Tag Archives: Health

Upgrading the Healing Frame

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One thing that seemed to keep me stuck for quite a while when I was younger was the healing frame, i.e. layering a desired area of improvement with the perspective that I needed to “heal” something within myself.

The healing frame remains a popular way to frame various aspects of self-development, addiction recovery, human relationships, and more. It also carries some major downside baggage though, so it can bey very risky to use it, not just for yourself but for others you interact with.

How the Healing Frame Slows Us Down

With healing physical wounds, the body largely does that for us, so healing basically means waiting or resting or taking it easy, so the body can do the healing part. When we transplant this frame to something mental or emotional, it’s easy for the mind to link up with the association that we’re in waiting mode, which is a pretty passive stance. So in that sense it’s almost a frame of anti-investment, like we’re clinging to the pre-transformation state.

With physical healing we also have a pretty good idea of what the healed state looks like. For many injuries or conditions we can clearly see or feel the difference. The “solved” state is pretty crisp. The wound is closed up. The bone is mended. The sniffles are gone. Our energy is back up again. We’ve stopped coughing. The scans detect no more tumors. The COVID test is negative. So we have some good ways to measure progress when using this frame for physical ailments.

On the mental and emotional side, what does the healed state look like, especially if we feel we’re dealing with some pretty old trauma? I think many people who use the healing frame aren’t really clear about how to state the destination in a way that makes much sense, even to themselves. So it’s very easy for this frame of healing to become an endless quagmire of circular thinking. I think many would agree that they don’t see a clear path to the healed state, and I wonder how many realize that this endlessness is a predictable consequence of using the healing frame. You’ve entered a game world with no actual ending, and the only way to “finish” is to exit the game and stop using that frame.

It’s also pretty easy to use this frame to deflect investments or offers that could be rapidly transformational because the healing frame will likely make you feel skeptical of anything that seems too quick and easy. I think we tend to expect that inner healing must take a long time and that we just need to be patient and go slow. But in the real world, there are plenty of opportunities for inner shifts to come through quickly and effectively, just as some medical problems can be cured with ease today.

We tend not to frame the quick medical procedures as “healing” but rather as something else like a “procedure.” And when you think that inner healing is the answer, you can easily miss opportunities for simpler actions that could speed you along because they don’t align with the healing frame. But if a simple procedure would work even better than your slow-paced healing efforts, why not use it?

The Healing Frame Is Inaccurate

The more I read about neuroscience and how the brain works, the more the healing frame seems outdated. There are many ways for our brains/minds to improve, including ways to recover from major emotional trauma, but a neural network doesn’t really “heal,” unless perhaps you’re dealing with a physical injury to it. So this model doesn’t align so well with the realities of how our brains process experiences.

No matter which direction we bend the healing frame – emotional, mental, spiritual, social, etc – it carries significant drawbacks, except when we limit it to the realm in which it works well, which is physical repair. And if we do apply this frame just in the physical realm, we can even find other useful ways to apply it which can create positive mental and emotional ripples too, such as by leveraging detoxification and physical exercise to improve the health and resilience of our brain cells.

I like and appreciate the healing frame for its usefulness in the physical realm, but outside of that realm, I tend to think of it as pretty messed up and problematic, with a major risk of keeping one trapped for a long time.

Another very real risk of the healing frame is that it can be used manipulatively as well. When someone invites you to heal a relationship or to heal some part of you, take a step back and notice how you might be getting invited into a trap with a risk of giving your power away for someone else’s benefit for a considerable amount of time.

More Effective Frames to Use

Instead of using a healing frame and supposing that same part of my thoughts and feelings are wounded or damaged, which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense neurologically speaking, I find other ways of framing mental and emotional issues much more effective if I actually want to solve problems and release them.

One way to think of such problems is to see the brain as an input-output box. Like any neural network, the brain is trained on experience. For any sort of input, it will generate output. That output could be thoughts, feelings, words, actions, behaviors, etc.

So a “problem” can be defined as a situation where some form of input is creating undesirable output. Once I can admit that my brain isn’t behaving as I’d like, then I can clarify what output I’d like to see instead, giving similar input patterns. So if my brain is doing X, and I don’t want it to do X, then what do I want it to do instead?

This framing helps me step into a frame that gives me a solid grasp on a solution path, instead of trapping me in endless dialog with my inner child. I love talking to my inner child (and many other parts of myself), but for such dialog to be effective, we have to first get on the same page about what we’d like the overall mind to be doing.

Once I know what kind of output I’d like to see, I can leverage the brain’s strengths. It’s very good at learning from experience. That’s real-world external experience, not endless inner probing. So then I need to give my brain some fresh input of various forms to modify its training, such that I retrain its output patterns to get closer to the desired results.

Hence instead of using a healing frame, one significantly more effective frame is to use the frame that you’re retraining, retooling, or refactoring your brain’s outputs. If you want to steer this in a more spiritual direction, call it retraining your consciousness; it works just as well.

Retraining Habits

For instance, if I want to get up at 5am, and my brain is generating “sleep in” thoughts and feelings of tiredness, that’s an input-output mismatch. So then I would need to retrain my brain to generate different thoughts and feelings when the alarm goes off, including the behavior of getting up.

I don’t just want to force my groggy self out of bed when the alarm goes off. I want to awaken feeling well-rested, energized, motivated, and enthusiastic for the coming day. Note that I’m clearly defining the total output package I want to see.

Using this framing leads to much faster results than if I tried to “heal” my relationship with the pre-dawn hours or something like that.

Retraining Anxiety

Suppose I feel anxiety, fear, or some other negative emotion in a situation where I’d rather feel differently. Then I can retrain my brain through different kinds of experiences to create different output there too.

Many years ago I used to feel high anxiety, nervousness, and dread when I’d have to speak in front of an audience, even for days or weeks in advance if I knew it was coming up. My thoughts would dwell upon the pending doom, draining my mental resources. Instead of preparing well in advance, I’d procrastinate, which would just increase the stress levels.

Eventually I thought about the output I wanted, which was to feel relaxed, confident, and excited before speaking and to feel safe, comfortable, playful, trusting, connected, compassionate, and in the flow while speaking. I also wanted to feel well-prepared. And I wanted to feel that the audience and I were on the same side because we’d all benefit from a good outcome. That gave me something to train towards.

Action-wise this involved six years in Toastmasters and a variety of other speaking experiences that retrained my brain to create the desired output. I kept chipping away at the mental and emotional retraining by adding layers of small successes to teach my brain that public speaking could be fun and rewarding. Basically I gave my brain a lot of new experiences to learn from, so it could update its internal connections.

My childhood training in this area was dreadful in that it trained my brain to produce feelings of anxiety and pressure, as well as associations with grades and competition. I can blame my teachers and the school for that because they did a terrible job there, but I was still stuck with the after-effects. As an adult I was able to recognize this deficiency and responsibly retrain my brain to serve me well in this area instead of leaving the poorly trained model in place.

That was a resounding success, and now I love doing public speaking in a variety of forms. Instead of generating fear and dread, my brain now automatically generates very positive feelings when I do public speaking, as well as leading up to it. For instance, I very much enjoyed delivering The Octo Intensive 3-day workshop at the end of October.

While I can of course continue to make improvements, I’m delighted with the part of my neural network that now processes anything related to public speaking. It’s a highly functional part of my brain now, and I cherish what it does for me. Moreover, I appreciate it even more because I know what I had to invest to “train up” this part of my brain to work the way I wanted it to work.

Retraining Mental and Emotional Patterns

Now the retraining process can go in all sorts of different directions, and it can involve many of the same methods you might also apply with a healing frame. But in this case those methods are applied with a much crisper direction in mind. It’s easier to see real progress being made, and there’s a light at the end of the tunnel when you can call the transformation completed, which is basically when you’re getting the output you want to see from your own mind.

What exactly is your standard for measuring progress when you use the healing frame for mental and emotional issues? Do you measure progress by how many therapy sessions you’ve had? By how much you’ve paid for therapy? By how many journaling entries you’ve made? It’s really easy to mistake busywork for progress here. How much time you’ve invested doesn’t matter since that time can easily be wasted on activities that don’t move the needle forward.

If you’re going to use the healing frame, it’s important to clearly define the healed state. How is your brain output different in the healed state? What will you think, feel, and do differently? Are your healing investments clearly shifting your brain’s output patterns towards the healed state? Are you seeing obvious signs of progress in the span of a few weeks?

If I focused on healing my relationship with my inner child to reduce my nervousness with public speaking, I’d still need to get up and speak now and then to assess if those efforts are working. Do I feel less anxiety than before? Can I speak more easily this month than I could last month? If there are no signs of progress, then my healing efforts aren’t worth much. I’m basically just navel gazing and pretending that I’m getting somewhere.

How about healing your money wounds? Is that approach working if you step back and measure the results? Is your income going up? Is your net worth rising? Can you earn the same money you used to earn but in less time, with greater ease, with more fun, etc? Or are you just filling up journals with endless thoughts and feelings? What if you retrained your brain to generate abundance-producing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors? No healing is needed. It’s just money, not a broken bone.

Feed Your Brain the Experiences It Needs to Grow

While there are many ways to make progress towards changing your brain’s outputs, I think the simplest way is to give my brain the input, i.e. the direct experience, it needs to learn what I’d like it to learn.

This is a very flexible frame that helps point me towards actionable solutions.

For instance, when I wanted to retrain my brain to think and feel differently about human touch, I spent time connecting with non-judgmental, compassionate, touch-friendly people, so I could gain plenty of practice. I fed my brain enough positive experiences to shift its output patterns. That helped me transition from an affection-starved life into an affection-abundant one – and with a relationship partner who revels in the joy of touch as well.

When I’m going through a retraining process, I want to focus on positive experiences, meaning that I want experiences that teach my brain what I want it to learn. Consequently, if I want to feel good and safe with touch, I’m not going to practice with people who aren’t at least leaning in that direction themselves, and ideally it’s best if I engage with people who are already where I want to be mentally and emotionally.

I got better faster at public speaking by practicing with people who were way better at it than me – and who were super comfortable with it. Some of the people I trained with, and was trained by, had been speaking for decades. I recall having a 2.5-hour sit down talk with a guy who’d been on stages since he was 3 years old. His parents were skilled comedic performers, so he grew up in that world. Thanks to spending time with people like him, my brain tuned into more effective mindsets for thinking about public speaking. But I still needed to practice plenty, so my brain could really “get it” internally.

If I approached public speaking with a healing frame, I might have wasted years trauma-bonding with people who were just as anxious about it, or worse, and I don’t see how that would have helped much at all. In fact, that approach incurs the huge risk of strengthening the very patterns I want to retrain.

If I want to recover from some kind of trauma, it’s more effective to connect with other people who’ve successfully retrained their trauma responses. I want to learn from other brains that are working the way I want mine to work. It’s not going to be as helpful if I wallow in the trauma pit with people who are in endless healing mode but never healed.

Using this kind of framing has really sped me along through some transformations that might never have happened if I used the healing frame.

Is the Healing Frame Effective for You?

I invite you to question whether the healing frame is really helping you or if it’s actually getting in your way. Are you really wounded or damaged? Are you checking off healing issues as done and cured at a healthy pacing?

I do a lot of coaching, and I don’t normally regard people as wounded, even if they use that frame on themselves. I consider instead that their brains may be outputting patterns that aren’t serving them well. I can still feel compassion for them, knowing how easy it is for ineffective patterns to be trained into us, especially from childhood. There’s no blame or shame in that. But my role isn’t to heal them since I’m not a doctor, and there’s no wound to treat. My role is to invite and encourage them to retrain these patterns, so their brain shifts towards generating the output patterns they’d really like to see.

Like many human beings, I have had to retrain my brain a great deal. I entered my 20s with many messed up mental and emotional patterns which, if left uncorrected, would surely have held me back from accessing and appreciating so much of life’s beauty and deliciousness. I’ve been investing in this kind of retraining for 3 decades now, and it’s still ongoing. And I can tell you that these efforts have been paying off wonderfully. I’m happy. I’m highly motivated. I’m experiencing the best creative flow of my life. I enjoy lovely high-trust relationships. I give and receive hugs, kisses, and cuddles daily. I contribute to the world. My finances are in great shape and keep improving. I have a lifestyle that I appreciate. Nice home. Yadda yadda yadda.

Perhaps my most powerful starting point was in a jail cell back in January 1991. I remember that it was Superbowl Sunday because people were watching the Superbowl from their cells (barely though since it was playing on a small TV a bit far away). I’m glad that even back then, I didn’t use the frame that I needed to heal myself. I started with the frame that I needed to grow, really to grow up. That was a start. I feel lucky that I began by creating a clearer picture of the kind of person I wanted to be, which gave me a standard to move towards.

It was some years later that I discovered and explored the healing frame, and while I’m glad to have explored it a lot because I do love exploring, those were among my slowest and most stagnant years in terms of measurable progress. Relevant to how fast the gains came during other years, it seemed like I was standing still during those times. So using the healing frame was a bit like pushing the pause button on growth, even though I still felt like I was busily occupied with growth-like activities.

Outgrowing “Poor Me”

Another issue with the healing frame is that it doesn’t help unless you perceive yourself as wounded or damaged. What if your life is going well and you feel great? How do you keep healing beyond that? The healing frame is pretty much guaranteed to hit a plateau sooner or later. I don’t want to plateau, and with the retraining frame I don’t have to. Even when life is really good, I can keep reaching for more growth and improvement. I can upgrade endlessly, which I love.

This month I’m doing a 30-day challenge to improve my divergent thinking skills. I’m generating 100+ ideas per day to improve my life and business. Then I assess and figure out how to apply some of the best ones. Divergent thinking is already a strength of mine, so I definitely don’t need to heal it. I’m training my mind to get better at generating even more wildly creative ideas. By the end of the month, I’ll have generated 3000+ ideas. I know most of them won’t be practical, but I can say that after just 2 days of this so far, I’m super optimistic about it. I’ve already implemented some fabulous ideas that were quick to do.

What’s your relationship with the healing frame? Has it done wonders for you and flowed you into a bountiful new phase of life? If so, that’s wonderful, and I applaud you for it. The purpose of this article isn’t to dissuade you from using that framing if it’s truly effective for you. Rather I want to nudge those who find themselves feeling stuck to consider if the healing frame could be a potential reason for that stuckness. The healing frame has some major shortcomings, so my intention here is to caution you about using it. I think it’s highly likely that you’d get better and faster results with a different framing, such as retraining your brain or upgrading your mental and emotional output patterns.

A simple way of thinking about the approach I find more effective here is to ask: What kinds of experiences do I wish I’d had growing up, such that I would have learned much more effective patterns? Getting clear about how I wish life had trained my brain (in contrast to the training I actually received) gives me so much clarity about the solution path.

The overall benefit to having been poorly trained in some key areas is that it was a powerful invitation to learn how to consciously train my brain. If my early mental and emotional training had been much better, I might not have developed this skill set nearly as well. So that helps me appreciate anything traumatic from my past, knowing what an amazing invitation it really was. And this appreciation just compounds when I flow these personal gains into sharing lessons to benefit many other people as well. So even though it was hard going through some of those early experiences, in retrospect I think it was a fair and generous offer from reality, and I can respect and even admire how it set that up. Instead of spending so much of my life resenting or resisting the past, I expect that sense of appreciation will only deepen in the years ahead.

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People Are Ignoring Signs Of Pancreatic Cancer. Could You Spot Them?

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A leading charity is worried by the number of people who would put off seeking help for symptoms of pancreatic cancer.

A new survey conducted by Savanta Comres on behalf of Pancreatic Cancer UK found that 31% of people would delay seeking help for longer than usual because of the pandemic.

It also revealed that 28% of people would wait for around three months before seeking help when showing common symptoms of pancreatic cancer. Another 22% said they wouldn’t feel confident recognising jaundice – one of the key symptoms.

Other symptoms for pancreatic cancer include:

  • Back pain

  • Indigestion

  • Stomach pain

  • Weight loss

The charity said anyone should seek help from a GP if these common symptoms persist for more than four weeks.

But anyone with jaundice – yellowing of the skin or eyes – should seek help from A&E as soon as possible as it is one of the “red flag” symptoms of the disease.

Around four in five people who have pancreatic cancer are diagnosed when the cancer is at a late stage which means they’ve missed out on a chance of life-saving treatment.

Half of those with the disease die within three months of diagnosis, Pancreatic Cancer UK said. Each year more than 10,000 people are diagnosed with the disease. But early detection gives people better odds of survival, so the charity is urging the public to seek care if they have any symptoms.

Diana Jupp, chief executive of Pancreatic Cancer UK, said: “It is hugely worrying to hear that so many people would put off seeking help for so long. Pancreatic cancer has not gone away because of Covid-19 and I would urge anyone with persistent, unexplained symptoms to use the NHS.

“There is no time to wait with pancreatic cancer. Thousands of people a year are told it’s too late, that nothing can be done for them. It is vital that people are diagnosed as early as possible to give them the best chance of having life-saving treatment.”

Dame Cally Palmer, director of the NHS Cancer Programme, said: “This research confirms what we know – many people could be risking their lives by putting off medical attention for symptoms that could be cancer, even though it’s vitally important that cancer is discovered at an earlier stage, when it’s easier to treat.

“The NHS is open and ready to treat people with potential cancer symptoms, and cancer referrals and diagnosis are back to pre-pandemic levels – so, whether you or a loved one has a routine appointment, or a potential cancer symptom, please don’t delay and come forward to get yourself checked.”

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‘Shocking’ Inequality Is Still Behind Many Stillbirths And Premature Births

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A quarter of stillbirths and a fifth of premature births across England are due to socio-economic inequalities, research suggests.

A review in the Lancet of more than a million births found that South Asian and Black women living in the most deprived areas experience the largest inequalities when it comes to what happens to their pregnancy.

Experts behind the review suggested that some factors, such as high body mass index (BMI) and whether a mother smokes, could be contributing to the risk, but also pointed to racism and economic issues.

Calculations for the study suggest that half of stillbirths and three quarters of births where the baby is smaller than expected in South Asian women living in the most deprived fifth of neighbourhoods would be potentially avoidable if these women had the same risks as white women living in the most affluent fifth.

Similarly, about two thirds of stillbirths and nearly half of births involving small babies in Black women from the most deprived neighbourhoods were potentially avoidable if they had the same risks as white women in richer areas.

SDI Productions via Getty Images

The NHS has set a target of halving stillbirth and neonatal death rates, and reducing levels of premature birth, by 25% by 2025.

An estimated 60,000 babies are born prematurely in the UK every year (before 37 weeks).

In 2019, around one in 255 births resulted in a stillbirth in England and Wales, alongside around one in 302 in Scotland.

In 2020, there were 2,429 stillbirths (167 fewer than 2019) in England and Wales, according to the Office for National Statistics (ONS).

In the new study, a team from the National Maternity and Perinatal Audit analysed birth records between April 1, 2015 and March 31, 2017, in NHS hospitals in England.

They worked out the impact of socio-economic factors, adjusting for whether women smoked, their BMI and other pregnancy risk factors.

Socio-economic status was measured for each local area and combined information on income, employment, education, housing, crime and the living environment.

In total, almost 1.2 million women with a birth of a single child were included in the study, of whom 77% were white, 12% South Asian, 5% Black, 2% mixed race/ethnicity, and 4% other race/ethnicity.

Overall, 4,505 women experienced a stillbirth (after 24 weeks), the study found, while of 1,151,476 liveborn babies, 69,175 were premature and 22,679 were births involving foetal growth restriction (smaller babies).

Risk of stillbirth was 0.3% in the least socio-economically deprived group and 0.5% in the most deprived group; risk of a premature birth was 4.9% in the least deprived group and 7.2% in the most deprived group; while risk of foetal growth restriction was 1.2% in the least deprived group and 2.2% in the most deprived group.

The experts found that 24% of stillbirths, 19% of live premature births and 31% of live births of smaller babies were attributed to socio-economic inequality and would not have occurred if all women had the same risks as those in the least deprived group.

But when experts adjusted for ethnicity, mothers smoking and BMI, these statistics were cut (to 12%, 12%, and 16%, respectively), which the authors suggested means these factors may explain a considerable part of the socio-economic inequalities in pregnancy outcomes.

Pregnancy complications were found to disproportionately affect Black and minority ethnic women – with 12% of all stillbirths, 1% of premature births and 17% of births with growth restriction attributed to ethnic inequality.

In this group, adjusting for deprivation, smoking, and BMI had little impact on these associations – suggesting factors related to discrimination based on ethnicity and culture may contribute to poor outcomes.

Co-lead author Dr Jennifer Jardine, from the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, said: “The stark reality is that across England, women’s socioeconomic and ethnic background are still strongly related to their likelihood of experiencing serious adverse outcomes for their baby.

“I think that people will be shocked to see that these inequalities are still responsible for a substantial proportion of adverse pregnancy outcomes in England.

“Over the past few decades, efforts to close the gap in birth outcomes focusing primarily on improving maternity care and targeting individual behaviours have not been successful.

“Birth outcomes don’t only represent a woman’s health during pregnancy but also reflect her health and wellbeing across her entire life.

“While we must continue to encourage healthy behaviours during pregnancy, we also need public health professionals and politicians to strengthen efforts to address the lifelong, cumulative impact of racism and social and economic inequalities on the health of women, families, and communities.”

Co-lead author Professor Jan van der Meulen from the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine added: “There are many possible reasons for these disparities.

“Women from deprived neighbourhoods and Black and minority ethnic groups may be at a disadvantage because of their environment, for example, because of pollution, poor housing, social isolation, limited access to maternity and health care, insecure employment, poor working conditions, and stressful life events.

“National targets to make pregnancy safer will only be achieved if there is a concerted effort by midwives, obstetricians, public health professionals and politicians to tackle the broader socioeconomic and ethnic inequalities.”

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We’ve Been Holding Our Phones The Wrong Way All This Time

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Do you spend countless hours scrolling on your phone? We’re probably all aware by now of the potential impact on our mental health and wellbeing. But how you use your smartphone has implications for your physical health, too.

Is your phone in your hand right now? Ask yourself: how are you holding it? Is the bottom edge resting on your little finger, the back on your index and maybe your third and fourth fingers – while your thumb does all the scrolling?

Yep, us too. But it’s not good for us. Your pinkie and thumb are the fingers that are most impacted when holding a smartphone or tablet. If you grip or clutch your phone a lot, this can also cause your thumb and fingers to cramp or become inflamed, a condition known informally as “smartphone finger.”

But your wrists and arms can also be affected by the way you use it.

This tweet went viral this week, forcing many of us to reconsider how we’re using our smartphones. How valid is its claim?

Sorry to have to break it to you, but Ben Lombard, a member of the Chartered Society of Physiotherapy, confirms to HuffPost UK that it’s all true.

“We tend to hold our phones with the little finger underneath supporting the weight of the phone and our wrist turning inward to told the screen to our faces,” says Lombard. “This can cause ulnar nerve compression if sustained for long periods of time.”

The ulnar nerve is one of three main nerves in your arm – it runs from inside the elbow and along your inner forearm into your palm, pinkie side, and transmits electrical signals to muscles in both the forearm and hand.

The nerve can get trapped either by prolonged stretching – when your elbow is bent – or prolonged pressure, from leaning on the handlebars of a bike, say, or using hand tools, according to John Hopkins Medicine. Or your beloved phone.

A 2017 study found a link between the extended use of smartphones and a greater likelihood of experiencing another painful wrist and hand disorder.

According to lead author Peter White, assistant professor in the department of health technology and informatics at Hong Kong Polytechnic University: “Caution may be warranted when using hand-held electronic devices in order to minimise the chance of developing carpal tunnel syndrome.”

Carpal tunnel syndrome can develop following repeated pressure to the point where the median nerve passes into the hand and meets the wrist – the carpal tunnel – which is surrounded by bones and ligaments, palm side of your hand.

Work conditions that call for “repetitive, forceful, or awkward hand movements, for example, when typing” are a common cause for carpal tunnel syndrome, which can result in pain, numbness, finger tingling, and weakened grip strength.

To find out if smartphone usage increased people’s chances of getting it, White and his colleagues followed up on a prior survey of 500 University of Hong Kong students, that split students into two groups: those who used portable devices for more than five hours a day and non-intensive users (who used them less than five hours a day). More than half (54%) of the intensive group reported musculoskeletal pain and/or discomfort, compared to 12% of the other group.

The new study targeted 48 students from the earlier study. Half were intensive users who spent more than nine hours a day (on average) using their device. Other students spent less than three hours a day on their devices.

Researchers found those who were part of the intensive group had significantly more and increased discomfort in their wrists and hands. The longer time a person spent using a handheld electronic device, the harder and longer their pain was.

And that’s not all. There’s also the potential for painful neck-ache. As physio Ben Lombard warns: “The position of the neck is also heavily invoked, as we tend to be stuck looking down if standing up. Or, even worse, if we are lying down using our phones, we will often be holding our neck in an extended position which can compress the nerves.”

So, other than avoiding the “pinkie anchor”, can we change the way we hold our phones to lessen any collateral damage. Not really, says Lombard, who instead recommends more mindful use of your electronics – could you be reading or watching content on a larger computer or TV screen, for instance, rather than a hand-held device?

“Ultimately, there is no ‘optimal’ way to hold your phone,” he says. “Just consider the amount of time you use it and how you use it.”

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The Easy Ratio That’ll Make A Perfectly Healthy Kids Lunch

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Packing a nutritionally balanced lunch that your kids will actually eat can sometimes feel like a crapshoot – the second you think you have your lunch game on lock, that’s the day they’ll come home with the elaborate bento box you packed them still intact.

As parents, we feel responsible for our kids’ health and that understandably translates into a lot of stress over what they’re eating or not eating.

“Your job as a parent is to offer healthy, nutritious foods as often as possible, on a consistent schedule,” said Aubrey Phelps, a functional perinatal and paediatric nutritionist. “But it’s up to your child to decide what to do with them.”

The best way to grow a happy, healthy eater is to keep offering what you’d ideally want your child to eat – and don’t take it personally if they choose not to eat it. When it comes to school lunches, Phelps recommends keeping it simple: “Focusing on specific vitamins or minerals can miss the big picture,” she said.

If you use the following macronutrient formula to pack your kids’ lunch and vary the sources of each, you’re almost guaranteed to have a healthy, balanced meal that will keep them focused and energised at school.

The Formula

50% veggies and fruit

25% lean protein and healthy fats

25% starch or whole grains

+ fluids

The ideal school lunch formula is often referred to as the plate method – a visual representation of what a well-rounded meal looks like.

“Every child needs a healthy balance of macronutrients (protein, carbs, fat) and vitamins and minerals,” Nicole Avena, a New York-based health psychologist and author of What to Feed Your Baby and Toddler told HuffPost. “The plate method helps ensure that no one nutrient is overpowering the rest.”

If your child has a lunch that’s mostly carbs or whole grains and some protein, for instance, they’ll likely feel tired in the afternoon. Carbs not only make you sleepy due to their ability to increase tryptophan and serotonin levels in the body (both of which are sleep-inducing compounds), but they can quickly raise your blood sugar, and the subsequent drop can leave you feeling tired, Avena said. Even a larger portion of protein and smaller amount of carbs can make your child sleepy.

“Proteins and fats are often more difficult to digest than carbs and nutrients that come from fruits and vegetables,” Avena said. “This can potentially lead to fatigue, since your body needs to use up more energy during digestion.”

Making sure their lunchbox contains every element of this formula means your child will consume the balance of nutrients necessary to focus and enjoy their school day without feeling sluggish.

Let’s break down the formula.

Veggies And Fruit – 50%

Try: carrot sticks, bell pepper strips, grape tomatoes, cucumber, grapes, apple slices, watermelon, berries.

The biggest portion, or half of the lunchbox, should contain 2-3 different kinds of vegetables and fruit – preferably, two vegetables and one fruit, as children’s daily intake of vegetables tends to be lower than their fruit intake, according to a 2019 review published in the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine.

This is actually an example of what NOT to do. Don't go heavier on fruits than vegetables, since most kids tend to eat more fruits anyway.

This is actually an example of what NOT to do. Don’t go heavier on fruits than vegetables, since most kids tend to eat more fruits anyway.

“Vegetables and fruit provide antioxidants to fight off disease, including vitamin A for skin and eye health, lutein for eye protection (from blue light) and vitamin C for immunity,” said Amy Shapiro, New York City-based registered dietitian and founder of Real Nutrition.

Produce is also rich in water to keep kids hydrated, and contains fiber for sustained energy and improved digestion.

Lean Protein And Healthy Fats – 25%

Try: chicken, turkey, tofu, edamame, hard-boiled eggs, Greek yogurt, string cheese, nuts, seeds.

“Protein is the nutrient that takes the longest to digest, so having it as part of your child’s lunch will keep them full and their blood sugar stable,” Shapiro said.

Depending on the type of protein provided, it may also contain amino acids for growth and muscle repair, zinc for immunity, and iron and vitamin B12 for energy.

On to healthy fats: “Fat helps to keep you full, provides energy and allows for the bioavailability and absorption of many of the vitamins we eat through other foods,” Shapiro said. “By including fat in your child’s meals, you’ll help them stay full longer and be more energized.”

Enough fat is often cooked into your food or a part of the meal already, so it doesn’t necessarily need to be a separate addition, Shapiro said. (Eggs and nut butters, for example, offer a one-two punch of protein and healthy fats.)

Starch Or Whole Grains – 25%

Try: whole grain bread, cereal, granola, brown rice, quinoa, crackers, air-popped popcorn.

“Carbohydrates are broken down into sugar in the body, providing energy for immediate use and reserves for later use,” Shapiro said. “Ideally, whole grains or whole wheat should be included, as they’re rich in nutrients, digest more slowly and are high in fiber to aid in balanced blood sugar and digestion.”

They also contain B vitamins, which are important for energy and metabolism.

But if your child isn’t the biggest fan of whole grains, don’t fret: “Vegetables and fruits also fit into the carbohydrate category, so you don’t always have to think about bread or grains if your child doesn’t like them,” Shapiro said.

Starchy vegetables and fruit include carrots, corn, potatoes, winter squash and bananas.

Fluids

Even just mild dehydration can cause a decline in cognitive function.

“Being dehydrated can affect reaction time, attention, memory and reasoning,” Avena said. “Children are potentially more at risk of dehydration because they’re more likely to be dependent on someone else for their fluid intake.”

Send your child to school with a large water bottle so they get enough fluids during the school day — and remind them to keep it at their desk.

“Out of sight equals out of mind,” Phelps said. “I also recommend a water bottle that’ll keep the water cold or room temp (however your child prefers) so they don’t get turned off by drinking warm water.”

It doesn’t have to be plain water, either: They might prefer fruit-infused, coconut or sparkling, or a different liquid entirely, like milk or 100% fruit or vegetable juice.

“If your kid really struggles to drink enough, consider sending hydrating foods,” Phelps said. “Soups, smoothies, juicy fruits like grapes and melon, bell peppers, even yogurt, are all hydrating options that can help keep kids on track.”

The easiest way to measure out lunchbox portions

Children are intuitive eaters – they’ll eat when they’re hungry and stop when they’re full, with the amount of lunch they eat fluctuating day-to-day – so there’s really no such thing as perfect portions to pack.

The easiest way to ensure you’re in the ballpark? Use your child’s hands as your guide.

Think of your child’s hands as a plate – palms up, pinkies together. Half of their “plate” (or one hand) should be veggies and fruits. The palm of the other hand protein, and fingers complex carbs.

“Using this method, the amounts needed change as your child grows (and so will their needed portion sizes),” Phelps said.

She’s also a fan of the bento box-style lunch containers, which are already sectioned off into child-friendly portions. You can fill one section with vegetables and fruit, one with protein and healthy fats and one with starch or whole grains sans guesswork. These ratios don’t necessarily need to be tweaked if your child has specific dietary needs.

“Appropriate substitutions are needed to ensure they have a filling and nourishing meal, regardless of the nutrition modifications that are needed,” Maya Feller, a Brooklyn-based registered dietitian, told HuffPost. The overall rule of thumb, however, generally stays the same.

Ratios and formulas should only be used as a guideline, not a hard rule, because children themselves should dictate how much they need to eat.

“If parents find their child is consistently eating 100% of foods packed throughout the day, it could be a sign they’re going through critical stages of development and require more energy,” Feller said.

It’s also important to keep in mind this is one meal out of their entire day — so if a lunchbox comes home practically full, it’s not game over. “We want to look at nutrition over the course of the day, not one meal,” Shapiro said.

When in doubt, you can check in with your kids: Ask how lunch was and make food and portion modifications based on the feedback given.

Remember: nutrition is cumulative

View your child’s nutrition over the course of a week, not a day – or a meal. “They’ll get what they need over time,” Shapiro said. “Some days are great and some days are off and it all balances out.”

The most important thing a parent can do is create a good relationship with food. That’s more important than creating the perfect lunch.

“Kids tend to be more black and white thinkers, so I don’t recommend focusing on ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy’ or ‘fun’ foods,” said Krystyn Parks, a California-based paediatric registered dietitian. “All food is food. All foods have a purpose.”

Perfection isn’t the goal – setting routines that work for you and your child are.

“Find your own routine, get your kids involved in the choices and don’t measure yourself against another person,” Feller said. “No one day – or meal – is going to be perfect in terms of nutrition.”

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12 Ways Therapists Are Personally Coping With Covid Anxiety (Again)

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When the Covid-19 pandemic broke out in early 2020, we asked therapists and other mental health practitioners to share coping mechanisms for dealing with our weird new normal and mounting anxiety about the coronavirus.

Now the world is (somehow) entering the 19th month of the pandemic, and we’re calling on them again.

As the Delta variant of the virus continues to spread, infecting high numbers of unvaccinated people in the US in particular, we could use some therapeutic advice to help dial down our anxieties.

Below, mental health practitioners across America share how they’re coping with so much uncertainty, and the techniques they personally use when they start to worry about Covid getting bad again.

I remind myself this isn’t my first Covid rodeo.

“In times like these, I remind myself: I am not a pro at living through a pandemic, but I am not a novice, either. I remind myself that I can take precaution and maintain the way I have been for over a year. I can do the best that I can. My best is enough.” ― Akua Boateng, a psychotherapist in Philadelphia

I practise gratitude.

“It’s always helpful to focus on what we can control, but focusing on what we are grateful for is transformative. Practising gratitude always helps my anxious worries melt away. When the world feels uncertain, I love to physically write down on paper all the things I’m grateful for that come to mind, no matter how big or small. This small gratitude practice helps me shift my thinking away from ‘powerless’ to ‘powerful,’ from feeling like a victim to feeling like a victor. (As a mental health professional, I know that gratitude rewires our brains’ thought patterns for the better!) And in the moments my mind seems to want to cling extra-hard to anxiety, I take the opportunity to call a friend and share what’s on my mind. Connecting with another human being for a little compassion and empathy is always a good idea!” ― Therese Mascardo, a psychologist and founder of Exploring Therapy

I let myself process all my emotions about Covid: the good, the bad and the ugly.

“I personally give myself permission to name and experience the wide range of emotions stemming from the current pandemic and new variant; these feelings range anywhere from grief, anger, helplessness to hope. I let these feelings run through me and also share my thoughts and feelings with my support system of family and friends. This reminds me that I’m not alone with what I am experiencing.” ― Alyssa Mancao, a licensed clinical social worker in Los Angeles

“I practise regular self-validation and self-compassion, meaning that I allow and accept the emotions that show up with kindness, and without allowing self-judgment and self-criticism to prevail. Emphasis on ‘practice’ here, not perfection. At the end of the day, we’re all humans going through a shared traumatic experience together. I allow myself space to take time for myself, consider what I’m capable of, workload-wise (aware that I have the privilege to do that), and recalibrate and adjust as these times ahead change.” ― Brooke Huminski, a psychotherapist in Providence, Rhode Island

I limit the amount of Covid news I consume.

“What helps me to manage my Covid anxiety is to set limits and boundaries around the information that I am consuming. That can look like only watching the news for 10 minutes per day and not constantly refreshing my feeds. It is also helpful to set boundaries with friends and family in terms of sharing news stories, fatality rates and other information that can affect my mood. Simply stating, ‘Hey, I appreciate you wanting to keep me in the loop of what is going on, but these articles are creating more anxiety for me.’ Especially since we are all managing a climate in which there are so many opinions and an influx of false information spreading, it is important to filter what you are consuming and set boundaries.” ― Aaliyah Nurideen, a licenced clinical social worker in New Jersey

"[I] set limits and boundaries around the information that I am consuming," one social worker tells HuffPost. "That can look like only watching the news for 10 minutes per day and not constantly refreshing my feeds."

“[I] set limits and boundaries around the information that I am consuming,” one social worker tells HuffPost. “That can look like only watching the news for 10 minutes per day and not constantly refreshing my feeds.”

I ground myself in nature.

“Even though all I want to do after a long day of sessions is collapse on my couch and eat Cheez-Its, I force myself once or twice a week to the beach where I can put my feet in the sand and listen to the waves. Take an evening walk or sit on my back patio and listen to the birds chirping.” ― Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist in San Diego

With so much out of my control, I’m focusing on what I can control.

“To me, the key to handling worry (whether it’s about Covid or anything else) is to make decisions about what I can actually control and then redirect my attention to what I’m actually doing with my time in the present moment. So if worry comes up about the latest COvid news, for instance, I might take some brief time to decide if I want to update any personal decisions I’ve made about activities or precautions in my life related to COvid. That should be a relatively quick thing (lingering for too long in decision-making mode is bad for anxiety), and then I try not to analyse questions I can’t actually answer, like ‘When will this end?’ or ‘Will I get Covid?’ Those questions are impossible to answer with certainty, so instead of trying to eliminate the uncertainty, I allow the uncertainty to exist and redirect my attention towards whatever activity I am actually doing with my time in that moment. Basically what I’ve just described there is mindfulness and acceptance of uncertainty, which are proven effective strategies for anxiety and worry.” ― Michael Stein, a psychologist in Denver specializing in anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder

“In grappling with my own Covid anxiety, I’ve worked on more actively accepting uncertainty. This means recognising when things are outside of my control, and gently encouraging myself to release any attempts I’m making to control those things. At the same time, I’m also staying mindful of the things that are still within my control – even if they feel small. We all make numerous decisions throughout the day – from what we eat, to what we wear, to who we interact with ― and reminding myself that I have choice in all of those things helps me to stay connected to my sense of agency in the world and my own capacity as a human being.” ― Madison McCullough, a psychotherapist in New York City

I try to meditate every day.

“I’ve committed to a morning and evening meditation practice. Even if I only have five minutes, it really grounds me as I enter the day and night. Insight Timer is a fantastic free app that provides a variety of meditations to meet your personal needs.” ― Aimee Martinez, a psychologist in Los Angeles

I try not to overextend myself.

“I’m a psychologist and a human: I have to contend with the same rush of emotions when I see the news stories involving loss, the politicisation of the virus and vaccine, and ‘business as usual’ even in the face of crisis. What has helped me over the past 19 months is figuring out what is in the locus of my control: that is, how can I not take blame for national events and focus more on what is more proximal to me? For example, just because I do an interview urging vaccinations on CNN does not mean I should see a spike in appointments the next day. What I can do, however, is check in on the one person I had a conversation with about vaccinations, to see how I can support their decision with evidence and love. But sometimes even checking in [on] other people can be a big source of frustration. That means limiting my locus just to myself: Am I wearing a mask? Am I sleeping and eating right? Have I sent loving messages to those around me? Just those seemingly small check marks can reduce the anxiety I have about exposure, increased risk, or supporting my loved ones.” ― Riana Elyse Anderson, a psychologist and assistant professor at the University of Michigan School of Public Health

“I’ve committed to a morning and evening meditation practice," one social worker says.

“I’ve committed to a morning and evening meditation practice,” one social worker says.

I’m practising radical acceptance.

“Right now, I am practising radical acceptance (a distress tolerance skill). I have accepted the uncertainty of the situation, which doesn’t mean I like it or want it, but means I have chosen to say to myself, ‘This just is what it is and I cannot control this situation. I am focusing on what I can control.’ I focus on having a relaxing morning routine and doing things that relieve stress every day.” ― Rebecca Leslie, a psychologist in Atlanta

I lean into my hobbies.

“Arkansas is a Covid hot spot, so my Covid policies are self-care via masking, doing only telehealth sessions with clients, being vaccinated, and going out only when necessary, though I walk in nature for an hour daily with my dogs. To stay challenged, I’m learning two new hobbies ― knitting and woodworking. Bottom line, there’s a lot of lemonade that can be made from pandemic lemons.” ― Becky Whetstone, a marriage and family therapist in Little Rock, Arkansas, and co-host of “Curly Girls Relationship Show”

I seek harmony.

“When Covid became a thing, my big focus was on creating balance in my life. I worked hard at balancing being a great therapist, being my most present self to my two toddler children, being a listening ear to my medical colleagues working on the front lines, being an anchor to my extended family as they grieved the loss of several family members and friends, and taking the baton from my husband as he took on the lion share of pandemic parenting. This time around, I seek harmony. I am striving to live in the flow of my life by establishing routines, permitting myself not to follow routines, creating structures in my life, and allowing myself room to move within those structures. Less abstractly, I am listening more to what I need to be there for others. I am also accepting the limitations to my excellence. I am not here to find balance in all the many responsibilities and goals I have. I am here to live my life to the fullest, which means living in the flow of the good, bad, and blah days.” ― Dana Crawford, a psychologist and cultural bias consultant in New York City

I remind myself I’m doing all I can to stay safe.

“When I begin to feel anxious, as we all do ― often triggered by something I heard on the news, or a notice from my child’s school about another infection ― I fall back on cognitive behavioral tools. I remind myself of the statistics with this virus. Despite the high infection rate and the virulence of the delta virus, the death rate is still low. I remind myself that I am doing all I can do by following medical advice. I choose to put the rest of my worry on a shelf. I also choose to enjoy this present moment and not allow my fear to steal it from me. I will often repeat this to myself a few times, add some deep breaths and distract myself with a healthier thought, and I’m on my way again.” ― Zoe Shaw, a psychotherapist, relationship coach and author of “A Year of Self-Care”

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Is It Covid Or A Back-To-School Bug? Here’s When To Keep Your Kids Off

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The start of the school term often brings snot, coughs and dodgy tummies. But the last 18 months has taught us all to be hyper-vigilant about health, so we’re looking at back-to-school bugs a little differently.

Previously, we may have sent children into the classroom with a mild sniffle, but now, with Covid still a factor, parents may be wondering whether to keep kids home. We’ve also been warned that cases of norovirus are likely to spike this September, just to add fuel to the fire.

But why do kids get poorly at the start of term anyway? And when they’ve already missed so much school last year, when’s the correct time to keep them off? Dr Sameer Sanghvi, who’s clinical technology lead at Lloyds Pharmacy Online Doctor, answered our questions.

Why do kids get ill at the start of the school term?

“Often children (and teachers) get ill at the start of term because they’re suddenly exposed to lots of people, after a summer often spent mainly with a small number of family and friends,” says Dr Sanghvi.

“The more people you mix with, the more likely you are to catch and spread germs off one another. And we all know children, even after the last year, aren’t quite as good as adults at good hygiene practices like washing their hands thoroughly, covering their faces when they cough and blowing their noses etc.”

The start of term can also be very tiring, especially for young children, who aren’t as used to being sat in a classroom all day.

“When we get tired our immune systems sometimes find it harder to fight off bugs. So this can also mean kids (and anyone who works in a school) might be more susceptible to picking something up,” Dr Sanghvi explains.

“Coughs, colds and norovirus can all be very contagious, particularly in an environment like a school, where you have lots of people in one room for long periods of time.”

What are the most common symptoms of Covid in kids?

By now, we all know the importance of self-isolating if you’ve got Covid. But kids get a lot of sniffles at school, so how can you tell the difference?

“Like with adults, the main symptoms of Covid-19 in children are still a high temperature, a new, continuous cough and a loss or change of taste or smell,” says Dr Sanghvi.

“With the start of term it’s likely lots of kids will get a cough, cold or runny nose. But if you think your child has Covid-19 symptoms, you should book them a test. That’s the easiest way to confirm if it is or isn’t Covid-19.”

If it’s not Covid, is it okay to go to school?

“It can be hard knowing when to keep a child off school. Sometimes it’s okay to send them in with a mild illness, but other times it better to keep them at home,” says Dr Sanghvi.

“If your child has Covid-19 symptoms, you should get them a test and keep them off school unless they get a negative result.

“Generally speaking, if your child has a fever, they should be off school until it’s gone (unless it’s due to Covid-19, in which case they’ll need to self-isolate and follow the advice from Test and Trace).”

As a rule, if your child has been sick or has diarrhoea, they should be off school for 48 hours from the last time they vomited or had diarrhoea, she adds.

“The NHS has lots of advice for different conditions like cold sores, chicken pox, impetigo and many others, and when to keep your kids off school,” says Dr Sanghvi. “So it’s always best checking their website, and don’t forget if you’re worried about your child, you can always ring up your GP and speak to them.”

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Keeping Getting A UTI? Here Are Some Common Reasons Why

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Urinary tract infections – or UTIs – can be painful, annoying and recurring, if you don’t take action to reduce the chances of getting one. While more common in women, as they have shorter urethras, meaning bacteria can pass through more easily, the issue also affects men.

Symptoms of a UTI include needing to pee suddenly or more often than usual, pain or a burning sensation when peeing, smelly or cloudy pee, blood in your pee, pain in your lower tummy, feeling tired and unwell, and in older people, changes in behaviour such as severe confusion or agitation.

If you notice any pain and continuous discomfort then definitely chat to your doctor about it. While it may just be symptoms of a UTI, which can be treated with antibiotics, doing a urine test can rule out any other conditions. There are also things to be mindful of if you want to stop getting regular UTIs.

Stella Ivaz, a urologist at London Bridge Urology, tells HuffPost UK: “We give patients lifestyle advice, and that usually includes good fluid intake, making sure you empty your bladder regularly so flushing the system. Wipe the correct way. And sex is a trigger so try voiding after intercourse so if a few bacteria did have the chance to make their way up, you try and empty that as soon as possible.”

Sound advice – and read on for more details on how best to avoid UTIs.

Not urinating properly

It sounds simple, but just make sure you finish peeing and completely empty your bladder before you get off the toilet.

You might not be aware but you may be leaving the bathroom with urine still left inside. To make sure you get it all out, you can try a method called double voiding.

This includes weeing, then standing for a few seconds, before trying again. You’ll see residual urine now coming out.

This is a good way of avoiding a UTI as static urine can build up over time and cause the infection.

Taking care after sex

During sex, all sorts of fluids are exchanged and different orifices are used, so naturally it’s going to include the swapping of bacteria.

The reason that sex increases the likelihood of UTIs is because the physical act of love-making causes a woman’s urethra to come into contact with bacteria from the genitals and anus – hers and a partner’s. After contact is made, it’s easy for bacteria to travel up into the urinary system and cause an infection.

This is one of the reasons that women experience more UTIs than men. In fact, close to 80% of premenopausal women who get a UTI had sex within the previous 24 hours. To avoid the chances of a UTI, make sure to pee after sex to flush out any potential bacteria.

Not wiping properly

This is another one which sounds simple but alas, it isn’t always done properly.

If you’re wiping from down up – as in, from the anus towards the vagina, then you’re likely inviting rectal bacteria into it. Not wiping properly can cause cystitis or (more common) urethritis.

Cystitis is usually caused by E. coli, a type of bacteria commonly found in the gastrointestinal tract. However, sometimes other bacteria are responsible. Sexual intercourse may also lead to cystitis, but you don’t have to be sexually active to develop it.

Urethritis can occur when gastrointestinal bacteria spreads from the anus to the urethra. Because the female urethra is close to the vagina, sexually transmitted infections, such as herpes, gonorrhoea, chlamydia and mycoplasma, can also cause urethritis.

Diabetes

Diabetes and urological health issues are closely connected. Diabetics are prone to UTIs because diabetes can impact blood flow, nerves and sensory function in the body, indirectly worsening urologic conditions.

Over time, people with diabetes may lose some sensory function. This can make it hard to know that you have to go to the bathroom. As a result, people may wait too long to go to the bathroom, or if the urine stays in the bladder too long, it may raise your chance for getting a bladder or kidney infection.

And finally, Covid

Don’t sound the panic alarm just yet, as Covid-19 itself doesn’t put you at risk of having a UTI. But treatments for the virus have caused UTIs in some cases. People who received steroids or had been catheterised during their treatment for Covid may be at greater risk of infection.

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Why ‘Before And After’ Photos Are More Problematic Than You Think

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Before and after photos are ubiquitous for a reason. They’re what marketers call a “social trigger” – a type of content that prompts those who see it to feel or act a certain way. They make it clear to viewers that one situation (the “after”) is more desirable than another (the “before”).

Think of before and after photos focused on weight loss, for example. If a group of people looked at a single photo of someone standing in a bathing suit, each person in that group might have a different reaction. Some might feel attracted to the person, others might feel indifferent about the person and others might focus on something else entirely – like what the person is wearing or how the sunset looks behind them.

But if that same photo is shown next to another photo of the same person, in which they wear a similar bathing suit but have a larger body, the reactions of the group looking at the photo become much more uniform. They notice the size of the person’s body in both photos before anything else. That comparison is the trigger.

While before and after photos might work for marketers and content creators, they’re often toxic for the rest of us. Sure, some are harmless – a photo of a dirty plate before it gets cleaned with dish soap versus after, or a messy bookshelf next to a tidied-up one. However, any pair of before and after photos that shows a human being sends a dangerous message: that certain types of bodies (or faces, hair types, skin tones, lip shapes, etc.) are better than others.

Here’s why these types of photos are even more insidious than you think:

They trigger unhealthy comparison.

“While sometimes well-intentioned, the impact of before and after photos lend to social and body comparisons, which can cause harm to anyone – especially people struggling with body image and eating concerns,” said Chelsea Kronengold, associate director of communications at the National Eating Disorders Association.

Many people seeing these photos will themselves to look more like the “before” than the “after.” And because the whole point of the before-and-after comparison is to say that the “after” is better, they’ll likely end up feeling less-than, or like their bodies need to be “fixed.” Over time, this can lead to real harm.

“Body dissatisfaction and thin-ideal internalisation are potential risk factors for all types of eating disorders,” Kronengold said. “People with negative body image are not only more likely to develop an eating disorder, but are also more likely to suffer from depression, isolation, low self-esteem and obsessions with weight loss.”

Before and after photos can trigger unhealthy comparison to others and an obsession with our own body types.

Before and after photos can trigger unhealthy comparison to others and an obsession with our own body types.

They reinforce weight stigma and anti-fat bias.

Before and after photos exist in every corner of social media, but they’re most pervasive in the weight loss space. Often, these posts elicit comments that seem positive, like, “so inspiring!” or “you look great!” But there’s a problematic flip side to these comments: The implication is that the person didn’t look great in their larger body, and that being thinner is always better.

“These subtle and overt messages contribute to weight stigma and perpetuates unhealthy diet culture messages that changing your body, losing weight or being thinner, is viewed as a ‘morally superior’ accomplishment,” Kronengold said.

This weight stigma (discrimination based on a person’s weight) is incredibly pervasive in our society, and it has serious negative effects. A 2018 review in the Journal of Advanced Nursing found that experiencing weight stigma increased a person’s risk of diabetes, eating disturbances, depression, anxiety and body dissatisfaction. It was also linked to an increase in chronic stress and chronic inflammation, and a decrease in self-esteem.

Weight stigma springs from the belief that thinner is better, and that fatness is unhealthy. But that’s not really the case. One 2016 review published in JAMA found that people in the “overweight” body mass index category live the longest. Another 2016 study published in the International Journal of Obesity found that 50% of people classified as “overweight” and nearly percent of people classified as “obese” were metabolically healthy. Meanwhile, 30% of people classified as “normal” weight were metabolically unhealthy.

The relationship between weight and health is incredibly complicated, but it’s fair to say that you can’t determine whether or not someone is healthy by looking at a photo of them.

Kronengold also pointed out that even before and after photos showing weight gain reinforce weight stigma. The eating disorder recovery space is filled with before-and-afters that showcase an extremely thin “before” body next to a less-thin (but still relatively small) “after” body.

“Many of these eating disorder before and after photos send the message that individuals with a history of anorexia and/or a low BMI are the only people impacted by eating disorders,” Kronengold said. “This reinforces the stereotype that eating disorders have a certain ‘look,’ and can alienate people with other eating disorder diagnoses and/or in higher-weight bodies.”

“It’s a very real phenomenon that people who post these before and after photos often feel boxed in by their visual ‘success stories’ when their bodies inevitably change over time.”

– Ashley Seruya, New York City-based therapist and writer

They don’t show the whole story.

Another massive problem with before-and-afters when it comes to bodies is that they only show two moments in time. Bodies are always changing — even the person posting the photos won’t look like their “after” forever.

“It’s a very real phenomenon that people who post these before-and-after photos often feel boxed in by their visual ‘success stories’ when their bodies inevitably change over time,” said Ashley Seruya, a New York City-based therapist and writer.

And yes, it is inevitable that their bodies will change, because the vast majority of people who lose weight will gain it back within a few years. A 2020 review published in the BMJ found that although diets lead to weight loss and health improvements after six months, that effect disappears at the one-year mark across all types of diets.

Another 2020 review concluded that diets cause more harm than good, since permanent weight loss is rare and negative physical and mental health side effects are common.

They put far too much value in appearances.

Just because someone is smiling in an “after” photo doesn’t mean that they’re mentally healthy. In fact, both Seruya and Kronengold said that it can be damaging to assume that someone has experienced positive life changes just because they “look better.”

“I think it’s almost always going to be dangerous to place our self-worth in something as uncontrollable and unpredictable as the human body,” Seruya said. Because, truthfully, how someone looks is very rarely an indication of their well-being.

“Instead of emphasising body transformations, we should be celebrating mental health wins, major life events, and accomplishments that have nothing to do with appearance and/or weight,” Kronengold said.

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Here’s How Your Diet Can Help You Have An Easier Period

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Our menstrual cycle affects so much of our life. From hormonal acne and serious mood swings to generally feeling quite crappy, I’m sure if some of us had the option to skip our periods we would. And f, like me, you’re someone who has always had bad period pain, it can leave you feel a bit helpless.

There are lifestyle adjustments we can adopt that can help towards making our periods easier to deal with, though – and one of them is the food we eat at different stages of our cycle.

Lifesum, a nutrition app that aims to help users improve their baseline health through what they’re eating, has found that small changes to your diet can improve your symptoms during each phase of your menstrual cycle.

“What you eat plays a huge role in overall health creation, including how you feel throughout your cycle,” says Dr Alona Pulde, star of the Forks Over Knives documentary and member of the Lifesum health advisory board.

“Most people think of periods as just a week-long occurrence, but in reality, it’s a month-long cycle and nutrient-dense foods can help replenish your body and balance your hormones throughout.”

Roxane Bakker who is a registered dietician and head of nutrition at Vitl agrees that it’s important to look after yourself when you’re menstruating, particularly when it comes to your diet. “Choosing foods that can help restore balance to your hormones are always a good option,” she says. “Vitamin B6 specifically is a key player in balancing your hormones. What you eat can sometimes help to relieve some of the uncomfortable symptoms you experience on your period”

There are four different stages to the menstrual cycle: the menstrual phase, the follicular phase, the ovulation phase, and the luteal phase. Each phase of our cycle requires different care and dietary needs, Dr Pulde suggests.

While dietary tweaks can help you ease your period pains, they aren’t solutions to medical conditions such as endometriosis, PCOS, or dysmenorrhoea. If your periods are so painful they’re affecting day-to-day life, speak to your doctor.

“Remember, everyone’s body works differently, and our needs vary,” adds Dr Pulde. “Focusing on a balanced, varied nutrient-dense diet that provides enough energy is key – not only for performance, but for our overall wellbeing.”

The Menstrual Phase

This first phase of the menstrual cycle is the time where our oestrogen and progesterone levels are lowest; you shed your uterine lining, and bleeding occurs. This usually lasts between three and seven days. During this time you can experience cramping, fatigue, low back pain, and mood swings.

This is a time when you’re losing a lot of blood so it’s important to stock up on iron-rich foods. Animal products such as red meat, poultry, and fish (heme iron) or plant-based products, including leafy greens, beetroot, and legumes (non-heme iron) are essential during this time.

“As you can imagine, fruit and vegetables are a staple when it comes to any healthy diet,” Bakker adds, “but they’re essential when it comes to managing period cramps. They’re a vital source of fibre which in some cases can help to relieve the stomach pains associated with menstruating.”

Be sure to avoid foods that are highly processed during this time, such as sweetened breakfast cereals. “They can make period symptoms worse, causing inflammation and bloating,” says Bakker. “Caffeine and alcohol also impact inflammation. And studies show that they can worsen PMS symptoms.”

The Follicular Phase

During this phase, which can last anything from 11 to over 20 days, depending on the length of your cycle, oestrogen levels start to rise again. Your energy should increase and you may notice you have greater motivation.

Eating fibre-rich foods (fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and legumes) and fermented foods (kombucha, kimchi, sauerkraut) will help to metabolise and clear excess oestrogen.

The Ovulation Phase

You may experience some cravings at the time of ovulation, around day 12 to 14 of your cycle, so you should be eating foods that are rich in fibre and high in nutrients and consuming enough of these food types to fill you up.

These include fruits (berries, apples, pears, bananas); vegetables (broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, artichoke, kale, sweet potatoes); legumes (beans, lentils, peas); whole grains (quinoa, oats, whole wheat pasta, barley); and nuts and seeds (almonds, pistachios, and sesame/pumpkin/sunflower seeds).

The Luteal Phase

The luteal stage of our cycle begins after ovulation, when both oestrogen and progesterone levels rise. During this time, pain can feel a bit more intense as large amounts of prostaglandins, a chemical that stimulates contractions, is released.

To help experience less cramping and lesson the physical symptoms of PMS, tuck into anti-inflammatory nutrients such as omega 3 (walnuts, flaxseed, chia seeds), antioxidants like vitamin C (found in fruit – particularly berries – and vegetables) and vitamin E (found in leafy greens, avocado, and whole grains).

“In this phase, it’s common to feel tired,” says Dr Pulde. “Eat complex carbs that provide fibre and vitamins to balance moods and curb cravings.”

Avoid or cut back on caffeine and alcohol if you can, she adds, and if you find your energy levels dropping, reach for the healthy snacks, such as hummus and veg sticks or homemade fruit and nut bars.

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