Can We Ever Really Recover From Burnout?

You’re reading Life-Work Balance, a series aiming to redirect our total devotion to work into prioritising our personal lives.

“I’ve had splinters on my feet, I’m physically exhausted, I’ve had breakdowns. All the detox time in the world doesn’t change how burned out I am.”

This is the experience of Anthony*, a tech worker, 34, from London. After being asked to work weekends, weeks of late shifts, only then to be swapped onto earlies without warning, Anthony’s job has left him totally drained. So much so he’s quit his job without securing another. “I just can’t take anymore of this.”

Anthony isn’t alone in this state of mind. By the end of 2021, burnout was affecting more than 79% of UK workers, according to research by the HR tech company Ceridian, with 35% of people reporting high or extreme levels.

Nearly half (49%) of those surveyed in research cited an increased workload as a cause. The ongoing pandemic, post-Covid recovery, and the so-called Great Resignation, have left employers squeezing more out of their workers than ever before. And it’s causing a physical and mental health crisis.

Is there a chance of recovery? How long does it take to get over burnout?

We’ve seen buzzwords like self-care, wellness weekends and digital detox become the norm, but they risk ignoring the broader picture – that short stints of respite or relaxation don’t counteract the strenuous, back-breaking and brain-fogging nature of work under capitalism.

So what can we do? The obvious solution – if the Great Resignation is anything to go by – is to leave workplaces, even professions, that are bad for our health.

It’s what Lana*, 26, a social services worker in New York City, had to do to get some relief from her burnout.

“I quit working in the most toxic field possible in which I was forced to travel all over the city to unsafe locations. I got no support while dealing with people in extreme suffering/people who are dying. So I decided to get out of the field,” she tells HuffPost.

“Now I do my job and come home. No travel, no dying, I don’t stay late and I don’t take work home with me.

“My burnout was affecting me and my clients. I had to take a good hard look at myself and give myself the freedom to breathe again.”

Lana says she appreciates not everyone can leave their job immediately, especially given how expensive the cost of living is right now.

But if you are experiencing burnout, she says, it pays to make a change, rather than attempting simply to work through it.

“Finding new work definitely isn’t the only way to get over burnout, but you have to know when it’s time to take a break or reevaluate,” she says. “I feel like we owe it to ourselves.”

And while you might not completely be able to get over this block, there are some things you can do to mitigate burnout.

Jo Davidson, a business strategist who predominantly mentors female entrepreneurs, says she sees burnout among her clients all too often.

Recognise when you’re being pushed too much, she says. “Acknowledge that burnout is a result of the body telling us to stop. But we choose to ignore it, and don’t listen,” she tells HuffPost. “Taking changes is important because going back into exactly the same situation will only ever delay the healing.”

So how long can you expect to take to recover? Well, there is no right answer as the journey isn’t so linear.

“Recovery from burnout is definitely affected by how long it has been going on and how the individual recognises they have it and how actively they want to overcome it. For some it may be 10-12 weeks, however for others it can take years.”

10 steps to dealing with burnout

Davidson says there are ways you can aid your own recovery, whether that ultimately means leaving a job – or not. Here are some of those steps:

1. Acknowledge that it exists
2. Track stress levels (use an app, journal)
3. Identify the stressors and step away from these situations
4. Seek professional help. This is a strength not a weakness
5. Create a work life balance that includes time to have fun and rest
6. Change jobs if it is really badly affecting your mental health
7. Be kinder to yourself and keep a gratitude journal
8. Own it and believe that you can change it
9. Create a healthy sleep schedule and diet
10. Set boundaries.

While these are ways as individuals that we can ameliorate our conditions, remember that setting personal boundaries may not change the demands of your job wholesale.

This requires a company-wide push, or if you’ve got enough seniority in your role, a persistence in demands to change the wider work culture. Work should be a complementary part of our lives, not the thing that makes it unliveable.

*Names have been changed and surnames omitted to offer anonymity.

Life-Work Balance questions the status quo of work culture, its mental and physical impacts, and radically reimagines how we can change it to work for us.

HuffPost UK/ Isabella Carapella

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How Soon Is Too Soon To Quit A New Job?

The urge to quit a relatively new job can be an uncomfortable feeling, but it is not uncommon. According to a 2018 survey from the recruiting service Jobvite, 30% of new employees leave their jobs within the first 90 days of getting hired.

The top three reasons quitters gave were that the role did not meet expectations from the job interview process (43%), a one-time incident that made them want to leave (34%), and bad company culture (32%).

During the Great Resignation, more of us may be saying our farewells sooner. “Talent has a little bit more of an upper hand,” and old-school rules of sticking it out at a hard job may no longer apply in certain cases, said Mary Abbajay, president of the leadership development consultancy Careerstone Group and author of “Managing Up: How to Move Up, Win at Work, and Succeed with Any Type of Boss.”

But before you give notice and join the league of early quitters, consider why you want to leave so soon after starting. Sometimes it can take a few months to feel comfortable in a new role and with new colleagues. And if you’re at the beginning of your career, it’s helpful to know that first-job blues are typical.

“You want to make sure you are not leaving just because you don’t like working, as you are getting used to the difference to being in school and being at work,” Abbajay said. If it is indeed the first-job blues, she recommends sticking it out for a year to gain experience you can talk about in future interviews.

But you should also trust your gut if something feels off.

We have to dispel this myth that we have to sit in agony if it’s not working out,” said career coach Jasmine Escalera, who does not subscribe to the “stick it out” mentality.

Here are three scenarios in which it is definitely not too soon to quit a job:

1. You find yourself in a toxic job.

Nothing drives people out quicker than a toxic work environment. According to a FlexJobs survey from February and March of more than 2,000 U.S. employees, “toxic company culture” was the top reason people cited who felt they had to quit their jobs in the past six months.

This is for good reason. A difficult boss like a micromanager can be annoying to deal with, but they can be managed. A toxic boss, on the other hand, will corrode your soul and is an active threat to your health.

Abbajay noted that a difficult boss “may be impulsive, they may be poor communicators. Their style of working just isn’t aligned with your style of working. A toxic boss is a boss that is dehumanizing, a boss that is abusive, a boss that is screamer, a shouter… [With] a toxic boss, you are going to start to feel less than, you are going to be consumed with the stress of dealing with this person.”

If you feel stuck with toxic bosses and colleagues, don’t linger. “Once you recognize the toxicity, or the organization’s toxicity, you should think about getting out,” Abbajay said.

Escalera agreed with this assessment. Having escaped a toxic work environment in the past, she finds that toxic work cultures cause trauma and make it impossible for you to be confident and capable in your professional life.

“The longer you are there, the deeper those cuts are going to be, and the harder it is going to be to leave, because you start to change the perspective of how you think about yourself,” she said.

2. The job is a radical mismatch with what you were promised in interviews.

You shouldn’t wait too long for circumstances to improve if the job you were sold by recruiters and hiring managers is radically different in reality. This likely means there’ll be no learning opportunities ahead, no internal mobility and no alignment with your planned career future.

If you believe a mismatch in roles is fixable, talk to your manager and colleagues about what you feel you deserve and what you need to see change, Escalera advised. But don’t put undue pressure on yourself to stay in a job that isn’t suitable.

Escalera said she experienced a mismatch when a leadership and mentorship role she interviewed for at a hospital turned out to be different than what was discussed. She tried to talk with her supervisor to get her responsibilities more aligned with the expectations she had from the interview process but was basically told, “‘This is what it is,’” she said.

She left the job within five months and has no regrets: “If I could’ve left in five days, I would have.”

3. You get a better offer that aligns with your goals.

If you get a dream job offer soon after you start a new job, you should reflect on whether the new opportunity is the better choice for your future career success, regardless of how short your current tenure is, Escalera said.

If the new opportunity is “going to get you to that end goal quicker and faster, you have to do what’s in best service to you,” she said.

Abbajay warned, however, that too many one-year-and-under stints on your resume can be a bad look to prospective employers. Your next potential employer may think, “Why should I invest in you if you’re not going to invest in me?” she said.

Still, there’s a way to positively spin this in job interviews. When Escalera was asked in interviews about her short stint in the mismatched hospital job, she was candid about how the role was different than promised and didn’t align with where she wanted to go. Her advice to job seekers is to be transparent about past mismatches, while also being clear that as a result of the experience, you now know that this new opportunity is the best role for you, she said.

“You have to be internally very strong and internally have a purpose to move your career in the direction that you want.”

– Jasmine Escalera, career coach

If you are wrestling with guilt about bailing on a relatively new job for something better, that’s normal. Escalera said she has experienced this guilt as a Latina who grew up in public housing and whose parents wanted safety and stability for her career.

“It puts a ceiling on what you believe is possible for you when you come from backgrounds like that. It makes you feel like, ‘If I got this, then I should just settle in it, and I should just keep it… because this is better than where I came from, this is better than even what my parents have at the age of 60 years old, and I am 40,’” she said. “You have to be internally very strong and internally have a purpose to move your career in the direction that you want, and you have to make decisions coming from that purpose, but that is really hard when there are really a lot of external voices.”

In the end, you are in the driver’s seat of your career — not your new boss, or your new company, or your family. If you have a gut feeling that a job is not going to be good for your well-being or future, you should listen to that feeling, regardless of whether the warning comes in the first few months of the job.

Often, there are times “when you knew something wasn’t right, and instead of connecting with that feeling, you tried to push that feeling down,” Escalera said, noting that’s a mode of thinking she has moved away from. “What I try to do now is entertain the feeling.”

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The Zara Vs Shein Row Is A Fast Fashion Race To The Bottom

Fast fashion brand Shein has found itself accused of duplicating designs from the popular high street clothes shop Zara.

Users on TikTok particularly have pointed out the similarities between dozens of designs from both brands, with #ZaravsShein reaching 34.6 million views and #ZaraDupe hitting 40 million.

This isn’t the first time Shein has been called out for copying designs. Brands such as Levi Strauss, AirWair International (producer of Dr Marten boots) and Ralph Lauren have already taken legal action against the brand over alleged copyright infringement.

In the past, Zara has separately been accused by independent designers of copying designs, leading to some items being taken off shelves.

In response to the latest comparisons, a Shein spokesperson told the Guardian: “Shein suppliers are required to comply with the company’s code of conduct and certify their products do not infringe on third-party IP.”

HuffPost UK has also contacted the brand for comment.

The items in question have received mixed reviews on TikTok. While some shoppers are raving about their bargain buys, others are warning that fast fashion will “destroy the planet”. As one TikTokker points out, Zara is still considered a fast fashion brand, despite its higher price point to Shein.

Zara is part of the Inditex Group, whose brands include Pull&Bear, Massimo Dutti, Bershka, Stradivarius and Oysho. As the sustainable fashion index Good On You highlights, Zara’s business model is based on an incredibly high turnover of the latest fashion items.

So what does it say about fast fashion if brands are pinching designs from each other?

Michaela Leitz, a 28-year old fashion stylist and influencer from Germany, thinks copycat fashion fundamentally diminishes a brand’s identity and creativity.

“Shein is known for creating 700 to 1000 new designs a day. It’s not a creative process – you can’t even do that if you have a huge team of designers,” she tells HuffPost UK.

“And because they’re producing at that rate the clothes are usually bad quality. So after two or three washes your clothes are already falling part, which is destroying our planet because the clothes aren’t decaying.”

Shein is known for its cheap price point, which is why the brand has such a huge appeal to young people. So much so, the company’s revenue has quadrupled since 2019, according to the Business of Fashion website, with sales rising from $15.7bn (£12.1bn) to a huge $100bn.

But even though Zara has pricier items, its retail model tells a different story.

“Zara produces 52 sub-seasons a year whereas high quality designer brands have two main seasons a year, so it’s still a fast fashion brand,” Leitz says. That’s despite the fact, she adds, that “you’re able to go into a Zara store and see the designs [and] it feels more luxurious than Shein.”

When fast fashion brands start stocking similar designs, Leitz says it feeds into “micro trends” – which are bad news for the planet and your fashion sense.

Micro trends are when a fashion item or aesthetic become really popular quickly, but goes out of style equally quickly,. While macro trends can last from five to 10 years, micro trends can last as little as three – or an even shorter timeframe.

“Micro trends don’t allow you to have your own signature style,” says Leitz. “As a consumer you just keep buying all these clothes that you won’t wear again. Which is of course really bad for the environment.”

For Leitz, the Zara vs Shein hashtag highlights how fashion is losing its meaning. “Fashion is self-expression for clothing, it’s storytelling and showing who you are. These brands aren’t original in my opinion,” she says.

Leitz believes fast fashion dupes take away from creativity and individualism. “We’re seeing brands creating 700 designs today. There’s no innovation, so where does fashion go from here if brands are just copying each other?”

However, boycotting fast fashion brands is harder said than done. If you’re someone on a low income it can be challenging to shop sustainably, and for some people, there are added barriers.

“I specialise in plus-size fashion so I know how hard it is find clothes and understand that not everyone can afford the expensive price points,” Leitz says.

“When I was in my early 20s I also didn’t have the funds to shop at expensive brands but I recommend trying to shop vintage. Or save up some money and buy fewer items that you can rewear. That way you can create your own signature style that you can have for years.”

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This Is How Men Under 30 Really Feel About Fatherhood

Women are “delaying” motherhood, or so the headlines would lead you to believe. And yet it takes two to tango if you’re hoping to conceive naturally.

When ONS data released earlier this year revealed a record number of women do not have children by the time they reach 30, the debate that ensued was a little skewed, to say the least.

Radio hosts questioned whether it was careers, the cost of living, or a desire for post-pandemic fun that was motivating women to have children later in life. The role of men in all this barely got a look-in.

But the chat did spark an interesting conversation with a friend of mine who, despite his impending 30th birthday, revealed that nobody had ever asked him about his views on fatherhood. Ever.

And actually, it might benefit us all if guys talked about this stuff, too.

Though there is one scientific study into male attitudes on fatherhood that’s periodically bandied around, we seldom hear men talking about this topic in the media – or even everyday life.

So to redress the balance, I asked a bunch of guys under 30 to share their feelings about parenthood. Here’s what they had to say:

“Being a father is just very exciting. It’s not about having that title, but rather being proud to do the things involved, have that responsibility of caring and loving for a child. We knew there would never be a ‘perfect time’, and given we were settled and agreed on having them down the line, we didn’t want to put it off any longer. It’s still bloody terrifying, but good things usually are.” – Ben Rogers (a new father), 29, South London

“I’m getting married next year and I think some family will expect us to have children soon. Personally, I’d rather wait five or six years and travel/enjoy married life first.” – Miles, 29, Hertfordshire

“As a 23-year-old with a business that will soon be turning over six figures, the thought of having a child is something that I’ve mentally delayed even thinking about until my mid-thirties as my friends that have children have had their careers put on hold and are now struggling financially.” – Ted Lawlor, 23, South London

“To be comfortable being a dad I’d need 1) to genuinely be very much in love with the woman, and expect to happily spend the rest of my life with her 2) have a house with enough room and 3) be generally financially stable enough given childcare costs. Due to my financial situation, I was living with my parents until my mid 20s, I think it is very hard to think about having children when living in your parents’ house.” – Sam, 27, Surrey

“I definitely want to be a father one day. The newly born period doesn’t appeal – sleepless nights, nappies etc – but when they can walk and talk I think it would be great fun being a dad! I would have had no issue being a young dad if it had happened.” – Jack, 29, London

“The thought of having children right now whilst I’m not settled down is a scary thought. I feel like it’s a huge responsibility that I’m not ready for yet! I want to make my stamp on the world before I bring my children into it and that’s my main focus.” – Harry Portch, 23, Reading

“Honestly? I haven’t thought about it much yet. Maybe one day, but I don’t feel the urgency yet or anything.” – Elliot, 28, Newcastle

“I’m not sure I want to be a father. But my partner is almost a decade older than me, and it means we’re grappling with a biological clock long before I expected to. We’re sensitive people who like their quiet, and worry about being consumed by childcare and regretting it. We both grew up in tense, angry households and are wary of either losing our peace or inflicting our own stress on any children. We also hate the idea of having kids out of custom or expectation when we’re unsure if it’s for us. But the prospect of missing our chance to do it biologically – especially when all her friends are having kids – is difficult, too.” – Joe, 27, London

“I’m 24 with a very stable career in the medical industry and a girlfriend that I adore, so for me, I cannot wait to have a child! My girlfriend and I have a plan to save money specifically with the child in mind so that we’re fully prepared for the magical moment.” – Jake Hanley, 24, Kent

“The earlier I have kids, the longer I’ll be around for them and my grandkids, but the cost of living and housing means this is being pushed down the road. It’s an increasingly unrealistic reality to enjoy seeing kids and grandkids grow up through life.” – Jonny Abbott, 23, Oxfordshire

“I’m equally as terrified of not having kids as I am of having kids. Knowing men who are involuntarily childless, the pain they have gone through is indescribable. Public broodiness in men is very stigmatised so I’m not surprised men aren’t willing to talk about it. I hope that changes.” – Freddie, 27, London

*Some surnames have been omitted to offer anonymity

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24 Of The Funniest Tweets About Married Life

And somehow the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life ― and sum it up perfectly in no more than 280 characters.

Every other week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the previous 14 days. Read on for 24 new, relatable ones that will have you laughing in agreement.

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Never End A Job Interview Without Doing These 3 Things

During a job interview, your nerves and adrenaline may be at an all-time high. That’s why it helps to be prepared.

Ideally, the actual experiences and skills that you share will help you stand out. But how you end the interview can leave a really critical last impression.

If a candidate does a bad interview, nothing they can do at the end is going to save them,” said Daniel Space, a senior human resources business partner for large tech companies.

“I have seen a good interview get docked a little bit because of how badly the end went. … I have seen ‘medium’ interviews go really, really well if a candidate can make a last attempt [to stand out at the end].”

As the clock winds down to the end of your interview, there are key opportunities you can take to help solidify your position as a top finalist. Here’s what you need to remember to do:

1. DO come prepared with targeted questions that show you have done your research. But DON’T invite criticism.

After the hiring manager or panel asks you questions, there is usually a time toward the end of an interview where they will ask, “What questions do you have for me?”

Don’t say you have no questions and call it a day.

“I’ve had executive-level candidates sometimes, who at the end of the interview … they only ask one question,” said Laura Hunting, CEO of Found By Inc., a talent agency and executive search firm specializing in design. “That’s not a good sign. It signals a lack of interest, a lack of strategic ability, a lack of experience. So I think really coming prepared to interview with follow-up questions is important and can make or break the experience.”

The best questions to ask are those that come up after you do some reflection on what you want out of your next job and what you have heard from interviewers about the role.

Hunting recommends first getting crystal-clear about what core qualities you are looking for in your next job so that you leave an interview getting the information that you need to make a decision.

If you are job-hunting to escape uncommunicative, unhelpful bosses, for example, try asking questions about things that can be deal-breakers for you, such as, “How do you measure success? How will you know whether you hired the right person three months from now? What are the most successful team members doing differently from the average team member?”

If you are seeking more hands-on management, ask, “What does your onboarding process look like?”

“You learn right away whether you are going to be thrown to the wolves,” Watkins said.

If you want to make sure all the bases were covered in your interview, Hunting said you can ask, “Is there anything else that I can answer for you that would help you understand more about me and my skills and experience?”

“That really helps interviewers have one last chance to get a sign on anything that’s missing,” Watkins explained.

“Anytime that you can create as smooth an interview experience as possible … it makes that person on the other end feel that much better about how you can contribute.”

– Laura Hunting, CEO of a talent agency and executive search firm

Keep in mind that there are questions that can do more harm than good. Space warned against asking a question like “Do you have any reservations about me?” because he has seen firsthand how this question can backfire.

“What you are doing is asking this person to think about you in a negative light,” Space said. “And I’ve met so many managers who just feel incredibly awkward after being asked that. You are just going to get a boring basic answer: ‘I think you’ve answered all of my questions at this time.’ Is that really the impression you want to leave?”

2. DO thank people by name and make eye contact.

Thanking people for their time as you end the interview is one basic yet important way to show your professionalism. But if you want to go one step further, make a point to thank them by name.

“Most of the times when we are interviewing, we are so nervous, we are like ‘OK great, thanks,’” Space said, noting that for others, “There is a magic to hearing your name.”

Doing this can be as simple as saying the interviewer’s name and thanking them by title with language like, “‘As a VP of HR, I know you are really busy and I wanted to let you know I appreciate our conversation and I look forward to next steps,’” Space shared as an example. “Making sure you are leaving off with the best possible impression will do a lot of good for you when [interviewers] then go on to the debriefing.”

Hunting said candidates can forget the power of body language, such as eye contact, while thanking an interviewer and giving facial cues to show they are being an active listener. But she noted that these basic actions make job interviews, particularly remote video interviews, feel more organic and natural.

“For better or for worse, how people feel in an interview, it’s a bias,” Hunting said. “It’s going to skew them one way or the other. Anytime that you can create as smooth an interview experience as possible … it makes that person on the other end feel that much better about how you can contribute.”

3. DO clarify if a thank-you note is expected. And if yes, DO follow up with a personalized one to keep the conversation going.

Thanking people in a follow-up note can be helpful on a case-by-case basis. At some companies, interviewers may find it totally unnecessary for you to follow up, while at others, they may expect you to do so.

“There are so many managers that indicate they are a little bit uncomfortable with a thank-you note because they know they are getting a copy-and-pasted template that someone just looked for online, and they don’t know how to respond to it,” said Space, who finds a thank-you note to be an unnecessary administrative burden for job candidates.

When in doubt, Hunting recommends determining what the expectations may be regarding thank-you notes.

Watkins said if you are going to follow up by thanking those you spoke with, don’t just reply all; send individual messages. “If there are five people interviewing you, there are five opportunities to share something interesting, impactful after your interview,” Watkins said.

Make a point to ensure your message isn’t generic. Often, people write something like, “‘I really enjoyed talking to you about X/Y/Z position. If you have any questions about X position, let me know.’ Well, yeah, that’s obvious,” Watkins said. “What I would like to see people do is use that as an opportunity to sell themselves. You are your best marketer, regardless [of] what it is that you do.”

Watkins suggested that if you take notes during your interview, note key points each person has mentioned so you can personalize your thank-you messages.

“If you can tie that to a success that you have had … at some point in your career, the thank-you note is a great way to bring that up,” Watkins said.

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How To Deal With Body Image Issues When You’re On Holiday

Vacations can be tricky for those of us who struggle with body image.

Sometimes the clothes we think we’ll look hot in suddenly feel wrong. These thoughts can mess with our mood and get in the way of us enjoying time off — which is frustrating, yet hard to beat. The conversations we hear in real life and from the media about “bikini bodies,” as well as systemic fatphobia issues, such as hotels not giving out size-inclusive towels and airplanes making too-small seatbelts, exacerbate this predicament.

While you may not be able to avoid focusing on body concerns entirely, you can pack and prepare in a way that helps foster better body positivity on your trip. A few eating disorder and body image experts shared their best tips.

Start with your packing list

When you’re staring at your closet, trying to decide what to pack, go for comfort first. Think of the temperature at your vacation spot, what materials feel best on your skin, variety and pieces you know you love.

“People should pack whatever clothes they feel most comfortable in and are suitable for the climate of their vacation or types of activities that they’ll be doing,” said Rachel Evans, an eating disorder psychologist. “If you have space in your suitcase, then it’s probably a good idea to pack a range of clothes, some with a looser fit and some with a tighter fit … You can decide in the moment what clothes make you feel more secure about your body.”

Then, consider what feels fit for the occasion. “Look at styling and function,” said Carolina Mountford, an eating disorder expert with personal experience and a mental health advocate. “Do you need smart or casual? Is it an active holiday or relaxing by pools or on beaches? … Once you’ve narrowed it down to comfort and function, pick your favorites.”

And don’t forget about what feels stylish to you as far as colors, prints and styles. “Are you able to dress up in a way that feels less about the body and more about who you see yourself as?” said Kerrie Jones, a psychotherapist and founder of Orri, a specialist day treatment service for eating disorders. “Turn your attention towards the individual items themselves as opposed to how they are making your body look.”

Plan ahead for scenarios that may bring up body image issues

You can also prepare for vacation by brainstorming triggers and how to handle them.

“Whether it’s social media, a certain person or group of people in your friendship circle or an experience — perhaps changing rooms — if you’re aware of situations or activities that trigger negative body image, you can work to process and respond to them in a healthy way,” Jones said.

That may look like deleting your Instagram app while you’re away or changing clothes by yourself. Mentally preparing for the circumstances you know don’t make you feel good can help you navigate them or avoid them.

Packing a range of clothes and options will help you feel more comfortable on your trip.

Adene Sanchez via Getty Images

Packing a range of clothes and options will help you feel more comfortable on your trip.

If negative thoughts pop up on your trip, redirect your attention

While being mindful of the clothes you pack can help with body image, you may still struggle with negative thoughts popping up. No need to feel bad; it happens to many of us.

“My body is supporting me on this holiday,” Evans suggested. Is it digesting yummy new foods? Allowing you to swim in the ocean? Helping you play with your kids in the sand? “Research suggests that when we focus on what our body can do for us, rather than what it looks like, then we develop a better relationship with our body,” Evans said.

Treat yourself like you’d treat someone you love

“Speak as kindly to yourself as you would to a friend. Remind yourself that this is your holiday; you’ve worked hard for it and you deserve to enjoy every moment,” Mountford said. “Remind yourself that outward appearances are a desperately poor measure of contentment. Remind yourself that those around you love you as you are.”

She explained these thoughts can help you reset your focus and re-connect you to the present.

Think of other aspects outside of your body

Jones also recommended reminding yourself that you are so much more than a body ― both on vacation and at home. Think, “What makes me laugh? Who do I love, and who do I know loves me back? What fulfills me? What areas of my life do I want to nurture?” she said.

And when you’re worried other people are judging you, remember feelings aren’t facts. “You’ll likely see that almost everyone is too busy getting on with their vacation to be focusing on what your body looks like,” Evans assured.

Lastly, she shared her favorite quote from Zen Shin for when you catch yourself comparing: “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”

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How To Cope When You’re The Only One Wearing A Mask At Work

Under the latest Centers for Disease Control and Prevention guidance, more than half of the U.S. population lives in an area now considered to be low or medium risk for COVID, and residents there can go indoors without a mask. Many states have also loosened mask mandates, and a lot of workplaces no longer require employees to wear masks as a result.

If you’re still most comfortable with a mask on indoors in an office setting, you may suddenly find yourself to be in the minority. And when you are one of the only people with a face mask during meetings, it can feel socially awkward.

That’s why it can help to remember why masks are effective and to have a strategy in place if a colleague does inquire about your mask. Epidemiologists and other COVID experts weighed in on one-way masking benefits, and offered conversation strategies for mask-wearers:

1. Keep in mind that masks still work and we’re still in a pandemic.

If none of your co-workers are wearing masks, you may wonder if there’s a point to you wearing one. But well-constructed, tightly-fitting masks do offer protection, even when others are not wearing them, too.

“They do work. Somebody who is wearing a respirator in an office setting is going to get a fair degree of protection from doing that,” said Dr. Mark Rupp, chief of the Infectious Diseases Division at the University of Nebraska Medical Center.

“Any mask is better than no mask,” said Jose-Luis Jimenez, a professor at the University of Colorado Boulder and an aerosols scientist. “To make up for the fact that other people are not masking, you should wear a high-quality mask.”

Jimenez described high-quality masks as ones that are breathable, with a good filter that prevents most aerosols from being inhaled, and with a secure fit that has no gaps on your face, such as an N95 mask.

“Have the strength of your convictions and realize you may be the smartest person in the room”

– Dr. Mark Rupp, chief of the Infectious Diseases Division at the University of Nebraska Medical Center

And keep in mind the public health stakes. “What you are doing is minimizing the chance that you inhale a respiratory disease. That’s the big reason to stay masked,” said Charlotte Baker, an epidemiologist in public health at Virginia Tech. Although cases are declining in the U.S., there is still plenty of COVID out there. Around 1,800 deaths continue to be announced most days.

“There is no need to feel embarrassed or apologetic for wearing a mask,” Rupp said. “In most communities in the United States today the level of transmission continues to be substantial. … It’s headed in the right direction, but there is still a lot of COVID that is being transmitted in our communities.”

2. Understand that wearing a mask for your job doesn’t have to be ‘always’ or ‘never.’

Rupp said masking should not be seen as a choice between never wearing your mask at work or always having to wear a mask at work. You should be open to changing your mind depending on individual circumstances.

“You may feel safe and not wear a mask going into a setting where there is a lot of room and few people and a short duration of time,” Rupp said. “Whereas you might feel very uncomfortable making that same decision in a smaller, crowded setting that you are going to have to be present for an hour.”

Rupp cited your community’s virus transmission rates, your building’s indoor ventilation, your colleagues’ vaccination status, and your own health risks as factors to consider before taking off your mask. Here’s the CDC tracker for checking out your county’s transmission rates.

Be open to putting a mask back on as we learn more about the latest COVID developments, too. “Six weeks from now, or three months from now as a new variant starts to be described, they may decide, ‘You know it’s time for me to put the mask back on,’” Rupp said.

3. Remember that social awkwardness around masks is real, but it helps to remember your original reason for wearing one.

“Social pressure is very real. We can be talked out of anything if enough people dissent to our point of view,” said clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula.

She cited social psychologist Solomon Asch’s research on conformity, which found people were more likely to give a wrong answer when they heard other people give that wrong answer out of a motivation to avoid conflict.

Your decision to wear a mask is none of your colleague’s business. You don’t owe anyone an explanation of why you are masking indoors, but if sharing one helps you feel less awkward, keep it brief, Durvasula advised.

“Make it about yourself and don’t turn it into a polemic on public health and responsibility,“ she suggested. “If a person chooses to wear a mask that is their right, but it can turn difficult if the mask-wearer frames it as virtue.”

Whether you are doing so to protect the health of others or for your own personal risk tolerance, Durvasula advised not engaging too much about it in the workplace: “Don’t take the bait.”

Baker said if it makes you feel more comfortable, it’s alright to deflect to another topic if it comes up or “just be stern one time, and say, ‘Look I’m going to wear it, I don’t want to hear anything else about it. It has nothing to do with you.’”

Pep talks can also help when you feel peer pressure, too. Baker shared what she tells herself when she finds herself to be one of the only maskers in social settings.

I’m immunocompromised, so I tell myself I don’t want to die,” she said. “Two is: ‘I’m doing this for my family.’ I want to see my nieces, I want to see my nephews. I want them to grow up in a healthy world. If I wear my mask, I get to go see them. And I’m also setting a good example. And third is: ‘My mom is senior … and I need to keep myself healthy so I don’t get her sick.’”

Baker noted that for people who have become numb to pandemic risks, external motivations like a vacation or a concert you want to be healthy to go to can also help. “Whatever that motivator needs to be for you, figure out what it is. Write it down, so you see it,” she said.

Once you know your why, remind yourself of it when you want to waver from your original decision to wear a mask. And if you need an affirmation, take it from Rupp.

“Have the strength of your convictions and realize you may be the smartest person in the room,” he said.

Experts are still learning about COVID-19. The information in this story is what was known or available as of publication, but guidance can change as scientists discover more about the virus. Please check the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for the most updated recommendations.

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People Share The Hobbies That Changed Their Relationship With Work: ‘It Has Truly Been Mind Blowing’

You’re reading Life-Work Balance, a series aiming to redirect our total devotion to work into prioritising our personal lives.

You’ve had a long day at work, your muscles ache for sitting in the same position for too long, or your legs for standing too long, and you’re tired. All you want to do is eat a warm meal and slouch in front of the TV or laptop while you scroll your phone. And then repeat for the next four days.

Work can be draining – you’re required to carry out the same monotonous tasks daily, helping companies get richer, with little regard to own your wellbeing and happiness.

The only relief is the weekend, which is often reserved for refuelling, catching up with loved ones, or completing life admin.

But there are things we do throughout the week that reinvigorate us, make us feel alive and skilled, and happy. Those are hobbies.

While in the last decade, hobbies have taken a turn towards hustle culture – monetising our past-times so we can make more money – the pandemic has allowed us to rediscover the little things that have a big impact on us.

With working from home becoming an ordinary staple, we have more time than ever to cultivate social and personal activities.

We spoke to some people about the hobbies that are changing how they approach work culture.

Marcio Delgado, a London-based and influencer marketing manager, 41, says the pandemic has shifted how he organises his week.

“During lockdown I started to take my dogs for a one-hour walk right in the middle of the day to break the monotony. Although life is fairly back to normal in London now, I have not changed that,” he says.

“Before 2020 I would build my life around my working hours, basically blocking almost any time I possibly had between 9 to 6pm to attend the office and sit in front of a computer. Now that the world is a bit hybrid, I have inverted priorities and still able to work as much – or more – than before.”

Marco with his dogs Albie and Sam

Marco Delgado

Marco with his dogs Albie and Sam

For Rosie Thomas, an ADHD coach from Berlin, something people don’t often do as a hobby had a significant effect on her.

“Going to sauna regularly has changed my life,” she tells HuffPost.

“I was always against going to saunas because I tend to hate the heat, but in January I decided to try it out. I started going regularly and it has truly been mind blowing.

“I have ADHD so my mind is typically running about eight consecutive trains of thought (minimum). I’ve struggled with meditation, yoga, any form of silence. But the sauna enables me relax and think clearly.”

Not only does it help Thomas relax, the sauna is also useful for her work.

“I’ve come up with some amazing ideas for my business in the sauna, solved a couple of problems I was struggling with, and begun sleeping more deeply,” she says.

“Now, if I’ve got some bad brain fog or I’m feeling a bit low and I have time between my 1:1 coaching clients, I’ll go for a quick sauna session and truly come out feeling like a new person.”

Not a bad hobby to have

Rosie Thomas

Not a bad hobby to have

Similarly, Natalie Arney, 39, an SEO consultant from Brighton, has found multiple hobbies bringing life to her week.

Among crafty activities such as punch needle, scrapbooking, and cross stitch, one hobby stands out for Arney – choir.

“I have a couple of things I like to do, but the one that’s impacted me the most so far this year is joining a choir. I started in January this year and it has really helped me with work and my week,” she says.

“I go every Wednesday evening during term time, and this term we had a concert to get ready for. I absolutely love the choir because it gives me something to look forward to, and the community it has created is so supportive and caring.”

Natalie has chronic pain and choir has helped her mentally and physically

Natalie Arney

Natalie has chronic pain and choir has helped her mentally and physically

Choir practice also helps Arney in another area – getting out of the house.

“I struggle with my mental and physical health, and up until I joined choir, I didn’t do much outside of the house that wasn’t to do with work (I’m a freelancer, so it’s easy to lock myself away), but now, aside from going shopping or out for a meal, I’ve also got choir to go to,” she says.

“Singing also really helps you physically and mentally, including helping with breathing, posture and muscle tension, and releases neuro-chemicals too – which as a person who lives with chronic pain, I really benefit from!”

Hobbies are subjective – one person’s enjoyment might be another person’s idea of boredom – but no matter what brings someone happiness, hobbies and interests outside of work are the ultimate acts of resistance against capitalism.

They bring us pleasure without the expectation of procuring money or making us more marketable to recruiters.

So swim in the seas, pamper yourself in a sauna, curl up with a book in a local library, lift weights, knit, shoot hoops.

Whatever brings you joy.

HuffPost UK/ Isabella Carapella

Life-Work Balance questions the status quo of work culture, its mental and physical impacts, and radically reimagines how we can change it to work for us.

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Losing It: How To Unlearn Everything You’ve Been Taught About Sex

How much do you know about sex? And I mean really know about sex. For most of us, our sex education started and stopped with the birds and the bees. We were taught the biology of our bodies, how to make babies and if we were lucky the difference between STDs and STIs.

Since our knowledge around sex has been so limited, the internet has been our sex ed teacher, which often has more cons than pros. This is what Sophia Smith Galer touches on in her new book, Losing It.

Drawing on some of her own experiences around sex ed, ‘Losing It’ explores the way we’ve been taught about sex in the 21st century and how this affects how we engage with intimacy.

“I didn’t have a comprehensive sex education,” Galer tells HuffPost UK. “I did have sex education at school. But the things that left a mark on me were, as I described in the book, the focus on ‘bugs and babies.’ So the avoidance of STIs and the avoidance of pregnancy.”

She believes the information she was taught about sex didn’t set her up well enough to deal with real life sexual scenarios. “My sex education could have definitely been a lot better. And what I really argue in the book is that I ended up leaving school endorsing a number of myths about the body because of things I’d heard.”

Author and journalist Sophia Smith Galer and her new book, Losing It.

Brian Prentke

Author and journalist Sophia Smith Galer and her new book, Losing It.

There were multiple reasons why Galer wanted to write the book, but one them was linked to her previous role as BBC religion reporter. “Time and time again, sex and relationships would continue cropping up in stories I wrote about young people and young women,” she says.

Though she isn’t currently practicing, she was raised catholic. “Our world views and our perspectives are either informed by a religion we believe in or it’s influenced a society that we live in – and with sex there’s a lot of collision.”

This is something that she further analyses in the book, under a chapter called ‘The Virginity Myth’, which looks at the role Christianity has played in sex education.

Through her research, Galer found that there are some states in America where the sex education curriculum focusses solely on abstinence.

She spoke to a young woman called Blair, who grew up in a southern baptist community. Blair touches on how she latched onto purity culture because she wanted to please God, but it ended up making her mentally ill. She recalls the first time she made out with a guy, saying she took the morning after pill as she thought she would get pregnant.

What really threw me was how much of this educational resource also exists in the UK,” says Galer. “In the book there are a number of stories about people being given quite purity culture messaging in British schools.

“There is research that has been commissioned by the highest powers in the land that have found abstinence-only education does not work. Not only does it not work, it can be actively harmful. It can do things like contribute to sexist values, or it can reaffirm sexist values.”

So, how can we unlearn what we’ve been taught about sex?

As her knowledge of sex after school was basic, Galer explains that she taught herself the need-to-know info through reading. “That’s how I’ve always found out about stuff as a young person. I would go on the internet and look things up,” she says.

“That is fraught with danger as much as it is good, reliable information. For me, I learnt through reading and podcast listening. It’s kind of been quite private information acquisition, on top of my own experiences with partners.”

When asked where young (or older) people can safely learn about sex online, Galer says sexual health charities and reliable national websites.

“Most sexual health charities that are smart and support young people have pretty good Instagram pages where they do a lot of debunking myths and sharing information and Instagram infographics, which is really good,” she says.

The book touches on issues such as virginity as a concept, the obsession with hymens, tightness, penetration and consent.

On the latter, she writes: “There are many occasions in my sexual biography where I gave my consent at the time but the details suddenly and dramatically changed – like when a partner disclosed he’d lied about his age, or was breaking up with me, during or after sexual contact.”

Galer tells HuffPost the chapter on consent was the quite hard to write, because it made her reflect on some of her own experiences.

“It made me think deeply about bad ethics of sex,” she says.

I think we don’t talk enough about coercion. What is a coercive act? I think it’s quite helpful to adopt that vocabulary when we talk about consent, because we’re often too limiting. We just restrict it to something being consensual or non consensual.”

Though difficult, if you truly want to unlearn what you’ve been taught about sex and overcome any misplaced shame, Galer believes it’s important to introspect.

“If you want to unlearn sex myths you’re going to have to be ready to possibly rewrite your own sexual biography as it may make you think differently about things that happened in the past,” she says.

Even though some themes on the pages are quite dark, Galer wants the book to highlight how important it is to prioritise information around sex and the body in the world we live in.

“What I find in the book is that so many of us don’t get that access to sex education and sex myths pave the way to so many harms,” she says. “I want people to know that sex is not a sex issue. I want people leaving this book to think it’s a political, socioeconomic, health and human rights issue.”

Losing It: Sex Education for the 21st Century by Sophia Smith Galer is out now.

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