New findings from the University of Cambridge suggest that menopause is associated with changes in brain structure, along with higher levels of anxiety, depression, and sleep difficulties. Researchers found reduced grey matter volume in several important brain regions among women who had gone through menopause.
The study, published in Psychological Medicine, also examined the effects of hormone replacement therapy (HRT). While HRT did not appear to prevent these brain or mental health changes, it was associated with a slower decline in reaction speed.
Understanding Menopause and Its Symptoms
Menopause marks the stage of life when a woman’s menstrual periods permanently stop due to declining hormone levels. It most commonly occurs between ages 45 and 55 and is often accompanied by symptoms such as hot flushes, low mood, and disrupted sleep. Previous research has also linked menopause to changes in cognitive abilities, including memory, attention, and language.
To help manage menopause related symptoms, particularly depression and sleep problems, many women are prescribed HRT. In England, 15% of women were prescribed HRT in 2023. Despite its widespread use, scientists still have limited insight into how menopause and HRT affect the brain, thinking skills, and mental health.
A Large Study Using UK Biobank Data
To better understand these effects, researchers analyzed data from the UK Biobank involving nearly 125,000 women. Participants were divided into three groups: women who had not yet reached menopause, women who were post-menopause and had never used HRT, and women who were post-menopause and had used HRT.
Participants completed questionnaires about menopause symptoms, mental health, sleep patterns, and overall health. Some also completed cognitive tests measuring memory and reaction time. In addition, around 11,000 women underwent magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans, which allowed researchers to examine differences in brain structure.
The average age at menopause among participants was about 49.5 years. Women who were prescribed HRT typically began treatment at around age 49.
Anxiety Depression and Sleep After Menopause
Women who had gone through menopause were more likely than those who had not to seek help from a GP or psychiatrist for anxiety, nervousness, or depression. They also scored higher on depression questionnaires and were more likely to have been prescribed antidepressant medications.
Women in the HRT group showed higher levels of anxiety and depression compared with women who did not use HRT. However, further analysis revealed that these differences were already present before menopause began. According to the researchers, this suggests that some GPs may have prescribed HRT in anticipation that menopause could worsen existing symptoms.
Sleep problems were also more common after menopause. Post-menopausal women were more likely to report insomnia, reduced sleep, and ongoing tiredness. Women using HRT reported feeling the most fatigued of all three groups, even though their total sleep duration did not differ from post-menopausal women who were not taking HRT.
The Importance of Lifestyle and Mental Health Support
Dr. Christelle Langley from the Department of Psychiatry said: “Most women will go through menopause, and it can be a life-changing event, whether they take HRT or not. A healthy lifestyle — exercising, keeping active and eating a healthy diet, for example — is particularly important during this period to help mitigate some of its effects.
“We all need to be more sensitive to not only the physical, but also the mental health of women during menopause, however, and recognize when they are struggling. There should be no embarrassment in letting others know what you’re going through and asking for help.”
Reaction Time Slows While Memory Remains Stable
Menopause was also linked to changes in cognitive performance. Women who were post-menopause and not using HRT showed slower reaction times compared with women who had not yet reached menopause and those who were using HRT. Memory performance did not differ significantly among the three groups.
Dr. Katharina Zühlsdorff from the Department of Psychology at the University of Cambridge, said: “As we age, our reaction times tend to get slower — it’s just a part of the natural ageing process and it happens to both women and men. You can imagine being asked a question at a quiz — while you might still arrive at the correct answer as your younger self, younger people would no doubt get there much faster. Menopause seems to accelerate this process, but HRT appears to put the brakes on, slowing the ageing process slightly.”
Grey Matter Loss in Brain Regions Linked to Memory and Emotion
Brain imaging revealed that women who were post-menopause showed significant reductions in grey matter volume, regardless of whether they had used HRT. Grey matter contains nerve cell bodies and plays a key role in processing information, controlling movement, and supporting memory and emotional regulation.
The most affected areas included the hippocampus (responsible for forming and storing memories), the entorhinal cortex (the ‘gateway’ for passing information between the hippocampus and the rest of the brain), and the anterior cingulate cortex (part of the brain that helps you manage emotions, make decisions, and focus your attention).
Possible Clues to Dementia Risk in Women
Professor Barbara Sahakian, the study’s senior author from the Department of Psychiatry, added: “The brain regions where we saw these differences are ones that tend to be affected by Alzheimer’s disease. Menopause could make these women vulnerable further down the line. While not the whole story, it may help explain why we see almost twice as many cases of dementia in women than in men.”
Before the Environmental Protection Agency was formed in 1970, lead pollution was a routine part of daily life across the United States. It came from factories, lead-based paint, drinking water pipes, and most of all from vehicle exhaust. Lead is a toxic metal that builds up in the body over time and has been linked to learning and developmental problems in children. As environmental rules tightened in the decades that followed, lead in the environment dropped sharply, and human exposure declined with it.
The evidence for that change can still be found today.
It is embedded in human hair.
Hair Samples Trace Lead Exposure Back to 1916
Scientists at the University of Utah analyzed hair samples and discovered steep declines in lead levels going back more than a century. Their results show a clear downward trend beginning after environmental regulations were introduced.
“We were able to show through our hair samples what the lead concentrations are before and after the establishment of regulations by the EPA,” said demographer Ken Smith, a distinguished professor emeritus of family and consumer studies. “We have hair samples spanning about 100 years. And back when the regulations were absent, the lead levels were about 100 times higher than they are after the regulations.”
A Metal That Was Useful and Dangerous
The study, published in PNAS, highlights how environmental protections have shaped public health outcomes. It also points out that some lead regulations are now being weakened by the Trump administration as part of a broader effort to loosen environmental safeguards.
“We should not forget the lessons of history. And the lesson is those regulations have been very important,” said co-author Thure Cerling, a distinguished professor of both geology and biology. “Sometimes they seem onerous and mean that industry can’t do exactly what they’d like to do when they want to do it or as quickly as they want to do it. But it’s had really, really positive effects.”
Lead is the heaviest of the heavy metals and, like mercury and arsenic, it accumulates in living tissue and is harmful even at low concentrations. Despite these risks, it was widely used for decades because of its practical advantages. Lead was commonly used in pipes and added to paint to improve durability, speed drying, and create brighter colors. It was also blended into gasoline to improve engine performance by preventing pistons from “knocking.”
By the 1970s, the health dangers were well established, prompting the EPA to begin removing lead from paint, plumbing materials, gasoline, and other consumer products.
How Family Keepsakes Became Scientific Evidence
To find out whether these policy changes truly reduced lead exposure in people, Smith worked with geologist Diego Fernandez and Cerling. Fernandez and Cerling had developed methods to determine where animals lived and what they ate by analyzing the chemistry of hair and teeth.
The lead study grew out of earlier research funded by the university’s Center on Aging and the National Institutes of Health. That earlier work involved Utah residents who agreed to provide blood samples along with detailed family health information.
For the new research, participants were asked to submit hair samples from adulthood and from earlier in life. Some went a step further, locating hair preserved in family scrapbooks that dated back as much as a century. Altogether, the team collected hair from 48 individuals, creating a valuable record of lead exposure along Utah’s Wasatch Front, an area that once faced heavy industrial pollution.
“The Utah part of this is so interesting because of the way people keep track of their family history. I don’t know that you could do this in New York or Florida,” said Smith, who led the U’s Pedigree and Population Program at the Huntsman Cancer Center while the studies were underway.
Much of this region supported a major smelting industry throughout the 20th century, particularly in Midvale and Murray. Most of Utah’s smelters closed by the 1970s, around the same time the EPA began enforcing stricter limits on lead use.
Why Hair Preserves Lead So Well
The researchers analyzed the samples using mass spectrometry equipment at a facility overseen by Fernandez.
“The surface of the hair is special. We can tell that some elements get concentrated and accumulated in the surface. Lead is one of those. That makes it easier because lead is not lost over time,” said Fernandez, a research professor in the Department of Geology & Geophysics. “Because mass spectrometry is very sensitive, we can do it with one hair strand, though we cannot tell where the lead is in the hair. It’s probably in the surface mostly, but it could be also coming from the blood if that hair was synthesized when there was high lead in the blood.”
While blood tests offer a more precise snapshot of exposure at a specific moment, hair is far easier to collect and preserve. More importantly, it provides insight into past exposure for people who are now older or no longer alive.
“It doesn’t really record that internal blood concentration that your brain is seeing, but it tells you about that overall environmental exposure,” Cerling said. “One of the things that we found is that hair records that original value, but then the longer the hair has been exposed to the environment, the higher the lead concentrations are.”
Leaded Gasoline Left a Clear Chemical Record
The decline in lead found in hair closely mirrors the reduction of lead in gasoline after the EPA was created under President Richard Nixon.
Before 1970, gasoline typically contained about 2 grams of lead per gallon. Although that amount may seem small, the scale of fuel consumption made it significant. With billions of gallons burned each year, this resulted in nearly 2 pounds of lead entering the environment per person annually.
“It’s an enormous amount of lead that’s being put into the environment and quite locally,” Cerling said. “It’s just coming out of the tailpipe, goes up in the air and then it comes down. It’s in the air for a number of days, especially during the inversions that we have and it absorbs into your hair, you breathe it and it goes into your lungs.”
After the 1970s, even as gasoline use continued to rise in the United States, lead levels measured in hair fell sharply. Concentrations dropped from as high as 100 parts per million (ppm) to about 10 ppm by 1990. By 2024, average levels had fallen to less than 1 ppm.
The study, titled “Lead in archived hair documents decline in human lead (Pb) exposure since establishment of the US Environmental Protection Agency,” was published in PNAS, or Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Support came from the Huntsman Cancer Foundation and the National Cancer Institute through a grant to the Utah Population Database and the University of Utah.
There’s a seemingly endless array of quippy terms to describe rising travel trends and preferences.
One particularly interesting term is “inheritourism”, which really gets to the heart of why different individuals travel the way that they do and how family plays a role.
Below, travel experts break down the meaning of “inheritourism”, as well as the benefits and drawbacks of this holiday phenomenon.
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What is ‘inheritourism’?
“Inheritourism reflects how travel preferences are passed down across generations,” said Jess Petitt, senior vice president or strategy, insights and full service brands at Hilton.
“Many people inherit travel preferences from their parents, with family experiences often shaping how people travel well into adulthood.”
A 2026 travel report from Hilton identified “inheritourism” as a notable trend for the new year – with 66% of travellers surveyed by the hotel brand saying that their parents have influenced their choice of accommodations, 60% saying they guided their choice of loyalty programs and 73% saying they shaped their general travel style.
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“I think inheritourism shows up most clearly in how people define what ‘comfortable’ travel looks like,” said travel blogger Esther Susag. “Many travellers inherit not just destinations, but entire travel styles from their parents. For example, I often notice that people who grew up only doing cruises or all-inclusive resorts tend to gravitate back to those formats as adults.”
Travellers accustomed to the ease of having everything in one place might be more hesitant to go off the beaten path with independent accommodations, hidden gem destinations or locations that require more planning or cultural navigation.
“That same pattern extends into how people pay for travel,” Susag said. “I’ve noticed that travellers whose parents used travel credit cards and understood points and miles tend to feel much more comfortable navigating loyalty programs and booking elevated experiences. On the other hand, people who grew up saving for years for one big trip and paying mostly in cash or with a single credit card often carry that same cautious mindset forward and are hesitant to open multiple cards or experiment with points strategies.”
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She added that many parents remain deeply involved in their adult children’s travel decisions, often financing trips with their own loyalty points or preferred brands. Multigenerational travel is increasingly popular, thus exposing new generations to the same kinds of choices.
“Over time, that becomes their baseline for what travel ‘should’ look like,” Susag said. “As travel has become more expensive and more intentional, people are less willing to experiment and more likely to stick with what they know works. That often means repeating the travel patterns they grew up with, whether that’s specific destinations, hotel brands or trip formats.”
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It’s only natural that people who grew up vacationing in a certain way as children would adopt similar travel behaviors as adults.
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It’s only natural that people who grew up travelling in a certain way as children would adopt similar preferences. Katy Nastro, a spokesperson and travel expert for the flight alert service Going, pointed to the cliché “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”.
“I personally grew up going to warm beach destinations to escape the New York winter every February,” Nastro said. “I wholeheartedly believe that the desire for a warmer weather destination during the month of February versus a cold weather trip is not just a preference but is now a personality trait inherited from my family travels as a child.”
She believes the same pattern is evident in the families attracted to “the magic of Disney” with Disney theme parks vacations over multiple generations. Our early memories can inform what we find meaningful and rewarding as we grow up.
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“My family chooses the mountains over the beach always, because it’s where I grew up vacationing – and if you ask me, it’s just better,” Petitt said. “Those experiences are also what I’m excited to share with my kids, building on those memories. If we never visit a beach as a family, that would be OK by me.”
Family travel habits strongly influence people’s choices – but is that a good thing?
“Any travel is beneficial in my opinion,” Nastro said. “And in theory, inheritourism can create generational travel because people are inclined to continue the tradition of travel to a certain place, hotel, etc. The only downside may be that this perpetuates a blinder affect where people don’t tend to branch away from what they know, and thus never really explore beyond their comfort zone.”
She added that inheritourism might lead people to miss out on good deals if they can’t look beyond the specific brands or locations they’ve “inherited”.
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“Travellers may avoid less popular destinations or more immersive experiences because they feel less predictable or convenient,” Susag said. “That said, awareness is growing, and many people are starting to challenge those habits once they realise there are other ways to travel that still feel safe and rewarding.”
Overall, she sees a mix of downsides and benefits to the influence of inheritourism today.
“On the positive side, inheritourism makes travel more accessible and lowers the barrier to entry for a lot of people,” Susag said. “It also encourages multigenerational travel and shared experiences, which can be incredibly meaningful.”
Inheritourism can serve as “a foundation, rather than a fixed path,” she emphasised. Travellers can carry forward meaningful traditions but also cultivate their own.
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“People tend to start by recreating the trips and habits they grew up with, then adapt them as their confidence grows and their priorities shift,” Susag said. “Whether that means exploring less traditional destinations, traveling more independently or becoming more intentional about how they spend on travel, many travellers eventually build on what they inherited rather than abandoning it altogether.”
As in other areas of life, parents tend to set the norms and serve as trusted sources for young adults as they make decisions.
“In a world of digital overwhelm and an abundance of choice, travellers are looking to their inner circle to inform their travel decisions,” Petitt said.
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“When seeking an experience beyond what is familiar, inherited preferences and trusted travel habits serve as a starting point for discovering something new. The key is balance – while inheritourism offers comfort and confidence, the greatest benefit comes when those familiar influences open the door to exploration, rather than limit it.”
Whether it happens on your postprandial fart walk, right in the middle of yoga class or while you’re sleeping, everyone — even the poshest among us — farts.
According to Dr. Satish Rao,professor of Medicine at Augusta University’s Medical College of Georgia, the average person farts seven to 24 times a day.
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“It’s a normal physiological phenomenon,” he said, explaining flatulence as the byproduct of fermentation in the colon.
That fermentation creates gas, which is a mixture of nitrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide, methane, hydrogen and more. One surprisingly smelly fact is that more than 99% of farts are odourless, but a foul smell comes from trace sulphur compounds. Unfortunately, our noses are extremely good at detecting sulphur, even in microscopic amounts.
Once that gas is formed, Rao said there are only two options for it to escape. “Some gas will move from the lining of the colon to the bloodstream, then get exhaled by the breath,” he said. “But the other pathway out is the fart. The gas will find its way out eventually, and if you produce a lot of gas too quickly, it won’t be absorbed, but will automatically push its way out through the anus.”
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In general, a few farts a day are nothing to worry about, said Dr. Cait Welsh, postdoctoral researcher from Monash University and the Hudson Institute of Medical Research. “Most of the time, the release of gas is a healthy sign that digestion and gut microbiota are happy and functioning well.”
While you produce gas all day long, you’re more likely to let ’em rip during sleep, when your anal sphincter relaxes and gas escapes more easily.
Which People Are The Gassiest?
It might be hard to think of King Charles or the Pope as real toot machines, but Rao is positive that anyone who eats food, especially carbohydrates, is going to fart at least some time during each day. And some of us are certainly more, um, productive than others, said Dr. Folasade P. May, associate professor of Medicine at University of California Los Angeles.
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“People who chew a lot of gum, drink carbonated drinks or eat too quickly may swallow more air, for example, which can cause flatulence,” she said. “Other people have gut bacteria that produce more gas. Diet, how fast you digest, and medications can also change how much gas you make and pass.”
If you’re thinking that President Donald Trump is making you fart more, you might be right. (Fun fact: An old Australian slang word for a fart is a “trump.”) Stress or anxiety, about the current political climate or matters closer to home, can have an impact on how much someone farts, May said.
“Especially in people with irritable bowel syndrome or other functional gut disorders, stress can change how fast we eat and digest, making flatulence seem worse,” May explained.
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Stress can increase your flatulence, according to gastro doctors.
Foods That Can Up Your Fart Count
Dr. Ed Giles, a pediatric gastroenterologist and associate professor of pediatrics at Monash University, noted that the most well-known foods to cause gas are the so-called FODMAP foods, an acronym for Fermentable Oligosaccharides, Disaccharides, Monosaccharides and Polyols.
The key term for these carbohydrates, Giles said, is “fermentable.” That means the foods have an ability to produce gas. “They feed the bacteria in the gut and the bacteria produce the gas, including methane, which smells,” he said.
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May outlined some of the worst FODMAP culprits: beans, lentils, onions, garlic, crucifers like broccoli and cabbage, and some whole grains and fruits. “If you’re lactose intolerant, consuming dairy can also increase gas production,” she said.
When To Be Concerned
Gas is concerning when it’s painful, disruptive or different from your normal pattern. If you’re regularly releasing gas more than 23 or 24 times a day and it’s causing problems, it’s worth investigating. However, some people may experience more flatulence than that and it’s still considered normal; it all depends on your diet and your personal health factors.
“The most important thing is that if excessive flatulence is persistent or accompanied by pain, weight loss, diarrhea or blood in the stool, it’s worth consulting a clinician for evaluation,” May said. “If gas is persistent or accompanied by these other warning signs, a clinician can help sort out causes.”
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Some of the conditions a health care professional will want to rule out include celiac disease, inflammatory bowel disease, irritable bowel syndrome, lactose or other food intolerances, pancreatic enzyme insufficiency and small intestinal bacterial overgrowth. Connective tissue disorders like Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and other diseases like multiple sclerosis also come with increased flatulence.
You might be asked to keep a food journal and, yes, even count the number of farts you produce each day. Luckily, there are now several apps to help you do this, including Gaslog, FlareCare, Gutly and Vitalis. These apps aren’t medical diagnostic tools, but might help you spot patterns in how your diet and lifestyle contribute to gas symptoms.
And just keep in mind that everyone — every single one of us — has experienced an ill-timed fart, and lived to tell the tale. So unless your gas comes with pain or surprises, you’re probably just doing what everyone else is doing, too.
Susannah turned to her husband, Ron, mouth agape. He looked down, his cheeks reddening.
“It was right after college. I was experimenting,” he mumbled, twisting in his seat. “No big deal.”
As a couples therapist, I am always looking for how to mend the frayed edges of a relationship, but Susannah and Ron were different: they had come to my office to end their marriage.
I practice what I call breakup therapy — a short-term treatment I developed for couples who want to end their relationships without bitterness.
The premise is counterintuitive: instead of looking forward toward separate futures, we look backward at the relationship itself. It’s structured to look at the beginning, middle and end of their time together with exercises that focus on both their gratitude as well as their resentment.
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The work culminates with the couple crafting a shared narrative about their union and literally writing it down – a story of what worked and ultimately what did not. Then, I ask them to sign it. In this way, they resolve the many unanswered, and often unasked, questions that can trap couples in recriminations and keep them from moving on.
The idea was born from my own bitter divorce. After my split, I was plagued by questions that repeated on an endless loop in my brain: “What was I thinking?”; “Why didn’t I see that red flag?”; “What is wrong with me – I’m a therapist and I should have seen what was happening.”
Then, one day, my therapist asked me a different question: who was I when I decided to marry? Suddenly, my internal feedback loop stopped.
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“You’re asking me who I was, not why I married him?” I said, skeptically.
“Yes, I am,” she answered. “Marriages can be as much about identity as they are about a union. What were you trying to solve — or avoid — by marrying him?”
The question unlocked something for me. I’d been full of anger at myself, but I hadn’t really taken responsibility for my own actions. With her help, I crafted a story that I could hold onto about what function the marriage had served for me. Truly owning my choices helped me have more compassion for myself and less anger. The most startling realisation? When I had created a story that hung together, the nagging questions ended for good.
I have seen this same process unfold for many couples. But often, in the course of these sessions, new things surface.
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“Susannah?” I said, surprised to hear the hurt in her voice. “This feels like a big deal for you. Why is that?”
Ron and Susannah had not been the most willing subjects for breakup therapy. During our first session, Ron blurted out: “You’re like a medical examiner doing autopsies on dead relationships! Your scalpel hurts. I don’t think you know what it feels like to be humiliated.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” I answered softly. “I have a teenager.”
Ron was not mollified.
“This feels stupid,” he said on another occasion. “She’s done, I accept that. What is there to say? This feels like horseshit.”
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“See what I’m working with here?” Susannah said, throwing up her hands and shifting away from Ron on the couch. “I knew he wouldn’t take this seriously.”
“No, he’s right,” I said. “If it’s really true that you fully accept and understand her decision, Ron, then this is horseshit. But is that true?”
His silence was all the answer I needed.
Over the next few sessions, we went over how they’d fallen in love (“It just made sense, we fit”); the birth of their three children (“The unit held us together”); the unraveling of their connection (“We were ships in the night for as long as I can remember, but then one day I woke up and just wanted more from life”).
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We mapped the patterns their marriage had fallen into over the course of three houses, two cross-country moves and their children’s exodus from home. It was a saga spanning decades.
Then, in our fourth session, Ron mentioned the sex tape.
“Something about this is landing hard on you,” I said to Susannah, her mouth still ajar. “Why?”
“Yeah, why?” Ron echoed.
Susannah paused and looked out the window.
“It’s that you … you tried something that – I don’t know – was out there … bold and different.”
A tear welled in a corner of her eye.
“It’s not you. You’re not brave! Or, at least you haven’t been with me, not in all these years together.”
Then she began to cry. Ron and I looked at one another.
“Susannah?” Instantly, I regretted breaking the silence.
“All this time, I decided you just couldn’t try new things,” she managed after a while. “I gave up.”
Ron put up his palms. “What is happening?” he said, exasperated.
“But if you can do that …” she continued. “What was it? Did I just not ask? Did I build my life around a lie?” She looked lost. “Was it that you never really loved me enough?”
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She turned back to Ron and banged her fist on the couch.
“I did ask! I asked you to look at porn together when we stopped having sex, to take classes with me, to go on that whale-watching tour. … You just ignored me!”
This time, I held my tongue.
“Is that a thing?” she went on, turning to me. “That you can reach the end of a relationship and not even have known what was possible?”
“I made that tape 30 years ago,” Ron blurted out. “She’s upset over something I did when I was a totally different person!”
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This was the impasse that I had expected, that arrives in most of my breakup therapy work – the moment when two people realise that as well as they think they know each other, there are things they don’t know or have lost track of. It’s my job to help them hold that bitter realisation. Then it’s my job to help them arrive at forgiveness or some kind of reconciliation – if not with each other, then with what happened to them.
“It was 30 years ago, Ron,” I said. “But you aren’t a different person. You’re the same person, and she’s wondering why you couldn’t have been that with her.”
I turned to Susannah and said, “You have a right to be hurt, but were you truly honest with him? Did you give him the space and the safety and the encouragement to be that person? Do you think you both can forgive each other for what you weren’t?”
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It was three weeks before they appeared again in my office, having canceled two sessions in between appointments.
“I was stirred and moved by what happened here last time,” Susannah began. “When we left, I thought: Maybe there’s enough left between us?”
Ron’s eyes were downcast.
“But I realised I can’t,” she said. “I just can’t open up that part of me with him anymore. I want … I need this divorce.”
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I nodded. “Ron? How do you feel?”
“I can see where we are … I’m not fighting it.” His voice broke. “I’m just really sad.”
Often it requires some kind of shock to break through the built-up layers of anger, resentment and disappointment in a couple in order to illuminate the cracks in their relationship – something true that has been avoided or left unsaid. In this case, it was the surprise of an ancient transgressive act that lay bare how little they knew each other and how misaligned they’d become.
Susannah moved closer to Ron on the couch and laced her fingers with his.
“You guys seem calmer – closer. Tell me what you are feeling,” I said.
I knew something about that calm after the storm. After my own divorce, we had maintained an uneasy truce for years, until one long car ride after dropping our daughter at camp. As we rode in silence, I suddenly remembered my therapist’s question: Who was I when I decided to get married? For the next two hours, we talked over that question and everything else, and together realised how lonely we had been — two Israelis who, instead of understanding why we had both chosen to leave, had clung to each other and to a shared language. Before long, we were laughing as we had not laughed since the early days of our marriage.
“So, where do we go from here?” Ron asked me in their last session.
“Well, in my experience, when a marriage ends, a different relationship can sometimes be created,” I said. “That’s up to you guys. All endings are sad, but not all endings have to leave you broken. There’s an opportunity here to get to know each other in a different way. And …” I leaned forward to make eye contact with each of them “… to know yourselves better.”
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After they left, I sat quietly in my chair for a while. I allowed myself to remember that moment in my therapist’s office when I realised that I had been using my marriage to escape a question I had been avoiding and what a relief it had been to finally face it.
When a sex tape from decades ago unlocks two people’s grief, it’s not so much about the end of the road as it is about the roads never taken – the versions of a marriage they never tried. It is a sad moment, but also a generative one.
They’d come to me to bury their marriage. What they found instead was a way to know each other – maybe for the first time in years – even as they said goodbye.
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Note: Names and some details have been changed to protect the identities of the individuals appearing in this essay.
Sarah Gundle, Psy.D., is a psychologist in private practice and an assistant professor at the Icahn School of Medicine, Mount Sinai Medical Center. She is currently writing a book about breakups. You can find her on Instagram @dear_dr_sarah.
Keir Starmer’s premiership is hanging by a thread this weekend as new details about Peter Mandelson’s friendship with the convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein continue to drip into the public consciousness.
When the prime minister sackedMandelson as the UK’s ambassador to Washington over his Epstein ties in September, he must have hoped the scandal was dealt with. The events of the past week show how wrong he was.
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The latest chapter in the saga was triggered by the US Department of Justice publishing more than three million documents on the late sex offender and his connections to the rich and powerful.
The files revealed that Mandelson was even more entwined with the disgraced financier than previously assumed – putting Starmer’s judgement in appointing him to the plum diplomatic role into sharp focus.
Amid mounting anger from the public and his own MPs, the prime minister ended up apologising on Thursday for ever believing Mandelson’s “lies”.
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Here’s a breakdown of how we got to this point – and what might happen next.
Who Is Peter Mandelson?
Mandelson has been in Labour circles for decades, often referred to as the “Prince of Darkness” because of his ruthless nature, capacity for scandals and love of political intrigue.
He worked as the director of communications to then-party leader Neil Kinnock in the 1980s before being elected as the Labour MP for Hartlepool in 1992.
A key architect of the New Labour project, he helped Tony Blair win the party leadership in 1994 and ran Labour’s successful general election campaign in 1997.
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Blair rewarded Mandelson with the post of minister without portfolio, a roving commission which gave him enormous power over the government machine.
However, the personal frailties – and the attraction to money – which would later bring about his downfall led to his resignation after barely a year when he failed to declare a loan from a cabinet colleague whose business dealings Mandelson’s own department was investigating.
After a year on the backbenches licking his wounds, Blair brought him back into the cabinet as Northern Ireland secretary the following year, at the time a key role as the peace process faltered.
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But once again, barely a year later, Mandelson was forced to resign, this time for lying about his role in brokering a British passport for a wealthy donor to the Millennium Dome project.
After famously declaring he was “a fighter, not a quitter” when retaining his Hartlepool seat in 2001, Mandelson stood down as an MP in 2004 to become a European trade commissioner, a post he held until he made another dramatic political comeback in 2008.
Gordon Brown, who had succeeded Blair the previous year, stunned Westminster by making Mandelson – his New Labour nemesis – a life peer and appointing him business secretary and de facto deputy prime minister.
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He finally left frontline politics, apparently for good, when Labour lost the 2010 general election.
Ex-Prime Minister and Labour Party leader, Gordon Brown, right, and then-Business Secretary Peter Mandelson react as they speak to the media about economy in a press conference in London, Monday, April 19, 2010.
via Associated Press
How Did Mandelson Come Back Into Government?
Despite his complete lack of diplomatic experience, Mandelson was appointed the UK’s ambassador to Washington a year ago.
He quickly established a rapport with President Donald Trump and was a key figure in negotiations on a UK/US trade deal and technology partnership.
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Mandelson also helped to smooth over American concerns around the UK government’s decision to hand sovereignty over the strategically-important Chagos Islands to Mauritius.
His return to the heart of British politics was seen as a reward for his years of behind-the-scenes work with Morgan McSweeney – now Starmer’s chief of staff – to help return Labour to government.
McSweeney is known to have pushed the PM to give Mandelson the ambassador’s role, a judgement call which has intensified calls from Labour MPs for him to be sacked.
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What Was Mandelson’s Relationship To Epstein?
The nature of their friendship has come out in drips and drabs over the years. Here’s a breakdown of what is currently public knowledge – and when it was first revealed.
The report was commissioned to shed light on JPMorgan’s 15-year relationship with Epstein and refers to a range of meetings between the disgraced financier and Mandelson.
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The dossier also found Mandelson had stayed at Epstein’s lavish townhouse in Manhatten when he was the UK’s business secretary while the convicted criminal was in prison for soliciting underage sex from a minor.
In this image provided by the New York State Sex Offender Registry, Jeffrey Epstein has his photo taken March 28, 2017.
via Associated Press
February 2025
Mandelson was appointed as US ambassador in February last year, after going through routine due diligence and security vetting.
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When asked about his Epstein connection by the Financial Times’ George Parker during an extensive interview, the former Labour cabinet minister said: “I regret ever meeting him or being introduced to him by his partner Ghislaine Maxwell.”
Maxwell is currently in prison for recruiting and trafficking underaged girls for the financier.
Mandelson added: “I regret even more the hurt he caused to many young women.”
However, according to the FT report, “an icy chill” then descended during their conversation on the train, and Mandelson added: “I’m not going to go into this. It’s an FT obsession and frankly you can all fuck off. OK?”
When later asked about Mandelson’s language, the prime minister’s spokesperson told reporters: “The prime minister has made clear the expertise and the experience Lord Mandelson has in relation to becoming ambassador to the US.”
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September 2025
The seeds of Mandelson’s political demise were sown last autumn, when US lawmakers released a tranche of documemts relating to Epstein.
They included a “birthday book” which contained a message from Mandelson in which he described Epstein as his “best pal”.
But it was a further revelation, that Mandelson told Epstein in an email that “your friends stay with you and love you” even as he was facing child underage sex charges in 2008, that proved to be the final straw.
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Despite telling MPs that he had “confidence” in his ambassador, Starmer eventually sacked Mandelson, just seven months after appointing him.
“The emails show that the depth and extent of Peter Mandelson’s relationship with Jeffrey Epstein is materially different from that known at the time of his appointment,” the Foreign Office said.
President Donald Trump, left and former UK ambassador to the United States Peter Mandelson, in the Oval Office.
via Associated Press
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January 2026
Despite being sacked in disgrace, Mandelson appeared poised to make another remarkable comeback thanks to a series of high-profile media appearances at the start of this year.
They included an interview on Sunday with Laura Kuenssberg, the BBC’s flagship political programme.
However, he caused outrage when he failed to apologise to Epstein’s victims, saying only that he was sorry “for a system” which did not listen to victims’ voices.
After an angry backlash, Mandelson rowed back the following day, saying: “I did not want to be held responsible for his [Epstein’s] crimes of which I was ignorant, not indifferent, because of the lies he told me and so many others.
“I was wrong to believe him following his conviction and to continue my association with him afterwards. I apologise unequivocally for doing so to the women and girls who suffered.”
February 2026
A new tranche of documents from the US’s Department of Justice (DoJ) came out at the start of February and finally sealed Mandelson’s fate.
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They appeared to show he had accepted $75,000 from the disgraced financier between 2003 and 2004, though Mandelson has said he has no recollection of receiving those payments and did not know if the documents were genuine.
But amid mounting public anger, he announced he was quitting the Labour Party to avoid “further embarrassment” last Sunday.
The scandal has only intensified since then, with Mandelson now facing a criminal investigation over allegations he passed market sensitive information to Epstein when he was business secretary and the government was dealing with the aftermath of the global financial crash.
Other emails show Mandelson and Epstein sharing crude jokes when the latter was released from prison – an occasion described as “Liberation Day” by the peer.
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Mandelson announced last Tuesday that he was quitting the House of Lords, although it will require a special law to be passed to formally remove his title.
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In a self-pitying interview with The Times carried out before the latest revelations, he tried to portray himself as a victim over his sacking as US ambassador.
“It was like a 5.30am drive-by shooting,” he said. “I was at the edge of something. Suddenly, I was put at the centre of it — as a result of historical emails of which I have no memory and no record.”
Suggesting he still had a contribution to make to British politics, he said: “Hiding under a rock would be a disproportionate response to a handful of misguided historical emails, which I deeply regret sending.
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“If it hadn’t been for the emails, I’d still be in Washington. Emails sent all those years ago didn’t change the relationship that I had with this monster.
“I feel the same about the recent download of Epstein files, none of which indicate wrongdoing or misdemeanour on my part.”
What Happens Next?
After a Labour rebellion, the government has agreed to publish all documents relating Mandelson’s appointment as ambassador.
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It’s thought there could be close to 100,000 government files related to the former Labour peer.
The police inquiry into Mandelson is also likely to continue for months, if not years, drawing out the political pain for Starmer and his government.
Scotland Yard confirmed on Friday they are searching two properties in their investigation, but Mandelson has not been “arrested and enquiries are ongoing”.
What Does This Mean For Starmer?
Questions about Starmer’s judgment – which was already in doubt after a slew of government U-turns – have only intensified over the Mandelson scandal.
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While the PM says he was lied to by Mandelson, his critics say the warning signs were already there long before the decision was taken to send him to Washington.
Harriet Harman, for the former Labour deputy leader and a party loyalist, told the Electoral Dysfunction podcast: “He’s got to stop blaming Mandelson and saying ‘he lied to me’ because actually he should never have been considering him in the first place.
“And to say ‘he lied to me’ makes it look weak and naive and gullible. So it’s just completely the wrong thing.”
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She added: “If he doesn’t take the path which is necessary, yes, this will finish him off and that will be a tragedy for the government, a tragedy for the country and tragedy for Keir Starmer.”
Mutinous Labour MPs believe Morgan McSweeney’s sacking is a necessary first step in repairing the huge political damage caused by the Mandelson scandal.
However, questions about Starmer’s own future continue to swirl, and are only likely to intensify in the days ahead.
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One MP told HuffPost UK: “Taking refuge in constituency stuff this weekend seems appealing.
“But trying to pretend it’s all a bad dream for a few days won’t work, as constituents will be taking the chance to make very clear how they feel about Starmer and Mandelson and that’ll end up feeding into things back in parliament next week.”
While his rivals sharpen their knives, Starmer tried to win back public favour by issuing a frank apology on Thursday, telling Epstein’s victims he’s “sorry” for ever believing Mandelson.
Will it be enough to save him, or is this scandal going to bring him down?
I’m going to be honest: I find travelling with other people pretty draining.
There’s the compromise. There’s constantly being “on”. There’s the horrifying prospect of someone you love seeing you at your post-airport worst, and the nightmarish possibility of being expected to talk on a plane.
So I’ll admit I’m sympathetic with TikTok’s “solo honeymoon” trend, which cuts arguments, different itineraries, and “active vs resting” holiday discrepancies completely out of the question.
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Instead, “solo honeymooners” – often single people who are sick of waiting ’til they find a spouse to enjoy their dream honeymoon – are taking matters into their own hands.
Here, experts from TrustedHousesitters shared how to achieve the perfect one.
What is a “solo honeymoon”?
It’s basically booking a holiday by yourself, but the term seems to have helped some TikTokers to navigate the feelings and motives behind solo travel.
In one video, an app user said she’s calling her trip to Bali a solo honeymoon because “while I’m not married to a human being, I am kind of married to my work”.
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She decided to give herself a break after closing an important business project.
Yet another person said they were “travelling to a honeymoon destination as a very single person” because “you don’t have to wait until you’re in a relationship to go somewhere”.
He added, “I never thought I’d be here single, but here I am”.
Commenters often said they wish they’d felt OK doing something like that sooner. “I should’ve done this after I finished my master’s degree,” an app user wrote: “You have no idea how you have encouraged me to do let go of the fear and do this,” another stated.
And in response to a TikToker’s video about taking a safari trip for her “solo honeymoon,” a commenter wrote, “This was my honeymoon idea, and now I’m like F it I need to go.”
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How can I plan a “solo honeymoon”?
Trusted Housesitter advised people seeking a “solo honeymoon” to consider the following:
Checking flight times: “For those who love sitting back for a long time with a book, make the most of the solo flying time and travel long haul, but if you’re a little more on the nervous side, choose a shorter, familiar route to start your me-moon stress-free.”
Checking the area’s safety: “Make sure to research ahead and make sure where you head to has good contact points.”
Planning activities in advance: “Many activities are designed for couples or groups. So make sure you won’t face extra costs, and don’t be deterred if something is marketed primarily to pairs or groups; you can still participate and enjoy the experience.”
Not worrying about others’ expectations: “Plan activities that support your own well-being. Whether it’s spa treatments, meditation sessions, hiking, or simply time to read and reflect, tailor your itinerary around what makes you feel recharged and happy.”
Choosing accommodation carefully: “Think about the type of place you want to stay and whether it will enhance your self-care.”
