The subject of having children is a sensitive one, regardless of where you stand.
For those that have decided against becoming parents, though, there are often warnings that they’ll ‘regret’ not bringing children into the world or that they’ll have nobody to look after them when they’re older.
Even if you are firm and confident in your stance, it can get exhausting trying to argue against these comments, especially when they’re coming from parents who just can’t imagine life without children.
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Thankfully, in a response to the question, “People in their 40s and 50s with no children, how does it feel?”, Redditors have shared exactly what life without children is like…
One commenter said: “I never wanted kids. It was worst nightmare to have them. I did everything I could to avoid them, and I’m very happy to have done so.
“Now I just need my work to respect my off time and my life will be perfect. I have more spending power than everyone I know, and I can do whatever I like, and whenever I want. You could not pay me enough to have made the other choice.”
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Another agreed, saying: “I have the freedom and funds to take off for a few weeks to travel anywhere in the world when I feel like it. Did do that a few times already and it was def an experience every time. Or if I feel like it, do nothing at all. I can do whatever the fuck I want and that’s priceless to me.
“Would my life be better or worst with kids? Hard to say tbh but the freedom alone I have right now makes me feel like it’s better than not.”
One icon shared their afternoon plans, saying: “I just had three margaritas and am going to take a nap. Do what you will with that information.”
Even people who love kids are happy to not have their own
Visual-Lobster6625 said: “I knew I’d never be fit to be a mother full time. So I spent my 20′s and 30′s as a Girl Scout leader, having fun and sending the kids home at the end of meetings.
“Sometimes I wish I could know what pregnancy feels like, but I’m glad I don’t have a child of my own.”
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Formiscontent added: “I’m very glad to have been a part of the lives of my brother’s kids but I would have been a terrible parent myself, so it’s all good.”
Theniwokesoftly agreed, saying: “Yes! I adore being an aunt. I mean, I’m technically in my thirties for a few more days, and the kids are very young but like I took the toddler to the zoo on Friday.
“We had a blast. She’s pretty little to get a lot of it, but she really loved watching the meerkats zoom around their habitat.”
One comment added a sobering but fair response, saying: “I’d rather regret not having kids, than have kids, and regret having kids.”
As somebody that used to believe that there was nothing more decadent than an entire block of brie after a night out, I do not have much of a high horse when it comes to other people’s guilty pleasures.
However, upon reading a Reddit thread titled, “What is socially acceptable but you still shouldn’t do it?”, I’m starting to think that my cheesy indulgence might actually be forgivable.
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Don’t read these while you’re eating…
The top-rated comment was about a person after my own heart, saying: “I saw someone sat on a bench eating a ball of mozzarella like an apple once”
What can I say, us soft cheese aficianados don’t need crackers.
User Effective_witness_63 (probably shouldn’t have) admitted: “I’ve drank pots of yoghurt in public before, people do look at you like you’re some kind of savage tho lol.”
Spoons exist for a reason!!!
Another added a story about a customer at their old workplace, saying that the customer would buy a steak bake and milk and then “take a bite then swig before chewing it all up together.”
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They added that this was the customer’s Saturday treat, to which Glitterkelxo responded: “I wish I never read this.”
Huge mood.
User Doorwedge added a comment that actually made me gasp VERY loudly, saying: ”[I] Had a temp job in a warehouse and as part of a guys lunch he ate 3 Oxo cubes straight out of the foil.”
Commenter The_cake_in_Matilda added: “Guy at my old work (supermarket) used to get a full Victoria Sponge, sit in the break room with a fork and go to town on one……EVERY SINGLE SHIFT.”
A king, a hero, and frankly, not somebody that deserves judgement from the monstrosity that was the cake in Matilda.
The one that really made me gag, made me question humanity and wonder if there is any good in the world, though, was: “I once was on a bus when a guy reached into his bag and picked out an onion which he preceded to eat like an apple.”
Donald Trump has won the 2024 US general election ― and seven in ten Brits think he’s not going to be a great president.
Those watching the election fallout outside of the States may feel an uneasy mix of investment and powerlessness; it must be far worse for Kamala voters in the country.
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So we thought we’d reach out to some therapists this National Stress Awareness Day (apt) for advice on how to manage feelings of hopelessness and even despair that people who wanted a different result may be experiencing.
Here’s what they had to say:
Trump’s win “has sent shockwaves around the globe leaving people, US citizens and supporters, friends and family around the world incredibly scared, anxious, confused and let down.”
BACP member, psychotherapist, coach, keynote speaker, and author Bhavna Raithatha told HuffPost UK: “Unfortunately, this has been anything but a natural or normal presidential race. For those now in the crosshairs, life just changed unequivocally.”
The news can be especially challenging for women, minorities and the LGBTQ+ community, the psychotherapist points out.
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“There is already fear present for… communities who have been targeted for generations based on their gender, skin colour and sexuality to name a few. Now, with a president who has been given unchecked power to be ‘a dictator just for a day’ by the highest court in the land, we don’t know what will happen,” Bhavna said.
“There is real fear from families about being split apart and deported. Equally, there is great fear from communities often racially profiled who feel they may be targeted by police who will be given unchecked and unrestricted powers,” she added.
It can also be “deeply concerning” to know that a “hate-fuelled,” “divisive” campaign won so many votes, she added.
With all that said, the psychotherapist shared that it’s “natural that today’s outcome will be the source of a great deal of stress and feelings of hopelessness and loss” due to “the grief of lost hope and expectations.”
“If you are affected by the outcome today, take time to process it. Talk it through with friends and family. Speak to your religious leaders. Speak to a therapist or your social network,” Bhavna advised.
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“Remember, you are not alone. It is natural to be frightened – these are unprecedented times. Take time to be still and let this moment pass and the dust settle. This isn’t the first time an election has disappointed voters. Look after yourself and check in on friends and loved ones.”
“As a therapist, I have been exposed to people’s fears and concerns related to the US election and what it means to them (even for non-Americans).”
BACP member and psychotherapist Vicky Reynal told HuffPost UK: “People might feel strongly impacted by the election results because ultimately, when the political party we support loses, it might feel like a rejection of our personal values, almost invalidating our way of seeing the world.”
She added: “It may also feel disempowering – not just for those who feel immediately threatened by some of the proposed policies of Trump’s agenda, but also because a party loss can trigger a sense that our group, the one we feel we belong to politically is vulnerable.”
Vicky says you don’t have to ignore feelings of stress, anxiety, panic, hopelessness, or despair.
“I think it’s important to take a step back and acknowledge all the feelings that the election results have evoked. Not just the ‘top level’ disappointment, but also the deeper fears and anxieties it brings up. Leaving room for all the feelings is important,” she told HuffPost UK.
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But she adds: “There is still scope in one’s life to advocate for one’s views and beliefs (so plenty of action that you can still take to restore a sense of agency). There are also plenty, plenty of people who hold similar views and wouldn’t invalidate the lens we see the world through.”
For now, Vicky says, you may benefit from distraction.
“At a practical level, now that results are out it might be a good time to ask oneself whether reading what’s in the media is helpful or whether it is unsettling and fuelling the hopelessness,” she advised.
“Curate the sources so what you are exposed to isn’t fatalistic, feeding into your catastrophic (worst case scenario) fears.”
“It might be a good time, if the anxiety is overwhelming to focus on things/activities that you do find calming and soothing (time with loved ones, physical exercise, a hobby).”
If you need professional help, the psychotherapist adds, seek it.
Help and support:
Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.
Some people treat fudgy vs cakey brownie discourse like it’s a debate. It’s not; the latter is a chocolate traybake, and the former is a proper, you know, brownie.
With that understanding, I’ve long been on the hunt for the fudgiest, densest, most chocolate-y of chocolate brownie recipes.
I’ve tried Gordon Ramsay’s (fine, but not quite the right texture), Nigella Lawson’s (delicious but, again, not as relentlessly squidgy as I prefer), and even Mary Berry’s (dare I say it; they were a little lacklustre too).
Only a few recipes stood up to my gooey-base, paper-thin crispy top standards; and all of them had a counterintuitive secret in common.
Which is?
It sounds completely wrong, but the densest, fudgy-est brownies I’ve made have never featured melted chocolate in the batter.
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Part of the reason why that feels so untrue is that melted chocolate is so luxurious, so extravagant, and so, well, chocolate-y. Why would something so cocoa-lly good make a chocolate dessert less sumptuous?
All I can say is it turns out Bon Appetit found the same thing I did when testing brownie recipes: “As compared to those made with just chocolate or a combination of the two, cocoa brownies are reliably superior in terms of texture and flavour,” they shared.
That’s partly because chocolate contains a fat called cocoa butter, which is solid at room temperature (hence, you bite a chocolate bar rather than spread it on your toast).
But when you include cocoa powder, which contains next to none of the fat, your batter is forced to rely on the other fat in the mix for its texture ― butter.
That means brownies made without melted chocolate in the batter take on more of the properties of the butter; they’re softer, more velvet-y, and gooier when cold.
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Then, there’s a question of taste; good cocoa is, well, 100% cocoa, while chocolate will always be somewhat tempered.
That leads to a darker, denser, more chocolate-y flavour.
So what’s the best recipe?
I do actually add some chocolate chunks (never chips) to the brownie mix after it’s all combined. Because it’s not incorporated into the batter, it doesn’t affect the brownie’s texture as much, and it tastes amazing.
I have screenshotted, sent, and then saved his steps on multiple email accounts and written them out physically in more than two notebooks in case The Guardian ever take the page down.
“For me, brownie nirvana is a crackled, shiny top beneath which lies a rich, dense and chewy middle, verging on the underdone,” the food pro wrote ― and he delivered.
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The only note I have is to skip the walnuts he suggests as an optional add-in in place of chocolate chips. Come on ― we all know why we’re really here.
We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, HuffPost UK may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.
One of the best perks of my job as a sex and relationships writer is the truly endless number of sex toys I get to review. And trust me – after you’ve tried as many as I have (mum, this is where you stop reading), you learn that not every vibrator is built the same.
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However, if you’re a sex toy novice, it can sometimes be quite overwhelming trying to understand what you should buy for your spicy toolkit and what is actually worth the money – bedside drawer space is valuable real estate people!
Well, if you’re looking for some silicone support for your sex life, I’ve discovered not just one, but an entire RANGE of sex toys that will hit the spot (ahem) whether you’re a beginner or seasoned sex toy pro.
SexToys.co.uk has the UK’s largest catalogue of adult toys including vibrators, dildos, and sex toys for all genders, so it’s unsurprising that it’s home to my favourite new collection – The One.
The best selling US sex toy brand is exclusively available at SexToys.co.uk and boasts a variety of toys so perfectly inclusive, there is something for everyone.
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When it comes to essentials, The One Power Couple kit is an amazing starting point as it comes with both The One Rose and The One Wand – two must-haves when it comes to achieving different types of clitoral stimulation.
We’ll take both, thanks.
The One Rose is made of body-safe silicone and features innovative pressure wave technology that combines with stimulation to deliver plenty of chills. You can choose from three different speeds and seven patterns of suction and pulsation, giving you plenty of options to work your way through (although, it certainly won’t feel like work).
Meanwhile The One Wand boasts a whopping 10 different vibration speeds and patterns which means it will quickly become one of your favourite pleasure products – it also warms up quickly to body temperature for a more comfortable feel.
And don’t worry about having to stock up on an endless supply of AA batteries anytime soon – both items are rechargeable. The fun doesn’t have to stay limited to the bedroom either as the pleasure-inducing pair are both completely waterproof.
The best bit? Okay, apart from the end result of using them – so technically, the second best bit… they’re super easy to use. A single button powers The One Rose on and off, as well as cycles the product through its 3 speeds and 7 patterns of suction and pulsation.
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The kit is a whopping 50% off at the moment too, taking the price down from £159 to just £79.60 – an absolute barg for two top of the range sex toys. The One Rose and The One Wand can also be bought separately – and they’re 40% off at the moment too!
Meanwhile if you’re looking for internal vibrators – The One Thrusting Rabbit is truly good enough to stop you in your tracks from texting your ex. With a shaft and bunny-shaped clitoral stimulator that deliver intense vibrations, this piece gets an added boost from the thrusting function that does the work for you (I am nothing if not a total pillow princess when it comes to solo enjoyment). With 10 different thrusting speeds to choose from, it’s the perfect vibrator to add to your rotation.
You’ve gotten past the dreaded talking stage, made plans and now finally, it’s here! The first date with someone new! And it’s going well! They’re exciting, they’re amazing, they’re… actually really, really boring and oh my fucking god I need to get out of here.
Yup, we’ve all been there when a date isn’t actually all we hoped it’d crack up to be – but cutting a first date short when things aren’t clicking isn’t always easy. You’ll often consider your date’s feelings above our own and no one wants to come out with some lame excuse about your dog needing a bath.
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In an era of all or nothing dating, research from Tinder revealed that singles know within 30 mins whether the spark is there or not – so how do we get out when there’s not even a flicker?
Do we just grin and bear it? Well, as Paul Brunson, Tinder’s global relationship insights expert points out: “While it can feel uncomfortable to cut a date short, prolonging it when you’re not feeling it, might actually be less considerate in the long run.”
So what’s the right way to get out? We asked dating experts for their advice and they’ve come up with a plan so perfect, you’ll never find yourself having to get a friend to phone with an ‘emergency’ again.
It’s all in the preparation
When we sent out our questions (see: call for help) to dating experts, the same idea came back time and time again – organise a first date that won’t go on too long, so that you don’t find yourself in an awkward position where you might need to cut it short.
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“For first dates where you don’t know the person well, it can be helpful to mention a time constraint as a backup, such as, ‘Thursday sounds great! I do have a deadline on Friday, so don’t keep me out too late!’,” clinical psychologist Dr Sarah Bishop tells us.
Rather than organise a dinner followed by drinks for your first encounter with someone new, opt instead for something low-key.
“Simple dates like meeting for a coffee or drinks are great options,” Sylvia Linzalone, FindingTheOne.com’s relationship guru says.
“And if it’s really going terribly, you won’t have to sit around forever – just drink up and say your goodbyes.”
Time frames are also a fail-safe way to make sure you don’t end up sitting wishing you’d never said yes in the first place – our favourite came from Jamie Johnston, founder of the neurodiverse friendly dating app Mattr, who suggested: “I have an hour free before meeting a friend if you would like to catch up.”
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Westend61 via Getty Images
“You have given a clear time frame and also a commitment after which means they won’t try and lengthen the time,” he points out.
And if you’re actually quite enjoying the date? Well, as Dr Melissa Cook at FunWithFeet and Sofia Gray says: “If you do enjoy their company you can always say that you can stay longer.”
OK but I failed to prepare – GET ME OUT
OK, OK, don’t panic. It sounds cliché as hell, but it’s true – honesty is in fact the best policy.
We know it’s scary, but you owe it to yourself – AND the other person.
As dating Expert at Pure, Drew Wyllie puts it: “Now, cutting a first date short requires nerves of steel and (if you don’t want to go out with a bang) a good amount of tact and empathy. The thing is, as humans we are often scared of letting people down – especially when it comes to dating and meeting new people.
“In the past within my dating life, I have stayed on the fence about not making my intentions clear and telling people that I’m not sure, and in the end this just makes the situation worse as you can lead the other person on and make them think romance is on the cards when in reality – it’s not.”
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When it comes to saying ‘okay that’s enough now’, the main thing is HOW you deliver that honesty.
“If the conversation has dried up, you feel a lack of chemistry or the date simply isn’t going anywhere, it’s okay to acknowledge that. Think about how you’re feeling in the moment and don’t be afraid to share it with your date,” Dr. Lalitaa Suglani, a relationship expert for eharmony advises.
“Being polite doesn’t mean hiding your feelings. If you think it’s time to end a date, don’t make excuses or be overly apologetic. Instead, try a gentle yet straightforward approach. Say something like: ‘I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, but I don’t see this going any further romantically’. This sets a clear boundary without being hurtful, your date will appreciate the honesty and it avoids leaving things in limbo.”
And while we’re on the topic of being polite, letting the other person know that you appreciate their time is also a must according to Dr. Tara (yes, from Celebs Go Dating!).
She also shared the PERFECT framework for a post-date follow-up text for if you’re not in the market for a second date:
“Whether it’s in person or via text, we need to always use empathetic communication – you can do this in three different ways.
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1. You can say thank you for your time, but I don’t feel a romantic connection.
2. You can say it has been lovely to meet you but I don’t think we have any chemistry.
3. if you want to remain friends because you like them as a person, but not romantically, then you can say I had so much fun today. I did not feel any chemistry, but if you would like it would be nice if we can remain friends.”
And finally, you don’t need to be polite if the person you’re on a date with is rude as hell – we’re allowed to put our feelings first.
“The situation is a bit different if the date is going poorly because the other person is being inconsiderate—like checking their phone constantly or not being present,” intimacy expert Magda Kay reminds us.
“In that case, I believe you owe it to yourself to speak up. It’s perfectly okay to be direct and say something like, ‘I don’t feel like you’re fully present, and I don’t think either of us is enjoying this. It’s probably best to end it now.’
“Being honest in situations where the other person isn’t showing respect is important, both for giving them feedback and for standing up for yourself. It’s about learning to speak up when you’re not being treated well.”
Anyone who has an Apple Watch or an equivalent will tell you it’s made them more acutely aware of their health. With features such as heart rate and rhythmn detection, fall detection and even medical ID included, wearable health technology gives users a real-time idea of their wellbeing.
Now, Nirave Gondhia, founder of House of Tech has said that he believes the lasting legacy of Apple will be the Watch.
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In an article for Digital Trends, Gondhia said: “The Apple Watch is the most important device that Apple sells right now.
“Of all the products on Apple’s shelves, it’s the one that markedly improves your life. There’s a suite of health features that could save your life, including high and low-heart-rate notifications, EKG, fall detection, and blood pressure monitoring.”
He also added: “The suite of Apple Health features available today is already incredibly strong. Looking down the road for the next few year, it only stands to get better.”
Medical experts are also excited for the future of digital technology for health
Neurosurgeon Richard D. Fessler M.D said: “Wearable technology can look for possible stroke risk factors, such as sleep apnoea, that may be affecting a patient without them realising it — something that an annual check-up would never detect.
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“And it can constantly monitor things like body temperature that, when elevated, may trigger a stroke. The patient’s provider has access to all of the information gathered by the wearable, and can reach out to the patient if they see anything that needs to be addressed.”
Dr. Anne Lepetit, Chief Medical Officer at Bupa said: “The potential for digital healthcare to transform stroke prevention and recovery has never been clearer.
“Wearable devices connected to health apps can track vital signs in real-time, analysing trends and flagging risk patterns, so you can take preventative action. Remote consultations make it easier for patients to access expert advice, and personalised health programmes to help patients stay engaged with lifestyle changes, such as diet and exercise, that lower stroke risk.”
Hopefully, these revelations will make wearable tech more accessible and affordable to patients.
You may already know that shuffling your feet while walking can be an early sign of dementia, affecting someone’s ability to, say, go up the stairs.
But scientists may have identified another possible early symptom that shows up in your stride.
A 2022 study, published in JAMA Network Open, didn’t look at walking on its own; they compared older people’s hiking styles to their memory.
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The changes in walking didn’t mean much without a decline in certain cognitive skills, they say.
But those who notice differences in their walk alongside cognitive changes, referred to by the study as “dual decliners,” had a higher risk of developing dementia than the rest of the participants.
They examined gait speed in two-year intervals across seven years, and again in the final year.
They also looked at cognitive changes (in memory, verbal fluency, mental processing speed, and “global” cognition) at years 0, 1, 3, 5, and at the close-out of the test.
“Association between domains, such as processing speed and verbal fluency, with gait have been explained by the crossover in the underlying networks or pathology,” the paper says.
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It continues, “Of domains examined, the combination of decline in gait speed with memory had the strongest association with dementia risk. These findings support the inclusion of gait speed in dementia risk screening assessments.”
Does this mean walking more slowly over time is a dementia sign?
No ― again, it was only relevant when paired with cognitive changes.
If you suspect dementia in yourself or a loved one, the NHS advises you to see a GP as soon as possible.
Bringing up the topic with a loved one can be hard, they say, so be sure you approach the topic gently, in a situation they’re familiar with, and without rushing.
“A diagnosis of dementia can also help people with these symptoms, and their families and friends, make plans so they’re prepared for the future,” they add.
“There are around 7.6 million people living with heart and circulatory diseases in the UK,” the British Heart Foundation writes ― around four million men and 3.6 million women.
“We estimate that in the UK more than half of us will get a heart or circulatory condition in our lifetime,” they add.
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Despite that, not all of us are familiar with the signs of heart issues ― though to be fair, the NHS says some, like high cholesterol, ”[does] not usually cause symptoms.”
Most of us will need a blood test to diagnose high cholesterol.
However, the British Heart Foundation says that “if you have familial hypercholesterolaemia, you may have visible signs of high cholesterol.”
What is “familial hypercholesterolemia” and what are its signs?
Tendon xanthomata: a type of swelling that can appear on the knuckles, knees, or the Achilles tendon at the back of the ankle. It results from an accumulation of excess cholesterol.
Xanthelasmas: small cholesterol deposits that develop in the skin around the lower eye area and on the eyelid. They typically have a pale yellow appearance.
Corneal arcus: a pale white ring surrounding the iris, the coloured part of the eye. If you’re under 50 and have corneal arcus, it could be an indication of FH.
Other signs that aren’t visible include having a heart attack or stroke (especially at a younger age), noticing high cholesterol in your routine blood test, having a family history of premature heart disease or stroke, or knowing a relative has the condition.
Not everyone with FH will have all of those symptoms;get a genetic test if you’re unsure.
How can I lower my cholesterol?
Some people with high cholesterol will be put on medications called statins, but all will be advised to improve their diet and exercise more.
“To reduce your cholesterol, try to cut down on fatty food, especially food that contains a type of fat called saturated fat,” the NHS says, adding: “You can still have foods that contain a healthier type of fat called unsaturated fat.”
Stopping smoking, cutting down on or not drinking booze, and exercising for at least 150 minutes a week can all help too, they say.
Speak to your doctor if you’re worried about your heart health.
As a former cleaner, I notice the little details (like polished taps and doorknobs, or truly streak-free windows) that show an expert level of cleaning.
You don’t have to be a cleaner to meet those standards; I’ve even had clients whose homes were pro-looking spick and span before I turned up.
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Even in those houses, however, an important part of the bedroom was almost always ignored.
Freddie Garnham, Lighting Design Engineer at Dyson, shared that “unseen dust mites, allergens and dust contribute to an unhygienic environment” in our sleeping space in one neglected area in particular.
Which is?
People, you are meant to vacuum your mattress.
It makes sense when you think about it ― you may already vacuum your sofa, but for some reason, mattresses always seem to evade deep cleans.
That’s not a great idea, Garnham says.
“Regularly vacuuming your mattress will ensure a cleaner and more hygienic sleeping environment and a sleep undisturbed by allergies,” he said.
“While the frequency will depend on the mattress itself, it is recommended to be cleaned every six months with bedding changed once a week to keep dust and allergens at bay.”
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He’s not alone. Speaking to Ideal Homes, Jane Wilson, manager of Fantastic Cleaners, said: “Regular vacuuming of your mattress can help remove allergens, dust mites, and dirt, contributing to a cleaner and more hygienic sleeping environment.”
She added,“It’s generally safe and beneficial for most types of mattresses. This includes mattresses with materials such as foam, latex, innerspring, hybrid, and memory foam.”
How should I vacuum my mattress?
The good news is that you don’t need a specially designed tool for the task: a plain old Henry or other vacuum will do.
Mattress Online says you should get the nozzle on the bed part and begin “using small circular motions over the entire mattress to make sure you lift all of the dust, dirt, hair and dead skin.
“If you have one, you can also use an upholstery attachment to make vacuuming a little easier, but it’s not essential.”
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Once you’ve tried it, we can almost guarantee you’ll never go back.
