Gen Z’s Job Struggles Are ‘Not Remotely Their Fault,’ Uni Founder Says

I have seen headline after headline screaming the bad news: Gen Z (roughly, those born between 1997-2012) are getting fired en masse.

Fortune magazine claims that’s because youths aren’t up to the task; they don’t dress appropriately, set reasonable expectations, show up on time, show enough initiative, or kick off their careers with a can-do attitude, the publication reckons.

The message is repeated across multiple media outlets; young people can’t get, or keep, jobs, and they’re all to blame, we’re told.

So I’ll admit I was relieved to speak to the founder of the London Interdisciplinary School, Ed Fidoe, who said the generation’s workplace woes are “not remotely Gen Z’s fault.”

So what’s going on?

There are a “couple of forces” to consider, the founder told HuffPost UK.

Many organisations aren’t hiring right now, and those that are feel that they can “trim their graduate intake” ― even though they “regret it, sort of four years, five years later,” he said.

Then, there’s “a structural problem, a structural challenge, which is… Gen AI, and the impact it has on graduate jobs,” he added.

Ed shared that “something like 80% [of students] get a 2:1 or a first from Russell Group universities” (it was 87.7% in 2022), meaning internships are crucial if you want to stand out from the crowd.

But the sort of “low-level” research jobs typically given to some interns “could be done very, very easily by the technology that exists.”

“We help broker our students to get internships every year, and… each year, it’s become quite a lot harder to place them,” the founder revealed.

Even where Ed does see some cultural misalignments between young people and the workforce, he still doesn’t think it’s helpful to blame Gen Z.

Though the founder says more and more young people are not given enough “challenges” on things as basic as handing coursework in on time, he states that universities’ failure to prepare students for “the real world” is partly down to an increasingly customer-provider relationship increasingly dear uni fees may encourage.

University courses themselves are rigid too, he pointed out ― “it’s built in that there’s no change in the university sector. And then we send people out into the most volatile work market that we’ve seen in probably 50 years.”

Especially post-pandemic, Ed continued, “if we see lots of layoffs, it’s not actually because it’s Gen Z being lazy. It’s just… that’s just what happened.”

So what can Gen Z, unis, or employers do to make the situation better?

Though he doesn’t think Gen Z are entirely culpable for their lot, Ed does think that universities could do a better job of setting fair expectations for students.

He calls unis “a wonderful place to be able to provide lots of support, but [also] lots of challenges,” exposing young people to “new environments and new ideas and new thinking.

“And… if universities are backing away from that, then again, my generation is doing that generation a disservice, because what it means is they are optimising for their own ease… because people are worried about being sued. But as soon as those students leave, they’re going to enter a workplace, and the workplace is on the whole not going to be conforming to that,” Ed explained.

He adds that in the London Interdisciplinary School, “we want people to have difficult conversations. What we don’t want is people to avoid them.”

But Ed says employers themselves often have a skewed view of what their youngest workers can offer.

Far from being underqualified, he says, some Gen Z may find themselves bored by the realities of work ― a phenomenon that may be exacerbated by employer’s perceptions of young people.

“We hear lots about employers saying that graduates don’t have any of the skills they need for the workplace…pick a list; problem-solving, initiative, communication, teamwork, all the stuff, and they’re deeply ill-prepared,” he says.

He adds: “The thing that’s not talked about very much is that graduates, particularly from… often very intellectually challenging degrees, go into work and go, this is really boring.”

He advises employers to “think a bit harder… about what your students are actually capable of because they are highly capable.”

Think a bit harder about what they could be really outstanding at,” Ed says.

“There will be some things they can be better at than you are currently, and not just technology, right? Which is the sort of lazy perspective.”

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Can TikTok’s ‘Hair Theory’ Help You Look Decades Younger?

There really might be some truth to the expression “New hair, new you.” Search “hair theory” on TikTok, and you’ll find hundreds of videos of users transforming their whole vibe by simply changing how they style their hair:

One minute, they’re a business professional with a tightly pulled-back bun. The next, they’re an easygoing flower child with loose, bouncy curls, then a fun, edgy rocker chick with a flip of the hair. Even subtle changes like the positioning of someone’s part can completely transform how they are perceived.

But how you style your hair can also dramatically alter how people perceive another thing about you — your age.

A refreshed hairstyle instantly transforms the Golden Girls from America’s favorite retirees into contenders for a “Sex and the City” reboot. Likewise, short, stiff styles can make actors like Jennifer Aniston and Julia Roberts look like they’re ready to embark on their fifth Viking River Cruise.

Often, people trying to shave a few years off their appearance might focus on staying on top of the latest makeup and clothing trends. But changing your hairstyle could be the missing piece of the puzzle to look decades younger.

“It’s always the hair!” said Nicky Clarke, a hairstylist who was honored with the Officer of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire in 2008 for his contributions to the British hairdressing industry.

“You can change your clothes, you change your makeup… but it’s always the hair. You can instantly make somebody look younger or older [with their hair],” said Clarke.

Jalia Pettis, a Phoenix-based hairstylist, has also seen the transformative nature of hairstyles firsthand.

“A hairstyle can change your whole vibe. I’ve seen it happen countless times as a session stylist who works on set,” Pettis said.

If you’re ready to undergo your hairstyle transformation (and maybe wind back the clock on your appearance a few years), these are the key areas our experts say to focus on.

Color

Unsurprisingly, gray hair is one of the most obvious hints of aging, and many women visit their local salon for regular color touch-ups.

However, our experts stress that the key to looking younger isn’t just about covering up the grays. It’s essential to pick the right color.

“When a hair color is too flat or doesn’t complement the skin tone, it can make fine lines or dullness more noticeable, which can unintentionally age you,” Pettis said.

Rather than a flat color, try adding highlights or lowlights to keep your style looking youthful and fresh, recommends Joseph Maine, celebrity hairstylist and co-founder of Trademark Beauty.

Mary Steenburgen at age 71 in March 2024.

Jordan Strauss via Associated Press

Mary Steenburgen at age 71 in March 2024.

“Adding warm tones to your hair can really brighten up your complexion and bring a more youthful glow to aging skin by giving it that extra bit of warmth and color,” Maine said.

According to Clarke, the key to appearing more youthful is creating softness. Clarke recommends a slightly softer color around the face to create a smoother, more youthful look.

“If you’re a blonde, having those slightly lighter pieces within your honey tones tends to make things pop. If you’re a brunette, you can have those slightly dark honey tones around the face,” Clarke said.

Halle Berry at age 58 on Sept. 16, 2024

Evan Agostini via Associated Press

Halle Berry at age 58 on Sept. 16, 2024

But if you’re done with the constant upkeep of maintaining colored hair, you can still rock your silver locks while keeping your look fresh. A salt-and-pepper mix tends to age people, according to Clarke, but pure colors tend to be more flattering.

“We can see women who have got that wonderful Silver Fox thing going on,” Clarke said. “And that works because it’s almost not gray; it’s a pure color, whether it be a silver gray or a white.”

Andie MacDowell at age 66 on May 24, 2024.

Scott A Garfitt via Associated Press

Andie MacDowell at age 66 on May 24, 2024.

Texture

When you look at pictures of yourself in your 20s, you might notice something different about your hair that you can’t quite put your finger on. The cut and color are the same, so why does your hair look so different now?

“As we age, the texture and density of our hair changes,” Pettis said. “But there are things you can do to keep it healthy and looking youthful. It’s all about moisture, protection, and retention.”

Salma Hayek at age 58 on Oct. 29, 2024.

Evan Agostini via Associated Press

Salma Hayek at age 58 on Oct. 29, 2024.

To keep your hair in tip-top shape, Pettis recommends investing in deep conditioning products and products that strengthen your hair.

Ingredients like keratin, collagen and hydrating oils can also help maintain your hair’s youthful shine and elasticity, Maine said.

Our expert stylists also stress that as you age, protecting your delicate strands becomes even more important, particularly when styling your hair. Opt for low-heat styling options or use heat-protectant products to protect your locks and prevent breakage.

Cut and style

With trends constantly shifting and changing, the hottest hairstyles of the past can now instantly reveal your age. Even millennials have had to face the music as their beloved side parts were declared “old” by Gen Z.

If you can’t seem to embrace the Gen Z middle part, fret not. When choosing a new, fresh look, our stylists encourage picking styles that flatter your unique features, rather than pursuing whatever is currently trendy.

“It’s all about keeping things soft and touchable to avoid anything that feels too rigid or stuck in time,” Maine said. “Personally, I think it’s important to pay attention to your features, texture, and lifestyle when choosing an appropriate style more so than age.”

Short hair

Due to its easier upkeep, many older women tend to adopt shorter hair, causing some people to associate shorter locks with maturity. But according to our experts, that doesn’t mean a shorter style will necessarily age you.

“There are times when shorter hair works much better than longer hair because you can make short hair with a kind of a sporty feel to it,” Clarke said.

Jamie Lee Curtis at age 65 on Sept. 6, 2024.

Evan Agostini via Associated Press

Jamie Lee Curtis at age 65 on Sept. 6, 2024.

“A short pixie cut can lift the face and emphasize cheekbones,” Maine said. “Long hair can sometimes drag the face down.”

If you go for the big chop, our experts recommend that you avoid overly structured styles (like the infamous “Karen” haircut) and stick to softer, looser styles.

“I always say that to create a younger look, the objective is to try and get hair that has movement in it,” Clarke said.

Long hair

While longer hair tends to be associated with youth, Maine cautions that as your hair ages and its color and texture change, longer hair can potentially make you look older.

“Very often, long hair is dragging you down if it’s not cut and styled right,” Clarke said.

That said, it doesn’t mean long hair is completely out of the cards for you in your golden years.

“If someone has a silky hair texture or can rock a voluminous blowout to balance out their proportions, longer hair can absolutely work!” Maine said. “This is why it’s so important to consider all factors instead of just saying ‘older women should avoid short hair if they want to look youthful.’”

Sarah Jessica Parker at age 59 on Oct. 9, 2024.

Charles Sykes via Associated Press

Sarah Jessica Parker at age 59 on Oct. 9, 2024.

For longer hairstyles, Maine recommends soft layers around the face to create shape and make your hair look touchable.

Not ready to let go of the old ’do?

Even if you feel like it’s time for a change, struggling with letting go of your old hairstyle is not unusual. When changing your style, our experts recommend going at your own pace to find a look you absolutely love.

“My advice to anyone looking to step outside their comfort zone is to trust your gut,” Pettis said. “The moment you start second-guessing and letting other people’s opinions sway you, that’s when you step into dangerous territory.”

Fortunately, with a smartphone and a selfie, you see whether a new style works for you without ever setting foot in a salon.

“Using technology is a fantastic way to try out a new hairstyle before fully committing,” Maine said. “There are tons of apps that let you see different cuts and colors on your face, making it easy to quickly figure out if a style might suit you.”

And once you get your hair cut, bear in mind that it may take time to adjust to your new look — and that’s OK.

“No matter your age, it can be tough to see yourself differently, especially if you’ve had the same look for a while,” Maine said. “Hair frames your face and is closely tied to your identity, so it’s completely normal to need an adjustment period when making a big change.”

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People In Their 40s And 50s Are Sharing What Life Is Like Without Children

The subject of having children is a sensitive one, regardless of where you stand.

For those that have decided against becoming parents, though, there are often warnings that they’ll ‘regret’ not bringing children into the world or that they’ll have nobody to look after them when they’re older.

Even if you are firm and confident in your stance, it can get exhausting trying to argue against these comments, especially when they’re coming from parents who just can’t imagine life without children.

Thankfully, in a response to the question, “People in their 40s and 50s with no children, how does it feel?”, Redditors have shared exactly what life without children is like…

One commenter said: “I never wanted kids. It was worst nightmare to have them. I did everything I could to avoid them, and I’m very happy to have done so.

“Now I just need my work to respect my off time and my life will be perfect. I have more spending power than everyone I know, and I can do whatever I like, and whenever I want. You could not pay me enough to have made the other choice.”

Another agreed, saying: “I have the freedom and funds to take off for a few weeks to travel anywhere in the world when I feel like it. Did do that a few times already and it was def an experience every time. Or if I feel like it, do nothing at all. I can do whatever the fuck I want and that’s priceless to me.

“Would my life be better or worst with kids? Hard to say tbh but the freedom alone I have right now makes me feel like it’s better than not.”

One icon shared their afternoon plans, saying: “I just had three margaritas and am going to take a nap. Do what you will with that information.”

Even people who love kids are happy to not have their own

Visual-Lobster6625 said: “I knew I’d never be fit to be a mother full time. So I spent my 20′s and 30′s as a Girl Scout leader, having fun and sending the kids home at the end of meetings.

“Sometimes I wish I could know what pregnancy feels like, but I’m glad I don’t have a child of my own.”

Formiscontent added: “I’m very glad to have been a part of the lives of my brother’s kids but I would have been a terrible parent myself, so it’s all good.”

Theniwokesoftly agreed, saying: “Yes! I adore being an aunt. I mean, I’m technically in my thirties for a few more days, and the kids are very young but like I took the toddler to the zoo on Friday.

“We had a blast. She’s pretty little to get a lot of it, but she really loved watching the meerkats zoom around their habitat.”

One comment added a sobering but fair response, saying: “I’d rather regret not having kids, than have kids, and regret having kids.”

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5 Food Habits People Say Are Socially Acceptable, But Really Shouldn’t Be

As somebody that used to believe that there was nothing more decadent than an entire block of brie after a night out, I do not have much of a high horse when it comes to other people’s guilty pleasures.

However, upon reading a Reddit thread titled, “What is socially acceptable but you still shouldn’t do it?”, I’m starting to think that my cheesy indulgence might actually be forgivable.

Don’t read these while you’re eating…

The top-rated comment was about a person after my own heart, saying: “I saw someone sat on a bench eating a ball of mozzarella like an apple once”

What can I say, us soft cheese aficianados don’t need crackers.

User Effective_witness_63 (probably shouldn’t have) admitted: “I’ve drank pots of yoghurt in public before, people do look at you like you’re some kind of savage tho lol.”

Spoons exist for a reason!!!

Another added a story about a customer at their old workplace, saying that the customer would buy a steak bake and milk and then “take a bite then swig before chewing it all up together.”

They added that this was the customer’s Saturday treat, to which Glitterkelxo responded: “I wish I never read this.”

Huge mood.

User Doorwedge added a comment that actually made me gasp VERY loudly, saying: ”[I] Had a temp job in a warehouse and as part of a guys lunch he ate 3 Oxo cubes straight out of the foil.”

Heartburn?! No?!

Commenter The_cake_in_Matilda added: “Guy at my old work (supermarket) used to get a full Victoria Sponge, sit in the break room with a fork and go to town on one……EVERY SINGLE SHIFT.”

A king, a hero, and frankly, not somebody that deserves judgement from the monstrosity that was the cake in Matilda.

The one that really made me gag, made me question humanity and wonder if there is any good in the world, though, was: “I once was on a bus when a guy reached into his bag and picked out an onion which he preceded to eat like an apple.”

Horrified.

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Feeling Helpless After The Election? Here Are 6 Expert Tips To Deal With Stress

Donald Trump has won the 2024 US general election ― and seven in ten Brits think he’s not going to be a great president.

Those watching the election fallout outside of the States may feel an uneasy mix of investment and powerlessness; it must be far worse for Kamala voters in the country.

So we thought we’d reach out to some therapists this National Stress Awareness Day (apt) for advice on how to manage feelings of hopelessness and even despair that people who wanted a different result may be experiencing.

Here’s what they had to say:

Trump’s win “has sent shockwaves around the globe leaving people, US citizens and supporters, friends and family around the world incredibly scared, anxious, confused and let down.”

BACP member, psychotherapist, coach, keynote speaker, and author Bhavna Raithatha told HuffPost UK: “Unfortunately, this has been anything but a natural or normal presidential race. For those now in the crosshairs, life just changed unequivocally.”

The news can be especially challenging for women, minorities and the LGBTQ+ community, the psychotherapist points out.

“There is already fear present for… communities who have been targeted for generations based on their gender, skin colour and sexuality to name a few. Now, with a president who has been given unchecked power to be ‘a dictator just for a day’ by the highest court in the land, we don’t know what will happen,” Bhavna said.

“There is real fear from families about being split apart and deported. Equally, there is great fear from communities often racially profiled who feel they may be targeted by police who will be given unchecked and unrestricted powers,” she added.

It can also be “deeply concerning” to know that a “hate-fuelled,” “divisive” campaign won so many votes, she added.

With all that said, the psychotherapist shared that it’s “natural that today’s outcome will be the source of a great deal of stress and feelings of hopelessness and loss” due to “the grief of lost hope and expectations.”

“If you are affected by the outcome today, take time to process it. Talk it through with friends and family. Speak to your religious leaders. Speak to a therapist or your social network,” Bhavna advised.

“Remember, you are not alone. It is natural to be frightened – these are unprecedented times. Take time to be still and let this moment pass and the dust settle. This isn’t the first time an election has disappointed voters. Look after yourself and check in on friends and loved ones.”

“As a therapist, I have been exposed to people’s fears and concerns related to the US election and what it means to them (even for non-Americans).”

BACP member and psychotherapist Vicky Reynal told HuffPost UK: “People might feel strongly impacted by the election results because ultimately, when the political party we support loses, it might feel like a rejection of our personal values, almost invalidating our way of seeing the world.”

She added: “It may also feel disempowering – not just for those who feel immediately threatened by some of the proposed policies of Trump’s agenda, but also because a party loss can trigger a sense that our group, the one we feel we belong to politically is vulnerable.”

Vicky says you don’t have to ignore feelings of stress, anxiety, panic, hopelessness, or despair.

“I think it’s important to take a step back and acknowledge all the feelings that the election results have evoked. Not just the ‘top level’ disappointment, but also the deeper fears and anxieties it brings up. Leaving room for all the feelings is important,” she told HuffPost UK.

But she adds: “There is still scope in one’s life to advocate for one’s views and beliefs (so plenty of action that you can still take to restore a sense of agency). There are also plenty, plenty of people who hold similar views and wouldn’t invalidate the lens we see the world through.”

For now, Vicky says, you may benefit from distraction.

“At a practical level, now that results are out it might be a good time to ask oneself whether reading what’s in the media is helpful or whether it is unsettling and fuelling the hopelessness,” she advised.

“Curate the sources so what you are exposed to isn’t fatalistic, feeding into your catastrophic (worst case scenario) fears.”

“It might be a good time, if the anxiety is overwhelming to focus on things/activities that you do find calming and soothing (time with loved ones, physical exercise, a hobby).”

If you need professional help, the psychotherapist adds, seek it.

Help and support:

  • Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
  • Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
  • CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
  • The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
  • Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.
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I’ve Tried Over 30 Brownie Recipes ― The Best Ones All Omit This Common Ingredient

Some people treat fudgy vs cakey brownie discourse like it’s a debate. It’s not; the latter is a chocolate traybake, and the former is a proper, you know, brownie.

After all, no less than the Cambridge Dictionary defines them as “a small, square chocolate cake that is soft in the middle.”

With that understanding, I’ve long been on the hunt for the fudgiest, densest, most chocolate-y of chocolate brownie recipes.

I’ve tried Gordon Ramsay’s (fine, but not quite the right texture), Nigella Lawson’s (delicious but, again, not as relentlessly squidgy as I prefer), and even Mary Berry’s (dare I say it; they were a little lacklustre too).

Only a few recipes stood up to my gooey-base, paper-thin crispy top standards; and all of them had a counterintuitive secret in common.

Which is?

It sounds completely wrong, but the densest, fudgy-est brownies I’ve made have never featured melted chocolate in the batter.

Part of the reason why that feels so untrue is that melted chocolate is so luxurious, so extravagant, and so, well, chocolate-y. Why would something so cocoa-lly good make a chocolate dessert less sumptuous?

All I can say is it turns out Bon Appetit found the same thing I did when testing brownie recipes: “As compared to those made with just chocolate or a combination of the two, cocoa brownies are reliably superior in terms of texture and flavour,” they shared.

That’s partly because chocolate contains a fat called cocoa butter, which is solid at room temperature (hence, you bite a chocolate bar rather than spread it on your toast).

But when you include cocoa powder, which contains next to none of the fat, your batter is forced to rely on the other fat in the mix for its texture ― butter.

Dairy butter is just about solid at room temperature, but much less so than its cocoa cousin.

That means brownies made without melted chocolate in the batter take on more of the properties of the butter; they’re softer, more velvet-y, and gooier when cold.

Then, there’s a question of taste; good cocoa is, well, 100% cocoa, while chocolate will always be somewhat tempered.

That leads to a darker, denser, more chocolate-y flavour.

So what’s the best recipe?

I do actually add some chocolate chunks (never chips) to the brownie mix after it’s all combined. Because it’s not incorporated into the batter, it doesn’t affect the brownie’s texture as much, and it tastes amazing.

But if you ask me, a person who has tried about 32 different variations, the best recipe around is from Hugh Fearnely-Whittingstall.

I have screenshotted, sent, and then saved his steps on multiple email accounts and written them out physically in more than two notebooks in case The Guardian ever take the page down.

“For me, brownie nirvana is a crackled, shiny top beneath which lies a rich, dense and chewy middle, verging on the underdone,” the food pro wrote ― and he delivered.

The only note I have is to skip the walnuts he suggests as an optional add-in in place of chocolate chips. Come on ― we all know why we’re really here.

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3 Of The Best Sex Toys I’ve Tried Are 50% Off Right Now – You’ll Never Call Your Ex Again

We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, HuffPost UK may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

One of the best perks of my job as a sex and relationships writer is the truly endless number of sex toys I get to review. And trust me – after you’ve tried as many as I have (mum, this is where you stop reading), you learn that not every vibrator is built the same.

However, if you’re a sex toy novice, it can sometimes be quite overwhelming trying to understand what you should buy for your spicy toolkit and what is actually worth the money – bedside drawer space is valuable real estate people!

Well, if you’re looking for some silicone support for your sex life, I’ve discovered not just one, but an entire RANGE of sex toys that will hit the spot (ahem) whether you’re a beginner or seasoned sex toy pro.

SexToys.co.uk has the UK’s largest catalogue of adult toys including vibrators, dildos, and sex toys for all genders, so it’s unsurprising that it’s home to my favourite new collection – The One.

The best selling US sex toy brand is exclusively available at SexToys.co.uk and boasts a variety of toys so perfectly inclusive, there is something for everyone.

When it comes to essentials, The One Power Couple kit is an amazing starting point as it comes with both The One Rose and The One Wand – two must-haves when it comes to achieving different types of clitoral stimulation.

We’ll take both, thanks.

The One Rose is made of body-safe silicone and features innovative pressure wave technology that combines with stimulation to deliver plenty of chills. You can choose from three different speeds and seven patterns of suction and pulsation, giving you plenty of options to work your way through (although, it certainly won’t feel like work).

Meanwhile The One Wand boasts a whopping 10 different vibration speeds and patterns which means it will quickly become one of your favourite pleasure products – it also warms up quickly to body temperature for a more comfortable feel.

And don’t worry about having to stock up on an endless supply of AA batteries anytime soon – both items are rechargeable. The fun doesn’t have to stay limited to the bedroom either as the pleasure-inducing pair are both completely waterproof.

The best bit? Okay, apart from the end result of using them – so technically, the second best bit… they’re super easy to use. A single button powers The One Rose on and off, as well as cycles the product through its 3 speeds and 7 patterns of suction and pulsation.

The kit is a whopping 50% off at the moment too, taking the price down from £159 to just £79.60 – an absolute barg for two top of the range sex toys. The One Rose and The One Wand can also be bought separately – and they’re 40% off at the moment too!

Meanwhile if you’re looking for internal vibrators – The One Thrusting Rabbit is truly good enough to stop you in your tracks from texting your ex. With a shaft and bunny-shaped clitoral stimulator that deliver intense vibrations, this piece gets an added boost from the thrusting function that does the work for you (I am nothing if not a total pillow princess when it comes to solo enjoyment). With 10 different thrusting speeds to choose from, it’s the perfect vibrator to add to your rotation.

Oh – and it’s 51% off.

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9 Dating Experts On How To End A Bad First Date Like A Pro

You’ve gotten past the dreaded talking stage, made plans and now finally, it’s here! The first date with someone new! And it’s going well! They’re exciting, they’re amazing, they’re… actually really, really boring and oh my fucking god I need to get out of here.

Yup, we’ve all been there when a date isn’t actually all we hoped it’d crack up to be – but cutting a first date short when things aren’t clicking isn’t always easy. You’ll often consider your date’s feelings above our own and no one wants to come out with some lame excuse about your dog needing a bath.

In an era of all or nothing dating, research from Tinder revealed that singles know within 30 mins whether the spark is there or not – so how do we get out when there’s not even a flicker?

Do we just grin and bear it? Well, as Paul Brunson, Tinder’s global relationship insights expert points out: “While it can feel uncomfortable to cut a date short, prolonging it when you’re not feeling it, might actually be less considerate in the long run.”

So what’s the right way to get out? We asked dating experts for their advice and they’ve come up with a plan so perfect, you’ll never find yourself having to get a friend to phone with an ‘emergency’ again.

It’s all in the preparation

When we sent out our questions (see: call for help) to dating experts, the same idea came back time and time again – organise a first date that won’t go on too long, so that you don’t find yourself in an awkward position where you might need to cut it short.

“For first dates where you don’t know the person well, it can be helpful to mention a time constraint as a backup, such as, ‘Thursday sounds great! I do have a deadline on Friday, so don’t keep me out too late!’,” clinical psychologist Dr Sarah Bishop tells us.

Rather than organise a dinner followed by drinks for your first encounter with someone new, opt instead for something low-key.

“Simple dates like meeting for a coffee or drinks are great options,” Sylvia Linzalone, FindingTheOne.com’s relationship guru says.

“And if it’s really going terribly, you won’t have to sit around forever – just drink up and say your goodbyes.”

Time frames are also a fail-safe way to make sure you don’t end up sitting wishing you’d never said yes in the first place – our favourite came from Jamie Johnston, founder of the neurodiverse friendly dating app Mattr, who suggested: “I have an hour free before meeting a friend if you would like to catch up.”

Westend61 via Getty Images

“You have given a clear time frame and also a commitment after which means they won’t try and lengthen the time,” he points out.

And if you’re actually quite enjoying the date? Well, as Dr Melissa Cook at FunWithFeet and Sofia Gray says: “If you do enjoy their company you can always say that you can stay longer.”

OK but I failed to prepare – GET ME OUT

OK, OK, don’t panic. It sounds cliché as hell, but it’s true – honesty is in fact the best policy.

We know it’s scary, but you owe it to yourself – AND the other person.

As dating Expert at Pure, Drew Wyllie puts it: “Now, cutting a first date short requires nerves of steel and (if you don’t want to go out with a bang) a good amount of tact and empathy. The thing is, as humans we are often scared of letting people down – especially when it comes to dating and meeting new people.

In the past within my dating life, I have stayed on the fence about not making my intentions clear and telling people that I’m not sure, and in the end this just makes the situation worse as you can lead the other person on and make them think romance is on the cards when in reality – it’s not.”

When it comes to saying ‘okay that’s enough now’, the main thing is HOW you deliver that honesty.

If the conversation has dried up, you feel a lack of chemistry or the date simply isn’t going anywhere, it’s okay to acknowledge that. Think about how you’re feeling in the moment and don’t be afraid to share it with your date,” Dr. Lalitaa Suglani, a relationship expert for eharmony advises.

Being polite doesn’t mean hiding your feelings. If you think it’s time to end a date, don’t make excuses or be overly apologetic. Instead, try a gentle yet straightforward approach. Say something like: ‘I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, but I don’t see this going any further romantically’. This sets a clear boundary without being hurtful, your date will appreciate the honesty and it avoids leaving things in limbo.”

And while we’re on the topic of being polite, letting the other person know that you appreciate their time is also a must according to Dr. Tara (yes, from Celebs Go Dating!).

She also shared the PERFECT framework for a post-date follow-up text for if you’re not in the market for a second date:

“Whether it’s in person or via text, we need to always use empathetic communication – you can do this in three different ways.

1. You can say thank you for your time, but I don’t feel a romantic connection.

2. You can say it has been lovely to meet you but I don’t think we have any chemistry.

3. if you want to remain friends because you like them as a person, but not romantically, then you can say I had so much fun today. I did not feel any chemistry, but if you would like it would be nice if we can remain friends.”

And finally, you don’t need to be polite if the person you’re on a date with is rude as hell – we’re allowed to put our feelings first.

“The situation is a bit different if the date is going poorly because the other person is being inconsiderate—like checking their phone constantly or not being present,” intimacy expert Magda Kay reminds us.

“In that case, I believe you owe it to yourself to speak up. It’s perfectly okay to be direct and say something like, ‘I don’t feel like you’re fully present, and I don’t think either of us is enjoying this. It’s probably best to end it now.’

“Being honest in situations where the other person isn’t showing respect is important, both for giving them feedback and for standing up for yourself. It’s about learning to speak up when you’re not being treated well.”

Consider us told!

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How Technology Will Change The Future Of Stroke Diagnosis And Treatment

Anyone who has an Apple Watch or an equivalent will tell you it’s made them more acutely aware of their health. With features such as heart rate and rhythmn detection, fall detection and even medical ID included, wearable health technology gives users a real-time idea of their wellbeing.

Now, Nirave Gondhia, founder of House of Tech has said that he believes the lasting legacy of Apple will be the Watch.

In an article for Digital Trends, Gondhia said: “The Apple Watch is the most important device that Apple sells right now.

“Of all the products on Apple’s shelves, it’s the one that markedly improves your life. There’s a suite of health features that could save your life, including high and low-heart-rate notifications, EKG, fall detection, and blood pressure monitoring.”

He also added: “The suite of Apple Health features available today is already incredibly strong. Looking down the road for the next few year, it only stands to get better.”

Medical experts are also excited for the future of digital technology for health

Neurosurgeon Richard D. Fessler M.D said: “Wearable technology can look for possible stroke risk factors, such as sleep apnoea, that may be affecting a patient without them realising it — something that an annual check-up would never detect.

“And it can constantly monitor things like body temperature that, when elevated, may trigger a stroke. The patient’s provider has access to all of the information gathered by the wearable, and can reach out to the patient if they see anything that needs to be addressed.”

Dr. Anne Lepetit, Chief Medical Officer at Bupa said: “The potential for digital healthcare to transform stroke prevention and recovery has never been clearer.

“Wearable devices connected to health apps can track vital signs in real-time, analysing trends and flagging risk patterns, so you can take preventative action. Remote consultations make it easier for patients to access expert advice, and personalised health programmes to help patients stay engaged with lifestyle changes, such as diet and exercise, that lower stroke risk.”

Hopefully, these revelations will make wearable tech more accessible and affordable to patients.

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Noticing This While Walking May Be An Early Sign Of Dementia

You may already know that shuffling your feet while walking can be an early sign of dementia, affecting someone’s ability to, say, go up the stairs.

But scientists may have identified another possible early symptom that shows up in your stride.

A 2022 study, published in JAMA Network Open, didn’t look at walking on its own; they compared older people’s hiking styles to their memory.

The changes in walking didn’t mean much without a decline in certain cognitive skills, they say.

But those who notice differences in their walk alongside cognitive changes, referred to by the study as “dual decliners,” had a higher risk of developing dementia than the rest of the participants.

How did it work?

Researchers looked at data from 16,855 older participants in Australia and the US.

They examined gait speed in two-year intervals across seven years, and again in the final year.

They also looked at cognitive changes (in memory, verbal fluency, mental processing speed, and “global” cognition) at years 0, 1, 3, 5, and at the close-out of the test.

They found that people who both saw a slowing of their walking speed and a decline in their cognitive ability (especially memory) were far more likely to have dementia.

“Association between domains, such as processing speed and verbal fluency, with gait have been explained by the crossover in the underlying networks or pathology,” the paper says.

It continues, “Of domains examined, the combination of decline in gait speed with memory had the strongest association with dementia risk. These findings support the inclusion of gait speed in dementia risk screening assessments.”

Does this mean walking more slowly over time is a dementia sign?

No ― again, it was only relevant when paired with cognitive changes.

If you suspect dementia in yourself or a loved one, the NHS advises you to see a GP as soon as possible.

Bringing up the topic with a loved one can be hard, they say, so be sure you approach the topic gently, in a situation they’re familiar with, and without rushing.

“A diagnosis of dementia can also help people with these symptoms, and their families and friends, make plans so they’re prepared for the future,” they add.

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