You know when you stumble across something that damn near makes you spit out your tea? We’ve got one of those for you.
Did you know that menstrual blood can flow backwards into your body? Yep. According to an in-depth, interesting and, frankly, wild thread posted by the Vagina Museum to X, formerly known as Twitter, we’re now the wiser.
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The Vagina Museum, described on its website as “the world’s first brick and mortar museum dedicated to vaginas, vulvas and the gynaecological anatomy,” has a vision “of a world where no one is ashamed of their bodies, everyone has bodily autonomy and all of humanity works together to build a society than is free and equal.”
After spilling the tea on this little bit of info, you can bet we’re feeling informed.
Most of you have probably never heard this before, but… ✨it’s perfectly normal for some of your period blood to flow in the wrong direction and into your pelvis✨
It’s called retrograde menstruation and most of the time it’s perfectly harmless!
The thread explains that this is actually pretty common, and — for the most part, is harmless, except for the fact that this bodily function might have contributed to some misinformation on a *literal* astronomical scale.
“In the 1920s, the first theory on the cause of endometriosis was posited. John A. Sampson proposed that endometriosis was caused by retrograde menstruation – period blood flowing backwards into the pelvic organs, rather than out through the cervix,” reads the post.
However, this theory that Sampson presented wasn’t actually true but remained a popular school of thought for years to come. It was so popular, that it became an influential factor in NASA’s “reticence to send women into space until the 1980s.”
So how does menstrual blood flow *backwards* then?
You might wonder *how* blood can escape from the womb into the body.
In another spit-your-drink-out moment, the Vagina Museum shared that our ovaries aren’t actually attached to the fallopian tubes. “They kind of noodle around in there, meaning that blood can pass from the uterus that way,” they wrote.
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The truth is that the body knows how to deal with the backwash, and the immune system usually breaks down anything left over, meaning there’s no clear relationship between period problems and retrograde menstruation.
But, why does it happen?
The Vagina Museum says, “It’s uncertain exactly why sometimes menstrual blood goes up instead of down, and it could be as simple as the effect of gravity: if you’re lying down, the blood goes the other way.”
So, there you have it.
Sometimes we bleed internally and we’re none-the-wiser, it doesn’t cause endometriosis, though no one can agree what causes it — and, ovaries and fallopian tubes float about like the women astronauts might have had they been allowed in space before the 80s.
And with that, we’ve officially run out of tea to spit.
I grew up in a small Southern town where everyone knew everyone else’s business, and often gossiped about it. That’s typical of many small towns in America, but I never found myself at the centre of any of that gossip.
That all changed when at 56, I launched an OnlyFans account that immediately took off and made me a huge adult entertainment star.
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To say that my career change was out of the ordinary is an understatement. After 30 years of working a corporate job and raising a family, my life was mundane. I felt trapped in a loveless, sexless marriage and wondered if this was all there was to life.
I let my hair go grey during the Covid-19 pandemic. Bitterly unhappy, I put on weight. I drank a lot of wine. I cried – a lot. After years of battling bulimia, finally overcoming it and making healthy choices, I was heading in the wrong direction once again.
Desperate to make a change, I gathered up all of the courage that I had inside and asked for a divorce. I decided that I would rather be alone than unhappy in my relationship, and I felt at that time that I would probably be alone for the rest of my life.
Then I met Cam.
I was intrigued by this well-spoken, highly intelligent man 20 years my junior. He was the most handsome man that I had ever seen, so I was convinced that he couldn’t have felt the same electricity I did when our eyes met for the first time.
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But I was mistaken.
To my amazement, he asked me out, and our relationship quickly turned physical. I was blown away to find that my sensual side, which I had repressed for so many years, was just waiting for the right person to revive it.
Courtesy of Rae Richmond
The author poses with her boyfriend, Cam, who “made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world,” she writes.
Our connection was magic. It was electric. It was wild.
The camera soon came out. We found that we enjoyed taking pictures and making videos of ourselves in intimate moments. It was so exciting and added a new layer of intensity to our bedroom romps.
Cam made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, and as a result, my confidence soared. I started taking care of myself again — emotionally, mentally and physically. Cam is a personal trainer, so he helped me find a routine that worked for me, and I was thrilled by how it made me feel and look.
We started talking about the possibility of sharing our sexy pics and videos on OnlyFans, and the thought was a huge turn-on for both of us.
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Because I have a business background, I started to research the mature entertainment creator niche and learned that men in their 20s, 30s and 40s were the primary demographic for content made by women my age. I once would have been surprised by that, but having a 36-year-old boyfriend who was totally hot for me made me realise that the age-gap fantasy is definitely a thing!
Courtesy of Rae Richmond
The author in 1983
I asked Cam If he really thought that anyone would be interested in watching a 56-year-old woman take her clothes off and have sex. He laughed and said: “Baby, the way you do it — definitely!”
I first posted on OnlyFans on May 7, 2023. Just a few months later, I am already one of the most successful creators on the platform, which blows my mind.
As soon as I launched my account, I began to gain popularity through my various social media platforms and started getting requests to do podcasts and interviews.
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It’s been extremely empowering for me to own my own sexuality as Cam and I have fun creating our scenes. He is quite creative and conceptualises most of our content, which we love making. We often act out storylines and use things like fluorescent paint and black lights to bring something extra to our photos and videos. Our real-life passion and chemistry translate very well onto film, and my subscribers absolutely love it.
While I keep my real identity secret for safety reasons, I am not ashamed of what I do, and I’m very proud of the work Cam and I do together. The response to my content has been overwhelmingly positive, so I was not prepared for the reactions from many of the people in my hometown when they found out about my sexy new career.
Courtesy of Rae Richmond
The author in 1997
I’m not sure who first learned about my OnlyFans account. My guess is that someone in my hometown subscribed without knowing it was me and then got the surprise of their life once they realised who I was, or maybe someone’s husband became a subscriber. I may never know for sure.
I started receiving hate-filled messages from someone who knew my real identity and called me a “hypocrite” (because I am a Christian and attend church regularly). They posted on social media, tagging both my stage name and real name, and said that people who knew me should “see what I’m really like”.
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I was so hurt and puzzled – I would never do anything to hurt anyone, and whoever did this had malicious intent. The hateful words they spewed at me, including comments that I’m serving Satan and going to hell, cut me to the core.
The situation quickly snowballed from there as more and more people found out about my career. People I barely know are angry that I didn’t tell them about my new life, as if they somehow had a right to this information.
Weeks later, I am still receiving messages, and people are still talking about me in thinly veiled, passive-aggressive posts on social media. They’re claiming “my world will come crashing down” and condemning “people who live double lives.”
A few people from my hometown sent supportive messages but asked me not to tell anyone about their support for my new career — because they were worried they would also become targets of this mob.
I’ve tried to explain to the few people who have been willing to listen that I’m still the same person I was before. I’ve asked a few of them to explain to me where their rules for my life are laid out.
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Could I have sex with my 20-years-younger boyfriend or not? Would that be OK with them as long as we didn’t film it? Is it OK to film it as long as we don’t let anyone watch it? Is it a sin because I put it on the internet for people to watch, or was it already a sin? What about what they’re all doing in their bedrooms? Do other people have a right to have an opinion on that? Did any of them have sex outside of marriage or live with their partner? Is any of this anyone else’s business? Are they suggesting that we should all have to put it all out there and let everyone vote on it?
Courtesy of Rae Richmond
The author and Cam pose with their dogs, Dax and Daisy.
It all sounds ludicrous, doesn’t it? And you probably won’t be shocked to learn that I never got a single answer to any of my questions. I’m tired of defending myself.
In the end, all I know is that we are all responsible for our own choices, and I’m happier than I’ve been in years.
I knew going into this that I would need to grow a thick skin because I wasn’t sure what the reaction would be. I did develop that thick skin, but what I didn’t know was that I was going to need it to protect me from those who were supposed to be my friends. I’ve certainly discovered who I can truly rely on and, in many cases, there is a fine line between hater and (supposed) friend.
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I’ve learned to stand up for myself, trust my own instincts, and make my own decisions and proudly stand by them. I’ve learned to lean on those who offer me unconditional love and support and to sidestep everyone else. I’ve learned that when a woman takes control of her life, some people will be scared, and they’ll go to great lengths to try and bring her down. I’ve learned that none of that matters because I know who I am, I’m not ashamed, and I refuse to be shamed by narrow-minded busybodies.
I’m going to keep creating my content and expressing myself in whatever way that Cam and I choose. As long as it works for us, we enjoy creating it and my subscribers love it, everyone else will just have to live with it. They might also want to ask themselves why they care so much about how another person chooses to live their life when it has no impact on them whatsoever.
Courtesy of Rae Richmond
“I’ve learned that when a woman takes control of her life, some people will be scared, and they’ll go to great lengths to try and bring her down,” the author writes.
Someone once told me that it costs $0.00 to mind your own business, but that’s apparently too expensive for some people. I believe they may be on to something there. Even if we don’t agree with one another, there is no reason why we cannot be kind and respectful of others’ choices.
My OnlyFans account continues to grow in popularity, and I will continue to live my life unapologetically — hopefully using my social media platforms to encourage other women to do the same. The best advice that I have for anyone who may find themselves in a similar situation would be to stay true to yourself and what you believe in and continue to follow your heart and your dreams. Always remember, if they throw bricks at you, don’t throw them back — pick them up and use them to build your empire!
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Rae Richmond grew up a bit sheltered in a small town in Virginia. She was a wallflower who finally began to blossom and come out of her shell in her 50s. Richmond says she’s “finally exploring different facets of myself” through her onscreen work as a top content creator. In her spare time, she enjoys working out, cooking and baking for friends and family, and taking her two dogs on long walks. In addition to OnlyFans stardom, she is currently voice acting on erotic audio books and writing a book of her own. She has an OnlyFans course for creators in development and expects to launch it in late November. To learn more about her, visit https://linktr.ee/raerichmond777.
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Can we call it “winter” now? I mean, I know it’s just turned November ― but the sun’s down before 5pm, my extra-thick coat has come out of its vacuum-packed home, and my garden’s autumn bounty has officially faded away.
We’re not the only species to feel the shift, either. Birds, bats, hedgehogs, and bees are starting to struggle in the less-plentiful season ― but it turns out that digging a teeny-tiny hole in your garden could help.
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“Combined, our gardens provide a space for wildlife larger than all our National Nature Reserves, so by gardening in a wildlife-friendly way, we can help our spiky companions move around safely and find a home,” The National Wildlife Trusts shared.
But unless the critters have a way into your garden, all of that land is practically useless to animals.
Why does digging a hole help?
“Hedgehogs must feed intensively and be in great condition before hibernating if they are to have enough reserves to last the winter,” Wild About Gardens says.
In fact, the average hedgehog roams 2km a night. To get into prime resting state, they need access to food ― and somewhere to hibernate in the first place.
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We’ve written before about how helpful it can be to pile your dead leaves into a leaf bay or heap rather than removing them entirely (this helps to provide insects and shelter for hedgehogs and other beasts).
We’ve also shared how meat-based cat and dog foods can nourish hedgehogs when left out in your garden ― but without a hedgehog hole to access these, your efforts might be futile.
How can I create a hedgehog highway?
Cutting a small hole in your fence panel with a coping saw, and digging under your pence, removing bricks from walls all work, the RSPCA says. “Hedgehogs can travel through gaps as small as 13x13cm, so these gaps don’t need to be large,” they add.
Of course, you’ll want to get your neighbour’s permission before creating the hole ― especially if you want to create a multi-garden hedgehog highway all down your street with the help of your neighbours.
“Keep an eye out for neighbours doing work on their gardens, or using fencing contractors ― this is the perfect opportunity to get a hedgehog hole put in,” The Wildlife Trust suggests.
Gregory Porter is a Grammy Award-winning jazz musician and actor, best known for his song Liquid Spirit which was featured on the Avengers: Age Of Ultron soundtrack.
He’s currently promoting his new album Christmas Wish and has recently appeared on This Morning, The One Show, and BBC Breakfast to talk about the album and what it means to him.
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The album is deeply personal to the singer with the title song being a tribute to his mum and her kindness.
The 52-year-old said on X (formerly Twitter): “Christmas Wish is a tribute song to my mother, she would cook the most fabulous dinner for the holidays, we would pray over the food, then she would give it away and we would eat left overs.”
He added: “It was such an honourable thing and a great memory, so I have to put that memory in a song.”
Christmas Wish is a tribute song to my mother, she would cook the most fabulous dinner for the holidays, we would pray over the food, then she would give it away and we would eat left overs. It was such an honorable thing and a great memory, so I have to put that memory in a song pic.twitter.com/RqGj8nWgj4
With early reviews of his album describing it as a “soulful, festive gift”, it seems that Porter is well on his way to a successful Christmas season – but fans can’t stop asking one question as he appears in various interviews: what’s the story behind his flat cap hat?
The flat cap – specifically a Kangol Summer Spitfire – has been present throughout most of his career and has been modified to cover both his head and the sides of his face.
Is there a good reason Gregory Porter is wearing that hat?
As ubiquitous as Porter’s hat is, it initially wasn’t a style choice.
Speaking to Jazz Weekly way back in 2012, the singer admitted that it had a real, practical purpose, saying: “I’ve had some surgery on my skin, so this has been my look for a little while and will continue to be for a while longer. People recognise me by it now. It is what it is.”
He also told The Metro: “It started off covering some scars from surgery but it’s become my style. I was in Denver and it was cold. I was wearing five layers of clothing and I wore a hat.
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“It warmed up and I thought, ‘Actually, this is comfortable, this is a look.’ I started to sing in a jazz club in Denver and people were like, ‘Oh yeah, that’s the guy with the hat.’ So it became a thing.”
I don’t know about your household, but mine faces the same debate on repeat: should you rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, or not?
I’d always thought both sides made a valid point ― until I heard from Ian Palmer-Smith, appliance expert at Domestic & General, about the topic.
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“One of the biggest dishwasher myths is that you need to rinse items before loading them,” he shared via email.
Here’s his reasons against pre-rinsing, as well as some other dishwasher tips from the pros.
Why shouldn’t you rinse your dishes before placing them in the dishwasher?
Palmer-Smith says that, in short, the practice is just a bit useless: “Pre-rinsing plates is a bit like hand washing your car before taking it to the car wash.”
Then, there’s the added boiler costs of using extra hot water (which, though likely not a huge percentage of your bill, are best avoided if not needed).
“In reality, [rinsing before dishwasher use] uses extra unnecessary hot water and typically won’t improve the results. Modern dishwashers use high temperatures designed to break down stubborn stains with little trouble,” he says.
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Of course, that’s not to say you should just lob a loaded plate into your appliance, he adds. Scraping is the way forward, Palmer-Smith says, as too much gunk can clog your machine.
He concedes, however: “If you have a pan with some burnt-on food residue it can be a good idea to give it a soak beforehand.”
Still, it’s bad news for the rinsing regiment.
Dishwashers are more energy-efficient than you might think
In case you think I’m escaping the Dish Debate scot-free, you’re wrong; I’m usually a proponent of hand washing, because I always thought dishwashers used way too much energy.
But according to Palmer-Smith, I’m in the wrong.
“Even without pre-rinsing, dishwashers generally use less hot water than hand washing,” he says (that is, of course, if you have a dishwasher already).
“On average, a dishwasher uses water four times more efficiently than washing by hand so if you are running a load when the appliance is full, this can actually ease your energy bills more than most think,” the appliance pro adds ― and it turns out that science agrees.
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Well, that’s a load of stress (literally) off my hands…
Today marks national sex toy day, and — coincidentally, my birthday.
I can think of no better way than to celebrate my 32 sky-dancer-like spins around the sun, than getting to the bottom of the luxury sexy toy biz. Pun intended.
Truth is, I started my sex toy collection with three humble toys. The mains-powered LoveHoney wand, which is now quite old and a bit loud. My simple LoveHoney silicone g-spot dildo and not forgetting, my Satisfyer 2.0. Without fail, these simple and relatively inexpensive tools have been able to get me off consistently for years.
That being said, I can’t deny I haven’t found myself almost salivating at the shop windows of brands that promise the most Earth-shattering orgasms. This is how, one dreary evening, I found myself surrounded by a selection of world-class and award-winning vibrators, wands, g-spot massagers, clit suckers and glass dils, ready to take on the luxury market.
In my bedroom, surrounded by what can only be described as a haul of the most indulgent proportions, I spent two weeks testing each and every one, to find out which ones are better left out of your shopping basket, and which ones give you bang for your buck.
First up is the Womanizer. Made popular by Lily Allen, the Womanizer is a premium bit of kit. And, it doesn’t disappoint. For a clit sucker, it has seriously rumbly vibes, and within 10 seconds my soul has left my body in a back-bending orgasm.
If you’re looking for a very quiet toy, this one is pretty good unless you like things turned up to 11. Nevertheless, it’s easy to see why this has the price tag it does, and as much as I hate to be unfaithful to my regular, it does leave it in the dust.
Next up is Lelo Sona 2 Travel, which is more compact. This palm-sized powerhouse delivers, in and out of the bath, which I loved. It’s super quiet and has a much more focussed head which, for me, works out well if you’re looking to get off quickly.
While these two come in at a pricey £169 and £89 respectively, they certainly feel worth it. However, if you’re looking for something more affordable, then my old fave the Satisfyer 2.0 is a great option, as is Cindy from HANX, (£47.95 and £59.99).
Last up, is the bullet-cum-oral-sex-simulator Amour from Je Joue. This is unlike anything I’ve used before. Coming in at a pretty reasonable £59.99, the silicone is super soft and, with various settings aside, is an extremely versatile toy.
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This would be perfect for someone who prefers a slow build and a fluttery sensation, rather than something more intense (sensitive girlies, I’m looking at you). However, I found turning it on its side delivered targeted vibrations that ended in leg-shaking pleasure.
For me, the clear winner was the Womanizer, which in all honesty, I haven’t been able to put down.
G-Spot Massagers of All Shapes And Sizes
Strap in, folks.
On my list to try was the *stunning* Biird X PURE Gii vibrator, and when I tell you this toy is quiet, I mean whisper quiet. Clocking in at £90, this g-spot massager is slim fitting, with a perfectly angled head. It’s not too long and is great for someone who doesn’t necessarily need to feel “full” to reach climax. It’s also quite tame. Think, less rumble, more fizz.
While I didn’t love this toy, it certainly came down to preference rather than the design or strength. If you love collecting toys that have gorgeous designs, then it’s definitely worth the cash.
Up next was Hot Octopuss’ Kurv. This is a deep, dual-motor toy which has fantastic customisation for a really personalised feel, so you can switch it up depending on what kind of mood you’re in. Coming in at £89.95, this baddie really blew me away and is without a doubt worth the investment.
If you’re looking for something that sits somewhere between the two in terms of buzz, has a pliable and slim feel, and comes in a little cheaper, then the Lennon by Knude Society (£60) is a great option.
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Wands and Bullets
LeWand Rechargeable Massage Wand Vibrator
Now, my trusty LoveHoney wand might be strong enough to make my entire bed rock, but opening up my package from LeWand was about to rock my entire world.
Unlike my trusty plug-in, the head is soft and smooth and still delivers deep, rumbling sensations. It’s a lot quieter too. A lot. There are also no cords to get tangled up in either as it can be used completely wirelessly, though I don’t think it’s as powerful. In any case, it’s the first wand I’ve found that rivals my LoveHoney wand.
I love wands. They’re great for solo play, but they’re brilliant partner play companions too, because — to put it frankly, it’s hard to miss with them. They have a broad head, and can be used on all kinds of genitals. So whoever your partner is, you can make sure they (and you) are having a blast.
LeWand is an investment at £129.99. But my god, what an investment it is. If you’re unsure about parting with that much cash, then the £54 LoveHoney wand is a perfectly good substitute.
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I’ve never been a huge fan of bullet vibrators — and honestly, I’ve overlooked them. But, I’m not above saying I’m wrong. Especially when it comes to three bullets in particular. The So Divine Amour Lipstick Vibrator (£30), Love Not War’s Maya (£89.99) and Hot Octopuss Digit (£59.95).
Maya’s weight made it a really lovely toy to hold, and the cold metal was a pleasure to warm up against — if you like that kind of thing. Plus, it’s made from sustainable materials, which makes this a truly guilt-free wank. Whereas the Digit made it easy to use my whole hand and the toy thanks to its accessible design. But, what came up trumps for me was the Amour.
Top tip: Pair the bullet vibe with a glass toy from LoveHoney’s range for a perfect temperature play-cum-vibey duo.
Rabbits and Dual Vibrators-cum-clit-suckers
Nothing could prepare me for Je Joue’s Hera Flex (£109). Now, I love a rabbit toy, but I’ve never used one quite like this. The soft silicone is pliable, which means you can get the toy to fit you, rather than trying to fit it. It was so easy to slip into a hazy, glowy vibe, emerging pink-cheeked and gasping. To be quite honest, it’s the best rabbit I’ve ever used.
However, coming in a close second was So Divine’s Black Magic Vibrator for one reason. Its shape is fuller. To me, this felt like a much more natural design, and the handle is easy to hold, too. It also comes in at a fraction of the cost at just £65.
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My least favourite, which I was surprised by, was the Lelo Enigma. No doubt, for the right kind of anatomy — this would be a body-bending toy. But I found it an awkward fit and it cost a whopping £189.
If I was to pick one out of the lot?
OK, so I couldn’t. But, here’s my top four.
LeWand, Hera and Sona 2 Travel and Amour. If you’re looking for guaranteed pleasure, these should be added straight to basket.
As for whether they’re worth the cash. Yes, and no.
The thing is, pleasure to me should be accessible. And, while all of these toys were deliciously indulgent, made from the smoothest of body-safe silicones; are waterproof and are rechargeable, there are plenty of cheaper toys on the market that will get you to where you want to get to. Plus, there’s no shame in rubbing up against a couch arm, using your hands or a shower head.
So, if you’re building your toy box, trying sex toys for the first time or unsure of what you like, my advice would be to start with something affordable. Explore different sensations and tap into what makes solo sex feel so good before making a hefty investment. Then, when you’re feeling a little bit more confident in what you know you enjoy, treat yourself to something off this list. You won’t regret it.
For the wanking pros amongst us, a little bit of luxury never hurt anyone and there’s something to be said for a toy that not only performs well but looks gorgeous. We eat with our eyes, after all.
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Whatever you decide to use in the bedroom, engaging with your sexual wellness and connecting with your pleasure can only be a good thing. Luxury sex toy, or no.
Storm Ciarán has swept across northwestern Europe today, causing travel disruption and leaving millions without power.
It has triggered a record low for sea pressure levels around England and Wales, and a red weather warning for the Channel Islands.
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The BBC has also reported windows being blown in by the storm and said a roof had been ripped off a house on Jersey.
School closures have already been announced on the island as winds have reached 104mph. Forty people have been evacuated from their homes due to damage.
Outside of the UK, 1.2 million households have been left without power in France and a red weather warning is in place in Spain.
Ciarán comes two weeks after Storm Babet, which came in from the Atlantic and was accompanied with heavy rain and winds. It caused intense flooding in Northern Ireland and the UK.
While there are fears this new storm could last for three days, Meteo France weather service has just downgraded its alerts for strong winds in Mache, Finistere and Cotes d’Armor from red to orange.
Dutch Airline KLM also cancelled flights going to and from Amsterdam. International trains from Amsterdam to Paris were also halted.
The Met Office noted that the storm came off the back of “what was provisionally the joint-sixth wettest October on record for the UK”.
The weather experts noted there’s evidence to suggest the intensity and frequency of windstorms in British winter could be increasing due to climate change – although the data is inconsistent.
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It added: “Storm Ciarán is a fairly normal Autumn storm for the UK, and due to the natural year-to-year variability in strong winds and windstorm numbers, significant trends have not been detected in observations over the recent climate.”
Royal National Lifeboat Institution’s (RNLI) water safety manager Ross Macleod warned: “This rough weather could make visiting our coasts around southern England and Wales treacherous and bring very dangerous sea conditions.”
Here’s a look at some of the most jaw-dropping clips circulating on social media capturing the storm:
The sad news of Matthew Perry’s death has sent a shockwave around the world. The actor, who fought addiction his entire life, made it his life’s work to help others struggling with substance abuse.
Perry was predominantly known for his role as Chandler Bing in the hit sit-com series Friends, a role that saw him nominated for countless awards and winner of the Golden Derby Award for Drama Guest Actor in 2012, the Huading Award for Best Global Actor in a Television Series in 2013, the TV Guide Award’s Editor’s Choice in 2000.
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However, his activism and determination to bring a deeper, more nuanced understanding of what addiction is, how it impacts people and why it affects some people more than others is his lasting legacy.
Talking with The New York Times in 2022, Perry discussed his addiction in detail, which began at just 14 years old with Budweiser and Andrès Baby Duck wine. Later, this addiction grew to include vodka, Vicodin, Xanax and OxyContin (to name a few):
“I would fake back injuries. I would fake migraine headaches. I had eight doctors going at the same time,” Perry told The New York Times.
“I would wake up and have to get 55 Vicodin that day, and figure out how to do it. When you’re a drug addict, it’s all math. I go to this place, and I need to take three. And then I go to this place, and I’m going to take five because I’m going to be there longer. It’s exhausting but you have to do it or you get very, very sick. I wasn’t doing it to feel high or to feel good. I certainly wasn’t a partyer; I just wanted to sit on my couch, take five Vicodin and watch a movie. That was heaven for me. It no longer is.”
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In several interviews following the release of his memoir, Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing,Perry approximated that he had spent around $9 million trying to get and stay clean. He attended six thousand AA meetings, 30 years of therapy, 15 years at rehab clinics, and an estimated 65 detoxes throughout his life. His determination and empathy for those suffering from addiction led him to speak out against addiction misinformation and disinformation.
On an episode of BBC News Night in December 2013, Perry called out journalist Peter Hitchins who was in opposition to the use of drug courts, known as substance misuse courts in the UK, a public health-focused approach to drug addiction-related crimes. Drug courts allow judges to send offenders to rehabilitation for treatment before sentencing and are said to help prevent future offending.
When asked by presenter Jeremy Paxman: “How do you know that these people wouldn’t have quit their drug habit anyway?” Perry was compassionate in his explanation of how the process can “interrupt” the downward spiral that leads to further criminal convictions, “rather than throwing people away”.
When Hitchins said referring to addiction as a disease was “fantasy” and a “choice”, Perry dismissed the disinformation by explaining the classification of addiction as a disease of the brain and an allergy of the body, adding: “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” and suggested Hitchins read the research and evidence available.
But his compassion and empathy for the struggle of addicts didn’t just stop with correcting myths and misinformation. Over the years, Perry sponsored other addicts in their recovery and advocated for their rights.
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CBS Photo Archive via Getty Images
Matthew Perry and the cast of Friends join James Corden for a Friends Reunion Special during The Late Late Show with James Corden.
Last year, speaking about himself, Perry said “The best thing about me, bar none, is that if somebody comes up to me and says: ‘I can’t stop drinking, can you help me?’ I can say yes and follow up and do it. That’s the best thing.
He wanted people to understand the fight people with addiction face, saying:“Your disease is outside doing one-armed push-ups just waiting for you, waiting to get you alone, because alone, you lose to the disease.”
Perry chose to be outspoken about institutions like Alcohol Anonymous, explaining; “It suggests that there’s a stigma and that we have to hide. This is not a popular opinion, by the way.”
He often put his money where his mouth was. One such example was Perry turning his $10 million Malibu mansion into a sober living facility called Perry’s House in 2012. The following year, his project received an award from the White House.
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His memoir opens with the sobering line, “Hi my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name, my friends call me Maddie and I should be dead.”
Throughout the book, Perry details extremely frightening dances with death and addiction. Living through many near-death experiences, from an exploding colon to pancreatitis in his 30s, it wasn’t until he was faced with the possible future of living with a permanent colostomy bag that made him examined his addiction differently.
“My mind is trying to kill me and I know it,” he wrote.
Perry wanted people to understand that addiction wasn’t as simplistic as wanting to use drugs and alcohol. He wanted people to see the bigger picture when it came to addiction and for them to be receptive to suffering people’s openness.
In an interview with Diane Sawyer in 2022 for ABC News, he said, “Secrets kill you. Secrets kill people like me.
He knew that people couldn’t overcome addiction alone, and so, using his stratospheric fame from Friends he chose to speak out on what substance abuse looks like, how it tears people apart and the deep shame and stigma surrounding addiction.
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Perry’s death is a saddening blow. His parting gift to us, aside from his comedic genius and acting prowess, is his vulnerable and honest account of a life lived with addiction.
Perry has shown the world over that it’s OK to fall down, so long as you get back up — and keep on getting back up. And that to do so, you mustn’t do it alone.
If you’ve ever been on a work video call (and after COVID, it’s safe to say lots of us have), then you’ll probably know the particular stressors the medium can bring.
There’s the person who’s accidentally muted themselves. There are the patchy internet connections. There’s the awkward, crossed-mic silences when the person leading the call asks a group questions (martyrs, IMO).
And now, a paper published in Imaging Neuroscience has found that video calling people affects more than just social cues; it suggests that the contact method can have a pretty noticeable effect on how our brains process the interaction.
“Separable Processes for Live ‘In-Person’ and Live ‘Zoom-like” Faces’,” a study led by Yale professor Joy Hirsch, found that “the social systems of the human brain are more active during real live in-person encounters than on Zoom.“
People who we see on video calls “do not have the same ‘privileged access’ to social neural circuitry in the brain that is typical of the real thing,” Hirsch said.
The researchers used brain imaging tools to look at the neural activity of pairs speaking via video call and those speaking in person.
The scientists observed high levels of neural activity during face-to-face interactions, along with long gaze times, increased pupil diameters, and what appeared to be enhanced face-processing abilities.
Those who were looking at an image on a screen had a “suppressed” social response compared to those who were talking face-to-face, the paper revealed.
“Overall, the dynamic and natural social interactions that occur spontaneously during in-person interactions appear to be less apparent or absent during Zoom encounters,” said Professor Hirsch. “This is a really robust effect.”
The Yale study highlighted the unique impact face-to-face interactions can have on our brains.
“Online representations of, faces, at least with current technology, do not have the same ‘privileged access’ to social neural circuitry in the brain that is typical of the real thing,” said Professor Hirsch.
So, if you’ve ever felt like a video meeting was genuinely mind-numbing, you might be onto something…
Love it or hate it, Halloween has a long rich history – and has been a significant celebration in our culture for more than a thousands years.
While its religious connotations have now faded, and the event is associated with dressing up, pumpkins, and everything eerie, the occasion is still full of references to its pagan roots.
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Here’s why we celebrate October 31, and why some curious traditions (bobbing for apples, anyone?) have stood the test of time.
What does paganism have to do with Halloween?
A lot, really. The whole event comes from the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, a religious, pagan celebration which was meant to mark the official end of summer and welcome the harvest.
But, for the pagans in the Celtic regions of Ireland, the UK and northern France, who lived around 2,000 years ago, lighting bonfires and wearing costumes to ward off ghosts was the best way to ring in the special occasion.
And because the dark, cold winter, is often linked to death, they believed the line between the world of the living and the dead blurred around this time – so the ghosts of the dead could return to the living world.
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These spirits not only caused mischief and damaged crops, but they made it “easier for the Druids or Celtic priests to make predictions about the future”, according to History.com.
Pagans would burn crops and animals as sacrifices to their gods, and would wear costumes usually made out of animal heads and skins, to tell each other’s fortunes.
History.com said it was their way of ringing in the new year.
And, just to quell any misconceptions, it’s not the same as Mexico’s well-known Day of the Dead celebration, which is about the afterlife and the continuation of life – not about death and ghosts, like Halloween.
As Britannica explains: “Although often linked to Halloween, the Day of the Dead is a time when death is celebrated, not feared.”
Hyoung Chang via Getty Images
The sixth annual Broadway Halloween Parade
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How did Samhain become Halloween?
The Pagan event evolved over time as Celtic culture faded.
After the Roman invasion in 43 AD, two other festivals were incorporated into Samhain.
History.com claims one was called Feralia, a day in late October when Romans honoured the passing of the dead, and the second was a day when Romans, honoured the goddess of fruit and trees, Pomona.
But it really started to change when, according to the US government’s Library of Congress, Pope Gregory III decided to make November 1 the time to honour both known and unknown saints who have attained heaven, in the eighth century.
History.com claimed: “It’s widely believed today that the church was attempting to replace the Celtic festival of the dead with a related, church-sanctioned holiday.”
The online encyclopedia, Britannica, explained that All Saints Day – also called All Hallows’ Day – then started to weave in some of the Samhain traditions from the day before.
That meant Samhain started to be called All Hallows’ Eve, which is how we now know it as Halloween.
And once the occasion moved to the US and trick or treat became increasingly common at the start of the 20th Century, History.com claims parents were “encouraged by newspapers and community leaders to take anything ‘frightening or grotesque’ out of the celebrations”.
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That’s probably how the event ended up losing its superstitious and religious overtones.
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Trick or treat
Why do we carve pumpkins?
This tradition actually comes from Ireland, where turnips were used instead of pumpkins.
According to the Library of Congress, the myth comes down to a man called Stingy Jack who supposedly fought with the devil, was rejected by Heaven and refused to go to Hell – so he ended up wandering the world as a ghost.
All he had was just a gift from the devil, a burning lump of coal with a turnip as a source of light – and that’s why we call carved pumpkins called Jack o’Lanterns.
Over time, it became associated with a means to banish evil spirits.
Why do we talk about ghosts so often around Halloween?
Ghosts are often associated with this time of year, because the pagans believed spirits walked the Earth during the festival – a belief reinforced by Christian missionaries who introduced All Souls’ Day.
That’s why we wear scary costumes to repel the spirits.
What about bats?
As bonfires were said to light the way for souls looking into the afterlife – and keep away the evil spirits – the light would attract insects, and therefore draw in bats, which is how spotting bats became part of the festival.
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Where did trick or treat come from?
There are several different theories floating around.
One potential explanation is that Celtic people would leave food to appear the spirits travelling the Earth at night – and then people started to try and get in on the trend themselves.
Another suggests people may have been collecting food and money from local homes in return for prayers for the dead on All Souls Day, and it then evolved into trick or treat.
The US Library of Congress said it may have come from the German-American Christmas tradition of “belsnickeling” where children call on their neighbours to see if they can guess who they are. They were rewarded with food or other treats if no one could identify them.
Britannica also pointed out that this custom became popular in the early 20th century as Irish and Scottish communities revived the Old World tradition of “guising”. Someone would dress up, tell a joke, or perform, in exchange for fruit or a treat.
Why do we go bobbing for apples?
It was allegedly a courting ritual that was part of a Roman festival honouring Pomona, who was the goddess of agriculture and abundance.
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Essentially, those who played would predict their future relationships based on their performance in the game.
