Category Archives: Life

‘I Haven’t Had Sex With My Girlfriend Of 5 Years. Are My Instincts Off?’

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There’s no set figure for how little sex is too little.

Indeed, some researchers found that only 26% of couples hit the once-weekly mark – speaking to The New York Times, multiple married pairs reported happy, sex-free marriages.

Couples counsellor and author of The Couples Communication Handbook, Raffi Bilek, previously told HuffPost UK the tipping point is usually “whatever amount is causing arguments”.

Writing to Reddit’s r/AITAH (Am I The Asshole Here) forum recently, site user renelemely suggested he was approaching that point of “resentment” with his partner.

“My girlfriend and I have never [had] sex, and it’s been almost five years. Am I the asshole?,” he asked.

We spoke to psychologist Veronica West, founder and lead Content Creator of My Thriving Mind, about when sexual incompatibility is a dealbreaker – and when it can be overcome.

The pair have never had sex

The poster shared that he’s never slept with his girlfriend in their five-year relationship.

At first, he said, he thought she was a little shy and wanted to go slow. “I was just excited for the time to come… and it still hasn’t come,” OP (the original poster) wrote.

When he tries to bring it up, she gets very upset and says the topic makes her feel extremely guilty. She has recently shared that the main reason behind the mismatch is her lack of sex drive.

“She is beautiful and smart, and she has a good job,” OP added. “We live together and her family love me. We do everything together, and I miss her when she’s not around.”

Still, he wonders if he “can live like this”, and feels increasing “resentment” towards his partner and is hoping she can change.

Sexual incompatibility doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker

West shared that even though a lot of couples struggle to address sexual incompatibility, it isn’t a “death sentence” for the relationship.

“What really counts is what both parties feel about it,” she added. “If both parties are willing to get curious and find options, there is room to build something positive.”

When asked whether most relationships can survive a complete sexual mismatch, she responded: “Sometimes, sometimes not.”

Compromise, she said, is not always a “meet in the middle” scenario when it comes to sex. “You can’t really compromise to have sex one and a half times per week and feel like you’ve won,” she advised.

“It’s about emotional and physical needs being met in a way that feels respectful and genuine.”

That can take the form of physical contact with no sexual expectation, experimenting with open relationships, seeing a therapist, and communicating your needs often.

“But no matter the route, the two of them have to actually agree, not begrudgingly go along and hope the other [one] of them will change their mind next month,” West continued.

“It becomes a dealbreaker when the mismatch turns into a chronic emotional ache.”

Refusal to discuss the topic is one red flag.

And, she ended: “If one partner starts to feel invisible or chronically rejected, or the other feels guilt every time the topic comes up, the tension is no longer just about sex – it is about identity, resentment, and unmet needs.”

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Suddenly Have More Responsibility At Work? It Might Be A Career Red Flag

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Most of us associate being given more power (and, therefore, responsibility) at work with a higher chance of promotion and even potentially better pay.

But speaking to HuffPost UK, Adrien Kallel, a recruitment specialist at international hiring agency RemotePeople, said that sometimes, it can be a warning sign.

“Sometimes, people assume the worst only after it’s already happened,” the expert said.

“But by recognising the patterns early on, you can prepare and protect yourself. Keep your CV current, stay in touch with your wider network, and build good relationships with recruiters, that way you’re ready to move if needed.”

Why would being given more responsibility hurt my career?

Though more trust and a broader job scope can seem like a welcome and promising change (and often is), Kallel cautions that if it comes out of nowhere and is overwhelming, it can be a “trap.”

“This tactic can be subtle,” the recruiter said. “A manager might present it as a development opportunity. You’re told it’s your time to shine, maybe even hinted that a promotion is around the corner.

“But if the expectations suddenly become unrealistic and you’re set up to miss targets, it could be part of a plan to phase you out.”

Putting an overwhelming amount of work on an employee may be a sneaky way to label them as “underperforming,” he advised. That way, a manager can point to their inability to meet impossible goals when phasing a worker out.

What should I do if I notice this happening?

“If your objectives are being dramatically adjusted, or the workload triples with no clear timeline or support, it’s essential to protect yourself,” Kallel stated.

“Start by calmly raising your concerns in writing, not just verbally.”

You should be as specific as you can in your wording. Ask, What are the new expectations? What support will be provided? What does success look like under these new terms?

“Getting this in writing shows you’re willing, but also creates a record if the situation worsens,” Kallel says.

Even though it’s not a great feeling, the expert says workers should trust our guts.

“If something feels off, it probably is,” he admitted.

“These are conversations worth having early, not when HR is already involved.”

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Let’s Settle This: Is Psyllium Husk Really ‘Nature’s Ozempic’?

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GI surgeon Dr Karan Rajan seems pretty fond of psyllium husk.

In a video posted last year, he extolled the virtues of the cheap, soluble fibre-rich supplement, explaining it can help to cure both constipation and diarrhoea.

It is also, he added, pointing to this 2021 review of studies, “useful in some types of IBS.”

But the surgeon never claimed, as others have, that the beneficial addition is “nature’s Ozempic.”

On social media, doctors like Dr Enaka Yembe claim that psyllium husk is a “poor man’s” alternative to GLP-1RI injections, or weight loss jabs like Ozempic or Mounjaro.

But Dr Duane Mellor, spokesperson for the British Dietetic Association, said: “There’s no magic secret to the effects of psyllium husk – and most high fibre foods, like pulses and oats, will have a similar appetite curbing impact.”

So, we asked doctors what’s really going on.

There is some merit to the argument, but doctors don’t think it stacks up

Dr Brynna Connor, a family doctor and healthcare ambassador at North West Pharmacy, said that psyllium husk really can support weight loss.

“Psyllium husk is a soluble fibre that absorbs water after consumption, which turns it into a gel-like substance that expands in the stomach,” she told HuffPost UK.

“This gel takes more time for your body to break down, which prolongs the feeling of fullness,” – which is the effect that weight loss injections aim to achieve, but through mimicking the GLP-1 hormone, instead.

Registered dietitian Avery Zenker added that, “Eating fibre can support the body’s own GLP-1 response,” though she adds, “it’s important to understand that this effect is much more modest and variable than what’s seen with GLP-1 medications like Ozempic.”

So, Dr Connor pointed out, “calling it ‘nature’s Ozempic’ is misleading, as psyllium husk and Ozempic are two very different substances that function differently in the body.”

Additionally, she shared, “There haven’t been any head-to-head studies comparing the effects of psyllium husk and Ozempic on weight loss (however, the individual studies of psyllium husk and Ozempic show that Ozempic leads to greater weight loss).”

Does this mean psyllium husk isn’t helpful?

Not at all. Zenker says that, “Psyllium husk and oats are great sources of soluble fibre, which slows digestion, helps stabilise blood sugar, and can support a feeling of fullness.”

It can also boost your microbiome, she stated.

Fibre is key to good heart, brain, and gut health, and even a reduced risk of bowel cancer. 90% of us do not eat the NHS-recommended 30g of fibre daily; the supplement may help you reach that goal.

Still, while psyllium husk is a welcome addition to many peoples’ diets (though you should consult your GP if you have a history of Crohn’s or intestinal blockages), no, it is not “nature’s Ozempic.”

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‘I Love Normal Cheaters Now’ – Professors Share How AI Is Changing Student Assessment

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A couple of months ago, Dr Jonathan Fine – a lecturer in German Studies – shared an X post that made me laugh, then wince.

“I love normal cheaters now,” the academic wrote. “A student admitted to getting help from a person on an assignment, and I didn’t even penalise him because I was just so happy it wasn’t AI.”

It’s a sentiment I’ve seen echoed by other professors since.

And in a recent TikTok, Dr Steven Buckley, a lecturer in Media Digital Sociology who also helps his university to assess cases of academic misconduct, shared that he’d seen a dissertation with what appeared to be “hallucinated” references.

We spoke to Dr Fine and Dr Buckley about their experiences.

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— Jonathan Fine (@jonathanbfine) April 25, 2025

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I love normal cheaters now. A student admitted to getting help from a person on an assignment, and I didn’t even penalize him because I was just so happy it wasn’t AI.

— Jonathan Fine (@jonathanbfine) April 25, 2025

Dr Fine says he’s been “paranoid” about machine learning for a long time

Dr Fine, who teaches in a language not native to most of his students, says he doesn’t think his experiences are typical of those teaching the humanities.

“I teach German, so I’ve been paranoid about machine translation ever since I started teaching,” he said.

“That’s always been my default attitude when reading student writing, so AI hasn’t been a major change for me or a big loss of trust in the students.”

Still, he says, “I don’t allow students to use AI, and I tell them at the beginning of class how awkward the conversation is when they’re caught, but they use it anyway.”

He assigns a lot of in-class writing, which means it’s clear when AI has been used by a student. The lecturer says it reads very differently from their usual work.

“When I catch a student using AI, I try to use it as a teaching moment,” he told HuffPost UK.

“I talk to the students about how my job is to help them improve, but I really can’t help a computer. If students were to reoffend, then I’d have to escalate the situation as a violation of academic policies.”

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Every justification I come across for the widespread academic use of artificial intelligence presupposes an ideal student user that does not exist. https://t.co/5TF4YNaYpe

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Every justification I come across for the widespread academic use of artificial intelligence presupposes an ideal student user that does not exist. https://t.co/5TF4YNaYpe

— Jonathan Fine (@jonathanbfine) June 19, 2025