When you think about social anxiety, you might imagine common symptoms like sweating, avoiding group conversations, and trembling.
But a 2025 paper called another lesser known sign of social anxiety – dubbed alexinomia – “important” and “overlooked”.
Alexinomia, which seems to have been coined in 2023 in a Frontiers study, may also be linked to autism and mental health conditions, though it is not an illness or diagnosis in and of itself. Research from 2024 suggests it may be more “widespread” than many of us realise.
Here, we spoke to BACP-certified therapists Kamalyn Kaur and Bhavna Raithatha about what the term means, who it might affect, and what to do if you think you have it.
What is alexinomia?
“Alexinomia is the fear of speaking someone’s name,” Raithatha told us.
Kaur described it as “when someone experiences extreme discomfort, difficulty, or even anxiety when using a person’s name in conversation, even when they know the person’s name and the person really well”.
An example, Kaur added, might be that someone is able to ask their friend Hannah, “Can you please pass me the salt?”, but would find it harder to say “Hannah, can you please pass me the salt?”.
“Using the person’s name can trigger feelings of vulnerability, self-consciousness, or emotional exposure,” Kaur added.
Mentioning someone’s name directly might feel too intimate or embarrassing: “Often the difficulty is less about the name itself and more about what the name represents emotionally,” Kaur continued.
“For some people saying the name out loud feels like suddenly acknowledging closeness in a relationship e.g. ‘If I say your name, I’m stepping into closeness I don’t fully safe in yet’.”
She said that “avoidants or anxious-avoidants” may find that “saying someone’s name brings up a fear of dependency or attachment, so not using the person’s name becomes a subtle way of staying emotionally regulated and feeling in control”.
Who might get alexinomia?
According to Kaur, the condition may be more likely among people who experience:
- Social anxiety
- Shyness or self-consciousness
- Fear of being judged or noticed
- Insecure attachment patterns
- Difficulty with emotional intimacy or vulnerability
- A history of feeling emotionally unsafe or unstable in relationships.
Then, Raithatha continued, there’s culture to consider. “Historically and culturally, many people are raised to address others as uncle or auntie, Mrs or Mr so and so. To then be expected (as I was) to address people not only by their names, but elders by their first name was incredibly anxiety provoking. I still address people with their titles out of respect,” she told us.
Meanwhile, others may be worried about saying someone’s name wrong, could have come from a background which involved a lot of bullying, and/or have been silenced often as a child – all of which the therapist said may increase your odds of developing alexinomia.
What should I do if I have alexinomia?
“Like many anxiety related behaviours, avoidance tends to strengthen the fear so it’s best to gradually expose yourself to saying the name rather than avoid it altogether,” Kaur shared.
Some first steps may include saying the person’s name when you are alone, using it in text messages before actually saying it, practising short greetings (e.g., ‘Hi Hannah’, ‘Nice to see you, Hannah,’” and gradually using people’s names in real conversations.
Small, repeated challenges can help over time, she advised.
Additionally, Alexinomia appears closely linked to social anxiety, so experts suggest working on this could also help with the former.
“Approaches such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), nervous system regulation, somatic approaches, and self-compassion practices can help,” said Kaur.
The therapist also thinks becoming self-aware of, and staying present during, the discomfort can help. Ask yourself questions like:
- What do I worry will happen if I say their name?
- Does it feel too intimate?
- Am I worried about sounding awkward?
- Do I worry about drawing attention to myself?
Raithatha ended that, ultimately, the important thing is to have tried: “You should be proud for trying, the more you do it, the easier it will feel.”
