15 Tweets Accurately Describing The Hellscape That Is Parenting On A Hangover

If you rang in the New Year last night and are nursing a sore head this morning, you’re probably contending with the fact you’ve now got a day (or two, if you’re really lucky) of looking after your kids while your brain tries to escape your skull.

Never fear though, you’re certainly not alone in your struggles. These tweets are proof that hangovers and being a parent certainly don’t, under any circumstances, mix. But we’ll do it all again next year anyway…

1. This video is *the* most accurate depiction of the struggle we’re all facing right now

2. Trampolining on a hangover is probably not advised

3. See also: potty training

4. Why do we do it to ourselves?

5. There is no respite for a hungover parent

6. Sometimes you have to do whatever works for you. And sometimes that means chips and guac for breakfast

7. Why would anyone ever knowingly drink alcohol knowing this awaits them the following day?

8. Behold: parenting with a hangover 2.0

9. PSA: don’t drink the night before any live action children’s show. It’s not worth it

10. Hideous is an understatement

11. Sometimes you’ve got to celebrate those small wins…

12. We repeat: greasy snacks are essential

13. If you’re not bribing your kids, you’re doing it wrong

14. When your hangover renders you into a horizontal, immovable state, you’re going to have to contend with being sat on

15. All in all, not an experience we want to repeat in a hurry

For those now wondering how on earth they can cope with today’s hangover, check out these tips from parents on how they’ve survived one with kids in tow (the racetrack idea is pretty genius) and if all else fails, take a leaf out of Jenny Hicken’s book…

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Help! My Toddler’s Taken A Serious Dislike To One Of Our Relatives

Having kids is all fun and games until your child decides they hate your relative – especially when you’re going to be spending Christmas with them.

One mum recently took to networking app Peanut to say her toddler had taken quite the dislike to her sister-in-law’s husband.

“She is a totally chill baby but when he comes over she will cry loads and cling to me,” she wrote. “I haven’t seen her like this with anyone else.”

What’s more, the mum said her sister-in-law’s husband is “the loveliest person”. What a pickle.

“I feel so bad that she doesn’t like him,” she wrote. “Any tips or advice? We’re having them over on Christmas Day and I’m worried. I also feel bad as she’s obsessed with my side of the family.”

There might be several reasons why little ones take a dislike to family members or friends, suggests Dr Kalanit Ben-Ari, a family therapist who founded the parenting platform Get The Village.

In some instances, a baby might sense a parent’s anxiety or stress around a particular person and react to it, she says. It might also be that once that person holds the baby, the child loses touch with the parents and becomes stressed, leading to fear of separation anxiety that is associated with that person.

“The problem is that when a parent anticipates the baby’s stressful reaction, the baby becomes more stressed, so it is a cycle or reaction that starts to be associated with that person,” says Dr Ben-Ari.

Everything a young child does – whether throwing themselves on the floor, or nuzzling their parents – is their way of demonstrating how they feel, because they often can’t verbalise it.

“In this instance, it sounds like the child is using lots of non-verbal messaging and non-verbal clues,” says Fiona Yassin, family psychotherapist and founder and clinical director of The Wave Clinic.

“Children often cry or cling to a parent in this way because they feel unsafe. It could be the person reminds them of someone else who looks quite scary,” she says.

The therapist offers the example that if the person has a beard, it could be that the child associates them with a bearded villain they’ve seen on TV and will remember the negative emotions they felt when they saw said villain – so “seeing this person may trigger a similar response”.

Sometimes children might have a sensory reaction to a family member that isn’t necessarily positive. They might take a dislike to a different voice, accent, smell or even appearance: for example, if they wear glasses or keep their shoes on in the house.

“Although these appear to be very small points, children look out for tiny differences, which is something we call the Little Professor,” says Yassin. “The Little Professor in the child has the job of trying to work out what’s going to happen next.”

What can parents do about it?

You’re probably dreading your child seeing the family member they’ve taken a dislike to, but you’re going to have to try really hard to think positively and anticipate a good connection. Otherwise your little one might pick up on your anxiety – fuelling the negative reaction further.

Ahead of seeing them, it might be helpful to create and share a positive persona of the person the child dislikes.

“If you have family photographs with the person in, show them to your child and talk about what that person does, who they are, who their family is and what activities they like to do,” says Yassin.

This helps the child to understand more about who they are and squash the idea of them as a villain-type character.

It can also be helpful to have your little one’s security blanket or toy on hand, suggests Dr Ben-Ari, to offer comfort and familiarity.

If the child’s reaction to the person is very strong, allow someone else to hold them while you greet and welcome the person, adds the therapist. “Seeing you at ease, relaxed and happy, interacting with that person will send the signal to the baby that it is safe.”

“Seeing you at ease, relaxed and happy, interacting with that person will send the signal to the baby that it is safe.”

– Dr Kalanit Ben-Ari

One thing you definitely shouldn’t do is force your child onto the person – whether that be letting them hug, kiss or hold them, which can ultimately just make things worse.

Instead, encourage the adult to give space to the baby to reach out to them, suggests Dr Ben-Ari. “The adult can start making fun noises, point to or hold a toy, offer the baby’s favourite toy, speak calmly to the baby, and once the baby shows signs of interest, they can slowly get closer.”

It’s also important not to leave your child alone with them – regardless of whether they’ve just arrived or have been there a while.

“When the person the child dislikes enters the room, it’s better they are not left on the floor or on their own,” says Yassin. “Hold the child or sit on the floor with them so you are physically at the same level.”

She continues: “Parents mustn’t force cuddles or plead the child to be nice to the person they have taken a dislike to. Railroading the situation and trying to force a relationship will create bigger barriers. Do not leave the child alone with the person for any length of time and be gentle with introductions.”

If the family – including the person the child dislikes – is coming for Christmas, keep things as normal as possible, says the therapist. And remember: it probably won’t last forever. “This type of situation tends to be a very big deal for a short period of time,” she adds, “but does blow over.”

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Sick Of The Sight Of 5am? All The Reasons Why Your Child Is Waking Up Too Early

If there’s one thing we know about tiny tots, it’s that they definitely don’t do lie-ins. Unfortunately some little ones can become pros at waking up before the sun has even risen – much to the horror of their zombified parents.

But what actually constitutes as “too early” when it comes to kids waking up? Dani McFadden, an infant sleep expert from The Daddy Sleep Consultant, says she’d define it as “anything less than 11 hours after going to sleep”.

“In our experience, babies can typically sleep 11-12 hours at night and so we always aim for 11 hours from waking time when working with clients,” she tells HuffPost UK.

On rare occasions, some toddlers can get away with sleeping only 10.5 hours at night and are still absolutely happy and content with that amount, she adds.

Lauren Peacock, a sleep consultant at Little Sleep Stars, defines early rising as a little one consistently being awake for the day before 6am.

Most kids are natural ‘larks’, she adds, meaning they typically wake up fairly early – between 6 and 7am is standard. “If it’s earlier than that, there are usually steps a family can take to push the wake-up time to at least 6am,” she says.

Reasons your child is waking up too early

Overtiredness

“In our experience, we usually see early wakings being driven by overtiredness, usually because of a lack of daytime sleep,” says Dani McFadden.

Lack of daytime sleep – or a wake window between the final nap and bedtime which is too long – will lead to a baby becoming overtired, she explains.

“This will usually increase the levels of cortisol in the baby and cortisol is what keeps us awake each day. Therefore, if there is an increased level of cortisol in the body (more than what would usually be produced) this can lead to a baby waking more frequently in the night or waking earlier in the morning.”

Not building up enough sleep pressure

To sleep soundly until 6am or later, a child needs to be going to bed with enough sleep pressure (aka the physical drive to sleep) to do that, says sleep consultant Lauren Peacock. But sometimes they don’t build up enough of this sleep pressure in the day.

Things that can leave a little one low on sleep pressure are:

  • too much daytime sleep
  • insufficient awake time before bedtime
  • a bedtime that is too early for them

Vera Livchak via Getty Images

Interestingly – and annoyingly for parents impacted – without enough sleep pressure, a child may actually still fall asleep well at bedtime, as all the behavioural cues suggest it’s time to sleep. But the problem often comes at the other end of the night, says the sleep expert, when staying asleep without any remaining sleep pressure becomes “fairly impossible”.

What makes life even trickier is if you then cut down the amount of daytime sleep your child has too much, or you keep them awake for stretches that are too long, or you send them to bed later in the hope they sleep later, this can also backfire and cause early-waking. It’s about getting a happy medium.

“This happens because when a child gets too tired, they release additional wakeful hormones which can interfere with the body clock and in turn make 5am feel like the right time to be starting the day,” explains Peacock.

“So even though a child might still have enough sleep pressure to carry on sleeping, their body clock insists that they should be starting the day.”

As a result, she says, it’s often the timing and/or duration of their nap and/or the time a child is going to bed that is driving the early start.

Environmental factors

What probably won’t be music to parents’ ears after reading all of the above is that there are also some environmental factors that can wreak havoc on young children’s awake times.

Is your child hungry? Do they need a nappy change? Is there light creeping into the room? An increase in noise levels? Or a drop in temperature? These can all signal to your child that it’s time to get up and start the day. Cue: them standing in their cot, eyes wide open, shrieking at you; and you looking at your alarm clock and groaning hard.

How to stop your child from waking up so early

If your child is waking up at the crack of dawn then there are (thankfully) lots of things you can do to try and address it.

The first thing you can do is check how much sleep your child is getting overall in a 24-hour period, compared to the evidence-based range.

The Sleep Foundation is a great resource for information around average sleep needs by age, says Peacock. If a little one is towards the bottom of the range, or below it, parents should try encouraging more daytime sleep (longer naps) and/or an earlier bedtime, she suggests.

And if this doesn’t work, then it’s a “good indicator” that overtiredness is the culprit, “in which case, continuing to top up a child’s sleep tank should eventually start to chip away at the early start.”

If an early-riser is getting quite a lot of sleep for their age, or if more daytime sleep worsens the early start, then Peacock recommends going the other way and gently cutting the daytime sleep a little shorter or trying a later bedtime.

Chanin Nont via Getty Images

“Whenever a child’s routine changes, parents need to be prepared to stick with the new timings for a week or so, before evaluating the impact, as it typically takes a good few days for a child’s body clock to begin responding,” she adds.

“It’s all about getting a child’s sleep pressure back into alignment with their body clock – not least because young children are driven much more by what time it feels like than what time it actually is. The trick is to stop 5am feeling like the right time to get up.”

In terms of making the environment more conducive to a longer sleep, McFadden says it’s “imperative” that the room remains blackout dark in the mornings as light can stimulate our little ones, just as their body is preparing for wake-up and sleep is naturally lighter.

“Also, it’s important for parents to be mindful of external noise starting at this time which can wake babies, for example: birds tweeting, traffic picking up on the roads and parents getting up for work,” she says. “This is where white noise, which plays all night, can be very helpful for blocking out that external noise.”

Sometimes parents do land themselves with a natural early bird and if that’s the case, and your kid is raring to go at 6am every day, then it’s often easier for parents to adapt their own routine rather than their child’s, says Peacock.

“If caregivers can edge the time they head to bed earlier by 15 minutes every three to five days, they can typically get to a place whereby starting the day a little earlier than they did pre-children feels a lot more humane.”

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My Children Are Autistic, Here’s How We Make Christmas Wonderfully Unique

The festive period can be overwhelming for lots of people, but for autistic children it can be a particularly fraught time of year.

The disruption to their routine, sensory overload, and overwhelming influx of new information can be stressful and sometimes even distressing, says Michelle Myers, who works for Great Minds Together, a charity supporting young people with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND).

Myers – who is an autistic woman and mum to autistic children – suggests all of this can add up to trigger episodes of increased levels of anxiety, fluctuation of needs and different behaviours as children process these changes.

“It can be a really difficult time,” she tells HuffPost UK, “but there are steps that parents can take to better support them and reduce the overall stress of the festive period.”

Here are her tips for navigating the festive period if your child is autistic or has additional needs.

Don’t be afraid to create new traditions

“Be unapologetically you and do what brings your family peace and joy this Christmas,” says Myers.

Whether it’s leaving presents unwrapped under the tree because your child has a sensory sensitivity to wrapping paper, or you let them eat their favourite pizza instead of Christmas dinner, her main piece of advice is to “do what works for you”.

“Create new traditions,” she suggests. “Neurodiverse families are wonderfully unique so it makes sense that our Christmas should be just as wonderfully unique as we are.”

Do plan ahead

Sticking to daily routines can be so important for autistic children (and adults!), so Myers advises keeping as many routines in place as possible over the festive period – and that includes Christmas Day.

“Some routines for autistic people are as essential to us as breathing,” she says, “so to have too many changes can really impact us.”

When things do have to change, it’s important to plan as far in advance so you can give your child as much warning as possible – “and don’t change too many things at once,” she adds.

Don’t say ‘yes’ to events you know will be stressful

It’s so important to advocate for the needs of your child – and that means saying no to events that you know will be stressful.

“Tell Aunty Irene that hugs are a no-go. Ask school for a timetable of events. You owe no explanations to anyone,” says Myers.

She says autistic people deserve to have their “often-hidden needs accepted and respected”, otherwise they can fall into the trap of feeling the pressure to conform, which can lead to masking, she adds, “which is never a good thing for anyone”.

Masking is where a person hides or disguises parts of their selves in order to fit in. According to the National Autistic Society, it might involve suppressing certain behaviours autistic people find soothing, or mimicking the behaviour of other people in order to get by in social situations.

Do use visual supports

Visual supports such as lists, calendars, text messages or even photos can help autistic people prepare for new experiences, suggests Myers. So don’t be afraid to roadmap what Christmas – and the following days – will entail.

“It helps us to process time, sequence activities and even reduces our anxiety,” she says.

Any kind of visual support you can provide will act as a sat nav to their day. This helps them see the steps they need to take, prevents them from getting lost, and maps out the time it will take (so they can see it will end eventually).

All of this can contribute to preventing them from getting overwhelmed.

Do remember to schedule time for them to recharge

“Imagine we all have a battery inside us. Some things we do drain our battery, and some things we do charge our battery. December brings with it lots of things that can quickly deplete autistic children’s batteries,” says Myers.

Whether it’s the carols, the flashing lights, the social interaction with family members you haven’t seen since this time last year.

“We need to remember that their little batteries may need more opportunities to charge at this time,” says Myers. So do schedule time for your family to rest amid the mayhem of the festive period – even on Christmas Day.

“Take a sensory bag, ear defenders, a dark den, their favourite snack or blanket, whatever works for them,” she adds.

Don’t be too hard on yourself

One thing it’s important for parents to remember is that it’s ok if things don’t turn out perfectly at Christmas. You’re doing the best you can.

Myers recalls how one year her Christmas tree collapsed and thousands of pine needles fell off it. “I was devastated,” she recalls. “I cried so much I convinced myself that Christmas was over.

“But then my son came bounding down the stairs and proceeded to swish through the dry dead pine needles like fallen autumn leaves – my tears turned to hysterical laughter streaming down my face.

“All was not lost, right there in that moment we found joy and laughter. We shared such a moment together in the chaos of my fallen tree that I realised that for us, Christmas was always going to look a bit different to everyone else’s – and that was OK.

“In fact, it was more than ok, it was amazing.”

For more information on supporting children with SEND including informative blogs and podcasts visit www.greatmindstogether.co.uk.

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This Is Why Some Kids Are Terrified Of Santa – And What To Do About It

If you’ve taken your child to see Santa recently, chances are they’ll have reacted one of three ways: they’ll have been shy and a bit unsure, they’ll have been super excited and loved the experience, or they’ll have become really upset.

“If you’ve ever been to a Santa’s grotto it is very common to see kids responding fearfully when it’s their turn to see Santa,” says counsellor Chris Boobier. “The photos are not as parents expected, with many children in tears.”

Sometimes this fear of Saint Nick can spiral into something more. Year-on-year data reveals that Google searches for ‘Santaphobia’ have increased by 56% since last December, according to analysis by Crafted Beds, while searches for ‘fear of Santa’ have risen by 31%.

Why is Santa so scary?

If you think about it, it makes total sense that children would be wary of this strange man dressed in a bright red outfit with fake facial hair. Especially if they’ve been warned against interacting with strangers.

Then you’ve got all the additional storylines that surround Santa. The fact he watches over kids and knows if they’ve been naughty or nice, that he can squeeze down the chimney and drop presents into their bedrooms when they’re asleep.

“It completely goes against everything that is regularly taught about safety, causing conflicted feelings,” says Boobier.

On top of that, come December – heck, November – Santa is everywhere. “Now that you can write to Santa, get Santa to call you, go and see Santa, track him through the air, there is a lot ‘more’ of Santa than ever before and it can be overwhelming,” says the therapist.

“He changes size and shape, has different voices and it doesn’t quite add up: kids are smart and know something is afoot, but also believe what they are told.”

Then you’ve got the over-stimulating environment in which you usually find Santa – the bright lights, loud sounds and crowds of people at his grotto.

Combine that with a couple of years of not socialising much (thanks Covid) and it’s really no wonder more kids aren’t shaking in their boots on coming face-to-face with Mr Claus himself.

“We are in a post Covid world where children under four have not been socialised as much as before because of lockdowns,” says Counselling Directory member Claire Elmes. “This is feeding into many social difficulties, including visiting Santa.”

How to tell your child has a phobia of Santa

The point at which being scared of Santa turns into a full-blown phobia is usually after a negative experience has occurred and the child has linked this to Santa in some way. You might find, as a parent, that anything related to Santa or Christmas then triggers your child, causing a physical and emotional reaction.

You might even notice they start to react negatively to anyone wearing similar red coats, says hypnotherapist Penny Ling: “Our brain’s pattern match for danger. A person with a phobia of spiders will jump at a tomato stalk, so it stands to reason a child phobic about Santa will respond with fear around red coats and long white beards.”

Symptoms of Santaphobia could include your child feeling more anxious than usual, not wanting to go to bed on their own or having difficulty sleeping, says Boobier.

“They may want to avoid anything too ‘Christmassy’ like grottos or certain movies, and not talk about Santa. They may request stockings are not put in their room,” he adds.

Some children, on being faced with Santa, might become agitated and want to leave, adds Ling, who is a member of Hypnotherapy Directory. They might start crying or wet themselves if they are not taken out of the situation early enough.

If you’ve got this far, you’ve probably established that your child has a phobia of Santa – or at the very least, is uncomfortable by his presence. So what can you do about it?

Dos and don’ts for tackling Santaphobia

Do prepare your child for their trip to see Santa

Preparation is key ahead of a trip to see Father Christmas, says Claire Elmes. She recommends discussing what is likely to happen at the grotto and showing your child pictures of Santa ahead of it so they know and are prepared for what to expect.

“Explain that some children find him a bit scary and that’s ok, you will be with them and it is all safe,” she says. Sometimes it can be helpful to go with another child who is OK with Santa.

Don’t force them to sit on Santa’s lap

If you do get to the grotto and they become upset, don’t force them to sit on Saint Nick’s lap or have pictures taken, it’s not going to be enjoyable for the child or help their fear.

“Acknowledge their feelings,” suggests Elmes, “and accept they may not be ready. Gently encourage them to be a safe distance and observe others if possible.”

Boobier adds that parents might want to find other photo opportunities where their child can be themselves and be happy.

Don’t shame your child for being scared

Sometimes as parents it can be hard to put ourselves in our kids’ shoes and you might even tell your child to “stop being silly” because it’s “just Santa”. But Ling suggests this is unhelpful.

“Try to be encouraging, showing that other children are enjoying the experience and it’s just new for them,” she says.

Don’t make up stories about Santa to scare your child into behaving

Chris Boobier is also keen to convey that children begin to have awareness for make believe and reality between the ages of three and five, so anything up to the age of five could be completely real to them.

“The idea they are being watched and don’t want to be on the naughty list will feel very real,” he says. “Knowing to what depth our children believe this Christmas magic can help with pulling back on some on the ever-growing Christmas traditions we create (Elf on the Shelf, anyone?) and reduce the ongoing hype that Christmas has become.”

Elmes agrees: “As tempting as it is try not to use Santa as a bribe for being good (we’ve all been there!) telling children he is always watching can also be a bit scary.”

Do talk about their fears

Let your child tell you they are afraid of Santa and really listen to how they feel, allowing them time and space to explain why, suggest therapists.

“Whilst this can feel a bit sad for parents as they go to all the effort to make Christmas magical, listening and understanding how your child feels without dismissing their feelings is the key to helping your child cope at Christmas time,” Boobier adds.

“They may tell you what would feel better for them and some traditions could be altered as they grow up.”

Remember it probably won’t last forever

However you feel about your child’s response to Santa, Chris Boobier encourages parents to keep perspective: “Most children grow out of a fear for Santa past the age of five, depending on development progress, when they can confidently distinguish the difference between fantasy and reality – and they will become excited again about Santa Claus.”

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12 Tales Of Play Dates Gone So, So Very Wrong

There’s a bit of a wild-card element to every play date. You can control your own behaviour, and you may have attempted to teach your child how to behave as a guest in someone else’s home – or as a host in their own – but you can’t guarantee that your kid won’t spontaneously decide that today is the day to break all the rules.

The children may wander off while you’re attempting to make polite conversation with another parent, and just when you think how nice it is that they are playing together quietly, you suddenly realize that things have gotten too quiet.

We asked for tales of play dates gone wrong on HuffPost Parents’ Facebook page and elsewhere. Here are some of the wildest stories, lightly edited for readability.

A leaky situation

New York mum Kimberly Schwartz and her husband went to pick up their three-year-old from an after-school play date at a friend’s house. After they arrived, the adults chatted in the kitchen while the kids played upstairs. Then, “my husband pointed out a leak coming from the ceiling. The wall was yellow where it was leaking,” said Schwartz.

“My daughter was having so much fun she decided to opt out of using the bathroom and had wet herself in the exact spot upstairs where there was a gap in the molding. She had made it rain urine in their house. And now it’s all I can think of when I visit.”

An eerie glow

When Tammy Greenwood-Stewart of San Diego arranged a play date for her youngest child, then six, she bought glow sticks for entertainment. It worked, but “the two kids chewed the glow sticks,” Greenwood-Stewart said, “and their mouths, tongues, stuffed animals and bedding were all luminescent for hours.”

She said that the parents “Googled like crazy” but the kids were unharmed, adding that her child has since grown into an 18-year-old adult.

Playing referee

When her boys were 10 and eigh years old, Suzanne Brown of Austin, Texas, invited two brothers at those same ages to their house for a play date — but things quickly turned violent.

“Our guests got into such a horrible physical fight with each other that my husband actually had to physically separate them,” said Brown.

“The only way we could keep things from restarting was to move the younger boys to a different part of the house and keep them there.”

When Brown and her husband explained to the guests’ mother what had happened, she responded nonchalantly, “Oh, they get rowdy sometimes.”

Is that a wipe?

Lauren Woods of Washington agreed to babysit a friend’s three-year-old son at the boy’s house. Her own daughter was two at the time.

“He went to the bathroom by himself and said he didn’t need help, and naive person that I was, I believed him,” said Woods.

Later, when she entered the bathroom, Woods discovered that her charge had “gone number two and reached into his mom’s makeup to wipe himself.” When her friend texted to see if everything was going okay, Woods responded, “Yes, but I’m throwing your mascara away — please don’t try to retrieve it.“

Wisely, her friend texted back, “OK, I don’t want to know!”

When a play date is not a play date

Ashley Austrew of Omaha, Nebraska, once brought her kids to another family’s home for what she believed was a play date. She was invited to stay, but while the kids had fun playing, Austrew was subjected to what she generously called “a surprise MLM sales pitch.”

“I had to sit through a presentation about this mom’s multilevel marketing company and get pressured to buy things from her. I’m extremely introverted and really don’t know how to remove myself from awkward situations, so I just politely faked interest,” said Austrew. “It was painful.”

When the kids are playing together quietly, it's not always a good sign.

Paul Biris via Getty Images

When the kids are playing together quietly, it’s not always a good sign.

A dress-up surprise

Sarah Zimmerman of California was chatting with other parents in her living room when she realized that they hadn’t seen their children for a bit, and things were suspiciously quiet.

Then, “my kid came out from the back of our house wearing my teddy,” she said. “It had been in a nondescript gray bag on the upper shelf of my closet. Delightful.”

Keeping everybody safe

Leah Cate of Portland, Oregon, recalled that shortly after her two boys were placed with her home as foster children, the family learned that the pair had two sisters also in foster care.

“We invited the girls over for a play date as soon as possible,” said Cate. This meant four children in the house, ages 6, 4, 3 and 2.

In what Cate described as “the happy chaos of reuniting,” the children “locked us out of the house in front of their social worker, who had come by to check on us. She found us panicking on the porch.”

But the story has the happiest of endings. “We all coached the kids about how to unlock the door, the worker had a great sense of humour, the girls soon came to live with their brothers, and after being in care for six years we adopted them all,” said Cate, who added, “I’m tired just remembering.”

Feelin’ free

Keaton Erin Buster hosted a get-together at her home when her son was preschool age.

“It was summer, so we were all hanging out on the back deck enjoying a barbecue,” she remembered.

“My son announced that he needed to go to the bathroom. I told him ‘OK’ and thought nothing of it. The next thing I know, he’s dropped his pants and is peeing off the deck in front of everyone!”

Buster says she yelled: “Nooo! Not there!”

He son gave her a bewildered look and said: “Why?? You always let me do it!”

“I died of embarrassment twice in the span of about eight seconds,” said Buster.

What happens in the woods…

Canada-based Ashley Owens recalled a celebration for the end of the school year where her son “pooped in the woods instead of going inside to do his business.”

The act might have remained secret, but “one of his friends put it on the end of a stick and chased other kids around with it,” said Owens.

Don’t drink that!

HuffPost reader Rai Mitchell’s daughter was in elementary school when she hosted a sleepover with one of the girl’s friends.

“I walked around the corner to see the child mixing a ‘potion’ concoction consisting of cough medicine, mouthwash and soda that she had intended to give to my child to drink,” she said.

Mitchell was shocked; she had figured that the girls were old enough to know to stay out of the medicine cabinet. But while they had the know-how to open all the safety caps on the bottles, they lacked the wisdom to understand that actually consuming the potion was a bad idea.

Unfortunately, the evening ended badly when Mitchell called off the slumber party. The friend “went fully feral, lashing out and refusing to comply,” said Mitchell, who eventually calmed the child down and drove her home.

It’s the thought that Counts?

Daniela of Cambridge, England, shared that she took her two daughters, ages five and three, to a play date with several other girls.

“At the end of it, the mum who hosted us gave the guests … Christmas presents. My girls received one present to share,” she said.

“It was a present for the ‘family.’ A big drama followed by. My 3-year-old could not understand that it was a shared present, and my oldest wanted to carry it home by herself. They both cried all the way home.”

Me want cookie!

Another parent from Portland shared the story of an “impromptu” outdoor play date with their children, ages five and three, and a neighbour’s 3-year-old. One of their kids asked for a bite of the cookie that the neighbour child was holding — “and accidentally bit his thumb in the process. There was a little bit of blood.”

Of course, “the other mum was understandably upset,” perhaps not believing that the reader’s child had asked for the bite of cookie.

There were no further play dates between the families.

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‘I Pooped In A Secret Way’: 27 Funny Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up Life With Toddlers

Life with toddlers is a real rollercoaster – one moment they’re telling you they love you, the next they’re mooing at you as you step out of the shower.

Fast forward two hours and they’re prostrate on the floor, screaming at you because you wouldn’t let them lick your shoe.

While they can be pretty harsh sometimes – and totally unreasonable – their brutal honesty and innocent outlook on life often brings plenty of laughs to the table, too.

These tweets sum up just how chaotic life can be with young children – and while we do love a moan as parents, we also know we wouldn’t have it any other way.

1. Where did you hide the poo?!

2. My child loves me… but also pizza.

3. Today in questions you never thought you’d ask yourself: Why is there a car under my back?

4. Hi sweetie. Please stop licking mummy’s face.

5. This parent was probably quite relieved they didn’t get to see their toddler’s carol concert IRL.

6. When your toddler is mad because they can’t do something (that also happens to be impossible)…

7. Get this toddler on The Apprentice.

8. Out of the mouth of babes (and all that).

9. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. But with the word penis.

10. This two-year-old ran the dishwasher undetected and empty for an entire hour.

11. Imagine being demoted from Your Majesty to Mom Face. Cruel cruel world.

12. Does anyone else’s toddler run like this?

13. Another reason why toddlers get mad: they can’t eat raw food.

14. This toddler wanted to go and buy some more milk for boobies. Then things got a bit dark.

15. Why do all toddlers line up toys like this?

16. Who doesn’t love getting sick 17 times a month?

17. This toddler requested their pear is cut into rectangles and nobody has time for this.

18. Feelings = hurt.

19. When you find out the nation’s favourite coffee chain doesn’t sell books.

20. We’re just wondering why any parent would do this to themselves?

21. WFH and looking after toddlers is a real hoot (said no one ever).

22. This tweet is perfection.

23. Two going on… 42?

24. Admittedly they can be cute.

25. But then in the next breath they can be stone cold.

26. This toddler is going places. (Mainly the steakhouse next door.)

27. We’ll just leave this here…

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Is It Us Or Are Babies Always In A Sleep Regression?

Name two words parents dread more than sleep regression… we’ll wait.

We often hear about them in Whatsapp groups (why is my baby suddenly not sleeping?! Send coffee!), or in books about child development, with most agreeing the first sleep regression happens around the age of four months. Then eight months. Then 18 months and finally, two years.

But for lots of parents, it can feel like every week you’re starting a new sleep regression with a baby. And even when they’re toddlers, you’ll get the odd night where they sleep through in their cot (and you’ll pop some Prosecco in the morning to celebrate), but you’ll also get lots of occasions where they’ll wake up, end up in your bed, pull your hair, grab your lips and shout “DADDY!” approximately 59 times at 3.30am.

So what are sleep regressions – and why oh why does it feel like you’re constantly in one?

It turns out most sleep specialists don’t really consider sleep regression a thing, per se – the concept is not really used in scientific or medical contexts when discussing child sleep. That said, sleep specialists do recognise that lots of parents are aware of them.

“The only ‘regression’ with any science behind it, that I recognise, is the one that happens around four months old when babies’ sleep cycles actually change and become more like adult sleep,” says Emily Houltram, founder of The Sleep Chief. “But even that one divides professionals!”

Explaining what a sleep regression is, Lauren Peacock, a sleep consultant at Little Sleep Stars, says that “it generally refers to a sudden perceived deterioration in a child’s sleep pattern, typically characterised by difficulty settling at sleep onset and/or night-waking that is happening more frequently and possibly for an increased duration”.

Sleep isn’t linear, she explains, and like all other aspects of development, it matures over time with a noticeable change occurring in the first six months. “Once this change occurs, periodic night-waking becomes a normal part of the sleep pattern,” she says.

Then, whenever children hit a significant stage of their development – so that could be crawling, walking, talking, starting childcare, becoming a sibling, getting sick or teething (the list goes on), there is potential for their sleep to be impacted. Again, and again, and again.

Peacock suggests the term ‘regression’ is actually very misleading because none of these events occur as a result of a child going backwards – “they are only ever moving forwards,” she adds.

But for parents who aren’t sleeping that well, it can definitely seem like a step backwards compared to those halcyon days of newborn sleep when you could ease them gently back into slumber with a mere cuddle and a bit of milk.

Most babies will be impacted by a disruption to sleep at some point in their first few years, but some will be less impacted than others.

“All babies experience changes to their sleep pattern and many will go through phases where sleep feels more challenging,” says Peacock. “Some little ones do have a trickier relationship with sleep than others and so whilst some children will experience more frequent and persistent sleep disruption, others will navigate through these inevitable ups and downs much more smoothly.”

If you’re very much in the camp of surviving the day on four hours’ sleep and feeling like you might never get a good night’s kip ever again, we have some good news – and some bad news.

The good news is that this won’t last forever. When they’re teenagers they’ll be sleeping for lengthy stretches to the point where you’ll probably worry they’re sleeping too much.

The bad news is that even as your baby becomes a toddler, and then a young child, there’ll probably be a few bumps in the road as far as their sleep is concerned. (Like we said: basically one big sleep regression.)

Signs your baby might be entering a so-called sleep regression include:

:: Becoming more difficult to settle at bed or nap time

:: Waking more frequently than was previously typical

:: Waking in the night and then staying awake for a long period – something sleep experts refer to as a “split-night”

:: Waking up a lot earlier.

Vera Livchak via Getty Images

There is a popular narrative around sleep regressions occurring at specific ages: so typically we hear four months, eight months, 18 months and two years as inevitable points that sleep will deteriorate, says Peacock.

“However, some families will feel that their child never experiences a ‘regression’, whereas others will feel that they are hit hard by every single one – with some extra ones thrown in for good measure,” she says.

“There are ages that it is more common to see sleep challenges crop up, and they do tend to coincide with children making big developmental shifts which are more common in the baby and toddler phases, but even older children can hit bumps with their sleep.”

If you are struggling right now, infant sleep expert Katie Palmer, from Infant Sleep Consultants, suggests maintaining good sleep hygiene to get your child into the best position possible to navigate the next few months (and years, if you’re really lucky) of sleep disruption.

“This involves a good routine in the day, well-timed naps, a good bedtime routine and allowing your child to self settle,” she says. “They will always find this easier at the onset of sleep but if you know they can do it at the start of the night, there is no reason why they can’t for the rest of the night.”

The sleep specialist adds that if a child is going through a developmental leap, they may be more unsettled when it comes to drifting off – and if you’re finding this, you can help them by keeping familiar routines and boundaries in place.

Of course, there are certain points where a parent might think: is there something drastically wrong with my child because they literally do not sleep? And if you’re feeling that, it’s definitely worth speaking to a sleep specialist about it – or at the very least your GP.

“There are ages that it is more common to see sleep challenges crop up, and they do tend to coincide with children making big developmental shifts which are more common in the baby and toddler phases, but even older children can hit bumps with their sleep.”

– Lauren Peacock

If a child’s sleep is good enough most of the time – both in terms of quality and quantity – then sometimes just knowing that more challenging periods are biologically normal, and will pass, is all the reassurance parents need, says Peacock.

“All children will, sooner or later, reach the stage of sleeping through the night,” she adds.

But if a child isn’t managing well with the sleep they are getting – for example, if they are regularly tired and irritable throughout the day, or it’s taking hours to settle them at bedtime every night – that’s indicative of a more pervasive challenge with sleep rather than a short-term ‘regression’, she explains.

“Sometimes these challenges are underpinned by physiological aspects such as digestive discomfort or daytime naps not being optimal,” she says. “Other times, the patterns of behaviour that have developed around sleep aren’t helping a child to sleep well.

“The question really is whether things are working well enough, most of the time. If the answer to that is no, there are lots of ways that children can be supported towards better sleep.”

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7 Of The Most Common Things Parents Say About Their Adult Children In Therapy

Each new stage of parenthood comes with different joys and stressors. The problems that weigh heavily on a parent when raising a toddler or a teen are much different than the ones they face once their kids are grown up.

We asked therapists what issues parents of adult children most often bring up during their sessions. Below, they reveal the top concerns they hear again and again and offer advice on how to work through them.

1. “I’m concerned about what they’re posting on social media.”

A parent may know it’s unreasonable to expect an adult child to share all the details of their lives with mom or dad. Still, parents worry that their child may be secretly struggling with something while they’re kept in the dark, said Atlanta clinical psychologist Zainab Delawalla. These worries are often based on — or exacerbated by — what parents see on their kids’ social media profiles.

“Parents often try to ‘read between the lines’ and worry about if their kids are drinking too much, socializing too little or prioritizing the ‘wrong things’ all based on what they see their kids posting,” Delawalla said.

“I often advise these parents to think about what they see on social media as the ‘headline’ of a news article: It gives you some information about the content of the article but is rarely the full story.”

Here's what parents say about their adult kids in therapy.

NickyLloyd via Getty Images

Here’s what parents say about their adult kids in therapy.

The next step is to have an actual conversation with your kid to gather more information about the potential problem.

“The harder part, of course, is trusting that their kids will give them all of the necessary information,” Delawalla said. “And if they choose not to share a specific aspect of their lives with their parents, that they feel equipped to handle it without the parents’ help.”

2. “What if my kid never finds a partner?”

Some parents of adult children worry when their kid is single passed a certain age. Perhaps their son or daughter wants to be in a relationship but has no serious prospects. Or maybe their kid is quite happily single. In either case, the lack of a long-term partner can be distressing to parents when it feels like everyone else is settling down.

Winifred M. Reilly, a marriage and family therapist in Berkeley, California, often hears comments like these from her clients with adult children: “She’s 33, and the clock is ticking,” “He keeps meeting people who are afraid of commitment,” and “Maybe we weren’t the best role models for marriage. What if it’s our fault?”

“At best, as parents of adult children, we’re in the audience watching a play in which our children have the leading role,” Reilly, author of “It Takes One to Tango,” told HuffPost. “None of us enjoys the helpless feeling of being unable to control things or make things better. Especially when our children are struggling. It’s harder still when we take their difficulties personally.”

“None of us enjoys the helpless feeling of being unable to control things or make things better.”

– Winifred M. Reilly, marriage and family therapist

Reilly’s advice? Take a breath and leave it alone. Repeated questions about the status of their love life will only bug them or make them feel worse than they already do.

3. “Is our relationship too close? Or too distant?”

Navigating the closeness (or lack thereof) of the parent/adult child relationship is a common theme among the clients of Pasadena, California, clinical psychologist Ryan Howes.

“If their child is taking their individuality very seriously and not calling or visiting as much as they would like, the parent is wondering how they can foster more contact,” Howes told HuffPost. “And they may be questioning what they did wrong to make their child want to avoid them.”

He continued: “If their child is failing to launch, is still living at home, or seems dependent on them to make rudimentary decisions, they wonder how they can inspire their children to become their own person and are perhaps questioning what they did wrong to make their child so dependent.”

In either situation, the parent is looking for answers on what the “right” amount of independence or contact is for this stage of life and how to persuade their child to get on board.

Howes explained that there is no universal right or wrong amount of contact — only what works best for a given family’s dynamic.

“Now that their child is an adult, their job is no longer to tell their children what to do, but to have a conversation about it, adult-to-adult,” he said. “They need to start by clarifying what they want and hope for regarding the frequency and depth of contact with their adult children, and then ask their children what they want and hope for, and try to come to an agreement.”

4. “My child is too strict — or too permissive — with their kids.”

For some grandparents, the urge to butt in and voice their opinions on their kid’s parenting style can be hard to tamp down.

“Yep, it is really hard not to say something!” Reilly said. “And that’s exactly what you need to do. This issue is both a parenting and an in-law issue, which makes it extra-high voltage. Parents of young children have to find their way. And they usually find that way by trial and error. Sometimes parents don’t even agree about what’s OK and what’s not for the kids. The last thing you want to do is be taking sides.”

“Supporting them financially, materially and in other ways while they flounder and drift aimlessly is not what love looks like.”

– Kurt Smith, therapist specializing in counseling men

Reilly’s rule of thumb: If your kid asks for parenting advice, offer your two cents. Otherwise, be loving and supportive and keep your opinions to yourself.

5. “I feel like my kid has no direction in life.”

Parents come to Northern California therapist Kurt Smith, who specializes in counseling men, for help when their 20- or 30-something-year-old child doesn’t have consistent employment (even though they’re physically and mentally capable of holding down a job). He walks them through how to set healthy boundaries and helps them acknowledge the role they may have played in the child not being more motivated or independent.

“Supporting them financially, materially, and in other ways, while they flounder and drift aimlessly is not what love looks like,” Smith said. “Instead, it looks like being uncomfortable, child and parents, for however long it takes for the adult child to find their identity and turn that into a direction for their life.”

Also, these adult kids may live with their parents long-term until they’ve found steady employment and some financial stability (or perhaps longer). While this may be a fine — or even preferred — arrangement for some families, it can be a common pain point for others.

“Some recent parents I helped had their 47-year-old son living with them for more than 10 years. He moved back home after his divorce, lost his job, never got another one, and never left,” Smith said. “The biggest issue in these situations is helping the parents redefine what loving an adult child looks like, since most mistake love as still caring for them like they did when the child was an actual child.”

Eventually, these clients could set — and firmly hold — new, healthy expectations for their son. He was able to secure a job and move out on his own.

“He’s been out for a while now and just bought a house,” Smith said. “His parents are thrilled and so proud. He was capable of this the whole time — his parents just needed to get out of the way.”

6. “I worry my kid is making the wrong life decisions.”

Parents often have doubts about their kids’ big life decisions: whether it’s about how they manage their money, what career they pursue, or who they choose to date, Delawalla said.

In these cases, the goal in therapy is to help parents understand that the person best-equipped to make these decisions is the person whose life they impact the most, she said.

“Parents are one step removed from such decisions, and while they may have a different perspective, it is healthier for them to allow their children to have freedom of choice,” Delawalla said. “We discuss how to offer their opinion without imposing their will and not withdrawing their support, whether intentionally or unintentionally if their children’s decisions don’t align with their own.”

7. “I think my kid needs help. When should I intervene?”

This one encompasses several of the abovementioned issues: financial, career, relationship or other stressors can all fall under this umbrella. A parent sees that their child is struggling. Their instinct is to swoop in immediately and bail them out of trouble. While it’s understandable that they want to fix things for their child, this behavior may not be in anyone’s best interest in the long run.

Parents may have the resources, knowledge or experience to remedy the situation. They want to intervene but don’t know when or how to go about it. (And those who don’t have the means to fix things for their kid may feel guilty about it, Howes said).

When dealing with this issue, Howes said he defers to a school philosophy from his kids’ kindergarten days: “We don’t do anything for the kids they can do for themselves.”

“If they can tie their shoes, then the teachers won’t tie them for them,” he said. “If they can clean up after lunch, the teachers won’t clean up after them. This is a solid philosophy. Doing those tasks for them teaches them that 1) the world will take care of the things they don’t want to do, and 2) they aren’t competent, so someone better at the task should take over.”

This applies to young adults, too, Howes said.

“If they are able to figure out a budget, recover from heartbreak, and learn to take care of themselves, then they should have the opportunity to do that, which builds self-confidence and a sense of independence,” he said.

“If they are able to figure out a budget, recover from heartbreak, and learn to take care of themselves, then they should have the opportunity to do that.”

– Ryan Howes, psychologist

Swiftly jumping in to save the day sends the message that the adult child cannot handle the situation on their own and needs Mom or Dad to come to their rescue.

“Of course, there are exceptions” to this, Howes said. “If the adult child truly lacks the ability or resources to manage their own life, then parents and other family members may need to step in. But that is not as frequent as some parents think.”

In therapy, Howes asks the parents to consider why they’re intervening: Is it because their child needs them to? Or is it because they don’t like the uncomfortable feeling of knowing their kid is in a tough spot?

“If it’s about their discomfort,” he said, “then we have some important work to do.”

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How To Avoid An All-Out War When The Grandparents Disagree With Your Parenting Style

When it comes to raising kids, everyone wants to share their two cents on what the best way to do it is – and that often includes grandparents.

And whether you’re a new parent who’s still finding their feet, or a seasoned pro who’s mastered the art of caring for multiples, it can be hard not to get upset when someone criticises what you’re doing, or goes against a particular way you want to raise your kids.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, disagreeing over parenting techniques is the most common reason why parents argue with their own parents (aka the grandparents), according to a survey by iHus, which specialises in multigenerational living.

“It is totally normal to have a different parenting style to your own parents,” therapist Siobhan Butt, who is a member of Counselling Directory, tells HuffPost UK.

“You are different people, living at a different time and have a different set of life experiences that inform how you decide to parent.”

The differences in how you parent can come out in all kinds of situations, she suggests, from what you choose to feed your children and how much screen time you allow them, to your political and religious ideology.

The C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital in Michigan asked parents of children aged 0-18 years old about disagreements with grandparents around their parenting choices. Most parents (89%) said their child saw at least one grandparent often or occasionally – and of these, 37% reported minor disagreements with grandparents about their parenting choices, and 6% reported major disagreements.

Two in five parents (40%) said disagreements arose because grandparents were too soft on their children, while 14% said they were too tough.

The most common areas of disagreement were over discipline, meals and snacks, and TV or screen time, followed by manners, health and safety, treating some grandchildren differently than others, bedtime, and sharing photos or information on social media.

If you are finding your parents are doing things that go against how you parent – or they’re making comments about your parenting style that are pretty negative – you’re probably going to have to sit down and have a chat with them about it. Otherwise the resentment is just going to pile up until someone blows a gasket.

“It is always best to have this conversation with them,” says Siobhan Butt, who runs Revive Relationships. “Be open, tell them how you are feeling, make it known that you respect them and appreciate that they have lots of life experience and wisdom to bring, but if you would like advice about a particular situation you will ask them for it.”

Likewise, if you see your parent saying or doing something to your child that you’re not happy or comfortable with – for instance, disciplining them in a certain way – don’t be afraid to pull them up on it.

“Boundaries are so important in this situation, like I said before talk to your parents, be open and honest and let them know what you are uncomfortable with and why,” says the therapist.

But be gentle with them, she warns, as it’s likely they aren’t trying to be malicious and they have the best intentions for you and their grandchildren.

“If you respond to their actions with hostility the situation could escalate and conflict can arise,” she adds.

If you do sit them down for a chat, you might want to remind them that while you respect them and value their input, you are uncomfortable with what they did – and then explain why, says the therapist. Finish the conversation by telling them you would appreciate it if they could not do this in the future.

Of course, sometimes this will fall upon deaf ears. Of those surveyed by C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital, 43% of parents said they’d asked a grandparent to change their behaviour to be consistent with their own choices or rules and while almost half (47%) found they did make a change, just over a third (36%) said the grandparent agreed to change their ways but didn’t, and 17% said the grandparent flat out refused.

“If it is a boundary that keeps being crossed, try being curious,” says Butt. “What is it that they find so difficult about keeping to this and how can you help them?”

With Christmas just around the corner and families coming together under one roof, tensions can run a little higher than normal – meaning the odds of a rift might be higher too.

Adene Sanchez via Getty Images

If you are feeling a bit tense because of something your parent has done or said to your child – or even about the way you parent – it’s important to recognise this and do something about it. “Just how we can recognise a song within a few seconds of hearing it, we can do this too with our own emotions,” says Butt.

“Before things feel like they are too much and your response turns into a reaction of hostility, take a deep breath, maybe remove yourself from the conversation or say you are feeling uncomfortable and you would appreciate it if the conversation could be changed.

“If difficult conversations normally end in shouting and upset think about the pattern of behaviours that normally happen: what role do you play and what can you do to help change this pattern?”

Grandparents are so important and often have so much to offer to your children – like they did to you when you were growing up (and still often do today). They are also, as writer Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett puts it, “the invisible glue holding our broken childcare system together”. Many will – and do – drop everything to get the chance to spend time with their grandkids.

That’s not to say that sometimes you won’t disagree with what they say or do – and vice versa – but after a heart-to-heart, you can often end up singing from the same hymn sheet. (Or at the very least, the same book.)

In cases where this doesn’t happen, ultimately it’s grandparents who lose out – 15% of parents said they limit the amount of time their child sees some grandparents, and these limitations were far more common when grandparents did not respect parenting choices.

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