‘Inheritourism’ Explains Why People Travel The Way They Do

Posted on 07/02/2026 by Boris Clair

There’s a seemingly endless array of quippy terms to describe rising travel trends and preferences.

One particularly interesting term is “inheritourism”, which really gets to the heart of why different individuals travel the way that they do and how family plays a role.

Below, travel experts break down the meaning of “inheritourism”, as well as the benefits and drawbacks of this holiday phenomenon.

What is ‘inheritourism’?

“Inheritourism reflects how travel preferences are passed down across generations,” said Jess Petitt, senior vice president or strategy, insights and full service brands at Hilton.

“Many people inherit travel preferences from their parents, with family experiences often shaping how people travel well into adulthood.”

A 2026 travel report from Hilton identified “inheritourism” as a notable trend for the new year – with 66% of travellers surveyed by the hotel brand saying that their parents have influenced their choice of accommodations, 60% saying they guided their choice of loyalty programs and 73% saying they shaped their general travel style.

“I think inheritourism shows up most clearly in how people define what ‘comfortable’ travel looks like,” said travel blogger Esther Susag. “Many travellers inherit not just destinations, but entire travel styles from their parents. For example, I often notice that people who grew up only doing cruises or all-inclusive resorts tend to gravitate back to those formats as adults.”

Travellers accustomed to the ease of having everything in one place might be more hesitant to go off the beaten path with independent accommodations, hidden gem destinations or locations that require more planning or cultural navigation.

“That same pattern extends into how people pay for travel,” Susag said. “I’ve noticed that travellers whose parents used travel credit cards and understood points and miles tend to feel much more comfortable navigating loyalty programs and booking elevated experiences. On the other hand, people who grew up saving for years for one big trip and paying mostly in cash or with a single credit card often carry that same cautious mindset forward and are hesitant to open multiple cards or experiment with points strategies.”

She added that many parents remain deeply involved in their adult children’s travel decisions, often financing trips with their own loyalty points or preferred brands. Multigenerational travel is increasingly popular, thus exposing new generations to the same kinds of choices.

“Over time, that becomes their baseline for what travel ‘should’ look like,” Susag said. “As travel has become more expensive and more intentional, people are less willing to experiment and more likely to stick with what they know works. That often means repeating the travel patterns they grew up with, whether that’s specific destinations, hotel brands or trip formats.”

It’s only natural that people who grew up vacationing in a certain way as children would adopt similar travel behaviors as adults.

It’s only natural that people who grew up travelling in a certain way as children would adopt similar preferences. Katy Nastro, a spokesperson and travel expert for the flight alert service Going, pointed to the cliché “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”.

“I personally grew up going to warm beach destinations to escape the New York winter every February,” Nastro said. “I wholeheartedly believe that the desire for a warmer weather destination during the month of February versus a cold weather trip is not just a preference but is now a personality trait inherited from my family travels as a child.”

She believes the same pattern is evident in the families attracted to “the magic of Disney” with Disney theme parks vacations over multiple generations. Our early memories can inform what we find meaningful and rewarding as we grow up.

“My family chooses the mountains over the beach always, because it’s where I grew up vacationing – and if you ask me, it’s just better,” Petitt said. “Those experiences are also what I’m excited to share with my kids, building on those memories. If we never visit a beach as a family, that would be OK by me.”

Family travel habits strongly influence people’s choices – but is that a good thing?

“Any travel is beneficial in my opinion,” Nastro said. “And in theory, inheritourism can create generational travel because people are inclined to continue the tradition of travel to a certain place, hotel, etc. The only downside may be that this perpetuates a blinder affect where people don’t tend to branch away from what they know, and thus never really explore beyond their comfort zone.”

She added that inheritourism might lead people to miss out on good deals if they can’t look beyond the specific brands or locations they’ve “inherited”.

“Travellers may avoid less popular destinations or more immersive experiences because they feel less predictable or convenient,” Susag said. “That said, awareness is growing, and many people are starting to challenge those habits once they realise there are other ways to travel that still feel safe and rewarding.”

Overall, she sees a mix of downsides and benefits to the influence of inheritourism today.

“On the positive side, inheritourism makes travel more accessible and lowers the barrier to entry for a lot of people,” Susag said. “It also encourages multigenerational travel and shared experiences, which can be incredibly meaningful.”

Inheritourism can serve as “a foundation, rather than a fixed path,” she emphasised. Travellers can carry forward meaningful traditions but also cultivate their own.

“People tend to start by recreating the trips and habits they grew up with, then adapt them as their confidence grows and their priorities shift,” Susag said. “Whether that means exploring less traditional destinations, traveling more independently or becoming more intentional about how they spend on travel, many travellers eventually build on what they inherited rather than abandoning it altogether.”

As in other areas of life, parents tend to set the norms and serve as trusted sources for young adults as they make decisions.

“In a world of digital overwhelm and an abundance of choice, travellers are looking to their inner circle to inform their travel decisions,” Petitt said.

“When seeking an experience beyond what is familiar, inherited preferences and trusted travel habits serve as a starting point for discovering something new. The key is balance – while inheritourism offers comfort and confidence, the greatest benefit comes when those familiar influences open the door to exploration, rather than limit it.”

‘I Was An Estranged Child. Here’s What I Wish Parents Knew About Going No-Contact’

Posted on 21/01/2026 by Boris Clair

Estrangement, and especially the estrangement of adult children from their parents, has been a big topic in the past few months.

Oprah Winfrey invited a panel of therapists to talk about the “rising trend” of estrangement on her podcast, for instance. One of the experts controversially blamed “therapy” for “inflammatory reactions” to parents’ behaviour.

And Sir David and Victoria Beckham’s relationship with their son Brooklyn has proven, well, rocky in the past year, too.

We don’t know the particulars of that case for sure.

But with so much attention around the topic of estrangement, we spoke to Dorcy Pruter, the founder of the Conscious Co-Parenting Institute, who began her business after reconnecting with her father following years of estrangement.

Here, she shared “the hard truth most [estranged] parents aren’t ready to hear (at least not at first)”.

“Going no-contact is never the first choice”

Some parents may feel blindsided by their grown-up child going no-contact.

But “going no-contact is never the first choice,” Pruter said. “It’s the last resort of a child who didn’t feel safe, seen, or sovereign in the relationship.”

She added that there is often no single moment that leads to a break.

Instead, “it begins with small moments of emotional misattunement. Dismissed feelings. Subtle control. A child becomes the parents’ emotional regulator.

“It can look like ‘loving too much’ or ‘doing everything for them,’ when in reality, the parent may have unknowingly made their child responsible for their self-worth.”

For the parent, she said, they might really feel they gave their child everything.

“So when a parent finds themselves mystified by estrangement, the most powerful question they can ask is not ‘What went wrong?’ but: ‘What truth did my child not feel safe enough to tell me?’

“Is it helpful to reflect? Yes, but only if the reflection is rooted in curiosity, not guilt or blame. Parents must be willing to trade the need to be ‘right’ for the courage to reconnect. That means listening to the silence not as a punishment, but as a message.”

How can I tell if my grown-up child is distancing themselves from me, and what can I do if they go no-contact?

Another reason parents might feel shocked by their child’s distance, Pruter told us, is that they struggle to notice early signs of disconnection for what it really is.

“There are often early signs of withdrawal, short or transactional conversations, and emotional distance, but many parents miss them because they interpret that distance as rudeness or ingratitude, rather than disconnection,” she said.

And if your child has already gone no-contact, she recommended taking that as an opportunity to “heal [your] own wounds, take radical responsibility, and become safe for their child again, even if that child never returns.

“I often tell my clients that reconnection isn’t about changing your child’s mind. It’s about transforming your own heart.”

Parents And Experts Tackle The Tricky Topic Of Banning Under-16s From Using Social Media

Posted on 20/01/2026 by Boris Clair

After Australia made moves to ban under-16s from using social media, both the UK and France are considering a similar move.

The UK government has now launched a consultation on children’s use of technology, including social media, and said it’s seeking views from parents, young people and civil society – with a response expected this summer.

Over the weekend, more than 60 Labour MPs wrote to prime minister Keir Starmer urging him to back a ban, while members of the House of Lords are set to vote on a cross-party amendment to the Children’s Wellbeing and Schools Bill this week to raise the age of social media access to 16.

Esther Ghey, the mum of Brianna Ghey who was murdered by two teenagers, has lent her support to the amendment, saying it is a “vital step in better protecting children online”.

What do parents and experts think of a social media ban for young people?

In December 2025, a YouGov poll of 5,000 people found 39% of respondents “strongly supported” and 35% “somewhat supported” a ban on under-16s having social media accounts. In contrast, just 15% “somewhat opposed” and 4% “strongly opposed” it.

A separate survey by The Good Growth Foundation found 66% of respondents backed a social media ban for young people, while a petition calling for a ban on social media access for under-16s has been circulating in parent Whatsapp groups – at the time of writing, it had 65,000 signatures.

Dr Tracy King, is a chartered clinical psychologist who has a 13-year-old autistic daughter. She told HuffPost UK that from a parental and professional perspective, she supports stronger regulation and safeguards, but she is cautious of an outright ban.

“Social media can expose teenagers to real risks, including comparison culture, grooming, algorithm-driven distress, and constant nervous system activation,” she said.

“I see this particularly affecting neurodivergent young people, who may be more vulnerable to social overwhelm, rejection sensitivity, and online manipulation.

“At the same time, for many autistic teenagers, social media can provide connection, identity exploration, and a sense of belonging that is harder to access offline.”

The psychologist suggested a blanket ban risks “removing one of the few spaces where some young people feel socially competent or understood, without addressing the underlying issues of platform design, moderation, and digital literacy”.

What she wants most is not just restriction, but protection paired with education and realistic, age-appropriate boundaries. “That education has to extend to parents, as I see many who have no idea of online risks happening behind the bedroom door,” she added.

Lucy Whitehouse, who has a three-year-old and is CEO of sex education charity Fumble, noted that pressure should be put on social media platforms to “clean up their act”, rather than banning young people.

“Social media has a lot of negative content, but it is also the place that young people go to in lieu of any inclusive and accessible sex education at school to find answers to the questions that they have and to connect and to learn,” she added.

One month after the ban in Australia took effect there was mixed reaction from teens, according to CNBC – while some expressed relief at being free of the distraction, others admitted to finding ways to circumvent the ban.

Lee Chambers, founder of Male Allies who has three children aged 13, 11 and two, believes this would happen in the UK too: “If you ban social media, young people will find another way in.”

He also noted that it’s hard to know where a line is drawn in terms of what constitutes ‘social media’.

“Roblox is a social platform where a lot of negative content is being shared. Will the government ban this, too? What about Whatspp? When does the banning stop?” he asked.

“What we need to do is to put real regulation and rules around these platforms that the social media giants must adhere to.”

He added that young people need help navigating the online world – “it’s not something that we can just switch off, it’s everywhere, and with AI things are only going to get worse”.

The government is said to also be looking at options including implementing phone curfews to avoid excessive use and restricting potentially addictive design features such as ‘streaks’ and ‘infinite scrolling’.

Technology Secretary Liz Kendall said: “Through the Online Safety Act, this government has already taken clear, concrete steps to deliver a safer online world for our children and young people.

“These laws were never meant to be the end point, and we know parents still have serious concerns. That is why I am prepared to take further action.”

Since the Online Safety Act came into play, children encountering age checks online has risen from 30% to 47% – and 58% of parents believe the measures are already improving children’s safety online.

Nova Eden, who has three children aged 14, 11 and six, and is one of the leading voices in the Smartphone Free Childhood campaign, added: “The harm being caused to young children is a public health emergency.

“There is an urgent need for UK leaders to step up and implement meaningful, accelerated change for the next generation. It is time to prioritise children’s mental health and wellbeing over the profits of Big Tech.”

Kids And Teen Accounts On YouTube Are Changing – Here’s What Parents Should Know

Posted on 14/01/2026 by Boris Clair

YouTube has revealed it’s changing children’s accounts in the UK to help parents keep kids safer online.

The update comes as the UK government faces growing calls to follow in Australia’s footsteps and ban social media for under-16s.

A petition to ban it has garnered 25,000 signatures (at the time of writing) and prime minister Keir Starmer has now said he’s open to the idea of a similar ban here in the UK.

In a bid to improve the wellbeing of young users, YouTube has revealed parents will now be able to set time limits for scrolling Shorts, and will also enable caregivers to set bedtime and break reminders.

Parents will be able to set limits for scrolling Shorts

As part of the Online Safety Act, social media companies have a duty to protect children and stop them from accessing harmful or age-inappropriate content. Sites can face fines or be blocked in the UK if they don’t take protective steps.

The social media and online video sharing platform is also launching new ‘Quality Principles’ for content creators, developed alongside experts, to ensure videos created for teens are “age-appropriate” and “enriching”.

What are the quality principles?

Professor Peter Fonagy, head of the division of psychology and language sciences at UCL, which partnered with YouTube to provide evidence-based insights on adolescent development, said: “The mental health of children and young people is a global concern, and in the digital age the content teens encounter online can have both positive and negative impacts.”

He said the new quality principles will give creators a “practical, research-informed roadmap for making videos that are developmentally appropriate, emotionally safe, and genuinely supportive of young people”.

The principles include:

Joy, fun and entertainment: Show humour and warmth that lift teens’ moods like a day-in-the-life video or funny, self-accepting outtakes.
Curiosity and inspiration: Encourage exploration through creative tutorials, behind-the-scenes demos, or new hobbies that are easy to try.
Deepening interests and perspectives: Create deeper dives into subjects teens love, like music, gaming, or fashion, and show process, not just outcomes.
Building life skills and experiences: Offer relatable guidance for real-life moments, like teamwork or budgeting, to help them prepare for the future.
Credible information that supports well-being: Share accurate, age-appropriate information. Use trusted sources and avoid spreading misinformation.

Tell me more about the screentime limits…

YouTube said parents will be able to set time limits for scrolling Shorts – including having the option to set the timer to zero.

This gives parents flexibility to set the Shorts feed limit to zero when they want their teen to use YouTube to focus on homework, for example.

Or they could change it to 60 minutes during a long car trip to keep kids entertained.

Parents can also set custom Bedtime and Take a Break reminders.

There’s also a new account-making process

This has been designed to make it easier for parents to create a new kid account and switch between family accounts in the mobile app, depending on who’s watching, so they’re shown the most appropriate content for their age.

Dr Garth Graham, global head of YouTube Health, said: “We believe in protecting kids in the digital world, not from the digital world. That’s why providing effective, built-in tools is so essential, as parents play a critical role in setting the rules for their family’s online experiences.”

According to the social media giant, the updates will be rolling out from 14 January and will expand globally over the coming months.

‘Tis The Season To Share The Mental Load – Keeping Christmas Merry, Not Messy

Posted on 13/12/2025 by Boris Clair

Every parent knows that the merriment and magic-making surrounding Christmas requires time, energy, and often more capacity than any of us have.

Upended schedules, school plays, non-uniform days, PTA events, parties, end-of-year work deadlines, gift-giving, cooking, baking, entertaining – the mental load, which is hard enough to juggle at the best of times, gets thrown into a pressure cooker.

And if one of you assumes the other is happy to manage everything, it won’t take long to reach breaking point.

It’s no wonder the first working Monday of the new year is often referred to as “Divorce Day”, when the strain over the holidays gets too much, and old wounds and buried resentments resurface.

For most couples, divorce isn’t on the cards. But the holidays can still churn up emotions we’ve managed to bury for most of the year; resentment and frustration can boil over and explode during this intensified time.

If you find yourself feeling withdrawn, short-tempered, unsupported, unseen and unheard – you’re not alone.

Take a step back and think about this while wearing your professional hat: would you ever host a major event without a detailed plan? Would you ever launch a new product without a communications campaign? And would you ever do the whole thing alone?

Think of your household as a mini organisation, and December is your biggest annual event. You need to come together as a team to make it a success.

So, set a time to sit down with your spouse or partner (and the kids if they’re old enough), and use the following questions as a guide. The end result is (hopefully) a smoother, happier, argument-free holiday season.

How to start sharing the load over Christmas

With a shared calendar, review all necessary events: school plays, worship services, Christmas parties, family gatherings.
In work settings we use the word ‘objective’. For the family, let’s stick to priorities. Take a deep breath, and each share your top two priorities for the holiday. (Use this opportunity wisely! These should be selfish. Maybe you don’t want to do dishes for two hours on Christmas night, or you want several hours on Boxing Day to do shopping, or you want to attend your work party and stay late without guilt.) Name what is truly important to you and respect each other’s wishes. It might help to add WHY these are important: maybe they don’t want to do dishes, not because they are lazy, but because they love the end-of-the-day snuggles with kids by the tree. Maybe shopping on Boxing Day is the alone time needed to get through the remainder of the school holiday. Maybe the work party is a way to get on the boss’s good side going into the new year.
If your kids are old enough, ask them their priorities as well! If the kids are still little, agree on three priorities you know they love.
Look at everyone’s priorities collectively and talk about how to keep those as the focus. Are any of them conflicting? Do you have the resources to make everything happen? If any priorities cannot be met, reset expectations now to prevent disappointment on Christmas morning. What are you going to let go of this year because it’s just too much?
Now it is time to make a mini action plan. Create a to-do list together, including everything that needs to happen to meet everyone’s expectations. Include deadlines, and decide who is taking responsibility for which task. Be careful to divide as evenly as possible (including all the gift lists) – one person should not be taking on 80% of the tasks. It’s good to discuss consequences too: what is going to happen if one of you drops the ball and doesn’t complete their list? What impact will that have on the family?
Finally, set follow-up meetings. Sit down together 1-2 times a week throughout the holidays to check in, troubleshoot, see where you might need additional help, and hold each other accountable.

It’s time to leave resentment in 2025 and let the holidays be the start of something new.

Rachel Childs is a parenting equity expert, founder of Parents That Work and co-host at Equal-ish, the parenting podcast.

Elf On The Shelf Inspiration To See You Through To Next Week

Posted on 02/12/2025 by Boris Clair

While there are plenty of parents who are probably too maxxed out to be adding Elf On The Shelf to their daily routine (hi, hello, I am sadly one of them), the annual tradition remains hugely popular among families in the UK and across the pond.

In fact, just over one-third of parents (who have kids aged 10 and under) are thought to be taking part.

Whether you’re a seasoned veteran or are taking it up for the first time this year, here’s a quick recap of what it entails, as well as some inspiration for later in the week when you start to run out of steam…

What is Elf On The Shelf?

Like many new events and traditions here in the UK (ahem, Black Friday), Elf on the Shelf originated in the US, as the story of an elf sent by Santa to watch over kids at Christmas time.

Carol Aebersold and her daughter Chanda Bell came up with the storybook in 2004. “We grew up with this tradition in our home,” Bell previously told HuffPost UK. “When we were children, our Scout Elf, Fisbee, would come to our home and look over our family each year. I have such wonderful childhood memories with Fisbee.”

After it was rejected by publishers, the pair decided to self-publish the book in 2005 and packaged it up with an elf toy. This way, parents could make the elf pop up at different places around the house (as he did in the book), reminding kids he was on the move, keeping an eye out for Santa.

Aabersold and Bell sold the books from the backs of cars and reached out to family and friends they thought might want to adopt the tradition. Then in 2007, a picture was taken of Jennifer Garner walking down the street holding her own Elf on the Shelf box set. The photo went viral and everyone wanted to know more. By 2008, Elf on the Shelf was in major retail stores.

How does Elf On The Shelf work?

In short, elves are “adopted” by families and named. On 1 December, they then pop up somewhere around the house – perhaps with a note saying hi to the kids.

Once children are in bed, parents then place the elf (or elves) in different locations around the house so they are somewhere new when they wake up each morning.

The elf then says goodbye on Christmas Eve.

Elf On The Shelf inspiration

OK, so we’ve established how it all works. Now, here’s some festive inspiration for when you run out of steam and have no idea where to put your elves…

1. Hiding in the tree

2. Sitting on your garden furniture (weather permitting)

3. Hanging out on your wreath

5. Tucking into afternoon tea

6. Munching mince pies

7. Causing mischief with toilet roll

8. Conquering a paper cup pyramid

9. Getting frozen (for all the Elsa fans)…

DfE’s Mock Apology Post To Parents Seriously Misread The Room

Posted on 01/12/2025 by Boris Clair

A Department for Education social media statement went viral, but not in a good way.

The Department published a mock ‘apology’ celebrating the impact of its Breakfast Club initiative.

Unfortunately, instead of sounding human or witty, it read as self-congratulatory and oddly patronising – and within hours, was circulating widely as an example of political comms gone wrong.

As CEO of nanny company Koru Kids, I watched this with dismay for several reasons.

I was saddened because the policy itself is well-evidenced and successful. Breakfast clubs are essential childcare infrastructure, and it’s great that they’ve served over 2.6 million meals. That’s something to celebrate.

But the botched announcement also revealed something deeper about trust, empathy and the currently fragile relationship between families and the state.

One jarring aspect of the statement was its self-congratulatory tone. The government seemed to be taking credit for outcomes actually delivered by exhausted frontline workers.

Breakfast clubs have run because kitchen staff show up at dawn. Childcare works because early years educators absorb the strain every day. Attendance has improved because teachers, SENCOs and safeguarding teams grind constantly.

Parents, too, commented the tone of the statement was ‘off’. One section said the Department’s policy has given parents “alarming amounts of unexpected free time”, suggesting British parents are now luxuriating in extra hours at the spa.

Any parent could tell you this is absurd. Parents use childcare to keep their jobs and put food on the table.

But the humour in these cases was gentle, well-judged, and didn’t punch down.

Satire only works when the audience knows you get them. That’s why your friends can take the mickey out of you, but it’s rude if strangers do – because the jokes have to rest on a base of trust.

Sadly, the Department of Education just has not earned the right to joke about how hard it is to be a parent. They’ve misread the room.

What’s actually happening is that life is becoming ever harder for families.

Brand-new data from Buttle UK shows that 43% of young people in crisis think they might need to drop out of education to work. More than half (55%) of children say they’re sometimes too hungry to learn. 60% of parents can’t afford school shoes. 59% can’t afford uniforms.

Against this backdrop, a joke about parents gaining “unexpected free time” doesn’t just misjudge the tone – it makes people wonder whether policymakers understand what life is like for most people at the moment.

This matters, because we are living through a profound crisis of confidence in institutions.

People reading this statement quite reasonably think, “If they don’t get it, how can we trust them to make policies in our interests?”

Empathy isn’t just a layer of comms you add at the end, it needs to be an integral part of the whole process. When it’s missing, it makes you question the process itself.

And that’s something that really threatens us all.

Rachel Carrell is the CEO of Koru Kids.

Try This Kids’ Toy Organisation Trick Now For A Clutter-Free Christmas

Posted on 30/11/2025 by Boris Clair

I regret to inform you that Christmas is scarily close – a matter of weeks away.

While in theory that’s a good thing (peace and goodwill, mince pies, etc, etc), the reality is often pretty hectic.

The buying, decorating, planning, and endless cooking are one thing; the post-unwrapping living room carnage is another, especially if your kids don’t exactly embrace a minimalist lifestyle when it comes to their toys as it is.

Which is why some experts, like Max Wilson, co-founder of Pocket Storage, say trying a “toy rotation” now can help you come 25 December.

What is a “toy rotation”?

Organisation blogger Tidy Dad described a situation many parents will be familiar with: when he kept all of his kids’ toys in a single playroom, his daughter would “eventually move every toy from a bin onto the floor, leaving no room to play or to walk through the space”.

Since then, though, he adopted a “toy rotation” system: basically, he leaves the majority of his children’s toys in a kitchen pantry out of reach, swapping them out every couple of days so they can still enjoy some variety.

That way, there are never enough items in a single space to truly crowd the carpet.

Speaking to Homes & Gardens, Wilson said he’s a huge fan of the strategy.

“The secret to a stress-free Christmas morning is making space now… By implementing a strategic toy rotation… you instantly clear physical space, curb impulse buying, and make room for the new gifts without feeling overwhelmed.”

He recommended getting going in November. But with vanishingly few days left in the month as of the time of writing, we reckon “ASAP” is the second-best start date.

How often should I swap out toys in a “toy rotation”?

Wilson said it’s a good idea to change the “curated” toys you have out every few weeks.

Life With Less Mess said that, depending on how many toys you have out at any given time, anything from once a week to once or twice a month could work.

They added that you might get some cues from your child or children when it’s time to change the rotation, too – they might start fighting over toys, leaving them on the floor, and/or seeming bored.

When this happens, the organisation site advised, “either involve your kids or wait until they’re gone or sleeping and surprise them with a ‘new’ space”.

If you can, try placing toys in labelled containers – this’ll make packing and unpacking a lot easier.

‘I Told My Son I Knew He Was Gay, My Daughter Said I Made A Big Mistake’

Posted on 12/11/2025 by Boris Clair

A parent has sparked debate over their choice to address their son’s sexuality with him directly – after finding out he had been romantically involved with another man.

The 62-year-old said their wife died a decade ago and, in her absence, he’s tried “to be a more nurturing presence for my kids”.

When attending church, he found out through a friend that his son, who’s in his twenties, had become romantically involved with another man.

“At first I was just surprised, but after I digested the news I was concerned that he clearly didn’t feel able to share this important part of his life with me,” said the parent in a Reddit post.

“We live in a more conservative part of the US and I am an active churchgoer, and we had never really discussed sexuality as a family. As such, I was concerned that he thought I would disown him or something: when in reality, I just love him and want him to find the happiness I had with his mother, whatever form that takes.”

Rather than wait for his son to approach him about it, he decided to address it directly with him, “so he knew I loved and supported him and he didn’t have to worry about telling me”.

“I invited him over for a beer, told him what I knew, and expressed as best I could that it wasn’t something he needed to hide from me,” said the parent, who noted that after his son’s initial shock, he hugged him and told him he appreciated it.

“I felt like the conversation went well and I was closer to him,” he added.

The story doesn’t end there however, as when his daughter found out what had happened, she told him he’d made “a big mistake” and warned that he’d “robbed” his son of the opportunity to come out in his own time.

“I really didn’t get the impression my son felt that way about our conversation, and she didn’t hear from him that he feels that way, but she says it’s obvious he’d be upset,” said the parent.

“So now I’m wondering if I’ve been an asshole telling him I knew? And if so, what I should do next?”

Was he in the wrong to approach his son about this?

Society’s default setting is often to assume someone is heterosexual, which means anyone who isn’t might feel they have to “come out” and share their sexuality with others. This can bring with it a range of emotions, including fear and anxiety, but also relief and excitement.

Whether someone comes out or not is their own personal choice – and they shouldn’t feel the need to do this before they’re ready.

That said, some have praised the father for how he handled this scenario.

One Redditor said: “Personally, as a lesbian who has really religious parents who I was terrified to come out to, I think what you did was lovely.”

Gay men also commented to say he “did good”. One person replied: “Gay here. NTA [not the asshole]. Robbing someone of coming out? That’s like robbing me of being drunk driver hit with a car. You didn’t rob anything. You did a great thing.”

Another respondent said: “Being forced out by someone else is unsettling (trust me, I know) and often dangerous. But this isn’t that. This is just a father saying to a son ‘I love you, gay, straight or purple dinosaur’ and sister needs to stay the hell in her lane.”

What a therapist thinks…

Bhavna Raithatha, BACP accredited psychotherapist and author, said there is “no manual for how to approach such a situation”.

“We don’t know the son’s reaction or response, however from experience, both personally and professionally, there can be immense relief in such a situation as for many, it is hardest for them to come out to their parents due to a variety of reasons including culture, religion, societal norms for them,” she said.

“For this father, he did what he felt was supportive. His intervention will have provided a safe place for his son – albeit sooner than the son might have felt ready, and that is something that can be discussed in due course.”

She noted that for parents in this position, another approach could be to wait until your child approaches you, while creating a safe space. So, if sexuality comes up in the media, on a show, or in conversation, her advice is to be open to discussing it, show that you are supportive, and use affirmative language.

The therapist acknowledged that there may also “be a myriad of emotions that come up as well as concerns, [as] the world still has an issue with LGBTQ+ people”.

“There are a huge number of variables to consider for a parent – their own feelings around sexuality, their religion, culture, family dynamics and their OWN sexuality which may be hidden, etc.”

She advised seeking out resources to educate yourself, such as through support groups like fflag.org.uk.

As for what the father should do now, BACP member Dr Paul C. Mollitt said the important thing is to continue being there for his son. “For now, it helps to centre his feelings, not your own – however difficult that might be. What matters most is that he feels safe, loved, and accepted as he is,” he said.

“In time, when he does talk to you, there may be space to explore what made it hard for him to open up.

“But for now, relating to him with warmth and genuine interest in his life, language that signals openness, and affection that doesn’t change will provide the conditions for him to share more about his personal life when he is ready.”

I’m A Doctor, These Are The Best (And Worst) Sweets To Give Trick-Or-Treaters

Posted on 29/10/2025 by Boris Clair

Halloween is nearly here – meaning dozens of kids are headed to a front door near you very soon.

If you live in an area where trick-or-treating is a pretty big deal, you’ll probably want to buy in some sweet treats to hand out to tiny ghouls and monsters – unless you opt to turn off your lights and pretend nobody’s home (in which case: no judgement, save yourself some cash).

If you are planning to hand out treats however, a doctor has issued a word of warning.

Paediatrician Dr Arindam Das spoke to Totalkare about some specific Halloween dangers that can lead to an increase in “blue light” callouts during spooky season.

One of them is pumpkin carving, he said, due to the obvious risk of cutting themselves.

“Young children are also at risk of choking on hard sweets,” he added.

So what are the safest sweets to give then?

The main takeaway is that hard or boiled sweets should be avoided at all costs for kids under the age of five (so it’s probably a wise move to forego them completely).

Whole nuts, popcorn kernels, chewing gum and small jelly sweets “all are high choking risks”, he added. Nuts are also problematic for those with allergies.

Popcorn might be a surprising one to some parents. However, they are problematic for a few reasons: the kernels are so lightweight they can be sucked up back into a child’s oesophagus, where children can either breathe them in, called aspiration, or they can choke – which is where the airway is blocked.

Dr Das said older children (over-fives) can “usually manage chewy or gummy sweets, but parents should still be cautious with very hard or sticky items”.

The safest alternatives, he noted, are “soft, melt-in-the-mouth treats”, like chocolate buttons, mini muffins or soft jelly.

Little boxes of raisins or dried fruit snacks (like BEAR Paws) can be a decent option for younger children, too – and are free of common allergens like gluten, dairy and nuts.

I’m also a big fan of Soreen lunchbox loaves as children with an egg and/or milk allergy can have them.

And if your little one does get to enjoy a treat (or three) this Halloween, the paediatrician added that having water or milk alongside these sweets can help “reduce dental risk”.

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