Why People of Colour Should Interview Their Interviewer When Applying For Jobs

Posted on 06/09/2021 by Boris Clair

As someone who’s had more than 20 jobs (fluctuating from temporary positions to career-defining roles), nearly all of my interviewers have been white.

Each interview I’ve stepped into, I’ve known my otherness – my ethnicity, my religion, and even my gender – was going to be a player during this time.

Though I’ve used this to my advantage to impress employers, I wish I’d spent time being wooed by them too. Because I’ve ended up working for companies which are toxic, ruthless and uncaring.

Understandably, the power dynamics in a job interview are unlike anything else; you’re supposed to show yourself off and grovel for approval. That doesn’t leave a lot of time to get to know the company and how it can benefit you.

The only part of the process – the “Do you have any questions for us?” segment – is usually a closing feature, where participants often ask questions that will say more about them, than the company (the “look, I’ve done my research about you” trick).

But there’s a real reason to use the final moments of an interview to quiz your interviewers and get to the nitty gritty. After all, you also need to find out if the company is the correct fit for you – and crucially, how they nurture diverse talent.

The pandemic especially has shown the importance of having employers that work for individual needs. And where they don’t, many staff are quitting in their droves – a Microsoft survey of more than 30,000 global workers showed 41% were considering quitting or changing professions this year. In the US alone, April saw more than four million people quit their jobs, according to the Department of Labor – the biggest spike on record.

A few months ago (before joining HuffPost), I was interviewed for a leadership position, but I had a lot of questions and arranged for a follow-up interview where I could take the time to enquire about everything.

I’m glad I did, because the recruiters showed their true colours. When it came to negotiating salaries, I was told by the CEO it was concerning for me to discuss money for a role that was otherwise a ‘compliment’ to me.

I promptly wrote the letters NO on my notebook as he spoke, deciding to reject the offer. Given that ethnic minority women are overlooked for such positions and grossly underpaid (Black, Asian and other minority ethnicities lose out on £3.2 billion a year in wages compared to white colleagues doing the same work), it didn’t feel concerning at all to bring up money.

If we didn’t have this conversation so early on, I may have ended up working for a company that would make me unhappy. It might feel like you’re being ungrateful, but there’s merit in quizzing your interviewer – it shows recruiters you’re keen to know your place in the company, as well as signalling to you any potential red flags about them.

An interview is a chance to see if the company works for you.

For 27-year-old Masuma*, a Muslim woman from Manchester, who applied for a marketing position, asking questions about faith provisions led to positive changes.

“I once asked if there was a prayer space and the reply was ‘you can use the board room but there’s usually meetings in there so maybe avoid booking it during lunch breaks’ – which were prayer times so that was going to be a problem,” she tells HuffPost UK.

“While I never got the job, because it was definitely out of my reach, I got an interview anyway. The recruiters really liked me and then offered me a role that was linked to the original. I took the job because it was really exciting and since then, I’ve voiced a lot of my concerns regarding prayer space and other things like diversity and inclusivity, which they’ve listened to.”

For 33-year-old Hina Jabeen, from Solihull, West Midlands, asking questions resulted in a confrontation which secured her feelings towards the recruiter.

“I’m an expert at interviewing,” she says. “Over the past two years since being made redundant, I’ve interviewed 174 times including getting to final stages. And the majority of the time there was a 50/50 rate of rejections against me rejecting the offer.”

For Jabeen, the answers to questions she had left her disappointed, so she turned offers down. Some of the questions interviewers asked her, including invasive ones about her childcare responsibilities, also resulted in rejections on her part.

“I rejected eight offers where I had put in my CV with a western name and when they offered the role under the western name, I rejected the offer and explained that my CV/application under my actual name wasn’t even considered. Both applications were identical, just name changes,” she says. “In the interview, I asked why and they denied any bias and accepted my rejections. There was one incident where the company identified bias and ‘took action to rectify the discrepancy’.

“But 176 interviews later and I finally have the perfect role, so [I’m] happy with the combination of rejections.”

Of course, there’s a way to be tactical about questioning your interviewers – and Hira Ali, an author, career coach, and leadership trainer, advocates doing it in a strategic way.

“A relevant and appropriate number of questions may be three to five, which indicates genuine interest and natural curiosity,” explains Ali. “Asking questions also shows that you have done your research and that you have knowledge of the role and the industry―it’s also another opportunity to demonstrate your confidence and highlight your knowledge and experience. Finally, the right questions can help you decide whether this company is aligned with your goals and aspirations or not.”

To gauge compatibility, asking certain questions will also be beneficial, especially if you’re an ethnic minority trying to understand the company’s diversity.

Ali adds: “I would definitely recommend asking about the team’s diversity composition and what measures they have in place to ensure that people from minority backgrounds are given ample opportunities to thrive and reach the top. And if it’s not satisfactory, ask for the challenges they are currently facing in implementing it and how they aim to address it. Honesty and transparency is always preferable over half-hearted cover-ups lacking authenticity.

“The interview is also a key opportunity to find out how you can turn your diversity into a competitive advantage and leverage your uniqueness. It’s also useful to throw in questions about your potential career trajectory if you are selected and what are the key qualities or deliverables of the most successful people at the company.“

As a minority in the workplace, Black, Asian and other groups may feel alienated from the rest of the team, affecting their self-confidence.

“People from marginalised backgrounds often shy away from advocating for themselves, expressing their talents, and showcasing their achievements in case they are labelled as ‘braggarts’ or as ‘trying too hard,’” explains Ali.

“They are not only hesitant to put themselves forward, but also show reluctance in raising complaints, or voicing concerns for fear of being judged ill-favourably. They may feel as if asking too many questions will make them appear incompetent or ignorant or even difficult.”

Ali says that many people she has coached from minority backgrounds are afraid of putting their vulnerability out in the open. The idea of exposing how they really feel or think or opening themselves up can seem “dangerous and risky”.

“Because the latter are reluctant to speak their mind, they are often viewed as lacking self-confidence,” she adds. “However, in any interview, it’s crucial to show your worth and defy these internal barriers. It’s only people who carry themselves with confidence and who clearly vocalise their asks that typically get noticed more.

“Research reveals that recruiters show clear preference for people who are confident and display powerful posing despite being unaware of the interviewee’s background, hypothesis and conditions.”

So come with confidence, and ask everything you intend to – it might help you make up your decision when you finally land that offer.

*Name has been changed to provide anonymity.

20 Most Picturesque Places To Move To In The UK

Posted on 05/09/2021 by Boris Clair

Lockdown has made us reassess the way we see our homes. Having spent more than 18 months being cooped up inside, many of us are considering a change of scenery.

More than a quarter of UK homeowners (29%) say they want to move house this year to get more outside space, according to the newest Home Improvement Trends Report from the tradesperson site Rated People. A quarter (25%) also want a bigger home.

And what better place to move than somewhere that is Instagram-worthy?

As part of the report, researchers analysed Instagram hashtag data for over 500 towns and cities in the UK and compared this with each place’s population size, to reveal the locations that people want to photograph the most.

Durham is seen as the most Intstagram-worthy place to live as it’s surrounded by the River Wear and boasts a beautiful romanesque cathedral. Over 2.5 million photos of Durham have been shared on Instagram, even though the population is just over 50,000 people. That means for every person there are 50 photos shared online, making it the UK’s most photographed city.

Cornish surfing town Newquay makes the list as the second most scenic place in the UK, with 42 photos shared per capita, and Stamford in Lincolnshire is third, with 32 photos.

If you’re thinking about moving or visiting somewhere new, here are 20 of the most picturesque places.

1. Durham, 2,601,061 Instagram photos

2. Newquay, 909,883 Instagram photos

3. Stamford, 653,624 Instagram photos

4. Scarborough, 1,901,394 Instagram photos

5. Manchester, 16,468,992 Instagram photos

6. Brighton, 7,075,737 Instagram photos

7. Cambridge, 4,319,044 Instagram photos

8. Falmouth, 684,587 Instagram photos

9. York, 4,554,540 Instagram photos

10. Warwick, 851,832 Instagram photos

11. Merseyside, Liverpool 14,833,871 Instagram photos

12. Oxford, 146,065 Instagram photos

13. Tyne and Wear, Newcastle upon Tyne, 5,646,656 Instagram photos

14. Edinburgh, 9,581,542 Instagram photos

15. London, 150,696,691 Instagram photos

16. Ely, Cambridgeshire, 335,558 Instagram photos

17. Canterbury, Kent, 1,028,006 Instagram photos

18. Devon, 822,303, Instagram photos

19. Margate, Kent, 870,828 Instagram photos

20. Inverness, Highland, 621,240 Instagram photos

As Beyoncé Turns 40, We Look Back At Her Political Evolution

Posted on 04/09/2021 by Boris Clair

When she performed in front of the word ‘feminist’, some said she didn’t do enough. When she wore an outfit inspired by the Black Panthers, others said she did too much.

In her decades-spanning career, Beyoncé has been accused of being both too political and not political enough. As the icon turns 40, I’ve started to wonder why – and whether we’ve been too harsh on Queen B, who was just 16 when Destiny’s Child released their first single.

For Black women like myself, growing up and seeing Beyoncé elevate and making cultural strides gave me the push that I needed. From the age of five to my current age of 26, I’ve watched Beyoncé grow from a teenager to a mother-of-three, all while creating a legacy.

She has, some would say, become more involved in politics in that time. Others have argued that Beyoncé has always been political – you just didn’t see it. Either way, the way she presents her politics has certainly evolved, but it’s not been without its hiccups.

Professor Lucy Robinson, whose research spans the history of sexuality and identity politics, isn’t sure that matters. “We hold celebrities like Beyoncé accountable in impossible ways, as if they might not have changing ideas about the world around them,” she tells HuffPost UK.

To look at at Bey’s evolution properly, we need to start from the beginning, going back to the days of Destiny’s Child. “Girl power” was alive and kicking, with fellow girl bands including The Spice Girls and TLC bringing third-wave feminism to a new, ’90s generation.

The bands were still writing about love and men, but we started to see more women in music reclaiming their time and money – and Destiny’s Child were no different. In 1999′s Bills, Bills, Bills, we see the group talking about a man who becomes dependent on his girlfriend to pay for his expenses – until she has enough and demands he pays his own way. In Hey Ladies, also released in ’99, the song focuses on why women choose to stay with men who do them wrong. The singers state that if a man messes up, he has to go. The narratives are almost empowering, but still focus heavily on heteronormative coupledom.

Beyonce with the original Destiny's Child band members. — Beyonce with the original Destiny’s Child band members.

But with their third album, titled Survivor, Beyoncé and the band members find new autonomy. The album starts with Independent Women and features anthems like Survivor, highlighting female strength, and Bootylicious, which celebrates the way the woman see themselves and their bodies.

As Beyoncé transitions into her solo career, her first songs – Crazy in Love and Baby Boy – focus on men again. Did her political empowerment take a backward turn? Professor Robinson doesn’t think that’s necessarily the case.

“It’s really interesting that we expect an individual to have a straight line of political development as if anybody does that, let alone a Black female artist,” she says. “We expect them to have this coherent development of political analysis, as if we can get inside their brain.”

By 2008, though, Beyoncé is telling the world what she’d do if she was born with male privilege (If I Were A Boy) and celebrating all the Single Ladies. Fast forward to her 2011 album ‘4’ – two years after she sang at Barack Obama’s inauguration – and she has millions of women chanting: “Who run the world? Girls.”

Beyonce performing at President Barack Obama's inauguration. — Beyonce performing at President Barack Obama’s inauguration.

It was Bey’s most obvious move into feminism, but writer Zeba Blay argues the song – along with Beyoncé’s light skin and blonde hair – still has mass appeal, because it’s “palatable…to white audiences”.

“When she sings ‘Who run the world ― girls!’ the girls she speaks of are an amorphous, ever-changing group, racially-ambiguous, of no specific social class,” she says.

Being a Black woman in the public eye is inherently political, and by adding your own opinions to the mix, you face even more scrutiny. Beyoncé’s ability to appeal to multiple groups while getting political is no mean feat.

“To have found ways to slip through the gaps and to own her own narrative, I think it’s kind of historically pretty unprecedented, to be able to do both of those things,” says Professor Robinson. “And then on top of that you have the impossibility to then be the right role model for all groups, it’s an impossible position.”

When Beyoncé eventually did make her personal stances clear, white mainstream media had a lot to say about it. Her 2014 VMA performance – when she stood proudly in front of the word ‘feminist’, singing tracks from her self-titled visual album – was divisive. Some said it was game-changing, others questioned her validity as a feminist.

In a piece for the Telegraph, Emma Watson said: “I felt her message felt very conflicted, in the sense that on one hand, she is putting herself in a category of a feminist, but then the camera, it felt very male, such a male voyeuristic experience of her.” Black woman like myself felt frustrated with the critique, as it seemed like white feminists were gatekeeping Black women from the feminist movement. During her ‘Mrs Cater’ tour, she received backlash again, as fans questioned why she used her married name.

But it was when she performed with Bruno Mars at the Super Bowl in 2016 – the year of Donald Trump’s election – that Beyoncé’s feminism became intersectional, focussing on race and politics. Some viewers found it uncomfortable to watch, because her outfit was inspired by the Black Panthers (as if that’s a bad thing).

Beyonce performing during the Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show in 2016.

Professor Robinson believes this upset people’s feelings, as she let white audiences know she wasn’t holding back any more. “There’s a big difference between being at a political inauguration and being associated with presidential politics,” she says. “Those things are accommodated within that comfort of white audiences enjoying Black music. But when you bring that to a football pitch, those lines are drawn, which makes people uncomfortable.”

Seeing her political transition at first did make me question why she wasn’t vocal about these issues in the past. I wasn’t sure if she was being performative or if it was authentic. But then I started to think about my own journey. I don’t think the same way I did when I was 18, and I’m sure my opinions will change when I’m older too. Nevertheless, I thought adding Chimamanda’s speech to Flawless was a huge power move. The speech resonated with me and made me think about my ideas of what it looks like to be a Black feminist. And it seems like I’m not the only one.

Abigail, a 27-year-old trainee lawyer from London, thinks Beyoncé has always been quite political, but believes we started to see a shift when she had her first daughter, Blue Ivy, in 2012. A bigger pivotal turn in her political awareness came during the Lemonade era, she argues.

“The visual album as a whole touched on the Black female experience in America and globally,” says Abigail, who chose not to share her surname.

“However, this is just looking at her career as a musician. She has always looked to address social and economic imbalances and this is evidenced in her building homes for Hurricane Katrina victims, supporting the families of those killed by police brutality, encouraging voter registration by having registrations booths at her concerts, creating the Formation and Homecoming scholarships for black students.”

As Beyoncé has evolved, so have her fans – and the long nature of Bey’s career means she has a special place in the hearts of many. “To me, as a Black woman, Beyoncé feels like a favourite aunt,” adds Abigail.

“She’s a reflection of the Black female experience. Her approach to the media and how she interacts with them is not just her maintaining the mystique of being a celebrity, but it’s her protecting her peace whilst still having a presence, something that so many Black women need in the workplace and in society in general.”

It’s been a hell of a ride – and it seems the Beyoncé conundrum is only set to continue. Her most recent album, Black is King, was applauded as a “love letter to Africa” by some, while others called it “incomplete”.

No one is above critique and rightly so – we should question celebrities and celebrity culture, but we should also allow them some grace. Beyoncé’s presence in mainstream media has allowed us to have conversations around Black feminism and intersectionality that we might not have had before.

As Robinson says: “I think the fans and the conversations around an artist, are actually where the real politics happens.

“Black feminism has had to do a brilliant job of explaining to white women that their experiences aren’t universal. These conversations have highlighted that some feminist issues don’t represent the experiences of Black women.”

Don’t Use Your Birthday To Bash Yourself Over Your Achievements

Posted on 04/09/2021 by Boris Clair

Beyoncé, the multi-hyphenate queen that she is, has achieved a lot.

On her 40th birthday, she remains the first artist to debut at number one on the Billboard 200 with their first six solo studio albums, she has broken the record for the most Grammys won by a woman, and is one of the world’s biggest trailblazers.

Most of us pale in comparison. And when it comes to birthdays, it’s especially difficult to not tally up all that we’ve achieved.

But comparing yourself to the greats or even those around you can have serious detrimental effects. At cliched as it sounds, there is only one you, marching to the beat of your own drum towards your own timeline.

Grammy or not, there’s a lot to celebrate if you’re approaching a big birthday (let’s not forget to commend our sheer resilience in navigating the pandemic). And it seems plenty of people are doing just that.

We spoke to four people about milestone ages – and how they’re rejecting ideas of where they’re “supposed” to be.

“Time is precious and short.” – Vicky Clapham, business owner, 40, Leeds

“I actually feel ok about turning 40 – and much more accepting than reaching 30! I have more of a ‘age is but a number’ type mentality.

“For my birthday this year I’m having a party at my home with family and friends followed by a weekend away sans children with my husband, best friend and her husband. We’re going to see the Tina Turner musical and can’t wait! I’ll really enjoy doing these things that only a few short months ago wouldn’t have been an option.

“I do think a birthday can be a bit of catalyst to think about what you have or haven’t achieved, and changes that need to be made. Personally, I don’t feel like that now. It was definitely something I was more conscious about when I was younger – especially the pressure around having children, getting married, career etc.

“I’m much more self-assured and accepting now and realise that everyone is on their own path. Time is precious and short – which this last 18 months has been an incredibly stark reminder of – and you’ve just got to make the most of it, including celebrating getting older.”

“As I turn 30, I actually feel a level of freedom.” – Taimour Ahmed, mental health consultant, 30, Lisbon

Taimour feels a sense of freedom as he gets older.

“There really is societal pressure to achieve things by a certain age and in my view, it’s quite detrimental to our mental wellbeing, [causing us to] chase things and achievements we think we want, when in reality this might not be the case.

“As I turn 30, I actually feel a level of freedom, knowing that I am setting my own pace in life as opposed to living to society and other peoples’ rhythm, which effectively destroyed my mental wellbeing.

“In terms of achievements [we’re expected to reach], it’s very black and white i.e. progressing on the corporate career ladder, having a property and potentially being married, depending on your cultural context.

“In my view it’s not possible to achieve them because 1) London living is so expensive 2) we need to better understand at a base level whether or not these things are actually what we want.”

“Covid and turning 30 have made me reconsider what’s important in my life.” – Joanne Goldy, marketing specialist, 30, Isle of Man

Joanne has mixed feelings about turning 30.

“I’d love to say that I’m not sweating it, turning 30, but I do have mixed feelings. On the one hand I’m telling myself that 30 is only a number and other clichés like ‘you’re only as old as you feel,’ but I can’t help feeling a little sad that my 20s and that time of my life is over.

“I definitely feel more reflective around this birthday than I have in previous years. For my birthday, I’m hoping to have a big family get together – less to do with celebrating my birthday and more about reconnecting in light of the Covid situation. Both that and turning 30 have made me reconsider what’s important in my life.

“Ageing is an interesting one for women as many of us naturally begin to question if/when is the ‘best’ or ‘right’ age to have children. In part I feel there’s a societal expectation to have settled down by or in your 30s, but there’s also a biological pressure there too. Many female friends my age already have children and although kids aren’t on my radar right now, it’s tricky not to compare lives sometimes and wonder ‘is time running out?’. At the end of the day, there will always be societal expectations of some sort around age, but my opinion is that most people are fortunate to have the choice of whether to live up to them or not.

“I used to be very future-driven and focused on having achieved x,y,z by age x. Over the last couple of years though, my outlook has changed significantly; I now try to focus much more on living in the present (literally day to day) and avoid thinking too much about the bigger picture or ticking things off by a certain age.”

“I never beat myself about anything”– Sarah Lee, mum, 50, Worthing

“I turned 50 this year and I felt fine, and quite proud, actually. Unfortunately my birthday was spent at home with my husband due to Covid. However, he did a gorgeous breakfast spread for me.

“I never beat myself about anything, take every day as your last, do things when you can or when monies allow, don’t stress as life is too short.”

This Is What It’s Like To Go Through Menopause At Work

Posted on 03/09/2021 by Boris Clair

Lisa Miller likens her mind to a sieve when “menopause brain” hits at work.

“My co-workers will always be like, ‘Remember last week when we were talking about that slide?’ and I’m like, ‘Nope, I have no idea what you’re talking about,’” said Miller, a customer relations and document control specialist for an aerospace company in Virginia.

“It’s like my brain is a sieve, and just spots and memories go right through it, like a spaghetti strainer. It’s very frustrating. I know my colleagues do get frustrated. I get frustrated.“

Forgetfulness and having difficulty concentrating or thinking clearly are common symptoms, collectively known as “brain fog,” that can affect one-third to two-thirds of people going through menopause, according to researchers’ estimates.

It’s also one of the 34 documented symptoms associated with perimenopause, the phase before menopause when a person’s body starts making less oestrogen until eventually their ovaries stop releasing eggs. (Menopause itself is calculated as beginning on the 365th day since a person’s last period.)

Although menopause can be surgically or medically induced, there are usually no predictable starting and ending points when it occurs naturally. It often takes place between the ages of 45 and 55 ― critical career years when people typically take on more leadership and responsibilities at work and consider their legacies.

Perimenopause lasts for an average of about four years, but the menopause transition can stretch on for 14. This uncertain timeline can cause a lot of career anxieties. One 2014 survey in the US revealed that 12% of women admitted they had passed up a more demanding job or promotion because of their menopausal symptoms.

Because her brain fog interferes with her ability to do her job, Miller, who is 53, said she worries her menopause transition will last into her retirement.

“I’m hoping every day that it ends, but I’ve been told it could last seven to 10 years, which is terrifying,” Miller said.

Here’s what people told us about how menopause affects them at work, for better or worse, and what coping strategies and advice they have for how to put this transition in perspective.

There can be work-disrupting physical symptoms, like hot flushes and heavier periods.

For Kimberly Caprio, a Connecticut-based breast surgeon, it’s the hot flushes that make it obvious what she is going through. “When I take my gown off, it looks like a bucket of water was poured on my head,” she said.

“I don’t find it depressing or anything like that, it’s just annoying as hell.”

– Kimberly Caprio

Caprio said the excessive sweating she often experiences is inescapable and distracting while she is working. “I’m trying to concentrate on an operation; it’s rather annoying to be feeling the drips,” she said.

She’s currently looking into buying a cooling vest to wear with her hospital scrubs, but in the meantime, she said, “I just have to deal with it.” She also experiences heavier periods and cramping because of her menopause transition, and “when that happens on a long operating day, it’s never a disaster, but it’s always like ‘Ughhh.’ It’s another weight in the bag that you’re carrying.”

Putting symptoms in perspective is helpful, because they can last a while. A study by the Journal of the American Medical Association in 2015 found that menopausal people experience hot flushes and night sweats for a median of seven and a half years.

Menopause symptoms can be treatable, however. Health care providers can guide people through this time and suggest options including hormone and oestrogen therapy, non-hormonal alternatives, lifestyle changes or medications for specific symptoms.

“Many of these symptoms can be treated safely and effectively, and I try to raise that awareness in women,” Heather Hirsch, the director of Brigham and Women’s Hospital Menopause and Midlife Clinic, said on her hospital’s website. “It’s a time when many patients feel lost, frustrated and fearful — and a lot of that is unnecessary. Education and myth-busting have become big parts of my job.”

Caprio said she doesn’t attach negative meaning to the menopause experience, but she is waiting for hers to be over.

“I don’t find it depressing or anything like that; it’s just annoying as hell,” she said.

Workplace coping strategies include rehearsing, finding understanding among colleagues and taking lots of notes.

People face a choice when menopause symptoms become noticeable to their colleagues: talk about it or not? For many around the world, menopause in the workplace is still a taboo subject. In one British survey, about 47% of people who needed to take a day off due to menopause symptoms did not feel comfortable telling their bosses or colleagues the reason. In a separate survey across five countries, 44% of people who experienced menopause symptoms said they have felt too embarrassed to ask for support in the workplace.

After her first five months of menopause, Miller decided to not dance around the subject with her colleagues, most of whom are male, or make excuses for it. She felt it had become “super obvious” what was going on when she needed a fan on days when it was freezing outside.

“It is what it is. It’s a part of life,” she said. When she has brain fog, she said, “I just flat-out tell my co-workers: ‘You’re going to have to show me. Can you go into greater detail?’”

Sometimes she receives heavy sighs in response. But Miller said that for the most part, the men she works with are receptive because of other women in their lives.

“I have one co-worker whose wife is my age, so he totally gets it,” Miller said.

Tina Opie said she manages her brain fog by asking colleagues for what she really wants or needs without feeling guilty about it. A management researcher, founder of the Opie Consulting Group and a visiting Harvard Business School scholar, she also does additional prep work before teaching her classes.

“I will actually go through the slides, and I look crazy when I’m doing it, because I’m rehearsing what I’m going to say. Even the transitions in between slides, a joke I may tell … ,” she said. “Typically, I make my brain go through that process beforehand, because my short-term memory is definitely challenging.”

Another perimenopausal symptom she experiences is anger that flares quickly and stays. When she is in this emotion, Opie said, she has found it helpful to write before she speaks so that she can recognise and surface her own assumptions and extend grace, an important aspect of her leadership style.

If she is feeling invalidated or disrespected in public, for example, she asks herself, “Well, do they do that because I’m Black, because I’m a woman, because I’m 50? And then I try to write down alternative explanations for what they could have done. The writing forces me to slow down.”

Creating an open dialogue with co-workers and practicing individual coping strategies raise awareness, but Opie noted that there is an institutional responsibility, too.

“Roughly 50% of the population is going through menopause at the workplace. What are you doing from a systemic standpoint to make this an inclusive workplace?” she said.

An organisation’s answers don’t necessarily have to be elaborate, but they should be focused on supporting employees. Researchers have found that menopausal workers want their employers to offer four practical accommodations: fans, easy access to temperature control, the option to work remotely and including menopause in occupational health and safety and human resource policies.

“These steps are not just about alleviating symptoms,” management professors Kathleen Riach and Gavin Jack wrote at The Conversation. “They are about avoiding signalling that women of a certain age are an inconvenience or less valued as employees.”

But experiencing menopause at work is not always negative. In fact, it can be a gateway to a better or more improved career.

The physical symptoms of menopause aren’t fun, but the transition can also be a positive, freeing experience.

Omisade Burney-Scott, a North Carolina-based social justice advocate and the creator of “The Black Girls’ Guide to Surviving Menopause,” a podcast and multimedia project, said that too often menopause is reduced to a stereotype of “hot, sweaty, angry people without any context.”

“I feel like it’s giving me more permission to be really, really clear about the things that bring me joy, like the things that I enjoy doing, or the things that I enjoy offering or feel confident about offering to a workspace, or to social justice work or creative work,” she said. “And that feels really liberating.”

“It requires a level of focus on yourself that you may not have engaged in before.”

– Tina Opie, founder of the Opie Consulting Group

The experience pushed Claire Hattrick into pursuing a long-held passion. The aesthetician and blogger lives in Hampshire. In the UK, 900,000 women reported that they quit their jobs due to menopause symptoms in 2019.

When she went through menopause, Hattrick had “horrendous” joint pain that caused her to have to lie down on the floor between waxing clients. It eventually pushed her to work fewer hours, switch up the types of beauty treatments she performed and start blogging about her life, which ultimately turned into an additional career path.

Hattrick, who is now postmenopausal, said she sees positives in this outcome, including a new self-confidence: “It kind of makes you feel like you can take on the world almost. Like if you can deal with this, you can deal with anything.”

“If I hadn’t gone through this, I would have plodded on with the beauty [work],” Hattrick said. “It made me look at doing something I’ve always wanted to do. It’s almost forced me a little bit into saying, ‘Well, if I don’t jump ship now, I’m never going to do that.’“

Opie, too, said menopause can be a gateway for deeper career introspection and transitions, in the way turning 50 and going through perimenopause has been for her.

“It requires a level of focus on yourself that you may not have engaged in before,” she said. “You are trying to converge upon ‘what is going on with me,’ because you don’t know how to label this constellation of symptoms, and as a result, there is a self-focus that enters. …

“Now I’m applying this focus to ‘How do I feel about myself in this relationship, how do I feel about myself at work? How do I feel about myself in the mirror at night?’ It has led me to begin to explore all of those things and to try to change trajectories that I don’t find satisfactory.”

Yup, End-Of-Summer Tantrum Season Is Here, And It’s No Fun

Posted on 30/08/2021 by Boris Clair

For so many kids, summer really is bliss. There’s the initial joy of school being over that soon gives way to sunshine-filled days, later bedtimes, and generally loosened-up routines.

But as summer slips away, things tend to go south. Kids who just a month or two ago couldn’t believe how lucky they were to spend an afternoon at the beach turn into tired, entitled monsters, freaking out when you ask them to do anything, or yelling about seemingly little stuff.

And depending on when school starts where you live, you’re likely deep into end-of-summer-slash-start-of-school tantrum season, when kids seem to collectively lose their minds.

So why does it happen? And what can you do about it? Here’s what parents need to know about navigating this short (but intense!) stretch of time.

Spending time out of routines eventually catches up with kids.

Yes, kids love how unstructured and fun summer is. But being out of their routines for several months eventually catches up to them, especially if they’ve spent week after week soaking up lots of sun, staying up late and not necessarily eating all that well.

“We know that kids thrive when there is structure in their routines, and not having that is chaotic,” said Dr. Candice Jones, an American Academy of Pediatrics spokesperson and author of High Five Discipline: Positive Parenting for Happy, Healthy, Well-Behaved Kids.

Jones, who is a mum herself, certainly doesn’t think that kids and families have to stick to a strict schedule during the summer. But it can help to just remind yourself that your kid isn’t melting down because they’re trying to push your buttons; they’re melting down because the happy chaos of summer may finally be catching up to them.

Day-to-day, make sure you’re doing what you can to prevent tantrums by “managing their environment” and making sure your kids are getting enough food and that they’re relatively well-rested, Jones said. Sometimes on long, hot, end-of-summer days simply making sure a kiddo gets a nap and a few good snacks can do wonders for their overall behaviour.

Reminding kids of parts of school that they really like can help ease end-of-summer tantrums.

Remember: transitions are tough, especially this year.

As you navigate the summer/fall back-to-school tantrum season, it’s also helpful to remind yourself that transitions are difficult, especially when many kids are heading back to the classroom full time for the first time in 18 months.

“It’s hard for children and parents to go through,” Jones said.

If your child’s school hasn’t started yet, it can be helpful to reinstate some routines beforehand and practice what it’s like to all get out the door in the morning, she urged. Ideally, about two weeks or so before they head back, you’d start to institute a more regular bedtime and wake time, for example. Block off time for them to read, or for you to read together, so they get a bit of practice learning again if they’ve taken a bit of a break.

Then just try to be gentle and patient with yourself and with them, Jones urged.

Try this ‘active ignoring’ technique.

Tantrums may be developmentally appropriate for younger kids, but that doesn’t necessarily help you stay calm in the moment. So Jones is a big fan of taking a few moments to step away from a toddler who is melting down, provided it’s safe to do so.

“One of the strategies that works is the removal of your attention. Don’t argue with the child. Don’t beg and plead. Just kind of calm yourself down, and remove your attention, and once your child starts to settle … then you can acknowledge their feelings by saying something like, ‘What’s going on? What’s wrong?’” she said. (Some kids really benefit from someone holding them close while they’re in the middle of a tantrum, Jones added, and you can absolutely still give them that kind of close physical support while not giving into their demands.)

The Child Mind Institute calls this strategy “active ignoring,” and notes that it’s very important to give positive attention as soon as the behaviour you’re looking for starts.

Give older kids plenty of opportunities to talk about their feelings.

There’s ample evidence that children of all ages had a tough time emotionally over the past 18-plus months, so now more than ever it’s important for parents to give their children time and space to open up about what they’re experiencing as the summer winds down.

Also, don’t be surprised if older school-age children suddenly seem to be having meltdowns or regressing, which has been happening throughout the pandemic.

With kids who aren’t necessarily big sharers, it can help to back into the conversation a bit by asking how they think their friends are coping with this current moment of transition, for example, or by telling them a bit about how you’re feeling right now. (Here are some other creative ways real parents have found to get a sense of their children’s pandemic-related feelings, which may work for the end-of-summer/back-to-school stretch.)

Don’t forget to get them excited about school as well, Jones said. Let them help you with back-to-school shopping, she suggested. Remind them of friends they’ll see or activities they love that they’ll get to do again.

“Check in, see how they’re doing, and talk to them,” Jones said. “Let them know you’re there for them.”

Keeping Getting A UTI? Here Are Some Common Reasons Why

Posted on 30/08/2021 by Boris Clair

Urinary tract infections – or UTIs – can be painful, annoying and recurring, if you don’t take action to reduce the chances of getting one. While more common in women, as they have shorter urethras, meaning bacteria can pass through more easily, the issue also affects men.

Symptoms of a UTI include needing to pee suddenly or more often than usual, pain or a burning sensation when peeing, smelly or cloudy pee, blood in your pee, pain in your lower tummy, feeling tired and unwell, and in older people, changes in behaviour such as severe confusion or agitation.

If you notice any pain and continuous discomfort then definitely chat to your doctor about it. While it may just be symptoms of a UTI, which can be treated with antibiotics, doing a urine test can rule out any other conditions. There are also things to be mindful of if you want to stop getting regular UTIs.

Stella Ivaz, a urologist at London Bridge Urology, tells HuffPost UK: “We give patients lifestyle advice, and that usually includes good fluid intake, making sure you empty your bladder regularly so flushing the system. Wipe the correct way. And sex is a trigger so try voiding after intercourse so if a few bacteria did have the chance to make their way up, you try and empty that as soon as possible.”

Sound advice – and read on for more details on how best to avoid UTIs.

Not urinating properly

It sounds simple, but just make sure you finish peeing and completely empty your bladder before you get off the toilet.

You might not be aware but you may be leaving the bathroom with urine still left inside. To make sure you get it all out, you can try a method called double voiding.

This includes weeing, then standing for a few seconds, before trying again. You’ll see residual urine now coming out.

This is a good way of avoiding a UTI as static urine can build up over time and cause the infection.

Taking care after sex

During sex, all sorts of fluids are exchanged and different orifices are used, so naturally it’s going to include the swapping of bacteria.

The reason that sex increases the likelihood of UTIs is because the physical act of love-making causes a woman’s urethra to come into contact with bacteria from the genitals and anus – hers and a partner’s. After contact is made, it’s easy for bacteria to travel up into the urinary system and cause an infection.

This is one of the reasons that women experience more UTIs than men. In fact, close to 80% of premenopausal women who get a UTI had sex within the previous 24 hours. To avoid the chances of a UTI, make sure to pee after sex to flush out any potential bacteria.

Not wiping properly

This is another one which sounds simple but alas, it isn’t always done properly.

If you’re wiping from down up – as in, from the anus towards the vagina, then you’re likely inviting rectal bacteria into it. Not wiping properly can cause cystitis or (more common) urethritis.

Cystitis is usually caused by E. coli, a type of bacteria commonly found in the gastrointestinal tract. However, sometimes other bacteria are responsible. Sexual intercourse may also lead to cystitis, but you don’t have to be sexually active to develop it.

Urethritis can occur when gastrointestinal bacteria spreads from the anus to the urethra. Because the female urethra is close to the vagina, sexually transmitted infections, such as herpes, gonorrhoea, chlamydia and mycoplasma, can also cause urethritis.

Diabetes

Diabetes and urological health issues are closely connected. Diabetics are prone to UTIs because diabetes can impact blood flow, nerves and sensory function in the body, indirectly worsening urologic conditions.

Over time, people with diabetes may lose some sensory function. This can make it hard to know that you have to go to the bathroom. As a result, people may wait too long to go to the bathroom, or if the urine stays in the bladder too long, it may raise your chance for getting a bladder or kidney infection.

And finally, Covid

Don’t sound the panic alarm just yet, as Covid-19 itself doesn’t put you at risk of having a UTI. But treatments for the virus have caused UTIs in some cases. People who received steroids or had been catheterised during their treatment for Covid may be at greater risk of infection.

Why ‘Before And After’ Photos Are More Problematic Than You Think

Posted on 29/08/2021 by Boris Clair

Before and after photos are ubiquitous for a reason. They’re what marketers call a “social trigger” – a type of content that prompts those who see it to feel or act a certain way. They make it clear to viewers that one situation (the “after”) is more desirable than another (the “before”).

Think of before and after photos focused on weight loss, for example. If a group of people looked at a single photo of someone standing in a bathing suit, each person in that group might have a different reaction. Some might feel attracted to the person, others might feel indifferent about the person and others might focus on something else entirely – like what the person is wearing or how the sunset looks behind them.

But if that same photo is shown next to another photo of the same person, in which they wear a similar bathing suit but have a larger body, the reactions of the group looking at the photo become much more uniform. They notice the size of the person’s body in both photos before anything else. That comparison is the trigger.

While before and after photos might work for marketers and content creators, they’re often toxic for the rest of us. Sure, some are harmless – a photo of a dirty plate before it gets cleaned with dish soap versus after, or a messy bookshelf next to a tidied-up one. However, any pair of before and after photos that shows a human being sends a dangerous message: that certain types of bodies (or faces, hair types, skin tones, lip shapes, etc.) are better than others.

Here’s why these types of photos are even more insidious than you think:

They trigger unhealthy comparison.

“While sometimes well-intentioned, the impact of before and after photos lend to social and body comparisons, which can cause harm to anyone – especially people struggling with body image and eating concerns,” said Chelsea Kronengold, associate director of communications at the National Eating Disorders Association.

Many people seeing these photos will themselves to look more like the “before” than the “after.” And because the whole point of the before-and-after comparison is to say that the “after” is better, they’ll likely end up feeling less-than, or like their bodies need to be “fixed.” Over time, this can lead to real harm.

“Body dissatisfaction and thin-ideal internalisation are potential risk factors for all types of eating disorders,” Kronengold said. “People with negative body image are not only more likely to develop an eating disorder, but are also more likely to suffer from depression, isolation, low self-esteem and obsessions with weight loss.”

Before and after photos can trigger unhealthy comparison to others and an obsession with our own body types.

They reinforce weight stigma and anti-fat bias.

Before and after photos exist in every corner of social media, but they’re most pervasive in the weight loss space. Often, these posts elicit comments that seem positive, like, “so inspiring!” or “you look great!” But there’s a problematic flip side to these comments: The implication is that the person didn’t look great in their larger body, and that being thinner is always better.

“These subtle and overt messages contribute to weight stigma and perpetuates unhealthy diet culture messages that changing your body, losing weight or being thinner, is viewed as a ‘morally superior’ accomplishment,” Kronengold said.

This weight stigma (discrimination based on a person’s weight) is incredibly pervasive in our society, and it has serious negative effects. A 2018 review in the Journal of Advanced Nursing found that experiencing weight stigma increased a person’s risk of diabetes, eating disturbances, depression, anxiety and body dissatisfaction. It was also linked to an increase in chronic stress and chronic inflammation, and a decrease in self-esteem.

Weight stigma springs from the belief that thinner is better, and that fatness is unhealthy. But that’s not really the case. One 2016 review published in JAMA found that people in the “overweight” body mass index category live the longest. Another 2016 study published in the International Journal of Obesity found that 50% of people classified as “overweight” and nearly percent of people classified as “obese” were metabolically healthy. Meanwhile, 30% of people classified as “normal” weight were metabolically unhealthy.

The relationship between weight and health is incredibly complicated, but it’s fair to say that you can’t determine whether or not someone is healthy by looking at a photo of them.

Kronengold also pointed out that even before and after photos showing weight gain reinforce weight stigma. The eating disorder recovery space is filled with before-and-afters that showcase an extremely thin “before” body next to a less-thin (but still relatively small) “after” body.

“Many of these eating disorder before and after photos send the message that individuals with a history of anorexia and/or a low BMI are the only people impacted by eating disorders,” Kronengold said. “This reinforces the stereotype that eating disorders have a certain ‘look,’ and can alienate people with other eating disorder diagnoses and/or in higher-weight bodies.”

“It’s a very real phenomenon that people who post these before and after photos often feel boxed in by their visual ‘success stories’ when their bodies inevitably change over time.”

– Ashley Seruya, New York City-based therapist and writer

They don’t show the whole story.

Another massive problem with before-and-afters when it comes to bodies is that they only show two moments in time. Bodies are always changing — even the person posting the photos won’t look like their “after” forever.

“It’s a very real phenomenon that people who post these before-and-after photos often feel boxed in by their visual ‘success stories’ when their bodies inevitably change over time,” said Ashley Seruya, a New York City-based therapist and writer.

And yes, it is inevitable that their bodies will change, because the vast majority of people who lose weight will gain it back within a few years. A 2020 review published in the BMJ found that although diets lead to weight loss and health improvements after six months, that effect disappears at the one-year mark across all types of diets.

Another 2020 review concluded that diets cause more harm than good, since permanent weight loss is rare and negative physical and mental health side effects are common.

They put far too much value in appearances.

Just because someone is smiling in an “after” photo doesn’t mean that they’re mentally healthy. In fact, both Seruya and Kronengold said that it can be damaging to assume that someone has experienced positive life changes just because they “look better.”

“I think it’s almost always going to be dangerous to place our self-worth in something as uncontrollable and unpredictable as the human body,” Seruya said. Because, truthfully, how someone looks is very rarely an indication of their well-being.

“Instead of emphasising body transformations, we should be celebrating mental health wins, major life events, and accomplishments that have nothing to do with appearance and/or weight,” Kronengold said.

The 19 Biggest Home Organising Mistakes People Make

Posted on 29/08/2021 by Boris Clair

Home organisation has really had a moment in recent years. And even after the world was introduced to Marie Kondo, the extra time we’ve all spent at home during the Covid-19 pandemic has further underscored the value of tidying up.

“Many people suffer with disorganisation for a long time before making changes,” Lisa Zaslow, a professional organiser at Gotham Organizers, told HuffPost. “It’s worth it to fix all the ‘little’ problems that annoy you every day – the kitchen drawer where you can’t easily find a can opener, the closet rod that’s so stuffed with clothes you need a crow bar to remove a jacket, the flimsy hangers that your clothes keep falling off. Taking the time to conquer your organisation problems will improve your quality of life.”

But tackling a cluttered home and creating systems that work for you and your family can be very challenging. Inevitably, many folks commit organising faux pas along the way. To help those who aspire to keep a tidy space, we asked experts to share the biggest mistakes they see people make with home organising. Read on for 19 approaches to avoid (and their advice for getting it right).

Buying Containers Before Decluttering

“One of the most common mistakes that I’ve seen people make when organising their homes is buying organising tools (containers, gadgets, labels, etc.) before they sort and purge. Sorting your belongings into trash, donate, and keep categories is not just to help you get rid of unnecessary or unwanted items. It also serves the purpose of helping you to realise not only what you have, but also how much of it you actually have.” ― Carolyn Rogers, professional organising consultant at Neat Nerd Solutions

“People purchase items to ‘get organised’ without engaging in a few good de-cluttering sessions! It’s almost as if folks believe that it’s the product that will ‘get and keep’ you organised, and not a dramatic shift in habits, behaviours, or relationships to the stuff and space that will actually increase the likelihood that you will find success as an organised person when you don’t have a lot of stuff to keep track of.” ― Regina Lark, professional organiser at A Clear Path

Not Taking Measurements

“When it comes to organising, size matters. This is especially true if you’re seeking a specific aesthetic. Those super cute baskets don’t look the same if they are too large and hanging off of the shelf where you planned for them to reside. Or an under-sink storage item that doesn’t actually fit under the sink is not useful. How about the Christmas decoration containers that are too small or you didn’t buy enough to hold all of your decorations. Be sure to obtain measurements for both the space and the item(s) that you plan to occupy it.” ― Rogers

“Please don’t eyeball a shelf or a closet or a drawer and guesstimate what kind of bin or helpful divider or hanging pocket shoe rack might fit. Measure the hell out of any drawer or door or shelf before ordering online or in person. Width, depth, height are your friends and so is a tape measure.” ― Jeni Aron, professional organizer at Clutter Cowgirl

Being Overly Ambitious

“People often bite off more than they can chew and get totally overwhelmed. Instead of tackling ‘your whole closet,’ start with a section of shoes or the dresser. Keeping the projects small and manageable will keep things from feeling too overwhelming.” ― Tova Weinstock, professional organizer at Tidy Tova

“A common challenge when organising at home is being overly ambitious. Instead of creating mini-projects and taking small steps, people try to do too much at once. This can be de-motivating, debilitating, cause burnout, and prevent them from reaching their organising goals.” ― Linda Samuels, professional organiser at Oh, So Organized

“Don’t burn out by devoting an entire weekend on a project. I break my sessions up into three-hour blocks. It can be tiring and emotionally draining work depending on the project. Do smaller bursts of work so that you keep your motivation and energy going. Set a timer if you have to and take lots of breaks.” ― Aron

It's best to tackle smaller areas one at a time. — It’s best to tackle smaller areas one at a time.

Not Paring Down

“A typical challenge people encounter with home organisation is underestimating the power of the edit. Before deciding the best way to organise a space, it is essential to release those things you no longer need, want, or use, so you can create ‘homes’ for the keepers.” ― Samuels

“I’ve had clients hold on to ‘mementos’ ― broken, torn, and/or nonfunctional items ― and keep old cords even when they don’t know what device the cord connects too.” ― Nicole Arroyo, professional organiser at Neatly Nic

Getting Too Fixated On Instagram

“It’s not uncommon that people will try to force popular organising solutions into their life rather than use the ones that work best for them. While you may need to make slight adjustments to your lifestyle and daily routines in order to be and stay more organised, you want to select the solutions that work best for your life, not that look the best on Instagram.” ― Jeffrey Phillip, professional organiser and interior designer

“Most of the home organising photos that are shown on Instagram are staged. In real life, no one has rainbow clothes (or only one colour clothing), rainbow food in the refrigerator, or rainbow anything. If you look closely at the before and after pictures of pantries on Instagram, for example, you’ll find that few of the products are the same. When you look at refrigerator photos on Instagram, there are no leftovers, milk, or juice. You can either organise a space or stage a space for a picture.” ― Barbara Reich, professional organiser at Life Organized

“People tend to purchase organising supplies for their ‘cuteness’ versus whether they will actually use it or not! When my team is called in to help a client ‘get organised,’ we see a LOT of organising products that are unused, poorly used, or used-to-overflowing.” ― Lark

“Don’t compare your home or space to someone else or a catalog look. Organising is about functionality. While the visual appeal comes with it, that’s not the goal. The goal is to maximise space, minimise stress and save time. So systems need to be centreed around that and not just making it look pretty.” ― Pooja Naik, organizing consultant at Organising With You, Inc.

Storing Everyday Items In Inconvenient Locations

“Don’t put everyday items in hard-to-reach places. Instead, keep items you use all of the time close by.” ― Sarah Giller Nelson, owner of Less Is More Organising Services

Overfilling Spaces With Containers

“A common pitfall to avoid is overfilling spaces and containers. A good organising system is easy to access and has room to grow. If you have to stuff items to fit them in the designated location, you are likely to become frustrated and the system will fail.” ― Seana Turner, founder of The Seana Method

Getting Hung Up On Making Decisions

“That’s all clutter is: postponed decisions. If your gut is telling you to hold onto it, then hold onto it. This is not the only opportunity you have let go of an item. There is always the second-round edit. Keep it moving!” ― Julie Naylon, professional organiser at No Wire Hangers

Dumping Everything Out At Once

“Don’t dump everything out! That will create a massive, scary mess. Instead, work on one area at a time and put things back as you go.” ― Weinstock

“Once we taste the satisfaction of organising, the overachiever in us may be tempted to take on the entire house at once! Our success fills us with an energy that makes us feel like we can conquer an entire world of unorganised closets, drawers, and pantries. But soon after pulling everything out, our energy starts to wane and we may find ourselves in what looks like a disaster zone. We then have to resist the urge to stuff everything back into those closets, drawers and pantries to eliminate the overwhelm of visual chaos. Instead, we should try to pace ourselves and harness that fiery energy.” ― Kellie Powell, lead professional organiser and chief operating officer of Dexterous Organising

“Don’t take everything out of a space. If the space is large, you may end up with things all over the place and then not have time to put them away properly. I advise taking items out one at a time. What will be discarded or donated, should get placed in a separate place. Then, when you are left with only what you’ll keep, you can take it out and determine where things will go.” ― Reich

Not Labelling After Organising A Space

“You think you’ll remember that you put holiday decorations in a box at the top of the closet. You won’t. Get a big Sharpie or a label maker and clearly note what you’ve put where.” ― Zaslow

“The best way to ensure that a space is maintained is by labelling everything, so there’s no question of where everything belongs.” ― Reich

Don't buy containers until you've decluttered and taken stock of what you actually need. — Don’t buy containers until you’ve decluttered and taken stock of what you actually need.

Allowing Too Much Time Between Organising Sessions

“It’s easy to lose momentum and backtrack on progress so it’s important to have consistency, even if it’s a little bit everyday until you achieve your organizing goals.” ― Naik

Putting Unrelated Items In Bins

“I often see people putting unrelated things in a bin and calling it organised. While they have put the items away so that their home is neat and tidy, they haven’t separated and categorised the items in an organised way. This stops them short of the benefits of organisation such as saving time and frustration as well as being able to more easily retrieve and put away the item(s) they’re looking for.” ― Phillip

Organizing More Than One Space At A Time

“Let’s say you are organising your desk and you find something that really belongs in the kitchen junk drawer. You walk over to put it in that drawer only to realise that it needs decluttering, too. As you are decluttering space No. 2, you find something that belongs in your room. You go to put it away in your closet, find there is no space in there, then start organising that area, too. Now you have three organising projects going at once, are running out of time, and are too overwhelmed to know what to do next. Instead, as you begin your organising project, grab a bin or laundry basket to collect ‘move elsewhere’ items. Only after you are done with the first space should you attempt to put the ‘move elsewhere’ items in their respective homes.” ― Nelson

Piling Items To Be Donated In A Corner

“Resist the urge to simply pile donations in a corner to be disposed of ‘later.’ Move items out to their final destination right away. Otherwise, you are likely to second guess your decisions and suffer unnecessary doubt. Alternatively, you may become so accustomed to seeing the piles that you stop noticing them, abandoning them to take up space for extended periods of time.” ― Turner

Creating Systems That Don’t Have An ‘Exit Strategy’

“We are always accumulating things, but the amount of space in our houses is fixed. While it is very satisfying to have homes for every item you own, if you don’t continually edit your collections, your home will start to feel cluttered. Buy the clothes you need and love, but also keep a donation bag at the foot of your closet for those you don’t. Create a paper management system, but once a document no longer serves its purpose don’t feel obliged to keep it around because you made a file folder for it.” ― Nelson

Overthinking Everything

“People over-categorise. Keep it simple and don’t make your categories so complex that you can’t keep up with it. Simple systems will not only benefit you but everyone else in your home. When I’m working with a client where there is excess I always create a ‘back stock’ area. A great example of this is office supplies. You don’t have to keep every pen you own on your desk.” ― Naylon

Not Getting The Other Inhabitants On Board

“When you’re living or working alone, being organised is a lot easier! When you live with a spouse/partner/roommate it takes some joint effort and accountability. And when you have kids (at any age) it can sometimes feel impossible and never-ending. Same goes for being organised at work. There has to be some level of joint expectation and priority of what the environment should look like. Similarly, the systems that are set up need to work for everyone involved so that they can follow it. For example, taking children’s height into consideration when creating a mudroom so that they can easily hang up their jackets and book bags without asking someone else.” ― Melissa Levy, founder of Declutter + Design

Failing To Maintain

“Although cleaning and organising are two completely different things, they do have one important thing in common… maintenance! We never want to make the mistake of thinking that organising is a one and done undertaking. Just as we cannot expect our homes to stay spotless after one day of valiant efforts to clean, with no daily plan for upkeep; we also cannot expect that our earnest organising efforts will be met with success without some form of maintenance. Maintenance isn’t difficult. It can take as little as 10 minutes a day. We can follow an organised system of simply returning things to their proper places daily. This maintenance will make organisation routine, refreshing, and long lasting!” ― Powell

“Once you get organised, it’s just as important to put emphasis on how you’re going to stay organised. It’s not a one and done. When someone isn’t interested in this part, I can tell that they won’t be able to stay organised in the long run. Being organised takes consistent effort.” ― Levy

Putting Off Asking For Help

“A typical challenge with home organisation is when people get stuck, they delay reaching out for help from a friend, family member, or professional. The clutter and disorganisation increase for months, years, or decades. Their procrastination causes overwhelm and strain on emotional energy.” ― Samuels

These 7 Tropical Destinations Are Cheaper Than UK Staycations

Posted on 27/08/2021 by Boris Clair

You are reading Anywhere But Here, our summer-long series on travel at home and abroad, serving up the information and inspiration you need.

Staycations are all the rage right now for obvious reasons. But their prices? Not so great. In fact, new research by BBC Panorama and consumer group Which? found that trips around the UK can cost an average of £300 more per week in August compared to before the pandemic.

And if you were thinking of heading to Brighton – hold your horses, it looks to be the seaside resort with the highest prices, with average rental costs almost doubling.

For one night of self-catered accommodation for two people in Brighton, it would have been £109 in 2019, but is now £206 – a rise of 89% – according data by AirDNA, which monitors websites such as Airbnb and Vrbo.

Places in St Helier in Jersey increased by 76% from 2019, while Lyme Regis on the south coast jumped up 74%.

Which? also published the differences between trips in the UK and abroad, even with flights included. The group compared prices for late August getaways for two people in the UK and overses, looking at the cheapest, highly-rated hotel available in a central location, and transport costs.

Oh, you want to go to Cornwall? It's going to cost you. — Oh, you want to go to Cornwall? It’s going to cost you.

South of France versus Brighton

According to Which’s research, a coastal break in the UK, such as Brighton, will set you back £1,131, a hotel in Nice, in the south of France costs £1,085, and that’s with flights included.

Lake Garda, Italy versus Lake District

A week in Lake Windermere in England’s Lake District costs £2,424, compared to £802 for flights and accommodation for a week in Lake Garda in northern Italy.

Corfu versus Cornwall

Get ready to have your mind blown. For a luxury three-bedroom villa with an ocean view in Carbis Bay, you’re looking at £12,000 for weekend dates in mid September (it sleeps up to six people, so that’s £2,000 a person).

Meanwhile in Corfu, Greece, prices have only increased by 13%. Search the exact same dates for flights and a five-star hotel and you can find one for as little as £273 (and you’d save further if you were to share the hotel room).

Turkey versus Cheshire

For the first available weekend in September, you’re looking at £1,895 for a week’s holiday rentals in Delamere Forest, Cheshire (that’s for four bedrooms, two beds are currently sold out).

By comparison, the cost of private accommodation in Marmaris, Turkey, has increased by just 7% since 2019. A quick search on Kayak for the same September dates throws up flight and hotel deals for as little as £230 (so, for a family of four, you’d be looking at £920). Even with the PCR costs included, a trip to Marmaris would be cheaper.

Tenerife versus Dorset

A holiday home in Berehayes Farm in Dorset for two people can cost £655 (for four people, it’s £986). In comparison, you can stay in a five-star hotel near the beach in Tenerife for £210, including flights.

Costa del Sol, Spain versus Wales

The only holiday Which? found for this August that worked out cheaper in the UK than abroad was a beach break in Tenby, Wales, compared to Estepona, on the Costa del Sol in Spain – but only by £10.

The accommodation in Tenby was still more expensive than Estepona, costing £880 for seven nights in Tenby compared to £837 for seven nights in a similarly rated hotel in Estepona. Only transport costs made the Tenby break marginally cheaper, with the journey estimated at £43, while return flights to Estepona cost an estimated £96.

And just in case you were wondering what prices were like for trips further afield – you can fly to Dubai and stay in a bouji hotel (The Hilton Garden Inn) and it will only set you back £346 at the moment. Brilliant!

Travel is the story of our summer. The rules (and traffic lights) are always changing, but one thing’s clear, we dream of being Anywhere But Here. This seasonal series offers you clear-headed travel advice, ideas-packed staycation guides, clever swaps and hacks, and a healthy dose of wanderlust.