here’s the thing,” said Mom. “Does it matter how he’s gaining the weight?”

Daddy grimaced at her.

“To be frank,” the doctor replied, “the man’s 87. He could be eating chocolate bars all day and I’d be OK with it. Whatever he’s doing, he needs to stay the course.”

If there’s one thing Mom respects, it’s a doctor’s orders. So Daddy kept going to McDonald’s. Mom kept making her salads. And while his battle with pulmonary fibrosis continued, I slowly stopped worrying that a common cold would knock Daddy sideways. The day he unstrung the rope from his belt loops — and his pants didn’t fall — we all cheered.

My son and I aren’t McDonald’s converts. Unlike Daddy, we don’t go two or three times a week. But once my son got a taste of the PlayPlace, I knew we’d be back at least occasionally. I have to admit, their Big Breakfast tastes surprisingly good on a Sunday morning, and a mouthful of hot fries after a soccer defeat does lift our spirits somehow.

I’d never say that fast food is the cure for all — or most — of life’s problems, or even that it makes a great choice for a meal. Few medical professionals would prescribe a bag of grease and salt as a solution to anything. But watching the joy those McNuggets and fries brought my dad — not to mention the weight they’ve helped him gain and maintain — made me rethink what I consider absolutes in my own life.

Maybe there are times to ease up and experience something new. Maybe an answer to our prayers can come from the most unexpected place. It might not be a Big Mac that’s going to change my — or your — life, but maybe it’s something else we’ve never tried. Maybe joy is waiting down the road, just beyond that offramp we’ve never taken. Maybe we should try it sometime.

Sara Heise Graybeal is a writer and journalist with an MFA in fiction from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Her writing has appeared in The Rumpus, Hobart Pulp, Beloit Fiction Journal, Colorado Review, TODAY, Business Insider, and elsewhere. Sara lives in Greensboro, North Carolina, with her 7-year-old son. Connect with her on Substack @saragraybeal or Instagram @sarageeeeee.

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So THAT’s Why Your Nose Streams When It’s Cold Outside

On those ridiculously early mornings when I leave the house and it’s still dark and positively baltic outside, my nose decides it is faster than the wind, it is a long-distance runner, it is… Paula Radcliffe.

Some people get a runny nose, mine is more like a tsunami. All this liquid comes from nowhere and I end up rushing to meet my train with a tissue wedged firmly under my leaking nostrils.

The issue is so bad that even when I’m at home, and it’s a bit cold because the heating hasn’t yet kicked in, I start sniffing and my other half gives me ‘the look’ and then remarks: “Have you got another cold?!”

But The thing is, dear reader, I do not have another cold. My nose just hates the cold.

So why does this happen?

It’s all to do with our nasal lining becoming royally miffed by the change in temperature.

As Dr Deborah S. Clements, of Northwestern Medical Group, explains: “When we breathe in, our noses warm the air and add moisture to it as it travels down into our lungs.

“Cold, dry air irritates your nasal lining, and as a result, your nasal glands produce excess mucus to keep the lining moist.

“That can cause those big, heavy drops that drip from your nostrils.”

While it’s pretty annoying, there is a very useful reason why our bodies want to warm up the air, according to Verywell Health.

This snot protects the mucous membranes in your nose and also the bronchioles (air sacs) in your lungs from any damage caused by the cold air.

What can you do about it?

Wearing a scarf over your nose and mouth in cold weather can help, because the air warms up before it hits your sensitive nasal passages.

If you’re indoors and find your nose is running a lot, a humidifier might also help to keep your nose from drying out.

But ultimately it’s probably best to make sure you’re stocked up on tissues throughout winter.

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