If anal sex is on the menu tonight, you might be worried about what you ate beforehand. After all, if letting one rip embarrasses you in yoga class, then getting intimate with a partner can feel even more anxiety-inducing.

Maybe you’re wondering whether that chili and beans for dinner was a terrible idea before a roll in the hay.

And while certain foods can make things a little less comfortable – like, say, chili and beans – experts say there’s also a huge misconception around the idea of being “perfectly prepared” for anal sex.

“There’s this idea that you can be perfectly clean for anal play, but the anus is where poop exits the body,” Javay Frye-Nekrasova, a sex educator at We-Vibe, tells HuffPost. “Mess is to be expected, regardless of how you prepare, because we are human, and that’s life. And that’s OK!”

She adds, “Trust me, even as a sex educator I still have instances where the realities of a booty happen.”

In other words, you don’t need to obsessively restrict food or try to achieve some impossible standard of being ready “back there”.

“The rectum, the part of the body involved in most anal play, is not a storage chamber. For most people, most of the time, it’s actually empty,” Dr. Jenni Skyler, a sex therapist, says. “Stool is stored higher up, in the colon, and only moves down when your body is preparing to have a bowel movement.”

“This is good news,” she continues. “It means that with reasonable preparation, anal play is far less messy than most people fear.”

Still, certain foods can increase bloating, gas, digestive urgency or discomfort, which can make people feel less relaxed and confident during anal play.

Here are the foods experts say are best to avoid before anal sex – and a few suggestions of what to eat instead.

According to Skyler, spicy foods can irritate the digestive tract and speed up digestion, which may lead to looser or more unpredictable bowel movements.

“Spicy foods are not fully broken down during digestion,” she says. “They irritate the digestive tract on the way in and out.”

Registered dietitian Kristen Kuminski adds that capsaicin – the compound responsible for heat in spicy foods – “passes through the digestive tract and causes irritation on the way out.”

If you already know spicy foods tend to upset your stomach, experts say the hours before anal play probably aren’t the time to test your limits with hot wings or extra chili oil.

Heavy, oily foods can sit heavily in the stomach and may contribute to bloating, sluggishness and loose stool.

“Being ‘stuffed’ – pun intended – only makes it more uncomfortable,” Frye-Nekrasova says.

Skyler adds that greasy foods are harder to digest overall, which can make people feel “sluggish and bloated – the opposite of relaxed.”

Beans, lentils, broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts and onions are all healthy foods, but they can also increase gas production.

Kuminski says high-fibre foods eaten in large amounts right before anal sex are some of the biggest offenders when it comes to bloating and digestive discomfort.

Skyler stresses that passing gas is completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of, especially when it happens in the bedroom. But if someone is already anxious about anal sex, feeling bloated or gassy can make it harder to relax and stay present.

“These foods are great,” she says. “Just maybe not at lunch on the day of.”

Even mild lactose intolerance can trigger bloating, gas or digestive upset.

“If you know dairy sometimes disagrees with you, the hours before anal play are a good time to skip the cheese plate and the ice cream,” Skyler says.

Kuminski notes that even mild lactose sensitivity can lead to “bloating and urgency that is badly timed”.

Sugar alcohols like sorbitol, xylitol, erythritol and mannitol – commonly found in sugar-free gum, protein bars and “diet” snacks – are well known for causing bloating and digestive distress.

“This one surprises people,” Skyler says, noting they can sometimes trigger loose stool “quite dramatically”.

Sure, that bottle of wine at dinner might have loosened your inhibitions, but that’s not the only thing it loosened. Alcohol can irritate the digestive tract, while also loosening stool and contributing to dehydration.

But Skyler says there’s another concern, too: drinking heavily can make it harder for people to stay aware of discomfort or pain during anal sex.

“In large amounts we struggle to be present and can override our pain receptors,” she says.

Kuminski similarly notes that alcohol “loosens inhibitions but also loosens gut motility,” which can create unpredictable bowel behaviour.

Even if you haven’t eaten any of the foods above, experts say timing still matters. “A huge meal eaten right before play can trigger the urge for a bowel movement at an inconvenient time,” Skyler says.

Kuminski recommends giving yourself three to four hours after a meal before anal play, adding that “timing matters as much as what you eat.”

Experts generally recommend sticking to foods that support predictable digestion and well-formed bowel movements.

Skyler recommends:

• soluble fibre
• lean proteins
• cooked vegetables
• bananas
• lots of water

Kuminski also suggests low-fibre, easy-to-digest foods in the hours beforehand, including:

• white rice
• eggs
• plain chicken
• bananas

“It’s basically the same logic as eating before a long run or race where you don’t want any GI surprises,” she explains.

But Frye-Nekrasova says people shouldn’t become obsessive or restrictive around food before sex.

Instead, she recommends simply paying attention to your own digestion and giving yourself enough time between eating and anal play.

“A good rule of thumb I follow is to try to stop eating at least three hours before planned anal play,” she says. “Just to give my body enough time to digest food so I can have a bowel movement beforehand.”

She adds that everyone’s digestion works differently, so there’s no perfect formula.

“If you are more regular with your digestion and bowel movements, shorter timeframes could absolutely work for you,” she says.

Rather than stressing over eating “perfectly,” Frye-Nekrasova suggests planning ahead in realistic ways – especially on date nights involving heavier meals.

“If you’re going to dinner and it’s going to be something heavier, then planning an activity afterward to give yourself enough time to digest the food before sex would be a good move,” she says.

Most importantly, she stresses that relaxation and communication matter more than perfection.

“Bodies are weird,” Frye-Nekrasova says. “I know that being told to relax doesn’t actually help anyone relax, but I do want to say it because being relaxed helps our bodies function in the typical, expected way (aka digestion and bowel movements) a lot easier than if we are stressed.”

Frye-Nekrasova adds, “And stressing about being perfectly prepared is actually the opposite of what helps people relax.”