Category Archives: Wellness Live

When I Was 7, I Stopped Feeling Any Kind Of Pain – Now I Know Why

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I got my wisdom teeth pulled without anesthesia or laughing gas.

When the dental surgeon sent me home with a packet of prescription-strength Advil, I didn’t take it. Instead, I drove to the community centre and taught my weekly guitar class, my cheeks swelling into grapefruits as my students practiced their D-G-A chord progressions.

Ego-wise, calling out wasn’t an option (I was only loveable because I was reliable, I told myself) and this didn’t warrant a sick day, anyway. I barely felt a thing.

I also don’t remember feeling discomfort when my knee popped out in gym class, or when I fainted during a sweltering marching band parade, or when my appendix almost exploded.

My high pain tolerance didn’t just apply to physical wounds, either; it also dulled the emotional ones. Fear, guilt, awkwardness, jealousy, grief, heartache – I could numb it all.

I learned this skill when I was 7 years old.

My older brother had undiagnosed bipolar disorder. Emotions swelled inside of him, too big to contain, so he’d punch holes in the walls, or burst into our rooms at 3am, or threaten to end his life. Reactions only fuelled the fire – my mother’s anxiety and my father’s guilt like kindling below the log.

Coaxing my brother up from a low or down from a high required a calm, collected presence – someone who could stifle their reactions and use logic to mediate the situation. Someone whose own emotions didn’t get in the way. I was the ideal candidate.

By middle school, my parents had started relying on me to deescalate his episodes. When I succeeded, I was called all of the things I wanted to be: a good girl. The easy one. Such a blessing. Twice, the dispatchers on the other end of the 911 call complimented my maturity and bravery. So did the cops who took my brother to yet another inpatient facility.

Eventually, I wore my robotic mask into the world to see how other people responded. Teachers loved that I got straight As and never spoke out of turn. Friends stopped calling me bossy. Adults deemed me “one of the most well-mannered children they’d ever met”.

It seemed that everyone else liked me better when I had no needs of my own, so somewhere along the line, my emotional suppression went from a temporary tactic to a permanent state of being. By the time my best friend died by suicide when we were 19, I felt almost nothing.

The author and her best friend Will on a trip to Disney World in 2008, four years before his death.

Courtesy of Maria Cassano

The author and her best friend Will on a trip to Disney World in 2008, four years before his death.

This skill had its perks, but it also had its detriments: all logic and no emotion makes Maria an abysmal girlfriend. The only thing I could feel was the hit of dopamine that accompanied a new love interest, so I sabotaged relationship after relationship in pursuit of it.

Yes, I was incapable of feeling pain – but I was also incapable of empathy, vulnerability, and connection.

At 28, I ended a three-year relationship with a good guy so I could pursue an impulsive fling with a not-so-good one. Something had to give. I was tired of being a romantically inept robot. Desperate to figure out what was wrong with me, I booked an appointment with a psychologist who specialised in childhood trauma.

Right off the bat, she diagnosed me with a dissociative disorder.

If I were capable of feeling anything, I would’ve felt relief. My high pain tolerance suddenly made so much sense.

According to WebMD, “dissociation is a break in how your mind handles information,” and that includes sensory inputs from your body.

One study in The Journal of Pain found that those with PTSD-induced dissociation exhibited hyposensitivity to pain. Basically, the higher the dissociation, the higher the tolerance. An overload of trauma can cause the nervous system to shut down entirely.

In one of our intake sessions, I asked my therapist why I felt so addicted to my numbness. Her response was fascinating.

“Your body has its own pain-relief system, and it actually produces opioids,” she said. “When you’re dissociated, the endogenous opioid system is in overdrive. You’re pumping out endorphins all the time to protect yourself from emotional or physical pain. Like any drug, it’s addictive.”

In other words, I didn’t need anaesthesia because I was constantly making my own.

I wanted to be human again. I wanted to feel love, joy and gratitude – but, like a bottle of Vicodin, dissociation was my coping mechanism.

The author playing guitar in her bedroom at the height of her dissociative disorder.

Courtesy of Maria Cassano

The author playing guitar in her bedroom at the height of her dissociative disorder.

So much of my identity was tied up in my numbness. I believed I would no longer be fiercely reliable. I’d have to call out sick from work. I’d have to stop answering my phone at all hours of the night for the people who loved me because I lacked boundaries. I’d be susceptible to illness, anxiety, stress, and worst of all, heartbreak. I would no longer be the girl who could handle anything.

I didn’t know who I was without my dissociation, but I wanted to find out.

Four weeks after my diagnosis, I started Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR. It’s a psychotherapy technique that uses bilateral eye movements to stimulate memory processing, which helps the brain recover from trauma. Essentially, you focus on your worst memories and move your eyes back and forth.

My hopes were not particularly high. How could something as small as eye movements fix something as big as depersonalisation-derealisation disorder?

But EMDR worked, and it worked fast.

In my first EMDR session, my therapist told me to focus on my earliest negative memory while I watched a blue square bounce back and forth on my computer screen. I did it once: Nothing. Twice: Nada. Three times: Nope. And then the dam broke open. Sensations poured into my cells. I could feel everything, all at once.

One emotion loomed especially large, casting a shadow over the rest: I was terrified of being unlovable. That’s why I left everyone else before they could leave me — before they could sense the messiness underneath the cold, polished armour.

This odd therapy technique completely overrode my body’s hyperactive pain-relief system. Over the next 48 hours, I experienced all of the hurt, grief, abandonment and heartache I had blocked out for the past two decades. It was excruciating, and I wanted nothing more than to turn back into a robot.

The author and her boyfriend Seb picking apples on a gorgeous fall day.

Courtesy of Maria Cassano

The author and her boyfriend Seb picking apples on a gorgeous fall day.

But with the help of EMDR and this knowledgeable, compassionate therapist, I kept going. We spent the next four years sifting through these memories and emotions, finally processing them so I could let them go.

When pain arose, I felt it. I let the messiness settle in my body, making peace with its presence. Despite the raw discomfort of vulnerability, the hurt of rejection, the guilt of past mistakes, and the occasional panic attack, I resisted the foggy, familiar lure of numbness.

I’m still tempted by it – I’m sure all addicts are – but I’ve never gone back.

Now, I’m in a healthy relationship with a kind, supportive man. He slept over one night two years ago and never left, but I don’t feel the urge to jump ship. I no longer want to chase the dopamine hit of someone new. I want this man to know and accept every part of me, the way I’ve come to know and accept every part of myself.

While I’m not cured (healing is a nonlinear, never-ending road), I’ve learned that pain is a fundamental part of life. Without it, you’re not truly living. It’s the catalyst for transformation. It’s the compass that leads you toward growth. It’s the contrast that illuminates all the beautiful parts of being a fractured, feeling human being.

Maria Cassano is a writer and editor whose work has appeared in Bustle, CNN, Food & Wine, Allure, NBC, The Daily Beast, Elite Daily, and YourTango, among dozens of other publications. Represented by Emma Fulenwider at WordServe Literary, Maria’s memoir about healing from dissociation, “Numb, Party of One,” is currently out on submission to publishing houses. Learn more about it at mariacassano.com/numb.

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My Son And I Were Turned Away From Ikea’s Play Area For 1 Disturbing Reason. Here’s What They Don’t Understand.

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In late June, a few days before Disability Pride Month began, I took my 7-year-old child on an outing to an Ikea store.

As I filled out a waiver so he could enter the store’s small play area, I noticed I was the only parent present.

It turned out that parents typically drop off their children while they shop, but that wasn’t an option for me.

My son has a rare, severe form of epilepsy called Dravet syndrome, among other medical conditions, and he can’t be without a grown-up carrying his seizure rescue medication, as I was.

The scary reality is that around one in five children with Dravet syndrome die in childhood because the seizures can be so severe. There is currently no cure.

I explained this to a staff member and told her that I’d need to be in the room with my child. She informed me that no parents were allowed into the play area.

“But isn’t there a policy for kids with disabilities?” I asked.

She told me a service dog could accompany a child, but a parent could not.

I stopped signing the form. I said to the staff member, “That’s discrimination against kids with disabilities.” She didn’t respond.

I hadn’t known about the store’s play area before this visit, and I had been happy to see that it wasn’t a playground – just a space with toys like a train set and dart board. Since my son had a seizure at an indoor playground a year ago, I’d stopped taking him to them. But now, even this play space was not an option for him.

My child and I were both upset. He loves going to Ikea to walk through the showroom and eat in the cafeteria – a place open enough that it was the only indoor restaurant he ate in during our four years of masking during the Covid-19 pandemic. We have several Ikea furniture items, including bunk beds, a coat/shoe cubby and a toy chest. He helped us build them all.

Since his severe seizures began about two years ago, he’s had to change his life in significant ways. Heat, sports, just running around to play, illness and excitement have all become triggers for him. Summer is especially hard – on hot days, he can’t be outside. In fact, we had driven the hour to Ikea in traffic just so he could walk and have a change of scenery in a large, air-conditioned space because the temperature outside was dangerous for him.

I told him, “This isn’t OK.”

He said, “We should talk to someone.”

I was proud of him.

After talking to a few staff members, we spoke with a manager, who said he wasn’t familiar with the policy, and he’d get back to me the next day. He didn’t.

Later, I looked online, and there was a section on the Ikea website directing caretakers of children with disabilities to start a conversation with the Ikea store manager about how the child can best have their needs accommodated in the play area. I was hopeful that when we went in the future, we could show the policy to the staff.

However, that doesn’t undo the pain my child felt after hearing that he wasn’t welcome in that play space because of his disabilities. During the hour-long car ride home afterward, we talked a lot about discrimination. I reinforced that what happened wasn’t OK, and that the more than 3 million kids with disabilities in our country deserve to be included.

I told him about my older sister, his late aunt, who had microcephaly and faced various barriers to equal access too, like having to sit on the sidelines of playgrounds in her wheelchair. It upset me.

When I was 10, in 1993, I read about new accessible playgrounds in an issue of Scholastic News, and I hoped we could build one for her. Sadly, she died a few weeks later, but in her memory, my family and I worked with the Cincinnati Parks Department to build an accessible playground. My son thought that was cool.

I also explained that many groups of people face discrimination for reasons such as gender, race, sexual orientation, immigration status and more, and we need to be allies and stand up against all forms of discrimination.

I also told him that one way to help is to make disabilities more visible and raise awareness, as we have done in his school class for the past three years.

This June, for Dravet Syndrome Awareness Month, he and I held a neighbourhood lemonade and cupcake fundraiser and donated money to the Dravet Syndrome Foundation, which helps fund the kind of critical epilepsy research that the Trump administration has recently cut.

After our experience at Ikea, as one of his bedtime books, we re-read the picture book All the Way to the Top, about a child who protested and helped advocate for the Americans with Disabilities Act, which passed 35 years ago.

Afterward, I told him about children with disabilities who went to Congress this summer, asking their leaders not to make it harder for them to go to the doctor and get the medicine and treatment they need.

Unfortunately, President Donald Trump’s domestic policy billhas since passed, and many people, including children with disabilities, will be harmed as a result.

Two days after the bill passed, my child woke up and said, “I want to make a sign about disabilities.”

He asked for my help with spelling before writing the words, “People with disabilities are important” in pencil and then tracing over them with marker. He stood by our Disability Pride yard sign, and then, since the temperature was cooler out, he walked down our street and held it up for cars passing by.

He said that when he grows up, he wants to be an “activist” and “protester.”

I told him that he already is.

[Editor’s Note: HuffPost reached out for a response, and Ikea US issued the following statement: “At IKEA, we strive to offer a safe and inclusive environment for children to play while in our stores. Our Småland policies are in place to keep children safe when they are in our space. Regarding this family’s recent experience in our College Park, MD store, we are incredibly sensitive to feelings of exclusion, and so we have shared information with the family about our accommodations process, so that they may have a more positive experience at IKEA. We are constantly working to improve how we create an inclusive space while maintaining policies that keep all children safe.”]

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A New Study Challenges The ‘Ideal’ Daily Step Count. And It’s Lower Than You Think.

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Walking 10,000 steps per day has become a popular goal in the modern age, but it turns out this benchmark might not be the fitness gold standard after all.

According to a study published in The Lancet last week, getting 7,000 daily steps is enough to see meaningful health benefits. Researchers conducted a meta-analysis and systemic review of data from previous studies and found diminishing returns above that number.

Compared to walking 2,000 steps per day, reaching 7,000 steps was associated with a 47% lower risk of death, 25% lower risk of cardiovascular disease, 38% lower risk of dementia, 28% lower risk of falls, 22% lower risk of depressive symptoms, 14% lower risk of type 2 diabetes and 6% lower risk of cancer. The improvements in health outcomes beyond 7,000 steps were more modest by comparison.

“The 10,000-step target, which originated in marketing campaigns, has often been seen as too high for many,” Dr. Asim Cheema, a specialist in internal medicine and cardiology at the telehealth platform Your Doctors Online, told HuffPost.

“Even a moderate amount of daily physical activity, such as walking 7,000 steps, can have significant health benefits,” he added. “This study indicates that a lower target can still yield substantial benefits for cardiovascular health, mental well-being and overall longevity. It suggests that you don’t need to aim for the highest threshold to make meaningful changes to your health.”

Indeed, many have traced the 10,000 steps a day rule back to a 1960s Japanese marketing campaign. This kind of research offers a helpful perspective shift away from the widespread cultural fixation on getting 10K steps every single day.

“These findings are refreshing, because they challenge the ‘all-or-nothing’ mindset that often surrounds fitness,” said Anjan Pathak, co-founder of wellness platform Vantage Fit. “For years, 10,000 steps per day was treated as a universal rule, even though its roots were more commercial than scientific. This study offers a more compassionate approach.”

The Real Takeaways For Step Counts

The conclusions of the study don’t necessarily mean you should treat 7,000 steps as some new gold standard, however. These findings don’t make 10,000 steps a bad goal, either.

“For those who already walk 4,000 steps, increasing to 5,000 or more will show benefit,” said Hannah Arem, scientific director of implementation science for the health care system MedStar Health. “For those who can, reaching this goal of 7,000 is likely to increase benefits. Beyond 7,000 steps, this study suggests that the health benefits for the outcomes examined are only incremental. That said, there may be health benefits other than those assessed in this study that come from increasing step counts.”

Dr. Matthew Badgett, an internal medicine physician at Cleveland Clinic, emphasised that it’s hardly news that there are diminishing returns above a certain amount of activity. And even if certain risk reductions start to plateau above 7,000 steps, you’re still experiencing benefits when you go beyond that number.

“The study still finds that 10,000 is better than 7,000 ― it’s just not as beneficial as going from 2,000 to 7,000 steps,” he said. “I think the real takeaway is that any amount of activity is going to be beneficial, and you continue to benefit from doing more on top of that, even if the added activity doesn’t lead to as much benefit. Whether your goal is to hit 7,000 or 10,000 doesn’t really matter, but I don’t want people to see this news and decide to cut their usual 10,000 to 7,000.”

Of course, there are extreme examples of individuals who do so much physical activity that it ultimately causes harm to their bodies. But that concern does not apply to the vast majority of people.

“If the average person can go from 2,000 to 7,000 steps per day, they will benefit. And if they can go from 7,000 to 10,000, they will also benefit,” Badgett added.

“I think the real takeaway is that any amount of activity is going to be beneficial, and you continue to benefit from doing more on top of that, even if the added activity doesn’t lead to as much benefit.”

– Dr. Matthew Badgett, internal medicine physician at Cleveland Clinic

Badgett also stressed that analysis of step counts doesn’t offer the full picture of health and fitness.

“Step counters aren’t measuring exercise per se,” he said. “What if you’re a cyclist or you swim a lot or lift weights? These are forms of exercise that [don’t] show up on a step counter, but they’re still hugely beneficial for health. Even running, which is better exercise than walking, gets you fewer steps per mile, because each step moves you further.”

Badgett pointed to two important aspects of fitness: regular exercise and just generally not being sedentary.

“I think 7,000 steps a day is generally a marker of non-sedentary nature,” he said. “Someone who’s getting 2,000 steps per day is probably sitting down at their desk to work from home in the morning, and then they barely leave the desk all day, other than to go one room over for the bathroom or kitchen. And then after work, they just sit and watch TV. Someone who gets closer to 7,000 steps probably does chores around the house, might do some yard work after work, or even drives to work, which brings, inevitably, a little bit of walking.”

Indeed, getting small bursts of steps throughout the day is much healthier than sitting the whole time. If you know you aren’t being so sedentary and are also getting regular exercise, you don’t need to fixate on exact step counts.

“I talk to my patients more about moving around throughout the day and also setting aside time to do a specific exercise, whether it’s weightlifting, running or swimming,” Badgett noted. “I might explore how many steps they’re getting as a baseline to establish a goal, but for someone who is older and has physical limitations, I prefer time goals ― like 20 minutes, rather than a specific number of miles or steps. It’s all really patient-dependent.”

How To Get Your Steps In

As the Lancet study shows, even small increases in your steps can bring substantial benefits, particularly in reducing the risk of mortality and a number of health conditions.

“Move more throughout the day,” Arem advised. “That doesn’t mean you have to go to the gym if that doesn’t fit in your lifestyle. Get off the bus or subway a stop earlier. Take the stairs instead of the elevator for a floor or two. Park farther away from the door in the parking lot.”

These little changes are attainable and thus a good way to kick off your fitness journey.

“Fitness in any form is a long game, and the first priority doesn’t have to be a step count ― it should be creating the habit,” said Dave Paul, host of the “Walking Is Fitness” podcast. “Start small and pick a time of day that you can do it consistently. I mean no more than five or ten minutes. You can always add more later, but if you try and do too much to start, it can feel overwhelming, which can lead to giving up.”

Personal context matters, so you have to determine what is right for you ― whether it’s short strolls or upping your walking game with rucking.

“Walk while taking calls, park a bit farther, or take short strolls during breaks. Health isn’t about chasing perfection. It’s about showing up for yourself every day, in small, meaningful ways.”

– Anjan Pathak, co-founder of wellness platform Vantage Fit

“Begin by setting a realistic goal that you can comfortably achieve and gradually increase your steps over time,” Cheema suggested. “For example, aim to walk 2,000 steps a day and increase by 500 steps each week. It can also be helpful to break up your walking into smaller sessions throughout the day, such as walking after meals. Consistency is key to building a sustainable habit.”

He also emphasised the importance of overall lifestyle factors like nutrition, sleep and stress management. And if you have physical limitations like joint problems, turn your walks into swims or stints on the elliptical.

“I also recommend the ‘Japanese walking’ method for patients who can tolerate more intensity in their walking routines, as this has shown health benefits with a lesser overall number of steps,” said family and emergency physician Dr. Ali Shehata.

During the hot summer months, you might also move your treks to an indoor venue like the mall or treadmill section at the gym ― or even invest in your own walking pad.

“Make movement part of your routine rather than an added burden,” Pathak advised. “Walk while taking calls, park a bit farther, or take short strolls during breaks. Health isn’t about chasing perfection. It’s about showing up for yourself every day, in small, meaningful ways. If 7,000 steps a day is what gets someone moving without fear or shame, then that’s a wonderful place to start.”

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What’s New On Netflix In August 2025? 12 New TV Shows And Films To Stream This Month

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If there’s one thing August is usually good for, it’s having plenty of downtime to get stuck into something new on Netflix.

As summer gets into full swing, there are plenty of new TV shows and original films arriving on the streamer this month to keep us all entertained.

Whether you’re looking for binge-worthy guilty pleasures, revealing new documentaries or a twisty crime thriller (or two!), there’s a raft of new releases coming this month that will be sure to tick all those boxes – plus the long-awaited return of one of the platform’s biggest hit shows.

Here are our 12 top picks to stream this August…

My Oxford Year (Streaming now)

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Tell me more: If you loved the transatlantic culture clash of Too Much starring Megan Stalter and Will Sharpe (or the love-it-or-hate-it success of Emily In Paris), My Oxford Year might just be one to add to your watchlist.

Descendants fave Sofia Carson and Queen Charlotte star Corey Mylchreest lead this new romance about an ambitious American woman who moves to the UK to attend the University Of Oxford to fulfil a childhood dream, before she naturally encounters a charming local.

It’s also directed by The Inbetweeners creator Iain Morris, so we’re a little intrigued to see how the romance comes to life in this one…

Netflix says: “An ambitious American fulfilling her dream of studying at Oxford falls for a charming Brit hiding a secret that may upend her perfectly planned life.”

Perfect Match (Streaming now)

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